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Poker Goals & Challenges Post your threads logging your travels up the poker ladder as you achieve your poker goals and dreams. "Challenges" does NOT mean prop bets, wagers, etc.

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Old 09-22-2017, 01:35 AM   #951
Join Date: Mar 2013
Posts: 679
Re: Sexy Polish Millionaire. Baller Japan / Getting Ripped / Crush Poker

I know Added
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Old 11-02-2017, 10:51 AM   #952
Join Date: Mar 2013
Posts: 679
Re: Sexy Polish Millionaire. Baller Japan / Getting Ripped / Crush Poker

Today I am super happy and extremely excited. I've realized that I failed at two of my goals this year. First I failed at meditating two years straight. Totally my fault, got drunk not on other peoples party but invited friends, got drunk, drunk too much (because of downswing) and fall down and felt asleep. I failed at 689 days meditating every single day (it was like 3-4 continents, many times at the plane, many times drunk or high (not last time thought)). The 2nd thing I've realized was I failed at something that I was afirmatting myself almost twice daily for last 13 months. Since my travel to USA a lot of stuff changed and since then I started affirmations. Last week I gave up on it (afirmation supposed to be till my BD) because didn't see any way that I can succeed at it. What I've realized that even though I made a huge goals for myself (for the point I was in life) I've achieved 66.9% of this goal. While doing so I've increased my totall BR by 224.7% in like 13 months. This made me realize how huge success I achieved and that there is no way that I am going to give up on affirmation. What I've realized is that there is no way I am going to give up on affirmations, especially that spewed a lot of money on USA / Hong Kong / Peru and some other smaller trips in those 13 months. What is funny is that the way how my BR increased is very lame, unsexy and completely not in a ways that I expected. My afirmations didn't say a **** about way of getting it but as long as money are comming I am fine even with most lame ways as long as they come withing my values.

The best part is that 3 new books arrived today, the smell of new books, oh my Good. Life is so ****ing awesome. Variance helped me with last month. I never, ever had losing month, was trying to keep it to myself because I don't like to ***** about my problems to other people, however every time someone asked me about my results I gave him honest answer, I hated every one of them, it kicked me in the balls every single ****ing time, I hated it. So after not having a single losing month in my carrier like 4 years or os (since blog started) according to sheet I had one month that showed something like -17.500k Euro losings and 4 months of losing money...... It was hard as **** to endure through it but no one said it's gonna be easy. Probably most frustrating point was when I had nl600 reg who were beating my ass, keep taking lobby and put me on huge tilt. He ****ing forced me to become my nemesis and my enemy. After a month of hard work and a few BIs I've learned how to crush this ****er, he lost -1.5BI and quit me, no action since.... Lately HU showed me it's worst side, got ****ed by two players together, against me, they even said it at chat room did nothing, yet they really crushed me, I really played bad against their strategy (two different ones) Got buttoned a ****ing lot BUT I DID ****ING ENDURED IT. The last month (even though came back from Hong Kong at 08.10) ended up with profit of ~ 28 465 Euro booking biggest month in my history. I am soo ****ing greatfull for people close to my who helped me with enduring it and who inspired me.

The best part is I was literally ready to do everything I had to do to start winning again, I started but the hard steps I made are going to be pushed forward. There is no moving back only forward. I've been so much inspired lately, at my BD I am going to create new affirmations even bigger and I am gonna do everything I can to achieve them. I have to learn better to thrive during chaos. I love that I spend quality familly time, that I have an awesome relationship with girl I love and that I have awesome friends with whom I can spend time. I know that I am going to pay the price for traveling and doing stuff with more chaos, but well, chaos is a big part of life and I am starting to stop battling it. I am setting up myself for even bigger goals and I feel bloodlust.
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Old 11-14-2017, 06:38 AM   #953
Join Date: Sep 2017
Posts: 4
Re: Sexy Polish Millionaire. Baller Japan / Getting Ripped / Crush Poker

