I have over 11000 views in just over a month. Surely some of you people out there want to ask me some questions. Ask away!

The other day I was talking to the guy beside me about a hand and told him I almost never bluff. I told him people never fold to me so I just pour money into the pot with my good hands and collect my money.

30 mins later we are in a hand together. I had the nuts on the river and fired a big bet. As he was thinking I said "remember what I said about bluffing?" He called anyway. You gotta love poker.

My back has really been acting up. My solution? Have a few drinks!! Anyone had a Cremesicle? Whipped creme Vodka, Triple Sec and Orange Juice. It tastes just like an Orange Julius. Not sure if any of you are old enough to know what that is though

Lets see whats going thru my drunk mind right now.

1) Today a 300 pound Venezuelan woman 2 seats to my right told me I had nice hair.

2) We are moving to a new house this weekend. I had a U-Haul reserved and several people coming to help us move on Sunday...then I found out the HOA doesnt allow commercial trucks in the neighborhood on Sundays. **** You HOA. ****ing Nazis!

3) DirecTV has the worst customer service people on earth. They scheduled my installation at the new house on the wrong day and at the wrong address.

4) My wife rocks! I packed a few boxes here and there and she did the rest. She's a Hispanic goddess.

5) I really hate winky51's screen name

6) Time for another Cremesicle !

Dude you have like 3 of my top 5 life tilt inducing bs in there

1) HOAs
2) moving
3) Cable companies

I did everything I could to break hoa rules at all times when we lived in a strict community. It gave me such huge satisfaction.

What about 300 pound Venezuelan women? That doesnt tilt you to know she wasted her god given Venezuelan beauty by eating everything in sight?

I'm back from Dallas ironically on the 19th so there is a non-zero chance I play Thursday night. I'll keep you posted and if we meet I'll buy you one of those diabeetus drinks you're fond of

I have the worst joints on earth. Ive had 4 surgeries in my life and probably need 2 more right now. Ive had all kinds of other tendinitis issues and things like that from playing sports my whole life.

Having said that, my immune system and the health of my innards is top notch. I laugh in the face of diabetes!

I hate my name also. Did it years ago.

Wish I could rename it

Im getting ready to move tomorrow but I had time to squeeze in a short session this afternoon. The three 2/5 tables looked pretty bad. I sat down at one of them and kept my eye on the one nearby. I was down $50 when I saw one of my favorite whale go to the tabe near me so I put in for a table change. I got called a few mins later. This is literally the 1st hand at the new table.

1) My female whale opens to $15 in MP. Im on her left and call KsTs. We are HU
Flop ($35) 8s8h3s. She bets $25. I min raise to $50. She beats me into the pot.
Turn ($135) 4s. She checks. I bet $85. She calls.
River ($305) 2c. She check/calls $200 and mucks.

I soon saw that this table was full of fish so I started playing more hands.

2) Female whale limps UTG. I limp Ah4h UTG+1. We end up going 5 to the flop
Flop ($25) As4d7d. Whale bets $15. I call. Clearly I can (maybe should) raise here but I decide to call and see what develops. MP calls and LP calls.
Turn ($85) Ad. Perfect card for me. UTG checks. I check thinking someone has to have a flush. MP bets $15. LP calls. UTG calls. I cr to $75 and they all fold. These fish arent folding a flush to me so I cant imagine what they could have.

3) I changed seats a bit later. Same female whale limps UTG. Next guy raises to $20. Im in LP and call As3s. Another fish calls in the BB. I can remember the last time there were 5 blatant fish at my table. UTG calls also
Flop ($80) Qd3c3h. Checks to me. Blah. I check back.
Turn ($80) Ac. Now thats an interesting card....but it checks to me again. Sheesh! I bet $25 and get 2 calls.
River ($155) 9d. I was really hoping for a club. They check to me. I cant imagine they are calling much so I bombed the river for $155. I think my overall line looks pretty fishy but nobody bit.

4) EP limps. I raise to $25 in LP with 7c6c. Button fish and the limper call. There actually 3-4 decent players at this table but I didnt play any hands with them.

