One Step; Go

"You're either getting better or you're getting worse." That quote resonates with me for both poker and life. I live that quote. I've always oscillated between periods of getting better and worse in countless ways. Like I'm addicted to it to the whole game/process of it. It's probably just rooted in fear of failure, and a bit of a self-destructive streak in me. I want to me on a more consistent path going forward, and leave that **** behind. I believe consistency truly is the only path towards greatness and achieving your potential. It's something I lose sight of at times when small things in the moment don't seem like a big deal. But they add up greatly over time. At this point, that will be the theme of this blog. I think writing here will help hold myself accountable. I believe just writing things down and putting them on here for others to see will be big for me. The life of a professional poker player can be lonely at times, especially if you don't really have true poker friends like myself. It might also be cool to look back on this in the future for myself and maybe even my family/friends. Anyone who ends up reading this should getting something out of it too.

Briefly about myself: I'm a Dad/husband in my early 30's. I've been a professional poker player for around 10+ years. I've never had an official "real job" in my life. It's been a long and unique journey, this poker thing. My path has prob been different than most pros who play the stakes I do or have been around this long (maybe explain in another post). I currently play 5/10-10-25nl live, and 5/10-10/20nl online. I'd say around 2/3rd of those hours are live and 1/3rd online.

Brief Professional Goals: For the next couple of months I want to study and work on my technical game much more than normal. To keep this post shorter, I'll prob just explain why in a later post. But I will be doing more on this front than I ever have. I want to be smart and efficient about it, though. I'll be doing more work at first for the online environment, and then move on to specific live things. By this time next year, I'd like to have the bank roll to shot take up to 50/100nl live games and play a decent amount of 20/40+ live. I currently have the br to play 20/40nl, but not super comfortable when taking into account my high monthly nut/having like 6 months living expenses saved too. 5 years from now, I want to have at least played in some of the bigger public live nl games available in the US ( no desire to play above 50/100 or maybe 100/200nl) with a very comfortable roll, while at the same time having invested an average of at least $50k/year in the stock market. Basically, I need to absolutely crush for a few years. Especially because I'll most likely never be playing over 1600 hours in a single year, and am not willing to sacrifice life balance too much for too long of an extended time. I expect to run good overall and just feel this is the path I've been on and where it's leading.

Quickly on health (this intro post has gotten way too long): I need to push myself much more with working out. I've been eating better the past 2 weeks and need to keep it up. I've put on like 5 pounds of pure fat the past 6 months. I also want to cut back the frequency of which I drink alcohol. Prob average 5.5 days/week of drinking. I want to get that to 4 or less (not easy for me ). I sleep so much worse when I've had alcohol, which obviously has huge ramifications.

I've been thinking about starting a blog for years but could never pull the trigger.

So today (as of this moment) I'm getting better.

Best of luck to you OP! You got your first sub

And your 2nd. As a fellow father and husband in his early/mid 30s that threw in the towel after 2 years as a pro, I wish you the very best of luck!

#3 here. I hope you crush it! I've got similar aspirations so I'll be following!

Subbed.

I'm assuming you're around LA or Vegas. Can't think of anywhere else that spreads games that high regularly.


Goodluck man, looking forward to reading about your journey.

thanks!
Thanks. What did you play as a pro? What are you doing now? Btw I think that's the best decision for the vast majority of pros, especially with kids/wife etc. obv. For better or worse I don't have anything to fall back on, so I'm all in on this life for years to come. That reality used to freak me out, but it's ultimately forced me to succeed and is prob a big reason I've survived so long. I've now accepted it fully and it's helped my success and happiness/level of comfort a lot. But honestly, I've prob just been able to accept it fully these past few years because of where I'm at now and with how good life is. Oh, I also feel like a part time job (or just a job you don't have to put in 40hrs at the office) that can cover most/all of living expenses mixed with poker is a great option though as well for many.

