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Old 07-07-2014, 06:22 PM   #1126
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Re: **Rainbow Flops: The GLBTQ Discussion Thread**

Well I'll try to add some content by talking about myself, because everyone's gotta be interested in that...

I first met my boyfriend the end of last July. At some date in the end of October, we officially became boyfriends. However, our friends were using that word before that point. Also, we were exclusively dating each other from the start. At first, it was just happenstance that neither of us had anyone else (it's not uncommon with online dating at least to be working through multiple guys at a time to see who sticks) but it was definitely what both of us wanted before we made it official in October. Before we called each other boyfriends, he had nearly moved in with me (he was otherwise living with his parents 8 minutes away, so it wasn't hard for him to end up at my place nearly every night).

Anyway, both of us seem to be using the date in July when we first met as our 'anniversary' or 'how long have you been dating?' answer, but some friends have said we should use October. I don't want to break any 'rules' so I'm curious what you think.

I had met his dad and step-mom before, though I wasn't officially introduced as a boyfriend. He thinks they know anyway since I've been around for a while.

He met my parents recently when the two of us went to vacation at their place for a week. It went well. My parents are so accepting and care-free about the whole gay thing. I think it confuses my bf since his family isn't quite to open or accepting.

I just met the rest of his family at a family BBQ. His mom knew I was a boyfriend, but the rest of the family probably thought I was just a friend. His mom pushed me into the pool at one point, so I think all is good. Or she really does want to kill me.

I have something else to add, but this is getting too long so I'll add it later. Hopefully the suspense makes this thread more active
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Old 07-08-2014, 01:08 AM   #1127
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Re: **Rainbow Flops: The GLBTQ Discussion Thread**

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Originally Posted by ganstaman View Post
Well I'll try to add some content by talking about myself, because everyone's gotta be interested in that...

I first met my boyfriend the end of last July. At some date in the end of October, we officially became boyfriends. However, our friends were using that word before that point. Also, we were exclusively dating each other from the start. At first, it was just happenstance that neither of us had anyone else (it's not uncommon with online dating at least to be working through multiple guys at a time to see who sticks) but it was definitely what both of us wanted before we made it official in October. Before we called each other boyfriends, he had nearly moved in with me (he was otherwise living with his parents 8 minutes away, so it wasn't hard for him to end up at my place nearly every night).

Anyway, both of us seem to be using the date in July when we first met as our 'anniversary' or 'how long have you been dating?' answer, but some friends have said we should use October. I don't want to break any 'rules' so I'm curious what you think.

I had met his dad and step-mom before, though I wasn't officially introduced as a boyfriend. He thinks they know anyway since I've been around for a while.

He met my parents recently when the two of us went to vacation at their place for a week. It went well. My parents are so accepting and care-free about the whole gay thing. I think it confuses my bf since his family isn't quite to open or accepting.

I just met the rest of his family at a family BBQ. His mom knew I was a boyfriend, but the rest of the family probably thought I was just a friend. His mom pushed me into the pool at one point, so I think all is good. Or she really does want to kill me.

I have something else to add, but this is getting too long so I'll add it later. Hopefully the suspense makes this thread more active



"Yes, I am very interested in your stories and could listen to them all day.
not that Im obsessed or anything I wouldn't literally sit around all day reading your stories, not that your stories aren't great."



*************************************************

I am unaware of a set in stone rule regarding the date of the beginning of your relationship as long as both you and your boyfriend(jealous) agree to it. I would go with july. in the story it sounds like being knocked in the pool was a positive sign of affection to me; people who hate me/ want to kill me generally approach me with what I would call a very stern faux-politeness.
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Old 07-09-2014, 08:18 AM   #1128
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Re: **Rainbow Flops: The GLBTQ Discussion Thread**

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I am unaware of a set in stone rule regarding the date of the beginning of your relationship as long as both you and your boyfriend(jealous) agree to it. I would go with july.
Good. We both know that date and actually can't remember the October date, so it works out better for us.
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Old 07-23-2014, 08:07 PM   #1129
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Re: **Rainbow Flops: The GLBTQ Discussion Thread**

Well since no one else is posting here...

Tomorrow is the 1 year anniversary. Not sure what's supposed to happen that day. Thursdays are rather inconvenient.

