Hello to the hordes of beautiful female playboy models reading. Although a minority, hello to the few 25-45 year old men reading as well!

I'd just finished up a 4 day run in a 1k WSOP event finishing ~30th place for ~20k when I found myself in no other place than the "hooker bar" at the "stunning" RIO All-Suites Casino and Resort sucking back a vodka soda and trying my hand at some "Jacks or Better" when I had this sort of harsh thought coming from some trapped deep down voice within me: "wtf are you doing Mike" "you're wasting your life away".

So I waved the smoke out of my face from the ratchet hooker's cigarette sitting to my side, left a couple bucks for the bartender, and made my way back to my room to book my flight home. Two weeks living at the RIO spending every waking hour playing a stupid card game is enough to drive any man mad. (Sorry I wish I had some hooker orgy/wild story to tell!)

I hate to say it guys but poker has been an amazing escape mechanism for me for a lot of years. It's been really easy to make some stupid blog and convince myself that winning poker tournaments is the answer to all my deep down issues and I've gotten lots of validation to support that mirage along the way. When I can be completely honest I've only made incremental steps in my health/fitness/relationship goals.

Hell, if I had this type of obsession and work-ethic towards anything else I could have achieved ****ing anything. If I spent 10% of the time and effort that I have towards poker on fitness, a new career, opening a business, relationships or anything: I would be elite in it. All these bright people I see sitting around a poker table for hundreds of thousands of collective hours begs the question: what if we put all of this focus and energy into something else? Find me anything else in the world that can occupy thousands of hours of time, sleepless nights, elevator conversations, texts etc. quite like poker can.

Don't get me wrong, poker has helped so many people (myself included) reach financial and other types of freedom. In a much more pessimistic view, poker has given so many people (myself included) this imaginary problem/quest to "solve this game" or "win all the money". It's like this absurdly complex problem that nobody can really wrap their heads around so we gain this illusion that we're doing something for our greater good to dedicate our lives to solving it. Why worry about finding world peace or fixing our horrendous habits when we can find the GTO check raising frequency on T63r off a 30BB stack? It's much easier and fun to tell ourselves that winning in poker is of utmost importance.

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I love poker as much as anybody and it's obvious why the game is wildly popular...it's the best game in the world. Poker can be an amazing bridge into anything or even an amazing career if you really want it to be. The game has led me down a wild journey and I'm so glad that I chose this over some type of menial job. The amount of things I've learned about myself and the world has been shocking. This game will put you through hell and back again (and to heaven once in a while)...I think it's made me a way better person for the future.

I didn't want to make this post to put a damper on the spirits of some young kid who wants to try out poker or whatever. Hell, all you've got is time to experiment and figure out wtf you want to do...life is too short to dedicate your life to what someone else wants for you. I'm just trying to figure this **** out like everyone else...these are just some raw thoughts from a burnt out reg playing Jacks or Better at the RIO hooker bar

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Going Forward
-Flight back to Vegas July 4th for the Main Event
-When home from Vegas limiting myself to grinding Sundays/live poker only for at least ~2-3 months
-Hire a coach or mentor to help me with health journey because I've failed doing it alone
-Enjoy the rest of the summer and dedicate it to life loving and poker only 1x per week
-Work on new revenue streams that don't involve gambling. Actually, just going to suspend myself from gambling outside of poker 1x/week.

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Thanks very much for reading if you could stay awake through all that! The post may not give off a happy tone but just know I'm feeling really good and happy about things right now My poker game/understanding is like miles beyond what it has been in the past and you'll still see me battling...don't you worry

-Mike

I've Failed

Let's call a spade a spade here.

When I was meeting with my mentor monthly about ~2 years ago and was trying put a spin on my outlined goals to make them tailored to "how I thought he would want to hear them"...I said things like: "I want to leverage poker into some other type of career" or "I want to quit poker and start a business". He was a corporate CEO type guy and I tried to tell him things in which I thought he would approve of me.

