But on a for real note, one's sexuality is totally fluid and always changing. You may be attracted to people with dark features for 10 years and then your heart may get broken by one or you just might want to try something different (subconsciously and maybe a bit consciously) and then you find yourself attracted to blondes. At the end of the day it doesn't really matter.

On a side note, when I came out to people it's kind of like a double whammy in that not only am I gay, but I like older guys. This is always the most confusing part. People will be able to grasp the gay part, but then can't understand why anybody would like older guys. I've even had negative reactions about it from other gay guys. I generally keep it on the DL unless it is a close friend because of the amount of explaining I have to do about it. Genuine curiousity is fine, but sometimes I'm just not in the explaining mood nor do I even truly understand much to the reasoning myself. I lived with a bf for a year and during that year, my parents (devout Catholics) were willing to spend Christmas morning at our house. I was probably 24 or 25 and he was about 55. We all got along great and it was a pretty great experience to be honest.

I tried dating a guy my age when I was in college and while he was nice and I enjoyed his company, I felt like I was dating a girl. I would be sitting there hoping he didn't try to kiss me after the date. It reminded me of when I'd try to date girls in middle school/high school how I was just doing what society expected of me. So yea, that was the last time I attempted that.

Don't really have time to jump into the rest of the discussion, but I do feel compelled to defend the boonies... They are beautiful, lots of fun, and, at least in my experience, relatively cootie free.

Carry on boys

ok ill try
When I was 8 I had no idea what gay was or sex was or anything like that being a bit on the sheltered side at that time. A relative of mine was reading a newspaper and it had an article about homosexuals but I didn't read hardly any of it I was just looking at the picture; it was a picture of two feminine gay guys. I pointed to the picture and asked my relative who those people were and he said "they are a bunch of queers." to which I replied " ewww, queers are gross."
Then he said "Thats right! Those perverts belong in jail."
He interpreted what I had said as extremely straight looking back on it,
but it wasnt that way at all. I had no idea what gay was or anything, but the guys in the picture had bloodshot eyes from doing meth for two days or something and badly misapplied make-up(clowns) and drooping mascara and were old and probably picked for the picture in the newspaper to spread apprehension about the lgbt community and whatever conservative views the newspaper was saying; I was judging those guys by looks. looking back on it I wonder what it would have said if the picture had been of lets say matt bomer, "wow queers are cool" or something.
I was always attracted to masculinity and since I had never met an actual gay person(or at least an openly one) that stupid picture and my relatives words combined to create an image of what gay was that I didnt like. Most people I knew said gays were bad so as a young person I trusted their authority on the issue. By the 2000's there are like a million gay people on tv but that used to be more fringe and the ones on tv were less open about who they were.

This can create a subconcious opinion that somehow being attracted to guys is wrong. I have often thought to myself that I could live a normal life with a nice suburban house and wife and just put all my romantic and sexual feelings for guys aside. Should I say something or shouldnt I say something? I make this choice each day and decide that its too difficult so I decide to wait until tommorrow every day for years. It would be a lot easier to be straight especially for me so thats why I wrote that in reasons not to post list.

I was going to write some more but im kind of sleepy and making myself feel sick and dont feel like writing about it any more. I hope that makes some kind of sense.

Your post makes perfect sense. In mine and many of my friends experiences, you have just summed up what most people feel when coming to terms with having a different sexuality. I was 100% convinced that even though I was attracted to men, that I was going to marry a woman and set that part of me aside for the rest of my life. Then I moved to California for college and started to realize how big the world is and how different we all are. I met some gay people and realized they are normal people and then started to realize if be much happier if I just told people and lived my life the way I want to live it. It sounds to me like you are slowly getting to that point. It is a process, one that in some ways I am still working on even 7 years later. We all grew up in a world that thinks gay is wrong. It takes some time to get the reality of things straight in out minds. As time passes, eventually being gay will be a non-issue, but until then....

Thanks for the support snowhio, I have often felt like everything I say is misinterpreted by everyone so saying personal things about myself will make me sound creepy and it means a lot to me. I have never been to California, not even once, but I have thought about it. In my head what happens is since I fail at everything, I become a crack whore or something in west hollywood or san fransisco or something but seriously I have thought about going to California a lot in the past but its kind of a scary thought since I have never truly completely supported myself and just assume things would go wrong.

the thing about being like me is you can rationalize everything.
Like true story, this was in high school in 2003 or 2004 there was a guy; im going to refer to him as Brad but that was not his real name at all-its a made up name. He was gorgeous in an overwhelmingly cute way- he was about 5'8" tan/bronze skin of some southern europe descent with a beautiful face and he had almost no blemishes of any kind on his body. He was a singer for a christian rock band with a good voice and was the type of person where if he wore like a shirt that said I like science! and glasses he would still be the most talked about guy in your class. I had swim class with him and also during this class for about a four month period had (seboriach dermatitis I think thats what it was called) and so I had red blotches all over my face for a few months and whenever he would talk to me I would freak out because he could see the blotches on my skin.
I would read his myspace profile for hours and may have used map quest to find out where he lived and one time I was at a party where he was at( I didnt go to a lot of parties in high school i was mostly a loner) and had a conversation with him that I cherished then after the party I went home and ..fantasized about it... and then had a dream about him.

