Day 2: Up 100
Current Bankroll: 510

Day 3: Up 460
Current Bankroll: 1070

Day 4: I have a headache
Down 390
Current bank roll: 680
Started out the day losing with aq to a4 when a guy shoved to my 85% (25$) flop c-bet on a 842 flop and I called him hoping to hit an a or a q didn't know I only had 3 outs.
then my AJ runs in 97 on 1097 board and I get re raised on my c-bet again so I 4 bet shove with 2 overs a back door nut flush draw and inside straight draw. Turn gives villian full house.
Change tables pick up kings like second hand 3 bet pre from 10 to 35 dollars get a call from the original raiser and the one other caller.
flop q82 I cbet 30$
turn 2 I lead out 50 get reraised to 150 which is all in
I call buddy has a2 suited spiked a 5 outter on me
Then I have aq on a ak10 board im betting 75 is calling
runout :
turn 7
river 5
lose again.
Then bluff into a missed flush draw and get called by top pair with queen kicker lose another 2 stacks.
Then pick up AJo 3 bet pre to 35 get two callers
lead out to 50 on a j86 flop with backdoor nut flush draw.
get called by 109
turn 7 I lead out 100 get re raised all in to 150 an I call
lose to an 8 outter
Overall a mix of playing bad, running bad, and being on tilt combined with the fact that I left all my money in wallet and kept rebuying lead to this disaster of a day.
So I went home regrouped for 30 min changed venues and hit the night shift resolving to play perfect which I pretty much did and just got lucky that I was playing with the biggest action player in the city. He plays Omaha and high limit Baccarat and uses our chips for coasters!

He raises every single hand and I was two seats counter clockwise so I just 3 bet huge pre flop with strong hands and took down pots to grind my stack up like 150$

then one hand he raises to 30$ and I re raise all in 320$ with 52 of diamonds
He tanks and really wants to call and I ask him what he has and he says k5 suited
I'm like your completely and he reluctantly folds, then I show to the shock of all!
It could see it hit him hard then I wait like 50 hands watching the craziest action ever where hes stacking people with q8 straights and **** and getting stacked to 78 and then stacking again with q7. Up and down like a roller coaster anyways I 3-bet pocket jacks from 25 - 60 and he 4 bet all in 400 I had 325 total so I call and hit a flush on the river but he said I was good the whole way. so I made back 435 all from one guy who lost like 1000. He was the same player who went called my all in with k5 for 400 that I mentioned in an earlier post against my QQ and turned a 4 scooping an 800 pot. It took a week or so but we held this time.
Anyways the positives are the I held my resolve and didn't break down and lose even more money but clawed back.

day: 4 down 400
must completely transparent and report this awful loss.
playing bad, running bad, in a bad game full of good players.
taking 3 days off to go skiing in Golden and Revelstoke.
positives:
know what I did wrong.
focus: playing in good games and leaving if it they are bad

down 250
was up 380 then left and came back and started running horribly and playing even worse
its like taking 1 step forward and 2 steps backwards
repeating the same mistake over and over again.
But at least I'm trying to evolve, new goals and strategies are going to be
1. not trying to set monetary goals
2. leave when losing stay when winning so I won't rebuy more than twice if I'm running bad/ playing bad
3. Only play when the games are good and leave if no money or all regs

So from now on just going to document my sessions to keep track of BR
right now starting over at 0

Played 14 hours today made 260
way too long of a session but kept getting coolered so many times in 80%+ situations on turn it was annoying
There was this super loud guy Ive never seen with cane kept asking people to pay them to charge his phone and was taking 30 seconds to make every decision every time. He looked like such a character that I asked if I could take a pic to post on here. he said yes. I did and he freaked out for 5 min verbally abusing me while I did nothing and he just wouldn't let it go repeating never take a picture of someone with a gun tatooed on their arm. and seriously wouldn't stop berating me. I aplogized and deleted the pic.
then some fish sat and just had to wait em out to stack em with game plans custom tailored to each of them
funny moment I look over to see a commotion where I player keeps going
"check the cameras"
he was in the wrong though and got kicked out, instead of leaving like a man he layed on the floor till they carried him out like a child. I even took a pic.
he was heard yelling "careful I have a bad shoulder!" to which everyone sort of laughed.
overall I feel allright and glad I only have to play tomorrow and going to take 4 days off after to go skiing, read Chris Hadfield's autobiography and just enjoy life.