I remember telling him one of these statements and he just looked at me for a few seconds as if he was staring into my conscious and picking apart every little BS lie I was telling and he said: "Mike, we've met several times now and you keep telling me about getting a job etc. yet what have you actually done to put yourself in a better spot to get a job? -The biggest indicator of your intentions is displayed in your behaviour/actions...not your words. It's totally fine if you want to play poker for a living and you need to accept that and put yourself in a spot to succeed in it." -From that point on instead of talking about how to find a corporate career we started talking about how to achieve my dreams in poker.

"The biggest indicator of your intentions is displayed in your behaviour and actions".

It didn't really sink in until after the meeting where I realized he was right. If you want to change your actions and intentions you need to change your behaviour. I'd been telling him I wanted to go get a job, invest in real estate and lots of other pipe dreams-but in reality I did absolutely nothing to better my situation towards those avenues. BUT I was still playing poker 6+ days per week, thinking obsessively about poker, and working towards the poker dream several hours per day. BIG SURPRISE: I got really ****ing good at poker and achieved everything I could have ever dreamed of in this game. It's amazing what one can accomplish when they are dedicated to something.

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I've had a an annual PGC thread on this website for years now and every single year it's followed the same trend. Every single year I've talked about getting in shape, eating healthy, working towards branching out of poker etc. When I can be completely honest this has been the first year that I've taken serious steps and followed a plan for any considerable amount of time. Yet again though, I've fallen off the wagon the last few months and punted off most/all of the progress I made earlier in the year.

What the fk is wrong with me? Deep down I know that I need to be in good shape and health to be at my optimal happiness level...yet I keep making decisions that essentially put the puck in my own net. I know that losing weight is the thing standing between where I am now and my best life. Short term temptation keeps getting the best of me and it's been the narrative of the battle I've been fighting most of my 20's.

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Vegas Chronicles V2

Just got back from my second stint in Vegas a few days ago. Tournaments and the Main Event went sorta poorly. I played decent but couldn't get my head on straight after my flight was canceled so I had to pay an extra 1k for a last minute flight from a different city and play the Main off 2 hours sleep and max. tilt. Cash went alright but I wish I just turned home after my flight was canceled and took it as a sign I tried really hard and grinded hard in Vegas this Summer and had some deep runs to show for it (and a little profit)...but I'm happy to be home and it's time to enjoy the summer!

Onward and Upward

I've acknowledged how much I've failed at my health goals the last few years and how sick I am of re-writing the same story over and over. My liquid cash is in a great spot and I just can't play poker 12 hours a day and be at my peak health SO I think it's a good time to make some concessions to get back on the wagon:

1) Poker will be limited to one session per week-Sundays. If there is an exception I will not allow myself to play unless I've been to the gym that day. Another exception is 1-4 live stops I might play in the next 2-3 months. (See goal 4 for other exception).

2) Although pricey, I've accepted that the meals I cook taste like dog **** and I just can't be bothered cooking all the time. I've paid a decent amount to have healthy meals delivered 2x/week. It's like 6-700/month but whatever probably less than what I spend currently and is 6-700/month worth accomplishing a goal at my deepest importance? **** yeah. Here's the company if you're curious: https://www.lakelandsdietdelivery.co...rrentmenu.aspx

3) Signed up to a new gym with my buddy. He's been going regularly and we're gonna start meeting in the morning 4x/week. That will add some accountability. It's also a premium gym which I think adds a nicer atmosphere to work out in and has amenities like a steam room/sauna which will be nice to hit up after a work out sometimes.

4) Start improving at cash games and maybe play some cash sessions at night or whatever when I'm feeling the itch to play. These 10 hour tourney sessions just can't happen 6 days a week anymore.

