Cool, never saw this thread until now. Most of my poker friends know that I'm out, only some close family left to tell. I need to switch my location on here, should be I won a 5/95 at birth, not that I lost one.

Being gay or not being gay isn't the percentage I would focus on personally, I think the win or lose of it really depends on how the people that are most important in your life react when you tell them.

If your family, and friends are all accepting and supporting of your being gay, then, for sure, you have won.

Really good statement. You never lost anything.

I don't think us poor straight people lost anything either, tho.

I think a lot of my negative thinking on my sexuality came after I accepted myself, being a sport management major in college and wanting to work in the sports industry, I really didn't think being openly gay while having a successful career was a possibility. After doing a few internships (although closeted) I really don't think anyone cares what I do in my personal life as long as my work is good.

Also considering that if I'm ever "blackballed" from the industry because of my orientation I feel I have a bunch of backup plans in regard to career opportunities. Like Protential, I somehow luckboxed a WSOP FT this summer, so I've just been playing poker while searching for an actual job in the industry that I would enjoy.

The LC used to be my stomping grounds. Played there for like a decade, only tournaments in recent years.

If you ever played with a butch dyke it was probably me.

Sigh, I miss the Bay Area.

But welcome to the thread all the recent posters!

I'm excited about this thread! I'm a lesbian from norcal. Some really good posts so far. Keep it up!

Occasionally it has come up here in TWSS that a gay or lesbian player has told a story about encountering some form of anti-gay statement at the table, and we've all discussed how we would deal with it.

Obviously things can be a little different at the poker table, where we often don't want to chase away a very bad player no matter what kind of garbage he spews, but my usual stance is that I speak up, even if no one else will, because it is only when society as a whole takes a stand and says that calling someone a ****** is hate speech that it will become less tolerated, much like calling a black person a ****** is no longer tolerated (and I'm not going to get into the whole 'reclaiming the word' issue here).

I was rereading one of my texts for my dissertation research (the 2nd edition of Psychological Perspectives on Lesbian, Gay, and Bisexual Experiences), when I came across this passage, which I think sums up far better than I ever could why gay slurs as hate speech should not be tolerated, and the damage they can do, so I thought I'd post it here. Do with it as you see fit.

"Most people in American society find epithets such as ****** and **** to be offensive precisely because they convey raw hatred and prejudice. Such words have been used historically by oppressors to remind the oppressed of their subordinate status. Similar levels of hatred are conveyed by words such as ******, dyke, and queer, and the threats of violence (implicit and explicit) that accompany them. Such antigay verbal abuse constitutes a symbolic form of violence and a routine reminder of the ever present threat of physical assault. Its "cost" to the perpetrator in time, energy, and risk is minimal, yet it reinforces the target's sense of being an outsider in American society, a member of a disliked and devalued minority, and a socially acceptable target for violence.

Antigay verbal assault challenges the victim's routine sense of security and invulnerability, making the world seem more malevolent and less predictable. The psychological effects of verbal abuse may be as severe as those following physical assaults, and potentially more insidious because victims of verbal abuse may find its "psychic scars" more difficult to identify than physical wounds. It affects how one feels about oneself with no physical injury to which to attribute the feeling."

I know it's easy to say it's words, shrug it off and move on, but I think everyone knows that words can hurt, and hurt badly. So I don't care if the villain is a gigantic fish, I'm going to continue with my policy of telling anyone using gay slurs to put people down (which fortunately is extremely rare in my life) that I don't think it's funny or acceptable.

Just my .02 cents.

a couple trips ago, a dealer at bay 101 called a player at the table a "f***ing ***got". That was a surprising one for me. i reported it, and then the next time I was there I saw him again...that was also surprising to me. seems like doing that should be a pretty big no-no in a service industry.

This summer at the WSOP I was playing a cash game and this drunk guy comes and sits to my direct right. He buys in and starts playing, getting into some verbal confrontations with people at the table while drinking.

Eventually after he opens and gets basically min-raised by the button, which the drunk guy says is a 'f*g raise'. The button freaks out about being called a *** and gets the floor over to the table. The dealer and button both repeat what the guy says and the floor says 'We don't accept that language here, you're out of here.' Drunk guy protests unsuccessfully.

This ended up bothering me for a few reasons:

-I was pretty close to telling the floor and everyone at the table "yeah I don't care that he said that, I'm gay and it was a mistake, just let him play" (just thinking of taking his money)
-After reflecting on it for a day I got depressed that my self esteem was that low, that I would let myself be verbally degraded just to try to win some pots off of him
-Later during that series I find out that the button was actually a dealer during the WSOP, so who knows if the floor actually cared what he said, or if he was just taking action because of the dealer being involved, which also annoyed me thinking about it.

---
Other than that I get the typical banter at the tables, but remaining quiet for now. I've had a hard time the last few months "pretending" I'm straight. Anytime someone asks me my opinion on a waitress or another player I kind of give the 'yeah shes cute' BS line but that's all I can muster. I don't even think anyone will care (at least not to my face anyway), just struggling to find the point to out myself and deal with all the extra BS that comes with it.

+1 to RJ for not being a coward. need more people like that.

mr. mossy, do you really want to come out though? I know a lot of people get pressured into and for some it really wasnt worth the hassle. For some I know there's already a quiet understanding among family and they are content with that. People will obviously think one way or another when you're a forty year old bachelor. Not trying to antagonize you either way, just curious.