down 720 today current bank roll -480
donk called 200 kj vs aa pre
got hero called with 94 for 200 on ace high board triple barreling
donk bluffed 68 suited into 67 off suit on the river when the board paired buddy had a straight though for 120
those were the ones that I'm only OK with
these ones were more unfortunate so I am very happy about:
aq hearts vs 85 off suit
AJ109 turn two hearts blocking 2 outs and I jam turn buddy tank calls saying something about an expensive lesson and spikes queen. -200
Aspade5heart versus pocket deuces on 543 flop two spades
jam flop buddy calls
turn king of spades giving me flush draw and blocking 2 outs
river 6 not spade giving deuces straight -165
another hand was a cooler
64 suited vs 69 off suit
j78 flop 2 diamonds
turn 5 no diamond all in for -260 net result
I probably made some bad decisions and could have left earlier after losing but kept rebuying. Only sleeping 5 hours and feeling like I today was my last day to play before a 4 day break impacted my decision making skills. Not too upset and will be back focused and better than ever.

Quote: You never don't know what you can't achieve before you don't acheive it.

Wow took 3 months off but it felt like longer, was nice to get back and see everyone. Became a godfather, made new friend,s focused on my health more had a lot of fun. I think I've finally conquered the hardest lesson to learn which is game selection and leaving when you're losing/getting unlucky. Before I would be too stubborn to give up but now I feel less ego and more wiser. Having the self control to leave after one buy in has helped me avoid tilt completely and save money. so I played two sessions for about 6 hours and made 700. Going to start tracking wins/losses next post.

