Thanks man, good luck to you too

seems very reasonable and conservative. going to be EZ

I didn't choose poker because it was the conservative and easy option

On another note, the grind is starting to take a toll on me. When I go to bed, I don't really sleep. I just play cards in my dreams for a few hours, and I wake up exhausted. I think I need to be exercising more. It's tough to wake up tired and then go for a run/play some basketball, but it's exactly what I need to be doing to break out of this cycle of playing cards until I'm exhausted, sleep, repeat.

I do take time every day, both in the morning and at night, to relax and decompress. And I take time nearly every day to reflect on the day/week/month and how I feel I'm doing at achieving the various personal/poker goals I have, which I think is a necessary part of keeping oneself accountable and making real progress in growing as a person.

Lately though, I'm feeling a bit overwhelmed and lost about what I want to do with my life moving forward. I have dirt cheap rent right now, but my lease is up in August. I live in Sacramento, but I'd rather live closer to San Francisco. The problem is that the cheapest rent in SF is 3-4k/month (if you can find a place at all), and even surrounding cities are 2-3k (for a room in someone's house, or a studio if you're lucky). Been looking at places in Portland and LA (both still expensive as hell), but moving out to either of those places would be both exciting and scary, as I don't know anyone in either.

I've also been giving a lot of thought to how poker began as my escape. Instead of going to class I could fire up some tables and feel more productive, while also having fun. I could forget about my family problems by losing myself in math and theory (and it was math and theory I could use right away, and see the results of, not equations in a textbook) I could blow off my responsibilities but feel like I was building a future for myself through poker.

And yeah, I was. But now that I've been playing full time for almost a year, it's not an escape anymore. It's the daily grind. The novelty has worn off (big shocker, no one told me that would happen). It's still fun, and it's still challenging, but it's not new and exciting. Now I find myself, on my days off or when I'm bored, looking for something else as an escape. And I'm not sure what. Video games, the escape of my teenage years, feel like a waste of time when I could be getting paid to play a video game. Netflix only has so many shows to watch. I need a new hobby, something outside of poker that I'm passionate about.

I'm rambling now, but since this thread is basically my poker blog I figured I'd put some of how I'm feeling into words. Maybe it will help me work through all this. Maybe it will help someone else work through similar stuff. Or maybe I just enjoy rambling. Probably the latter

Portland is a really cool place you'd love it and probaly have no prob fitting in and meeting people as youre a fellow budsmoker. No sales tax there which is a plus but it rains and rains and rains from november through may, all the rain makes it stunning tho in many places in OR the rest of the year. Live poker there is good at the clubs(justa door fee to get in and no rake all day) but it also might be too low for you stakes wise unless you make some connections and get into some bigger private games which do run there. I like portland better but of the 2 LA would be the better place for you because of poker and youre also just a few hr drive to vegas if you wanna go play some donkaments.


Sounds like you do need to excercise more and find a little bit better balance between life and poker. Dont know your personal situation but you didnt mention females at all, if you already arent you should be goin out and meetin lotsa girls, dont need to get all serious or married with em, just need to bring down the hammer kid hahaha. Finding some other passion outside of poker while its your profession will go a long way into making you alot happier person overall

Maybe when you have extra money and time, you can consider any ventures which will provide passive income (real estate investing, video blogs about your poker journey live and online on Youtube and etc.). There is an excellent thread in 2p2 about real estate investing i can share, if you are interested. If you do well enough, you may not have to play poker for a living in the future.

Life is short and you only live once. Good luck.

I would definitely have to get used to the rain, seeing as I'm from California haha. But it is beautiful there, and I love to hike and camp so I think I could live with it. And I could live without live poker - I just play the occasional donkament for fun. Living within driving distance from the Commerce/Bike does sound pretty nice though, not gunna lie.

I agree about needing to better balance life and poker. On top of that, I've also been putting a lot of thought into what I actually want to do with my life, because it's not poker. I love playing poker, but I don't want my life to just be about a game. It was always expected by my family that I would go to law school after college, and I've been putting a lot of thought into whether that's something I want to pursue. For a while I just thought that's what I was going to do and there wasn't much of a choice. Then at some point I realized I did have a choice, and without much thought decided I didn't want to be a lawyer... but I feel like I need to reassess.

In regards to girls - I've never mentioned it here because it's never been brought up - but I'm not into the ladies

Yeah, I've already been doing this. Well, putting thought into it at least. I will probably be starting a Twitch stream in the next month or two. I have to look into it more, but I'd like to start streaming when I play big MTT's. On the fence about whether streaming cash is worth giving strategy away free.