This weekend, my boyfriend gets to meet my extended family. Hope it turns out as fun as it sounds... :/
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Old 07-24-2014, 04:40 PM   #1130
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Re: **Rainbow Flops: The GLBTQ Discussion Thread**

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Well since no one else is posting here...

Tomorrow is the 1 year anniversary. Not sure what's supposed to happen that day. Thursdays are rather inconvenient.

This weekend, my boyfriend gets to meet my extended family. Hope it turns out as fun as it sounds... :/
Congrats! Plan something for the weekend after, or just have a late night. Not really a rule that you guys have to do something for it, just should be on the same page what you want to do.
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Old 07-24-2014, 09:06 PM   #1131
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Re: **Rainbow Flops: The GLBTQ Discussion Thread**

Congrats gansta!

Also wanted to let everyone I successfully defended my Ph.D. dissertation yesterday. Thanks to everyone who participated in my study.
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Old 07-24-2014, 09:18 PM   #1132
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Re: **Rainbow Flops: The GLBTQ Discussion Thread**

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Congrats gansta!

Also wanted to let everyone I successfully defended my Ph.D. dissertation yesterday. Thanks to everyone who participated in my study.
Well done Dr. Sgt. RJ!
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Old 07-24-2014, 10:44 PM   #1133
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Congrats rj
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Old 07-27-2014, 12:59 AM   #1134
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Re: **Rainbow Flops: The GLBTQ Discussion Thread**

Congrats Dr. Sgt!
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Old 07-30-2014, 06:57 PM   #1135
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Re: **Rainbow Flops: The GLBTQ Discussion Thread**

SGT RJ, first of all congrats. I bet a Ph.D. is a LOT of work! What was your dissertation about?

Also, what do people think about traveling for poker in regards to their significant other. My bf is very busy with work a lot and I plan on doing some traveling for some tourney series later in the year. Some of the destinations such as Florida, I want to kind of make it a vacation of sorts, since I'll already be there, but I know he can't make it out there, so I'm wondering what the "circuit grinders" do. Do you just treat it like a business trip, all work and very little play, and head home afterwards? That's probably the more professional approach. I know if my BF came with, he would get bored and I'd feel guilty after a while at the table which is not ideal, but at the same time, I'd love to have him there. Maybe try to plan it so he can take a couple days off either before or after the tourney stop? What does everyone else do?
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Old 07-30-2014, 07:43 PM   #1136
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I never have a significant other or whatever to bring on some of these circuit stops, but if your partners schedule is flexible, I would recommend them coming mid-week, like Monday-Thursday.

Under the format of the WSOP circuit stops that I've played, typical schedule is 12 days and starts on a Thursday. First weekend is always a big re-entry you don't wanna miss and second weekend is always the main, probably want to focus exclusively on poker while playing those events. The weekday events always suffer a drop off, you might miss some specialized events (6max, PLO, etc) but if you are trying to condense your partner coming while actually playing that's how I would do it.

I always feel guilty if friends or family come to Vegas during WSOP because I'm really only there to play, can't carve out a ton of time for them if I'm not out of that days tournament.

Also the easiest solution is to make him interested enough to actually play poker
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Old 07-31-2014, 04:49 PM   #1137
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Re: **Rainbow Flops: The GLBTQ Discussion Thread**

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Also the easiest solution is to make him interested enough to actually play poker
I wish! I can get him to play heads up with me and have put zynga and pokerstars on his phone. He has a general idea of how to play, but every time I try to get him to play a cheap daily tourney, he will never do it. I don't know why. He seems to have fun playing what little times we do play, but can't get him to a casino for the life of me. Kind of disappointing, but I still try from time to time.

Thanks for the advice. DJ, I know you play a lot of the WSOPC. How do you feel about how steep the rake is for them? Do you just chase the circuit points leaderboard so it makes the decision to play easier for you do you look for the best value tournaments?
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Old 07-31-2014, 09:08 PM   #1138
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Re: **Rainbow Flops: The GLBTQ Discussion Thread**

Dissertation was examining if rejection by parents and/or peers during the coming out process had an effect on attachment style in LGB participants.