I'm reviving this blog, hooray!
Took a four year hiatus from poker. Never playing again was certainly a possibility. The no natural sunlight sitting on my leathery ass 30+ hours a week started to erode my happiness. There were instances were I became so bitter I would chirp innocents players for my perception of them playing bad. My acerbic mood was taking it's toll. But also the magic and skill and success I once had started slowly slipping away. the harsh reality was I was no longer profitable. Like any rational person suffering pain and loss I had to escape. It was time for a change. The mountains were calling and I had to go. Watched the movie Free Solo and that phenom Alex Honnold sold me hard on rock climbing. His nonchalant attitude towards high consequence free solo climbing resonated with me. I knew I had to replace all my time that I spent in a Casino with the great outdoors. and luckily for me living in Calgary, the majestic Rocky mountains are a stones throw away. So spent a lot of time Climbing becoming a strong intermediate, meeting lots of great people, creating countless wicked memories and experiences that I can fall back on during times of sorrow. I'm not very athletic or physically gifted and haven't had strong talents or been good at anything. But with games like Settlers of Catan, Chess, Poker and Crossword Puzzles. There seems to be a natural pull towards them with my introverted personality. I eradicated my worst habit of all which was lying. Went to therapy did self actualization work and made some good strides toward being who I want to be, but still have so much further to go. Also climbing's expensive because you can't work while doing it and my main source of income I lost so I had to get a job which has greatly diminished my free time to climb. And with climbing you get rewarded by doing it often and frequently so my skills and time have declined so as outlet for my passions poker just reappeared suddenly.
So that's a very brief recap of why I haven't posted anything poker related. Now I don't have a specific plan or idea of what this blog is going to center on. My goal is simply to play the best poker possible and share some insights into my play and everyone is free to correct my flawed thinking or provide input towards to blog of what you want to see.
Now onto the poker played 18 hours in last two days, made 860 day 1 playing 6 hours at Pure Casino, I usually play there now since larger player pool and more tables so the wait times aren't very long and there is decent action. Day 2 played 10 hours 4 at Pure lost 320 then went back to Cowboys and made 160 after a chance encounter with an old reg from there. on my way home from Pure. Because I realized my biggest and almost only leak was rebuying and being stubborn after losing. Every player losses but it's how you deal with those losses in the moment that matters most. For me and my personality I've decided that leaving when you can't win instead of trying to rebuy is best. So I did lose 1 buy in and decided ride my bike home, But on the way I stopped at highly rated restaurant called Tibet Kitchen Calgary. Where I met the owner Tenzing who served up delicious food with perfect chili hot sauce. He was very friendly and generous so I had to shout out his place and encourage anyone in Calgary to eat there. We had a lengthy conversation about and I completely reset my mind from losing the buy in prior. So I biked over to Cowboys to fire another bullet. I started playing poker about once every 2 weeks a year ago, Cowboys was my main spot up until then, but the player pool kept dwindling so there were long wait times and only one table many times combined with not much action meant I had to find a new place. I don't know if it is because its Stampede time fast approaching or what but the Room seems to be improving. There were 3 table at 5 pm on a Tuesday. So I got in without a long wait and found the action to be satisfactory. Mostly very very strong players playing at that time. I will definitely be going back there though as I liked the atmosphere and being Stampede ground adjacent The droves of tourists will likely boost the poker room patronage. So that my plan for next session. Go to Cowboys in about 2 days after resting and regaining my hunger and stamina. Cause 18 hours in 2 days completely drained me. 33 now and my body and mind can't recover or maintain like it used, it's been a slow but steady decline.
I'll briefly recap one hand where I won an 800-900$ pot at Pure on Canada Day.
basically it was me and a mother and son duo playing many hands with everyone else folding pre or scattering of others playing top hands.
anyways this mother button straddles 6$ in a 1/3 effective stacks 425
I raise 20 QJ hearts everyone folds but her and her son who is in small blind right beside her.
Flop 245 Hearts checked to me I lead 10. Basically choose a smaller sizing just from watching poker videos online which all say a rinky dinky sizing is appropriate. mother calls son raises 40 I flat. Turn off suit 8. son bets 80 I re-shove all in and close my eyes. My logic being that we want to get full value for our hand and target lower flushes. mother folds and then son goes into tank. I can hear them talking while my eyes are closed she askes him what he has he says straight she tells him I have a flush and too fold, he thinks for another minute and calls all in. he has a3 off with no heart so I am already good! Even though they blatantly violated the rules of no coaching or discussing hands with another person in the hand I could have given a **** less. I'm never one too call out anyone on anything violations and just try to create as friendly and fun atmosphere as possible. So that was my first post back if you made it this far hope you enjoyed reading it!

Played 8 hours today, very tired but eked out a 320 dollar profit after starting down 500 within an hour. Played at pure for like 30 min then went down to Cowboys Casino were there were only two tables when I got there but the room filled up completely by the time I left. Action was decent but countless good players interspersed with very little fish. Luckily I came prepared just about as well as anyone could be and certainly better than any time in my entire life and it paid off. Riding my book home alongside the placid Glenmore Reservoir was very calming and I'm quite content right. Same Strategy take off a few days to rebuild hunger and go back Monday.

I normally don't sports gamble or want to make this blog about it but...
The Price is right on Niko Price, This was actually the one fight when I was perusing all fights 2 weeks ago for a lock that stood out as a safe bet.
Gotta trust your intuition and not let over thinking change your perception. That split second decision Malcolm Gladwell talks about.

Had to take a risk with a 35% return and invest half my recent winnings on Niko Price. Huge MMA and Robbie Lawler being an till time fan favorite I believe the line is inflated towards him and there is no way he wins this fight 1 in 2.85715 times, More like 1 in 8 tops with his Punch Drunk Love slurring words speech. Sad to say cause I love him but MMA is not kind to old fighters. Lets Go!

