Love to see it, keep moving forward!

Thanks guys

Appreciate it Trevor, thanks for always reaching out to me to help me learn from your experiences!

Running

Hit a snag in the running yesterday unfortunately. Two days ago I was on a stretch of road about 200 yards long where there is no sidewalk. My head was up the whole time watching traffic making sure I wasn't gonna get hit. There must have been a pile of branches that I didn't see because I stepped and landed really awkwardly on my left leg. It hurt for about 20 seconds then went away and I finished my run. Felt fine later that day, felt fine yesterday until I ran. About a half mile in my calf tightened up, 2 minutes later a shot of pain went up my leg. I walked home. The rest of the day the calf hurt and even the ankle and knee started to have some pain later. So unfortunately my 6 days/week and my 100 mile June plans are gonna be unobtainable. I'm going to stretch and ice today, Saturday, and Sunday, and then Monday if there's no pain I'll try another run. I'd rather just take these 3 days off and know I'm healthy than rush back and re-aggravate it. It's a similar injury to 3 years ago when my 63 day running streak got broken and that took longer than it needed to for me to get back into it.

My runs before then had been going well though. I was starting to feel tired this week so was just doing 3 miles/day and was considering giving up on 6 days/week anyway. Last week I took Friday off instead of Sunday and this week I'd already taken Tuesday off. Would've needed to run 11 of the next 12 days to keep that going so it was gonna be unlikely anyway.

6/2--32:06 (7:40/7:50/7:46/7:41/1:09 last 0.15)
6/3--23:14 (7:47/7:48/7:35)
6/4--31:43 (8:03/7:59/7:51/7:45)
6/6--23:45 (7:38/7:46/7:32/0:49 last 0.11)
6/7--28:03 (8:05/8:02/8:01/3:53 last 0.5)

6/8--23:25 (7:41/7:40/7:22/0:42 last 0.11)
6/10--23:56 (7:47/7:40/7:40/0:49 last 0.11)
6/11--5:51 for 0.76, stopped due to injury

I feel confident this injury was a direct result of that awkward step on the run, which is just kinda bad luck. If this had been due to me trying to rush back into getting in shape I'd be more disappointed in myself. But I was doing things the right way and now just have to continue doing what I can. Ice and stretch and hope for the best.

Poker

Have finally hit some negative variance! The way I've responded to it is night and day from how I used to. The combination of confidence/money I received from playing/running well for 2 months has my head exactly where it needs to be. Since last update I had a big day on Wednesday the 3rd. They brought back the Keep It 100 promo and I damn near won the first one again! I had the chip lead starting the FT then the guy on my left won every pot and busted 3 players. He proceeded to 3b me 7 consecutive opens. The first few I kept telling myself my strat was still fine, he just had a few premiums and a few good bluffs, but after the 7th one I realized it was likely he was literally 3b'ing any two. Alright fine, let's open a lot tighter and be ready to 4b jam despite being 2/6. It's a really **** position to be in 2nd with CL on direct left but not in my control. Gotta figure out how to deal with it.

Well we ended up with a very dramatic example of an ICM spot. The shortest stack made it clear he would be blinding out, which led to 2nd shortest needing to tighten up, etc. CLer got to literally open every hand since last place wouldn't put the money in which stops everyone else from putting the money in. This Keep It 100 tourney is one of the few WSOP actually has a good payout structure in so the payjumps were relevant here and needed to be paid attention to.

After starting the FT with about 1.5M to 2nd's 1.2M, I was down to 650K with 6 left. Despite this, I still had a big gap on 3rd place lmao. With blinds at 25K/50K, CL has 4.2M. I have 650K. Other stacks are 425K, 400K, 130K, 100K. It was a mess. 130K guy has refused to put the money in and has doubled when auto all in in the bb a couple times. I have not attempted to open a hand, CL has made it clear he's gonna close his eyes and put the money in with any two. I haven't worked at all with limping strats so I didn't feel comfortable going to that. This would've been a clear spot for it but it's rare in NJ you've got someone putting much pressure on you in these spots, let alone to this extreme.

