Thanks. About hands yesterday I was doing a lot of notes and I was playing mostly at one table. Today I didn’t make notes and I was playing 2-3 tables so you can see the difference.





“Playing poker, I busted two laptops and at least 25-30 mice. I
put a small hole in my wall, and nearly made a much bigger one
when I threw a chair across my office.”
By LeatherAss from Treat your poker like a business

When I read those words for the very first time I was laughing. I thought WTF?! Chair, laptops, mice? WTF!? I didn’t realize how it works until I start playing full time. Those things have different impact on you when you play 2 hours 5 days a week and when you spend on poker 50-60 hours a week. When you play like a pro you have much more emotion to deal with. You need to rebuild yourself and learn how to deal with it especially when you have problems with aggression and you search pain when you’re under big emotional pressure like me.

I think it mostly because of gym but I do like pain. It gives me release, no matter how pissed I am or how big emotional pressure I feel, pain gives me release. When I train at the gym and I feel pain it’s only me, there is no past, there is no future it’s only me, problems aren’t exist, nothing really matter, my mind is free, I don’t think about anything, it’s really relaxing in some way. After exercise I am like new born. I feel serotonin in my veins, pain doesn’t exist any longer and still nothing really matter, those are best moments in my life. I think that’s why when I am on tilt I punch desk or wall I want to feel serotonin again and I connect one with other.

Today I had huge tilt. I was scared a bit about my rage. When I closed tables I was really pissed. I was like clicking bomb, there was only matter of time when I do something stupid. I kicked in my knee on the desk (I don’t know how to describe it) when I was trying to wake up and because of that I lost control. I threw chair at the wall I broke few small things and I threw shaker with water inside. Now it’s like a dream, like something unreal, like I would be drunk or on drugs. I need to learn how to quit thought guys. I was playing with one guy who made a lot of problems. He was donking 60% of the flops, he was raising a lot of rivers and when I called him he always have nutz. My mindset is too weak to play vs those aggressive guys. I’ll be ready latter to play vs them but now I need to just leave them, until I’ll learn how to deal with huge pressure better. Even though I’ve heard about quitting them I needed to learn it in a hard way….

I quit “stop whining bitch” challenge. I’ll come back to this exercise latter on. I don’t whine that much and I have more problems with my emotions than with winning. I’ll make exercise from Gordon Tilt course to improve my quitting muscle. I don’t have problems with abide my stop lose but I have problems with leaving aggressive guys, that’s why I’ll make exercise from his course about quitting.

I am cleaning my PC. I find out some old files where I was writing about different stuff: goals, things I’ve learned or some exercises from books. It’s pretty cool to read about old goals and find out that you achieved most of them… It’s pretty cool to read that problems you had are so small you don’t treat them as problems anymore. It’s pretty cool to read about chicks I was worried about and now I even don’t remember their names. You live and you learn. You grow stronger and wiser. Old problems aren’t problems anymore because you think bigger, have bigger goals and you’re better person. Reading it makes you calm because you know that your current problems won’t be problems in a year or two. In a three or four years you can even laugh about it. I can’t wait to read my first blog posts for year or two from now.
I am very happy with my today session. I had few sick hands I almost reached stop lose but still was playing solid and long story short today I won some cash

Today is a great day. Today I had free day. Like always after gym I ate huge meal (pot of rice, 300g of meat) and took 2h nap… First free day I enjoyed a lot! Tomorrow is a day when I am playing for a month at NL50 that’s why I’ll post my month graph.

Todays session:

I was tilting because Gordon exercise. I needed to go out from table after X min. Twice I had OESD + FD and twice I didn’t hit anything. Guy won my cash he was playing like a donk and lonk story short I must leave him. That tilts me soooo much. Anyway those guys will come and go and I need to do those exercise because I need to learn new skills. Still it’s tilting because as much as I like money I don’t like to lose it.

