Andddddddddd we're back.

Last night I studied the first preflop video in RYE and did over 6 pages of notes. I am limiting my schedule for these next 4 days (counting yesterday) where I'll play 4 tables max online and the homegame on my phone. This'll let me implement some of the things I'm learning and containing complete table awareness.

The leaderboard started for the home game MTT, $5k prize up top. Every day besides Saturday runs a tournament, Sunday has two one being $55 and another $22. Day 1 was yesterday, and I chopped it HU for even money but took 2nd in regards to points. $360 for a $22 MTT home game. 45 entries with 79 total including rebuys. Pretty sick.

Probably the softest MTT around, and now with a leaderboard.. it makes it stupid to not grind every day.. so I will be doing that.

I found a backer for the home game MTT specifically, two bullets day. MU rolls over, profit splits on Sunday 50/50 he pays full entry. In the event that he wants to discontinue backing me in this, I will NOT have to pay any remaining make up.

Pretty sick deal, and had to take it. I actually thought about saying no, but because its zero risk for me, allows me to fire an extra bullet (even in the $55 on Sundays...) I couldn't pass it up.

I made a tracking sheet for that, which I can share if people have interest after the first 30 days.

Today I will only be playing the home game, I will be grinding ALL Saturday though (including post flop introduction on RYE). I HAVE to study before I fire a session online, its my new rule.

Plan for weekend:
Friday - Home game only (dog sitting).
Saturday - Morning study/b-fast with gf -> Poker all day online BOL/WPN
Sunday - Home game double grind, MTT's online.

I will do post flop work on Saturday/Sunday mornings. Monday I will review all notes 5x+ times to make sure I'm continuing to implement things.

4 table max + ranges up + home game until I feel comfortable increasing.

subbed in, gl

@AK , i would use AK as turn/river bluff there if I opted to flat for some reason,but shoving pre is pretty good and standard with that btn vs sb vs bb dynamic and stacksizes

@friend@wsop i believe your hands are tied for most of the way. he can say that he dont have receipts and thats all she wrote. next time agree about updating before backing somebody.

fellow Seattle grinder here. Subbed, good luck w/ the grind.

Nope not in the slightest. This is a business transaction in which he doesn't seem to have handled it professionally. I'd actually ask for a refund for anything not yet played. Lack of updates is pretty annoying iyam.

Yeah pretty meh situation. Yeah AK was a tough spot for me because of ICM, but I think it was OKAY the way I played it.. obv could of ripped in pre but 2/12 with him being 1/12 just felt meh. Really appreciate your comment man.

Thanks bro!

Yeah, crappy thing is he is a friend. It is what it is though.



Overall update for the weekend:
Pretty meh. I had some deep runs, some FT's but no golds and pretty sure weekend was nearly break even. Had some run bad in the home games as well.. but I do have a full backer for those so that's always nice. I'd love to get up there on points though. Currently 6th.

I had a deep run in the $150k on WPN, but 112 left and short stack rips in 8bb, MP reshoves and I'm in BU with 14bb with QQ.. we call. Vs AK Vs QJ and K on the flop. Oh well.

Again, this week my focus will be on a small amount of tables and complete focus. I'm excited about the jump in RYE Post Flop material and mentally preparing myself for my first live tournament in forever @ the Wynn next weekend. One day of poker the GF is allowing.. lets just win the $200k eh?

I'll post a graph in a week of my results since the tournaments have started. Nothing substantial besides that 2nd for $1250 and a few smaller tournaments.


I really appreciate all the comments (I was shocked to see 3-4 in a row lol).

Today is all studying + 1-3 MTT's while I'm at work and more when I'm home.

One month left of work! WOOHO.

Sup everyone.

Another meh day.

Took 2nd in a $5.50 FO on BOL for $45 or so.
Cashed the $20k on WPN
Cashed a few small ones.

Overall, down a little on the day.
Bricked two bullets in the $22 home game as well.. so that really sucks. Falling behind in points.. been running into AA or getting drawn out on.. oh well.

Today I'm going to put an emphasis on studying. Hopefully I can finish the 3bet video + start one or both of the post flop IP 40+bb videos.

Will probably fire a few MTT"s tonight but won't go over 4 tables at all.. which I've been breaking every night as well lol.

This time of the year is weird for me man.. every year.

A little backstory:

Around this time last year, I got sick of Poker. I was dealing with anxiety related to poker and it really stressed me out, I think more because I was worried about my "window" of being in my "poker prime" was passing and my results just weren't formulating. I took a 3 month+ break and came back eventually. I just didn't want to play.. but after a short time I really wanted to hop back on. I wasn't stressed because I was losing money or whatever, but I was just break even and nothing was happening.. any deep run in any substantial MTT would fall apart late and I'd be pretty devastated.