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Gonna play one session tonight and then head up to my cottage tomorrow morning for a few days in the wilderness/fishing. Instead of the gym will be going for jogs. Feel like this reg has earned a little time off the grind-The first half of 2019 couldn't have went any better poker wise

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Sorry for all the ranting etc but enough is enough! GL to you guys and thanks for reading

Sup guys? Been a while! Lack of updates is mostly from a combination of: having my head down grinding, spending more time with girl in times I'd normally be alone and bored, and to be honest just not really giving a **** about updating here.

I guess you could say the passion and fire that was once there is just a wee' little flame now. It honestly feels like I've done everything I wanted to do with poker and the only thing keeping me around is the fact that this is all I've ever known. Poker has kinda just become this thing I do to pass the time, make a little money, and bide some time until I figure out what I wanna do with the rest of my life.

I still enjoy playing poker but part of me misses being that stupid 20 year old idiot that was obsessed with this game and was ready to give it everything. I still enjoy putting the tunes on and trying to figure out the intricacies of the game while forgetting about the world but it's just not what it used to be. The online climate seems to be getting shittier and shittier with every passing month and the opportunity cost of not pursuing other options appears to be getting more expensive.

I've become obsessive over golf and have been at the driving range or on the course almost every day this summer and have to say it's been quite refreshing to feel a new passion. In a way it's very similar to poker: a game that appears very simple at the surface but a man can spend a life time trying to master it and will come up short every time.

Gym has been non-existant but diet has been decent and life style has definitely been a lot healthier. Physical activity has been a decent chunk of most days and at the very least I've been getting out fishing or hiking in nature. It might sound bad but I feel complacent and content right now-regardless of still being far off my ideal weight and lifestyle. Probably get back to the gym routine soon shouldn't I?

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I wanted to share this little story:

So not long ago I went on a vacation to the Carribean to an all-inclusive "drink your face off" type of resort. The first night there I was really "feelin myself". First night of vacation, escaping the Canadian winter, dressed in my finest beach attire, and about 5 shots of Cuban rum down the hatch for some liquid courage.

Just after having dinner with my friend we ran into some of his friends that he met at the beach earlier that day and he was introducing me. To the outside of the group I noticed this girl; a girl in which I might consider a gift from the heavens. The finest ass since the one Mary and Joseph rode in Bethlehem. A perfect build and really pretty face.

It turned out she was with the group of people whom I was meeting. JACKPOT. So I start to get a little bit anxious and can tell the group is trying to get her attention to introduce her to me. I start to tense up a little bit and they say "hey Jane Doe this is Mike". She barely turned her head and didn't say anything-basically blowing me off .

That whole interaction just sucked the energy right out of me. From feeling on top of the world that night to feeling like I'd just gotten slow rolled by a Russian on FT bubble of the Sunday Million. Soon after I made some BS excuse to leave the group and head back to my hotel room where all these scenarios ran through my head as to "why am I not good enough?" "Am I really that bad that she can't even say hi nice to meet you?" Sounds pathetic but I felt so deflated. It took a lot of energy for me to put myself out there then just get snap shot down.

I eventually got over myself and continued on that night to get absolutely polluted. I vaguely remember passing out on the steps of the room because I was too drunk to figure out how to open the door.

The next morning there I was lying on the beach hungover as a dog when Ms. "God's Gift" walks by me in a bikini. The extra-tinted sunglasses on my face hid my wandering eyes that started from the sand and worked their way up to "dat-ass" etc and eventually up at her face. It was then that I realized this half of her face which she was hiding from me the night before was either in a serious accident or maybe some type of disease or medical condition caused it to be morphed. I couldn't believe it. Here I was thinking that "she can't even be bothered to turn around all the way to introduce herself to me...how insulting".

It wasn't that she was blowing me off in the slightest. In fact, she was probably feeling down on herself that she was so insecure that she couldn't even talk to a guy that was trying to introduce himself. I couldn't believe how much of a mind **** it was. It made me think about all the insecurities that I had and how inferior they were and all of a sudden I felt like ****ing Brad Pitt and instead of being so tilted by her I started feeling sympathy and understanding.