Here is my month grap from NL50:


With RB and bonuses in a first month of playing NL50 I almost 2.5x my BR. I am not here to be a rakeback whore. I see a lot of things that I should improve. I can’t wait to master them all to crush this game. In first month of playing NL50 and still learning I 2.5x my BR I learned a lot in this month bot in real life and in poker. I can’t wait to see what will happen in next month

Hero (BB): $50 (100 bb)
SB: $52.16 (104.3 bb)

Preflop: Hero is BB with J T
SB completes, Hero checks

Flop: ($1) 7 6 8 (2 players)
Hero bets $0.50, SB calls $0.50

Turn: ($2) 9 (2 players)
Hero bets $2, SB calls $2

River: ($6) J (2 players)
Hero checks, SB bets $7.25, Hero raises to $14.50, SB raises to $21.75, Hero calls $7.25

[/hand_history][/converted_hand]

I'll change few things in work away from table. Tomorrow I'll write something more about it.

When will you move up to NL100?

@czechvengeance
Don’t have a clue. We’ll see in few next weeks.





I am building new work ethic:

I’ll follow this algorithm for next two month and I'll test how it works.

I am happy with my game today. Was running not that bad but I lost 8 stack off preflop and won only three. For times I was facing AA. Reached stop lose but I was playing fine. Guy was bad so I was playing a bit longer for it back. He stopped running hot and won back some money, then I left. It’s enough for today. I am working with Flopzilla I think I’ll spend maaaaaaaaaany hours on it. I want to be good at knowing and understanding the board texture.

@czechvengeance
I have a plan to move up to NL100 after 2months of playing on NL50 we'll see how it will work.



In next two weeks or so I am going to spend more time on work away from table. I rewatched (for the fourth time) Gordon’s movie about cbeting and had some “aha” moments. It means I gained some new experience and I need to rewatch his whole course. Lately I am working a lot with flopzilla and kind of like it. Working on those things is kind of boring but anyway it’s something I must to do to move up faster. I have momentum so I need to go with it. Every once in a while I’ll do it over and over again. Yeah it costs time and effort but I am sure time is right.

Was running pretty bad again but I was still playing solid and here's the restult:


Btw. I am doing this stop whining bitch chalange once again. I just feel very very bad when I give up on tasks like that and I want to get rid of feeling that I gave up on something.

Didn’t have problems with procatination for a loooooong loooooong time. Last three days I was procrastinate with cooking, cleaning room, washing etc. It took so much energy. I forgot how hard it is to procrastinate things. You think about them all the time and you can’t rest. It’s really exhausting. It’s so much easier to just do them on right time, but it’s not that simple, is it? xD

I think I am better at relaxing than I was. Today I had great time and can’t wait to play some poker tomorrow.

I was planing to stay at current place for three months anyway I think I’ll stay here for half a year. I’ll stay here longer because I get in touch with some of those meatheads from my gym. They are great, they have a lot of experience, they are huge and strong and they give me some tips. I am bigger than I ever was and I still feel weak and small. I can gain a lot of experience with them and learn how to become huge mother ****er. It’s much, much better to see how those people train than read some books. They give few tips and somehow force me to make harder training. I asked coach about have a look at my work out he added six exercise. I have hardcore (for nerd) training routine. I work out 4 times a week, I eat huge and yesterday I find out I have 36.5 cm in biceps for first time in my life. I think achieving 40cm in biceps in half a year is pretty real. I learned few things, I understood few things and I have much better work ethic than I had.

I am testing few things from bodybuilders and from elite athletes to improve body regeneration. It should help in poker as well. There are some supplements that improve brain work, when I’ll earn more cash I’ll definitely try them. It’s seems poker pro lifestyle is great to build huge muscle. Still I am learning and testing few things. If they’ll be helpful I’ll write more about them, now I’ll prefer to keep it in private




PS If someone is playing on unibet my friend have something special. More info in private.

