This is somewhat true - the part about the other terms imposing boxes is, but I don't think it has anything to do with still being in the process of figuring out one's identity, and in fact it is more of a political choice to use the term "queer." In my experience (spending a lot of time around progressive queers), queer is a progressive term reclaimed for the purpose of being all-encompassing. I think people prefer it because it doesn't require one to declare one's specific sexuality and gender identifications within one single term, and it is not limiting the way the other terms in "LGBT" might be. I think within the world of queer activism and organizing, almost everyone prefers to use "queer" rather than the other terms.

Fair enough, thanks for providing a more knowledgable viewpoint.

It seems that "queer" is one of those tricky words that when used by those in the community they represent seems to be ok, but not when used by others. It is, in a sense, a reclaiming of a perforative somewhat akin to the "n word" and therefore considered by some to be more acceptable in usage by those to whom it could be applied to.

Many feel the same way about the word "Tranny." A lot of folks in the trans community get very upset when it is used by outsiders, but can't really be too critical to trans folks themselves deciding to use it.

The really interesting case is the way the word "gay" has evolved. I notice a number of young folks using it to describe something lame, but not really meaning any offense to the LGBT community.

My own opinion is that people get too hung up on words, and I'm not too crazy about the double standard of some words being OK for certain individuals to use and not others. I really feel it's more about intent; if it's meant in positive or jocular manner it's far different that if its clearly being used to verbally assault someone or a group.

Shauna

Sorry to jump on you Shauna, but this attitude drives me nuts. The reason it is okay for members of the community to use these pejorative words is because their own usage has no threat of violence. When someone uses gay to mean lame, or jew to mean cheap, or whatever, that **** is racist/homophobic, even if they did not mean offense to the community!

Especially if I don't know you, I don't know how you mean to use those words. I don't know that just because you called that river card "so ****ing gay", you actually don't hate gay people. Meanwhile, when my friend calls my outfit "so ****ing gay", I know he doesn't hate gay people, because he is gay. I'm not afraid of him; I know him. I don't know you, and I don't know what you would do or feel. So please, just leave the words alone, no matter how 'unfair' you feel it is.

FYP...Shauna is just mostly pointing out the current climate on usage; not whether it's truly right or wrong. It's obviously inappropriate, but best of luck changing the mind of teenage boys and the other people who may use "gay" that way.

If anyone is interested in History and lives near Chicago, there's a great exhibit on display until 3/26/2012, Out in Chicago, at the Chicago History Museum.

I agree with this. My girlfriend calls herself queer to avoid the questions/views toward the label bisexual.

Meh, who cares about labels! Seriously there is just way too much emphasis on labels within the GLBTQ----JKRJKEHJKWHJKWRHRW community its getting quite ridiculous. Who cares about the terms, its not what we should be focusing on. All it does it segregate us more, and make people feel we aren't "normal" (which obviously isn't the case).

You are what you are, why does there have to be such importance on labels.

Not sure if this is girlfriend, as in your close friend, that is a girl, or girlfriend as in your romantic partner.

If it's the later though, I am curious, would her telling people she is bi - sexual while in a relationship with you, bother you?


+ 1 million.

Not to mention, here, just like in every other area of life, people really are too complex to be boxed in to any one label.

Take me for instance, for the purpose of moving the group forward in the eyes of the society as a whole, I would definitely say I am a member of the GLBT community, but wouldn't pick a specific one of those past that (except obv not an L because I am a male.)

Sure I could call myself a B, because it's the closest to being correct, if you were going to assign me just one, but still that's not the first way in which I would choose to identify myself.


Hopefully one day we can live in a world where the only, absolutely, required label we put on ourselves is:

Member of the human race. United and free in harmony, peace, love, and understanding.

Of course, we're a long way from that.

meh. political movements need boundaries and definitions. Queer is the most accommodating.

also

Join Date: Feb 2012
Posts: 540

True but people become obsessed with what label they fit in.

And yeah I live an exciting life.

And I was about ready to congratulate her for that many posts and not getting that account banned, then I saw "banned" under the name. Doh! Reading info from the "BBV" forum, I think she should be back tomorrow. And from reading all the other posts there, it clearly showed me where many of the ten or less word posts that read like "**** you, you *******" go, or god forbid, "ban".

Just dropping in to say hi to everyone. Also big thanks to Jason Sommerville who has helped me a lot. Just a few weeks ago I was to scared to even post in this thread but after 25 years I'm finally starting to feel comfortable with who I am and not scared to share it with other people.

Hello and welcome!

I hope you feel comfortable to join in here in TWSS. We're a pretty friendly group, I think.

Thanks and yes you guys seem very friendly

Welcome Roush Remember seeing you around NVG a bit in legislation threads (love the avatar).

Also RIP Breanne. I was getting worried when I saw that she kept spamming "**** you" so many times in BBV and I kinda felt it was only a matter of time. Not sure if they will allow her back since she has been banned so many times already.

Yea I was a lurker for many years and started to post more in the legislation threads lately.

Hi roush whats your story, are you a gay male? Pro player, part time player, share something with us. Its really nice to see more glbt players recreational or professional come into the community. Tell us a juicy story!


And yeah Whatever I act like a 12 year old in bbv to make myself entertained, so what. Who cares if I troll the worst forum ever ( although il stop being so offensive). Anyway this thread is about glbt, lets keep it that way.

Something about me if anyone cares:

So Ive gotten together with a friend and have been talking lately and managed to tell her about my trans feelings. It made me feel alot better to know ow much she cares about me, very comforting. Suicidal thoughts are gone now and am starting to feel a bit better overall, slowly. The next step is to get out there and explore my feminine side more and being true to myself. I actually bought some more clothes and have been dressing more, which is great but really hard to do living at home ldo. Im so far from being able to move out, since I degened all my poker winnings away playing underolled when I was sad (im so stupid). Il just have to work/save up and move out at the end of the summer, then I can be happy :P.


Im still not entirely sure if I want to transition, if I want to live as a female and am actually having more difficulty accepting myself lately. I feel like im moving forward then backwards at the same time (if that makes sense) and its really hard. But im young, I dont have to decide all this tomorrow, I guess i just gotta explore and have fun!

tldr^.

It makes a decent amount of sense to me Breanne. It's obviously going to be difficult when you're still living at home and haven't come out to your family as of yet. If you want to explore your feminine side, you just have to eventually get out of that house, whether it's for the day, weeks, months, etc. But I'm glad you have found someone in the "real" world to confide in. It's much harder for internet people to give that face-to-face support.

^
Thanks! Yeah it is really hard its like im living a double life, the fake one and the real one. Yeah i know parents just want their kid to be happy, they love you for you blahblahblah. I can't talk to them about any of this though, hell they know nothing about me. Its so hard to tell them, hey mom I think I am another gender, I am not who you think I am, I am extremely unhappy, etc etc etc. This is mostly why I cant truly accept myself and don't know how il ever be able to get past that hurdle. Oh well im young!

The really bad part is when you go smoke weed with your friends and you feel awkward as **** and can't even look them in the eyes!

wat^

That's the really bad part.

http://forumserver.twoplustwo.com/54.../#post31960582

Seriously, I don't know why she wasn't contained to this forum only on this account. It's a good place for her, and she clearly can't handle being let out. It's sad, but what can you do.

Is she a she who wants to be a he or a he who wants to be a she?