Just binged your entire log and I really enjoyed it.
If you have Skype/Discord and want some poker advice, shoot me a PM.
Either way, thanks for the posts.

Thanks man, I appreciate it

A few poker things to note. I guess that Party Poker isn't running the article promotion anymore for the free ticket so my article won't be published. I obviously didn't know this when I wrote it, and I guess the guy that told me they were publishing me didn't know either haha. I think I still might get the ticket, but I'm not too sure yet. Hopefully I get something haha

In my CFP program, the most advanced intermediate student recently left. I would say that there are now maybe three of us in the program putting in serious time and effort, and I am now somehow one of the most senior players in the program. Which is insane haha. I still feel like there is so much I don't know and so much I am doing wrong, but I am at a point where I feel like I have some authority when compared to the newer players and the players not doing a lot to get better. I guess I've been in the program for eight months already, but it really doesn't feel like it's been that long. Interesting dynamic.

As an offset of that, I've also been messaging my coaches and some recent students about some of my frustrations with the program. As the liferoll decreases and I'm looking for ways to continue playing full-time, I have to ask myself if CFP is really the best for me. I have only had one 1-on-1 session with a coach in my entire time there, even though I've tried setting up other ones. It's definitely partially on me for not being more proactive, but when I have been proactive the response hasn't always been what it should be. I understand my coaches are busy, but I'm paying them to coach me, right? Webinars are great but at a certain point it is just retreading material I already have a grasp on, when what I need to work on is more specific to my own game and therefore requires individual attention. I'm sticking with the program for now, I've asked the coaches for more attention, but I am keeping an open mind as to what the best moves in the future for me are. I feel confident that I'm a winning player, but don't know that I'm ready to be on my own yet. We'll see I guess.

Final thing. I was having an absolutely horrible day yesterday until my day saving Party Tourney, an $11 KO. I made it to FT having been a top 10 stack from basically final 200 onwards. I think I knocked out 18 of the 900 or so entrants, so I was sunrunning. Of course I cooled off about F3T and came to FT as a midstack with the biggest bounty, which is when SB made a ridiculous 20bb shove with Q7s and I barely covered him with AKs in BB. And he got there. That was for a decent bounty, a pay jump, and a decent chiplead. So I finished 8th, definitely a hand where I lost hundreds of dollars. Haven't had a beat like that hurt so bad in a while, but I had my five minutes to ***** about it and I've moved on since. Sucks that it happened, but that's variance and that's poker. Hopefully I'll come out on the good end of that hand next time

Got completely **** on today. Lost a few hundred dollars. I made some pretty ****ing horrible calls on a consistent basis and I also just lost in several stupid, unavoidable spots. I was tired all day as well, had my alarm for 6:30 to start playing at 7 only to get a bloody nose a little before 5am that didn't let me fall back asleep. When I booted up my computer, it couldn't find wifi and then got stuck on airplane mode for twenty minutes. Also, posted a hand for discussion in Discord channel for our program and some ***hole commented only to say that he didn't play bounty tourneys and that the community was dead as ****. Very helpful. I let that negativity affect me for the first few hours of play considering I'm having doubts about whether the program is in my best interests anymore. So just a horrible Sunday overall

I grind all of these Sundays and I'm pretty sure the only good Sunday I had was my Bigger $3.30 win. Granted, that was a huge portion of my profits to-date, but I feel like I should be doing better these days and it blows when I blow. Damn. Feels bad man.

I didn't mention this but I am taking care of my friend's cat once again. I'm gonna head over there, give him a good pet, try not to get bit, and binge Nathan For You on their TV. I'm taking tomorrow off, tired af. See ya

Was playing and running horrible today once again, looked like another disaster, and then I FT'd my last tournament to save the day. It's a decent amount, nice to get those losses back. Most significant thing about this is that this seems to be my tournament recently. This is the same tourney I got eighth on Friday. Funnily enough, I FT bubbled this same tourney on Sunday. So my last three results have been 8th, 10th, and 3rd. Without those results, I am not doing too hot this week haha.

Finished July at the top of my program, a profit of 1528 Euros over 156 hours with basically a week off in the middle. Despite not feeling great about how poker's been going since the Big Fish win, I'm still doing pretty okay.

Also, finally got credited the $109 Party ticket. If anyone wants to play against scared money, I registered for the $150k Sunday Big Bounty Hunter. Should be fun

Cashed 2 of 34 tournaments today but I made them count. Nice to get back in the *win* column

Congrats friend, happy to hear it Question : how were the stacks looking when you guys made that chop?