So when I get dealt AA on button I actually have 2 options here. I can open, feeling pretty confident this guy is just gonna rip any two, and take my 85% equity to double, knowing that 15% of the time I'm out in 6th. Or I can just jam and likely pick up the blinds. I ran some numbers later and opening (as opposed to jamming) is the clear play. I also thought maybe this guy would realize I haven't opened a hand in 15 orbits and fold sometimes but he was very intent on not letting me ever get an open through! I open, he jams KQo, I call and actually have both his suits covered too (spades and hearts), making me an 88% favorite. Board runs AdJdTdKd8c and I bust in 6th for $4800. 20K up top, 15K to 2nd, it stung a bit. But again, so much easier to deal with given how things have been going. I was pretty damn tilted about getting laddered by the guy who handed the mtt to CL by folding every hand when he was in a clear 6th, but that's life. I finished my session strong, taking 2nd in a Party 215 series event for 6K.

Since then I haven't had a winning session! Saturday I couldn't get mentally checked into my session. Busted 3 bullets of 500 circuit event, 5 bullets of 215 100k, and just called it a day. Sunday was my 29th birthday and I was extremely tempted to skip playing. I was feeling really down about how shitty people can be and really had no desire to play poker. Luckily for me my girlfriend is incredible and despite all the quarantine issues, she was able to get me a great meal and surprised me with this big bag of presents. Just another reminder of how many things I have going for me and how there's really nothing for me to truly worry about. She gave me the energy to at least play the majors.

Busted 4 bullets of Party 320, 1 bullet of 525 WSOP main, and 6 bullets of 215 100k. Almost saved the day with the Stars 200 but eventually busted 9th for $900. I was glad I played though.

Monday was yet another abbreviated session but I wasn't totally planning on playing that day anyway. On Tuesday I finally felt back in a rhythm. I still didn't get a full session in but it was way better than I'd been doing. I finished 10th in the 250 on Stars for $565 and 5th in the Party 535 for $2640, small loss on the day.

Wednesday was another losing day but again I registered through 9:00 so was at least in somewhat of a rhythm. Yesterday I completely felt like myself for the first time in about a week. I played 5K in buy ins, 26 total bullets fired throughout the day, registered all of the 10PM tourneys. I cashed 5 tourneys with the biggest runs coming in the Party 320 (4th for $1980, lost a flip for a chance to be in 3 way tie for 1st), and the WSOP nightly 100 (5th for $1000, about 4500 up top). I also finally cashed a circuit event, 46th in a 320 with 50K up top. So I lost $900 on the day but there were quite a few runs and I really did well to get the full session in and stay focused throughout. I was 9 tabling for a large portion of the session and felt really comfortable and in control.

So I'm back to 5 figs of makeup but it's not bothering me at all. As long as I play the way I did yesterday each day I'll be fine. I made a play yesterday that I thought was really bad and just extremely lazy. I thought about it, asked someone about it, and moved on. It's tough to play perfectly but as long as you can acknowledge mistakes without getting down on yourself abou them it's totally fine. I think I'm in a great place right now and am excited to continue doing my thing.

Happy belated bday! With these games and doing profit splits whenever out of makeup that's just gonna be how life goes a lot of the time. Keep up the good attitude.

Thanks Ty! Yep, you're just always in makeup and that's how it works. Feels like I'm consistently getting more and more comfortable with that idea.

Thinking About Variance

I haven't had a winning day since June 3, despite having put in 10 full sessions since then ! I've played about 35K in buy ins during those sessions and my mindset has been great despite the losing. I've had multiple sessions where I'm 1 tabling a tournament with no chance of having a winning day. 1st might be 3K and I'm -3.5k at the point in the session. The lack of stress I've felt while 1 tabling that tourney, combined with the continued focus on it despite a losing day being inevitable, has been very encouraging. There have been several of these losing sessions that have gone from 4K losing days to 1K losing days because I stayed calm and kept playing my best.