Flop ($80) 4c3d3h. EP checks. I bet $40. Button calls HU
Turn ($160) 7s. I bet $80 and he folded.

5) 2 EP limps. I raise to $35 AcQs. LP and both limpers call. Again, these are all fish.
Flop ($145) As9s3s. They check to me. I bet $85. LP and first limper call
Turn ($400) 7c. EP checks.

EP has $225 left
LP has $350ish left
I cover.

Id love to hear comments on this one. I bombed away and shoved the turn. I'm really not sure If I want to bet smaller hoping the Ks calls or maybe AxXs calls? I felt like the shorter stacked guy in EP was going to call with either of those hands. But they both folded.

I won $750 in 2 hours and headed back to the house to take my wife out to dinner since the kitchen is packed up. Ill be taking the next 2 days off while moving.

Since returning to 2/5 on June 21, Ive played 108 hours at $71.25/hr and I lost the $700 playing the short stacked 5/10 game.

Hand #1 fine
Hand #2 I'd raise the flop with so many behind. Any ace has outs, and 2 draws. Turn seems fine since these guys can't fold. You could also lead.
Hand #3 Your bet is right out of the books and technically correct. I would tend to bet tiny here. No one has **** and you don't have to balance vs a bunch of unknown fish. A weak ace folds to a large bet from what I have seen. So you want that call. Not many 3s left. In fact more Ax than 3x hands left.
Hand #4 good
Hand #5 I would check the turn. I'd lean on checking turn between the 2 calling. Usually one has Ks the other the flush already... or flush + a hand like AxJs... or least likely KsTx+ and AxTs+. The latter are far less because you have 2 paint, there is a paint on the board and for both of them to have 2 paint makes this very few outs. I want someone to chase but you blew them off the pot and sets are never folding. If you had no spade in this spot I'd bet perhaps $110 to get Ax to call and to induce shorty to XRAI with Ks or some AxXs but fold if the larger stack shoves. Just because you are getting X:1 on a call from the large stack doesn't mean you have to call live. His whole XRAI range is not 20% bluffs or semi-bluffs. Especially if he is passive and sees a $350 XRAI as a big bet.

So I got moved to our new house on Sat. Of course there is days of unpacking and arranging stuff, hanging pictures ad things like that to come, but I was able to sneak away for a short session on Sunday.

The very first hand I was dealt in Im UTG+1 and get AdAh. There was some pretty good action on the hand I saw as I was sitting so I assume its an action table. UTG limps. I limp. MP ($230) raises to $20. SB calls and it folds to me. I make it $85. MP calls and SB folds.

Flop ($200) JdTdJs. I bet $115 but villain was on the other end of the table and honestly I didnt see his stack size and didnt realize he was this short until he pushed all in and it was only another $30 to me. I call and villain says "am I drawing dead?" Uh, no I dont have JJ. I tabled and he mucked and left.

The table turned out to be very aggro. There were straddles and raises almost every hand and I was getting a bunch of KT and AJ type hands. Hands you want to play but cant really when the table is aggro. I changed tables and played for about 2 hrs total and ended with a $200 win.

I went home to find out I was locked out of the house. I sat outside in the car for about 30 minutes before getting in touch with the rel estate agent who gave me the garage code. 30 minutes after getting back in the house I realized I had both garage door openers in my glove compartment. Oh, the joys of moving.

I played in the evening yesterday. The players in the evening are so bad compared to what Im used to during the day its hard to fathom. Its donktastic. Im not sure its as much fun though because I have to tighten up. These people dont fold.

Here are the first 2 hands I played within the first 15 mins.

1) I open to $25 UTG [Kc][Ks]. MP ($350) is a black female is a total fish. The type that when you see hear at another table, you put in for a transfer. The SB ($375) also calls.

Ive never seen the SB before but the hand just before this one he limp/called $25 with [Ad][Jh]. He led $40 into a $100 pot on an all club flop.

