Mastering Mental Game and Mental Health
10-29-2018
, 12:18 PM
Flaunting wealth and "life freedom" is just silly. I think in general though it's difficult to not come off as aloof or something like that when telling people about poker. It does dominate the conversation with new people at first because most are naturally intrigued.
I usually emphasize how it's not as cool as you would think and say how it becomes way more like a job after a while. I've never had anyone come out and say "how much do you make in a year?" or such questions. All my close friends never ask those types of things.
Off topic but I have a question for pros in long term relationships - how much info on
1. day to day
2. month to month
3. year to year
winnings do you share with your partner?
I've been with my wife and also playing full time for nearly 10 years and we have almost never had discussions involving £££ amounts. I sometimes tell her I've had a bad/good day or extended good/bad spell but nothing more than that. Wondering if this is weird or normal?
I usually emphasize how it's not as cool as you would think and say how it becomes way more like a job after a while. I've never had anyone come out and say "how much do you make in a year?" or such questions. All my close friends never ask those types of things.
Off topic but I have a question for pros in long term relationships - how much info on
1. day to day
2. month to month
3. year to year
winnings do you share with your partner?
I've been with my wife and also playing full time for nearly 10 years and we have almost never had discussions involving £££ amounts. I sometimes tell her I've had a bad/good day or extended good/bad spell but nothing more than that. Wondering if this is weird or normal?
10-29-2018
, 12:51 PM
10-29-2018
, 04:02 PM
Quote:
Flaunting wealth and "life freedom" is just silly. I think in general though it's difficult to not come off as aloof or something like that when telling people about poker. It does dominate the conversation with new people at first because most are naturally intrigued.
I usually emphasize how it's not as cool as you would think and say how it becomes way more like a job after a while. I've never had anyone come out and say "how much do you make in a year?" or such questions. All my close friends never ask those types of things.
Off topic but I have a question for pros in long term relationships - how much info on
1. day to day
2. month to month
3. year to year
winnings do you share with your partner?
I've been with my wife and also playing full time for nearly 10 years and we have almost never had discussions involving £££ amounts. I sometimes tell her I've had a bad/good day or extended good/bad spell but nothing more than that. Wondering if this is weird or normal?
I usually emphasize how it's not as cool as you would think and say how it becomes way more like a job after a while. I've never had anyone come out and say "how much do you make in a year?" or such questions. All my close friends never ask those types of things.
Off topic but I have a question for pros in long term relationships - how much info on
1. day to day
2. month to month
3. year to year
winnings do you share with your partner?
I've been with my wife and also playing full time for nearly 10 years and we have almost never had discussions involving £££ amounts. I sometimes tell her I've had a bad/good day or extended good/bad spell but nothing more than that. Wondering if this is weird or normal?
Was with my ex for almost 2 years and she didn’t know til 1 year in, I really see no point unless your finances directly affect your joint quality of life at which point things are quite serious.
My experience of people asking me comes not from my friends but if I meet someone new be it on a date or a stag party or something. I just find it laughable as it wouldn’t happen if someone said they were a lawyer or whatever.
Think the idea of the UK poker crew flaunting and being arrogant is off but I could be biased. How I’m perceived I can’t talk of but Ben is joke humble and literally never talks about how much he’s made. Stevie and Ben have played football with some of my mates from school and after a year of knowing my mates they asked me which of us had made the most money and I asked them to guess and they guessed Stevie had made 3rd most which reflects his modesty too. Obv those are just two examples but they are the two guys from the thread I know best.
Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
10-29-2018
, 05:19 PM
Quote:
Flaunting wealth and "life freedom" is just silly. I think in general though it's difficult to not come off as aloof or something like that when telling people about poker. It does dominate the conversation with new people at first because most are naturally intrigued.
I usually emphasize how it's not as cool as you would think and say how it becomes way more like a job after a while. I've never had anyone come out and say "how much do you make in a year?" or such questions. All my close friends never ask those types of things.
Off topic but I have a question for pros in long term relationships - how much info on
1. day to day
2. month to month
3. year to year
winnings do you share with your partner?