Great you are back!
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Old 12-12-2017, 05:46 PM   #954
Join Date: Mar 2013
Posts: 679
Re: Sexy Polish Millionaire. Baller Japan / Getting Ripped / Crush Poker

I wouldn't say back. Here and there I am going write about something that I find interesting. Sometimes what other people find interesting but will post for quite a while. Unforuntely not daily like I used to for more than a year

Hello, Hello

It's been a while. Long story short I did one thing that I was very fascinate about for a while. It's called Ayahuasca.
Friend of mine told me about it when we were living in Medellin, Columbia. I saw it when I was like 16 saw some document and that was it.
But in Medelline I wanted to try it. Over the time here and there I've learned more about psyhodeics drugs and I've thought it's my Jam.
I don't like alcohol any longer, same is with weed (I can go into better states with meditation than with both of them) and I am not interested in other drugs.
Saying that stuff like psychedelics got my attention.

So I was talking with my friend on Skype. He told me that he was stooned with some **** I told him I was thinking about Ayahuasca and long story we planned to go.
He delayed one month our planned trip and said that we should go for December because then he will go for 1000% so we booked everything and were waiting.
It supposed to be an amazing trip, we supposed to go for 3 aya ceremonies for 5 days outside of Cuzco and then go with Inca Trails to see Machu Picu while hiking.
Very solid goals. Then at the November around 1 month before our trip he told me he won't go there. One of my worst fears came true. I was in front of a choice,
going on my own or facing one of my big fears, flying on my own and doing everything on my own. I've been in quite few places, like south america, central america,
north america, asia twice and in plenty of places over the Europe but I always were there with someone, I've never been traveling without some sort of support from
someone else. It was hard choice but I've though **** it I am going anyway.

I was all nervous about it so I started to prepare well for it. Bought everything I needed way earlier than usual, had my insurance, flights, everything ready.
Than like 3 weeks before the trip something ****ed up with my back. I was really in the zone. Since I came back from Hong Kong I was hungry for blood.
I was committed as **** and I was grinding like mofo 10-12h a day grind with some work on game. I know that at that level I was finally being able to earning
those nice dollars I want from this game. Than it hit me. My lumbars had different opinion. Those guys didn't like how I abused them so they gave it back.
For almost two weeks I wasn't able to sit on my ****ing ass. I could either walk or lie. Nothing in between, at least no longer than whole 2 minutes.
Than I said something I always regret saying. "Well it can't ****ed up more, can it?". World as always wait for some challenges, it even doesn't matter are those good or bad.
2 days latter my nail went like crocodile when I moving new desk (had to order standing desk because wasn't able to sit) had to go to chirurg to get rid of the nail and there I was.
Week before travel, no nail, with chronic lumbar pain, at that point I've even realized my priorities. I was way more happy to go with my fiance to the coffee shop holding her hand,
than being out there alone, going through some trees to see wonder of the world. Anyway there I was, sitting in the airplane to Cuzco, knowing that if everything goes smoothly,
My flight will take "just" 30h if something ****'s up, God know how long. While I was siting I was thinking that it never stop to amaze me, how many phobias and fears I can have.
I know the drill quite well, I know that while doing them I am not afraid, it's hard to not know with being afraid of important, lifechanging stuff, anyway preparation and execution
helps me get rid of fear so let it be.

