Brilliant update mate! I've been trying to work out the ideal way to balance a large workload, working out, and not getting completely burnt out myself for the past year.

I take it the cfp is with a private coach and not a stable? Gg is clearly in the wrong re the money confiscation.

I think the schedule you've laid out should be fairly easy to stick to if you have an ounce of discipline. Do you plan on increasing volume/study hours at some point?

I'm also a big fan of prop betting to get **** done. Lots of guys think it's an immature way to get results but the fact is **** works!

Will be doing up my own schedule like yours in a fortnight or so, after wsop is finished. I'll be looking to juggle 55+ hours of work per week with daily workouts so it's going to be a thing of beauty if I can manage that without toasting myself. Will send you a pm after I've done the schedule showing you what I'm looking at, just in case it gives you any tips/tricks for improving your own time management.

Gll!!!

Thanks again for the reply Sounds like we are both interested in using schedules, propbets and opther techniques to be more focused, productive and generally effective in what we do, so it's great to get your take on all of this stuff. Will also be interested to see your schedule when you make it.

Re this current schedule that I have set out, yeah let's see. My issue has always been working too 'hard' and not working smart enough. Hence, you feel like you're being productive and then you burn out and are left scratching your head. So my focus will be on doing enough every day in the gym, for example, to add energy and value to my life, but not so as to tire me even further.

I just added a propbet with my friend aimed at sleep hygiene and phone use because my phone addiction is kind of out of control at the moment. This will help get me back in the sweet spot of where I need to be.

BTW it's great to back-and-forth this stuff in the thread for accountability and updates and reflection, so let me know how you get on. And hopefully we can both get to a point where we're flowing really nicely. Cheers.

Sure will!, gl!

I have a leak where I'm in a big pot (say 35bbs+) and the board runs out unfavourably for me, it causes me to experience what I would describe as a sudden bolt of physiological stress. This also happens sometimes when I'm in a 70bb+ pot and my opponent shows down the winning hand that is right at the top of his range or not at all in the range I had put him on.

For example, my stomach might suddenly feel like it's turning, or I might physically convulse as if I had been punched in the belly. This has been something I have experienced throughout my poker career.

------
HH from yesterday

H (150bbs) OR CO J J

Rec villain (123bbs) flats BU

Rec villain (55bbs) defends BB

(9.5) Flop: 9 3 7

BB x / H b 7 / BU c / BB c

(30.5) Turn: 3

BB x / H b 20 / BU c / BB f

(70.5) River: Q

H x / BU b 40 / H c

Villain shows A 3

(150.5) Winning hand 3 3 3 A Q

I was happy with my reasoning in-game and in analysing this hand after the fact.

However, the problem, or leak, is in how I reacted in the moment when he showed down a hand that I did not think he had. I Hellmuth-style jumped out of my chair, throwing it to the ground behind me. This is the most animated I have been after losing a hand in quite some time. I am not the type of person to start punching or banging things. But I do shout and curse quite often.

This also happens to me sometimes in 3b and 4b pots when I have aces or kings and the board runs out a four flush or four-to-a-straight and my opponent has all of it.

I take it personally, my stomach tenses up and I feel a bolt of anger. This is amplified during periods when results have been a grind and I have been losing or breaking even.

------

The real futility of this unfortunate trait was hit home to me yesterday when I played a hand, that I don't quite remember the exact sizes and action but was something like:

Rec villain (100bbs) OR SB 3

H (100bbs) BB A 5 3bet 9 / V c

(18) Flop: 9 6 3

V x / H cbet 6 / V c

(30) Turn: 4

V x / H x

(30) River: 8

As soon as the river card was dealt, before my opponent had a chance to act, my body convulsed and I hissed some expletive to myself. I felt somehow perfectly entitled to hit the nuts OTR.

Which is madness.

Recounting this story leaves me here asking myself: what does that mean? Am I really that much of an irrational person?

V x / H x

Villain shows K Q

(30) Winning hand A 9 8 6 5

And I'm left slightly shocked and entertained by the intensity of my indignant reaction, to then go on and scoop the pot.

The short-term bolt of stress that this causes me to feel is not something I am willing to live with. It's unhealthy. So I reflected on it a bit.

------

I have read the mental game book, I have watched the videos, bought the app, completed the course, I meditate, I... Let's just say I haven't exactly been a slouch on the mental game front. So what does the conventional wisdom in all of these resources tell us?

