there but by the grace of god go I

good start to the day anyway +38 pre rakeback. the last couple days i sort of lost my way but i am feeling good about what is going on today. hopefully i can conquer my inner demons and crush these low stakes tables

hit up the grocery store last night, there was a sale on lamb shoulder chops, but it will be a cheese burger for lunch. might start making some bacon soon since my method of preparation takes 1.5 hours

thinking I should wait for 2500 or 3000 usd before advancing to .5/1. Take my time, really get to know .25/.50 and build up a nice cushion before moving on to the next level. the stakes are significant enough already that i can achieve a decent hourly with good practices and i am sure the next level will be even harder. it only took me two weeks to jump levels twice so i am making great time and do not need to rush. the important thing is to avoid any bankroll crushing downswings. to do this i need to have losing sessions and losing days. i need to accept that losing is part of the game and not take ridiculous risks with my bankroll in order to fabricate unnecessary winning streaks.

And I definitely need to play only in the first 10-12 hours of the day. So after 8 pm tonight just grind video games! the quality of my play is much worse when I am tired. Do not play tired.

wahoo!

i value check my nuts

****ing starving. can't wait for this super whale to quit so i can make my cheese burger

good call my range was totally polarized j hi is the same as JJ!!

pretty close turn decision i think

gfys

always nice to get it in as a slight dog and scoop both runs. second time it came king, deuce, for extra dramatic effect

i have missed too many river value raises in my life. this is a very common weakness.

[x] gin turn

good try bro u demonstrated a lot of heart

YES! EIGHTS FULL!!!!

thank you come again

dear journal


it's been a while since i've updated you. i had a few really bad sessions and almost busto'd this roll, but things rebounded and I am at around my peak since starting. I am very close to having tripled my starting bankroll right now. Anyway, my new focus is going to be on bankroll management and mental game. I have some serious mental game leaks that I need to address. In particular I do not handle losing well. I need to have a relaxed attitude towards down-swings, bad beats and negative variance. This morning was a good example of a positive and rational attitude towards losing. First, I got ****ed hard by lady luck.




Villain's stats were pretty lag over less than 100 hand sample but they were something like 35/30 w/ high 3 bet. Certainly starting to show a pattern. So I 4 bet my ok kings, figuring my sizing and the fact that I was in steal position may have induced some action. I figure on the flop if he actually made 2 pair + he would check to me since I had the initiative, so we flip and I lose.








Then I actually won a hand, which was pretty sweet. Pretty obvious call pre closing the action here with a strong hand, even getting a discount because I'm a blind. On the flop I decide to bet. Could check raise too maybe. I don't think I'd fold three tens here even on a super dry board, if they have it they have it.





and that's when things started to go south. Sometimes I would flat here and pray for a three bet behind me, but especially with these super premium aces it's best to just raise and start building a pot as a massive favourite. Even against villain's hand which is the right sort of hand to have against me I guess I am a 2:1 favourite pre, and I'm probably not going to lose too much on his flops either. So I flop NFD and just blast flop and turn, but villain turns two pair and that's the way she goes.









So the next hand I open AQT8 first in against a table of regs. Probably this hand isn't even profitable here and should be open mucked. I flop pretty strong and bet it. I like my flat call of the raise, since I desperately want to keep the third player in. We end up getting it in three way and they both win a run. My equity was 37%. Whatever. I've got 14 nut outs on the flop so I definitely have to see a turn. I know 7 cards so that leaves 45. 14:31 So I'm something like 30-31% to hit the nuts on the turn. And I think it's obvious that my hand has great potential for stacking off three way, especially now that there is $50 extra in the pot so I'm getting over 3:1.







getting a little flushstraighted at this point i just flat the river. Villian types 'hahahaha' at me in chat. Whatever the merits or demerits of my line and my play, berating your opponents is just total amateur hour. One of the most important things about being a professional poker player is being an enjoyable person to play against. You should go for the throat, always, with your play, but with your interactions with others you should always be polite, charming and deferential.





I was pretty surprised to see villain show up with AA & hearts here with this line. He had really low 3 bet % so I was not surprised to see AA but figured AA w/ hearts would just blast call the flop. He's actually 55% on the flop because he can hit a queen as well as hearts or six. I think I played the hand okay, although there may be some questions with regards to my flop and turn sizing. Pre I could also open muck, it's not like you always have to try to steal from co and button. I can't possibly see myself checking flop or turn.








then I got coolered. when villain raises this dry flop I put him on a wrap. Maybe this was wishful thinking. My plan was just to stack off on any non wrap completing turn. Picking up the draw obviously bolstered my resolve to get the money in. Can I fold to a tight (25/12) player's flop raise with this hand? I'm not really in the habit of folding top two on dry boards and I don't want to succumb to results oriented analysis. Would he c/r a wrap OOP like this? Maybe I played the hand well. Who knows? These are the questions we poker players struggle with.





the next hand seems even more straight forward. I defend my hand with a very good looking holding, flop middle set on a dry board, heads up and c/r GII. Coolered again. I am virtually certain I did nothing wrong here. Losing is part of the game. Second best can be very expensive. Nothing you can do. Perhaps the only lesson I can take out of this is find softer games. And make sure to practice bankroll management so that if you do experience these negative situations you can still rebound from them.







