About a year ago I find myself in a great live 10-20 no limit game. I'm crushing and have run my stack up from $5k to around $37k....having the best single session of my life. Sitting to my direct left is the 2nd biggest stack at the table, a legendary hyper aggro whale. Long story with all kinds of intricate details and craziness short, we get into a massive pot where I check raise jam all in on the turn with just an overpair and get snap called. In a few moments after the river brings his back door flush, after giving him a fist bump and sincere nice hand comment, I'd realize I just lost a $45k pot in a ****ing 10-20nl game with 84% equity. One orbit later I'd get coolered in a boat over boat situation and lose a $16k or so pot. In a span of 25 minutes (the bigger pot with whale literally took around 15 min) I went from having my best session ever, being one card away from having $60k in front of me, to leaving a $2k winner. Upstuck like a mother****er, to say the least.

That story is just one tiny example of the volatile nature of live poker compared to online. I mean, I just looked through my online database from the last few years and the biggest pot I played (I lost trying a suicidal bluff at 2knl of course) was for......480 bb's total. Pretty lame, if you ask me. That pot I lost a year ago was for 2,250 bb's!

Live poker at the higher stakes is kinda like online poker...on steroids. Almost everything is magnified and more complex. Effective stacks are much deeper, and the money is all there right in front you. Emotions are higher, ego's are much more involved. There's more pressure due to the dollar amounts being effectively higher and all the eyeballs on you. Embarrassment is a real thing. There's more bad players leading to more deviation. More exploitation. More tilt in more forms all around. More social interactions and potential distractions. You have to deal with all kinds of people and their issues. You've got social pressure. You've got jealousy and envy. It's just all so amplified and real.

Obviously everybody knows online games are tougher than live games. There's really no disputing the fact that there's less fish and way more good regs in the ecosystem. But it's simpler than live poker. Meaning you can stick to your base strategy more, it's much more robotic. There's less variables to take into account by far overall. You can isolate yourself in a room and just play poker. Of course online has it's own set of challenges that are you don't have live. **** happens quick. Subtle tilt is common. The sheer number of decisions makes it harder to play as many hours due to mental fatigue. I've had so many disconnects online costing me $1,000's and/or forcing me to quit my session. You're playing against a lot of other really good players. Some like the isolation, some like myself don't for the most part.

I'm not leading to any concrete position on which form of poker is harder to make a living at. They both just are. They are both really hard, and they are both easy in their own ways. Either way, there's going to be a lot of pain. A lot of this depends on your personality, goals, lifestyle design, inspirations, etc.

For me personally, I like live poker much better and choose to put more hours into it. It fits my personality better. When I play too much online I feel isolated and get a feeling of what's the point of all this ****. Even though live is super slow, and boring at times....I think online is way more boring after a certain point due to the repetitive and simpler nature of it. And even though I'm mainly competitive with only myself in poker, the fact you get to see your opponents live brings out the best in me. I do think overall it's more complex, and mentally it's tougher for sure. Which to me makes it much more interesting and challenging. Not more challenging to beat the game or have a better win rate compared to online. But to reach my potential, to play my best and up to my absolute potential highest hourly. I think since there's so many more factors and things pulling you off your A-game live, the ceiling is higher. To me, live poker is more of an art form. And there's more room for growth in all areas as a result. There's higher heights to be reached in live, if that makes sense.

But I think a balance of at least a little bit of both is optimal imo. I think one should choose one form to put a majority of their time into, but still put time into the other. The benefits of doing so for me has been huge. Just knowing I've got a significant expected hourly in both has given me comfort. When I'm running bad or sick of one form at the time, I just go do more of the other. I look at it kinda like people that play a mix of PLO and NLH. But this is better imo.

Finally, a couple suggestions to live players....followed by a couple suggestions for online players.

Everyone is aware that online games are tougher. So what I've observed is that many live regs that are pros or just pretty good players, don't touch online at all. I think this is a mistake not only for the mental benefits that I mention above. But here's a few more reasons: (1) you are missing out on improving/learning from online. Live players would get better at 3b/4b pots and better at btn v bb and sb v bb spots big time, (2) apps and private games online have grown and you want to have experience, (3) there's always the chance that eventually California passes online legislation leading to a cascade of events and bringing online back where there will be potential good money like we haven't had in a long time to be made.

To the online guys, DO. NOT. UNDERESTIMATE. LIVE. POKER. Give it the respect it deserves when you play. If you've only really known online poker, it's so easy to hop into 5-10 no limit and higher games live and just think your'e crushing the game for a high hourly. Be humble and realize without the experience you will be off in many of your assumptions. You just simply don't have the needed experience. It's a different game. Mentally it will be tough to play your A-game consistently. I experienced this for myself and I've seen it many times with other players over the years. I don't mind having a winning small/midstakes online player that has little to no experience live at my table. I'll just leave it at that.