I don't have any control over the runout, so don't sweat it. Sure.
I can become more aware of my reactions and gain control over them. Sure.

And I don't. And I can. And that's great. I try. I can try harder.

But as I said to my coach yesterday:
"I’m more concerned about how tough I’m taking some of these spots. Like how much they’re getting to me, physiologically more than psychologically if you get what I mean. Just feeling anger in my body, heart racing, then, actually, negative thoughts too. It’s not great. Like, it shouldn’t affect me the way it does. And it feels sucky that it does affect me the way it does. In the moment, I mean."

But then I listened to the end of the Joe Ingram, Landon Tice podcast and something Landon said helped me reflect in a way that I can both immediately and concretely apply to my situation: having financial goals in poker.

The money means too much to me
Shout out to conventional poker mental game literature because it also includes this point about the mistake of setting financial goals in poker. But you need to take that from the abstract and actively apply it to your situation.

As I mentioned last time, together with my coach I set some bankroll goals for the next few months. And I really enjoyed doing that! And how I wanted my progression in the game over the coming months to look. And I consciously reflected on whether it was a mistake to frame things in financial goals. And I thought: nah, what harm? I am obviously mindful of the need to not be results oriented and instead to be process oriented. (Another abstract mental game principle that only really works if it applies to your current biggest leaks, and you go ahead and apply it.)

So Joey asked Landon what his goals were. And Landon said he didn't set goals. And it clicked in my mind that the money means too much to me right now. I reflected that I want to achieve my goals so, so badly. More than I was consciously thinking. And, as a result, it's hurting my EV. I'm playing worse. I'm forcing spots with aces and kings and I have clear folds. I'm overplaying hands.

I have a poker dream for the mid-term that I am working to make a reality. But I can't force that. I have to accept where I am right now and learn to enjoy where I am right now. And put the goals out of my mind. I asked myself: how can I learn to enjoy this?

Play the cards that come the best you can
The business of playing poker is about money. Playing poker is not about money.

In response to these issues that I shared, my coach said the following:

"Whatever hand you have, you just have to play the cards that come the best can. It's tempting to think 'I have a big hand here, I need to win a big pot'. You don't know when those big pots are going to come. 99% of the time you're not going to stack someone, you're not going to get 100bbs out of someone. The big setups go both ways. Ultimately, doing a lot of small things well is what is going to win you money.

You have got to remember that if you can save 30, 50, 70bbs in a hand, that is the difference in your day, in your week when you add that up. You have got to think about it a little differently: when I have kings and the board runs out poorly and I can fold, I have just made 70bbs (I torched 70bbs OTR with kings yesterday). You have to think of it that way because the boards run out how the boards run out but the money you're going to make in this game is how you react to the boards. There are going to be times when it runs out in your favour, there are going to be times when it doesn't. And all you can do--all you have to do--is play it as best you can.

You must acknowledge that you are constrained by the runout. When you achieve that, you can say: this guy has got a straight here and I am going to fold and make money. Then you end up way less frustrated because your goal is not to make money with any hand, your goal should be to play the hand well. When you get dealt your aces and you are praying that the maniac 4bets you but instead he folds and you are disappointed, you will be constantly disappointed. Most hands aren't going to go the way you want them to (i.e. Win all of someone's chips all of the time). The short-term results, how the board runs out does not matter. What matters is how you react to every runout, every hand.

If you end up just calling off in those spots when you know he has a flush, you're going to end up frustrated and you're going to end up losing a lot more. If you can fold in those spots, you're going to end up being so much more profitable over the long run. How much money you make in the long run is determined by your ability to react to these spots, not your ability to stack someone in any individual hand."

And I thought this was amazing. So let's go.

Up to date 31 August 2020
Volume = 88 playing hours (101.86 hours)
Study = 60 hours (30.74)
2nd meditation sit in the afternoon/evening = (19/31)

Reflections on August
The PGC blog is one month old which is cool. First week of the month was spent playing 25NL to steady the ship after dropping out of 100NL, having played a lot at that stake in July. Then during the 2nd week of August I fell out of a lot of good, healthy routines and habits and into a lot of old, bad habits. I binge watched Twitch during the initial excitement of the GG nosebleed CGs. My diet also fell away and I stopped working out. The weather here was brutally hot. But I think mostly I was just sparked after an intense few months, culminating in a very intense July in which I experienced disappointments in my personal life and found poker exhausting.

