These are really great posts and things for me to hear and I really appreciate you guys taking the time out to write them here. Tyman--it definitely makes sense, and it's nice to get confirmation once in a while that being unsure of one's self does not necessarily mean that anything is wrong. I think if I were trying a different job I wouldn't feel as anxious, but given the unconventional nature of this specific job I'm not always so sure that those feelings aren't just my conscious self telling me it's time to give up and try something new.

ItsAboutTime--That first sentence sums it up nicely. I worry sometimes that I'm always going to be stuck in this "less responsibility than everyone else" mindset. Having a ton of responsibility I think has always made me more nervous and anxious than most people, and I think lately I've started to not only feel childish--I'm not sure if "childish" is the word but we'll go with that--about the way I'm not putting a tie on and going to work like everyone else in the mornings, but I'm also feeling concerned that this won't even work longterm financially. Last year was my experiment with the job. It started well but ended poorly. So now it feels more real and much less like an experiment and more like an actual commitment. And sometimes I fear that I should just be working to advance some other career before it's too late. The swings of tournaments get to me less than they used to but more than they should.

I think your second paragraph is spot on too and that's basically what the prospective backer told me during his pitch. You can make money playing tournaments, and probably more in NJ than a lot of places when comparing skill level to money earned, but if you don't really figure out cash then it won't be sustainable, and I mean long term sustainable, like not getting stuck 10 years from now realizing the money's dried up and you now need to enter the work force as a 35 year old without any real experience. Which leads to your last sentence about finding a new profession at some point and realizing that this will most likely not be something I'm still doing in my 40s. I think putting some real focus on exactly how I am going to transition out of it is important. And when I do figure all of that out, I'll start feeling more comfortable and confident about playing now, since another losing session/week/month won't feel like my life is ending since I won't be able to support myself or something.

Thanks again for the feedback guys.

I've pretty much played zero poker in the last 3 days. This completely contradicts the attitude I've had recently about being motivated and sticking to a schedule and studying and figuring it all out. However, I think it's best for me right now to be doing what I'm doing. I actually am on a schedule of sorts but it's led to me feeling exhausted by the time I'm supposed to play. Not playing is going to be better than firing up a bunch of tourneys and feeling exhausted halfway through and having that desire to punt them all away. I've gone on a run in the 12-2 range each day, followed by eating some food, showering, taking the dog on a walk, playing with him in the basement (he runs around with his toy like a madman and I barely have to do anything to help him get the rest of his energy out), and by then it's around 4:00 and the effort I've put into the run has me feeling completely exhausted.

I think what I am going to want to start adding in is watching a Run It Once video at the end of all of those things. The dog is quite calm after I've exercised him so I won't have to worry about him at all. It'll be productive and also allow me to relax and not exert any real mental effort. I think I haven't watched videos because I want to make sure I'm fully focused, meaning I don't want to feel tired and watch. But I think watching them a first time, and then maybe rewatching the same video the next day to make sure I understood what I watched could be the way to go.

Running

I completed day #11 of the streak today. 3 miles each day last week, 4 miles each of the first 4 days so far this week, with the plan of going 4 Friday-Sunday as well. Today's splits were 7:00--7:04--6:42--6:43. The reason for that pickup at the end has to do with the segments I mentioned in an earlier post. There's a stretch of road around 0.3 miles long that was listed as a segment, and was clearly part of a race held every July 4th. About 60 runners were on the list for those who completed it and the top 7 were all on July 4 from different years. The 8th fastest time was Andrew Capizzi, my friend who died a few years ago who I mentioned in that same post. The stretch of road would begin around 2.7 miles into my 4 mile run and I decided I'd run it hard enough to try to beat Capizzi's time but easy enough that I wouldn't be dead for my last mile. I turned onto that road, opened my stride, and tried to run about the pace I thought Capizzi had done (he'd gone 2:06 which equate to 6:19 pace). When I plugged my watch in at the end of the run I got to see that I'd gone 2:01 and become the new best non-July 4 time by 5 seconds. Now Capizzi had been going that pace his entire 11 mile run whereas I just sort of picked up for that one stretch, but it made me laugh to see my name in front of his on a running leaderboard when I'd never beaten him in a race in my life. I think he would have had a good laugh about it too.