**** that MMA bet loss hurt me and triggered a No Fap relapse after a really long streak. But I must not let my failures define me and dig to to recover with ferocity.
With that I can serenade y'all with a story of redemption. Session four lasted 7 hours and made 705 and that's after tipping very generously and buying someone a beer for creating a great atmosphere to play poker at the table. He said he was a professional player but I've never seen him before. But anyways cowboys is the place to be right now in Calgary tons of tables and action for Stampede! The poker concept that this post will touch on briefly is game selection, had I not been flexible and open to changing tables several times. I would have tried to grind blood out of stone against tough regs at the same table all night and barely turn a profit but by actively seeking greener pastures and correctly that a loud friendly table would be more conducive to make money I was able to make all my profits in the last hour before leaving.

My intuition told me to go back today on account of Stampede. Even I normally don't like overextending my stamina and playing frequently. It ended up working out as I made 660 in 3 hours playing 1/3 I had the opportunity to sit with some players I like an banter but I opted to switch tables aka game selection to find softer competition and boy did that pay off again.

This is hard to write but I lost 865. What's worse is I was up over 300 at one point so it was a 1200 downswing in the matter of hours. I thought I was doing everything right but today the game composition was heartier than any other day. Even though I was betting large geometric mathematically sound sizes good players were calling and hitting, so of the 1200 downswing 500 was a straight punt 500 was running bad and 200 was errors due to fatigue. I'm taking a week off to go climbing in Squamish that should completely revitalize. I've been studying like crazy and have a photographic memory I know I have what it takes to succeed, but for sure going on tilt and regulating my emotions is a challenge for me. One time when I was 3 my my tricycle with a sledge hammer because I was having fun riding it on the street laughing and not coming inside, the violence wasn't restricted to just inanimate objects. So definitely if people watch me start playing bad they might not understand but I have a hard time comforting myself sometimes. No one would ever know this by looking at me. Anyways I'm working on it with CBT, and DBT. My goal I've decided is to try to make 6k in 90 days playing and book a trip to Vegas to celebrate and experience Vegas for the first time. I'm going to count sports betting with the challenge because these games are really tough and I wanna try to be flexible in my approach, maybe I'll make a play tomorrow and post it. If not then Poker next weekend, Thanks for reading have a good weekend!

I'm gonna try something new and blog before and after session. So we gotta debrief after last session the after math of losing 2.1 buy in. Haven't done something so reckless since I decided to always leave when losing. But I couldn't let it go acted like a stubborn mule and paid the price. I placed a 1000 dollar bet on the Stampeders on Sports which is the state run Gambling Service. My pick was the proline meaning Stamps had to win by 4. I watched the whole game and it was a rollercoaster alternating between me being good on my bet and me losing. Oh yeah and also after my loss I stayed by the Lottery Kiosk for an hour researching MMA bets and settled on Marya Silva to upset Holly Holm. But then I did droves of research just standing there while hundreds of people walked by me like a time lapse video. And Ultimately talked myself out of making the bet. All the websites and forums were leaning Holm and I let that influence me and go against my first instinct. And I'm a big believe in going against your first instinct. So my second by goal besides going to Vegas is to always be honest and high integrity. And part of integrity is following through with what you promise to yourself. Because if you lie to yourself what are you worth? How much do you value anything? I somehow convinced myself to bet Stampeders cause to be honest I was chasing losses, which is a grave mistake, would not recommend. I could have taken them on the spread with an extra 1.5 points for 1.8-1 but I wanted to chasses losses on proline where it paid 2.2-1 just to try to get a little more value but I don't even know anything about CFL so you can see how distraught I was? Anyways I was up by 6 points with one minute to go in the game final down for Saskatchewan, they got sacked twice so its 3rd and long, they go for it hail mary, Stamps instead of knocking the ball down tip a short pass into the opposing teams hand and they score to be up by one . I freaking was devastated. I watched porn for 8 hours straight. Very embarrassed about this. Hopefully I'm not the only one who uses porn to cope? I felt like complete garbage after very sad very dejected. Cancelled my trip to Squamish. Completely rock bottom. Because I promised myself I would get rid of all my vices and I've been very disciplined for a long time. Porn is my last demon to conquer and I thought I had banished it oblivion. But when I broke that lie to myself it took at least 24 hours to recover. But since I also need to confess that I'm 33 and living at home with my parents, Never moved out before either. Feel pretty low about this.

