meh I think I might have literally known every single player at that final table so at some point I think you have to take some non abc lines. I took mine before I got to your table and dusted a million chips off lolol...THAT was definitely out of line for field/structure

I've played this tournament before and there's a few things stopping me from going back. The biggest thing is that I busted what I thought was maybe 15-20 off the money (prizes hadn't been announced yet on day 2 since there was late reg, $1100 for 4x a starting stack). I left the place and got a text from my friend that they'd been paused for 30 minutes because they messed up the bubble, and that I might have actually mincashed. I eventually did become the first to get paid and had to drive 45 minutes back to collect. I also might not have busted the tournament if I knew we were on the bubble since the spot I took was close. So yeah, not a huge fan of SugarHouse, but I do appreciate the suggestion and I think the tourney was soft otherwise. Just can't be annoyed to travel that far for 1 $230 mtt either.

For sure man. I messed around with some sngs on my laptop before going to bed and realized I wouldn't be playing these if I had to write them all down. It's strange because I don't think I realized just how much of a mental drain that was putting on me but after a couple days it's been pretty nice, so thanks to you and others who pointed out my obsession with daily/monthly results being bad for me!

I see you rebuying a lot in the 100s for sub 15bb. Doesn't seem too prudent tbh. I used to do a lot of that as well, not sure if its that +EV to do so. Thoughts?

Definitely something I've thought about and have gone back and forth between my opinion on it. I like to think that I'll play the stack properly and therefore it will be +EV, but obviously not as +EV as starting from level 1. But if the option is to not re-enter or re-enter, than 10-15BBs is enough to make it profitable. I do not know if this is an accurate thought process though. What do you think Norm?

I just give it one go at 10-15bb and if I bust I'm done. **** can get too out of control otherwise.

Yeah I typically don't go too nuts but I gotta admit, this new system of not recording buy ins has me feeling so much more relaxed and willing to gamble lol. I'll definitely have to keep an eye on it but I'm pretty much the last person to lose their mind and gamble too much so I think I should be fine.

Pretty Good Mindset Today

I guess this will most likely be the theme of posts going forwards. Much more focus towards how I'm thinking about everything as opposed to results. To give perspective on it all though I will have to do a little whining! I came 32nd in the Stars 10K with 27 paying (was in for 4 bullets as well). Came 10th in the Stars $100 second chance with 8 paying (2 bullets). Came 11th in the Party $55 with 10 paying after having over 100K from 10K starting at one point. And spun 10K starting in Party 10K up to over 60K before losing with KQ on Q76JK. Looking back I probably could have reasoned out a fold at some point in the hand, but the good thing is I was more frustrated by the fact that I didn't fold than the fact that he had 77. Whether I should be folding in that spot or not, I'm not sure, but at least I'm thinking about that and not the pointless stuff. And finally, I had 60K very early in the Stars $50 turbo after a sick AA>KK>QQ cooler before finding a very interesting spot where I got all in 3 ways on flop with the 3rd best hand and over 60% equity for a 60K pot. QcJc did not manage to get there vs QT and AT on Tc9x4c though, and I eventually lost a flip with 8 left for the mincash.

That left me with the WSOP 10K once again...it seems to treat me well in Januarys. With 10 left the button opened, I 3b AK in the SB, BB shoved 25BBs and I called and was shown AJ. Pot was for 500K with about 2.2M in play. J in the window and I was left with 70K at 10Kbb in my last game of the night.

I folded maybe the next 10 hands. I think this is a really really good sign. And this is the point of all my whining. I had a ton of tournaments with big potential all fizzle out and it would have been easy to just open shove any two the next time it folded to me. It would also have been easy to curse my luck and kick the desk while I folded these hands. There was no punt in my poker game or in my mental game. I did my best to completely calm myself and try hard to completely clear my mind of what happened since it didn't matter anymore going forward. Eventually it folded to the SB and he shoved for my 4.5bbs; since he was in 9th I think I had to take my Q2o and call since letting him pick up the blinds makes it much more difficult for me to find a ladder. I can have the best hand sometimes as well. He had Q8 and I spiked a 2 for the double. The next hand he shoved 3bbs on the button w J3o, I iso'd 9bbs or so in the SB w A9o, BB called with KQ and I found a way to hold to be back to 200K at 10Kbb at the final table.

I think I played pretty well at the final table. With 6 left a dynamic formed where 1st had about 900K and everyone else was between 200K at 300K at 12Kbb. I managed to gain some space and start putting pressure on some of the shorter stacks. When we were down to 4 I was in 2nd with stacks around 900K--500K--400K--150K at 16Kbb. I open KJcc in the CO, BB (chip leader) peels then donks half pot on 865cc. I call, turn 7x, half pot again, I call, river 9x and he checks without much thought. I make the pretty easy shove and he folds without thought. Pretty insane to me, but now we were close to even.

One of the first hands back from break, 3rd place opens the button to 32K, big stack 3b's to 64K (the few times he 3b this player he'd doubled it like this before). I make it 153K with KcKs, button folds, SB flats without thought. Flop comes 963ccc and he donks like 260K or something, I'm guessing it was the preset 3/4 pot button. I shove, he snaps with Ac9s, turn brick river club and I bust 4th in the 1.4M chip pot, missing the 4 figure payjump from 4th to 2nd in the process, and losing a pot that I'd estimate was worth somewhere between $1500 and $2000 in equity (payouts were $3100, $1800, $1100, $800, pot was for 2/3 chips in play and 2 stacks would have been under 10bbs).