So in any case, I tried to relax back down to 7:00 pace for the 4th mile but I guess my body just sort of got stuck in that 6:40ish pace. I felt tired by the end but still felt good, and it'll be interested to see how long I can keep up the streak. I might need to start backing down from the pace I'm running and throw some 7:30/mile days in there to ensure I don't get hurt or sick or whatever. But I will be taking it easy on poker until I start getting used to this again and feel that I can play without feeling exhausted throughout the session. I want playing poker to feel fun again and less like a job. I love the game and recently I thin I've taken it too seriously. I know the more time I spend away from it the more I'm going to want to play again, so I'm waiting for that passion to come back to me. In the meantime I'll be getting a lot of mileage in.

Cool thread Dan.

+1 to spending more time on cash games. Also gives you the option of spending some time playing live cash when there might not be a tournament series you would otherwise go to the casino for. I'm sure you get those free weekday rooms at the AC casinos. Take advantage. Go down on a weekday morning and spend a few days there grinding cash with a free room. Playing live helps a lot when going through those periods where you're just not motivated to put the time in online. And even a weekday morning 2/5 game at the Borgata will be plenty beatable.

Thanks Mike! I'm definitely gonna listen to this advice. I think I've posted this here in the past, but if not, I've always found that when I'm in a rut online, playing live helps, and vice versa. But I haven't even considered doing that during this stretch! It'd probably be nice to get away from everyone and everything and just go grind cash for a week and try to relax.

just going to say the advice to main cash over tournaments is just lol bad. thats what i would expect from a live casino reg . sure as an mtt player 7/10 days are losing days, but you just gotta get passed thinking about that.

i will say to clarify something. As far as online is concerned mtts and jackpot sngs will be the final formats of profitabilty available whenever online poker dies, cash will be dead long before that, which can be seen already in the current trends.
if looking to remain profitable passed the viability of online poker and the transition in to live then yes cash is going to be necessary to main. the only reason for this is because currently there are no local casinos offering twice daily $500-2k buyin mtts. this could possibly change in the future when online dies but impossible to know so in that scenario yes focus on cash.

also i havnt kept up on your br/abi but i know i mentioned earlier to you that as an mtt pro a 1k bi br is pretty much necessary and less then that is asking for pain, really once you get your br in a good spot you dont care about losing days or months at all.

rio elite vids are just kinda meh. i cant remember the last time i watched a vid and learned anything, i even let my sub die out recently. if you dont work with icmizer on a daily basis i would start doing that asap. dont even worry about icm ever just focus on chip ev spots in tournaments. mark and check hands every single day, i try to get in 10-20 spots a day. some of the most profitable bots were programed off icmizer and with **** post flop play they crushed just because there chip ev game was so on point.

Don't think anyone is saying to grind cash over tournaments if he prefers tournaments. They are saying that being able to grind cash on the side or on days/times when doesn't have time to load a mtt session is a great way to increase hourly and smooth out the mtt swings. Same goes for learning other games or other formats of nlhe like mtt/sng/cash. Being able to play and win at a variety of things is very useful and will be even more useful as different games/formats start to die. I agree that going and grinding live cash is prob not going to be the best use of his time hourly wise because he has the skillset to win online. Although it's not like the hourly at 2/5 live is that bad if you are one of the better players, just wouldn't suggest it as a full time thing unless you somehow just love playing live poker many hours a week and live right near a casino.

I would say live is the better choice just because OP's hourly is IMO at least $40/h whereas online not sure if that's as realistic. (Not saying he couldn't do it!)

I can't really speak to his potential online hourly that well as idk what the schedule/roi's look like in the jersey tourney scene. However I'd be pretty surprised if his hourly isn't higher grinding online after you factor in expenses (and might even be higher before expenses as well seeing as he plays almost all the bigger stuff that they offer). Idk how far he is from the casino but it didn't sound like he's a 10 min drive or something, so when you factor in the gas/wear and tear on your car/wasted time driving there and back, etc that's gonna take a nice big chunk out of that $40 hourly if that was in fact his pre expense hourly grinding live.