With how lousy I was feeling I couldn't afford to continue going on depressed. I reached out to friends picked up meditating an hour a day. And distracted myself by studying a **** ton of chess. I reached my new all time high rating and regained some self respect. But I still have so so much more to do! Today I'm going study poker and bike down to the Casino. And research some MMA bets. Will update post session.

Magic 612 is a legend. Some still await his return today.

Everyone makes mistakes, it's how you handle yourself after making mistakes that counts.
So I played 6 sessions and made one big bet on the Cleveland Guardians 1k to beat Houston Astros.
Shouldn't have made that bet I didn't feel right but the effects of watching porn lowered my will to win and self control.
because the day before lost huge in poker 950 that tilted me off huge. and I hadn't yet developed the self control skills needed that I've worked tirelessly on in the last 35 days. everyday, consistently. This blog is gonna read more like a confessional right now. Writing my thoughts and failures down publicly is low key therapeutic. so that was 1950 torched in a two day span. For me that's a lot of money. And now my final secret that not many people know about me, I've shared everything else with you guys, The porn, the abuse as a child, the living with my parents, and now finally 27.5k in debt. Owning up to my problems like B rabbit in 8 mile. I can't believe I've gotten to this point. Never had any financial issues in my life. Until the last 3 years. Averaged 9k a year in debt which could be a lot worse. But I hate it and my first priority is to clear it. There's only one thing I hate more than debt that's hard labor. Somehow I've managed to not work and do well surviving off my wits the last decade. I respect people who sacrifice their time and bodies to put food on the table for their families. conscientious noble blue collar folks. But I believe I possess a genius level IQ. Which won't go far in construction. Anyways I want to avoid that but that's what I will have to do. Find some job in a Labor camp in Northern Alberta to quickly pay off debt and while adding to the climate debt of our civilization. Two Years it will take. The toll on my spirit and body incalculable.
So I had 6 sessions in the last 35 days. I don't like playing too often, I find it stressful and exhausting. I had a big win with Aces vs Kings and then gave it all back and then some with aj vs aq on an a105 board all in where I should have folded today. I've been doing things differently since that horrendous relapse last month. meditating most days at least an hour, waking up very early every day and reading more books and reaching out to more friends. I believe this is enough to completely change my life and trajectory. So I don't know if anyone can relate to what I'm saying but at the very least I hope I can show that if you struggle with addiction you can overcome it like I'm doing. Going on vacation with my friends who are great people in Squamish recently really rejuvenated my optimism that I have what it takes to overcome these problems. Basically I'm going to give myself 1 month to make 2k playing poker and betting and if not I'm going to ship out to labor camp. Everything is ever evolving but that's a hard line I'm taking. The prospect of being broke and uneducated a age 40 scares the **** of out of me now. That would be a terrible miserable life that I must avoid at all costs. I debated betting 500 on Sean O Malley today and talked myself out of it and of course he wins. that would have netted 800 profit. I at least made 600 on one bet at the beginning of this month and haven't made any since. Whatever happens, potentially ending this blog and giving up poker forever I will at least document it. Like an aging champion who just can't compete due to reaction time or power declining, you gotta know when to hang it up.

The fear of working up north propelled me to stay focused and hungry. Made 710 in 6 hours today to keep the dream faintly alive. My mindset the entire time was the play like a gto solver robot making ludicrous computerish plays and it all worked out luckily. We still have 3 weeks and change to make 1.3k.