This past Sunday was a great example. I had 200K at 5Kbb in the 525 circuit main with about 120 players left. First place was 127K! I open QQ to 11k utg, mp 3b's to 37k, I jam, he calls KK, and I'm down to 2bb. For perspective on how big the pot was, he was 3/120 after winning it. I actually folded a hand or two then won a hand to find myself with 5bb in the BB with K9. SB jams 95s, I see the 5 on the flop first but there's a K there too! Board runs K8565 and I bust 104th or so. After the flop I was preparing for the fact that I'd have 11bb in the SB in a WSOP tourney that finally has an okay structure (15 min levels) but it wasn't meant to be.

I was left 1 tabling the Stars $100 10k, knowing I was about -$3200 on the day now with 1st being $2800. I think at this point I was like 13/18 with $200 locked up or something. It's a weird feeling to go from being in the thick of things in a tourney with 127K up top, to being on the bottom half of a tourney with <3K to 1st. But I just have not been feeling that anxiety and frustration that usually falls in after a loss like that. I stayed calm, didn't force anything, and just relaxed while I played. I went from 45K at 6Kbb with 7 left to 450K at 8Kbb with 6 left. I had the lead HU for a while but wasn't able to close. However, once again, I'd picked up 2K at the end of a typically pretty frustrating session, and gone from a -3K day to a -1K day. Instead of frustration in these sessions I've just felt a sense of calm lately. My focus really is on decisions so when things go poorly, I don't think much about them and instead think about my next spot.

Yesterday I was once again looking at a -2K day. I was down to just the Stars 250, where I was ITM but something like 10/11 with 90K at 6Kbb. I was also in the WSOP 500 where I was something like 10/50 but only 20 spots paid. I got dealt AA on the button in the Stars 250, hj opens to 13k, co 3b's to 45k, I jam, hj folds, and co tanks til literally <1 second left in timebank before calling Q7o. Flop is 774 and I bust in 11th.

Meanwhile in the WSOP 500 I grind into the money, jam 13bb from co with KJo, get called by AQ and bust. This was the main thing I wanted to talk about when I titled this post "Thinking About Variance." There's naturally a different feeling people get based on how they bust a poker tournament. Lose an 80/20? You got robbed. Lose a flip? Emotions can vary, from "I never win these" to "welp 50/50 can't complain." Lose a 40/60? Shrug. Lose a 20/80? What can ya do. There's a different type of "feeling" for all of these that is hard to describe but I think most tourney players know what I'm talking about.

At the end of the day though how dumb is it to care at all? When you're focused solely on decisions then the only thing that's relevant about my bust hand is that I shoved 13bb in co with KJo. It's hard to get too much more standard than that. Should I feel differently when I bust to KK? When I bust to KQ? To TT? To 22? To T6o? Do I deserve to win more or less based on which hand calls me? In all honesty I think the only thing that should be relevant is that when you bust to T6o, you think to yourself "man it's nice to live in a market where people call off with T6o!"

I used to get very annoyed when people would write stuff in chat after I bust the way I did in that Stars 250. Imagine if ROW crushers excitedly chatted about hands they weren't in late in MTTs? It's just something we'll never see. But in my market we've got guys who are playing every night 3b'ing Q7o and talking about it afterwards. Three of the five guys left at the table, all of whom I play against almost every night, were beaking about the hand that I just got knocked out on! My focus should be on how lucky I am to be playing in this market, not on any of the other noise. I'm so lucky to be able to do what I do here in NJ. There's no reason for me to get frustrated by the things I can't control. I need to continue to find the positives and just keep working on my own strategy. Despite this recent downswing I'm feeling more confident than ever.

have you thought at all about playing some cash on a side?

mtt variance is just silly and you're missing out on pre black Friday levels of softness

Certainly something to think about, Ty has recommended that in here a few times. I feel like I want to actually feel great about my MTT game before I start trying to learn a new discipline. I'll throw cash up on the side once in a while but until I really feel like I've got a very solid baseline MTT strat I don't think I want to try to learn something else.