Thanks man! He started heads up with about 4:1 chip lead, when we made the deal I think I had about 35bb and he had 45bb. I turned down the ICM deal and somehow got the equal chop, so I’m happy haha

Finished this most recent two week intense MicroMillions/Monster grind, up a few hundred dollars to show for it. Nothing life changing or moving the needle in a big way, but I'm proud of the hours and volume I put in. My personal goal for MTTs per month at the moment is about 600, but at a certain point I should probably be hitting around 800. 40 hours and 162 MTTs in 4 days are good benchmarks to hit, and it's a pace I'd like to maintain for the future.

That being said, I really haven't spent much time studying in recent months. I've been focused on playing, or I've been focused on Summer, or I wasn't quite sure where to focus my efforts. I'm having another one on one session in a few minutes and am supposed to get two a month as an advanced student (having met volume requirements). Gonna really emphasize on study in the next couple of days, trying to find a gameplan for how to improve and where I can improve. Obviously I am a winning player, but there is still enough of a feeling of "What am I doing?" while playing that there is a lot still to learn.

Finally, I really do need to take my health seriously. That's been something I've wanted to focus on but haven't since the poker journey started. Tbh, my priorities have been 1) mental health, 2) poker game, and 3) physical health. My physical health has been a distant third but it really shouldn't be like that anymore. My horrible diet is really the last remnant of my darker days that I haven't made an effort to change and it's past time I do. A friend was telling me about keto to help lose weight. I've heard about it before, he's apparently done it before, and I think it's something I'm interested in doing. Setting up a health gameplan is also super important for my growth as a player. I want to be in good health for off the felt and also just to be as sharp at the tables as possible. Having a plan for eating on playing days, which might involve preparing gameday meals the night before, will be crucial to my success in trying to improve my diet and lose weight. I want to take some time in the next few days to research it and have a gameplan for healthy eating/poker. If I know what I'm doing and I have a plan, I have a chance of actually sticking to it. It's time for a change, so hopefully I can make it happen

I am helping coach with a poker project he is working on. For payment I am getting more material and more coaching lol. I think that helping him with his project will help me get better, and certainly all of the extra goodies will help as well. That being said, money would’ve been nice too haha. Not sure what his plans are with the project, but if he ends up becoming a billionaire off of it and all I got was free coaching, I might be a little tilted. It probably won’t come to that but you never know. I’m trying not to be naive by expecting the worst so that I can say “I saw it coming” rather than being blindsided like a complete idiot. If I knew it was coming that will make it easier to get over, right?

Also, I am not visually or graphic design gifted, but I was using some sexy colour schemes. Damn, I’m making something that looks good, and I won’t have many opportunities to say that in my life. Here’s hoping my kids are 6s+ and not a 3-4 like me

Heyo, the project is coming along well. I had big plans for studying on my own after the Monster grind but that’s gonna wait until after this is done. Some of the new stuff coach will give me will also help with some of my leaks, so gonna just go bit by bit. Project might take a week or two, put in a solid amount of hours already. Haven’t even done much poker wise yet, it’s just been organizing pages and making sure everything looks good. Monotonous indeed

Putting in this many hours and genuine effort working when someone else is depending on me reminded me of my Safeway days. Safeway was an escape for me to give me time figuring out what I wanted to do with my life. It was also a place to work hard and prove to myself that I had value, that I could contribute after feeling like a leech on society for so many years. One of the nicest things anyone ever said to me was my last day working with my produce manager. He went out of his way to tell me that I was one of the best, hardest working employees he had ever had and if I ever needed a reference all I had to do was ask. As you can imagine, going to Safeway to find my footing and regain some self-esteem, it really meant a lot to have him say that. Something I won’t forget

Reading Molly’s Game as well. Saw the Aaron Sorkin movie a few months ago, made sure to scrutinize every bit of the movie that was so clearly Hollywood magic. Sorkin isn’t known for sticking to the true story. It’s all about the emotional journey of the character, what is true and right for the story, not what the word-for-word facts are. So far I like the book. I keep hearing whispers about a homegame somewhere in rural Sask a few years ago. Someone bought a house in the middle of nowhere, put in a poker table, security cameras, and it became a poker house. Apparently restaurants in town were won and lost routinely at the game. Damn, those must’ve been crazy times. Goodnight!