Played poker today lost 320. Was very pissed because I went early in the morning and couldn't catch a freaking hand, when I did no one called, and two of my bluffs got called. I was up 200 at one point and left with nothing. It's confusing because I feel with all my studying, discipline and good habits should lead to more success, I will say one thing this whole journey has made a better person I think I've finally figured out how to eliminate tilt. I read the New Science of Breathing by James Nestor along with 4 other books in the last month which have changed me for the better such as David vs Goliath, but these breathing exercises I've been practicing intra-game have helped regulate my heart rate, breathing and though patterns, it's truly extraordinary. Along with tons of exercise, studying, meditation, stretching all things aimed at improved my holistic function because I know almost no one reading this or playing the game is doing them. I even started praying to God which I was an atheist before. It helped me to surrender to the fact I can't control everything. So I lost then I made a 3 team parlay on Mariners, Bluejays and Orioles to win by 1,5 runs each game cause sport select rules are limiting like that. Anyways it hit so I broke even on the day. I will go back tomorrow more focused. I also just watched The Card Counter and wow you must all watch it, it's poker scenes are really really good.

One more thing I witnessed today. Old man has King Queen diamonds folds for 1bb in late position because a dealer exposed a king. Run out is AdJdTdxx.

Very Tired after a 9 hour sessions, thats the longest session in over 5 years for sure, 33% sure I got bluffed so many times and folded super light but the run outs and people betting were very difficult to find calls. It felt like through sheer tyranny of will I eked out a 125 profit. was up a couple hundred at different points then went down a full 350 after I decided to 4 bet shove aj off vs a guy who was playing EVERY hand, but he had ak, then I rebought for the full amount, and the very second I sit down I pick up aces and ace king guy who played over 50% hands opens to 20 I 3 bet 70 and fake acting like a tough douche bag to induce a call he raises all in I call and he had kings, very lucky again, a big hand I lost was flopping top set on a monotone board and down betting the jacks villain older gentlemen reraises flop I shove believing in running well but his flush improves to a straight flush on the turn. and no quads for me on river. I don't know I feel good but also that it's gonna be very hard to win on command and my biggest takeaway from was the top set spot to take more time and maybe just call or also even fold, what do you think?

I read the last page and the first three pages of Mike Wolf's Blog today. It was very inspirational I'm going to study how to write better first of all, but also seeing his success lit a fire up under my ass. I made 255 in 4 hour session today. Kings vs Jacks, Aces vs KQ on a k high board. I punted away 100 BB's after opening 7x utg 2 callers late positions with pocket 10's. flop 762 rainbow, I bet 75% pot on flop 1 caller turn is 5, 2 diamonds on board. I go 67% pot get re raised all in but some cute Asian woman. I curse and can't believe but have to call based on a sublimation that she appeared nervous, and that there were hands she could be shoving with that were worse than mine (been wrong three times in a row on that line of reasoning) and felt like I had to call. she tables 98 and I get it all in drawing dead, rip. so we need to make 920 in the next two weeks to keep the dream alive, will go play the next 2 days and see what happens!

Sitting here dreaming of a better future. Got 2750 cash. Looking to travel and play poker. lost 800 today 50 for atm fee, 720 in morning game when i received a message unrelated to the game which exposed a new leak I had. I was under time pressure to leave facckk and punted away a10 vs kk ai pf. also tried bluffing aa on a j108q4 3 diamond board but I guess buddy had a read on me? grinded 10 hours after and barely broke even, definitely not going good for 2k, So wanna go an adventure and cash some tourneys, have some fun play some cash all around north america, Anyone know some good info on cheap places to stay or good card rooms, could be anywhere in North Anerica, will travel around and live in my car lol. Got two friends willing to join me for the adventure part already, poker not so much, hoping to meet up with some people off here!

up 500 today was playing my all time best poker. Torched 200 at the end of the session for no good reason. Got a fence contract too that will contribute to bank roll and paying off debts, things are looking up.