Key findings:

Unlike previous research, I found a small but significant difference in rates of secure vs. insecure attachment in LGB participants compared to heterosexual participants, but only in the 18-29 age group.

Participants who reported higher levels of perceived alienation from parents and/or peers while coming out reported higher levels of insecure attachment than those who reported low levels of perceived alienation. Couldn't do causation as I didn't have attachment style pre-disclosure, but a decent first step.

I tried to do something with two time variables but the results were inconclusive due to survey issues and other stuff.
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Old 08-01-2014, 12:52 AM   #1139
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Rake sucks but if you are discipline enough to play cash then traveling the circuit is fine. Cash games are generally always good during the circuit stops.

The leaderboard and rake free $10k tourney at the end of the season is a nice incentive. I don't make the decision to chase points until March or April. There are a ton of good stops before then (Hammond, Cherokee, Choctaw/Tunica swing, Cincy) that are worth traveling to regardless of the points chase. The last two years I wasn't close to top of the leaderboard and went to Philly to put myself in contention, that's no longer a stop though.
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Old 08-05-2014, 08:38 PM   #1140
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Re: **Rainbow Flops: The GLBTQ Discussion Thread**

SGT RJ, I heard your bit on the new PokerCast. Pretty cool! Didn't realize you were a girl either.

Your study sounds pretty cool too.
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Old 09-01-2014, 09:50 PM   #1141
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Re: **Rainbow Flops: The GLBTQ Discussion Thread**

Drove my 82 year old grandmother to the airport today. As I was about to send her through security, we had the following convo about me having a boyfriend:

"So I never got to talk to you. You have a partner now?"
"Yes."
"And he's a good boy?"
"Yes."
"And you're happy?"
"Yes."
"Ok. I was surprised. You know I love you, right?"
"Yes."

Years ago, she said something to the effect of "I don't like Ellen because of what she is," so this was a pleasantly surprising conversation. Yay for progress.
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Old 09-02-2014, 12:39 AM   #1142
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Re: **Rainbow Flops: The GLBTQ Discussion Thread**

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Originally Posted by ganstaman View Post
Drove my 82 year old grandmother to the airport today. As I was about to send her through security, we had the following convo about me having a boyfriend:

"So I never got to talk to you. You have a partner now?"
"Yes."
"And he's a good boy?"
"Yes."
"And you're happy?"
"Yes."
"Ok. I was surprised. You know I love you, right?"
"Yes."

Years ago, she said something to the effect of "I don't like Ellen because of what she is," so this was a pleasantly surprising conversation. Yay for progress.
Awesome!

My grandma has been the same. She was pretty anti-gay in large part due to my grandpa (who still kinda is). But now she says that she is so happy to have another grandson in my BF Chris. ^.^
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Old 09-04-2014, 10:47 PM   #1143
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Re: **Rainbow Flops: The GLBTQ Discussion Thread**

Just venturing here to get a bit of insight from you guys. The past couple of weeks i've been having those moments of the same subject coming up with different people. A few days ago I was at a dinner party, and a girl mentioned how difficult it is to find a female partner (lesbian not bi) because they don't like the fact that she is bi. A few weeks before that one of my close male friends told me he was bi and girls didn't want to date him because of it, the same comment was made by a random instagram follower.

Is this the norm in the community or are these just rare cases?
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Old 09-04-2014, 11:30 PM   #1144
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Re: **Rainbow Flops: The GLBTQ Discussion Thread**

I dunno if it's the norm, but it is not infrequent.

It's a shame.
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Old 09-05-2014, 04:12 AM   #1145
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Re: **Rainbow Flops: The GLBTQ Discussion Thread**

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Just venturing here to get a bit of insight from you guys. The past couple of weeks i've been having those moments of the same subject coming up with different people. A few days ago I was at a dinner party, and a girl mentioned how difficult it is to find a female partner (lesbian not bi) because they don't like the fact that she is bi. A few weeks before that one of my close male friends told me he was bi and girls didn't want to date him because of it, the same comment was made by a random instagram follower.

