Was playing 4 sessions today, was working on game. Did coaching. I was very glad that my student improved a lot. It's also more fun to have coaching with him because the more he knows the more interesting it gets. I am happy with today. Also I am very glad that I was sleeping for 8.5h!!! I don't remember when I was sleeping for so long!

next week or two I won't multitable. Max 2 tables. I'll check does it make a difference.

I feel kind of numb. Still on downswing. Have to learn more and grind more.

Was talking with friend, I was depressed a bit because I was break even through 50k hands. He told me two good statements that forced me today to play more today. He told me that I didn't change from winning reg to losing reg in month and a half. Second thing was that, he asked me if I would be sure that b/e will pass after 50k hands how fast I am going to grind them? Will I procrastinate it for half year or do everything to do it as fast as possible. Today's graph:



To be honest I even don't care is it end of this downswing / break even swing or nope. I'll do the same thing so I am ready to everything.

Graph for today:


I am brainless was fighting with one "reg" who hit GS on the River two times when I had trips and once hit FD vs my x/r b b with top trips. Was fighting with this guy for 300 hands or so. Tiered as **** but I am very happy that at least after last two mofo heavy grinding days I made a profit. Tomorrow is free day. I am glad that I'll rest.

Didn't knew why so many girls send some ****ty message, search for contact, want to hang out lately. I've realized there are valentines soon... Everything's clear now... It seems it's peak time to get laid xD


It's kind of funny because friend asked me do I want to cook with her at my place. I said "sure". After 1.5 week she asked: "You said "sure" but you don't give a **** about it and don't want to hang out, right?" I give her a bit longer response and I said I would just say: "no thanks" if I wouldn't want to do it I just don't have time for it. She send me message that she would go with me to sauna and swimming pool, after I did coaching with student I phoned to her and schedule a meeting at Wednesday. It's kind of funny that I don't have time on most things but I'll always find some time for physical activities.

btw this hand.... xD

BB: 44.95 BB
Hero (SB): 100 BB

Hero posts SB 0.5 BB, BB posts BB 1 BB

Pre Flop: (pot: 1.5 BB) Hero has 7 8

Hero raises to 2 BB, BB calls 1 BB

Flop: (4 BB, 2 players) 7 K 2
BB checks, Hero bets 2.53 BB, BB calls 2.53 BB

Turn: (9.06 BB, 2 players) 6
BB checks, Hero bets 5.87 BB, BB calls 5.87 BB

River: (20.8 BB, 2 players) K
BB bets 34.55 BB and is all-in, Hero calls 34.55 BB

BB shows 9 7 (Two Pair, Kings and Sevens) (Pre 70%, Flop 68%, Turn 86%)
Hero shows 7 8 (Two Pair, Kings and Sevens) (Pre 30%, Flop 32%, Turn 14%)
BB wins 89.65 BB

Maybe this downswing is gone, we will see, last 5k hands:

Got totally powned by one guy today. He's graph:

He has 40% 3bet after 250 hands


iPoker - €2 NL (2 max) - Holdem - 2 players

Hero (SB): 92.9 BB
BB: 110.23 BB (VPIP: 76.42, PFR: 31.13, 3Bet Preflop: 32.14, Hands: 106)

Hero posts SB 0.5 BB, BB posts BB 1 BB

Pre Flop: (pot: 1.5 BB) Hero has J T

Hero raises to 3 BB, BB raises to 5 BB, Hero calls 2 BB

Flop: (10 BB, 2 players) 8 T 7
BB bets 10 BB, Hero calls 10 BB

Turn: (30 BB, 2 players) T
BB bets 30 BB, Hero calls 30 BB

River: (90 BB, 2 players) 5
BB bets 29 BB, Hero raises to 47.9 BB, BB calls 18.9 BB