I'm in a similar situation this year..

I'm stressed. I'm frustrated. I feel like the Poker gods hate me. Not because anything specific but because my lack of improvement.. my lack of "drive" regarding Poker and such.

I've wanted this for so long and the freedom around Poker, but maybe I need to consider giving it up. Weird for me to say that, but what % of American MTT grinders can do it full-time and live a fulfilled life? Not a very high %.

It's crazy how simple one flip can change my entire outlook. Say I win that huge AA vs JTo preflop shove by SB and he doesn't flop top two in the $150k. I probably scoop up $10k+ in EV and my entire life changes.. but it didn't so I'm back to praying I make a run like that again and I hold.

Struggling mentally, struggling with my direction as well. I hate my job, but I need it to pay my bills and feel "worthy". My passions are gaming of any sorts, and freedom is important to me but it's just not realistic.. and that upsets me.

This is more of a rant and maybe I'll feel completely different tomorrow but I'm starting to think more deeply about my passion and if Poker is even worth it for me anymore and that is something I've never considered. I've been winning more consistently in my career, but the losses still devastate me. I lack concentration during my sessions, constantly finding a YT video to watch because I have the mindset that I'm either going to win my flips or not so why does it matter if I'm not focused?

Obviously dealing with heavy amounts of mental leaks but its not related to losing, just about lack of improvement or those "big" life changing scores and that is upsetting and scary to me in a sense. Financially, I'm better than I have ever been and partly due to my poker success recently.. but I'm still feeling really empty.

Scary, eh.

I would say to really ask yourself on your overall motivation for poker- are you playing it for the money? Because you love it? Or is it just something that you're doing as a filler in between jobs?

If the answer is that you're getting bored with it or that your passion is waning, I think you should probably start making steps to do poker as a part time thing- there's nothing wrong with that and, in a way, I think it's better than playing full time. Just accepting that fact and moving forward with playing part time is something that might be needed.

If you do want to play full time, I think that you should really go for it- don't half ass it and just assume something is going to change without you changing your routine. When people are playing full time, they treat it like a job- study their asses off and play very long hours. I know some guys that literally just sim stuff all day long in PIO/monk solver and then play the other 6-8 hours a day. Some do it because they really love it; some do it because they have to. But if you are going to go for it, try to strap down and really work for it (and if you're still working your real job, you need to just study poker and really work on your down time).

This is really the answer and it's something I've only recently realized

This is exactly what I needed. I appreciate it a lot Orange. You know I have a lot of respect for you, so this really meant a lot to me.

Going to take a day off and really just focus on me and think about my path moving forward.

Thanks!

As someone who struggled in poker for quite some time before getting to where I am now (playing for a living), I thought I could give some of my insight into what changed in my life for me to be able to make the leap.

I would say for a long time I was very bad reg, making a small amount online but nowhere near enough to be able to make a living (especially in London), I was lazy, overconfident and didn't want to take any accountability for my actions, alongside that I always found excuses and complained excessively about how I ran.

Over the space of a few days I looked back at my life and realised I had blown many an opportunity not just in poker but also in school/early childhood from just not trying hard enough. I realised at the time that I didn't want to do anything else except poker and I did something I've never done in my life before, I actually worked hard. I lived and breathed poker, I didn't listen to people telling me to have a day off, I didn't surround myself with people who felt sorry for themselves, I surrounded myself with the right kind of people who were willing to give me good advice even it was stern and upfront (the best friends you can have in life do this, they don't sugarcoat to protect your feelings). I stopped punting 3 hours a day on youtube, I didn't watch a TV show for about five months straight, my life became poker. Surprise surprise things started falling into place and I had "top reg" results for the stake I was playing. I managed to save a lot of money alongside making some great friends.

My advice would be similar to both of the above, give it some thought if you really want to do it, or if you just like the idea of it. Having passion for something vs just wanting the spoils at the end of the journey are very different things. If you still want to go for it dig deeper than you have before and don't find excuses as to why things aren't going well, hold yourself accountable at every hurdle.

Best of luck

A really great post Labax, thank you.

This is what I've needed and I think the honest truth is I wasn't working as hard as I thought I was, and to be honest I was hardly working on things at all. I'm in need of a routine change and it's time I start to actually make those changes and put my foot down and go after something. I talk a big game that I work my ass off, and I'm a passionate person but when the conversation ends, I really don't work at all. I need to make changes in not only my work ethic but the way I approach poker in general.

I appreciate your response a lot man, and I relate to you in a lot of ways that you mentioned with school etc.

Appreciate it a lot.