Is this the norm in the community or are these just rare cases?
Wanna hear something crazy? I was on a tinder date with a girl a couple of nights ago. We were discussing promiscuity & tinder and she mentioned that the girls she'd gone on dates with had all been fairly promiscuous and that she'd slept with more than one of them, and mentioned 'yeah, I'm bi'. I told her that I was too. She seemed very confused, then turned cold, and the date ended soon after, where she'd been fairly flirty before.
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Old 09-05-2014, 08:52 PM   #1146
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Re: **Rainbow Flops: The GLBTQ Discussion Thread**

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Wanna hear something crazy? I was on a tinder date with a girl a couple of nights ago. We were discussing promiscuity & tinder and she mentioned that the girls she'd gone on dates with had all been fairly promiscuous and that she'd slept with more than one of them, and mentioned 'yeah, I'm bi'. I told her that I was too. She seemed very confused, then turned cold, and the date ended soon after, where she'd been fairly flirty before.


Wow that is crazy. Im intrigued by this phenomenon.
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Old 09-06-2014, 08:51 AM   #1147
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Re: **Rainbow Flops: The GLBTQ Discussion Thread**

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Is this the norm in the community or are these just rare cases?
Not sure if it is the reason for others, but too many people I have known that claimed the 'bi' label tended not to be able to commit. Stability in a relationship is critical for a lot of people. So, while it may be an inaccurate stereotype, the moment someone claims to be bi, they are stricken from the pool of potential partners.

Personally, I have no compunction about admitting a preference for others who were exclusively lesbian...the whole bi thing is something that is apt to be a deal-breaker.
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Old 09-06-2014, 09:02 AM   #1148
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Re: **Rainbow Flops: The GLBTQ Discussion Thread**

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Not sure if it is the reason for others, but too many people I have known that claimed the 'bi' label tended not to be able to commit. Stability in a relationship is critical for a lot of people. So, while it may be an inaccurate stereotype, the moment someone claims to be bi, they are stricken from the pool of potential partners.

Personally, I have no compunction about admitting a preference for others who were exclusively lesbian...the whole bi thing is something that is apt to be a deal-breaker.
Really?

I mean, you do see how that's discrimination like any other, right?
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Old 09-06-2014, 10:30 AM   #1149
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Re: **Rainbow Flops: The GLBTQ Discussion Thread**

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Really?

I mean, you do see how that's discrimination like any other, right?
sorry but I don't believe in the 'every kid gets a trophy' sort of PC nonsense...people are allowed to have their preferences. And just as I have absolutely ZERO desire to sleep or date men, I also have a preference not to sleep or date with people who have slept with men.

For anyone to even suggest otherwise is to erase lesbians from the landscape. It's bad enough watching the social justice warriors trying to erase female from the landscape and destroy space that was womyn-only (see the recent debacle surrounding MichFest or ANY attempt by women to gather outside of the presence of persons born male).
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Old 09-06-2014, 11:00 AM   #1150
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Re: **Rainbow Flops: The GLBTQ Discussion Thread**

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sorry but I don't believe in the 'every kid gets a trophy' sort of PC nonsense...people are allowed to have their preferences. And just as I have absolutely ZERO desire to sleep or date men, I also have a preference not to sleep or date with people who have slept with men.

For anyone to even suggest otherwise is to erase lesbians from the landscape. It's bad enough watching the social justice warriors trying to erase female from the landscape and destroy space that was womyn-only (see the recent debacle surrounding MichFest or ANY attempt by women to gather outside of the presence of persons born male).
Your 2nd paragraph is 'pc nonsense'.... And political correctness is a very important (if often overused and misunderstood) movement.

There's no 'every kid gets a trophy' element to this. My problem is that you're politicizing sexuality. 'Feminism is the theory, lesbianism is the practice'. Of course, things are very different for female bisexuals as they are for male bisexuals, and the numbers are presumably somewhat different as well, but my understanding is that lesbians are much more part of the landscape than female bisexuals are. That's partly because of politics, namely 1) that even for girls, it's easier (partly because of attitudes like yours) to choose a side, to avoid confusion and abuse, and 2) that it's easier to identify with your own sex and avoid heterocentrism, and 3) that (pretty much only for female bisexuals) dating guys is tacitly seen as being complicit in misogyny (which I can fully understand).

I have a vague sexual preference for white girls. I don't find that many black or asian girls attractive. But to make it a policy that I don't date black or asian girls would be outright racist.
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