Cool thanks. What you play currently?
Ty. You're question is a tricky one that I've been thinking about and at this point I'm not sure how open I'm gonna be on the live side of things yet. For now, I'm not gonna say where I play and intentionally be kinda vague about it. But fyi I didn't say I would necessarily be playing that high regularly. Just basically want the option to if I think it's the right play for me in the next couple years.

Sick Blog

Makes a first post and then doesn't come back for a week and a half, nice job OP!

Man it's harder to find free time these days with a kid - even when on vacation. I'm gonna keep this one short. But was on vacation so haven't played much lately. I have still managed to study a decent amount considering everything. I also bought a new desktop, a couple new monitors, and a new laptop so that's taken up a decent amount of time.

Anyway, as I said in my reply above I think at this point I'm gonna be intentionally misleading/vague about my live play. I'm not sold on this at all though and not sure if I'll change my mind. I just want to stay anonymous and not reveal where I play or have been playing exactly right now. It probably doesn't matter at all though. Also not sure if I'll be sharing my exact live results, for a couple of reasons. I don't even know how to post screenshot from phone to onto here anwyay.

Below are my results online so far this year. I'm up a few k on another site as well. Disregard the all in EV part, it stopped working over a few months ago for some reason and now always just shows the same as my actual results. As far as live, I've played a total of 538 hours and am up more than I am online.

I played MTTSNGs starting out (just before Black Friday). Transitioned to live cash for about 8 months after BF. Moved on to 6 max super turbos with some live cash mixed in.

When I decided to move on, I decided to get into the insurance industry (low barrier to entry with large residual opportunities and high income potential).

5.5 years later I'm a benefits consultant earning a very healthy living while playing poker for fun =).

I played successfully and covered my expenses no problem working a very reasonable schedule. I stopped playing when I realized that unless I wanted to travel a bunch or relocate, my earning potential was capped at about $70/hour on average (mix of $2/5 and $5/10).6 max supers were also drying up.

Sounds like you definitely made the correct decision! Thx for sharing.


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Half Way There


Crushed it in June, which was nice after losing a little bit in May. I was also playing really poorly live at the end of May/beginning of June. This sometimes happens to me when I'm crushing online at the same time. But the 2nd half of June I got back on track and playing well at both. Below is all June results, except for around -$5k on another untracked site. Obviously running really hot, and I clearly didn't put in that much volume actually playing (96 hrs). But I studied more than usual and got a couple new computers and monitors and setting all that up took way more time than I had anticipated. Plus it's summer and life is short .





2018 so far:

The first 6 months I played a total of 755 hours w/ about 75/25% split of live to online. I'm really happy with that considering my history, the fact I value quality hours over quantity, and my target hours I had in mind at the beginning of the year. I'm not quite as happy with how much I've worked on my game off the table. But I'd still give myself a B- grade, and I know the next few months will make it so when I look back on the year in January I will be really happy with how much I've put into my technical game. I have at least improved mentally for sure in a couple of ways. The biggest thing is I haven't been as hard on myself for mistakes I make. The best result of this is I'm not as fearful of making them, which leads to me playing better/trusting myself/playing more consistently/putting more hours in. And of course, it's lead to less overall suffering and in much shorter bursts than a couple years ago.

It's been an interesting year results wise. I've won the most of any 6 month stretch in my life. But at the same time I can pinpoint numerous huge mistakes I've made that have cost me so much money on the year. There's been a few instances of just lighting money on fire that are unacceptable. It's the repeating of mental leaks in the moment that really get to me, especially when thinking about the significant amount of money it's cost me. But this is just the reality of being a high level poker pro that's self aware and honest enough with oneself. And to some degree there is no escaping it. But at the same time it's encouraging to see how much room there is for improvement and how bad almost everyone really is at this game in a myraid of their own ways. I've also for sure ran bad in large pots this year at the biggest stakes. I've lost the couple biggest pots I've played on the year as a big favorite with all the money in. One of them was just insane, and would blow online-only players minds how many bb's it was for. There's a chance that might be the most bb's I get it in for and for that good for a long time/maybe ever. But I've also ran good in sooo many ways so can't complain ( just kinda reviewing everything).

