Yeah, so... I don't really get rattled at the table anymore. I don't mind at all when I am underestimated or made fun of because I am a woman at the table. Petty things really don't get to me that much like they did when I was starting, but lately I have really been shocked at the behavior of some men when they get out played or beaten. In the last week, I was berated for an hour straight in a live home game by a gentleman who couldn't stand the fact that a woman was beating him in a poker game. Now granted, some of these beats involved me calling some of his ridiculous pot sized bluffs on the river with ace high or small pocket pairs, but regardless of how I beat him... it had nothing to do with the fact that I am female. So, on a low level it got to me, but I brushed it off.

In the last week on pokerstars however, I have been a bit more than angry. In a span of 5 minutes I was called a "whore" two times by two separate players at two different tables. In both situations I had the better hand preflop and post flop. I outplayed both gentlemen, but because I am a lady and I play cards... I'm a whore. Honestly, that situation was slightly comical considering the circumstances, but todays instance was not funny at all.

I had entered a freeroll on stars knocked a player out who shoved all in with 5 2 offsuit and he proceeded to tell me that he hopes I enjoy ovarian cancer. Seriously? Maybe I'm going over board, but that comment crosses the line from childish to just wrong.

Are any other females feeling like this or being treated like this?

They wouldn't say 'hope you get ovarian cancer' to your face so it shouldn't matter. They're just 'internet warriors'. Brush it off.

seems like petty thing do still get to you. you should see some of the stuff pro keyboard warriors say

still f'd up imo...anyone that says that has no manners.

if you cant take the heat...

Dear CAisaiah5710:

Let me address this from a male perspective. The kind of behavior you describe - especially the vile reference wishing you ovarian cancer - is sickening. I suspect (strongly) that if a male opponent made a statement like that directed against another male opponent's wife or daughter, there would likely be a violent altercation. I'm from the South where that kind of outburst is really frowned upon. It's unbelievable (and shocking) that there are still members of my gender who act like Neanderthals.

I recall reading an article or an interview with Linda Johnson, the "First Lady of Poker," who described what it was like when she decided to leave her job at the Post Office back in 1980 and turn pro. It was really tough (for women) back then. I had hoped that surely things have improved some (for women) since then, but what you recently experienced is disheartening. The only "good thing" I can see from the episodes you describe is the fact that you got his money. (Good for you on that score!) All things considered, you handled yourself with amazing aplomb and discipline and resisted the temptation to get into a pissing contest with this moron. (I can see why you are a winning player. You don't let "things," such as severe provocation, rattle you. Maybe you will be the first woman player to win the WSOP Main Event!)

As for what can be done to combat (and/or punish) this kind of ungentlemanly behavior, if I'm playing at a live table and some jerk says something like that to a lady player, I'm immediately calling the floor and demanding that the idiot be ejected from the game and escorted - by force if necessary - out of the room. That kind of talk and behavior - from a player of either gender - is not good for poker. That kind of behavior should not be excused by anybody - it hurts the game and it hurts all of us who love the game. As players, we need to make clear to the folks who run the games that players, especially male players, who say that kind of stuff to ladies are not welcome.

There are "other things" that can be done to discourage rude behavior at the poker table. I was once playing a tournament in Tunica where a slightly intoxicated male player got out of hand and began spewing a stream of invective - most of it directed toward the defenseless female dealer. I raised my voice, making sure that the whole table could hear me, reached in my wallet, pulled out a hundred dollar bill and declared "Whoever busts this guy gets this Franklin." It took a second for it to register with this guy that he was acting like a jerk, but he calmed down pretty quick - and I did pay the bounty when he shortly thereafter busted out.

Former DJ

Next time it happens, just write *Blows kiss to the rail*

A live comment that's right in your face is one thing, but I don't know why anyone gets bent out of shape over something said in the chat box at the online tables. This isn't a male/female issue. I have had my fair share of outbursts directed at me in the chat box. I'm a man and I have been told to "get cancer and die", plus many other comments. I mean who cares! It's not personal, they don't even know you. I basically laugh to myself and ignore it. Live is different though.