Like usual, I wish I had a better ending to the story but it kinda fizzles out there. When you're a young guy on the pursuit of the opposite sex you're going to get rejected...regardless of who you are...probably several times...probably more than you are successful. Just never get down on yourself for trying or getting rejected...failure is part of life and you're miles ahead of the guy who never tried! Like in the above story rejection is often the cause of something the other person is feeling or their own problems-not yours. Don't get down on yourself and use it as an excuse to stop trying.

Whether it's dating, poker, career paths, starting a business, or just the game of golf...just know that failure is all part of the journey and proof that you're human and have room to grow Separate yourself from the result and focus on the process-most times the result comes...after a lot of failing.

Signing out, Mike

Right there with you on the poker front. I've been feeling it for awhile now but my flame is almost fully burnt out. I think having to constantly deal with the variance is part of it, but I think the fact that I've still been making really good money and yet still just have very little desire to put in volume means I'm truly pretty over nlhe/maybe poker in general at this point. I'll probably still play awhile longer since the money is still good but I'm hopeful I will be able to figure out something else I'm passionate about working towards soon. Easier said than done though and I think it's natural to tire of something no matter what it is when you've done it almost every day for a decade+.

amen to that I think it's pretty common and so many players are in a similar boat as us. I guess the most important thing is to actively be looking or putting in some amount of time to branching out/trying new things-even if it's just dedicating a few hours or 1 day per week kinda thing.

The way the online climate has progressed I think naturally decreases motivation like for example back in the day every tourney felt so "winnable" and playing for heaping prize pools really fueled motivation and made the battles that much more intense. There was so much discovery and experimentation to do about the game. Now it just seems like many of us kinda know the game tree and approximate EVs so we don't make massive mistakes anymore or have much thinking or experimentation to do.

Today it's like the average tournament has 2k up top and the so-called "main event of the day" has like 10-15k up top. Can only imagine being some horse stuck in like 30-40k makeup today. Just feels like fighting over crumbs with other regs and the window for online poker is slowly closing.

That being said aside from the years I had a 6 figure score this has been my most profitable online year yet...ty to other sites that aren't stars haha

Yup for sure. Obv always lots of room to improve but personally I don't find the type of study in today's game interesting. I enjoyed everyone playing and trying to come up with adjustments thru just thinking about things or discussing with other people. I don't really find studying solvers for long periods of time that interesting tbh. I fully accept that it's the way things naturally go but it's just not for me. Luckily there's still plenty of money to be made without that for now but the ceiling for online (and seemingly live in a lot of ways too) is definitely slowly moving downwards.

Crazy to think how a decade ago you could just go fire up a $3-$5 rebuy or a $26 basically any time of the day and there be five figures up top to battle for regularly. Good times. There's still a solid ev ceiling, sites are just getting sketchier and there's higher rake and lower winrates.

Ty for sharing that story, is a good one and think a lot of guys, myself included , take rejection hard but is a great example of sometimes it's not you its them etc

so... when u realize why she wasn't turning her head, did u say hi to that girl when she walked by you to lift her confidence a little bit?

@tyman: yeah exactly and I'm in the same boat as you. I've done a fair bit of work with solvers but find it really boring and it's not nearly as applicable (imo) to the game as people seem to think. this might be a hot-take but: studying solvers and GTO has actually done more harm than good for the majority of people's games that have studied with them. when it comes down to it we're playing humans (in most instances hopefully) that respond with human thought patterns and human actions...finding equlibriums is pretty useful but it's far more useful studying what their patterns are and how to exploit that. ie: what spots do they perceive you to never have a bluff, what spots do they perceive you to have a tight/loose 3 betting range...if u can find these spots there is still MASSIVE edges to be had.

