they dont know that

nice comback bro, enjoy your holiday !!

Have a few hundred posts to read here! Solid comeback

Have a sick time in Oz mate, v.jealous. Nice turnaround on the month too

Dat comeback! Wp, man!

Vaaaaaamoooo

Nice job man! Good to see you doing well. As someone with a ton of firsthand experience with professional help heh I can tell you good therapists are very few and far between, it’s pretty ridiculous actually.

the kid just juiced 10k in 10k hands mate, not the worst hourly

You going to be playing at crown in Melb?

Why do you need to defend him ? Are you his pet ?
I am not attacking him, he documented himself that he went through a rough stretch.
We all know as poker players how variance works, you can be a great player (like I guess he is) but get rekt for 100k hands+ and just win scraps.
People who are not familiar with this will tend to be result oriented and afraid, it will always be harder to reassure them when you don't have the receipts.
That being said I am sure he already explained it well to his gf so there shouldn't be any problems.
But don't come at me with how he performed on 10 ****ing thousands hands like it's supposed to mean something.

Wheee, nice rostucko!
Enjoy australia

I hope you compensate for that long flights. Guys like you jetting around arent great in rgds to climate change...

such a dick. psychorapist, yet didnt lend a hand when fellow grinder was fighting depression and actually contemplating suicide.
I am super happy that you' d be working with select few altho believe awareness should be raised that more than enough grinders get mentally destroyed and maybe focus on educating on macro, rather than micro level

with all the suicides that happened lately, there's probably hundreds that are on the ledge. they might not pay like the guys that get their edge increased by you, but put a price on a life....

to be clear: i came out of it by luck, so no hard feelings. it constructive criticism. that maybe u have the tools to drive change and i challenge u to do it. happy to help and voice my story if needed

kidding me, i'm buffed. biga is biga big

polish 19/15 fullring lrgend mostly to agressiv overall but true legend.

Did you though?
Ummm, I don't think you have a 1st grader's understanding of constructive criticism.

There are some dedicated trolls on this site, and I'm not familiar with your background Bigac, but you come off as a genuinely mentally unwell and hateful individual.

I do truly hope that you get help, because clearly you need it, and are by no means out of the psychosis that is ailing you. I do think that you getting this help is unlikely if you carry resentment towards individuals who have dedictated their time towards helping others in the Medical field.

So in your eyes, all Healthcare practitoners are greedy egotists because they garner pay for their work?

I might not have articulated to well my point, but to answer you:

do all healthcare professionals are greedy.... - No, certainly not. Some of them certainly are. I wasn't suggesting that toward Ben as I respect him for being able to do what he does next to a full poker schedule, so before being certain of something I wouldn't state such a thing.

Constructive criticism - yes, as the way I see it he has qualifications and everything that is needed to be able to lead change for the whole community if you want to call it that and will be not only heared but listened to. If he choses such. If he doesn't no blame can go his way obviously.

I am trying to make a point that if he really wants to help, there is a lot of it needed and I believe could be a lot more effective on macro level with poker players. Someone has to start the conversation, so that people open up about their fears, depression, whateverelse they might encounter and not bottle it up thinking it's just them. Often the craziest thing can seem logical and absolutely destroy you from within with no real control over it, without help.
I feel like that this conversation can be started by individuals at the top of the foodchain, the poker celebrities, the news sites or a psychotherapist with a poker background, as they are the ones that would get enough "air time" if you want to call it that, to reach the masses and stay there for long enough to have a lasting effect.

This would bring more clients than less to Ben if anything, so re your original statement not sure how I am trying to hurt his bottom-line.

I actually fully believe Ben is looking to help people and not just chosing a profession that will pay well, this is why i got the nerve to write my original post.

And yes, you don't know my background so probably should not make statements like that about me or anyone else for that matter as that might be something that pushes one over the ledge.
At this point i don't consider myself mentally unwell anymore, but thank you for your professional and educated opinion.

The past is in the past, I am trying to motivate Ben to try and do great and hopefully help a lot more people by saving lives. I think i went through enough to be able to certainly say that poker has a very negative effect on some people, and if I could reach rock bottom, while actually crushing most everything, then it can certainly be a burden for others that don't


if nothing else, at least I started a conversation, that I'm hoping will be had at a high standard

lmao ty for the gl's

Gambling still gambling. Can have 1 bill in the bank and they'll still ask, 'but how much did you lose?'

haha +1



Cheers brother, let's get a dinner/drinks with the boys again soon

gl with that mate!

bzzt, ty mike. You've done more than your fair share of travelling though... save some for the rest of us ty

vamos! <3

You speak a LOT of truth, unfortunately. The issue is that the therapy world is poorly regulated which results in garbage, second rate training, which leads to a lot of therapist doing more harm than good. I am of course biased, but my training was some of the most rigorous/challenging out there. Hopefully me and my peers will be some of the good ones

Will save them and purge the 300k beforehand

I ended up playing a couple sessions, yes!

