Right, and I don't think that either sexuality or gender are binary, but the general problem is that we use labels and language to make things easier. Humans have a natural tendency to try to put things in boxes mentally. Those who fall outside the conventional boxes are always at a disadvantage because of this.

Some high level enlightened thinking itt. Bravo TWSS, bravo.

I'm all for having an all-encompassing term but don't you dare touch my bisexual label. Just because gender is flexible and sometimes unclear doesnt stop it from being binary. If terms are meant to be derogative then by all means take them in a derogative manner but this is obviously just a way to help this befuddled race comprehend some of the complexities of sexuality, not pigeonhole some people and demean others.

wut

It's either binary or it isn't.* If it's binary then it's clearly defined as either or. Look up the word binary in the dictionary. If you admit there's ever more than 2 possibilities then it's by definition not binary.





















*it isn't

I wanted to share this here.


This is something I wrote after I realized I was a feg, around 2005. It was not a happy time in my life. .... well, from 2001 to 2008 was extremely turbulent, and I was severely depressed, especially around 2005-2007. It's something from a very dark time in my life.






I used to get so depressed and angry and hate myself so much, I screamed at myself in the mirror, screaming I hate you ******, **** you, and spitting at myself.

True, absolute self loathing, in the deepest sense of the word, I am no stranger to.

I'm actually kind of happy being a *** these days. I guess maybe as happy as I can be in. Sometimes I wish I were the opposite sex.

I have a question. How do you know if you have multiple personalities?

I heard something about sexual abuse causing multiple personality disorder. Like the person creates another personality or some **** to try to escape the traumatic situation or something. I was sexually abused as a child on multiple occasions, by more than one person, and now as someone who is bisexual, and has gender identity issues, sometimes I feel masculine and am sexually interested in females, and in a dominant role, and sometimes I am sexually interested in males, and in a submissive role.

Might I have multiple personalities? One a male, and one a female?

All I can say about that is I'm glad you're in a better state of mind now.

Just going off of what you described, I doubt it. Just because you get aroused by different things depending on your mood doesn't mean you have multiple personalities.

I question your assumption that getting aroused by dominance = masculinity, and getting aroused by submissiveness = femininity. I think it would help you understand yourself and everyone else better if you let go of these binary gender stereotypes.

I think it's important to keep exploring your own mind and behavior. Talk to other people who feel the same way. Maybe it would help to find some other forums aimed specifically at people with GID.

Agreed with all of this.

Dominance/submission isn't about male/female masculine/feminine. Just because most men are more dominant and most women aren't doesn't mean that being either makes you more of one or the other.

It is possible that you do have GID, but in general you'd realize if you did have it to any significant degree.

Also i definitely agree that gender isn't binary, I do feel as though bi-sexual is a relevant sexuality term, but only because there are people who are into people who only identify as male or female.

If you are sexually into any gender, that is pan-sexual. I do feel as though many people who label themselves as Bi- probably fall more into the pan category, but doesn't really matter.

Most people with multiple personalities (clinical term Dissociative Identity Disorder) will experience what are known as dissociative fugues, where they "come to" after a period of time with no recollection of the last hours, days, weeks or in extreme cases, even years.

If you aren't missing large chunks of time then I'd say the odds you have DID are slim to none.

My mother has/had DID (depending on how you look at it it never goes away and the reintegration is... sketchy at best, at least for her). I highly doubt you have DID, as someone else mentioned you'd have some pretty large time gaps, and you'd likely run into someone that you kinda recognize that was calling you by a different name.

As for the rest, as others have said the associations of dominance/submission with masculinity/femininity aren't really indicative of much. Mostly they're societal programming. Our entire society is built around the idea that masculine is superior, feminine is inferior. It's in our language even. If a woman is assertive, motivated, and ambitious, she's largely seen as a an overbearing bitch by colleagues, whereas a man exhibiting those same behaviors is seen as a go getter.

For gender identity stuff, that's a big murky swamp of stuff to get into. Your history of self loathing is certainly typical of someone with either sexual orientation or gender identity issues.

If you would like, send me a PM if you want to discuss this further. I have a considerable amount of knowledge in this area in particular. Probably your best bet though, would be to talk to a shrink with experience dealing with gender issues to help you work through them.

You're not a freak. You're not weird. You're not insane. You're just different. Whatever the reason, getting to the bottom of that difference and understanding it will go a long ways towards improving your overall well being. Maybe you're just a guy that likes to throw on some lingerie and have a good time. That's cool. Maybe you really feel more like a girl and might be happier as one. That's cool too. Maybe you feel something else entirely and don't really fit the binary. Hey that's pretty radical and awesome. Maybe you don't even feel like you fit within a spectrum that runs from male to female but exist entirely outside of that. That's really a mind bender and pretty friggen cool.