Yeah sorry I meant live cash vs online cash hourly. But good point with the expenses

With live the added expenses are just a small part of the picture, actually being in a casino 40-60 hours a week is gross AF, just breeze and live cash grinder PGC or lvl thread. It's the same issues with all of them, terrible diets, sleeping habits, depression, sickness etc. No comparison to building your dream home office with a chef making your meals putting in real volume

I was thinking about primarily online cash games when I commented. I see less variance and a more flexible lifestyle. Agree that spending too much time in a casino is not ideal but to each his or her own. I wouldn't make the suggestion if I didn't think OP had the potential to clip 10-15k a month in the NJ online cash games which there are certainly a small group of people doing (obv there are a select few others that are winning more than that).

Also coinflipper, how about you grow up in how you respond to non trolling thoughtful posts? I'm sure posting that my advice is "lolbad" gave you a brief surge of superiority running through your veins, but the fact is, OP clearly is having a tough time dealing with the variance that comes with playing tournaments, and I offered both a suggestion to remedy that, as well as my opinion that poker as a career is short sighted/not sustainable.

Really appreciating all the feedback here. No need to throw any insults or get upset; every response I've gotten in the last few weeks or so has been really helpful. At the end of the day I'm obviously the only one who has control over how I go about everything, so I'm completely open to every suggestion and idea anyone has, especially when they're all as serious and well thought out as these posts have been. Playing live cash can be not only profitable but a nice, fun change of pace. But sticking to it long term would probably be bad for me mentally. Basically, I think you're all correct and it's possible to have views that seem conflicting while actually both being helpful and beneficial to me.

I'm about to hop on a train to go home and get my car (finally!). Having the ability to drive to get groceries or to a new place to run or just to do whatever I want in general is going to be another big stress reliever. I'm feeling optimistic about the future lately and running has definitely been a big part of it. Went 5 miles in 34:45 today (6:57 pace) despite the 75 ft incline over 1.5 miles in the middle of the run. That makes 17 straight days of running. Dealing with some minor pain in my knee but just gonna make sure I ice it a bunch and don't overdo it if it gets really sore.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Positive Momentum

I'm very slowly but surely getting myself back on the track I want to be on. Some of the more important recent occurrences:

--I've ran 19 straight days, steadily increasing the mileage each day, and will have ran over 100 miles in January by the end of the month (currently at 86 miles).

--Got my car back on Tuesday. Drove to run at a different location on Wednesday, went to the grocery store today. It's amazing how much more freedom I feel like I have with it again.

--I've walked our dog every day it's been just me and him. It's tough to want to get up and do anything after running but I've made sure to get him some exercise which he desperately needs to get all of his energy and anxiety out. I haven't stuck to the schedule I'd like to with him but I haven't used that as an excuse to not walk him at all.

--Very, very slowly started playing poker again. Tournament here, tournament there, just focusing hard on enjoying it with no stress or frustration. The main thing I focus on when sitting down is staying optimistic, positive, and happy. Every all in I tell myself I will win; when I lose, I tell myself I will win the next one. I don't want to focus so hard on "being professional" and stomping out all emotions as I was sort of hinting at doing in prior posts. Instead, I want to enjoy what I do. I want to get back to the roots of why I wanted to play professionally--because I love poker! I took 6th in a Stars 10K for $500ish and 4th in a $50r as part of the Stars "Winter Series" for $1300. I'm going to do my best going forward to not focus or talk about the negatives unless they're relevant to something else I'm discussing, and to focus on the positives and the good things going on in my life. At the end of the day, I want to be happy, and if poker becomes too much of a negative and something that gets me upset more than it makes me happy, then I will find a new job. But I know in my heart I love the game. I did well enough last year that I know I have plenty of money saved to continue to get my head straight before diving back into it head first. So before I do dive back in, I want to be happy with everything else in my life so that it's easier to be optimistic and positive about all things poker.

