The Odd-yssey
09-20-2016
, 03:24 PM
In celebration of the end of our studies, this past summer I and a few companions travelled to the region of Umbria, north of Rome. Indulging heavily in the finest wine €4 can buy our days passed in a happy blur. However, for me this happy state was to be shattered by a curious incident on our penultimate night.
Our villa:
Following a viewing of Peter Jackson’s Lord of Ring: Two-Tower, I bid my male companion good night and we put our less conscious lady friends to bed. Tasked with putting out the final lights, I found myself alone in the dark atrium of our villa. My eye was suddenly caught by a flickering light outside by our paddling pool. Cursing under my breath I let myself out the house and stumbled towards the pool house.
Our pool:
My tiredness/intoxication combined with the sudden emergence of a thick screen of mist made this no easy task. Despite slow progress I soon neared the waters edge. Suddenly a blinding light appeared in the sky, and fell towards me like a meteorite, eventually landing in the pool throwing steaming water in all directions. Knocked to the floor I peered through my fingers and could just make out the outline of an enormous man built like a brick-****house.
The big boy in the pool looked a bit like this:
“Mortal” the giant intoned, “we’ve been watching you for a long time and you are quite lazy”. “We are fed up of lazy players only reading blogs and dreaming of greatness rather than actually being productive”. “To teach you and others a lesson we have decided to bestow upon you a mighty challenge”. “Decades ago 400 men defended The Warm Gates at Troy from plenty of barbarian invaders; in their honour you are tasked with playing/studying 400 hours of poker before the dawning of the new annum or else I will harvest the todgers of all poker players (at this point he threw a small carved statue at me) and destroy the world.” Deflated I went to bed.
The statue:
Since that night I have tried to forget this experience. However I have been unsuccessful. The later terrible earthquake in the region and more recently some very rainy nights closer to home have finally forced me to confront the truth. This was a challenge which could not be refused.
Beginning immediately: 400 hours of poker (v concentrate) by 1 January 2018
5% profits post rake back to be donated to charitable causes.
Threadsavers (NSFW):
Our villa:
Following a viewing of Peter Jackson’s Lord of Ring: Two-Tower, I bid my male companion good night and we put our less conscious lady friends to bed. Tasked with putting out the final lights, I found myself alone in the dark atrium of our villa. My eye was suddenly caught by a flickering light outside by our paddling pool. Cursing under my breath I let myself out the house and stumbled towards the pool house.
Our pool:
My tiredness/intoxication combined with the sudden emergence of a thick screen of mist made this no easy task. Despite slow progress I soon neared the waters edge. Suddenly a blinding light appeared in the sky, and fell towards me like a meteorite, eventually landing in the pool throwing steaming water in all directions. Knocked to the floor I peered through my fingers and could just make out the outline of an enormous man built like a brick-****house.
The big boy in the pool looked a bit like this:
Spoiler:
“Mortal” the giant intoned, “we’ve been watching you for a long time and you are quite lazy”. “We are fed up of lazy players only reading blogs and dreaming of greatness rather than actually being productive”. “To teach you and others a lesson we have decided to bestow upon you a mighty challenge”. “Decades ago 400 men defended The Warm Gates at Troy from plenty of barbarian invaders; in their honour you are tasked with playing/studying 400 hours of poker before the dawning of the new annum or else I will harvest the todgers of all poker players (at this point he threw a small carved statue at me) and destroy the world.” Deflated I went to bed.
The statue:
Spoiler:
Since that night I have tried to forget this experience. However I have been unsuccessful. The later terrible earthquake in the region and more recently some very rainy nights closer to home have finally forced me to confront the truth. This was a challenge which could not be refused.
Beginning immediately: 400 hours of poker (v concentrate) by 1 January 2018
5% profits post rake back to be donated to charitable causes.
Threadsavers (NSFW):
Spoiler:
01-15-2017
, 11:41 AM
Bitter-Sweet Defeat
Despite a strong start a loss of motivation and passion led to only 150/400 hours of play being completed.
Results were as follows:
€326.93 Pre-rakeback profits
€582.75 Rake paid - received back at 30% (apart from a failure to cash November's rake).
$ 26 promotion results
Overall profits of: $536.65 (Charity 5%: $27/£22)
(Sorry about your todgers, maybe they will grow back.)
Despite a strong start a loss of motivation and passion led to only 150/400 hours of play being completed.
Results were as follows:
€326.93 Pre-rakeback profits
€582.75 Rake paid - received back at 30% (apart from a failure to cash November's rake).
$ 26 promotion results
Overall profits of: $536.65 (Charity 5%: $27/£22)
(Sorry about your todgers, maybe they will grow back.)