No throwing things, no yelling, just a few minutes to let myself feel bad for followed with me getting on with it. I hope in the future I'll be able to not even feel the slightest bit bad about it. I guess in reality I didn't feel bad about my play, and I didn't even really feel bad about losing, but I did flash back to how December ended. I started to get that "woe is me" attitude before I abruptly stopped myself and tried to think about something else. I plugged in balances on each site into my spreadsheet to see I lost $150 on the day. And somehow it didn't bother me. It's like when I don't know how much I'm up or down I don't really care if I'm winning or losing on the day. My focus on that disappears and is replaced with a focus on what is obviously way more important: how I'm playing. It's such a relief to not feel confined to being concerned with whether or not I'm winning on the day, or the month, or in the last 2 weeks because I've been on a bad streak lately. I get to just play. I had no idea the effect the old tourney-logging method of recording my tournaments was having on me.

I won't lie and say taking a beat like that doesn't hurt, especially one that he should probably not be involved in...peeling A9o OOP vs a cold 4b vs the only guy who can hurt you 4 handed with ICM considerations in play...not great. Desperately getting the money in as fast as you can with a pair and a flush draw, folding out hands like AxKc that might bluff chips off to you...not great. Knowing if the chips get in you're flipping for tourney life and just toasting dollar equity for yourself AND FOR ME...pretty frustrating. If I'm him I 3b bigger pre, then fold to 4b, and if I see a flop I'm c/c'ing and making sure that if I get to the river with a pair of 9s I don't go bust before the guy who has 8bbs. But at the end of the day, it doesn't matter what I'd do, the result is the result, and I think I accepted it quite well today.There's a much clearer feeling of "all I have to do is play well and things will work out" now than there was before the new year.

Goals for 2017

I still haven't really hashed them all out but I do want to at least get some down in print.

--Run at least once every other day. Or put into easier language, don't ever skip 2 days in a row. As JasonP said in a post earlier, general goals aren't great, so I think the main idea will be to run Mondays, Wednesdays, Fridays, and probably Saturdays. This might change though since my college coach mentioned to me today that a guy is running a pool--$20 to enter, run 20 minutes every day or you're out, last one standing wins. I think there is probably less than a 1% chance of me winning this, but I do think it could motivate me to get out there for the competitive side of it, and if I get a few weeks in that'd definitely be worth the $20. Sounds like there's about 20 people in it right now and it officially starts on the 10th. Should be fun.

--Watch a Run It Once video every other day. Again, don't go 2 days in a row without watching one. I'll start this up tomorrow since I haven't watched any yet this year. Surprisingly, I did run on Monday and earlier today (Wednesday) so I'm still alright with that one. I'm not sure if I want to sync this up to being something I do on the days I run or on the days I don't, but I'll set it in stone at some point. For now I'll say I'll watch the videos Tuesdays, Thursdays, Saturdays, and Sundays.

There's a ton of general stuff I want to focus on as well, such as eating healthy, mindset goals, maybe even just reading more (non poker stuff), but I want to have concrete goals for everything so I'll have to come back later once I've thought of the best way to go about it all.

Very Brief 2016 Wrap Up

Looking only at how much money I won and lost from poker tournaments, cash games, and bonuses (so not counting write-offs or anything else like that), I finished the year up $49.8K. I made $42K in the first 5 months and made $7K in the last 7. So it was an up and down year, in that order. Same goes for non poker stuff, with the year starting out exciting with me moving into a new place with my friends and being a lot closer to my girlfriend, and the year ending with no girlfriend in an area that is now much farther from casinos than where I previously lived. However, I feel a lot closer to my friends now than I did early last year, and I feel confident that I know who really has my back these days. And sometimes I seem to overlook the biggest and most important thing that happened for me in 2016: at the beginning of the year my dad had cancer, and now he doesn't. His surgery was a success and he showed me what it means to be a man when faced with something terrible that you can't control. It's time for me to start taking his example and not stressing about the completely unimportant negative variance that is involved in poker sometimes! I feel ridiculous to be upset about it when I put it all in perspective. I feel blessed to be able to play a game for a living and I'll be damned if I'm not gonna enjoy the hell out of it in 2017!!!

Went bowling last night with my roommate Kyle and used the bowling shoes my brother bought me for Christmas--they were really comfortable and there's a certain nice feeling knowing there haven't been hundreds of other feet in them. We bowled 2 games and on the 3rd game I was on fire! Went X / X / X X / X / / 7 for the 203 game. My previous best ever was 189. This was also my first ever clean game (no open frames). Threw 5 spares to start the next game too before finally opening one.

Might've drank a bit too much though as I woke up not feeling great. Laid around most of the day before ordering some chicken soup and a grilled chicken sandwich from a restaurant that got me feeling a little bit better. My roommate Tee Dubs came home around 5 and asked to borrow my earbuds to go running with. I was very close to not going today but that seemed like the sign that I needed to get out there. We ran 4 miles in the dark, 30 degree weather, and the under armor stuff my parents got me for Christmas helped a ton. The first mile is a lot of uphill and we took it pretty easy, eventually coming through a shade over 8 minutes. Tee Dubs seemed to be determined today though as I let him pace us to a 7:30 2nd mile. The 3rd mile found us with the wind to our backs and we came through in 7:19, before I picked the end of the run up a little bit to ensure we split negatives throughout with a 7:14 4th mile. We ended up a shade over 30:00 for the 4. So we are on track for the every other day of running, and as long as I run either tomorrow or Sunday, I'll start the "streak" competition on Monday with the goal still in tact. There's a website that tracks everyone's runs so it will be really good for me to get the sense of competition going for that extra motivation.