During the first two weeks of August it is safe to say that I was not enjoying my poker. I was also having to face uncertainties about where to go from here, knowing I had a tonne of improving to do and needing to find another source to reignite my motivation for the next stage of my career. I think that second full week of August, in particular, was actually a low point, relatively speaking, for general satisfaction and motivation. It was just a 'bad week'. But I managed to keep a somewhat steady, consistent volume and study grind during that dip. And that is ultimately what counts in many ways.

Then thankfully--but as so often happens of course--things turned around and I met a new coach who I instantly clicked with and we went straight into CFP + staking to play 100NL. That has been huge for me at this specific juncture. I have withdrawn my own bankroll, which has given me a degree of financial relief. And the accountability and mentorship of someone who (1) you enjoy speaking to, (2) is good at the game and you like their poker philosophy and (3) is regularly available to you, is just so nutted. It's something I thrive in. My career--and my previous careers and lots of my current and past endeavours--have been this tricky dance between being in a headspace where you want to prove yourself, get your head down and grind and show the world what you have got, and reaching out for help, making connections and leveraging your network to progress to the next level. There is pride and ego at play here. Too much or not enough of either element can set you back. It is difficult and there is a lot of luck and chance involved.

So the ensuing latter two weeks of August have been marked by a much more energetic, motivated grind, culminating in me clocking my highest, most consistent monthly volume hours ever. (Consistent being the key word here. I have certainly played far more hours in a calendar month before but in a short-sighted, counter-productive, truly degenerative sort of way.)

And I have began to get back on the horse with the good habits, focusing primarily on the holy trinity of: diet, sleep and exercise. If I can get those back in check then everything gets so much stronger. I made it to the gym four times last week and started cooking for myself for the first time in two months. I cooked a bunch of fresh sardines and rice and am making shakes with oats, dates, bananas and eggs.

September
Grind. I wanted to take some days off to rest but, honestly, I don't want to or need to. Not yet. My weekly recharge on a Monday feels good for now. I will reinforce the September month-long PGC with some shorter term (1-2 week) propbets / challenges with a friend that have been really effective over the previous two weeks.

During the hours that I play poker this month, the sole focus, the theme of my grind will be the topic of my previous post: play the cards that come as best you can. And constantly drilling the spirit of that wisdom.

PGC September 2020
Volume = 140 hours (based on 6 hours per day, 6 days per week, allowing for 8 grind days where I played 4 hours instead of 6)
Study = 26 hours (a more realistic bar than last time)
2nd meditation sit every day (I want to really focus on strengthening my metta-bhavana practice)

Have to hammer out the specific duration and forfeit of the propbet with my friend but this is the shorter-term (1-2 week) challenge of how I keep it all on track on a day-to-day basis:

I know exactly how you feel, I was playing and winning on gg but when you start losing and getting 10% rb its easy to get paranoid when you know their stance on winning players haha

Just read the whole thread.

GLGL! Subbed

I withdrew money from both Stars and GG on Thursday 20 August. My Stars withdrawal was in my bank account on Saturday 22 August. My GG withdrawal has still not arrived, two-and-a-half weeks later. They need to sort their **** out and stop carefully carving out a niche for themselves as a belligerent, precarious organisation.

Sometimes I wonder about the utility of even discussing these issues publicly. Is it even worth it. Why risk levelling oneself about the coincidence of posting on forums (discord servers and 2+2 threads) about one's unease with GG's practices, only to then go and roll back-to-back 10% RB, run like death and have inexplicable delay in your withdrawal being processed.

Everyone has incentives in various different directions that often conflict. Yes, protect the ecosystem. An indisputably noble objective. But how are you going to go and then bake a bunch of opaque (e.g. variance in rakeback depending on PVI (i.e. whether the site likes you)) and outright unethical (allegedly free-rolling professionals) practices into your efforts to do so.

I am open to a propbet to not complain about this anymore. Don't focus on the negative and all that. I have way too far to go in poker to even have the bona fides to engage forcefully in this discussion. **** it. Just gotta focus on what's within my control and getting better.

Cheers matey

This is something of an extraordinary post as I hit a wall on Friday and decided to take 2-3 days off. The days off have so far been restful but I am experiencing a keen desire to understand what happened that led to me becoming frustrated.