Hero mucks J T (Three of a Kind, Tens) (Pre 32%, Flop 27%, Turn 23%)
BB shows T A (Three of a Kind, Tens) (Pre 68%, Flop 73%, Turn 77%)
BB wins 185.3 BB


iPoker - €2 NL (2 max) - Holdem - 2 players
Hand converted by PokerTracker 4

Hero (SB): 115 BB
BB: 183.63 BB (VPIP: 76.74, PFR: 34.88, 3Bet Preflop: 38.24, Hands: 129)

Hero posts SB 0.5 BB, BB posts BB 1 BB

Pre Flop: (pot: 1.5 BB) Hero has 3 4

Hero raises to 2 BB, BB raises to 3 BB, Hero calls 1 BB

Flop: (6 BB, 2 players) 3 A 6
BB bets 6 BB, Hero calls 6 BB

Turn: (18 BB, 2 players) 4
BB checks, Hero bets 14.4 BB, BB calls 14.4 BB

River: (46.8 BB, 2 players) 2
BB bets 64 BB, Hero calls 64 BB

Hero mucks 3 4 (Two Pair, Fours and Threes) (Pre 39%, Flop 54%, Turn 68%)
BB shows 5 4 (Straight, Six High) (Pre 61%, Flop 46%, Turn 32%)
BB wins 174.3 BB


iPoker - €2 NL (2 max) - Holdem - 2 players
Hand converted by PokerTracker 4

Hero (SB): 100.5 BB
BB: 271.71 BB (VPIP: 75.35, PFR: 32.39, 3Bet Preflop: 36.49, Hands: 142)

Hero posts SB 0.5 BB, BB posts BB 1 BB

Pre Flop: (pot: 1.5 BB) Hero has T 6

Hero raises to 2 BB, BB raises to 3 BB, Hero calls 1 BB

Flop: (6 BB, 2 players) T 4 3
BB bets 6 BB, Hero calls 6 BB

Turn: (18 BB, 2 players) A
BB checks, Hero checks

River: (18 BB, 2 players) T
BB bets 39 BB, Hero calls 39 BB

Hero mucks T 6 (Three of a Kind, Tens) (Pre 36%, Flop 57%, Turn 0%)
BB shows Q 7 (Flush, Ace High) (Pre 64%, Flop 43%, Turn 100%)
BB wins 95.5 BB


iPoker - €2 NL (2 max) - Holdem - 2 players
Hand converted by PokerTracker 4

Hero (SB): 128.6 BB
BB: 58.65 BB (VPIP: 76.47, PFR: 31.37, 3Bet Preflop: 31.48, Hands: 102)

Hero posts SB 0.5 BB, BB posts BB 1 BB

Pre Flop: (pot: 1.5 BB) Hero has K J

Hero raises to 3 BB, BB raises to 5 BB, Hero calls 2 BB

Flop: (10 BB, 2 players) T 2 6
BB checks, Hero checks

Turn: (10 BB, 2 players) J
BB bets 10 BB, Hero calls 10 BB

River: (30 BB, 2 players) 7
BB bets 30 BB, Hero calls 30 BB

Hero mucks K J (One Pair, Jacks) (Pre 26%, Flop 13%, Turn 7%)
BB shows J A (One Pair, Jacks) (Pre 74%, Flop 87%, Turn 93%)
BB wins 89.5 BB


iPoker - €2 NL (2 max) - Holdem - 2 players
Hand converted by PokerTracker 4

Hero (SB): 160.38 BB
BB: 29.45 BB (VPIP: 77.27, PFR: 32.95, 3Bet Preflop: 31.91, Hands: 88)

Hero posts SB 0.5 BB, BB posts BB 1 BB

Pre Flop: (pot: 1.5 BB) Hero has 8 7

Hero raises to 2 BB, BB calls 1 BB

Flop: (4 BB, 2 players) 3 6 7
BB bets 4 BB, Hero calls 4 BB

Turn: (12 BB, 2 players) 6
BB bets 12 BB, Hero raises to 24 BB, BB calls 11.45 BB