I think the plan now is to watch a Run It Once video and then start the session around 8:00. I watched one yesterday by Tyler Forrester; the math and logic feels a little overwhelming sometimes, and this is coming from a math major. But when I pause certain sections and break everything down I begin to understand it and it is exciting. It's also funny because I start getting that anxious feeling I used to get in college when I didn't understand something in a math course. I'd often run from that feeling in school and it led to bad grades, but the goal is to embrace the challenge now and overcome the fear and anxiety.

I am seriously considering getting backed after another pitch was made to me yesterday. Financially, I do not need it. But the thing my potential backer pointed out to me that really struck me was something along the lines of, "Look...if you want to make the most money you can in the next 2 years and then just get out of the game and do something else, then staying on your own dime is probably the best decision. But if you really want to do this long term, you're probably going to have to learn how to play cash and how to be as good as you possibly can when deep stacked. You'll need the coaching of someone who can get you to that point and I think I'm the guy for the job."

Essentially I'd look at it as an internship. There are plenty of internships people take where they make no money and the entire point is getting experience and improving their crafts. That is pretty much exactly what I'd be doing, except I'd at least be keeping half of what I make while simultaneously vastly improving my game. I have never been backed. I have never received coaching. And I've now been a professional for over 18 months and have been a steady winner in poker for 7 years. I have to imagine getting more help in those areas could really take my game to the next level and have me in a place to set up an actual long term plan of success. I LOVE the lifestyle I get to live due to this game. One of my big fears was that I would not play as much as the backer would like for me to. But the more I thought about it the more this is a reason for me to ACCEPT this deal. If I am FORCED to play on certain days I won't have excuses to take off. It will be even more like a real job and I might find that extra level of discipline I need in my life. I'm just seeing a lot of good and the only downside is splitting profits. BUT, assuming I'm on pace to make $50K again this year (hopefully I do much better but let's just put that number out there). Then in theory, I'd be making $25K in 6 months (the timeframe suggested for the staking arrangement). I'd owe $12.5K of that to the backer. However, if the backer improves my game vastly, then every extra dollar I make is 50 cents in my pocket that I wouldn't have had otherwise. So theoretically, if his coaching, me being more discplined and playing more, me breaking onto the cash game scene successfully, etc, leads to me netting $50K in 6 months, then I give him $25K, keep $25K, have made the same amount I would have made but am now a much better poker player than I would have been. So there's a chance it completely pays for itself in 6 months, though obviously that is quite unlikely. But I do think my game could be significantly elevated with this arrangement. So we'll have to see what happens.

As I was writing this post Tee Dubs told me there's a brand new Totally Rad 90s Power Hour on Youtube so it looks like I'm doing that tonight instead of a session. I'll still watch my RIO vid and probably play some spins. But this is what I'm talking about. If I have someone over my head making it clear I need to play 5 nights a week, I won't do stuff like this anymore. But right now the only thing I can think is "the whole point of being a poker player is to be able to have fun with the people around me!" I know they won't be disappointed if I tell them I have to work but part of me feels like I need to have as much fun as I can now before I get old. Or something like that idk. In any case, the backing agreement seems like the way to go right now in order to further my career. Hopefully down the road I find a way to be successful enough that I can start backing others and letting my money work for me, the same way this guy is getting it done. But this seems like step one of that process.

This made me smile , bc that is what it should be about!

Nice writeups, enjoying the reads. GL this weekend broski

Thanks man...been enjoying watching you on the old tonkaaaa stream

Sunday Funday

Had a lot of fun yesterday but once again sabotaged myself from playing a real session. The way I act makes me realize I need so much more discipline to make it in this game. However after how my Monday has started I feel optimistic that I will be able to find that discipline on my own. I am so conflicted about whether or not to start this backing deal. The coaching will most likely be invaluable, but I've always loved being my own boss, and to an extent I will be working for someone if I take this deal. I'm getting ahead of myself though, I'll describe my Sunday.

On Saturday night I asked Tee Dubs if he'd be able to take me to the grocery store the next day and he agreed. I still don't have a car, I have run out of food, and I've been ordering every meal and eating incredibly poorly. I set up a temporary schedule, telling him we could run at 11AM if he's up, go to the store at noon, and watch some football when we get back. We stay up watching TV until 3 or 4 and I wake up around 1PM and come downstairs at 2PM to see Tee Dubs in his PJs saying he also just woke up.

We go to the grocery store around 3PM and Kyle has made plans with Tee Dubs to do a power hour when they get back to lead into the Giants game. I am now very tempted to join them but I know I should just be starting my session around 5, maybe 6 is okay too but after that wouldn't be good. For those unaware: a power hour is when you have a shot of beer every minute for an hour. It starts off innocent enough. A shot is 1.5 ounces, a beer is 12 ounces, so you drink a beer in 8 minutes. However, you get to the end of the power hour and start to realize that drinking 7.5 beers in an hour is not for the faint of heart.