Firstly, as a brief re-cap, I went through a period of upheaval, moving countries at the beginning of July; something I ended up struggling with more than I had anticipated. Or, at least, the upheaval and related anxiety triggered a deviation from some principles that had been working really well for me. Such as the poker system I had implemented between March and June, and, deciding instead to grind playing volume on a more unstructured basis. I also lost focus on good quality sleep, nutrition and exercise. I will set out, below, why I am particularly susceptible to veering way off course when I make the mistake of disregarding these principles.

I had my best ever month in June. I lost in July. I lost in August. And I'm losing so far in September.

The real agony of the last three weeks in-particular has come from sitting in a player pool in which I feel in total control of my game, actually enjoying my poker, running up a few stacks, only to then go and stack off four or five times, day-in, day-out. An elaborate form of psychological torture. I seem to be getting into an unusually high number of setups (of course). Not winning my fair share of flips (of course). And runnouts have not been going my way and I can't seem to fade rivers (not going to add the quasi-facetious 'of course' at the end of this one, because it has been kind of crazy!). But, crucially, I'm doing something wrong.

I think identifying this 'something' is the most difficult aspect of trying to become a successful professional poker player. (And it probably doesn't end when you do succeed.) We seek information, try, get knocked back, attempt to extract data from our experience, attempt to synthesise that data into the next iteration of a plan, try again, get knocked back again and so on.

Let's dive in to what's been going on and how I am going to go about fixing it.

------

Going way back for context, I would say that my personality is temperamentally prone to two types of behaviour that are relevant here:

1. Inconsistency - disillusionment, often following some period of conscious effort or a 'honeymoon' period of being energised or enamoured, leading to boredom, resentment, novelty-seeking and, most corrosive of all, doubt.
2. Imbalance - being prone to periods of intense effort driven by obsession with no sense of balance. This also translates into binges during the inevitable crash.

These are such elusive, difficult subjects and are a life's work to even approach. But let me give some concrete examples of what I mean.

I would estimate that it has occurred dozens of times in my early-twenties where I identified an internship or a job that I wanted and I would become so binary in my view of needing to get it. I would immediately and repeatedly imagine all of the wonderful benefits that would accrue to me in the job. I won't even begin to describe the all-consuming drive with which I pursued the two major posts that I did successfully win. But to think that I might have been sacrificing relationships, memories and experiences didn't even occur to me. The real sacrifice to me would have been to not give absolutely everything I could to be successful.

It was somewhat comically tragic when these jobs didn't transpire to be the soapy titwank of prestige and glory that I had hoped for.

The poker examples of this have been the 12, 14 and 16 (more?) hour live poker sessions I have played as recently as February of this year. Just a theatre of exhaustion and visiting the entire kaleidoscope of emotion: joy, despair, elation, even some trippy states. I'm sure a lot of you are aware. Like this is 'fun' but just terrible for long-term, consistent, winning poker, right? I'm going to go out on a limb and say, especially so, when you are so inclined as I have described my personality above. The ****ing come down when you crash a few days later and have no idea why you suddenly hate the game of poker.

Then there were the online grinds that I don't even need to mention. All good, wholesome, degen ****. I couldn't hold a candle to some of the more degen-y degens on this, the most degen of forums. But let's just say I've dabbled.

There is something important here that speaks to working smart vs working hard. Certainly one of the most miserable struggles I have had during my adult life. There is also a point I would like to make around the fact that I am not seeking to fundamentally change my personality. I actually still love the idea of a life of effort and striving. I do genuinely enjoy it; or, more accurately, derive a satisfaction and fulfilment from it that is deeply rewarding in a kind of existential way. Eudaimonia, I think they call it.

I am by no means bashing my personality here either. Indeed, I enjoy the never-ending puzzle of attempting to understand oneself. What I'm describing here might as well simply be objective fact to me.

------

When I started out playing microstakes poker online I was coached by one of the most prominent MTT players in the world at the time. Just a prodigiously good player for all intents and purposes. He prescribed an entire focus on what I will describe as 'putting in the reps'. He had experienced great success in the lifestyle of playing 12-15 hours per day, every day. Needless to say the chemical reaction of this advice coming from someone who I professionally respected with my temperamental proclivity was quite spectacular.

As a highly-truncated version of the story: So I went down that road for, let's say, 1.5 years.