I've been with my wife and also playing full time for nearly 10 years and we have almost never had discussions involving £££ amounts. I sometimes tell her I've had a bad/good day or extended good/bad spell but nothing more than that. Wondering if this is weird or normal?
I usually emphasize how it's not as cool as you would think and say how it becomes way more like a job after a while. I've never had anyone come out and say "how much do you make in a year?" or such questions. All my close friends never ask those types of things.
Off topic but I have a question for pros in long term relationships - how much info on
1. day to day
2. month to month
3. year to year
winnings do you share with your partner?
I've been with my wife and also playing full time for nearly 10 years and we have almost never had discussions involving £££ amounts. I sometimes tell her I've had a bad/good day or extended good/bad spell but nothing more than that. Wondering if this is weird or normal?
1. I very rarely talk about the day to day with her. Sometimes if I have an especially annoying session she will see I'm a little frustrated but I've always been pretty good about not letting poker results affect my attitude.
2. I don't really go out of my way to break things down each month for her but she has access to my spreadsheet I keep and I might sometimes mention stuff in passing.
3. She def knows how things are going on a year to year basis for sure. And I talk to her from time to time about the current state of online poker and stuff like that as well.
10-29-2018
, 05:38 PM
Quote:
^ My reaction to anyone telling me they are a poker player is basically 'of course you are mate'.
Higher chance that guy won the big 11 and invested it in litecoin last year or something than he's actually a professional poker player, especially if he thinks he's a sports bettor too.
Higher chance that guy won the big 11 and invested it in litecoin last year or something than he's actually a professional poker player, especially if he thinks he's a sports bettor too.
Quote:
Bena going for the vamo! Forgot to talk about the economic/first class discussion
Really cool to see some reasonable people in the poker world, like bena, you're really open-minded and think.about society.
But I think that the poker professionals in the future will look way more like bena, humble and understanding than those boys that want to look like ballers. The harder the game becomes, less room will have for arrogant people.
Really cool to see some reasonable people in the poker world, like bena, you're really open-minded and think.about society.
But I think that the poker professionals in the future will look way more like bena, humble and understanding than those boys that want to look like ballers. The harder the game becomes, less room will have for arrogant people.
cheers lad <3
Thanks boston! Loving it so far
haha, gtfo. Am i seeing you in a couple weeks?
Quote:
Openmindedness is a fake concept, people are judgemental cause that's how our mind works. Saying that "I'm openminded is just stating out that I'm a nice guy I won't judge you" - what if you come and poop in my sofa am I going to be openminded anymore ?
What comes to ability to grow it is aswell making a judgement by itself on by starting to measure growth.
Don't think people change so much. One can get wiser as getting elder or improve at something and start to see things a bit differently but I think most who seek hard for growth and change are trapping themselves to goal oriented thinking and don't really get far.
Before there is a space between body and mind there will be suffering and to create that space need to meditate and understand spirituality (life (happiness) natural well-being without a reasoning behind it, and aswell accept mortality and before that happens people will be on the level of talking about self growth and self development without really finding a proper consistency of what they truely are
This probably has very little to do with Benas blog but it's just my thoughts related to Dr.s post
What comes to ability to grow it is aswell making a judgement by itself on by starting to measure growth.
Don't think people change so much. One can get wiser as getting elder or improve at something and start to see things a bit differently but I think most who seek hard for growth and change are trapping themselves to goal oriented thinking and don't really get far.
Before there is a space between body and mind there will be suffering and to create that space need to meditate and understand spirituality (life (happiness) natural well-being without a reasoning behind it, and aswell accept mortality and before that happens people will be on the level of talking about self growth and self development without really finding a proper consistency of what they truely are
This probably has very little to do with Benas blog but it's just my thoughts related to Dr.s post
Open mindedness has nothing to do with "being a nice guy". It is to do with the rigidity in ones values/beliefs and how willing and open they are to a changing or developing these values/beliefs. (Which as aforementioned, poker players for the most part are NOT open minded)
The very nature of what you are saying with regard to "trapping themselves in goal oriented thinking" is the complete opposite result for someone who is striving to be open minded. It seems that we just have completely different definitions of this term which is likely why our perceptions are vastly different.