River: (58.9 BB, 2 players) 8

Hero shows 8 7 (Two Pair, Eights and Sevens) (Pre 41%, Flop 81%, Turn 5%)
BB shows 6 J (Three of a Kind, Sixes) (Pre 59%, Flop 19%, Turn 95%)
Hero wins 0.55 BB
BB wins 58.4 BB


iPoker - €2 NL (2 max) - Holdem - 2 players
Hand converted by PokerTracker 4

Hero (SB): 96.68 BB
BB: 320.21 BB (VPIP: 74.03, PFR: 31.82, 3Bet Preflop: 37.50, Hands: 154)

Hero posts SB 0.5 BB, BB posts BB 1 BB

Pre Flop: (pot: 1.5 BB) Hero has 4 K

Hero raises to 2 BB, BB raises to 3 BB, Hero calls 1 BB

Flop: (6 BB, 2 players) K 2 3
BB bets 1 BB, Hero raises to 7.2 BB, BB calls 6.2 BB

Turn: (20.4 BB, 2 players) 8
BB checks, Hero bets 16.32 BB, BB calls 16.32 BB

River: (53.04 BB, 2 players) Q
BB checks, Hero checks

Hero mucks 4 K (One Pair, Kings) (Pre 31%, Flop 20%, Turn 7%)
BB shows T K (One Pair, Kings) (Pre 69%, Flop 80%, Turn 93%)
BB wins 52.54 BB

What a day. Had few things to do so I didn't eat for like 20 hours. I also waste 2 hours at my stomatologist. While going to visit my father two cops catch me while I was walking on the street on red light... I had only two thoughts, first one was "kick their asses" second one was "kick their asses and run" I told to myself "You got worse coolers than that, rich people know how to handle their emotions" Long story short we were talking a bit and I didn't pay a ticket. Lucky me that I knew how to adapt to them. There were funny questions "What do you do" I had sooo big urge to tell them: "I am a professional gambler, I play poker for living, why do you ask?" To question "What was you thinking about this whole time?" I wanted to replay "I was fighting in cooler games with fish in my mind" Anyway I am glad that I didn't pay a ticket, I am glad that I was handling myself and could evade ticket.



Very f'cking tiered and graph for today:

#5 do threesome

best goal ITT

GL mate nice work on body transofrmation also :d

@squire1888
Haha thanks. Yeah I am very very glad with changes in my life for last year.


This month so far:

So far best winning day in my life. I have to relax because I am pretty tilted. MY mindset improved a lot. In second session I lost 5 BI to one guy, he was terrible I was keep playing with him and get everything back in just 300 hands... Today was playing like crazy mofo so I am tiled as hell because I have headache still I am very happy with today. Tomorrow I'll rest

Kind of sad that I used to spent so little time on working on my game. I see sooooo much things I still can improve. I did it but it wasn't enough and I was doing session review in a wrong way. Now I am also more prepared to Gordon's coaching. I am very glad that I changed my approach and changed my behaviors.

Was procrastinating this post for like 2 weeks. Had a lot of reflections about innocence. First Sunday of this month I felt huge urge to listen this song:


"Snow is crackling cold,
She took my heart, I think she took my soul
With the moon I run,
Far from the carnage of the fiery sun"

This song is pretty important for me. I used to listen it whenever I felt abandoned. I used to listen it whenever something screw up with chick and stop dating or I have to tell chick to GTFO because I couldn’t accept something. I used to listen this song whenever I felt emotional pain and want to get numb. I still remember walking in the rain listening this track over and over again for three hours. While listening it two Sunday ago I remind myself few things and I laughed. I remember one girl. I used to know her for quite a while. I still remember that she was virgin and she was wearing most unsexy underwear women can wear. She was very innocent. Anyway after year and half we end up in bed. (to be more specifc on the chair, on the table and on the countertop. She wasn’t shy nor innocent anylonger. She changed huge unsexy underwear to underwear from sexshop. She even showed me how to use tie (if you know what I mean .
I still remember when I pretend that I didn’t read her message on FaceBook. She wrote to me something like that: “blah, blah, blah”, “blah, blah, blah”, “I am romantic girl who likes BDSM” We were at bus and I start reading her message out loud. I start at “blah, blah, blah” and was going to read about how romantic she is but she covered my mouth. She didn’t let me read it in bus. I had great time but she gave me a caution that my balls are in danger so I stopped xD