I think I injured my shoulder. I saw guy who was bench pressing 220lbs (100kg) and told myself I want to do the same thing….. Long story short I did it with mega bad technique…. And I think something bad happen with my shoulder, again… It’s tilting that I did the same mistake once again…. Once again I forget that I have stronger mind than joints….

Today was running mega bad… I needed to play 3h with two guys who were winning every flip. They were bad but all the ****ing time they hit something or river or won flip. My graph char should be twice as good today. Anyway I did cooler to one guy, it was ****ing hilarious.





PS I need to repeat stop whining bitch once again…

Is that just heads up you're playing? Or do you mix in some zoom or 6-max in it?

Since we play HU for the first time, we'll at least wait another month so that we also have a more robust BR.

We're on a good way. Funny enough, i am more satisfied with Pavel than Pavel is with himself lol.

Theoretical knowledge seems mostly fine atm, but the experience part is totally missing. This type of knowledge where you know what villain has, simply based on having seen it a million times. There is no other way but through experience to acquire this knowledge.

@ spideysteve
Only HU. I don’t like the idea of mixing those two.


I am happy with results but I know myself good enough to know that I can do it better. I still see a lot of the things that I need to work on. I work hard on those goals because I am sure I co do much better.



I was going to write something more but I need to go to sleep. I am pretty exhausted.

[spoiler] [/spoiler]

That's nice graph. Nice work.

@spideysteve
Thanks I'll



Pretty demanding day. I was very tiered at 11PM and now it’s 3AM but I don’t go to sleep until my work is done. Was working with flopzilla and Gordon movies about cbeting. Flopzilla is hardcore boring for me after working with it 5 day in a row. Anyway I did commitment that I’ll do it every day and I’ll no doubt about it.



Last two weeks:

Was tilting. Was playing. I hate Gordon exercise about quitting I lose so much cash and time on it… I still need to do it 4 times more. I am afraid of watching his next two movies about quitting because I don’t want to find exercise like this again… Anyway it’s easier than no whining exercise :P

It seems tomorrow I won't have a free day. My laptop was fill up in water so I'll have a lot of work to do.

On other blog they asked me about my day schedule I’ll write it here as well:
1) I wake up (10 AM) => turn on PC => morning bath + reading kindle
2) Sometimes I do some morning exercise
3) While preparing meal checking: “to do list” + adding something if needed ( I make “to do list” once a week and sometimes I need to add something) + start session review from last day all hands 20bb> I do it while eating.
4) Usually morning SR takes me ~1.5h sometimes I watch all hands on the table in the morning sometimes if I had a lot of 20bb> hands I do it latter on
5) Eating second meal + watching all hands at one table where I lost most cash and preparing for first session + preparing third meal.
6) Second session + meal while playing (now I have shorter sessions because I am doing Gordon exercise about quitting so sometimes it isn’t needed)
7) In days I work out (usually Monday Tuesday, Thursday, Friday ) gym In days I do not work out usually hang out with someone / visit father / preparing food / cleaning house.
8) Here it’s usually something like 7-9PM I ate 5 meals and I am preparing last one.
9) Eating last meal and preparing protein shake for last session of the day (usually 4-5 hour long )
10) Sleep around 3AM

In the meantime I am watching hand evaluation. Search random stuff in HM with potential leaks (sometimes I do voice notes while playing about some ideas) Reading something on my kindle. Waste some time on skype / stupid websites like 9gag and sometimes I change a place of different things in house just to play in find something I need…..
This is mostly how my day looks like. It change only at Sundays / Mondays when I have free days but then I have no plan. I hope you are happy with this answer.



Today I can’t complain about too much free time because I still didn’t end everything I wanted to and I haven’t break either. I’ll end it in an hour or two. I believe that obstacles are here to stop other people and that’s why because of those obstacles I have I am going to make more commitments about working on my game and mindset then last week. I had an idea to work this week only 8 hours per day because I need to force myself stronger to get the job done but because what happens I must work harder for one week more just because obstacles are here to stop other people. After that no matter what I’ll ban myself for working more than 8 hour a day I need a freaking break and get more relax to get rid of accumulated emotions. Found great image about commitments:


Yesterday graphs:





After few weeks of using rescue times I spotted that my average day is working for 9.5 with productivity 85% I thought WTF I thought I do more but then I realize it doesn’t count time when I wait for tables and nothing happen.