That said, i agree with the last paragraph regarding meditation and spirituality, but this seems to pretty strongly disagree with your original statement. I'm a little confused to be honest. Care to elaborate some more?
Quote:
I don't think you necessarily need the hostel for the ultimate experience lol. However, I do think you need the nice pad if you ought to respect your poker. At the end of the day, it seems that you're trying to do both; to play poker in a foreign country while visiting and hanging out w locals/travelers and discovering the culture.
What I'm saying is that if the goal was to completely immerse yourself in the Mexican culture, stay in hostels, visit stuff and actively meet up w new people, learn Spanish and w/e activities backpackers do abroad, I would suggest just not bringing any electronics and disconnect completely from poker. In that way, you are completely free from anything. You have nothing of value on you and you don't feel bad for not "working" since you've already decided from the get go that these next few weeks will be poker free. I think that really is the best way to experience travelling sometimes; it's like a completely different world.
Otoh, going abroad w the mindset that you'll be playing and studying poker regularly, I do think having your own place is WAY better than staying in hostels. You can still meet up w plenty of people from the hostels (the open-minded people) by doing the City Tours or hanging out at night in the cheap bars or go one day to the underground cenotes where all the backpackers eventually go. But at least, you do have a place to grind/work/study everyday w decent internet (every time I was in hostels, internet was mediocre at best, mby runbad). I mean, your work is to be treated w the respect it deserves. When you are grinding 4x500z, you always have 2k+ in play lol. This is serious money in like 90% of the world. This goes w/o mentioning that you sleep better in your own room w a decent bed making you more rested.
Yeah, I guess it comes down to what type of trip you decide it will be before even leaving and then, taking a decision about poker/laptop.
Glgl
What I'm saying is that if the goal was to completely immerse yourself in the Mexican culture, stay in hostels, visit stuff and actively meet up w new people, learn Spanish and w/e activities backpackers do abroad, I would suggest just not bringing any electronics and disconnect completely from poker. In that way, you are completely free from anything. You have nothing of value on you and you don't feel bad for not "working" since you've already decided from the get go that these next few weeks will be poker free. I think that really is the best way to experience travelling sometimes; it's like a completely different world.
Otoh, going abroad w the mindset that you'll be playing and studying poker regularly, I do think having your own place is WAY better than staying in hostels. You can still meet up w plenty of people from the hostels (the open-minded people) by doing the City Tours or hanging out at night in the cheap bars or go one day to the underground cenotes where all the backpackers eventually go. But at least, you do have a place to grind/work/study everyday w decent internet (every time I was in hostels, internet was mediocre at best, mby runbad). I mean, your work is to be treated w the respect it deserves. When you are grinding 4x500z, you always have 2k+ in play lol. This is serious money in like 90% of the world. This goes w/o mentioning that you sleep better in your own room w a decent bed making you more rested.
Yeah, I guess it comes down to what type of trip you decide it will be before even leaving and then, taking a decision about poker/laptop.
Glgl
My main qualm was around the condescending nature of some posts by different people with regard to travellers. Which was reinforced by the guy i met the other night. Sorry if it seemed like i was just saying it to you.
While i do hear what you're saying, I don't understand why it needs to be so black and white, right or wrong, all or nothing. What would not taking my laptop away with me and studying occasionally really achieve? My experience can be both that of immersing myself in the culture, but also to remove myself and simultaneously focus on other aspects of my life that are important to me, such as poker.
I do actually take your point on treating my poker with the respect that it deserves. Like i have played 2 micro sessions the entire time i've been away. That said, i have felt focused in both of them. I've also found a couple of occasions to study PIO too. If i do choose to put in some actual volume, i will make sure that my surroundings are adequate.
gl mate
you have literally never left the comfort of your own home in your entire life.
Quote:
Good post Ben. Really liked the not telling anyone your job idea, interesting experiment. I personally find it uncomfortable telling some (not all) people what I do as inevitably people a high % of the time somehow think there’s a green light to ask what you earn and I don’t like people knowing that before they know me. Even my best mates don’t know how much $ I have made during my career, I don’t want that to be a reason for people to want to hang out with me.
