About Me

Hello, my name is ShellysAshes. I'm a 27 year old man from Stoke-On-Trent in England.



I enjoy/have interests in; reading books; watching films/TV series/documentaries etc; listening to music (especially listening to LPs); playing the keyboard; cooking; nutrition; meditation; ebay selling; fitness; self-improvement; poker.



I love playing squash. I love my family and I love Stoke City.




Poker Background

First took an interest after being invited to home games whilst working at a bar way back in 2008/2009. Started taking it quite seriously around 2010/2011.



From 2012-2015 my main games were 180s and turbo MTTs. Despite receiving backing and guidance from some very hard-working and talented guys (most are still active and doing well, some still post on this forum, one is a nosebleed MTT reg now) I've never had the discipline to max out and capitalise on whatever potential I possess. I never truly moved beyond the micros and, despite excellent results down there, it's something that I deeply regret because the paths to success have been kindly lit by the torches of others on many occasions. For reasons that I will get into, I just didn't have my **** down and as a result was always unable to take the necessary steps to success.



I've had several threads in this forum in the past and they've always ended abruptly, and mostly in a destructive blaze of failure and negativity.


Why will this thread be different?

I've spent the last two years working low-paid, menial type jobs. I spent well over 6 months in a trophy manufacturer's warehouse, standing in the freezing cold, building 100s of the same trophy (whilst literally being timed for productivity) and getting paid minimum-wage. It was hellish.



Most of last year I was in a 3.5t van doing long-distance delivery driving across Britain. We dealt in laminate flooring. I've travelled to most places on the island and looking back it's an experience I'm grateful for.

I decided to leave that job because the hours were crazy. Even though I was earning more than enough money to live comfortably I wasn't able to live the life I need to be happy.



I could write a decent piece about how not to be a professional poker player based on having made every mistake in the book. It's almost cliche' but the importance of a healthy work/life balance is critical for happiness, not just in poker but in any job. You need to work to support your life but if you don't have your **** down outside of work then your job will suffer, and if you are working too many hours and not living a good life away from your job then you will suffer.

When I was playing as my main source of income I was deeply unhappy. I lived at home still, didn't pursue any meaningful interests in my leisure time and suffered from severe social-anxiety and mental-health issues that negatively impacted on my social-life and my desire to go out and build/strengthen human relationships. My physical health, whilst never terrible, was nowhere near what I wanted it to be. My financial situation was never enough to justify my self-appointed title of "professional poker player".

I had to travel to my brother's house to grind as the internet connection at my mum and dad's was abysmal and this was far from an ideal situation. Coupled with all the other mistakes I made, I was stuck in a perpetual cycle of depression, failing on my short-term goals, more severe depression, feeling pressure to grind to pay for my bills, failing to hit targets, more depression, self-loathing, not pursuing more important interests in life on a consistent basis as I always felt a pressure to grind, etc etc etc. I was in a dark place.




In the last two years however, things have gradually changed for the better.

I moved out of my mum and dad's whilst working in the trophy warehouse and, even though it was a horrible little flat, I started to learn how to look after myself and finally started to feel like an adult for the first time in my life.



I received therapy for my mental-health issues and am currently in the process of being diagnosed for Asperger's Syndrome, which makes a lot of sense looking back even to my early childhood. In a strange way I want that diagnosis to be confirmed as it would provide a huge sense of closure for me.

I've learnt a lot about proper diet, nutrition and exercise and am currently in the best shape of my life. I'm a member of a local squash club and there's a flourishing league structure down there that I absolutely love being a part of. I base my whole fitness around becoming a better squash player and it gives me a huge sense of joy and accomplishment, plus the social aspect of course!



I express my creativity through learning to play the keyboard and I have a few other ideas of areas I'd like to try in the future. At the moment I'm still very much in the beginner stage but I have a genuine dream of being able to create my own electronic album one day. A fairly well known MTT reg impressed on me the importance of creative outlets a few years back and I'm grateful to him for that advice because he is 100% correct. I think he said something along the lines of "many people are depressed because they are creators but don't know it and don't create".



I now live in a really nice little terraced house that I rent from my parents, live a much healthier and happier life than I did a few years back, have much better social relationships and social interactions (greatly reduced anxiety, higher confidence), I'm much better at setting goals and achieving them and most importantly of all I'm slowly but surely learning to love myself.




For all these reasons, I believe I'm finally ready to come back to poker and give it my best.


Why Spins?

The idea of returning to my old habits of grinding from the afternoon to late at night and living nocturnally does not appeal to me whatsoever.

I also don't like the idea of settling down and being locked into 10hr+ grinds with only 5min breaks. You can't really split your sessions if you grind MTT or even MTT-SNGs, it's just not practical.

Spins offer the opportunity to play at all hours of the day, and to break up your sessions into several shorter sessions. This is important for me as poker needs to fit in with the life I'm looking to live. It also offers a truer sense of flexibility.