For example they see in a solver that the BB can x/r off 35bbs eff. vs a UTG open on 975r board and then they will see a 974 board and think it's the same thing...even though their value range is much tighter than the former and their range now becomes completely FOS and villain can just rip in tonnes of hands and print money (just my opinion)

-but yeah poker was so much fun when playing for piles of money and just kinda winging everything based on feel ...you might be suprised how many players are still doing that though and some fairly successfully! ty for the posts m8

herbal: np at all man. a lot of it is deeply rooted in self-confidence and insecurities imo but it's something that I think holds sooo many of us back. rejection brings this really deep pain and it's easier to just avoid potential pain and not try at all sometimes.

random example: go to a bar in a different city and find hottest girl in the bar...whom you will never see again.

upside: the possibilities are endless
downside: she says no/rejects you and you never see her again.

Most guys avoid trying altogether including myself most of the time

@re8: no sir I did not. in fact, didn't even end up talking to her the rest of the week just didn't come up really.

Sup regs?

Most GTO week in a long time. Kicked it off with a festival and ended it with a music festival with a lot of gym/healthy living and some tournament winnings to middle it out. Results on Stars/Party have been nothing more than mediocre in 2019 but I've been murdering the games elsewhere and went on an insane heater sports betting. Couldn't be more happy with my results in poker this year and where my mindset/perception of the game feel to be!

Yeah I drank a **** load and didn't eat great on the weekends for those festivals but meh those giant extrovert social settings generally aren't my strong suit and force me out of the comfort zone a lot more than sitting at home watching Suits. Feels good.

So today there was a spot in the 109 Sunday Million (which not only is a 109 now, but is also a prog. KO?) where there was a short stack all in for a decent bounty so I peeled an open with 59ss on the button. I flopped nothing and checked through in the heads up pot with the non-all in player, turn was the 9c bringing the 3rd club and I bet 2/3 pot, villain calls. River brings a 4th club and the villain quickly leads ~25% pot and I was kinda tilted and just told my buddy I never see bluffs here and didn't want to donate...before figuratively tossing my cards into the muck.

Not only would I beat the all in player, I also would have beat the player whom I'd never expected to see a bluff who had 77 with no club who ended up making me fold the best hand and scooping the nice pot+bounty while I sheepishly replayed the hand in awe empty handed. I mean this is a spot that if the villain is bluffing with any type of frequency we just need to pay it off...I just had the mis-assumption and paid the price.

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In psychology there is this thing called "The Dunning-Kruger Effect" which basically reports that people who have an objectively poor understanding of a subject tend to rate themselves relatively higher than people who have a much higher objective rating who tend to give themselves a poorer rating. (Been a while since studying that stuff but I think that's how it goes).

The reason being for this is a cognitive bias of essentially "you don't know what you don't know." This is so so so common in poker and it can be observed in so many of us from the old men at the 1/2 table trying to tell you "don't play any hand that doesn't add up to 19 or better" to commentators giving analysis of hands which they are completely clueless as to what the player was thinking, and sadly, it even applies to me all the time and the above hand example was a classic.

How often do you hear people say "I used to think I was so good at poker back then and now I realize I was bad". They often afterwards imply that they're good now. What's the likelihood 2 years from now you will ask them what they thought of their game? They will likely say "I was bad back in 2019 I've improved so much".

One ironic thing that I've noticed throughout the years in poker is that the best players are the ones who thoroughly consider many options to a hand and are constantly second-guessing their thought processes. Generally speaking, the worse the player the more likely they are to 1) always think their line was correct and seek to supporting evidence that their line was correct whilst deflecting evidence that could contradict their opinion 2) Be dismissive of constructive criticisms or "out of box" thinking.

All the time in this game things get slated as "standard" and the population eventually adapts that standard. Believe it or not there was a time when there was "rules" like you can't raise/fold a 15bb stack...you either raise/call or open jam. There was a time when people would fold K8o in the BB to a BTN open. There was a time where people would defend ATC in the BB.