Block chat, keep pwning the 'tards. GG.

It's bad craic but micro donks get offended by 'Lol donkaments' so **** 'em.

Was definitely coming into this thread to ban the OP.

if you can't take the comments block player chat and wear headphones live

thing is no matter if these males get beaten by a girl or guy, it's their dream that's crushed.. I know it's frustrating but it's their own insecurity that makes them go below the belt, not you but needed a reason to express that so they picked the weakest prey to try and feel like they've won something. It's like drug really to feel like a winner no matter who you hurt.
My advice is to forgive them.

I'll add a little quote
"Nothing is so common as the wish to be remarkable." Wiliam Shakespeare

That was my thought when I read the title this morning.

Of course it is immature and very rude when people are nasty in chat. As poker players though it is our job to get to the point that this doesn't bother us. Perhaps this is one part about poker that is slightly harder on women, and another stumbling block to getting more women at the tables.

The solution I think is to get more confidence in your play, because being berated in chat amuses me now. And I wouldn't fight fire with fire against the jerk, because the bottom line is that if they do not understand my play then they are likely a weaker player and therefore someone I want to be playing against. So seeing them berate me also gives me free info.

Like others have said though, if you are still bothered by the chat, then turn it off as a lot of players do.

Yeah, generally I find it hilarious when someone wishes cancer on me, because at that point I'm usually running really well. However, if someone in my family were battling cancer at the time, I'd probably be pretty annoyed.

People who say that stuff are mostly immature, moronic, and flat out losers. I hope you wouldn't let it get to you. I hardly even read the chat anymore because of people like that.

I think, by a vast majority, women are not used to what men say to each other in a mean way. We're very used to it because men break each other's balls all the time. It's fun. We all do it. Some people like it, some people do it, but most men are used to being verbally attacked.

Now, the cancer thing isn't really funny to me, but it's not even that bad. Saying something bad about someone's wife or kid that is known information is out of bounds in my book, but really everything else is pretty normal. Racial slurs, verbally attacking someone's mother, all that is par for the course.

Just make fun of his penis. He'll stop.

This thread made me realize I might be having cancer wished on me all day errrday and never know it. Multitabling ftw, lol.

Lol-- likely the same for me.

Yea, for the record, anyone wanting to talk to any of us online grinders (hate that word...can we be grindettes? ), search for us first and see how many tables we are playing on both stars and ftp. That will probably explain why we are not answering you in the chat

fwiw back when I could get a lot of hu games, I had cancer wished upon me quite regularly.

I hope you don't get cancer.

(that should cancel out one)

Yay! Thanks! I didn't just go runner runner flush on you after c/r the flop with air though.

IMO, this is the problem with children playing in the anonymity of the internet, thinking that it's "cool" to be a complete dbag.

Alternatively, it could be someone who is technically an adult, but with the emotional maturity of a pea, who is trying to "get you back" for making him mad. And if that's the case, well, he's got some serious problems, and you can laugh at him/feel bad for him since his life is probably pretty sad.

For players in general, I usually go off when they make stupid -EV moves. I have been known to go after the player, their loved ones, their family, even their heritage (especially if they are German). Its not because I TRULY believe they deserve it though. Online I know I will never see them and its just entertaining to hear people defend -EV plays or go after me and try to defend themselves.

Live, I still get pissed and rattled. The thing I have found that has kept me from blowing up at players / dealing with them blowing up on me is to boil down the math on the hand and figure out if i had the right price and outs and if it was a +EV play.

And overall, some of the arguments/verbal assaults are pretty awesome. I FRAMED a copy of a chat ban e-mail from Pokerstars because of what I said. Apparently telling someone I am going to 'ride their sister like a cheap tricycle' is grounds for a chat ban.