I then had, what I would describe as, my teary-eyed, lump-in-throat profound unlearning-the-doctrine moment when I engaged another coach in March of this year. Let me share with you, below, what he said when I asked him about the importance of consistent playing volume:

"Personally I hate forcing volume, I think in today's times it's more important than ever to put quality over quantity. This means never playing when I don't feel like it or when I can't focus and never playing more than four hours-a-day.

None of them [some of the highest-winning mid-stakes players online] plays more than 600k hands-a-year, which is like 900 hours, tops. So, don't worry about volume, most of the guys putting massive volume have really shitty results. There are obviously exceptions."

So yeah I emerged from the basement and took this advice on board.

Two more resources that I found very helpful around this time were Patrick Howard's Mobius blog on Run It Once and a structured mental game course which I used to develop a poker system.

------

The Ins and Outs of a Poker System
There is so much here but ultimately what it boils down to and what I want to focus on right now is designing and executing a poker system in which, crucially, I have total control over my ability to execute day-in, day-out.

It bears repeating that my difficulty has been my ability to sustain these systems. They have, in the past, either been (1) far too intense and ambitious or (2) reasonable and led to me experiencing some success, after which I became bored and made onerous adjustments only to end up in the same place as in case (1). Both roads lead to frustration. Now I need to once again, design a number (2) system and execute, month in, month out.

I will apply myself to the following system from Tuesdays to Sundays every week. I will periodically take more than one day off per week. A system needs inalienable concepts or reasons that underpin it and act as its purpose. These concepts are its engine. The concepts themselves stem from reflecting on how one wishes to achieve one's vision. These concepts are abbreviated as follows:

HSN = health, fitness, general wellness, sleep and nutrition

• Just to make the note here that, as we so often forget, this underpins anyone's ability to perform at anything. It's baseline. It is the fuel that drives anything forward. One cannot claim to be ambitious in poker or any other field to only neglect this area. And I just want to send myself that reminder, more than anything else.

V = playing an optimal amount of poker in an optimal manner
S = study and general strategic and mental game improvement and increasing ability to play well

MORNING ROUTINE
1. Meditation (HSN) - No checking phone until after this is complete
2. Somehow activating the body by stretching, walking or very light yoga (HSN)
3. Shower (HSN)
4. Eating good fats, proteins and carbs (HSN)
5. Warmup (S)

• Warmup is strictly time-bound to ~30 minutes with an awareness of any procrastination or time-creep here
• Duolingo Arabic exercise
• Don't stress or fuss about exact content of the warmup but do things like a little HR, breathing exercise, activate Freedom (content blocker), set goals, read notes, visualise a successful session (Primed Mind)

PLAY
1. Freedom activated to block all distractions on PC during sessions (V)

• I have, of late, struggled with checking my phone from time-to-time (I live in a studio apartment so it's not possible to put it in another room). So I will just need to resolve to put it in a cupboard and avoid the phone until after the session. This is a good habit I have formed in the past and can do again.

2. Don't play more than 6 tables at once (V)
3. Sit out short-handed (3 players) tables to avoid too many spots at once (V)
4. Get back to using in-game tilt-busting techniques more regularly (V)
5. Take a break at the very least every 2 hours. Move around, go outside, take fluids and a healthy snack (HSN) and (S)

• More frequent breaks during latter part of the day's play and/or if feeling tired or bothered
• Take lunch usually half way through
• Resolving to take breaks when you said you would and to stop playing when you said you would

6. Cool-down (S)

• Brief journaling
• 10 minute meditation
• Marking any hands

EXERCISE
1. Go to the gym when done playing (HSN)

• Do not overdo it at the gym
• Light stretch / movement every day
• Interspersed by actual workouts every few days of moderate intensity

STUDY
1. Do 1-2 hours study after the gym (S)

• This entails HR, coaching sessions, reviewing past sessions
• Be vigilant here of chatting in Discord, reading 2+2 or the news or otherwise procrastinating (S)
• Block Discord using Freedom during the first hour of study then post hands when block ends to ensure time well spent and not chatting and browsing the servers. (Removes pressure on willpower.)

REST
1. Daily

• Aim for a hard-stop on work at 21:00 but certainly by 21:30 (HSN)
• Then just chill, catch up on messages, watch fun **** on YT
• Hard-stop on screens at 22:00 (HSN)
• Get back into the habit of reading at night! Great way to detach and engage in a bit of escapism. And, indeed, a source of inspiration and joy as a recurring leak of mine is to become so tightly wound around the poker grind and not allow my mind to drift and consider things that interest and excite me outside of poker.