Someone in my program had a huge score, finishing second place in a $50 tournament a few days ago for almost as much as I've made in profit in eight months lol. Of course it is awesome that he scored huge like that, but I was also a little tilted about it which is silly to say. This is a new guy I had literally heard nothing from in the program, not seeing him in any of the webinars, never having seen him post in any of the groups. In addition, it was honestly kind of insane he was in a $50 tournament to begin with. Apparently he had satellited in for $7, but his bankroll was small enough to begin with that there was no way in hell he should've been playing a satellite to this tournament, probably shouldn't have been playing $7 tournaments to begin with haha. Everyone gave him big congrats when he posted his score, but my eyes immediately went to these bankroll concerns. Finally, I think the last part was a little jealousy on my part at his success lol. Bad bankroll management or not, it is a sick score. Well done

We're going through his HH in a webinar and his game is fairly weak, he is misplaying hands in all scenarios, not following standard course lines. This is of course forgivable as a newer player, but once again what isn't forgivable in my eyes is the BRM. There's just no way he should ever be playing this big. This tournament is way above stakes that I play with a BR that you could at least think about taking a shot or maybe flicking in a satellite. Honestly, I wouldn't even play a satellite to this tournament because it isn't even big enough and even with the satellite I would still be playing too big just when you think long term with how often you get a ticket and actually cash. One or two satellites to a super soft $50? Okay, maybe. But at his BR and skill level, never. Never ever

At the end of the day he won a **** load of money and that's great, but he was also sunrunning and it felt more like gambling than pure skill. If you're playing stakes that are WAY too big it's a problem, no matter what your skill is. He got the satellite dream where he binked that huge ROI score, but you need to think long term. Long term, you're probably throwing away money playing stakes higher than you should be. Long term, this is a losing play. We have BRM guidelines to protect ourselves against variance and to keep us from going broke. Once again, a huge congrats to this guy for getting a huge score, but this is something he should not be doing ever. He has a BR now to work with. Do it right. Play the tournaments you can actually play. Build your skill. Lots of money or not, if you're not smart with it you'll go broke. Hopefully this guy changes his approach. This is something that riled me up because being in the program I want the other guys to succeed just because I want a good community, but it ****ing sucks to see other people gambling haha. We need fish and people playing too high and going broke to make money playing poker, but if you're in the program and you're trying to become a great poker player you just shouldn't be putting yourself in a position to be the broke fish. People will take the money, I'll take the money, but just think about it. Huge score or not, practice good BRM or why are you in the program?

So that was my rant. Like I said, part of this may be a little jealousy, but watching him play stakes that are way too high is just insane to me.

Okay. So he satellited in for $7, but in the HH he just busted and flicked in a rebuy. So a $50 rebuy for over 5% of your BR? As an MTT player, that is just completely INSANE. Not sustainable. Yuck haha. That's my piece and I should stop now because I'm not going to stop being riled up by this topic haha. I want this guy to have success because he is in the program, but he needs to be smarter with his BRM or else he's gambling and he is gonna go broke. If I played like this my parent's advice around "Stop playing poker" and "You're going to go broke, everyone goes broke" and "You have a gambling addiction" would actually be helpful lol. End of rant

Had some fun with the boys tonight. We had a poker night and I ended up volunteering my apartment for it. Had to move my bed out of my bedroom so we could play under a functioning light, but it was all good. We had four people for the first game, a $5 buy in. We had five people for the second game, a $2 buy in. Second place got their money back, first place won the rest, and you know I shipped both of them. In for $7, had $23 in cashes for an over 200% ROI. Not a bad day at the tables today. Honestly might’ve won more tonight than if I’d played online lol. Good luck on Sunday everyone

Shoutout to the people DDoS attacking all the poker sites lately. Chill af. Just let us gamble in peace please

gl with this, but paying 50% for coaching is absurd since thats included in basically any stable worth working for. makeup isnt great but a way better deal and easy access to higher bi's.

Not gonna lie, this comment is making me really question what I’m doing haha. I appreciate the honesty, and as mentioned I’ve been getting cold feet in regards to CFP for the last couple of weeks now. Changes could be coming soon...

In other news, I rewatched Rounders tonight. What a beautiful, amazing movie. Wow. I could only hope to achieve something like that if ever end up dabbling in screenwriting/filmmaking in the future in the poker genre. I watched it because I posted an Instagram pic playing my friend heads up last night. I captioned myself as Matt Damon and him as John Malkovich (he was wearing shades so clearly he’s Teddy).