The masses are sheep. While some things they adapt are completely good and the highest EV I think so much EV is lost because players have set aside a lot of raw instincts that made them good in the first place for this unrealistic "answer sheet". There's so many variables and the human error almost always causes us to 1) be biased in strategy application totally ruining the strategy (ie making a -EV play to balance top range instead we just make a +EV play, making our top range much weaker) 2) It's massively beyond even the computers head what a max. exploitative strategy is.

A lot of the time in poker we like to think we have the answers and quite frankly many people do think they have the answers. If you were to survey a random poker tournament field I bet ~85% of the players think they're +EV? How many are in reality in most fields? 20%?

This whole cluster**** of human psychology exists far beyond the game of Texas Hold'em:

-Doctors used to prescribe people cigarettes?
-How long was DDT used as an insecticide before scientists realized it made 5 legged salamanders and infertile frogs?
-The Canadian Food Guide said the majority of a Canadian's diet should be grains.

These are all things of massive consequence yet masses of people adopted them because they blindly believed figures of power.

I know I sound like a guy who's had a little bit too much DMT but just stressing the importance of critically analyzing things and not blindly applying them in poker and life. Just because your backer tells you something does not mean he's correct. There's a higher likelihood that he is correct and you are not, but it's almost always non-zero. They didn't really teach us how to think like this in school and thinking outside of the box can be the ticket out of being a hamster in a wheel.

You don't know what you don't know.

care to share what/where is "elsewhere"?

Not really sure what the purpose of this post is or where it's heading but we'll see...

Growing Up

What the **** does it really mean? Is it in terms of age? Is it when you have a stable career? When you develop a strong moral compass? When you choose the high road over the low road? When you put others before yourself? What is the end point or the defining moment of when you've "grown up"?

When you're a kid life is so easy. You wake up and basically be a passenger on a path pre-determined for you. Go to school, hang out with friends, do some basic chores. Regardless of whatever you did there would always be food to prevent you from starving and shelter to prevent you from freezing. (Unless you had a ****ed up childhood). There's very little room for meaningful choices and most of those are taken care of by your parents.

You just sort of assume that you will be taken care of and if you follow the right path you can do whatever you want with your future.

There's some point along the road where things start to change and you're the one in the driver's seat of your life. When you're 12 the biggest decision in your life is whether to play Halo or Call of Duty when you get home from school. There's this awkward stage in life where you start fighting for control of your decisions with your parents and next thing you know you're debating skipping Calculus class vs. playing Halo or Call of Duty. You have all the power of choice but you really start to realize the consequences of poor choices.



The time life started to really get difficult was Uni living on my own. I started making poor eating/exercise decisions and got fat. I skipped a bunch of classes to play poker or party and started failing. I started to withdraw from social settings as much as possible and got lonely. A vicious cycle ensued and it wasn't long before I was tangled in this web of bad decisions and started getting depressed and having severe social anxiety. I was really starting to be ashamed of the guy I saw in the mirror. If anyone reading has felt the same you can verify it ****ing sucks. Self worth and confidence was at an all-time low.

The sad part is that the answer was in plain sight: hit the gym, eat healthy, change schools, quit school, etc...and I didn't do anything about it. In fact, it just got worse and I'd just bury myself in 16 hour sessions of mass multi-tabling. I spent most of my University career having rarely >5k in my bank account and often would have to scavenge to pay rent a few nights before it was due. I climbed in and out of makeup just making enough money to get by. Looking back idk how I even did it.

I'll never forget the one Sunday where it all changed and my girlfriend had kicked me to the curb and I won the Sunday Million from my friend's couch who housed me for a few days. From basically shedding tears of failure the night before to shedding tears of happiness the next. In a sick way...all that struggle was worth it.

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Fast forward to just last year. Poker had been going great up until late last year. I torched a lot of money (idk on what even) and my finances were really starting to dwindle. Not sure if I've ever been open about it here but I was stone broke and my only asset was my condo. So bills were stacking up and collection agencies were harassing my phone whilst I was losing my jacket in the big 22. It was only a few days before the first of the month and I called my friend and told him "**** it man I'm dead broke and need to sell my condo or get a job." Just as I was about to e-mail him my resume to give to his manager he told me "nahhh **** this man...you're a lion...you love to hunt...you're a ****ing sicko and I've believed in you since day one!"

