ty for your posts guys, any type of feedbacks mean a lot to me in these dark circumstances

1. +
2 NEIN ( i loled when i saw what i wrote here, little upswing made me think unreallisticly )
3. NEIN - made 1
4. +
5. +


i wasnt updating thread since there wasnt a lot to talk about.



ev bb/100 game still strong AF but no money yet



when avg stacks are less than 400bbs ( bb500 stars bb2k wmx ) im 7-8bb/100 and redline going skyup so i believe in what i am doing is crushing altough it wont let me finish a thing, but that gotta change soon.


will continue to rape and to expect 1561361393561959159329k month in near future

last month i had few monster sessions with a lot of semis but couldnt make it. last session i've finished 9th in big22 for 400 with 7k up top, i cant remember when i was more card dead. was picking up small pots from BB, 3betting light etc but just J3o T4o all the time from other positions was too much to bare, 33<AK for 9th and i was so annoyed by that timbey since it is much valuable for whole year in $ terms to bink those when u get deepruns but im no luckbox and i would need to grind it up.

---

im currently in belgrade, playing danube poker masters (500e bi, 20-30k for 1st ). i've played day 1a and managed to get pretty cool 100bb stack for day2 in very soft field. a lot of isreali guys are there for the series and they're spewy/not know the rules. i played really solid altough i was very lucky with tabledraw. 1 good reg from serbia and 1 bad live reg and 5-7 fishy guys whole day.

few interesting hands:

limp limp limp, i iso AKo 5x on bb500, cold call, all limpers call (that's the way it rolled)
flop is A24ss, i cbet 4k, fish shoves 20k, comes back to me i snap call, he has AxQs , turn Ks river Xs. FML for heaps.

next hand, that good reg opens 2.5x , ubermegabiggestfishever flats from CO, i complete from SB thinking that i have J9ss.
flop is T86rb , reg cbet 4k(50%), fish calls, i call ( i sit on 26k, reg 35 fish 80k ). turn is 8 that gives me FD (as i thought), i look at my cards i have J9o, and im already steaming bcs of last AK vs AQ hand so plan was to x shove if reg continues and get reentry (only tilty play that i planned to make whole day which is great actully since its only that 1 ). it goes check check check. river is 3 so the board is T8683sss ( i have Js ). action on me, im thinking no way fish would check back the 8 ott, and the reg is on Tx/giveup in 100%. with blink of an eye i also saw fish removing card protector from his cards when river came ( when he was doing that he was always giving up ) so i decide to jam shove with around 1.2 spr. reg tanks for 3 minutes and folds, fish snapfolds. reg says i would call u if i were last to act, obv u werent, nh me

im back to 30k, its bb500. few hands go on and ubermegafish opens 5x ( he was playing 80 4 3b 0 and when he opens HE NEVER FOLDS, i knew that since i was sitting with him in few occasions) , i look at my cards - AA. thinking what to do, i decide to shove since i really believe in my read that he wont fold ever and i dont wanna 3bet and he miss the flop and i loose that action. i shove 60bb fish snapcalls with AQdd. flop is 357dd and im like NO WAAAAAAY (((((( but turn and river bricks and im on 60k stack.

after that i went on NONSD rampage picked up gazzillion small pots and built up to 100k. playing day 2 tommorow, i feel im in A zone, i dont hope to win or anything i ll just go there and play hand by hand and hopefully reward will come.

will write some goals when i comeback to my hometown and get back in the online mix. gl guys and cheeeeers

GL with danube.
Had I known id ask to for a piece.

baaah, finished 15th for about 1.5k with 25k up top :/

another fml timbey.

came there with 100bb, got drawed with 8 israeli spewers, cool, it looked this way for first 3 hours : carddead, i open ATo, guy that never 3bets 3bets obv and i fold and he shows AK. i open AJo guy n2 that never 3bets 3bets obv and i fold and he shows AK. that happend one more time with guy n3. whatever, break comes and i get reaseted.