So did people ask what you did and if so what did you say?
So did people ask what you did and if so what did you say?
Quote:
Some people might recoil in horror at the thought of staying in hostels or hanging about with backpackers, and that's fine if they have different ideas on what they'd spend their money on. I just find it a bit weird when they try and impose their own biases/tastes on you. It's your money and your life. You should obviously spend your holidays doing whatever you enjoy. It seems you're having a good time out there.
Got any more cool photos?
Got any more cool photos?
Quote:
Isn’t the whole UK poker crew shtick basically to flaunt cash (bottle service, VIP areas, frankly ridiculous thrice wins/losses, etc) while also being as arrogant and condescending as possible to the poker reg community at large? Don’t take this the wrong way, as I do find it very very entertaining. The beef with the guy in the hostel just seems a little bit pot/kettle is all. Perhaps I’m reading this the wrong way, and if so feel free to ignore.
Should also clarify:
/not the UK guy from the hostel
Should also clarify:
/not the UK guy from the hostel
What i can take responsibility for is my own actions, and i don't feel like I flaunt my lifestyle or whatever. Bar putting up some pictures in here about things i've done on poker trips or post my results when i'm doing well etc. This is a poker blog afterall...
With regard to the guy in the hostel, I definitely don't feel that I convey the same image that he was to non poker players. But then again it's hard to say as no one has ever critically shared with me how I act when those kind of questions come up... So maybe i do haha.
I dunno man, it's all pretty complicated the more i think about it. But those are some of my thoughts.
Quote:
Flaunting wealth and "life freedom" is just silly. I think in general though it's difficult to not come off as aloof or something like that when telling people about poker. It does dominate the conversation with new people at first because most are naturally intrigued.
I usually emphasize how it's not as cool as you would think and say how it becomes way more like a job after a while. I've never had anyone come out and say "how much do you make in a year?" or such questions. All my close friends never ask those types of things.
Off topic but I have a question for pros in long term relationships - how much info on
1. day to day
2. month to month
3. year to year
winnings do you share with your partner?
I've been with my wife and also playing full time for nearly 10 years and we have almost never had discussions involving £££ amounts. I sometimes tell her I've had a bad/good day or extended good/bad spell but nothing more than that. Wondering if this is weird or normal?
I usually emphasize how it's not as cool as you would think and say how it becomes way more like a job after a while. I've never had anyone come out and say "how much do you make in a year?" or such questions. All my close friends never ask those types of things.
Off topic but I have a question for pros in long term relationships - how much info on
1. day to day
2. month to month
3. year to year
winnings do you share with your partner?
I've been with my wife and also playing full time for nearly 10 years and we have almost never had discussions involving £££ amounts. I sometimes tell her I've had a bad/good day or extended good/bad spell but nothing more than that. Wondering if this is weird or normal?
Quote:
Been with gf for 7 years
1 - only v good or v bad days
2,3 - always share
I used to be pretty quiet about my earnings to her but I realised it's not really a big deal if you intend to stay together
Edit: I would've taken the same stance as you Ben and not said I play poker and ask him increasingly difficult questions about the game to see how much he blags lul
1 - only v good or v bad days
2,3 - always share
I used to be pretty quiet about my earnings to her but I realised it's not really a big deal if you intend to stay together
Edit: I would've taken the same stance as you Ben and not said I play poker and ask him increasingly difficult questions about the game to see how much he blags lul
Quote:
I get asked how much I make a lot actually. I trusted a very reserved and close friend with a $ amount one of the first good months I had back in 2012 or whenever.
To this day I can't visit a bar in my home town without that friend of a friend of a friend saying "oh, you're that poker baller aren't you".
Never tell anyone. It turns grown men into pre-teen girls.
To this day I can't visit a bar in my home town without that friend of a friend of a friend saying "oh, you're that poker baller aren't you".
Never tell anyone. It turns grown men into pre-teen girls.
I was with my ex-partner from before I started playing poker professionally, so when i did, it was just natural to share my results whenever really.