Obviously spins are an extremely high-variance game but I think that, mentally at least, it's a different type of variance to MTT type variance. I think with spins it's much easier to detatch yourself from the session to session results and focus more on your game and your EV. As someone who was always big on studying and gaining confidence in my game that way, I find this prospect very attractive.

I also like the idea of essentially building up to a point where I know that, if I grind x amount of hours in a month I'll earn roughly x amount in rakeback. The prospect of making a giant sum in a few minutes is always there but the much more realistic prospect of being able to make a fairly accurate estimate of earnings based on time and effort is enticing.


Results So Far

I deposited $600 and have been grinding the $3 games. Started off by running hotter than the sun, including binking two 10x multipliers. (though lost in a 25x)





I believe I've already improved and adjusted to the level. I've bought an ICMizer 2 license and am enjoying studying again for the first time in a few years.


The Purpose of This Thread

I've created this thread for several reasons. Firstly, I'm currently looking to get backing and coaching (there may be developments on this soon) so I'll use this thread as a place to show what I'm about.

I also want to make my poker goals accountable. I probably won't set other goals in this thread as I have all those bases covered already, though I may talk about other stuff I've got going on if people show interest.

More than anything I love this forum and it's one of the few reasons I kept coming back to 2+2 even when I wasn't playing poker. I love reading threads and seeing people grow and progress, and I love how supportive the majority of people are in this forum. This place truly is one of the best aspects of 2+2!


My Goal

My goal is to reach a point where poker is, at the very least, my main source of income (I may find P/T bar work or something) and where I can live a nice life without financial worries. I can live well on £1.2k a month so if I can get to (then past) that point it would be amazing. I'll probably need help to get there but I don't think it's an unrealistic goal.

In the past I always dreamed of becoming a millionaire and in a way, I feel like having a dream so far away only served as a hindrance. Since then, I've come to know myself a lot better and I now realise that this crazy notion that all my problems would melt away if I became successful at poker were, quite frankly, insane.

My priority in life now is to just live well and find contentment by making small consistent steps to progress each day and I believe that, with hard-work and guidance, I can mostly cover the financial side of life through poker. I'm just looking for a platform that allows me to live the life I need to live to be happy.


Thankyou for reading and I will drop in again soon with some goals and developments.

ShellysAshes.

First, vamooooo, GL

Wow good read! Hope luck on side. Good to see happiness more important than just money. Too many not realise this!
Nice CEV!

GL!

Glad to see you again my brother! Started to grind again as well(I made my PGC thread as well)!

Good to catch up with you, with help of your post. I do relate a lot with what you have written. I will be following and rooting for you!

Best of luck!

Thought about joining a stable at all?

GLGL

nice dude, thanks for the spoils and pics. You should throw in the odd 'good value' mtt here and there there is heaps of dead money in those still

What grade in squash are you? I play a lot myself.

Nice to see another Brit in a simular place as me...
I liked reading your thread mate

GL in everything
feel free to add my skype... PM me

Thankyou bro!


Absolutely, realising this really does give you a chance to save yourself from a lot of pain and anguish

And tyty!


Cheers!


Thankyou, the same to you mate!


Tyty, and yes I've thought about joining a stable. I'll write about this in my update.


I'm sure I'll look into grinding the odd MTT at some point in the near future, maybe even some satties as they tend to be super-soft and a good way to take shots at juicy prizepools on a budget. Thankyou for the helpful advice!


I'm not sure about grade, never heard of a grading system. To be honest I'm not 100% sure I would be classed as an intermediate, but I bloody love it and I am getting better week by week.

On a side note Colin, you're from NZ aren't you? I watch squash highlights on youtube, (if you haven't already) check out your compatriot Paul Coll. He's not ranked particularly high but he won the St George's Hill Classic in December and beat a bunch of top-ranked players in doing so. The highlights are all on youtube, he's one of the most exciting players I've ever watched!


Cheers man, my skype name is ShellysAshes if you want to add me.



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Played for over 6hrs today and did well. Won another 10x, definitely running sick in those! Generally not running as hot but in a sick way I actually enjoy getting a few beats as running over EV from the outset is always a tad embarrassing.


MTD Graphs






I've got an interview with an exciting looking stable on Saturday afternoon so I'm going to hit it hard over the next four days and (hopefully) have a nice pretty CEV graph to show to them.


Goals for 15/02 to 18/02 (next 4 days)

[ ] 20hrs+ total grind

[ ] at least four 30min+ study sessions

[ ] update this thread at the end of every day


Cheers, ShellyAshes.

in, glad to see you doing well. GL this month!

Loved reading your background story and can relate in many ways.
GL man

Nice one Donald, hope you're well too bud!


Thanks man, I think it's something that strikes a chord with quite a few people. Online poker is such a young person's game but, for me at least, I tried to take it seriously before I was mature enough to do so. I guess it must be the same for a lot of people.