Once I have the money I'd love to buy some real estate, but 10-20% down on a property in California is 30-60k minimum. That's my entire bankroll most days lol. I'd love to learn more about real estate investing though, so yeah please link the thread

https://forumserver.twoplustwo.com/3...vesting-99351/

The whole SF area "housing calamity" is a bit overblown imo.
I was looking around for a room here in January (this year) and saw a couple decent places (one was really nice) in the Mission/SOMA areas, and that was just from CL, with no connections.
I think if you're a couple out looking to get your own place, that's one thing, because that puts you on the housing market at large, but if you're just a single individual, I think there are decent options for finding a rent-controlled room with people that aren't looking to profit. (Not saying it's easy).
Like 4-5 years ago there was a big housing rush but I think things have settled down a bit lately.

I moved into Baker Beach Apartments (across from Baker Beach) a month ago and pay like $750 everything included for a LARGE room. That is NOT market rent, we have some special subsidized deal because my roommate works full time in the Presidio.
It's a pretty nice semi-urban experience, 10 mins or less drive to anything you could want, but walking distance to the beach and tons of hiking trails etc.

Moving to a bigger city like LA would be tough imo as a poker player, hard enough to develop a social life as a grinder as it is, and in a city that size most ppl our age already have their social networks sort of developed. Easier to get by in a mid size city where people are active/go outdoors a lot. Portland > LA for lifestyle imo.

Sounds like you got really lucky dude. I'd move to SF tomorrow if I could find a room for $750/mo. I've been looking off and on for a year and I've never seen anything that cheap, on craigslist or elsewhere, or even through word of mouth. I did find an interesting rental option though: $900/month to live in someone's van: https://sfbay.craigslist.org/sfc/apa...551208677.html

Or how about hotel living w/o a kitchen and with a shared bathroom for the steal of $1200/month!: https://sfbay.craigslist.org/sfc/apa...551686851.html

I have a few friends who live in San Francisco, and I'm actually going out there on Friday to hang out for a couple days. The thing is, if any of them found a decent bedroom that is around 1k/month they would take it for themselves. They're all working full time and still living in their parent's houses because they don't want to leave San Francisco. I'm keeping my eyes open and ear to the ground, but not getting my hopes up.

I agree with you about it being very difficult to establish a social life in a big city (or really anywhere new) at this age. San Francisco would be ideal because I already have friends there, and basically all of my friends and family live in the surrounding Bay Area. But, I also like the idea of getting out of my comfort zone and going somewhere that is completely new to me, where I don't know anyone. It's scary, but exciting

Yeah those SROs are lol, always $1100/1200 and with shared bathroom/kitchen/etc.

Well good luck, sounds like you're on top of it. One thing I learned when I was searching is for some reason SF housing search market is dominated by Facebook groups, i.e. "Bay Area Conscious Community Housing Board" has >50k members, there are lots of posts in there, rooms wanted/rooms offered.

I would encourage you to take some time off from poker and just relax for a bit. It can be a week, a month, a few months or longer even. It’s so important to have space to think and be with whatever emotions we’ve been suppressing during the grind. Burnout is real and it’s not fun.

No body is putting pressure on you to play poker except yourself. You don’t have to do anything involving money or success.

Breaks can give us perspective and consider our lives with perspective.

Best of luck.

100% agree with all of this. Most of the pressure I feel to play comes from the uncertainty of how long the games will be this soft. Tons of guys who crushed in the early 2000's can't beat the games now. I think I'm smart enough to adapt as players get better, but I worry about the fact that the average skill level is constantly going up and the skill gap is getting wider and wider.

Is there a point at which new players just won't jump into a game because it's too tough to be fun? I don't know, but sometimes when I outplay a fish and get to showdown it triggers this bit of anxiety in me that I just gave him a lesson in poker - albeit not a free one. It worries me that next time (or eventually) it won't work.

Of course, a lot of people just don't get better, only get marginally better over large samples, or don't even want to get better at poker. I think I worry too much.

I appreciate the advice. I just played a short session yesterday and today(+5 buyins in 1k hands, yay). Took a lot of time to think about a lot of stuff. Also been trying to get out and be more active. Biked 10 miles yesterday, 16 miles today. Going to make it a goal of mine to cycle at least 30 miles a week from now on.

I forgot about FB groups - going to look into that, thanks

Been sick since monday, so haven't played much this week. Played just over 1k hands I think, won a couple buyins. Feeling much better today. Going to Vegas tomorrow with family and I'm hoping to get in a few hours at the tables while I'm there. If not I may go to LA for a session at the commerce on the drive back. Haven't played live cash in a while so should be a lot of fun. Will update with results. Also going to degen a bit at blackjack and craps.

been following you for awhile now. Havent posted lately but I'm glad to see you're doing well and still making profit. Keep up the good work man you got peeps rooting for ya.