I think it boils down to not only how much do they want to know?, but how much do you want to tell them? I think that the second part seems to get lost because there is an assumption from the non-poker player in the relationship to kinda decided that they do or don't wanna know. I guess when you're in a relatively casual relationship, there may be no reason for them to know, but when it comes to family, houses, bills together etc, i imagine it becomes more relevant. Probably just best to have a conversation so everyone knows where they stand.
ffs
lmao, he has a way with words our stevie
Quote:
Was with my ex for almost 2 years and she didn’t know til 1 year in, I really see no point unless your finances directly affect your joint quality of life at which point things are quite serious.
My experience of people asking me comes not from my friends but if I meet someone new be it on a date or a stag party or something. I just find it laughable as it wouldn’t happen if someone said they were a lawyer or whatever.
Think the idea of the UK poker crew flaunting and being arrogant is off but I could be biased. How I’m perceived I can’t talk of but Ben is joke humble and literally never talks about how much he’s made. Stevie and Ben have played football with some of my mates from school and after a year of knowing my mates they asked me which of us had made the most money and I asked them to guess and they guessed Stevie had made 3rd most which reflects his modesty too. Obv those are just two examples but they are the two guys from the thread I know best.
My experience of people asking me comes not from my friends but if I meet someone new be it on a date or a stag party or something. I just find it laughable as it wouldn’t happen if someone said they were a lawyer or whatever.
Think the idea of the UK poker crew flaunting and being arrogant is off but I could be biased. How I’m perceived I can’t talk of but Ben is joke humble and literally never talks about how much he’s made. Stevie and Ben have played football with some of my mates from school and after a year of knowing my mates they asked me which of us had made the most money and I asked them to guess and they guessed Stevie had made 3rd most which reflects his modesty too. Obv those are just two examples but they are the two guys from the thread I know best.
looool, nasa employees <3
10-29-2018
, 06:37 PM
Puerto Escondido, La Punta
I've been in Mexico for exactly two weeks tomorrow! The first week went super slowly, but this one has flown by.
I finished up in Oaxaca City, and instead of the gruelling and sick-making 12 hour bus journey through the mountains, I decided to take a 35 minute flight. For those of you who saw my instagram story, I got to the airport, checked in, walked out onto the runway and saw this pretty sexy jet. I was like, ah sick, result! As i walked towards the plane, this tiny death ship emerged I'm not an overly confident flyer either, so it was a bit of a shock to the system. The plane only had 10 seats but everyone, seemed super chill so i just got on with it.
The flight over the mountains was absolutely stunning. Mountains surrounding us as far as the eye could see. It was pretty bumpy but i managed to get a couple good photos.
My ride & view
Upon landing, the temperature difference was huge. Oaxaca city is at a relatively high altitude, and due to the end of the rainy season I had been wearing jeans every day. However, getting off the plane i was slapped in the face by 33 degree heat.
Puerto Escondido is a relatively big town/tiny city with a population of 45,000. The group of friends I had made were still in the mountains taking mushrooms, but we had all decided to get an airbnb together because it was two of their birthdays. We were staying in a small surf town, La Punta - a 30 minute drive from the city. I can only describe the vibe there as exactly what you I would imagine a surfer town to be. Beach shacks, cool cafes on dusty streets, everyone knows each other, volleyball every night, constant social gatherings. It's pretty much the perfect place to live (if the internet was better...)
The strip & one of the bars
Really enjoying taking photos with the camera/editing them on lightroom and learning some cool photo techniques! If anyone has any tips for me, then please shoot them over.
Sleepy cats
My favourite pic I've taken so far. Volleyball on the beach while the sun is setting
Tried my hand at cooking a couple mexican meals too!
The first dish is called Chilaquiles. The salsa rojo (the red sauce) is made with so many fresh ingredients including 2 types of chilli - i have the recipe written down to make when i head back to the UK. If anyone wants it lemme know and i'll put it in here!
The sauce on the this dish is a Mole from Puebla - a traditional Mexican sauce made from a variety of spices herbs, cocoa and a bunch of other stuff. Every mole tastes different depending on the region it has been made (chillies taste different everywhere you go). This one was super rich and quite sweet to go with some vegetarian enchiladas and of course, home made guacamole. The avoaodoes here are next fkn level.