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Decent day. Studied for 45mins and played for 6hrs 10mins to make a solid start to the goals I set yesterday. Split my session into three 2hr sessions, definitely a huge plus point being able to take an hour off to chill and eat and whatnot!

Ran a bit aidsy in the second half which tbh was more than due considering how hot I've ran so far, but CEV was through the roof today which is awesome!

Definitely the best I've played since starting up again. The grinding and studying is starting to pay off.


Todays Graphs

Nice progress mate. Keep it up and I'm sure you can really make some good progress in the next few days before your stable interview!


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

13000 cev in 2000 hand omg!
If i hit 3x CEV to hands is crush. 6.5x BEAST!

sry for busting you, gl. sub'd.

Cheers bud!


To be honest I have very little idea of what's standard for these games but I'll take the compliment!


Hey man, I have my chat turned off from way back in the day when I used to chat-rage, wasn't ignoring you. Thankyou for the sub and no need to apolagise, I hope you took it down!


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Another productive day. Studied for 51mins and played for 6hrs 28mins in total.

Don't feel like I played anywhere near as well as yesterday. Also felt like I was running **** so was surprised to see I'd made money at the end of the session, and extremely surprised to see I'd ran way over EV!


Todays Graphs







Basically polarised to quad aces, kings full (which we block) or a wheel. Maybe some really strong Ax, (do AQ/AJ/AT even bet flop?) but not folding against this player.





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Back tomorrow, looking for another solid study session and 5+hrs of grinding to close in on the goals I set.

ShellysAshes.

no problem, i did take it down.

Good man!


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Decent enough day in terms of productivity. Don't feel like I played particularly well and sort of feel like I'm running bad in ways that don't show up in graphs like getting bowled over by LAG-fish HU or not being able to hit flops against fun players, etc etc. Keep making money so can't complain really.

Studied for 35mins and played for 5hrs 4mins today.


Todays Graphs






----

Nice hand in a 4x. If they show up with QJ or Ax I prob cry.


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Just need one more 30min+ study session, about 3hrs of grind and one more post in this thread tomorrow to complete that set of four day goals. Should achieve this comfortably.

Got an interview with a stable at 3pm so I'll try to get all that done beforehand and hopefully they'll take me on and move me up.

Thankyou for reading.

Goals completed!




Last 4 Days








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Pleased with the effort. Got all my grinding hours in and studied for the best part of 3 hours in total. Only disappointing thing is I slacked a bit on my non-poker goals so it's a case of figuring out how to be a bit more economical with my time. I'm sure I'll find a good schedule and rhythm soon!

I had an interview today with a staking team and I'm 99% sure they'll offer me a contract tomorrow so could be moving up very soon. Will drop by tomorrow with more information regarding that.


Cheers, Shelly.

Beast!

Very nice results! Congrats on hitting all your targets!

Best of luck with that contract.

Solid start mate! vamos

Cheers Bulby!


Cheers man, vamos!


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So I've decided not to sign with this stable today. Main reason is that, I'm >99% certain I crush the 3s for winrates that are way higher than most stables would view as acceptable for new horses. I have little doubt some of these stables have players in the 15s who aren't as good as me. That might make me sound like a knob but it's most likely true, so with that in mind there's little point in signing away 50% of my profits to play the same games I'm already crushing on my own dime. I may as well grind and move up on my own accord until I reach a point where I feel I now need guidance to break through glass ceilings. I can remember dabbling in 6max cash a couple of years ago and 25nl was the stake where I realised I needed help. I'm assuming it will be the 15s in spins.

Also, the stable I was looking at has removed some of their appealing terms since I've applied so I think I'll hold out and try to get in a different stable that told me I needed 3k games at 3s with a cev of 60 per game, in 8 weeks. Right now (early days I know) I'm over 100 cev per game and I've played close to 700. I feel like I can still improve a fair bit on my own.

I'm averaging about 13.5 games an hour so far. My strategy is to play a max of two tables, but if I fire up the first game and it doesn't land on a 2x multi then I'll refrain from firing up a second and just concentrate on that. Theoretically I never play two games with multis >2x at this point in time.

My plan for this week is to grind the 3s hard and if I have a decent-week profit wise I'll move up to the 7s for next week. Obviously my bankroll isn't great (just over the right side of $900) but, despite the high-variance it's been hard so far to have huge losing sessions like you so often get grinding MTTs and 180s and whatnot.

I'll grind the 3s for one more week and, as long as I don't lose I'll move into the 7s... for a few days at least! ;P


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Goals for Monday 20/02/2017 to Sunday 26/02/2017 (the next week)

[ ] 40hrs+ Total Grind
[ ] 3hrs+ Total Study

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I'm not going to update every single day but maybe I'll drop in a few times over the next seven days. In the meantime here's some sexy house music.

gooood decision imo

Subbed and agreed on good decision. Keep it up!