Anwyay, that's all for now guys. I've already spent too much time typing this out. I could go so much deeper/expand, and I did leave out a few things I wanted to get into. But maybe another time.

Nice post

Really nice post mate. Have been lurking for some time this thread now and your posts should read anybody who is in the early stage of their poker career. Keep them coming

+1 - Looking forward to part 2 / deeper / expanded / other points

+1. Although I do not plan on playing fulltime, I think he's right with not picking one or the other. I've played almost exclusively live for 2.5yrs and now have switched to almost exclusively online. I'm humbled by how much i'm improving by dedicating myself to grinding online. There will definitely be carryover to live play when i start mixing it back in.

Copy/Pasted Ramblings from bed at 11:00pm last night after a beer and a couple whiskeys

Well here we are. Maybe this is the moment I’ve been waiting for all year. All year when trying to figure out how to keep growing. Where I’m gonna go. That quiet feeling of s*** has been too comfortable for a little too long now. Maybe this is where I’ve been nudging myself to. Because I haven’t been my best self. I’ve slipped on my play, my drink, my eat, my health. But maybe this is what I’ve needed. I’ve got a large 5/10 bank roll tax bill coming soon. I’m down x amount online. I’m down x amount live. I don’t feel great about my play lately either. I fully support family. I got baby due in 3 months. Maybe this is what I wanted.

I wonder how much of it is subconscious sabotage so I get my back against the wall. What I’ve always felt and done, but just to lesser extent these days. Wonder if I committed to something outside of just playing and had more balance if that would be the case. If I was going down a path that challenged me more at this point. If I was more inspired.

This life really isn’t for most. I’ve been thinking lately... I wonder how much it all affects me deep down that I’m not aware of. But either way here I am and guess what. I’m ****ing happy. It turns out it’s not really about the money. I mean it is kinda. But not really. Bc I like the challenge. I like being forced to be my best. That’s what’s so hard and so great about pro poker. It forces you to be a better person. I wonder without it if I’d be happy and drink less etc bc don’t have constant slight worry in the backround. Or I wonder if I’d be a ****ing wreck if I wasn’t in the business of showing up and performing. Either way this is the life I chose. Or did it choose me. But here I am either way.

I’m grateful bc I’m in top 1% of world lucky. And even among that group I’m living an amazing life. I mean it’s almost a joke. Yesterday I played 3 sessions but less than an hour each. I went in hot tub in middle of the day. It’s a great life. Sure there’s pressure of supporting family by ****ing gambling and dealing with variance and my mistakes. But everyone’s got **** in own way to deal with. And I’m experienced and well prepared. And now I’m ****ing excited. I’m sick.

I’m leveling up numerous areas. March I was a b****. April is my b****. I just want to work and level up. Level up my workout game (**** injuries, using as an excuse too much), level up food and drink and health, level up meditation, level up journaling and writing, level up mindset, level up my exploits been working on, c bet strat, problem solving and in- game bluff catching process, etc.

I'm still working on specific pre flop stuff but it’s lead me to some parts in my process that has slipped. I’ve gotten back to simplicity in some ways and not so robotic in others where I can just exploit. I’m journaling. I’m writing specific targets for pre game. I’m meditating. Here I come. All about preparation. All about the work before I sit. Then when I sit across from you at the table it just looks dumbed down. It's just an appearance though, no one sees the preparation. And who are you, other than a reflection of me.

Then I just have fun and play the actual game. That's the art of this poker s***.

Thanks for the reply, great post. I've definitely found that decisiveness is a key factor in playing well. Also the the mindset of trusting that my results overall will be better if I trust my instincts, rather than worrying about the times they will be off. Always good to be reminded of stuff like this.

Its amazing how often my instinct to make a "big" fold or call turns out to be correct when I start counting combos in review.

March





March was a fail in almost every way. I ran the worst I've run in a month in a long time. I wasn't healthy overall and didn't drink less, like I'd planned at the beginning of the month. I also played much worse than I expected to in March, which was subtle but mostly because of my life outside the felt I think. And I got sick the last week, which ended up lasting longer than it should have I think due to lack of healthy living and stress. I am happy that I played 135 hours and studied a decent amount though.

With all that said, I'm incredibly grateful that March happened. Getting sick came at the perfect time for me and allowed/forced me to hit the reset button on my life that I wanted and knew I needed to at the end of February, but had failed at. I've now effortlessly (without resistance) changed some of my habits. I've simplified my focus and life a bit, and I feel more motivation and energy for poker than I've had in a long time. So sitting here now, I actually feel like March was necessary and a huge positive overall for my future.