I was trying to charm my luck and since there was soo many ****es up before I was telling myself, everything's gonna be allright, now you are in the game so it's going to get better.
Didn't work as well as expected, just after the 2nd flight the manage to destroy my bag handle what meant I had to move 25kg with just my arm strengths, who need wheels anyway, right?
Then I got misdirected 5 times at the Madrid Airport (Also never stops to amaze me how people loves to give their opinion on stuff they don't know a **** about without using "I am guessing /
I am thinking" or something alike and just saying "Go there") It happened to be most misguided airport I've ever seen, even sings were saying "cmon bro, you have 1.5h of free time? I know
that you can still be late for your flight"). Everything went smoothly since than, with experience I knew to pack another shirt to my carry on so being all wet from the 25kg bag, didn't affect me
as much as it could. Anyway I was almost there. Lima. I was almost celebrating. I almost could feel the awesome fresh water after all this traveling, the awesome shower and how refreshing,
it is. It was only 1h 20 min flight till Cuzco. I saw that they are talking something in Spanish about my flight, I saw 20 min deally I've though no biggy, I was fine and calm about it. Then I saw
another 20 min dellay it become suspicious. Anyway a girl approached me, she was from Brazil, we were talking then I saw another 20 min, so whole hour, then another 30 min and once
again 30 min. The crew was keep changing their deadlines to, buha, that's right, they canceled my flight. Had to run for my life some place else, where they also dellayed 20 min and off I went.

Day before the ceremony I had to drink vulcanic water to clean my system. (On top of not eating red meat, coffee, chocolate, salt, everything that I love, the only thing I could eat was chicken that I don't like and that I happy didn't eat for last 8 years or so) I had to fast at least 4 hours before it but for me 12 hour seemed just fine. With those flight dellayes I ended up fasting like 18h. I went there and it's when get juicy. They are telling me I have to drink a cup of vulcanic water, I taste it, doesn't seem so bad, a bit salty, etc. It was 0.75l or so, not inicent but I can do it.
But there are three things you need to know about. (Now we go to funny part). First you got to drink it as fast as you can. 2nd you got to each 6 of those as fast as you can
(6x0.75l try it even with unsalty water in like 5 min, gl with how pleasure it is....) last but not least, you'll get dairrhea, maybe vomit a bit, worse case scenario both at the same time.
Yeah the old good dairrhea, after flying and fasting, perfect. So I drank 6 of those cups in like 5-10min (hated every glup of it after 2nd cup) then drank another one in next hour and ended up just like they said. Unfortunatelly what they forgot to tell me. Do not eat 2h after the cleaning unless it's going to be worse. So there I was 3000m above the water level, 24 fasting, all cleaned up,
went for hunt for VEGEFOOD, they told me it's what I can eat. Yeah old good vege food.... Of course I had to go up on incline, and it was on the 2nd floor. But what you wouldn't do, for
tasty vege meal.... after travelling, fasting and stuff. And let me tell you I did not get any sleep that night because they forgot to tell me to don't eat 2h after cleaning because it will get,
way, way worse than before.... Anyway in the end those stuff doesn't matter, they just make travel feels more like travel. This post is getting long so will write about Aya in the next one.

BTW I wonder how guy like this handles traveling:
The guy is really amazing and really makes all your travel problems feel very, very small.
Also the thing is, when everything went smoothly I don't even remember the travel. The more rush travels makes me remember them better. Maybe even enjoy a little bit more thewhole experience. Of course when I am back home, fully regenerated.
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Old 12-16-2017, 06:30 PM   #955
Join Date: Mar 2013
Posts: 679
Re: Sexy Polish Millionaire. Baller Japan / Getting Ripped / Crush Poker

Well, I wanted to go to sleep and rest but variance had other plans.
To claim Bitcoin Cash, only because I've been using Armory before I needed to spend like 3h to figure it out and now like another 1.5h till it will scan each single private key....
Anyway hourly is very good and in the meantime I can go back to writing post.
I'll just translate to English most of my expeirence that I wrote at 5:30 after I woke up (we went to sleep around 01:00 or so but I was in the mission to go back home so didn't sleep.