We got back from the grocery store and I convinced myself that I could do the power hour, eat some food, watch some of the game, and be sobered up enough to start my session in the 6-7 range. None of us had eaten any food when we started this power hour. In fact, we'd attempted to do a power hour a couple days earlier and realized that having just eaten dinner was a big mistake; we got about halfway through and had no chance. So now we decided we would try it when we are all hungry with empty stomachs.

We not only all completed the power hour, we did the bonus section the video had and finished the rest of the 8th beer in the next 100 seconds. The power hour playlists all play 1 minute clips of songs and when the song changes you know it's time to drink a beer; this particular video has a 10 seconds for 10 songs each bonus section. So we finish, they go to the bar, I make some hamburger helper, eat and watch the game with the dog. It's at this point that I realize I am VERY drunk and am not sobering up nearly as quickly as I thought I would. I wait until maybe 8:00 and hop on my Surface Pro and register the 3 majors (one on each site) and decide I'll lay in bed, play these tourneys, and re-evaluate to see if I want to fire anything else later on my main computer.

The tourneys start at 5:00, 5:00, and 6:00 respectively so I do not have many chips in any of them really. I go AK>KK and QQ>99 in the first 10 minutes of the Party tourney to go from 10K to 45K pretty instantly. I also go from 20K to like 120K in the WSOP major, but do bust and re-enter the Stars major. I double in the Stars major but lose a flip to bust again after re-entry is over so that's it for that one. I chip way down in the WSOP major before eventually having 14bbs in the BB facing an open from a relatively active CO. I have QJhh and really have no idea if I like calling or shoving better. 37 players are left and 30 pay. I call, flop is QT8ss. I check, he snap bets half pot, I call, turn is Js and I c/c a shove. I really don't know what I should be doing in this hand to be quite honest. He has T9cc (I don't get his flop bet but maybe it's fine idk) and I bust and am left with the Party 40K.

I hit the money with 27 left in 12th or so. The hand that sticks out to me comes when I open A5cc in EP. I think I had 88K at 4Kbb and BB peels. Flop comes KT4r, I bet 8750 and he c/r's to 21.5K. I stared at the screen for so long wondering if I had the heart. Theoretically, I don't think BB should have any c/r's here. A c/r for value seems bad. A c/r bluff seems too obvious. I want to lean towards thinking he's bluffing, but I've just shoved in this spot and got snapped off by KJ too many times to make me confident with that read. A c/r with KJ seems really bad to me but people just do it! Maybe that's something to consider in the future; c/r some top pair hands on boards like these to balance when you want to c/r air since people are over c-betting this flop anyway. In any case, I stared at it forever and then folded. If I want to play GTO then I don't think I can shove here; I'm flatting most of my strong value hands to allow him to continue bluffing. As an exploit a shove might be good. I'm not sure if this is one of those cases where I've just been scared money in these Sunday majors my whole career. I think I pass up on spots I shouldn't be passing up on because I want too badly to win these things. But the problem is I don't know if this is one of those spots, and that's often how it feels for me! I'm just not sure if I'm playing scared or if I'm just continually running into bad spots.

In any case I end up with 36K at 4Kbb (maybe that hand came before 4Kbb, in any case the flop sizes were pretty close) and shove A9o in the CO. Button flats 44 and I lose the flip to bust 12th. While I do think I've ran a lot worse than most regs late in these majors (I think I have 1 1st-4th finish and over a dozen 5th-12th finishes), I think I probably don't play well before the final 12 and that leads to these bustouts. But I'm not sure. This is all just a big example of how much having a coach really could benefit me. But at the same time, if I play better, or win the flip, or whatever, and then run good later and win the tournament, then I'm giving $4400 of money I'd normally be pocketing to the backer. I just keep going back and forth on the decision.

ANYWAY, back to the main point. Getting drunk and not putting in a Sunday session is obviously absurd. I think if I have more discipline and structure in my life I will stop doing ridiculous things like this. Having a backer would definitely lead to me not getting drunk and missing a Sunday session. However, I'm wondering if this running competition I've just joined will do that as well.

STREAKING CONTEST! Day 1

I have joined a competition that pits 30 or so runners against each other to see who can go on the longest running streak. The rules are simple: run 20 minutes every day or you're out. Last one standing wins. $20 entry and winner takes all, and knowing some of these runners, I would be surprised if this contest ends before the Fall. So it's going to be a ton of work to try to win $600, so clearly money is not the motivation here. I desperately want to get back into shape. It's a pretty cool system for how it all works--run with your GPS watch, plug GPS watch into computer, uploads onto website, everyone in our club's runs show up every day. There are also leaderboards for most miles run in the week, fastest overall pace, etc. All of this sort of stuff gets me amped and makes me want to get on that leaderboard. In fact, during my run today, I had to consciously slow myself down. The desire to be fast has to be stomped out to make sure I don't burn myself out. I have to run every single day! And 20 minutes for me is 3 miles so it's not like any of these runs are the easiest thing ever (although if I'm ever dead one day I guess I could trot 2 10 minute miles or something just to make sure I don't get eliminated...I don't really want to get into that habit though).

Today I ran 3 miles, 1st one had some uphill (26 ft incline) and I came through at 7:36. 2nd mile came through fast at 7:02 due to lots of downhill (51 ft decline) and the 3rd was a little uphill but I finished strong in 7:10 (21 ft incline). 21:45 for 3 miles felt pretty good, especially given the 25 degree weather outside.