next table - 1 okay reg and pbb best serbian live reg imho and 6 fishes. i have 80k on bb2k, we battle here and there and then i get dealt QhQx on utg 7handed. i open to 5.1k, ok reg flats, fish flats with 50k from btn. board is 972hh. i decide to check/decide since i dont see many merits in cbetting + i wanna have my x range strong vs regs blablababla, i check, reg bets 14k fish shoves 50k, i reshove 80k, reg tanks a lil bit and calls. reg is A9hh, fish 89dd, we manage to survive and go to 240k.

next couple of hours im picking up small pots / get AA once and pickup fish with 6bb, i have 260k or smt and this hand happens

bb3k, i open 77 to 7.2k , sb (gooood reg) flats with around 190k stack with whale in the bb, bb completes. 567dd, lovely. i cbet 14k, sb flats bb folds. turn is Qc, reg leads for 22k i call, river is Ks he bets 40ishk i just call since he obv can have 89 in this spot and he turns queens :/

bb4k i have around 110k, decide to limp 88 utg since one of the two regs is shorty with 35k, he shoves, fish with heaps flats... i tank a lil bit and shove and he sigh folds A9o, reg turns A4s and i manage to win cool pot. aaaand thats about it. constantly missing flops when i defend/open and boards were giving me huge range disadvantage vs villains in ANY SPOTS. w/e

finished 99 < AQ vs that good reg... no sunrun yet but my head is up and confidence high and who cares for results cheers

aaand we have day2 of the highroller with 13ppl left, 91k on bb1.2k and still pretty soft field with couple regs. 15k up top but it was small field so its guuuut.

gogogogogo

naaah, out 11th. im in 45eu profits for danube which means that i had hourly of fiat worker so thats good (NOT)

lost my stack like this:

hj limp (semifish type of guy) 1600, i iso A9o from btn to 5100, call.
TT3hh, i cbet 2800 he calls. turn is 7, he leads for 4.5k (into 19k pot), i call. river is Js and he bets 10k. im thinking, i block T9 and A9 (i saw him limp call suited aces), unblock hearts and Jx type of hands which he might lead and then kind of valuebet otr - i raise to 28k and he snap calls QTo... i have JJ TJ AT 33 77 in this spot so i dont mind my play at all and would do it again.

after that i 4b shoved A5s with 35bbs vs very good reg hj vs btn type of spot where he would pressure me a lot and got into KK.

now talking with 2 friends i see that i was in so fked up mindset today and that i totally missplayed those 2 hands:

1. A9o, why even call turn vs fish
2. A5s, why would reg 3bet potentially tilted reg + he's on the btn with fish behind him

crazy leveling went on. i was completly out of my comfort zone obv, not certain why.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LkB63hetgIw

https://www.boomplayer.com/26155991_C121B98305

La la la....

#pokerisdead

Dont beat yourself up about it. I used to see/still sometimes do some meta/leveling/whatnot when there is not any at all.
Cost myself too many deep runs just because I thought someone was trying
to run me over when in fact they always had it.
As long as u learn from it its a very cheap but very valuable lesson.

Hang in!

it really seems to me it's just getting crazier and crazier altough NO MONEZ for me


it costed myself too much also but i kept (still do obv) getting better in recognizing when somebody can be OOL, and what bothered me most is that i was playing with that guy 7 hours+ and man he never went OOL. he was really weak player but not standard fish who tilted when he had to fold QQ in postflop and when somebody got trips vs him etc, really really straightforward guy who is playing 1k tournament underrolled, lets say with 18 12 stats. i had really decent reads on him tellwise/gamewise and my brain went bananans in the hand and i totally IGNORED all of that and thought about blockers and whatnot in spot where he simply doesnt bluff EVER.

i played A game in every single spot of danube series and it worked out pretty decent altough run was indeed fooked up. i mean, i didnt give a f about run, was really proud with my game in terms of playing with 5bb 15bb 20bb 35bb and 150bb stacks as best as i know, had maybe one tilty moment in first phases which was great improvement since tilt have costed me a lot in the past. i had premium hand twice (+2 AKs when all folded) in 40h+ and still managed to apply pressure when they're weak, read the game pretty good, had cool gametheorywise-ool barrels/3bets based on live read that worked out, confidence skyup etc.

but i've managed to identify the problem. every day i went into the casino to DO MY JOB, but that last day i went to have a drink, chat, CLICKBUTTONS and have fun, altough i was completly unaware of it in the time of playing. i was in really poor mindset.