Good luck in the wsop Dan

Thanks! Will update soon...

...

...

DEREKKKKKKKKK DABOIIIIIII WADDUP WIT IT

hi monkeyman

hello numbers guy

Since Last Time

Last post was June 17 at which point I'd recorded 11 losing sessions in a row. I booked a win on the 18th, took the 19th off, bigger win on the 20th, and a 24K winning day on Sunday the 21st after winning the $500 6 max on WSOP for my biggest score ever (25.6k). Day off the 22nd, another win on the 23rd, and lots of losing since then.

Losing

I've been looking at these "downswings" in the last few months a lot differently than ever before. They don't really even feel like downswings anymore. I'm just playing poker. There are three big aspects that led to this shift in thinking for me.

1) Increased Opportunity. With the coronavirus and so many people in quarantine there have been so many big tournaments. Add to this that the WSOP is completely online this year, with 31 events in 31 days on WSOP.com, and we've never even sniffed these types of chances in New Jersey online since Black Friday.

2) Financial Stability. Oftentimes when I'd lose and be upset by it it was because I felt I "needed" to win. Sure, I had enough money in the bank to pay the bills, but there wasn't a whole lot more than that. I knew if I didn't win something in the next 3 months I'd have to crack into a savings account I didn't want to touch. This led to way more frustration than there should've been whenever I'd run bad at a big final table (or even at a small final table, "I can't even win this one??"). This financial stability I've found is due in part to aspect #1. The extra opportunities led to extra volume which led to big results.

3) Personal Growth. I'm the most proud of this because without it, the other two aspects wouldn't have been possible or mattered at all. Before I went on my hot streak I had to really calm down and figure out how to grind while under that financial pressure. The opportunities presented to me wouldn't have made a difference if I didn't stay focused throughout my sessions and realize that a few bad beats isn't an excuse to stop playing well halfway through. This growth has also led to me not feeling like a loser when I'm losing. I've come to truly accept that I'll always be in makeup (that's just how backing works) and being in a lot of makeup doesn't mean I'm playing poorly.

The key is to truly be introspective and be completely honest with yourself. If you really are playing well, then just keep doing that! Otherwise, don't feel bad or guilty, just figure out what you need to improve on. And even if you are playing well, continue to learn more. It's great to execute your strategy perfectly and play your A game every time you sit down. However, you can make your A game better by working hard away from the table and expanding on the knowledge you already have.

The Online WSOP

We're at the midway point of the series and so far my results have been underwhelming. Building off of what I've been talking about in this post so far though, I'm really not bothered by that. I'm making runs, I'm feeling comfortable throughout, and I'm confident that if I do get presented an opportunity deep in one of these that I will be ready.

So far I've played 11 events and fired a total of 15 bullets. $13,600 in buy ins and 2 cashes for a total of $6506. I finished 24th of 919 in event 2, a $1000 8 max, and 94th of 854 in event 5, a $1000 freezeout.

Some things to think about on why it's so pointless to think much about results like this.

1) I finished 146th of 1016 in event 9, a $1000 6 max. 143 paid ($1656 mincash).
2) I finished 85th of 496 in event 14, the $3200 high roller. 63 paid ($6031 mincash).
3) If I'd mincashed both of these events I'd be profitable so far on the series and would have a somewhat impressive 4 cashes.
4) If I had moved from 24th to 9th in event 2 I'd be even on the series. 24th to 6th gets me to +15K, 24th to 1st +156K. Oftentimes the difference between these positions is a few flips (JCarver rivered a win in a flip to bust me from this event then went on to get 6th himself).