When I came inside I felt so much more motivated to be productive than I usually do. I thought about my session tonight and how I'm just gonna grind it out no matter what. I wanted to watch some RIO videos, eat healthy (which I did, ham/cheese sandwich with some soup), and I just didn't want to sit around in general. I'll go take a shower now and then fold some of my laundry that's just been sitting in the bin for a few days. I plan on talking to my potential backer in person at Borgata when the series starts in a week or so, so it'll be good to see if I really am motivated and put in proper schedules this week. If I don't, the deal will most likely be a slam dunk, but if I do I'll have to talk to him about everything and continue to think over whether or not it's the best decision for me. I'm still getting used to being single and completely on my own and I think a lot of my poor results from the last few months were due to that cloud being over my head. With that cloud pretty much being gone (and only recently did it disappear), I sort of want to know if I can get back to playing how I was at the beginning of last year with those sorts of results (+$40K in 5 months) before I just start giving half of it away again. Time will tell.

Roommates asked me if I wanted to go out to a restaurant yesterday when they got home around 6:30 (with plan to go out later). That sounded like a great idea, but I said no! It might not be that big of a deal but it's a start at least. It also gave me the opportunity to tell them I'm going to draft a basic schedule before each week starts, and if they wanted to do something one of the days I was scheduled to work, or if they were busy on one of the off days, they should just tell me and then I can switch it before that day comes around. Tee Dubs seemed like he liked that idea and Kyle didn't really say anything. I think Kyle hates planning things and would way rather do everything spur of the moment. When I text him on Wednesdays during the day to ask about bowling he almost never gives me a timely, straight response, and when 7:00 comes around I'm still guessing as to whether I should play or skip. Tee Dubs though will just pretty much always go with the flow, so later last night he told me he has something to do on Wednesday (one of the days I scheduled off) so maybe I should play that night and take a different one off. This plan will work really well if I can get Kyle on board but if he decides to drag his feet and not verbalize what he's thinking then I'll just have to take the days off I need to and tell him no when he springs ideas on me last minute. I don't get annoyed that they have to work during the day so it's not fair to get frustrated when I say no to ideas when I've told you I have to work a certain night.

I felt pretty productive the rest of the day yesterday. Tee Dubs joined the running contest last minute so I helped him figure out how to sync his watch up to the computer and all that. I heated up some food I'd made on Sunday and then sat down around 7:15 and started rewatching a Galfond video I'd watched early in December that I thought got my head in the right place. I don't know what it is about this video but I just start playing the game differently (and better) after I watch it. It's like it just erases all that "fear" I have of being aggressive and being wrong. I quickly built stacks in pretty much everything I was playing. Unfortunately, that doesn't always mean the spin ups will continue, and by 9:30 or so I was 1 tabling the Party 10K with no cashes. I took my Surface Pro downstairs and started watching the college football championship with Tee Dubs while 1 tabling the 10K.

I'm actually really proud of how I played the last tournament. I stayed aggressive and actively looked for spots instead of just "maintaining" my stack. I 3b bluffed way more often than I normally do and I think a lot of the spots were good. I felt like I played more aggressively than I did in the 40K yesterday approaching the final table. I had another moment like the A5cc moment I described in the last post, where I wanted to just bluff it off. There were 13 players left with 12 paying, I was close to the lead with 110K at 3Kbb. An NJ reg who's been winning everything the last few months opens to 6K from the HJ; he has 95K to start the hand. There is a stack under 30K at our table and maybe 2 or other 3 stacks in the field under 40K. I 3b KTo on the button to 16775. It folds back to him and he makes it 39K, leaving himself 46K back.

I think this 4b is a complete exploit a lot of the time. I think he noticed that I was playing aggressively, and recognized that this was a pretty great spot for me to 3b light given we're on the stone bubble, I can bust him, I have position, there are a bunch of short stacks he should be trying to beat, etc. The problem with his 4b is when you look at what he's doing with most of his hands, I think this is pretty much AA, KK, or a bluff. Reason: I think he's just going to jam a lot of his other value hands that he feels are too strong to fold. I HIGHLY doubt he's inducing AK on the bubble, or 99-JJ. MAYBE QQ but I *think* that's going in too. So if those assumptions are right, we're down to 6 combos of AA and 3 combos of KK. I also think NJ regs do not attempt to play GTO and are exploiting ALL the time. Therefore, I imagine a lot of the time his thought process is "Dan is not going to EVER jam light here, so this size gets the job done regardless, and if I do happen to run into the top of his range, I get to fold and save 46K and most likely still cash." So I tanked for 45-60 seconds before finally deciding that punting off this stack would just be too painful in this specific spot if he were to show up with AA. That being said, I think I use that logic too much sometimes, and this tournament I did a good job when I was in 4th or 5th not backing down to 2nd or 3rd place stacks by using the justification that I should avoid the spots due to ICM.

In any case, I was able to win 2 out of 3 flips from 18 down (this is the purest I've been late in an MTT in forever ) and even won J6s>AQ of this same reg with 3 left (I shoved 9BBs bvb or something like that) to get it to heads up. I have chat off but my friend texted me to tell me the guy I was heads up with was pretty adamantly requesting we make a deal in the chat box. I thought I had an edge on this guy and wanted to play for that reason, but I also don't want the variance of a 1K+ heads up match, so I decided my tie breaker would be that if I took the lead and he still wanted to chop, I'd do it to get the official W. I won the first few hands of the HU match, he still wanted to chop, and I cashed for a little over $2400.