funny thing was that i was really believing that i was doing right plays as posts here suggest + i posted hands in my MTT stable and was pretty bumptious / conceited about them at first, like not accepting what 5 ppl are telling me. i have one guy that i made a decent micro mtt winner/worked with him for 1 year constantly on his game telling me DUDEEE U JUST LEVELED YOURSELF WITH A FISH and i told him smt in the lines of 'fook off what do u know' which is the way of thinking that i really hate,i apologised later. my backer then came and told '' I just dont see how one can think that his edge is to bluff a fish of the trips '' which was pretty strong wakeup call.

he was okay with what i did in terms of failing to recognize it since he has a lot more expirence than me and those things CAN happen to anyone. conversation really helped me, especially his line '' SLAP IN THE FACE IS ALWAYS BEST FOR THE WAKEUP ''. so altough that i spewed it ive learned a great lesson here and cant wait to get back in the live ring since man its so fooking soft its kind of ridiculous. even those 'good' players make some mistakes that they dont make online and it's really easy to build up stack when blinds go up and stacks are shallower.

bonus material

Donating to fishes with smile since 1991st:


---------------

i was playing an online session last night and it was absurd. no stacks were made and had only one deeprun on WMX with 3k up top in which i also runned like sheit. was CL 40 left, then went on crazy cardead. then when i had 35bbs and 4 aggro regs behind me they managed to 3bet me when i was opening bottom of my range and everyone managed to fold when i had the goods. got out 19th in 50bb spot where i had 89s on 893 and guy had QQ, Q on the river GG.

i ll maybe play tonight, maybe will relax and try to bink smt on sunday. ty for reading and gl

also, i will try to smoke less during the sessions in december ( half cig trough the break ) and then try to completly stop at one point when i make few days break from grinding since really it doesnt make any sense anymore to keep smoking health/money/stinky-wise

Amen to that!

Gl buddy finish strong!

i am at one not-so-great place mentally atm so i ll keep this brief. i had a plan to type gazzilion paragrahps of crying like a baby and blaming variance and bad luck for an aweful 2017th with few glances on fearing and loathing in hong kong and traveling a little bit here and there.

2017th recap

January :
binked 22k

February-Decembar:
been break even


when i looked at retrospect again i figuered out that crying wont help. facts are that i didnt try anything hard enough. didnt improve my life, went few degrees back as human being, am close to broke. this is an consequence of uber unhealthy lifestyle and no money managment at all. and while there were (more than) few flips/hands that couldve changed whole year dramaticly, i dont see any point in blaming anybody(thing) for the place in which i am right now beside ME

the way i live is just not sustainable one, and i am completly aware of that. sometimes is so fuuuking easy to get used to drive with brain being in neutral position, living lazy civil life like im son of a fuuking rockafeller, ordering big pizza and smoking bad weed when i feel bad while ocassionally going out in same clubs with same boring ppl while punting 1.5 avg city salaries on booze and drugs(option), then feeling bad tommorow, ordering same plastic pizza and ... ( u know the drill )

so while i was indeed running bad for the great part of the year, i cant remember one constructive thing that i did in 2017th beside improving in poker. that being said, and me loosing for the most part of the year could mean that im completly delusional about everything said and i accept that as a fair possibility.

but me (not) being delusional about ( some of the ) things is not important at all. important part is to fix what can be fixed, years are running too fast when u pass 20.my judgment is obv clouded with so many filthy habbits and only way to see things clear is to remove the filth. this is my own battle and i wont be tracking public record for anything since i know i ll be fragile. that being said, obv i ll pause this pgc for a while.

i ll post an update when i clear the air (or go completly YOLO). much luv for all who railled my journey here . salute.

I hope everything turns out 4 the best 4 you!

I wish to you health, both mentally and physically and everything else you can do it!!!

Best of luck in 2018!

Me too! You are a smart guy. In the end you wil figure it out.
If u wanna talk about strat or anything feel free to hit me up.

GL!

i've changed my mind, think this is the best way to go:

https://forumserver.twoplustwo.com/1...style-1702377/

If thats a link to a new thread then NICE!!

It doesnt work for me though :/ plz repost the url or whatevah.

Cheers bud!

edited, should work now