Really interesting rewatch after immersing myself in the poker world the last few months. It was impossible for me to not get tilted by Mike’s horrible bankroll management. I ripped on my classmate for his BRM and Mike literally tried committing suicide playing the second heads up for double-or-nothing. Literally, how much was that last game for? An extra twenty, thirty thousand? Dude just ran up $10k playing straight up in four days and decides to risk his life over $30k. Goddamn Mike. That is suspect to say the least haha

But hey, he won, so wtf do I know about anything lol

I also heavily question having to give away 50% of your profits for what seems as basic training... It seems to me you could easily just watch training videos and be on your own dime...

Yeah. I think it was very useful when I was a complete noob in November. At this point, I don’t think it’s worth it anymore. Haven’t done anything yet but changes are coming soon

do you have to play for them for a set amount of time?

It’s not a set amount of time, it’s only a 10k Euro contract. I’m two-thirds done, meaning I still need to win probably close to or over $4k USD to finish. The problem is that there is of course no guarantee I win that anytime soon, especially playing MTTs where variance can be insane. My coach and a guy in my program mentioned how you can expect to have a 300 buy-in downswing at some point. Maybe that’s extreme, but so far in my poker journey my version of a downswing has been losing $300 in a month, maybe being breakeven for two. Basically, it hasn’t happened. That doesn’t mean it will happen, but playing with my own money as my liferoll is running low is making the possibility of going on a downswing, ending up in the hole, needing to win my way out of it just so that I can get back to even and hope to finish my contract is just terrifying haha. I’m getting ancy about the prospects of things going horribly wrong, so I want to get out while I have the financial freedom still to do so

And as alluded to, I’ve taken the plunge. I’ve messaged my coach to let him know I’m going to leave CFP. I’ll have to take stock of everything when it’s done, but I’m going to have maybe two months of liferoll left plus probably five or so months in the BR. I was thinking of going on my own to play WCOOP and Powerfest, but for the same reasons mentioned above that sounds more dangerous than it does profitable. I think I’m going to look into staking. I’m not sure I have the sample size yet, but I believe that I’m good enough and I know that I can still be much better than I am. I know I have potential, I am just unsure how high that potential is. There’s a lot of uncertainty at the moment, but I know that moving on from CFP is the right play for me

This is what graduation from university should have felt like haha. I wish I could have finished the contract legit because that would have been an amazing and proud accomplishment for me, probably the greatest thing I’ve personally done. From where I started, I’m still ****ing proud of what I’ve accomplished. I’m ready for the next step in my poker journey. It’s scary, but it is so ****ing exciting too. Fun times indeed

yeah thats crazy since they are essentially freerolling everyone that signs up. a good backer/stable will be at least as hands on since they are actually risking money on you.

staking also allows most of the br money to become liferoll money if need be, or at least keep it safe if you leave/get dropped. i would be careful firing off series too hard into massive fields, and if you do get backed, moving up right away/too quickly when its free buyins. starting out with a big hole in makeup will not be fun

but again, gl. good choice for now.

Yeah, I might have been a bit of a sucker for joining the program but it did teach me a ton of valuable stuff and give me tools I needed to become a successful poker player from the fish I started out as. I probably overpaid for it, but in my eyes it was still extremely valuable and moving on to other things is clearly the right move for me now

Appreciate the advice on staking. Not sure if you can tell, but I am pretty risk averse. I am not going to be the person that blows a bunch of money playing stakes I can’t win at or don’t feel ready to battle yet. I think my profitable threshold at the moment is the $22 buy-in level. Coach mentioned he thought I could beat $30 MTTs, but I’m a little more skeptical. Despite that, I’m aware of some specific flaws I have in my game at the moment and I genuinely believe that through proper, focused studying I can have a breakthrough skill-wise in short order. That doesn’t mean I’ll be king of the world, but I think I can beat $22 MTTs once I am able to devote more focus to my studies.

I think the plan is to live off my BR and grind up the profits. Appreciate the advice on massive fields, especially with Powerfest and WCOOP coming up. Will definitely make sure not to overdo it. Not sure if I mentioned this but I actually had a conversation with a personal friend who was interested in staking me into a live tournament in the future. I realized today that he could stake me into online tournaments just as easily. Not only would the stakes for him be lower, but our potential reward could be magnified significantly. Obviously I don’t have a staking deal yet and I’m sure these are all things to take into consideration, but if my friend is down to stake me for a $1M GTD $109 Sunday WCOOP tournament, it could be a lot of fun for the both of us. Really excited for this next step in the journey

Congrats on going on your own dime, I think it is the right path Also, if it comes down to it and you need some backing, message me, we could work something out.