Again, focusing on each game and not worrying about overall results of the day helped me again yesterday. Instead of focusing on what place I needed to break even, I was just trying to chip up and win the tournament. I think I overvalue ICM in a lot of spots and yesterday I went after pots even when there were very short stacks at the FT. I think this will sometimes lead to me missing some $100-$200 payjumps, but will also lead to me winning 1st as opposed to laddering to 2nd for an addition $800-$1200 enough to make it way way worth it.

I also think I need to just keep watching that Galfond video whenever I'm in a downswing. It gets my head to where it needs to be and I start really playing the game again, instead of being a nitty robot who just makes sure he's not making any big mistakes.

It's 24 degrees outside right now and it's time to run! That's -4 celcius for my Euro friends. It was colder on my run yesterday though! Fortunately my phone is telling me tomorrow is a high of 51 and Thursday is 57! So it'll be a nice little break from having to bundle up head to toe like I have been the past few days on these runs. Excited to go get out there and complete day 2 of the streak! Think I'll have some water, ham and cheese sandwich, and soup when I get back, then a shower and maybe come back to bed and watch part 2 of the Galfond series (again). Being a poker player gives me so much free time during the day that I often just waste, but this running challenge is gonna get me being productive again!

How did the grocery trip go? I too recently decided to start cooking my own meals instead of eating out all the time. I eat sweet potato as my main carb and salmon for fat & protein. It's easily prepared (I microwave both @ 4 mins on high) and tastes amazing.

It went well! To be fair though I'm not gonna pretend like I'm really cooking my own meals. I just kinda have a bunch of stuff that's basically already prepared that at least is healthier than ordering every day. Sandwiches, soups, frozen pizza, watermelon and bananas, cereal, etc. The only thing I "make" (and I'm just following directions off a box) is hamburger helper and that's not really very healthy anyway (but again, better to have some ground meat I cooked than something from a place that delivers). And I refrigerate that meal and have a ton of leftovers; just a big money saver in general. Just having a sandwich and soup for lunch after a run feels so much better than ordering Dominos or some crap like that. The way I feel due to eating habits often affects how much energy I have while playing, which affects me taking creative lines and not staying inside the box. It's taken me a very long time to realize but when I eat poorly I have a very very tough time playing poker well for an extended period of a few hours. But potatoes are a good idea, I'll have to pick some of them up next time I go to the store. I love baked potatoes and that'd definitely be something to good to just have on the side with whatever I have for dinner.

The Centurion is gnarly! We did it using sake glasses instead of shot glasses (2.5oz) when my mate and I were like 19. He puked at minutes 22,26 and again around the 80th. We were sitting in my bedroom listening to music when we decided to take on the challenge, and unfortunately that's exactly where our night ended.
Based on my experience - thinking you could complete it then sober up in time to 'work' is about as optimistic as it gets! Nice try, though


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So when my buddy Max from England was here we were discussing this and he let me know they did 100 shots in England because they can drink more than Americans. That was the beginning of us realizing that there are quite a few differences between English and American measurements that we call the exact same word. The Centurion involves taking 100 shots of 25ml each, where as we're taking 60 shots of 1.5 ounces (44ml). Also, our ounce contains slightly more liquid than an English ounce (fluid ounce vs imperial fluid ounce). Also, our pints are different; ours are 16 fluid ounces and yours are 20 imperial fluid ounces, which is about 19 of our ounces so it's still a little more liquid.

When Max and I eventually figured it all out, it turned out that we were drinking about the same amount of liquid for each game, but ours was in 60 so we had less time to digest it all! We had a good laugh at that since at first I was amazed he did 100 and he was surprised we only did 60.

And yes, very optimistic to try to make that turnover but I really thought I was gonna put some food in my belly to soak it up and be ready to go! Never again

A crock pot could change your life.

Love the honesty of your thread, and GL in 2017.

My mom bought me one for Christmas lmao. Now I just gotta figure out how to use it! I've heard it's mind-blowingly simple so I'll have to bust that baby out soon. She also got me a Foreman grill and the long sleeved running stuff I've been wearing. She gets it.

And thanks man I really appreciate it, and that's definitely the point of the thread. Too often people only reflect on the positives to give off an image that they're doing great and everything's peachy, on Facebook and Twitter and any other sort of social media. I want anyone aspiring to be a pro to see that it's not all fun times and doing whatever you want but it's also not waking up at 8AM 5 days a week and dying for the weekend. You get to do what you want, but if you lack the discipline to do what you have to, you might find yourself facing some difficulties. I'm just trying to learn it all one step at a time.

In the spirit of not focusing on results and only on how I played, I will not discuss how disappointed I was with last night's finish, and instead just state the facts. I took 6th in both the Stars Super Tuesday and the WSOP 10K, for $990 and $530 respectively, with $5000 and $3000 going to 1st respectively. I think I played pretty well and kept my head on straight when I took a few strange hits in each tournament. I could easily have bubbled each tournament as well, which is just another reason not to focus on results. Had I bubbled and ended up with $1500 less than I did have, or ran really hot in both and ended up with $6500 more than I have, it should not change how I feel about how I played or how things are going.