No matter where you fall though, or what the reasons for it are, understanding it and the reasons you feel that way can be a huge weight off your shoulders, and allow you to get to a point where you can just enjoy being you.

I'm not sure where you're located, but chances are good if you're close to a major metropolitan area that you can find someone to help. I've got a fairly extensive list of places throughout the US, and some in a handful of other countries that have people with experience helping people with gender identity issues, some of which are accessible to those with little to no income.

Let me know if you're interested, and I'll see what I can do to help.

One reason you might not have multiple personalities is because we're not really sure that it's a real thing. Certainly people can go into dissociative states as a defense against trauma or any unpleasant situation, but for someone to have multiple clearly separate personalities is something different.

They aren't so much distinct whole personalities as fragments. That's what I learned about it at least. That's why reintegration therapy is what it is. It's like trying to glue a broken vase back together.

I've known a number of people that claimed to have DID. I've only ever known 2 that fit the bill for it though. It's pretty obvious imo. I'm sure lots of people have disassociative states, but full blown DID is rare, and rather obvious.

We're not going to solve this here, but I want to make it clear that it is far from obvious. To quote the wikipedia article: "DID is one of the most controversial psychiatric disorders with no clear consensus regarding its diagnosis or treatment." Basically, we're not sure if DID is something real or not. No matter how obvious it may seem to you, it's not yet obvious to those working in and studying the mental health field (myself included).

Yeah it's far from obvious.

That said I've read a couple of case reports that suggest that it is real, if EXTREMELY rare. Also one of my professors in undergrad had a DID client - he said he didn't think it was real until he met this woman and worked with her. She came and spoke to my class.

But yeah it's really rare. Like 1 in a 10 million type rarity.

Skepticism is going to be the default for most mental health workers because pop culture has a) made it seem more common than it is and b) made it seem like a possible way to get out of things, which motivates people to fake it for a variety of reasons.

The 'imo' should have carried to the last sentence. My mother was a case study for DID in California, and she's then only reason I know anything about it at all. I argued with my psych 101 professor about DID. He was firmly of the opinion it was made up as a way for people to avoid responsibility for themselves. He based his case on the fact that DID had recently been renamed and had some other changes in the (then) new DSM IV. Told him he should throw the whole book out then because there's not a thing in there that hasn't been changed over the years.

Aside from my mother, I've only ever known one person that's acted similar, but I've met a lot of people that have claimed some degree of DID (a lot here means a couple dozen or so), but there's only been one aside from my mother that I thought might actually meet the standard for it. I'm no psych expert though. I'm just a random person that had a run in with some serious crazy that comes from a long line of crazy, and did some research as a result. I've only anecdotal evidence for anything relating to DID, so really, my opinion on the subject shouldn't carry any real weight anyhow.

It is something I enjoy talking about though. Its a very interesting phenomenon. I swear though if it ever becomes the fad diagnosis the way adhd, bipolar, autism, and Asperger's have... I'm going to scream

It really can't, and won't, become that much of a fad.

It goes far beyond more "typical" psychotic symptoms like dissociation, hallucinations, or delusions. The amount of people who literally form multiple personalities, some of which have no knowledge of the other ones, is extremely small.

Which is fortunate, since it appears this type of personality fracturing is the result of significant repeated trauma at very early ages, trauma the mind can't handle and, as a result, alternate personalities are created in order to compartmentalize the trauma. That's gotta be a horrible way to live, huge chunks of your life just missing for reasons you don't understand.

I like this guy's take on it: http://www.cnn.com/2010/HEALTH/exper...sorder.raison/

"There is no doubt that some people behave as if they have multiple personalities. And not all of them have been to therapists who have trained them to interpret their dissociative experiences in this way. Does this mean that dissociative identity disorder exists? In my opinion it depends on what we mean by 'exists.' Yes, dissociative identity disorder exists if by exists we mean there are people who complain of its symptoms and suffer its consequences. Do I think that some people have many biologically distinct entities packed into their heads? No. I think that some people dissociate so badly that either on their own or as a result of therapeutic experiences it becomes the case that the most convincing way for them to see their own experience is as if it is happening to multiple people."

Interesting stuff.

This is pretty interesting. Thanks.

Not that anyone reads this thread anymore, but my home state of NJ becomes state #14: http://edition.cnn.com/2013/10/18/us...html?hpt=us_c2

"The New Jersey Supreme Court on Friday denied the state's request to temporarily prevent same-sex marriages, clearing the way for same-sex couples to marry in the state starting Monday."

Awesome.

Nice. Heard somewhere that michigan might join soon too

There is still so much work to be done to achieve full legal and social equality, but it really is quite amazing to see how quickly progress has been made... Sodomy laws were struck down less than 15 years ago, and now we've gotten to the point where the majority of Americans live in states where gay people can get married. Pretty cool.

This isn't true. With NJ the total who may be married is now at 100m, usa population is like 330m. Getting there though!