Thanks man, I appreciate it. When I told coach I was leaving CFP I wasn’t sure how he would handle it, thinking he might be mad at me leaving after all the material he gave me for the project we’re still doing together. He actually completely understood and offered to put in a good word with a stable he coaches for. I’m not sure if it will work out, but there are a few options I have on the table and I’m considering all of them

While I’m in this limbo, I think I’m going to play sparingly. My BR is now an extension of my liferoll, so I don’t want to blow a bunch on a mini downswing if I don’t have to. I emailed CFP about buying myself out but have yet to receive a response because of timezone differences, so I’m still unsure what the hit to my BR will be to buy out (hopefully not too much). Hopefully setting up a staking deal won’t take too long and I can be back playing soon, but I’ll use this opportunity to hit the books in preparation for September. I am genuinely so excited to be in this next chapter of my poker journey and I can’t wait to get back on the grind

It's a done deal! I am officially out of my contract with CFP

Next step is to know whether I am getting staking or going on my own. I should know within the next few days whether or not my coach's stable will take me. If that doesn't pan out, I think I will look into going out on my own for a bit. Problem with this is that BR and liferoll don't have a lot of wiggle room for losing or breakeven months. As an MTT player with high variance, this is obviously a scary prospect. I think there's a good chance I would look into MTT SNGs to help with variance in that case. I am still not opposed to getting a job either to pay the bills. I'm confident in my abilities and given time I think I can be successful. If I need to get a part-time job to pay the bills to take the edge off while I grind off days, then that's what I'll do. We'll see what happens

So I have decided not to join my coach’s stable. I had a conversation with them yesterday, where I was told they would get back to me in a few days after talking it over with the other investors. During this time, I was stressing out immensely. Not sure if I mentioned this, but they said they would sign me to an 18 month contract if I joined. A year and a half. That is a huge commitment, a huge commitment where the pressure is on to make profits for them and myself, to not go deep into makeup, to just keep playing poker and grinding away. After buying out of my contract, I would have had 6+ months to continue grinding full time from my BR. Honestly, I believe things would have worked out. I believe in my abilities, I believe I’m close to a breakthrough, and I believe I would have made money and moved up stakes with the help of the coaches

But a year and a half is a long time. So many things can go wrong, so many things can change, and I would always only get 50% of my profit. The doubts were very, very real, and even though I want to be successful, I want to make sure to do it on my terms knowing that I am 100% on board with what I am doing. So I passed. If I want staking later, I can apply later. If I’m not sure it’s best to wait until I am, especially since I’ve only had a few days of freedom from my own contract which is a very short time to decide on signing into a new binding deal. For now, I can genuinely be my own boss, make my own schedule, not have 4am webinars, and just be held accountable only by myself.

Even though people thought I was crazy to quit my job and start playing poker from scratch, it never felt crazy to me. I knew my goals, I knew my purpose, I knew the mental place I was coming from. I felt like I was freerolling because whether I succeeded or failed at poker, life would not be worse than it already was. Taking this shot, taking this chance has reinvigorated my life in ways that grinding away at Safeway or as an aspiring screenwriter would never have done. I’ve given poker a shot for nine months now and I have proven to myself I have what it takes. I don’t have the financial security I desperately want yet, but I believe I am making the steps I need to give myself that opportunity in the future.

After buying out of my contract I have one more month of expenses in my liferoll, plus my untouched BR. I will withdraw some more from my BR just for peace of mind, but I am taking a shot at WCOOP and Powerfest next month. If this next stretch goes great I can be in an amazing position to keep pursuing my dream full-time. If not, I plan to get a part-time job for the bills while I run up my BR and liferoll playing poker for a while. And even if that sounds like a bad idea compared to the possibility of 6 month security while being staked, I actually like it. I’ve always been working for someone, always accountable to someone, even in these last few months. I can be my own person now, call all of my own shots, and that is honestly really exciting for me

Real quick. I began this thread because I wanted to document this journey for myself. That being said, it has opened up more opportunities than I originally anticipated. All of the kind words and advice of the poker community have given me so much guidance on this journey, so it’s really meant a lot. I just wanted to thank everyone who’s followed along, who’s given advice, who’s offered help. It’s been great to have so much support and hopefully the journey keeps going strong