Should I feel better about myself and how I'm playing if I'd won the 2 all ins that more or less caused me to bubble those tournaments? I was somewhat live in both (AT<TT for 20bb each in event 9, QJs<AK for 19bb each in event 14). If I had won those hands I probably wouldn't have thought much about them at all and been proud of my results so far. Why should losing those hands change the way I perceive my efforts in this series?

The Rest of the Series

I feel very ready and motivated to grind out the rest of the WSOP. Going forward I've planned out off days of Monday the 20th and Thursday the 30th. I'm going to attempt to play every other day in July but am going to be honest with myself. I have a contingency plan in place in case I find I'm getting frustrated or feeling burnt out. I'll allow for 2 other off days maximum. The first would be Thursday the 23rd, when a $500 KO freezeout is on the schedule. Doesn't feel like the worst one to miss. The 2nd day would be either Monday the 27th or Tuesday the 28th. Monday is a $400 freezeout, Tuesday is not a NLHE event. On one hand, it's nice to play bracelet events, but on other hand, the rest of the schedule on Tuesday will be much better than Monday's. So I'll play it by ear.

Out of Makeup!

As the WSOP wrapped up in late July I realized I was going to need to cash something big or I was going to be staring at a lot of makeup. I imagined the following months would provide far fewer opportunities to win something big than I was getting used to. I remember getting to July 31 and only playing a few tourneys alongside the main. I thought I might need to take an extended break if all of the hard work I put into July left me with only a large amount of makeup to show for it. I got down to just the main left and we'd been out of late reg for a while. I had a decent stack, got AK in vs AK pre, lost to a flush, and took that as a sign to take my break. The next day, August 1, I went tubing on the Delaware river with my girlfriend and my family and it was very relaxing.

I took the 7 days after that off as well and realized my mind was in a great place. The frustration of the previous month was there for a day or two but after that I was thinking completely clearly. I was in the most makeup I've ever been, a shade under 30K, and I felt completely fine. I probably was more stressed a year ago when I was in 5K of makeup than I was after this WSOP. I was thinking completely rationally about everything. I was playing very big buy ins every day and re-entering a lot of them. All of the bracelet events were turbos when the money was on the line. I made runs in quite a few events. To pound home the reality of it all I opened an RNG, put it to 1-100, then spun it a bunch of times. I tried to make myself get really excited when it was 1-50 and really sad/mad/frustrated when it was 51-100. After about 10 spins you start to feel VERY stupid. I likened this to feeling good or bad about how you're doing in poker tournaments. These very often come down to how good you run late. If you string together a bunch of 1-50s, grats, you win lots of money. If not, makeup gonna be high! A week away from the game made it very easy to accept all of this and allowed me to laugh at how easy it is to get really worked up about all those 1-100 spins.

My first day back was Sunday August 9. I played 6 total bullets of MTTs and final tabled the Stars and Party majors. 7th in the Stars 200 for $1600, 1st in the Party 215 for $7300. I was happy with how I played but I continued to laugh about how excited I'd have gotten about this in the past. I spun a bunch of 1-50s and I wasn't about to get all giddy about it.

The next Sunday I chopped the same tourney HU with the chip lead, this time for $6800. The Saturday after that I won a series tourney for 8K. Tuesday Sept 1 I won the Super Tuesday for $5900, Thursday I won the WSOP 500 for a little over 9K, Sunday the 6th I had a bunch of scores combine for 4K in profit (including a 7th in my beloved Party major) and was down to $2500 in makeup! I planned on updating this thread as soon as I cleared makeup, which seemed inevitable.