Jan 1 - June 30th online (excluding another 7kish hands on untracked site where I'm almost exactly even):


At this point I'm not gonna show my exact live results, but I'm up more than online.

Plans for rest of the year:

I'm gonna be studying much more than normal over the next month or two while the games are slower. I'm treating this time while the games are slower as kind of my off season, where I'm really trying to level up my game. For at least the next month I should be studying as much as actual playing. I'll also be playing less hours in general due to vacations and summer related things. I'm gonna be doing more geared towards online study and then start progressing towards more live related sims. Then I'll start shifting more towards playing again come September. I can already feel an upgrade coming as a result of the past couple weeks. I think I'll continue to get more efficient and relevant with my work, and I'm confident by the end of this month or next month sometime I will be a significantly better player as a result. The last time I had a big upgrade in my game like the one I believe is happening now or soon was in late 2016. So I'm excited and have really been enjoying the process, surprisingly. Then I want to grind my ass off the last few months of the year, putting in as many quality hours as I can without sacrificing too much balance. I'll also be more focusing on mental game and lifestyle aspects during last few months. I'm shooting for a total of 1500 hours played by the end.

Congrats on the superb start to the year. Hopefully variance improves and you can complete the year with another "6 month best"!

Subbed! Where do you play online?

Hey friend, I do have a question regarding your perspective on playing poker professionally and your happiness level, do you start get a dopamine rush/direct happiness out of playing this game, or has it become just an efficient means to scoop in some good monies?

I am curious on your intake as, as you know our longevity/stakes in the game are similar, so wanted compare your experience to mine and see if they are parallel.. GL bro

Where are you playing online?

Good luck, op!

As someone who’s considering the possibility of going pro, I want to ask how you pay for health insurance for you and your family? Aren’t the rates outrageous?

Do you file a schedule C for tax purposes? How do you go about making estimated tax payments throughout the year since poker income isn’t stable or consistent?


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Thanks! That would be amazing run good that would set me up great for the future. Not expecting it at all though.
Almost all volume on Ignition.
No, I don't get much happiness out of playing. It takes a really good play, or like a 400bb+ pot I win to get any adrenaline or dopamine rush going these days. I'd say I feel better or get a general satisfaction out my career when I'm working hard off and on the table and playing really focused/consistent. Leaving the casino after a $10k day does almost nothing for me on it's own. If I made a big mistake or two then I actually feel much worse than if I'd broken even but played really well.

It's also a good feeling when doing well to know I'm helping build a life/future for myself and family. Think that's why I really feel good every time I take a sizable chunk from my bankroll and invest it in the markets.
Mostly Ignition with a tiny bit of volume on a couple other sites.
Thanks!
Have a wife that's got a job with good health care and be on that ftw. Or get health care on own and pay the ridiculous premiums. At least you can write off the premiums when doing it that way to help bring the costs back down a bit. I've done both. Oh, and going with a high deductible plan and using health savings account is prob way to go when paying for your own health care.

Yes, I file a schedule C. I don't pay any estimated payments throughout the year. The penalty is small and think it's smarter to have that money throughout the year.

Any poker related updates?

Just to expand on the happiness thing a little further Dubnjoy, here are a few more of my thoughts that just popped up after typing that reply to you:
-overall life balance is the most important thing I believe to lasting long term as a pro in regards to being happy/satisfied/not wanting to gtfo of poker. So much of long term success in poker has very little to do with actual poker playing.
-I don't love playing poker, but I don't dislike it or dread playing or anything like that. So that's pretty awesome to be able to do something day in day out that I mostly somewhat look forward to before playing for the day. BTW, if I only had option of playing all my volume online or all live I think I would have to play less than 20 hours a week to not start dreading playing. For sure if I only played online, it's just too boring to me at this point.
-This life does cause me a ton of pain. I hate making mistakes/not playing up to my potential. I've improved at not being so hard on myself, which has really helped me overall less pain and actually playing better/more consistent in the last year or two, but there's just so many different ways to feel pain from this game. I look at almost everyone else in my life and realize how little acute pain they feel from their job compared to me.
^^^guess that's a good part about poker though, it has forced me to become better at life in general, and is a constant challenge in so many ways helping me to grow.
-keeping everything in perspective and realizing the grass isn't always greener and reminding myself how sweet my life is gives me a ton of gratitude towards this game
-but I'm also aware how many things have had to go right throughout my career to get to the point I'm at and how good I've run in life in general. Like crazy good life run. So it's still a terrible career choice for the VAST majority of people.