Thanks tensor.

I'm ****ing back. Got sick again after Vegas, so I haven't played in a while. Feels really weird to go so long without seeing a hand, but I feel great. well rested, mental game feels right, gunna crush today

wasn't even in this hand, but it's nice to see that the games are still good

iPoker - $2 NL (6 max) - Holdem - 6 players
Hand converted by PokerTracker 4

SB: 116.45 BB (VPIP: 60.00, PFR: 0.00, 3Bet Preflop: 0.00, Hands: 5)
BB: 33.43 BB (VPIP: 80.00, PFR: 20.00, 3Bet Preflop: 0.00, Hands: 5)
Hero (UTG): 101.4 BB
MP: 22 BB (VPIP: 50.00, PFR: 25.00, 3Bet Preflop: 0.00, Hands: 4)
CO: 94.5 BB (VPIP: 20.00, PFR: 0.00, 3Bet Preflop: 0.00, Hands: 5)
BTN: 45 BB (VPIP: 100.00, PFR: 0.00, 3Bet Preflop: 0.00, Hands: 2)

SB posts SB 0.5 BB, BB posts BB 1 BB

Pre Flop: (pot: 1.5 BB) Hero has J 5

fold, fold, fold, fold, SB raises to 2 BB, BB calls 1 BB

Flop: (4 BB, 2 players) 4 9 J
SB bets 2 BB, BB raises to 4 BB, SB calls 2 BB

Turn: (12 BB, 2 players) 4
SB bets 5 BB, BB raises to 15 BB, SB calls 10 BB

River: (42 BB, 2 players) 4
SB bets 95.45 BB, BB calls 12.43 BB

SB shows A 6 (Three of a Kind, Fours)

SB wins 147.88 BB


BB had Q3dd

Well, I didn't end up playing much this last week. Only 800 hands, and less than 10k hands in April. Gotta do better. I did play a donkament for fun yesterday... $300/30k GT, just min cashed it for a couple hundred profit

It's been a semi-productive week outside of poker. Been exercising pretty much every day, but my bike got stolen out of my garage when I was in Vegas, so it's just been basketball/walking. I'll probably buy a new bike, but not sure if I want to wait until I know where I'm moving in August.

Also been getting out more, socializing more. Feels good, but also takes a lot of time and energy. I definitely have a limited amount of social energy - going out too much is draining and makes me feel like ****, but obviously not going out at all is extremely depressing. I also need to figure out how to hang out with other gay guys... I spend all my time with straight guys/girls, which is fine, but I don't mind getting laid occasionally lol. Problem is, I don't like going to the club or dancing, and I don't have any gay friends (grew up in an ultra-religious/conservative environment) and don't even get me started on hookup apps lol

Besides that, I'm really working on living a balanced life. When I exercise a few times a week, hang out with friends at least once a week, and don't eat too much fast food I feel pretty good - but keeping it up isn't easy. I have to constantly reminding myself how much better it feels to play basketball than to watch netflix.

Hopefully going to be back on the grind this week... but who knows, I'm really working on living a more healthy and balanced lifestyle, so I'm fine with poker taking a backseat to that

Had a good session yesterday at 200nl. ~1000 hands, +4 buyins.

Decided to play a little live 2/5 tonight and holy balls I forgot how fun live poker can be. Everyone was drinking and having a good time, the straddle was on every hand, 4-5 ways to most flops, and fit/fold opponents. What more can you ask for? Ended up staying there for basically 9 hours and won 3.1k

Still not playing online. Just haven't been feeling like it at all. I did put in a session of live 10/20 on Tuesday night. It was a really good game with over 60k on the table, but I ended up just winning 1.1k over a 10 hour session. Still felt good to book a win though. Also felt good to see that the 10/20 regs are worse than the regs I'm used to playing at 200nl.

Live poker is so much less work than online, in every way. I can play 10+ hours live and not feel all that tired after, but anything over 4 hours online is exhausting. I've also really been enjoying the social aspect of live poker lately. Who knows, maybe I'll be a live pro? Right now I'm just trying to do what makes me happy

Besides poker I've been living a lot healthier. Been exercising 4-5 times a week, eating healthier, hanging out with friends or family every day, and spending a lot of time thinking about what I want my future to look like, and how to get there. Also had a couple of fun and at times insightful trips. I'm feeling really good about life

Live poker prob more fun for you right now because it's new and fresh. I'd imagine you will end up disliking the aspects of live poker vs online in the end, but who knows you may enjoy being a live pro more. In general you will prob need a bigger bankroll and have to play bigger stakes and have bigger $ swings to have the same hourly though. Not to mention having to spend lots of time in casinos/any travel time/and downswings feeling like they last forever because of the low volume of hands.