Well, after crushing it for a month straight after my weeklong break, that last $2500 took me over 3 weeks to clear! I'd spun a lot of 1-50s in that month, and to be honest I spun a lot of 1-50s in this past 3 weeks, but seemed to ALWAYS spin a 51 when I had a shot to clear makeup! Tuesday the 8th, 15/431 in a big 50r; Wednesday the 9th, 10/169 in a WSOP 215; Tuesday the 15th, 7th in the Super Tuesday and 20/143 in a WSOP 500 with 20K up top; Wednesday the 16th, 6/96 in Party 109 with 3K up top, 4/432 in 30r on WSOP for 2500 with 9K up top; Thursday the 17th, probably the most exasperating day. 5/55 in 250 Thursday Thrill, 5/97 in Party series $535 PKO where I lost a flip for 30bb each. 15K up top in that one with bounties involved; I cashed for a little under 3K. And the most frustrating tourney of the day, the WSOP 500 I'd won 2 weeks earlier. I had about 70% of the chips 3 handed then found a way to get 3rd. Cash for $3700 instead of the 9K win and am still in about 2K of makeup!

Cash the 215 Party 6 max as part of their series but don't finish it off on Friday the 18th, cash the $320 PKO on Party the next day but no win again. Sunday the 20th I make some runs in a few tourneys but end up with just the Party 109 FT at the end of the day, needing a win to save it. Have to settle for 5th and am still staring at a small amount of makeup!

Monday the 21st I'm 2/18 in the final $215 PKO series event on Party. I have 1M chips at 24Kbb and CL is at my table with 2.7M which is just an insane stack at this point. He just finished 2nd in the main for 55K or something (day 1 of the event was Sunday and the FT was played out earlier Monday night). This guy is clearly just trying to win every bounty on the table and does not give a **** about playing this tourney well. He 4x's over a limp from MP and I have 66 in CO with 40bb. In it goes! He beats me into the pot with KTo and rivers a T. Rational, first week of August, removed from the game Dan would see this as simply another 51-100, who cares. But not gonna lie I was a little tilted by this one after how things had been going!

I come back the next day, Tuesday the 22nd, and finish 12th in the Party 109, 9th in the Stars 100, 6th in the WSOP 30r, and win a small $215 KO tourney for $1300. Net result of day, -$461. I think somewhere in the few days leading up to this I realized I was focusing waaay too much on results. Time to get back to focusing on the process. Stop sweating the MU number and just play poker.

So I started making some cash game charts and working hard at getting better at poker. I've been working hard consistently ever since April but I wanted to put a concerted effort into focusing exclusively on that. I've played over 7K cash hands this month and am planning on continuing to study and play cash. I've felt pretty comfortable playing and look at it as a fun challenge when someone is at my table who I'm not sure how to handle. The systematic approach you can take to cash really suits the way I think about puzzles and logic and games and all that. If they aren't playing GTO then there is a response that will beat them. If they're 3-betting you relentlessly you can call and 4b more, or you can open less, but there's always an answer. If they never 3b you then you better open a ton. There's just always an adjustment and I'm really looking forward to figuring these out.

As it seems to always go, when I focused on getting better instead of the results, the results came very quickly. Maybe it's just that the days they didn't come I didn't care. Sunday I played 6 tourneys (with a bunch of re-entries) and cashed 5 of them, finishing 11th with 10 paying in the one I didn't. I finished 11th, 16th, 26th, 46th, and finally 80/613 in the big $555 with 75K up top, but the results didn't matter to me. I only made 1K and found myself now less than 2K away from clearing MU, but I was more focused on making charts and studying and getting better at cash, so who cares how many 1-50s vs 51-100s I spin?

I studied Monday without playing then put a lot of volume in Tuesday (yesterday). 700 hands of cash before tourney session then 7 hours of tourneys. When my table count in tourneys got low I filled with a few cash tables. When I was down to just the Super Tuesday I had 2 cash games going and it was really relaxing. It's like the stress of being short handed in a tournament is just washed away because I've already been short handed in my cash games for the past couple hours anyway.