I'm not saying I would shove it down everyone's throat if I came out, but just to have the freedom to express my opinions (if I chose to do so) would be the biggest benefit.

It comes down to being an honest guy with my thoughts and opinions, I feel like I am with every other topic, I don't think my sexuality is something I should feel the need to hide.

LMAO. Oh exploitable. Err anyway, I totally see what you mean. I was so stressed before my friends knew. Sometimes I wanted to just say things like, "wow that dude's hot" when we're out somewhere or watching tv, w/e. It really is liberating in that sense. I can really empathize in your position being in the testosterone driven sport industry though. Poker doesnt seem any better and I m glad I don't primarily play live.

Wow...that's just...i don't even.

This is where being orange comes in handy, that troll will troll no more...

Yea, guess we were working on it at the same time.
I was giving the infraction and by the time I finished, the post had been deleted.

np and hes banned too perm...screw ppl like that imo. if you ever feel a need to pull a trigger and are a bit unsure just hit me up I will gladly do it jm3 knows the drill too

that meme he posted was just quoting protential, shugbomb is not a biggot or anything, he just wanted ppl to know that protential is a racist who started a glbt thread.



sure maybe shugbomb deserves an infraction, but banning him? pretty harsh imo

he enjoys stirring up ****. Its documented in his profile. He also brings a fight from another forum to here , which is a relatively mellow vibe.
Im willing to reverse the perm to a 7 day temp and some points and note his profile again. IDC what his excuse is for dragging a fight here but quoting something because someone else did it is never cool, ever.
Officer I was just following...yea i know you were ...
Thats not a "meme" go read what a meme is , that's someone taking a quote and putting it on a picture.
Also I'd rather not have this thread derailed if you wish open discussion your welcome to an ATF thread but if you wish to try and resolve it you are welcome to PM me.

I had a "moment" this past Saturday at the Lingerie Football League game. I guess it never dawned on me before, but during a timeout or something of that sort, they did a "Kiss Cam" and made a statement about husbands grabbing your wives, etc etc etc. The heteronormativity of such a thing hadn't really struck me before, but I had spoken with a friend (who happens to be a lesbian) earlier in the day about going to the game with me and knew that there was a non-hetero contingent in the crowd.

I'm sure there are plenty of occurrences of this sort that go by unnoticed (by me), but I'm wondering if this is something that GLBT folks are bothered by a lot or if it's something that kinda slides off the back (not to say that it isn't troubling, but that it doesn't sink one into a major funk).

The only way that I can try to equivocate the feeling is to think of how often I hear something that's disparaging or presumptive regarding women or Asians and how that impacts me. While I've gotten "used to" idiotic assumptions about sex / race, I feel that I am a bit more sensitive when it comes to idiotic assumptions about sexual orientation.

Not really sure why that is.

Just throwing it out there because it's been on my mind since Saturday.

A team I interned for had a "Kiss Cam" segment every game. The end would almost always be either two opposing male players or two male fans being featured while the crowd laughed out loud, basically insinuating how wrong it was for two of the same sex to be featured on this kiss cam. Always bothered me a little bit, but considering I would probably be the only one in a crowd of 15,000+ to really care, I never brought it up (I was working in game entertainment so I could have technically brought up my viewpoint to the right people)

People are just dense - I wear pretty loud clothing a lot of the time, and still, people ask for my opinions or make comments to me about girls. I just try to relentlessly put in hidden gay references and hope that I'll meet someone like that at the table. I'm a romantic dreamer.

Somehow I always try to get into conversations about sports, which I'm mostly clueless about, but a few sessions ago I tried a new approach.

Someone asked, "Rodgers or Brady," to the rest of the table.
"Well, Brady has a better face, but I'd pick Rodgers' body all day."

l-o-fricking-l /attemptedhumor
f-heteronormativity

At times, but for the most part no. The world is a heteronormative place. What is annoying, to me, is when people make clearly bigoted, ignorant and hateful remarks and use words like gay in a negative context.

As people's knowledge on the GLBT community expands and as our society becomes a much more accepting place, things like the above will get much better. Just a matter of time, and calling people out on their bull ****.

Agreed. On things like Kiss Cam, you always have to bail out on male/female because it's the most likely pairing and should result in the most kisses. Even though most of the hetero kisses suck in these segments.

The St. Louis Blues hockey club has been known to do this as well. One game I attended vs. the Calgary Flames they ended the segment with two men in Calgary jerseys. They proceeded to make out, and the crowd and I gave them the biggest cheer of the segment.

Martina was forcibly outed by a scummy sports journalist in Florida, before the 1981 Final of the WTA Championships with Chris Evert in Amelia Island, FL. I know, because I was there. Martina was so distraught she lost the final to Evert 6-0, 6-0.

I was a senior in high school, and I was there with my family, who had a place in the resort. We later moved there for good. That day, I was working the tournament and led both Navratilova and Evert onto the court, and then off of it after the match.

During the presentations after the match, Martina apologized to the crowd for her performance and broke down. Evert put her arms around her and the whole crowd stood up, applauded and chanted Martina's name over and over.

This was a pretty conservative crowd in North Florida. Mostly white and wealthy. And they stood together - in 1981 - and let Martina know that they did not care about her sexuality. we loved her as an athlete.

I'm still quite proud I was there that day and that people who loved tennis didn't give two ****s about what the scummy reporter wrote about.

No need to out yourself if you don't want to...just say, "eh, she's not really not my type. Cute girl, tho."