I was thinking that she growed so fast then I realized that I am not so innocent either. I was laughing because I understood it’s much worse with me. Few years ago I was looking at girls like for goddess. Latter on I was treating them normal, right now I am kind of curious and want to know them better. I used to think that when they have pretty nice face, gorgeous long legs and perfect ass I don’t need to know anything more and I should meet them. Once I’ve read “When you go out to meet a women you are in danger zone, some of them cheat on you, some of them will steal from you, some of them will do some **** to you, list of ****ed up women goes on and on” I thought what the **** is he talking about. One year later I learned life… xD

I was ****ed and left (Women told me she want relationship to do ONS and leave me, I always thought it’s only man thing xD) One stole cash from me when we were sleeping together at my apartment. I meet Gold Digger that want to take advantage of my bankroll. I meat a women who were blackmailing that she will tell all my secrets or she will tell any friend on FB some **** about me. I get to know prostitute (not in job) and I realized it’s pretty hard to find out what that they are prostitutes. I’ve had some „adventures” this year xD

Everything was price for new experience, innocence was one of them. Most often from worst experience you get most value. You can disaggre but it is how it is. You just become stronger. Life is life. People close to you die, your parents die, you get cheated, you get robbed, you fall in love in manipulating bitch. It’s part of life. You have to get those experience to grow, when you try to evade all those problems you won’t live at all. I am glad I had it.

Anywy I had an issue with Monitor. People from shop told me they don’t give me money back because there is scratch on it. I send them two mails and long story short they gave me money back. I am very glad about it because it seems I improved at negotiating,

This month so far:


I was going to write that I can take two more students. Kind of funny that while I was writing post on English blog one guy from Polish community asked me on skype about coaching probably because he read blog post. So it’s only one place left. I am very glad that everything is better and better.

Pretty glad with today game. Was running like ****. Srsly my standard cbet Flop is around 70%. At one table I had 20% after 50 hands. Just couldn't hit right board or hand. Thousand of coolers but was playing pretty fine. I am very happy with today.

hey buddy i ve been checking ur thread since the beginning. Maybe I missed that but where in Poland do you live? Im going to Lodz for a few months as from April and I m seeking poker adventures over there and why not grind with you if you are around!

Let me know, cheers

@lil.j
Hey. I live in Warsaw it's not that faaar away. It's like 1.5h in bus I think. If you are going to visit capitol of Poland you can let me know




The same ****ing worthless piss of **** joined my table again. I would love to meet him in real life.....


He's winrate:




iPoker - €2 NL (2 max) - Holdem - 2 players
Hand converted by PokerTracker 4

Hero (SB): 107.42 BB
BB: 196.71 BB (VPIP: 71.89, PFR: 31.89, 3Bet Preflop: 38.54, Hands: 185)

Hero posts SB 0.5 BB, BB posts BB 1 BB

Pre Flop: (pot: 1.5 BB) Hero has 2 2

Hero raises to 2 BB, BB calls 1 BB

Flop: (4 BB, 2 players) 4 Q A
BB checks, Hero bets 2 BB, BB calls 2 BB

Turn: (8 BB, 2 players) 2
BB checks, Hero bets 20 BB, BB raises to 68 BB, Hero raises to 103.42 BB, BB calls 35.42 BB