That's pretty much everything going on right now. Hanging out tonight probably drinking a little, with the plan being to not do any drinking tomorrow so that I can get some sleep and not feel groggy on Sunday. I'll probably put a very small session in Sunday, and might elect not to re-enter any of the majors. I believe there's a $400 on Stars that I'll most likely play since it's their Winter Series Main Event, so in order to keep buy ins low I might only play the majors and not re-enter at all. In any case, the key will be to enjoy it all and expect good things and not to get upset if they don't come. Feeling good going forward. Jeopardy's on now so gotta run!

Poker

So mdb77 comes in here with some nice advice and then proceeds to end the BOTH of the only 2 runs I've had in a poker tournament in a while!
He busted me when I finished 4th in that 50r and then took me out of the Stars $400 Main yesterday with 33 left! I mincashed for $750 or so...there was over $20K up top and I was just sort of laughing while I played at the ridiculousness of the way the game works. If I run good and win that tournament I'd end up tying my biggest month ever, last January, after playing next to no poker the entire month. I was down to 4500 at 700/1400 and got a few shoves through (lolll) before the money so I definitely feel very lucky to have cashed at all. I was happy with how relaxed I felt after busting all the majors and being left with 3BBs in this one; was just gonna shrug and go hang out with roommates had I not spun it back up. I also got AJ in vs Jermz's AK and got a 2446J runout in a major on a Sunday, which I previously thought was literally impossible, so again, very fortunate to cash at all.

Running

Hope I'm not gonna jinx it with an injury, but running is going very very well. Today was day #22 in a row, and after running a total of 6 miles in December, I went on an 8 mile run today and averaged 6:55 per mile. At one point during the 7th mile I considered turning it into a 10 miler due to how good I was feeling, but I'm glad I elected not to. I checked the data on my watch and the last (and only time with this watch) I've ran 8 miles was in 2013. In fact, the longest run I've done in the last 12 months is 7 miles, and I only did that once. I also ran 6.5 on Saturday (2 days ago). So while I'm pretty excited about how quickly I appear to be getting in shape (just run every day and it'll happen, who knew), I don't want to rush back to the point that I'm putting myself at a bigger risk of injury than necessary. However, given the nature of my job, I can run and use all the energy I want in the morning, recuperate throughout the afternoon, and then play poker at night relatively fresh. I really think I didn't go after running the way I should have in college because I just felt so much more exhausted all the time and had more important responsibilities back then. But now with my only job to play poker and take care of myself, I have no excuse not to just crush it with running.

I'm being very cautious when it comes to injuries though. My right knee has bothered me for a while, but after icing it after each run it's starting to hurt less and less each run. My left foot started bothering me today so I'll keep an eye on that as well. Going in to today I'd run 96.7 miles in January, so I'm now over the 100 mile mark at 104.7. The last time I ran over 100 miles in a month was December 2015. The next month was January 2016, and I made almost $20K that month. I swear running gets my mind in a better place, and I think I'm starting to adjust to how tired I feel after a run and am finding more energy later in the day than when I first started. So let's go February 2017!!

Ha! And both times i didn't even use your chips particularly well. GG UL

Exercise pre-session is also super GTO.

Attempts to embed video have been quite a fail, but this clip is a good one.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S-ixV6nV0HU

DUDE! I am a huge Bojack Horseman fan and I have used that last clip to explain running to people. Usually sounds something like, "so there's this show, where it's a mix of animals and people...but the animals basically are people...ANYWAY sometimes it's profound" and then I explain that scene lol. I love how that guy is just a random scene transition and then they just have him drop the last line of that season. But yeah that line is something I've been telling people about running forever. Anyone can do it, it sucks balls in the beginning, but it really does get easier every day. But you have to do it every day. And to be quite honest, I've never stayed committed enough to the sport to really practice what I preached. I'm now at 23 straight days of running and despite the fact that I ran competitively all 4 years of both high school and college, this is probably the longest streak of days I've gone in a row. And it's pretty amazing to see just how rapid the progression can be if you stick with it. The first day of the streak I ran 3 miles at 7:15 pace and was feeling it. Yesterday I ran 8 miles at 6:55 pace and felt pretty good. Today I ran 6 miles through the snow at 7:02 pace and blasted up a pretty big hill in the middle that had me really sucking wind just a week ago. Running's a pretty cool metaphor for life. There are naturally gonna be some really ****ty days no matter what you do, but as long as you don't give up you're going to experience real improvement and growth.