Flop ($80) Tc7c4d. SB checks. I bet $50. MP calls. SB min check raises to $100. We both call.
Turn ($380) 9h. SB bets $100. I shove. MP folds. SB says "this is a bad call" and calls anyway. River is a brick and he mucks.

2) I fold the next orbit and then get AA in the BB. 3 limps. SB who is a very strong player raises to $35. I make it $110. It folds back to the SB who instashoves $500. I call.
Flop is KKx and he has AK. FML.

I ended the 4 hour session up $40.

Brutal last hand

Looks like a pretty normal ho-hum hand to me.

There's no way your hourly is good over a real sample (2k+ hours) because your lines are so bad. Passive weak crap and button clicking like min raising a flush draw.

Yeah, Ive been posting on 2+2 for almost a year now making **** up about my win rate just to impress a bunch of random people I will never meet because I have no life. Makes sense.

I love it when people say something wont work when it works for me constantly. Have you tried min raising a flush draw? Do it 10 times and I bet you get a free river card 8-9 times.

I will be at Hard Rock Tampa tonight after dinner to check out the new room. If there are any Tampa players who want to meet, send me a PM.

It's not like you would be the first prominent poster on twoplustwo to do this.

Seriously? Someone has done that? Why the hell for?

I assume it would be to sell tourney packages or get cash game staking.

Sent from my XT1635-02 using Tapatalk

Tampa Trip report

My wife and I are in Tampa right now. Today is our anniversary. Im also here to catch a couple baseball games and do some sight seeing. I lived most of my adult life in the Dallas area and Im a big Texas Ranger fan. They happen to be in Tampa this weekend which is why we picked Tampa for a long weekend anniversary getaway.

I dont have much time for poker but I did want to check out the new poker room at the Hard Rock. I had only been to the old Hard Rock room once and I wasnt impressed at all. To be honest, I wasn't impressed by the new one either. Its shiny and new of course, but it seems soulless to me. Its just a big rectangular room with 4 rows of 11 tables each. For me, the tables are too close to each other. It was very loud and impersonal. The lighting was atrocious in some spots. I seriously could barely see my cards at the 2nd table I played at. There are shadows everywhere on the table from not having enough lighting coming from different directions.

I started at a table where DeathCabForTootie was playing. We met and got to talk for a couple mins. He seemed like a nice guy. That table was pretty bad so Im moved quickly. When I talked to him later he said the action was really good after I left.

My new table was the most nit filled table I have seen in a while. These guys were just not going to put any chips into the pot. Normally I would run a table like that over but I was big time card dead. I literally played 4 hands in the 2 1/2 hrs I was at the HR, which obviously made my time there less than memorable. There were 2 guys at this table from Maryland bitching about about how bad this game was and how good the games in Maryland are. I'll be at the MGM National Harbor for 3-4 days in Aug so Im looking forward to that.

Lastly, I put my name on a table transfer list toward the end of my session. They literally called 20+ names for 2/5 without calling me for a transfer. I finally got fed up with my table and cashed out and just as I got my cash, they called me for my transfer. SMH. No offense to the people who live in Tampa, because this is the main room that is available to them, but I think most people who have played poker in other rooms around the country would agree that this place kinda sucks.

FWIW i never understood all the good reports that came out of there bc that room was the single most tilt-inducing room Ive ever played in (because of the lack of organization as you describe...I was skipped soooooo many times) and the second tightest room in FL (after isle)

I have been wanting to make a trip over there just to check it out though. Is the smoking better? (Last room even though it was down a hall it would still drift in)

And are there regular 5/10+ games to your knowledge? I havent kept up with bravo on the weekends.

I think the entire casino is smoke free. There was def no smoke at all in the poker room. In all fairness, I forget to mention that the chairs in this new room are super comfortable.

They did have a 5/10 game going when I was there (7:30p-10P on a Thur)

To live the fantasy of being a crushing player on these forums. I believe the perks include lots of fanboys that will constantly kiss your ass and tell you how great you are...oh and staking obviously.

Hmmm, well I constantly get told how bad I suck and I dont need staking so I guess Im on the other side of the spectrum.