Running

Day 3 of the challenge is in the books, another 3 miler today and my pace is staying strong. I want to make sure it feel comfortable though. Yesterday I split 7:12, 6:56, 6:59 for 3 miles and then ran another tenth for a 21:55 5K. While my watch got it right and the website my watch auto-loads to got it right, the site for the contest for some reason thought I was a minute faster than I was so it recorded me as running 6:45/mile (I was 7:02/mile in reality). So when I sorted the group by overall pace I was #1 at 7:00/mile over 6 miles; in fact, even without the extra minute cut off, I was still at 7:10/mile in reality, which was still #1 in the group of 34 runners. However, for some perspective, I'm 20th or so of the 34 in miles ran, so many of these runners have been going a lot farther than me.

Today I put another 3 miler in and was happy to see I hit 7:15 at the mile mark. I don't want to be going too fast on these things. I felt really tired when I woke up today and I can't be dead after a week and then be having issues getting out there. My 2nd mile dropped to 7:20 and I was also happy with that, before deciding I would open my stride and focus completely on form for the 3rd mile, rather than speed. Sure enough I split mile 3 at 7:03 and it felt pretty good. 21:45 for 3 miles and we have completed day 3!

The House Mascot

I realized I never posted a picture of our dog on here so here he is getting ready to rock:



Leggo Bradley Snider!!

Also shout out to Bradley from some of my posts from the PokerStars Festival, he's currently on the live stream feature table of the PokerStars Bahamas Championship main!! He has Ben Zamani, Sam Chartier, Sam Greenwood, and Timex at his table, and while he was in a hand Dan Colman sat down and has the chip lead. Soooooooo good luck dude haha...96 of 738 left get it done!

Heh the post after I put the dog on the thread he destroys my running shoes, and life momentum is knocked out of me again! I took Thursday off so me and the roommates could go bowling/bar. We decided to give Desmond a chance and leave him outside the crate while we left him for an extended period of time. I must have shut the door to my room 5 times throughout the day, and when I remembered I'd forgotten something in my room right before we left I guess I didn't close it again. When I came back a lot of stuff in my room was on the floor, and when I found my running shoes the soles were ripped out and torn to pieces. I very rarely get angry when I drink, normally defaulting to a giggling idiot, but I flipped out when I saw this. I threw things across my room, screamed about how I couldn't take having a dog anymore, etc (fwiw I did this all behind a closed door with neither my roommates or the dog in there with me, but loud and angry enough that all 3 of them for sure heard me freaking out). Since the contest is to run every single day, I had no choice but to run in non-running shoes the next day, and I'm probably pretty lucky I didn't hurt my feet. I got on a train home Friday so I could go to Princeton Running Company the next day.

So no poker Friday, and being home makes it really hard to play poker. In fact, I keep getting geo-located here, which is extra annoying since it never used to happen here. I guess the new router my family got is the issue? It's faster and better so I don't really understand it but it doesn't seem like there's much I can do about it. And anytime I come home my parents ask me to stay to get some things done, and I'm left with the choice of either missing work or feeling like I'm letting them down somehow. Well, I have to stop worrying about the latter of those points. I think I'll go on a run when I'm done with this write up and then ask someone to drive me back to the train. I HAVE to get a legitimate Sunday session in; going 0 for 3 to start the year is unacceptable. It doesn't look like I'm going to have any real way of getting to Atlantic City for Borgata Event 1, so I might just skip the series and make sure I develop the proper study habits and 5-day-per-week session habits. I really have to start getting on track with this job. Every time I find some self motivation something outside of my control seems to set me off track (I mean I guess I had a little control with the shoes since I didn't shut my door but I shut that door every time I come downstairs and I still have a tough time believing I forgot the one time we decide to let the dog roam free but I guess there's no other way it could've happened. Always gotta get punished the first time you slip up ya know). But it's time to stop letting those things that set me off track KEEP me off track. I have no car, my dog eats my shoes, my parents want me home, I get no sleep because the dog at BOTH houses I live at wakes me up at 8AM...they're all annoying and frustrating but it's on me to figure out how to get around this stuff, and to stop throwing my hands in the air and letting my frustration stop me.

Today's run will complete week #1 of the challenge. I've ran 3 miles every day and yesterday's 6:55 pace felt pretty relaxed. It's not about speed but when the same effort results in a faster pace it's a pretty obvious sign that I'm slowly getting back into shape. One more 3 miler today and then next week I'll attempt to run 4 each day. That way if I ever have a day where I feel like my body is too exhausted to run, I can at least run less than I would have and go back to 3 miles. I'll then most likely get on a 3:00 train to get me back to Bergen around 5:00. Hopefully a roommate can pick me up but if not I'll have to experiment with Uber or walk the 1.25 miles. But no matter what I am putting a session in today. Time to start acting like a professional again.

Last second addition: If anyone watched the live stream, Bradley jammed JJ on KJ2x2 and was called by KK to bust; such a sick cooler. I can't find it for the life of me now but Stars posted it on some Facebook page and last time I checked it had like 400K views and thousands of comments lol. Sick run if you're reading this Bradley and brutal bustout!

if you can get a train into Philly I can give you a ride to Borgata. Hit me up.

Thanks a lot for the offer man...in the interest of trying to really establish a routine I think I'm going to wait until Parx to hop back into the live scene. Pretty dumb for me to skip the opener but I think all the travel and time it would eat up is not gonna be worth it for me at the end of the day. Good luck over there!