So at this point I'm down something like 6 buy ins. And I'm telling myself, stay calm, don't start opening ****ty hands. Tranquilo. You have to be able to take a punch. Downswings happen. Coolers happen. Bad beats happen. What matters is how you respond to them. What matters is what happens next. So here I get set up again. I pick up KK88 w/ a suit and three bet a tag's open. Should I just flat? He four bets. Ok, you have aces. But surely I have the odds to draw out? I am 33% pre against his hand. And I get there on the flop!











then this hand happened. it was really sweet. And a lot of debatable decisions here. First off pre. I can three bet to around 20 bbs and probably should do so. I elect to flat. I think flatting is reasonable. There are still two players left to act who might three bet. I think this will only happen maybe 10% of the time, if that, but it is pretty awesome when it does as I'll probably be able to trap the field for $10 each or just GII with everyone, which I'm also happy to do. Then I get a big flop and check it. I could also lead here. My thinking on the flop was to c/r but even C/c has serious merit, depending on where the bet comes from. I'd like this hand to go as many ways to the turn for as much money as possible. On the turn things are starting to look a little grim. I'm down to 9 nut outs, but I could have a whole host of hidden outs. Then we end up going 4 way! to the river. And the lady luck smiles on me. And there is much rejoicing.






So anyway, I'm down about a buy in or so today. I feel really good about how I handled my downswing. I need to work on my mental game issues and fix some of these emotional leaks that have been crippling my development as a poker player. I need to have a sanguine attitude. Losing is a big part of the game. I need to be a good loser.

I'm really not sure if I want to be at PLO 50 or PLO 25. I feel like I could achieve some of my modest financial goals at PLO 25. But if I can increase my hourly by even 50% by moving to PLO 50 then that is something that really can't be ignored. I feel like I am crushing PLO 25, but that PLO 50 is much harder. I have put in really good volume over the last 3 days. 12,750, 6,934 and 11,922 hands on each day. And all solid winning days.

pretty good system today, aiming for like 45 minutes of play, 15 minutes of housework, rinse repeat.

think i will just stick to plo 25 today way more comfortable there

So today I am -152 usd so far. About -12 of that was from before I went to sleep. I've made roughly $30 in rakeback so so basically I'm down 4-5 buy ins so far today. Actually I feel pretty good about this. I am $150 below EV for today and I feel I am playing for the most part pretty good. I was down another $80 but just swung up. I've been taking frequent breaks and have done a ton of cleaning so far. Dishes, wiped all the surfaces in the kitchen including full sweep and mop, and organized / swept in my living room. Still need to attack the bathroom. Instead of becoming more aggressive with regards to bankroll management when losing today, a leak of mine, I simply grinded it out at the limit I am playing. I am very well bankrolled for my limit, having 66 buy ins. I am definitely just going to stick here and try to grind out some profits. I feel like I can make 100-200 usd a day, so I just want to sit here and grind 10-12 hours a day and make some bank and accumulate some savings / pay rent and food. My expenses are probably around 900-1000 usd a month but I'd love to have a few grand stored up so I am not so financially ****ed. I really feel like I can accomplish these goals at this limit, but at PLO 50 one really bad downswing could just cripple me and set me back so far.

got back another 50. today is looking pretty good. despite my frequent breaks i have already put in 5k hands. will probably aim for about 8k or so today. right now -101 less 32 rakeback. so -70, or -60 since i woke up. feel really good about my play and about these breaks i am taking.

http://www.boomplayer.com/en/poker-h...210_AF5779DA70

fun hand

Almost quit for the day stuck like 220 or something. glad i didn't. down -139 now, around -90 after rakeback. not bad. going to take another 15 minute break then get back the grind.

fml tilting so hard and practicing bad bankroll management. really need to work on my mental game and self control. -136.62 usd today pre rakeback. 8225 hands.

well i finally did something smart and self restricted myself to only big bet $25 and lower games. tourneys, sngs & limit games are all restricted. so I'll have at least 8 days @ plo 25. and I am done for the night already. just playing starcraft right now, although i am also taking a break from that to cook some veal chops. i will be cooking them in butter on medium heat for about 3 minutes a side. very rare.

my goal to move up to plo 50 is minimum 2500 usd bankroll.

hopefully tomorrow goes well. I did have a losing day today, which is sort of a goal of mine. That might sound strange, but an inability to have losing sessions / losing days is a huge problem for gamblers. I am unhappy with what I did today, specifically playing PLO 50 and PLO 100, but also the last couple hours even at PLO 25 were just not good. I am pleased that I did a bunch of cleaning. This place looks much better. Hopefully tomorrow I can go for 10k hands at PLO 25 without tilt or bad play.