On PS blog I had question about how I build my work ethic I'll write here my answer as well:

I build my work ethic on achieving my other goals. My first goal was to going to gym for 6 months straight (with one week breaks after 8-12 weeks for regeneration). Going 3 times a week isn’t that hard so it was great thing to start with. Since beginning at the gym to moving out (except time when I injured my both shoulders so for 1.5 year) I skipped only one training. It was because I spend three days in bed with one girl. She was crazy, she bit me, she scratched me, I had some “remembrance” from her on my body for two or three weeks. Even though it was mega ****ing awesome I am still a bit mad that I skipped this one training.

My second project was to learn 2 hours to uni every single day no matter what. I used to be bad at math and IT subjects back then so I did this project. High point was when I was drunk and on high it was 1.30AM and still 1.5 hours left to learning. I knew that if I am going give up now I’ll give something I was working on for such a long time so I was learning integrals high and drunk in the 1 AM for 1.5 hour. It was mega ****ing insane because I was high and time passed very very very very very very very slow. It was mega boring back then I knew I won’t learn anything nor remember anything but it was about rules not about learning something new.

Second high point of this project was when my friend called and told me he needs to smoke before love of his life will join party, she was against weed and he told me he “must to be relax” when she comes. I was only one person with weed at that time (I checked it by calling to people who were joining this party) so I went there but still one hour of learning left. After last experience I told myself never ever again do this crap again. You won’t survive this again you must to do your work before that. Long story short all the people was having fun and I was learning in different room. Some of them told some jokes about it and told me that I can’t create my future. My pride still want to show those mother-****ers that I can achieve whatever I want to achieve. I have huge pride when it comes to those stuff. Gordon told me two months ago that he’s afraid that I may quit because of a running bad or something and he doesn’t want to waste his time if this going to happen. I prove him otherwise one way or another that I am not guy like that, and he didn’t repeat it again but it still a pain in the ass for me and my pride still hurt a bit.

This pride works well because when I have hard times I remind myself all those people who was saying to me: “you can’t do it”, “you’ll fail”, “you can’t shape your destiny” and I think “**** YOU!!” and work harder. Still I need to learn how to get rid of pride while playing poker. Blog is my third project from Gordon challenge. My first project began two years ago.

You know... You have really really big ego, and the thing is, that this "item" you are carrying on will help you to do what youre dreaming about. Dont give up and good luck!

P.S really motivating

@ tehgrizzly
I think my ego has a size of small country I am glad about that because it gives me motivation to work my ass off to chase my dreams and I it’s big enough ego to hear critique and think about it as a feedback not like an attack at me.




Today I am mega happy with my play and how I was dealing everything. I even didn’t swear. I was even running pretty fine but my opponents was running mega hot here’s the graph:



I see huge improvement in my awareness. Three weeks ago I couldn’t find a difference between my B and C game and between my A and B game. This is how it looks right now:


Did a lot of commitments about my work away from tables so I’ll use this time to work on this. I was playing very good today but I just close those tables, I am afraid I would lose whole BR If opponents would run like that. Had only ~300 hands today so tomorrow I’ll rewatch every single hand to find some more leaks I may made. Those A to C game analysis helped me be aware of few things in my game. I Thought I was working only on 2 things while playing. It seems I have 8 skills that I am working on while playing. I didn’t master them yet so I am worse at them when I am tilted / bored, it was a great info for me. Today I think I didn’t complain but I am not sure so I don’t count it as no complaining day. Only 2 more days with Gordon quitting exercise and I am free to play normal sessions.