So i hung out at this apartment with the 3 Austrians and a couple of other guys we had picked up along the way in Oaxaca - a guy from NZ and one from Switzerland. Playing cards, swimming in the pool, sunbathing. It was a great change of scene from the wet Oaxaca, however, it did lack the "authentic" Mexican experience that I was beginning to grow accustom to. Namely street food!
That pretty much sums things up since my last update. I've done a couple more days in an even small surf town a couple hours along the coast called Mazunte which was absolutely incredible, but pictures/experiences run pretty similar in all these locations.
I have three more nights in this part of Mexico before meeting Stevie in Guatemala on the 1st of November and celebrating my birthday on the 3rd. The next travel update (not sure about poker) will probably be in about 1.5 weeks. Hopefully I survive a two day volcano hike and safely leaving Guatemala City with a flight landing at midnight
Hope the grind is treating everyone well!
I've been in Mexico for exactly two weeks tomorrow! The first week went super slowly, but this one has flown by.
I finished up in Oaxaca City, and instead of the gruelling and sick-making 12 hour bus journey through the mountains, I decided to take a 35 minute flight. For those of you who saw my instagram story, I got to the airport, checked in, walked out onto the runway and saw this pretty sexy jet. I was like, ah sick, result! As i walked towards the plane, this tiny death ship emerged
I'm not an overly confident flyer either, so it was a bit of a shock to the system. The plane only had 10 seats but everyone, seemed super chill so i just got on with it. The flight over the mountains was absolutely stunning. Mountains surrounding us as far as the eye could see. It was pretty bumpy but i managed to get a couple good photos.
My ride & view
Upon landing, the temperature difference was huge. Oaxaca city is at a relatively high altitude, and due to the end of the rainy season I had been wearing jeans every day. However, getting off the plane i was slapped in the face by 33 degree heat.
Puerto Escondido is a relatively big town/tiny city with a population of 45,000. The group of friends I had made were still in the mountains taking mushrooms, but we had all decided to get an airbnb together because it was two of their birthdays. We were staying in a small surf town, La Punta - a 30 minute drive from the city. I can only describe the vibe there as exactly what you I would imagine a surfer town to be. Beach shacks, cool cafes on dusty streets, everyone knows each other, volleyball every night, constant social gatherings. It's pretty much the perfect place to live (if the internet was better...)
The strip & one of the bars
Really enjoying taking photos with the camera/editing them on lightroom and learning some cool photo techniques! If anyone has any tips for me, then please shoot them over.
Sleepy cats
My favourite pic I've taken so far. Volleyball on the beach while the sun is setting
Tried my hand at cooking a couple mexican meals too!
The first dish is called Chilaquiles. The salsa rojo (the red sauce) is made with so many fresh ingredients including 2 types of chilli - i have the recipe written down to make when i head back to the UK. If anyone wants it lemme know and i'll put it in here!
The sauce on the this dish is a Mole from Puebla - a traditional Mexican sauce made from a variety of spices herbs, cocoa and a bunch of other stuff. Every mole tastes different depending on the region it has been made (chillies taste different everywhere you go). This one was super rich and quite sweet to go with some vegetarian enchiladas and of course, home made guacamole. The avoaodoes here are next fkn level.
So i hung out at this apartment with the 3 Austrians and a couple of other guys we had picked up along the way in Oaxaca - a guy from NZ and one from Switzerland. Playing cards, swimming in the pool, sunbathing. It was a great change of scene from the wet Oaxaca, however, it did lack the "authentic" Mexican experience that I was beginning to grow accustom to. Namely street food!
That pretty much sums things up since my last update. I've done a couple more days in an even small surf town a couple hours along the coast called Mazunte which was absolutely incredible, but pictures/experiences run pretty similar in all these locations.
I have three more nights in this part of Mexico before meeting Stevie in Guatemala on the 1st of November and celebrating my birthday on the 3rd. The next travel update (not sure about poker) will probably be in about 1.5 weeks. Hopefully I survive a two day volcano hike and safely leaving Guatemala City with a flight landing at midnight
Hope the grind is treating everyone well!
10-29-2018
, 10:05 PM
10-30-2018
, 12:03 AM