River: (214.83 BB, 2 players) 8

Hero mucks 2 2 (Three of a Kind, Twos) (Pre 52%, Flop 67%, Turn 23%)
BB shows 5 3 (Straight, Five High) (Pre 48%, Flop 33%, Turn 77%)
BB wins 214.33 BB

iPoker - €2 NL (2 max) - Holdem - 2 players
Hand converted by PokerTracker 4

Hero (SB): 90.68 BB
BB: 108.52 BB (VPIP: 74.68, PFR: 31.65, 3Bet Preflop: 37.35, Hands: 158)

Hero posts SB 0.5 BB, BB posts BB 1 BB

Pre Flop: (pot: 1.5 BB) Hero has Q A

Hero raises to 3 BB, BB raises to 5 BB, Hero calls 2 BB

Flop: (10 BB, 2 players) Q K 5
BB bets 10 BB, Hero calls 10 BB

Turn: (30 BB, 2 players) 8
BB bets 30 BB, Hero calls 30 BB

River: (90 BB, 2 players) K
BB bets 35 BB, Hero calls 35 BB

Hero mucks Q A (Two Pair, Kings and Queens) (Pre 59%, Flop 25%, Turn 11%)
BB shows J K (Three of a Kind, Kings) (Pre 41%, Flop 75%, Turn 89%)
BB wins 159.5 BB



BB: 57.45 BB (VPIP: 72.73, PFR: 54.55, 3Bet Preflop: 50.00, Hands: 11)
Hero (SB): 86.6 BB

Hero posts SB 0.5 BB, BB posts BB 1 BB

Pre Flop: (pot: 1.5 BB) Hero has 9 Q

Hero raises to 2 BB, BB raises to 7 BB, Hero calls 5 BB

Flop: (14 BB, 2 players) 5 Q 5
BB checks, Hero checks

Turn: (14 BB, 2 players) T
BB checks, Hero bets 8.75 BB, BB calls 8.75 BB

River: (31.5 BB, 2 players) Q
BB checks, Hero bets 22.5 BB, BB raises to 41.7 BB, Hero calls 19.2 BB

Hero shows 9 Q (Full House, Queens full of Fives) (Pre 50%, Flop 0%, Turn 0%)
BB shows 5 5 (Four of a Kind, Fives) (Pre 50%, Flop 100%, Turn 100%)
BB wins 114.4 BB

I didn't want to check my results for a week but because of him.......

Today I decided to write a post in the morning. It's kind of funny that yesterday I was like little angry child. I was tilted for very long time, it was like 10 min.... xD In 30 min I was grinding again, unfortunately couldn't do anything and achieved stoplose. When you run bad, you run bad, it's a poker. Anyway I won't check my results until end of the month. I am curious about it.

Funny thing. I've checked Facebook because I've got few emails. My ex was stalking me and she liked and shared posts from 2012 and 2011. I even forget I posted those things xD

Crazy how much you progressed in one year! Really looking up to you pokerwise

Btw, I saw in the OP you take personal coaching with Gordon, isn't that like 500$/h?

Do you mind sharing your SN (esp on ipoker)

@CryMeARiver17
Thanks. Yeah it's Gordon's hourly. We have coaching for profit deal.

@lil.j
I mind. I don't share those info. Feel free to contact me if you are going to visit Warsaw.

Very happy with my work. I am working more than ever before. I learn more then ever before and I have more free time than ever before. Since two weeks I am much more effective. I have to write down on my desktop that I can't play with morons who thinks about each hand for 20 sec. Don't know how many times I wrote this on blog.... I guess it's third time. Anyway he tilted me and I spazzed. Even most aggressive opponent can't make me tilt so badly to do spazz but those ****tards who waste my time by thinking about each hands for 20-30 sec are really my pain in the ass. I'll just leave them right away.