I had like 500K (from 25K SS) at 4Kbb in this thing. The structure is very slow and I whittled down for quite a while at the FT but there just isn't the stress and pressure I used to feel at all anymore. The ups and downs aren't phasing me and it's very encouraging to see. I managed to win it to just sneak out of MU for the first time since June 24 and I'm proud of that. On top of the MTT win I won a few cash buy ins which translated directly to profit since the tourney cleared MU by itself.

I'm really happy with where my game, my work ethic, and my mind is right now. I feel bigger and better things coming. The only thing that can stop me is a lapse in my effort level and I'm not going to let that happen.

Keep up the process Dan! Having followed you for so long it’s exciting to see you playing this higher abi while continuing to make strides and improve. You seem to have found a good setup in terms of the people you’re working with and how you’re studying/approaching the game. There seems to be a new high water mark in confidence developing that portends good things moving forward...

^^ You’ve developed a viable approach and routine to significantly improving your game (most poker players don’t), so it’s a matter of taking a professional approach, continuing to refine the process, and doing the work. That’s a pretty fortunate place to be in as a player so hope to see you take advantage of it... good to see you’re working on your cash game! Keep grinding.

DANNN, are u selling any action for the NJCOOP?

Really appreciate that man!

Sorry I only just saw this but I wasn't selling action anyway.

The End of 2020

Haven't updated this thread in a while because I'm still trying to figure out how specific I'm going to be when it comes to talking about my poker career going forward! For all intents and purposes I have made the switch from tournaments to cash in the last couple months. In September I started playing some cash but didn't put much volume in since I was still trying to play a healthy tournament schedule. October was more of the same and with the amount of frustration that comes with tournament downswings my backers and I decided to take a 2 week trial period where I'd only play tourneys on Sunday. I'd try to get cash volume in every other day of the week I was playing.

I played a bunch of 1/2 those first couple weeks of November and when I felt comfortable I started to dip my toes into any good 2/5 games I saw running. I was pretty nervous at first but realized the more I played with guys who I thought of as crushers, the more I realized they're just doing the same thing I'm doing. They're probably doing it better than me, but having the coaches I have, along with the brain I have, made the process pretty painless as to getting comfortable moving up stakes.

By December I was playing sessions of only 2/5, playing up to 8 tables at a time (normally 6 is my max though). Eventually it was time to repeat the process, this time with 5/10. I got in the mix on the 10th and have since been hopping in any 1k games that look good. The plan is to continue this process, eventually feeling very comfortable with the swings at 5/10 and moving up to 10/20, getting comfortable there, and eventually getting into 25/50. I'm pretty optimistic about this given I was a little nervous playing 1/2 in September and October, I was nervous playing 2/5 in November, and I was nervous playing 5/10 in early December. I feel very comfortable with it right now and plan on hopping in good 10/20 games at some point this month.

For 15 years, which is now about half of my life, I have known that my brain was built for poker. I have deeply loved strategy games my entire life. In 1st grade I so thoroughly dominated a math competition that my teacher asked me to sit out any time we played it the rest of the year. I got an 800 on the math SAT. I don't think I've ever met someone who can do mental math quicker than I can. I have always loved the idea of someone being rewarded based on how well they perform at whatever it is they do. I remember being a 5th grader attending a small in school carnival hosted by the middle schoolers. I walked up to the wheel that had 6 wedges, one of which won you candy or something. I spun the wheel and then got so angry when the kid running it just stopped it with his hand on the wedge that won me the prize. I didn't want it given to me, I signed up for a luck based activity and whatever I got was what I deserved!

I bought a Rubik's Cube in August, having never tried to solve one before. After two hours I'd learned to solve it and I can now consistently solve one in under 45 seconds (with a 26 second PR lol). Throughout my life when the stakes have been high in a game or competition I have thrived. Some people get anxious or nervous when more is at stake; I've always turned that into some level of sharper focus that I didn't realize I had beforehand. My brain is built for poker. Well, other than the losing part.