I'll probably review my 1st quarter goals and go over some goals in a different way for the 2nd quarter in my next post. Right now wrt poker though, I'm solely focused on fixing my biggest leak that I've had on and off for years. Which generally is being too assumptive on rivers at times, leading me to making some really bad folds. It's more than that and I could go into much greater detail if I had more time right now. But that's the gist of it. And I'm dedicated to systematically eliminating it from my game as much as possible - more dedicated than I've ever been with anything in poker. Literally, that's all I will be working on in my game for as long as it takes to feel like I've accomplished this. I really feel like it's the last major thing in my game that will have a huge impact on my win rate.

April go any better?

Or May?

Nope, won around $5k in April and lost around $20k in May. Only run good has been at stakes 4x below my highest volume main stake. First time in years I've run terribly live and online at the same time. Also payed a huge tax bill in April, as well as a couple other unforseen significant expenses around the same time.

There's been a ton of money going the wrong direction while being the sole provider for my growing family.

Basically living the poker dream, feeling like I need to......

Talk to the man upstairs, hoping he answers my prayers
POKER feel like the jungle, lions and tigers and bears
Pray for OP

Seems rough. I hope things turn around soon

Sorry man, that's the worst when the life expenses/taxes stack on top of the run bad. Best of luck, hopefully will get some heat asap. gl

Thanks guys, appreciate it!

It sucks seeing such a huge chunk leaving your roll bc of taxes, expenses, and a few months of ridiculous run-bad. But I’m grateful for how well rolled I was. I’m def still under no immediate financial pressure at all.

I’ve also learned how little losing $40k+ from poker and much more than that from taxes/expenses over a month or two bothers me at this point in my career. Its showed me that in the future I’ll be prepared to handle being more aggressive with playing higher stakes. As long as I have some safety net in my taxable brokerage accounts, I think ill be mentally strong/stable enough to handle very large dollar swings. And I fully trust myself to know when to back off if need be.

Which leads me to the future. Part of the reason I started writing here was to gain clarity over where I’m headed in the next few years. By the end of 2018 I finally felt like if I chose to, I could step back or even walk away from playing full time knowing I’d reached a level in my game that I could feel good about. I wanted to keep growing and my crossroads over the next year or two would be to continue trying to climb the ladder in stakes (which is tough for where I live beyond 10-20 nl) or transition into something business related with poker and/or the real world.

Over the past couple months I believe at this point I’ve clarified my path. **** the business ****. I’m sticking to the no coaching, no social media, anonymous poker dad game. I’ve got a great life. At the worst, I think I can stay playing the same games and living the same life I have been for a few years now for at least the next 3-5 years. If things in poker world change a lot over that time I can adapt or get out then. But I really see myself re-building (for 25-50+) a bit over the next 6 months to a year and sometime hopefully in 2020 start traveling a bit to play in the highest public live no limit games available. I plan on only playing online one day a week going forward. And only 2-5/5-10nl (likely very little 10-20nl since I’ll only be getting in an average of 5hrs a week online and won’t be as sharp for online) as more of a part of a study routine. I just really like playing deep stack live no limit, and also feel like it’s the way to make the most money. If I execute and have some good luck I could see myself potentially being somewhat financially free on this path in the next 5-10 years. I’m also going to start studying tournaments finally in a couple months and begin playing them late this year/early next year and hopefully be prepared for WSOP 2020 to fire some tournaments and play big no limit cash. I’d also like to transition into other money making opportunities that the poker world provides if/when I have some success in said games.

It’s funny....many long term and older pros like myself no longer have the stomach for large swings, and are more bothered by variance. I think I feel the opposite really. I’m currently at or close to my peak wrt ability, confidence, mental game, etc. But I’ve always been on a unique/different poker journey than most pros. And I realize I need to take advantage of the rest of my 30’s for my family and our current/future life.

I’ve kinda stopped posting here because there’s just not much benefit for me and it’s a time suck that takes away from getting better/putting in hours/hanging out with family and friends. I might update from time to time or I might not. I don’t like the idea of posting good results and then going through a rough patch and disappearing all of a sudden, so maybe I’ll just keep posting monthly results till it really turns around....we’ll see.

Peace

Nice post friend and glad to see you back That said, if you suddenly disappear from this thread, I will know that unlike most posters prior to you in PG & C, that you are in a happy/successful place and that your silence will speaks louder for it. Peace.