I think Saturday was pretty bad. I was tilted like hell because I got powned by guy who called preflop 92%, fold flop cbet 18% and Turn cbet 25%. He won like 2-3 stacks from me. I was tilted so I spewed some money after I lost 4th big pot to him. My friend took me for part, I was a bit drunk and it was the only reason why I went with her xD

I gave an ass. Didn't drink for a while so I forgot how much I should drink. I drank almost whole bottle of whiskey, some mojito and some other crap. Yesterday moving to toilet was hard like hell. Today I had a lot of work because I didn't make anything at Sunday. Drinking is not for me. I waste 1 whole day, 2 days from gym and 3 days from diet. Too big waste of the time and of energy for me. I am glad I remind myself why I don't drink.

Today was not better. I didn't spew or anything, just had deadrun then some cooler, then some deadrun then some hit and runners. Long story short I was losing pot after pot and then some. I am so ****ing curious about my results this month but I have to stay strong. I can't check it until the end of month.

Hi man, i have read all your thread from the start, and have enjoyed it very much ! It also inspired me for some stuff, thanks for sharing thoughts and different aha moments, also thanks for habitrpg.com - amazing stuff ) for geeks though. It is great you develop and do it pretty fast, esp. resulting well in non poker aspects of your life, it is very important and many players lack that.

As for poker i think your key problems are tilt related, you see, most of your topics include stuff like "spewed X BI to ... " "Tilted like monkey". Even the last one after already long period of serious grind, and moving up in stakes. Being a poker pro myself of course i know a lot about tilt , and that it's inevitable, (esp. after mixing some plo and hu games after "boring" 6max). However i don't see you progress that much (enough) in terms of tilt control. You have definitely heard of 80/20 concept , imo your major breakthrough would be if you managed your tilt/ decrease it a lot in your game. i mean did you have weeks+ period of times when you felt you managed to play your A/A+ game, weeks without spewing off even 1 BI ? And this should become more of a norm if you want to become better ) GL at the tables, gym and cheeks ))

@MightyNuts

Thanks for feedback and for nice words! Btw I start using habbit rpg once again. It was very bugged but now it works well. When it comes to tilt I improved a lot. When I write I tilted it means I get angry it doesn't mean I spewed money. My spews aren't that bad I mean should do something different but eg. Villain donks to me 80% of the time I get frustated on the Turn there are two Flush Draws and 3 suited board. I know that he can call me with some weak crap but I am shoving. It's not thaaaaat bad but I wouldn't do it even on short without anger.

I am a guy who was tilting like crazy mo-fo. I literally threw chair at the wall, three times. I literally did a hole in a wall. Destroyed like 15 keyboards, almost destroyed my laptop, destroyed wardrobe, destroyed 10 shakers, desk, chair and many other things. Still I didn't tilt at tables that much because I was crushing everything around. Right now my roommate didn't realize I had 50k break even stretch for last 1.5 month. I don't tilt outside that much, sometimes I swear a lot but I don't crush things anymore but I start tilted like 6x open or 8x open. Sometimes I raise opponents bigger than I should or do some lighter plays even that I shouldn't. Still I think I manage my tilt not that bad. I mean it's not ideal but it's waaaaay more better that it was. Thanks again for feedback




Today I got seriously annoyed. I have two ppl who are always saying: "With your English", "Is it possible with your English?", "He's English is almost as lame as your" I am ****ing done. I had to change my new year goals. I am going to work on my English for at least 30 min a day as long as I live in Poland. I don't want to hear this phrase ever again in year from now. It reminds me frustration I had when I was doing one year drug and alcohol break. Many people told me I can't do it, I am going to fail. They say: "stop saying BS, come drink with us". Almost to all of them I said the same thing "**** you! You are going talk the talk and not walk the walk, but not me. You'll see". I won. It's going to be the same way cuz I feel the same frustration once again.

Today I had headache. I was playing my normal session because pain is not an excuse for me. Impact was pretty visible but still I am very happy with my results. I felt like **** but did my thing.