I am one of the worst losers I know. I cannot handle losing. If I had to estimate the records of my basketball teams from 4th-8th grades I'd say we went something like 150-15. I was tall and a good shooter and was always the 4th or 5th option on my team. We were very good. I did not ever learn how to lose. My parents signed me up for baseball in 4th or 5th grade and my team went 2-14. I cried way more than I'd like to admit during that baseball season and had absolutely no intention of playing that sport again. When I lose at board games I get all quiet and need a minute to regain my composure. If I lose a game I often just won't play it again. I've broken a few controllers by slamming them on the ground after playing Rocket League. There's definitely some stuff buried deep in my brain that a psychologist would love to work with but I've tried my best and can't seem to figure out exactly how to change the way I feel about a lot of this stuff.

So my brain is wired for poker but I am an absolutely awful loser. Seems clear as to which discipline I should focus on right? Well for 15 years I've pounded my head against the wall playing tournaments. Tormenting myself in a game where 80% of the time you sit down and lose. Constantly going through a cycle of telling myself I suck and I should pack it in, then winning a tournament and feeling great, then downswinging and wanting to quit again. It's a miracle to me I managed to make a living doing it for 5 years.

Thank God my buddy realized it was time to switch. I enjoy the grind so much more. Getting AK in vs QQ and losing now costs me 1 buy in, not 42. The guy who plays like a maniac that I just can't seem to make a hand against will actually be there tomorrow for me to try again. The KK vs AA cooler literally doesn't matter; it's a buy in and you'll get it back next time the hands are switched. That just doesn't always happen in tourneys; the KK vs AA cooler might happen in your deepest most important tournament run of the year. And it might happen with 11 left when you're in 2nd with 130bb and you somehow get it vs the chip leader! Am I being too specific? And if you win the tourney you'll get 300K and your sad looking 150K hendon mob page will start to look a little bit more like a professional's. And the ****ing TD might reneg on his offer of a hotel room SINCE YOU DIDN'T ACTUALLY MAKE THE GOD DAMNED FINAL TABLE SO YOU GOTTA DRIVE 2.5 HOURS HOME AT 1 IN THE MORNING AND RESIST THE URGE TO DRIVE INTO A TREE!!!

Sorry, little outburst there. I haven't really had any of those since I started playing cash. Sure there are frustrating moments, but guess what else you get to do during a cash session that isn't an option in MTTs? You get to click sit out, take 10 minutes, and come back. What a luxury. You also get to play 3 hours, stop for 1, get some food, watch a show, then come back for another 3. This is the form of poker I was built for, and it only took me 15 years, 5 of which I played poker professionally, to realize it. On to 2021.

Welcome to the dark side haha, cash game is the way to go. I’ve just moved back to Jersey a few months ago, guess I’ll see you at the tables!

Haha nice post, obviously considering my past advice in your thread I think this is by far the right move for your career. Best of luck in the transition. It's not like cash is a 100% smooth grind with zero variance but obv you'll have a much less stressful and smooth grind than tourneys. Glgl 2021!

Sounds good!

Yeah you've been saying it forever and it was clearly good advice. I've dabbled with cash from time to time but never put a lot of effort in to take it seriously. I finally did that and I'm really glad I did.


Checked this off the list on Sunday. I've been fortunate to run good in the games in which I'm playing higher than I ever have before. Part of this is due to being VERY selective of the games I get into when moving up to a new stake. I'm really pleased with how quickly this process has been moving along and it encourages me to keep working hard. I've played 18K hands in the first 18 days of the year. I don't really have any volume goals. The only actual goal is to stay motivated to playing and working hard, which generally means 5 or more days per week of playing for me with some study on those days and some on the "off" days. 2/5 felt like an intimidating shot take 2 months ago; now I feel relatively comfortable playing 5/10. Gonna just keep working hard and making sure to focus on the process over the results going forward.