2. Monday is a complete no play or study day and purposeful efforts are made to anti-focus and really just relax and do enjoyable, stimulating activities (HSN)

• Don't undermine down time by putting pressure on yourself to be creative or interesting with it. Just rest, refuel, relax, laugh, be silly and enjoy. Stay in bed all day if you like!
• Do reach out to friends and family though. Even if only to chat.

3. Monthly, quarterly

• Take 2-3 days and do a road trip or stay out all night or just something else that acts as a deeper reset and entire distance from the grind (HSN)

GENERAL
1. No caffeine past 3pm (HSN)
2. Generally trying to avoid pasta, ice cream, alcohol and bread (HSN)

• Definitely allowed once-a-week. In fact, purposefully making sure to eat and drink whatever your heart desires exactly once-a-week on your day off

------

Volume commitment / raffle
As I eluded to above, a problem that I have had during the past three weeks has been the early 2-3 hours of my grind going consistently well, only for the quality of my decisions to suddenly dip and for me to dust off stacks. This has especially happened as I have logged on at night to eek out another 1-2 hours in order to push myself to hit 5-6 hours of play per day more consistently. This is insidiously ego-driven behaviour as I come across people in the poker community who talk about playing non-stop all the time and having success doing so. It may work for them but it does not work for me.

This is a commitment to not let volume spiral again in the next two months. Below, are the playing and studying hours set in stone between now and 31 October.



This = 188 hours playing online CGs between now and 31 October. (I specify online CGs because if I decide to fire a tournament, I don't want that to count towards the total number of hours.)

I think this is a good idea: free-roll propbet raffle for readers.

1. I cannot play a moment longer than 188 hours of online CGs during this time
2. On no single day can I play more than 4 hours of online CGs
3. Forfeit or failure to meet these two limits = I will create a post with a time-bound call for replies. I will then raffle 1 x $100 cash (by a transfer method to be decided by me including but not limited to Stars, paypal etc) among the people who replied.

If you wish to take part, you will just have to take my word that I didn't break it on any day until 31 October. I record my hours played each day in the sheet and will share screenshots on 31 October.

------

I am well placed and, God knows, more than ****ing ready to take my place among the ranks of consistently winning poker players. But, **** me, it has not been easy. I know I have the ability. It's just about consistent, steady execution of a process. And, paradoxically, that involves a degree of self-care and self-love that I am just not naturally very good at.

It's also important to explicitly note that I love poker and I want to master it. It's a fascinating system that distils human psychology and behaviour in such intriguing ways. And striving to master it lends itself to efforts to get to know oneself better and commit to work on our flaws such as impatience, results-orientation and entitlement so that we can become better, happier people; which, above all, is an act of goodwill towards our loved ones and the world at large.

A practical upshot of this is that my September PGC will change with my playing volume target, specifically, being reduced. And I will talk to my friend about whether we will do 1-2 week duration propbet challenges as we had never finalised the latest one for the start of September onwards.

I will let you guys know how I get on.

That was one of the best posts I've read on 2+2 in the last 8 years. And I skimmed it and plan on going back to address some stuff more specifically. But you have a knack for writing and organizing your thoughts concisely. I would love to see if you can make video content of similar stuff, which would be much easier for me and others to consume than sitting here reading it.

Re gg cashouts, I've not tried direct to bank but I have gone via Skrill and Skrill to bank and usually have the money within a few days.

Will happily take prop bet action against you on the topic. If you are serious. You're right that complaining about it doesn't serve anyone and I'm sure it will improve in the future - I imagine they're pretty busy atm on the back of wsop.

Love your work mate and you've given me some great stuff to scroll back over tonight.

Great post.

You have a fantastic plan and routine for giving yourself optimal performance outlined above but telling yourself you have to hit every target you have set without deviation is going to cause stress unless it is quite close to the way you are currently operating. Building habits is a slow process and should be done in small steps.

Definitely strive for maximum efficiency but be completely accepting that you are not always going feel like doing such and such and forcing yourself to do so will deplete your will power(which is a limited resource) and cause stress accumulation over time.

Also if you fall in love with the process of playing each hand instead of thinking of results and volume you are going to improve and learn far quicker.

Best of luck you are clearly super motivated and care a lot about success but I can tell you with great confidence that relaxing and caring a little less about the macro and focus on enjoying the micro you will find success faster and poker more joyful.