Tend to agree with all the above. I have noticed a trend more recently, where players are talking about losing/downswings with a lot more honesty. Probably because they're as unavoidable as they have ever been before. I think I managed to explain it pretty well to her parents and family

ty brother! chin up your end too

jetlag adjustment was tough. Winter clothes to summer clothes was even more of an adjustment tho

Thanks for the posts bigac. I wasn't aware you were in such an awful space as we didn't speak on a personal level back in the day (just over the forums). And I know you're thinking about the greater good here.

RE the bolded bit - i strongly agree here. While there seems to be more people coming out with mental health issues (likely not due to more issues, rather an environment where it will be accepted and not scorned), there doesn't really seem to be someone who fully understands the industry through the lens of a poker player instead of that of pathology and addiction. I hope I can contribute something to this.

I'll likely take you up on your offer in hearing your story, thank you.

Yo!

So I'm back from my Australia trip and it was an absolute blast. After sitting on a plane for 24 hours and being jetlagged to ****, I was pretty much insta thrown into my gf's Dad's 70th birthday celebration. Try introducing yourself to 20 guests, all of which are eager/speculative as to who this foreign, gambling, non-christian rando guy is It actually went very well and over the next 3 weeks we all got to know each other (particularly her parents) pretty well. Fortunately, their fears of me leading their daughter astray relaxed. To the point at which her Dad is now sending me constant whatsapp messages and trying to add me to their family fb chat group haha

We did a load of fun stuff including Australia zoo (RIP Steve Irwin [you can't imagine how much he's loved out there, he's basically a God]), took a road trip down the Gold Coast, visited Sydney and then Melbourne. Got to hang out with some old grinder mates - shout out to Tonnamunz and Birdayy. Played a couple live sessions and booked a modest $14 win Had insane amount of incredible food and coffee too. Also watched an AFL game which was quite an experience. Overall it was just the best time and I highly recommend anyone to visit. Oh and of course, it's almost winter there but it was still 25 degrees every day in Brisbane... kinda sick.

Here are a few pics. I didn't take anywhere near as many as I thought I would

Mandatory Koala



The lighthouse in Byron Bay +view





View of Sydney from Mrs McQuarie's chair



Kangaroo selfie like a proper tourist



As for poker, I didn't play any. And that was probably the best thing about the entire trip It has, however, allowed me to take an important step back as to what I want to do with my life over the coming weeks, months and years. With that in mind, I have begun putting together two websites. The first of which will be for my private practice seeing clients in London. The second which is more relevant, will offer two services; psychotherapy and/or mental game coaching for poker players. This is SUPER exciting for me and I hope to have a template finished by the end of June. I'm going to be setting time aside every day to work on the websites/my mental game package.

On that note, one more thing - what kind of content do people wanna see in here? I feel as though my blog has stagnated and is in need of new material. I have considered ending the blog, but that feels somewhat premature as I think there is a great deal more that can be done with it. So if anyone has any recommendations then please shoot. It could be articles related to mental health or I could do some write ups linking psychotherapeutic methods to the poker community. Alternatively, people could post some of their own experiences with mental health with links to poker and I can respond with some advice/my thoughts and feelings on the matter. These are some general thoughts, so please hit me up.

The plan is to pretty much be in lock down poker/moving life forward over the next two months, before heading to barcelona in late August.

It's good to be back! glgl

Don't end the blog, it's really entertaining and (I think) most people like following your journey.

Is your mental game coaching only IRL?

Just post more winning graphs pls M8, still going for the diamond club?

Crikey, what a cute koala

Also going to be in Barcelona during that time, maybe can cya there
You flicking in some tourneys?

Good to here things are going well mate.

Defo due a catchup soon. I might be heading Barca for EPT too!




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You didn’t ride a kangaroo down the street? You havnt lived then mate

I have noticed you mentioned several times in your writings when you don’t play poker you relish the time off. Perhaps this is telling you something and poker is simply a means to an end now. The future holds bigger and better things imo

Glgl


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Thoughts on the long term mental health implications of making 100s of micro-decisions a minute for hours a day every day? It’s something I’ve been giving a lot of thought to lately with some health scares, so interested to hear the opinion of an expert.

Glad to hear you enjoyed Aus mate. Super jealous of Barca, but I don’t think I’ll manage this year due to having a couple of stag doos over that period.

Personally I already see the consequences and I don't know If I am the only one in this case.
It might not be linked exclusively to the intense practice of poker but it certainly has some kind of role.
Basically, I have a hard time focusing over a long period of time. When I read or watch a movie, I need to stop every few minutes to check if I have messages/notifications/browse something related to what I read etc... Or I just start thinking about something completely different.
I don't know if people relate to this or if you noticed any significant signs.