Sunday

Went on my run at the Hamilton house, showered, then had my dad drive me to the train at 2:00. Arrived in Fair Lawn at 4:00, roommate was nice enough to pick me up from train. Had a little frozen pizza when I got back, relaxed for a bit, watched a RIO vid, had some soup and watched the end of the first half of the Cowboys Packers game, and started up my session around 6:20. I'm happy with how I balanced trying to relax and getting into a good mindset before starting at a decent time.

Proceeded to bust every tournament I played. My confidence is shot. I had a mini crisis while playing, worrying I won't be able to sustain this long term and wondering wtf I was doing with my life, why I wasn't working a conventional job, etc. Went on to lose a shade over $2K on the day and bring my monthly profits to $11 lol.

First of all, I think I'm gonna be alright. I think I am going to figure out what's been going wrong, what's got my confidence so shaken up, and why I feel like I've "lost my touch" so to speak. It's amazing how important confidence is in poker. If you make a play you think is good and it doesn't work 3 times in a row, are you going to make it the 4th time it comes up during the session? I think this is what I struggle with. I watch some videos, I want to apply some concepts, and then when I do something that doesn't work I wonder if I'm applying the concept properly and start to feel like I'm never gonna get it. Then when the same spot comes up later, I feel lost.

I think the solution is probably to stop trying to apply these things I'm seeing in videos and to go back to what I know and am comfortable with. Learning the theory and understanding what they're saying will help me long term, but for right now I think I need to keep it simple.

I think the little crisis I had while playing yesterday came when I thought about a bunch of the stuff that was brought to my attention recently. I'm 26 in June, so no more parent's health care. I have to get proper car insurance (I'm still using my parents' plan). I want to put money in my IRA when I do my taxes but I'm not even sure I'll have the amount I should be putting there. It's like in the past I was confident I was going to make money each month and now I feel like it's so much harder than it used to be. That being said, I was grinding hard in the past and I haven't done a lot of that since May. And when I used to hit downswings I'd be confident that I was going to "pop right out of them" eventually. So I need to start thinking like that again; I'm going to put in the work, I'm going to put in the hours of play, and things are going to work out. I think it's only normal to have some doubt in any job you do, to wonder if you're on the right path. I'm hitting mine now but I'm not going to give up and I'm going to figure it all out one way or another.

Running

Week 1 is complete. I ran 21.4 miles at 7:05 pace in those 7 days. The leader of the group said that 5 runners broke their streaks in week 1 leaving us with 28 remaining. I think this contest could potentially last a year or longer based on some of the people in the group. I'm not really worried about all of that though; getting into shape will be a big reward in itself.

While looking at some of the runs I'm doing I find this website (Strava) has a feature called "segments." It's just designated parts of roads that people have submitted where you can compare your time on that stretch compared to anyone else who's ran it. When I click on some of these segments around my house, the name "Andrew Capizzi" pops up at the top of a lot of the leaderboards. It's a good reminder of how lucky I am and how I need to keep things in perspective when I feel overwhelmed. Capizzi was my friend and teammate in college, 2 years older than me. Smart kid, nice guy, great athlete. One of the runs of his I clicked on showed he did 11 miles in 6:24 pace and it wasn't even a race or anything! On June 2, 2013 he was riding his bicycle to warm up for a race when he got hit by a car and was killed. He was 24, I was about to turn 22 at the time, and it was the first time I ever lost a peer. As a 25 year old now, it's just so hard to think about the fact that he didn't even get to live to how old I am now. For me to just have the chance to do something I love, even if I fail...I'm so lucky. I think of Capizzi a lot on these runs now, especially since I get to see he was actually running on a lot of the same roads I run now. I didn't know the area at all when he passed away but now I'm getting very familiar with it, and I imagine he'd be happy to know I was trying to get myself back into good running shape. So when things are going bad and I'm getting frustrated with it all, it's always good to take a step back and realize how fortunate I am to have my health and the opportunity to do what I love, because not everyone gets to be so lucky.

Good perspective at the end. I had the same thoughts and worries you did when I was 25(and still do from time to time). It's inevitable if you are a somewhat responsible adult that sometimes you will feel overwhelmed with things in life. I'm 28 now and as I've gotten older I've realized that very few people actually have things fully figured out or feel fully secure in their current situation, financially or otherwise. Growing up you think adults have everything figured out but the reality is that your parents and your friends parents are just figuring life out day by day just like you are. There will always be stressors in life and the best thing you can do is try and keep perspective like you have been and just try to plan/save the best you can for the future. Life itself has so much random variance in it that we never think about that you can't control. Do things that make you happy and work hard at the things you do and the rest will tend to fall into place.

Just woke up so hopefully all that actually made sense. Hope you start to run better/feel less overwhelmed soon. Gl

My honest take on your most recent post: you are correct in having doubts on the long term viability of playing poker tournaments as a profession. I think theres no doubt you are a talented tournament player, capable of achieving big results in the near future. But the nature of the game format you play results in having to frequently having to deal with losing days. Being very frank as a cash game player, I have no idea how one can handle the swings and constant defeats that one experiences doing tournaments full time.

This is negative EV for me personally to tell any winning tournament player this, but the best play IMO is to learn cash games and make that your main focus and transition playing tournaments to a secondary role. In doing so, you give yourself the chance to make steady income. Beyond that, yes poker as a career is suspect as time passes, fish decrease, and we all age, and one should be thinking about how to transition out of this life, ie using it as a Avenue for something else.

Big +1 to all this