GLGL this month mate, seems a lot of effort to try smash faces in on the appy boys!

Cant add more to what meale said, great post.
Remember building habits takes a lot of time. Dont be hard on yourself if you dont manage to hit your exact routine or follow the day plan. Every little improvement over last day is a win, need to be happy about it and pat yourself on the back. Having unrealistic expactations and thinking of yourself as some kind of a robot that needs to do XYZ no matter what, might have an opposite effect and discourage you from putting the work in.

As usual, hope all the best for you and gl! Im still firm on my opinion you'll end up as one of the game's crushers.

I have the same psychological problem as you have and I really do think it's hindering my game as well as I tend to cut my session short when I feel like I'm close to playing my C game.

Subbed and GL to you!

Hey man, great post and nice thread.

I've had similar struggles and have overcome them. I tried so many different things and always kept falling back in bad habits. What helped me more than anything was setting my schedule up each week in google calendar and sticking to it. It is pretty crazy but this was the turning point in my poker success at high stakes. "Forced" organization was the only way it could have worked for me, I think naturally I'm not disciplined; the bad stuff always snowballs for me and I eventually always wound up in a bad place, sh*t mental game and sh*t schedule.

GL!

Damn I actually related to a lot of what you said in your last post that was pretty interesting. I have been trying to work on a similar approach but it takes a ton of discipline which I struggle with after the 4th or 5th day in a row of doing it. It seems like I get into this crazy circle of being super motivated to slighty less motivated to hating myself for slacking, rinse and repeat. Working on it and getting better but habits arent fixed over night. gl op, subbed.

Great post, and like others have said I can identify with a lot of what you've written and think we have similar personalities. I had to cringe when I read about your obsessive habits, lack of concern for the opportunity costs associated with pursuing goals related to the same, and being poor at self-care and self-love, as I struggle with all of those things, too, and you wrote about it all in a very evocative way. Looks like you've been finding some success in the process of knowing what you didn't know, which is really hard.

Anyways, I only just now (fortuitously) stumbled upon your PGC and for now have only read the most recent posts in the thread so I didn't have the benefit of terribly much context when reading your most recent post but it seems clear to me that you're approaching everything from a solid mindset. My advice, for what it's worth, is to be quick to forgive yourself if you veer from the process but always look to make it right tomorrow. It's a marathon, not a sprint. Seek and you shall find; if your intention is sincere and consistently held you will succeed, just give yourself time and patience. Perhaps consider rereading your post every couple of weeks and examine whether you find yourself falling prey to any of the tendencies you're trying to break. I know I often have a tendency to think "this time is different" in successful periods, think suddenly all of my problems and bad habits are solved, and ease off my guard, only to gradually, slowly end up making the same mistakes I've made before and find myself stuck in the same cycle similar to the one you described early on in the post.

Looking forward to following your journey and wishing you the best of luck.

I am grateful for the replies everybody. Words of encouragement, feedback helping me to identify and fix leaks, and sharing how this resonates with you; you're helping me to see why 2+2 can be a great community. Thanks.

There's clearly some resonance in the community for this type of work and discussion. Wouldn't it be great if you could create groups online centred around really radical accountability and mastering these systems. Like, what I'm imagining this might look like would surely be nothing but huge +EV for poker players. You could get groups together, commit to a system and work through it in sprints of different durations. Anyway, an idea that I'm sure we'll have a chance to discuss more in the future with anyone who's interested.

You've given me extra impetus to show you (and me) how I can apply myself diligently and consistently to this system for the planned duration (31 October). I'm excited to dive in and I now feel more accountable to you all and to myself.

With that, I distilled my most recent post above into the following daily checklist (the most potent form of getting anything done known to man). Feel free to peruse / clone. https://docs.google.com/document/d/1...it?usp=sharing

Here's a SC of page 1 of the checklist...



There are 47 days between tomorrow and 31 October excluding Mondays (my day off). Minus any pre-planned extra days off, which I hope to take around two of, I will complete this checklist 47 times and share it with you. I hope one or two of you will take that journey with me.



I didn't want to reply individually because it's a bit tedious and I do appreicate you all. But.

Olaldipo (and others), it sounds like we're pretty similar in personality. People around me have often said "you're too rigid", "you're doing too much", "you're the most routined, regimented person I know". And that all might be true to them but, firstly, I don't necessarily feel that way. And secondly, I remember all the times that I fall out of a good routine and, like you eluded to, just binge and get extremely unfocused. That's just who I am as a person. Perhaps that's why I always found it so frustrating when people said to me "jeesh, you need to take it easy". The version of my life when I'm not focused is just not rewarding to me.