Sounds like a really good plan and def agree with you about that path being the most lucrative. Especially the live tournaments as they seem to have by far the softest level of competition these days, just can be rough btwn the variance/travel expenses for them. Have enjoyed your thread and hope to see more updates, but it's def a time sink that doesn't provide much value to yourself so def understandable if you spend that time elsewhere. Feel free to hit me up if you come to wynn boston or if you go to wsop next year and wanna meet up. glgl

+1 on softness of 5k live MTTs ; you will send me a PM if you do happen to come play one in Montreal, right

well that brings me hope wanna play live again bad. actually one sports bet longshot (which werent as long as odds suggested anyway) took £200 to casino, no nothing to you but basically everything to me ha (not even exaggerating) built up to near £800 little over or under, lost 800bb pot sb vs bu (he had over £1000 in his stack so got involved with the only other big stack and dude who covered me urgh) anyway i f*cked up bad!!! 3b the bu £60 cause there were limpers and bu was so deep i was cool juicing bet £90 flop mainly as people just float regardless rivers were being seen put that way, with tptk aqs (hit queen)and bet £250 turn so big (just cause we were deep to me and i thought lower flush might call 2p and sets in particular as people sticky as hell with them even with straights and flushes there.... i turned my flush btw) had like pot left on river exactly basically little over or under and i quickly (too quickly ship it....) i got smile on my face loving life nut flush, guy tanks asks how much i got i say £400 ish tanks wee bit 45secs calls im still oblivious think got this in bag table sounds surpised says played it well till river ha im like ok cool cheers dealer begins pushing it my way then they all stop him and and shout no no hes got fullhouse urgh, i genuinely missed it the thing i was targeting got there on river and i open shipped like a **** i blame missing it on the lighting or my poor vision ha so dumb it was a 4 and there was a 4 on the flop too turn was a 3 so he turned a set of 3s when i turned my flush with tp, i know i should of check called or check folded maybe river if he shoves maybe i dunno, i got carried away and just missed it pants, he said was little worried about set of queens or 10s cause 3b pot but whos folding fullhouse anyway, fun 1hr45 while lasted only played 4hands (won 2 lost 2, even got away from kings post one hand, won nice deep one with combo draw in 3b pot) i wasnt even upset losing stupidly was happy smiling took me 3hrs for it to sink in that i lost £1600 pot (next day it was worse, but in the moment i genuinely didnt give a sh*t which is dumb cause im like poor poor i live off £8-£18 a day thats my budget depending if i travel or not, maybe that is why i didnt care cause got naff all anyway i dunno) and the most money ive ever staked on a bet, when i can barely afford a cab train fare ha, i went out ate mcdonalds went cash point withdrew £50 played 2 hands of blackjack lost both game over sat on street for next 5hrs waiting with watching the drunks and street performers till the trains were up and running back to where i live (out in the middle of nowhere, well not quite but out of m25 just).
i will return one day hopefully before my birthday, just need to get internet connection sorted out and get better and well use bankroll management i guess tilt less.
anyway what you said about live poker gives me hope.

July 1st was one of the scariest days of my life. My son was born healthy and happy, but my wife suffered complications. There were some confusing and anxiety ridden moments in those first 12 hours. She's fine now. After a longer recovery, everything has been back to normal for a while. I'm grateful for the experience - it was life changing. It clarified my values and was the spark that lead to many changes I've made in the last couple months.

I didn't play any poker in July. Since I started playing again, I've worked hard at it becoming a peaceful and inherently satisfying part of my life. My poker life has been very different the past couple months. It's been great. I climbed out of my 4 month "downswing" sometime in August. I'm not totally sure how I did results wise in August and September. I no longer track daily/monthly monetary results. It's not an intelligent stat to record. I'm just focused on executing the systems I've put in place that will get me where I want to go.

I'm going to start posting here again a couple times a week..

Great to have you back bro, and with that much wisdom, apparently

Good to hear. Congrats on the new baby!

Glad everything worked out alright! Congrats on the baby!

A few weeks ago I made the decision to become a writer. Apparently to identify as a writer you need to write, a lot. Therefore, my system is simple and designed to get me started writing daily. I must start writing within 5 minutes of the first sip of my morning coffee. A no-brainer habit stack. Then I write about anything I want for at least 15 minutes. And that's it so far. I started out even smaller than that at first. The key is making small, sustainable improvements that create the habit and don't take too much will power.

I've done this 20 out of the last 21 days. Some days I've written in my phone like a diary. Some days I type about a specific topic on my mind. A couple of the low inspiration days I've literally just started writing about how I don't feel like writing. Anything to just keep doing it every day.

This is excellent insight. Thanks! I’ve known many online guys who say “lol live poker” when they go to the casino and before you know it, their bluffs get picked up by recs repeatedly, they pay off mega nits, they get hit and run, they’re seeing 25 hands per hour and then they go on mega tilt. The live players become the one thinking “lol online guys”.

Subbbbed, cheers to both you and Tyler who have given me many hours of awesome reading material here. Ty and gl