Any WSOP plans this year?

It'll probably depend on how this next few months go. Every year I say I should go and I'm on the fence and every year I don't make the trip. I mean I skipped the Borgata series because I didn't want to drive down there and didn't want to pay for a hotel, so you can see just how stingy I am when it comes to expenses. That's the main thing that's always stopped me from going. I'm sure I could sell a reasonable package and play quite a few events and have a good experience but having to plan it all stresses me out and I often skip just because of that.

You heading out there year / have you gone before / how many years?

I was the same way until I finally just forced myself to go a few years ago. My friends kept dropping out last minute and I'd decide not to go. Finally I was just like, f this, I'm going without you guys. Rented a house with some other poker players, had a blast. It's definitely not a cheap trip and you're obv paying rent back home while you are over there so effectively double rent. But it's not crazy expensive and it's worth the experience imo. Especially for a tourney player like yourself. If you need help in how to look for a good/safe/convenient place to stay just pm me.

Appreciate that man. The last few years I've had a few friends who get a house who often seem fine with other people crashing, I'll have to see if that's still the case this year. It does seem like one of those bucket list things that I should just do so I've had the experience.

Second the above advice. Expenses higher than usual but total blast and chance for big profit

I only went once 4 years ago but did stay for a whole month. As a cash player the prospects of WSOP isn't that alluring and the games are much less profitable than your average Poker room in Jersey. But seeing thousands of poker players congregate together under one roof really made me proud be a part such an amazing event. Guess it'd be the closest thing I'd do to a pilgrimage. Planning to go one week early June this year.

Also: If you're a foodie Vegas has some of the best "hidden gem" restaurants in the US.

Poker

Won a couple of tourneys in the last 24 hours! Feels good to be getting back into it little by little and doing my best to enjoy it. I for sure play my best poker when I'm having fun and I think that's something I lost sight of over the course of the last few months.

Last night I won the 11PM $30 6 max turbo on Stars. Just a $500 score but it paid for the 3 $100 bullets I fired in other tourneys and then some. And tonight I fired up 6 MTTs and ended up winning the WSOP $100 for a little over $1K. I was in for $998 on the session so today will be a winning day. I'm currently in the money of the Stars 10K, 18 of 19 with 13BBs, and I'm 15 of 22 with 15BBs in the Party 10K with 15 paying. I feel confident that regardless of results I'll be relaxed about it all, and running is no small part of that mentality.

Running

The streak rumbles on, 25 days in a row now. I've ran 26.3 miles, a shade over a marathon, in the last 4 days. I'm averaging 6:54/mile and with my coach now out of the competition (he got sick enough last week to break his streak) I have the fastest average mile over the course of this week by far. Second place overall is averaging 7:14/mile, and the second place male is averaging 7:26/mile (yes, 2nd overall is a girl who has ran 7:14/mile over 23.4 miles in 4 days!) But yeah, the last 4 days has been 8-6-6-6 miles (with some extra tenths inadvertently added at the end). Meaning I've ran the same or more miles in each of the last 4 days as I did the entire month of December. It feels good. I'll be running a 5K on Saturday February 11th and it will be interesting to see if I have any speed to accompany this distance now. I pushed through a half mile uphill stretch early in my 6 miler yesterday to try to take the course record for a segment near my house and ended up running 6:07 pace for that stretch, and then averaging 6:50/mile or so for the last 4 miles, so I think sub 6:00 pace should be pretty easily accomplished in the 5K but I'll have to see how my body reacts when I'm in that environment again. Actually really looking forward to that race.

@WSOP for myself Ive never gone as my EV is always through the roof during the summer; making the same monthly EV at a much lower abi compared to the rest of the yr for the most part. My hourly and overall expectation, when taking action selling into account, would be significantly lower going to LV compared to staying in the comfort of my home and grinding during the summer, always been a no brainer. Always many saying 'go for the experience,' but I play this game for a living and do so to make the most amount of money possible every single day I choose to work, so it's never even been a decision for me.

Obviously different games/sites/etc, but just something to keep in mind

Gl this weekend boss