Karamazonk, similarly. I certainly felt a resonance when I read your post. I actually only learned this year (and am still a novice at) how to apply that profound skill of forgiving yourself. It's an unthinkable advantage to anyone who can do that naturally. For those of us who cannot, it's a battle. I've done some good work over the past 12 months on a concept of 'the inner critic'. I also find the mantra of 'Simply Begin Again' which I discovered through Buddhist meditation to be helpful here. Very nice to meet you and looking forward to discussing these and other topics more. (Haha I just saw the title of the 2015 PGC thread you started... you'll find that we have more in common than we each initially realised...)

-----

I just want to say to anybody who reads this and to you who have replied: I was frustrated on Friday and was feeling acute stress. Firstly, the decision to take a few days off was a good one. But, deciding to write this down and share with you has turned out to be a great positive for me that I can take going forward. So thanks again.

See you tomorrow.

Hi again

#1 / 47







My confidence in my play is low at the moment. That is fine and is to be expected. An important adjustment though will be to play as much as I can and no more. I.e. if the confidence dips past a certain threshold in-game, then we gg. And that's more than good enough for now. That's how we're going to grind this out.

Until tomorrow.

What time are you waking up? What is the reason for 4 hour daily cap?

Hey

#2 / 47







Hey meale--how are you mate?
Have a read of this, specifically posts m1 and m3 https://www.runitonce.com/chatter/mobius-poker-blog/

Also, I'm trying to replicate the really solid system that I got to a pretty peak spot in June when I was my most consistent I've ever been in poker across the board. See below...


And my results, with the help of rungood, duly followed suit...


That's some 25NL and some 50NL on GG Poker.

Alarm currently going off at 08:00. Out of bed around 08:30.

Pokerbros on maintenance again for another three hours... Sigh.

Nice few hours to chill, maybe go for a walk, now until Bros is back online and we get back on it. Glgl everyone today!

My reply to a deleted post was, in turn deleted by mods after I had reported the post as a troll. Thanks to mods for their spedy help and replies. The troll post that I reported called the PGC "gay ****" IIRC. Here is my reply (which I have since edited).

Got my first troll! We're officially up and running. My definition of a troll being someone who says something online that they wouldn't say to your face. If this person saw me IRL, let alone knew me for even an hour, do we think he would suddenly project his little homosexual fantasy in a cute temper tantrum? No, no he wouldn't.

The trolls can be helpful in a way. They remind you to keep moving forward, stay consistent in your beliefs and don't be a martyr; there are plenty of low lives out there who get a little tickle in their loins from trying to bring other people down. That's their net contribution to the world. One must be realistic in that sense and be prepared to reject that.

For those reasons, I'm not one of those people who would "read every comment" to get different perspectives (or whatever the reason given is). You have to block out parasitic people and their unintelligent contributions; how would any of us get anything done if we didn't? Build a nice, tight circle of direct influence for your information because if you're intelligent enough and surround yourself with good people, then you're going to be reflecting on your worldview anyway and asking if there are better ways of looking at things.

Another definition of a troll is someone who hides behind the assertion that "I just have a different opinion than you and you don't like it! Ha-ha!" usually as a preface to, again, typing something that they wouldn't say to your face. But, as (I think it was) Jon Ronson who helped me see in his book So You've Been Publicly Shamed, trolls aren't actually expressing opinions when they're trolling, they're trying to antagonise.

Thank you to that guy for giving me the opportunity to reflect well on this important topic.

Hello!

#3 / 47





Daily reflection
Just another day at it. Nothing major to report. Happy with volume. 3 hours played today, when bros was down until around 14:00. Same again tomorrow.

The exact pace I'm going at now is perfect. I'm serious about maintaining a steady pace until October 31, no disruptions (except possibly couple of pre-planned days off, let's see) and no nonsense. No burn out. All good. Looking forward to a cold beer.

So here's a question for ya. Suppose you want to play 40 hours a week. Occasionally we'll fine bros is down once or twice a week for 3 hours. And so when this happens, we end up playing 35.5 hours overall. Do you think getting a second site to fix this issue is worthwhile or do you think it's fine to just call it a half day when this happens?