Probably. I played a lot of live poker a couple years ago and I liked it at first, but it quickly got boring. There are a couple differences though: I'm a much better player now, so I can play laggier and not sit and wait for the top 15% of hands like I did in my nit days. Also, the games I've been playing in have been really social and a lot of fun besides the poker, so if that continues I can see myself continuing to enjoy playing a moderate amount of live poker (maybe 20-30 hours/week).

Yeah, I definitely will need to play higher, but I think that the bigger edge in live poker allows me to play with a smaller roll than online. Online I like to have at least 50 buyins for a stake, but live I feel comfortable with 30.

Luckily I live within 15 minutes of 3 casinos, and within ~hour of a dozen or so, so game selection isn't much of a problem. And (for now at least) I enjoy traveling.

The low volume of hands is my biggest concern. 1k hands/week would take 35-40 hours, and 50k+ hand BE stretches aren't uncommon. Can't imagine playing 5/10 all year full time and breaking even or losing because I can't put in enough volume to beat the variance.

Then again, I could just sun run for a whole year

Booked another small win last night. Just ~$100 over 8 hours, but it's nice to win.

Played 2/5/10 most of the session, but the table wasn't very social or fun tonight. Reminded me of why I dislike the casino usually; there were 3 nits who didn't say a word the entire time, 1 of whom would stand up and leave for 20 minutes anytime he won any size pot. There were 3 other "regs" trying to win, although they weren't particularly good.

And then there were the 2 fish. While I go there for the fish, I always feel bad when it seems like they really need the money and shouldn't be playing with it. I hate to see guys throw away money in amounts that are really affecting them without any control. I feel somewhat complicit in their gambling problem. The last couple trips the fish have been business owners/retirees with a lot of money and a lot of gamble. They lose 2k pots and chuckle and rebuy. They know how to lose and still have a good time.

The guys who lose their "last 300" (after losing their last 300-1000 many times that night), sulk for a few minutes, and then impulsively hit the atm or get a cash advance - they make me feel pretty bad. I know I can't stop them, and they would probably gamble that money elsewhere if they weren't playing poker, but I still feel somewhat guilty for being a part of it. As one of the fish hurriedly left at almost midnight last night he says, "I didn't realize I could only keep my kids in daycare 8 hours, woops." Really dude? You're playing 8 hours of poker instead of spending time with your kids? That's kinda sick imo.

Anyway, I haven't posted a hand in a while so here's an interesting one from last night.

Button has $500, I cover. Straddle to 10 is on

I open A10cc in the cutoff to 45. Button calls, one blind calls and we go to the flop 3 ways.

Flop is Kc6x6x (140 pot)

I bet 65, button calls, blind folds.

Turn Kx (270)

Check, check

River 3x. (270)

I jam for ~400 effective, button says good bet, I can't call with anything. Shows my 76hh and folds.

I would likely trap some Kx on the turn, so I think my line was believable. I knew he would fold 77-1010 rather quickly, and I suspected he would fold a 6 a lot of the time based on how he had played previous hands (very loose passive pre, very nit passive post). He was sitting next to me all night and had showed me a couple very bad/tight folds already

I'm learning that overbluffing in live poker prints (in the bigger games). People give up soooo easy it's crazy. I've had people fold top pair on the flop to a normal c bet (and show me) twice in the last week because "I'm sure you had an overpair" lol. People are folding QJs in position to 3bets. I haven't yet seen a 4bet bluff by anyone but myself. I've actually only seen one 4bet, and it was Aces obviously. This means I can just 3bet with impunity, and people will just call AKs and check/fold ~66% of the time

Played some more live 2/5 tonight. 5.5 hours, +$800.

Definitely running ok, but mostly just running the table over with 3bets and double/triple barrels. When everyone c/raises 2p+ on the flop and fold top pair to 3 barrels poker is an easy game.

The hustle continues. Played a few big tournaments today and bricked everything.

Cash games were popping today though. Played 1k hands at 500nl, +4.5 buyins. 1.3k hands at 200nl, +5 buyins

Where are u based?

Sacramento. I follow your thread too - saw you may be up at Lucky Chances soon. I'm an hour or two north of that. We have some good casinos - Stones and Thunder Valley are my two favorite, but if I was you I would probably stick to Matrix/San Jose casinos. Games are soft up here too, but there's nothing better than free tech money every night.

If you do you make it up here though let me know, I'll buy you a beer or something. Always cool to hang out with a fellow grinder