Thx for the extensive reply IntheNow and I pretty much agree/relate to everything you just said I also agree that the mix of online and live is much easier (I can play 50h/week when doing so) then strictly one or the other (I have a hard time at 30h/week) . And yeah, as a career, it is not so bad when put in perspective, but stressful as hell and I guess you don't become a pro for the happiness EV

Year Review

Online Results: I actually made $1,700 less overall online than it shows below because I lost $7500 on an untracked site, but also made 5800 one day that didn't get loaded into PT4 for some reason.



Stake Breakdown: Nice to run way better at your higher stake, this was complete opposite of 2017.



Live: I actually grossed $11k more than this, but spent way too much on food and alcohol in the casino this year.



-2018 overall gross: $331,474
-2018 net: Prob around $315k, don't want to figure it all out right now.
-2018 hours: 1361

So I obviously ran good in 2018 results wise, even though I lost a couple of my biggest pots live on the year by far. Half way through the year I was secretly hoping I'd be able to clear $300k net, so that feels good.

I fell just short of my total hours played goal. But I did study this year more than I ever have. I definitely significantly improved my technical game, and a couple small mental game things that coincide with the technical.

However, I just made too many mistakes in game than I should be (even while giving myself a break and knowing I'm not even close to perfect). I played way too many hours of my C+/B- game. I honestly had trouble trying that hard to be playing my best many times. I didn't focus on performance as much as I should have and it cost me a lot of money for sure.

While I'm happy with my overall hours between studying and playing, I was also too inefficient with my time. I could have wasted sooooo much less time, I could have studied more efficiently, and overall just managed my time better. Also, too much distracted behavior when with family.

Overall a great year though, and I'm not beating myself up for my many flaws. It has given me plenty of goals and things to improve on in 2019. I'm at kind of a weird spot in my career where I'm not really sure where to go from here. I'm established online and live in the biggest games that I can find regularly, and I need to decide how to keep growing. The only next step for me would be to start traveling a lot for bigger live games, which would have some potential pitfalls/payoffs and variance I'm not sure I want to deal with and go through. However, I don't want to completely stagnate and keep doing exactly what I've been doing for the last couple years for another 5+ years. That feels very uninspiring to me.

So, I've got a couple different ways my life can go over the next few years. I can stay on this same safe path I've been on the last couple years, which to be honest is a pretty damn good spot to be in. I can start traveling and playing in really big live games. Or I can start a transition away from 100% full time poker in a responsible (got family to support) and slow way that would possibly challenge and excite me and lead to a long term way of actually helping other people for a change. All of those 3 different macro options can have numerous little micro iterations within in them as well.
Who knows, I'm hoping the next 6 months will reveal the path for me?

Anyway, I'm gonna start a new blog in the next week that's more related to personal finance. I realized why I failed wrt updating this thing was that I felt pretty uninspired to write a pure journal about myself and poker. It kind of just felt like writing posts was wasting time and taking time away from doing other things I wanted. Personal finance has become kind of a passion for me over the past year. I'm hoping it will be fun to talk about, as well as a productive use of my time for numerous reasons. I'll still throw in some poker related things, and I've realized I'm just gonna be really open about results in both poker and anything related to money in my life. I plan on updating it every Tuesday and Thursday religiously and will re-evaluate in March or so.

GL in 2019 to anyone who actually read all this spew and made it to the end!

These are incredible results man, wpwp, look forward to future posts

smashed it OP - congrats

Incredible results, congrats bro

Congrats, following, gl!