Day 2 (Day 1 was amazing vulcano water with vege food)
I remember, that I was laughing soo hard that I started to cry, I was laughing and crying, than crying and laughing, then some crying and some laughing again.
The reason why I was crying from laugh was that I remind myself, during the aya trip, that friends told me that they would love me to tell them what I feel.
The idea of explaining what I was feeling was soo hilarious that it was hard to catch my breath. The idea that someone would try to understand it with his sence..... just hilarious.....
I remember that when I was watching some document about Acient Egipit they said that Egiptian believed that we have 320 - 460 (something alike) sences, no 5, but a huge number...
Saying that someone has 6th sence and making mofo out of him while Egpitians were saying about few hundred sences..... To top all of that every one of your sences is super,
extremelly strong. You just feel them very, very strongly. Way, way, way stronger than usuall. So not only you have few hundred sences, you feel them way deeper than usuall
(Yeah I was feeling way more sences than just basic 5 sences, even when I was touching something I've felt it with 4 different sences).

Easy example of what other sences feels like during Aya trip. Far, far away you hear wolf, wolf is howling. You understand that he blesses you and your fiance and your future childrens.
Then suddenly you see him from above, he gets smaller, you start to see earth from cosmos, like small ball, yet you still see wolf, you thank him for his blessing, and all of the sudden
you see thousands of wolfs around the world that are howling for you, you hear them all, you know they all bless you in unison, you thank them all, while keep seing earth from cosmos.
Then you go more and more far away and you end up at some sort of kaleidoscope. Full of very strong, bright colors, they all are dancing. They have colors of Peruvian's hat.
You see that some beings are dancing, some beings are communicating with yourself. They communicate not speak. They communicate with soul langauge, their soul connect to your
and all of the sudden, they know everything about you, they know what you want to tell them and they know who you are. To top that, they know way better who you are than you know it yourself.
As your human being, you are limited, you don't have acess to your whole soule becuase it would be too deep and you wouldn't manage it. So some stranger being knows more about you than you
will ever know at this lifetime. Yet all your plans, and everything what you wanted to comunicate are known for that being. Slowly you start getting why all your other sences are asleep,
while just 5 sences do the job. You feel way overwhelmed with all those experiences, then you touch the wall behind you, you feel whole emotional roller coster, just from touching a wall,
you see colors, you see sounds, you hear colors, you know that those stuff are here but on daily basis you have no access to it. You read it in order but it had no order. Everything were in 'chaos'.
At least chaos for us. In that 'space' / In those words there is no such a thing like time, at least no in a way that we understand it, stuff happenes stimulatiusly, they end before they began
and they began at the end. For your Ancestors, for Mother Nautre, there is no time, no time in our sence. Time there is different, stimuanitously you have present, past and future.
I am writing it in a chaotic way because everything you see is chaotic and without order that we as a people crave. Our perception is way, way different than perception of our 'souls'.
/// No wonder why I was crying from laugh when I was thinking about explaining it. While I write it I feel huge ammounts of energy going through my veins, I feel amazing, even though
I should be sleeping and I know that even though I use soo much space and soo much words to describe it, it won't be understood on that deep level that I've felt it. During the trip you
understand all those stuff in just a clap of fingers.

When the Trip started I was expecting fight with my demons. I was expecting going over and over everything traumatic in my life to let me be free from it in the present. No such thing happen.
Since First minute I had good trip. I've asked Mother Ayahuasca, why. I've asked why I don't fight demons, why it's a good trip and why it is how it is. She was laughing. It was entertaining
question for her and She in her neverending knowledge and wisdom replay. "You do not get what you expect, nor what you want, You get what you need. You had enough of bad experience,
you need to learn one very important lesson and one only, there won't be demons, there won't be other stuff, just one lesson". Then the trip started.

It's enough for me for today. I see that those bitcoin cash will take their time so I am going to bed. I feel like I am going to remind myself some of those stuff during my sleep and I can't wait. Have 8 more pages in my journal so will be a bit more content (won't write down everything though, some stuff will be only for friends and familly).
Btw kaleidoscop, this is a bit what I saw when I was saying I saw kaleidoscop:

It was pusling, It was vibrating and there weren't any sort of whirwild because I was in the center but it super bright with many, many different shapes. (Latter I've learned that stuff like that are
only saw by shaman after 5 years of training+ but more about it latter).
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