None of this behavior struck me as gay at the time at all.seriously. I just thought he was interesting. and as for my dream of him well I had some beers and in high school you dont really understand alcohol so maybe it was just that! I had had sexual thoughts about women so maybe if I didnt want to have sexual thoughts about men I just shouldnt drink.

If youre like me you can rationalize a lot of your behaivor to fit narratives others want them too.

lul

It's all good and glad you appreciate it. I definitely appreciate this thread and I'm amazed at how open some people can be on here and basically on 2p2 in general. It's definitely a nice thing to be honest about stuff. So, spaceman, you should check out Jason Somerville's interview on The Mental Game of Poker podcast. It was just released recently and some of the things he says fall in line with some of the stuff you are saying. And re: California, throughout my time here (moved here in 2005) I have had many friends from Ohio move out here. Some for a year. Some for several years. Some are still here. And some even moved here for a couple months. It's always pretty easy to move back home so if you truly are interested in moving away from Kansas, just remember, Kansas isn't going anywhere.

I haven't read the thread yet.I'm sure it'll be good-just noticed op didn't have hrc web link.

www.hrc.org/m

Here's a 'kids react to' vid to gay marriage.cute as hell.these youtube dudes do this bit with 'kids react to' and 'elders react to' and they show em crap on the internet but sometimes they are serious in a way.



And the one and only lez lemon...heh…puns




I queers

I didn't have HRC link because they have tended to be not inclusive of the T in GLBTQ.

I'm not trans but I don't feel this way.I'm sorry if that's anyone's opinion.I haven't seen that to be the case in a political realm or at pride events.hmm.

From hrc front page.


The Human Rights Campaign represents a force of more than 1.5 million members and supporters nationwide. As the largest national lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender civil rights organization, HRC envisions an America where LGBT people are ensured of their basic equal rights, and can be open, honest and safe at home, at work and in the community.

Oh and like 3rd story down is a trans guys story bout...well ya'll go read it.

Anyway.We all like queers so- woo!

http://transgriot.blogspot.com/2013/...s-hrc.html?m=1

Actions speak louder than words. (The blog posts here cover a lot of the animosity between the trans community and the HRC)

I don't want to argue.I'm not intrested in dividing a community.We should just all Come Together.



http://www.babeland.com

We should all come together, I wasn't arguing, I was explaining why the HRC isn't exactly the best nor most inclusive organization.

I think they are better than nothing...

It's all well and good to say we should all come together. It's what we want.

It's impossible to give unconditional support to an organization that has a history of throwing your part or parts if the community under the bus.

Trust is a fragile thing. HRC played bait and switch with the trans community over ENDA , and many of us feel that the money and volunteer hours they took from us were fraudulently obtained.

The article linked by Protential really explains it well.

Shauna

I understand where you're coming from.I was just trying to post positive gay things.I get what you're saying.Still-if I could show someone who didn't know anything about the world of gayness one website about gay issues,life,politics,links,help,etc...it would be hrc.

They list a bunch of stuff of course like pflag lamda legal trevor project,etc.

Anyway I still hope everyone comes together.Seems like the goal.

Fun gay stuff...

http://tristantaormino.com/

So I was just out in Palm Springs last weekend and it was Dinah Shore weekend. For those of you that don't know what that is, it's a weekend based around the LPGA that becomes a big party weekend for lesbians. I was checking out what was going on and they had a celebrity poker tournament open to the public among the festivities at the convention center. I wanted to play, but you needed to have a pass for the big party which I wasn't going to. The lesbians get all the fun poker action. You'd never see that at a gay party weekend, but imo THAT would be pretty awesome!

Kudos to the many lesbians who have discovered how great poker is. Gay guys need to catch up in that regard.

Hope you had a good time.
White Party.Pool Party.what what!

Hope you saw Tegan & Sarah, Suzanne Westenhoefer, and Fortune Feimster(recently in Workaholics episode 'massage chair')

I lesbos

Lesbos

"I'LL throw in an extra breadstick for that!"

http://djmacjr.tumblr.com/post/82698...g-the-insanity

Djmac came out earlier today.

Congrats!

What an attention whore that guy is

Righteous!

Why do you say this?

I think that's a case of sarcasm not coming as clearly through on the internet. At least that's what I thought.

Check my location

I don't get why your location is there, unless you mean you are him. If that is so I am lost....


Sent from my Nexus 4 using 2+2 Forums