He wired me 10k and told me to give it one more shot. I was probably ~2 weeks away from getting my internet and power shut off. The power ended up staying on and I didn't need to sell my place. That moment triggered the biggest upswing of my career and other areas of my life have improved dramatically as well.

In a way **** got pretty real there. Not a pot to piss in and days away from pulling the plug on this game (if the hydro company didn't do it for me). In a way I felt pretty grown up knowing the consequences of my choices could be so drastic...but in a way I was still childish enough to get myself in that spot in the first place...wtf is growing up anyways?

Just remember that the path to success in poker and life is never linear. We're always growing until the day we die. I'll never forget the wind of power I got when my friend told me he believed in me since day one. So just know...

Gl mate. You have a nice way of writing things, hidden talent there!

ty man hope all is well. and @ re8 i pm'd

On this week's episode of "Hands From the Hood" we have:

https://www.boomplayer.com/31421794_85E6493427

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We got WCOOP comin' up fam and I guess I've been doing a little work to prepare myself and get in the right mindset for a few weeks of heavy grind. In terms of study this year I've decided to take a little bit of a different approach and actually do a lot less. Massive changes or implementations into one's game before a big series I think can become quite counter-productive if you're trying to apply strategies you aren't used to or haven't tested. When ABI ~doubles for many players the swings get more intense and it's probably not the best time to be re-routing your game.

I guess the most important thing (imo) is to get your mindset in the right place for these "series". Map out a plan beforehand of how much money you would be "ok" with losing beforehand and set a schedule/plan to sell action accordingly. It's so easy to shot take hard on day 1,2,3 and brick completely then be too tilted/stressed to keep firing later on. As cliche as it sounds every tourney is a marathon and not a race and the smallest mistakes in mindset or w/e can cost you thousands of $.

Best thing I've found is to hit the gym in the morning or go do irl ****. A good start to the day brings a calm and solid mindset going into the day's work. When other players are tired/stressed toward the finish line (when things matter the most) that's when you need to step up and come in clutch! Don't feel obliged to fire tourneys either or take a day off altogether.

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What I've Been Studying:

Without getting into too much detail or telling you guys how to exploit me:

1. Population tendencies/ certain type of villain tendencies. Trying to figure out strategies that beat them/strategies they are adjusting poorly to.

2. Cleansing my poker brain of the need to feel obliged to play "fundamentally correct". Focus more on what I believe to be higher EV. ie like everyone uses 33% c-bet sizing on certain board textures but experimenting with bigger/smaller sizings in certain spots. Trying out different sizings that the population isn't used to seeing/poor at adapting to.

3. Looking at some Pluribus hands and trying to figure out alternative lines/gain insights.

4. Solidifying pre flop opening and 3b/4b ranges.

-Not going too ham overall this is just a few things I've been sorta working on. I'm prob still just a big ol' nit for the most part though.

Best of luck guys see you at the tables

Had a couple late night coffees during my session tonight so pretty wide-eyed and gonna attempt to lull myself to sleep here. Session was really good had a bunch of deep runs couldn't close but felt really great.

I think a lot of us (regs/recs/afficianados/twitch railers) can agree or share the viewpoint that online poker is slowly dying. I was discussing with a friend and he asked me "what would you do if you opened a site? or what do you think is optimal?" I'm sure a lot of what I'm going to suggest is commonplace but perhaps not. Feel free to add anything if you feel you have any niche thoughts?

-Maybe one day ya boy gets a site up and running (but probably never haha)

PS Everything is subjective and "IMO"

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1. Solid Interface: Perhaps the biggest thing holding back a lot of these sites is that they are not user friendly. The lobbies are a cluster****, there is too much going on, the software is always laggy/buggy. Poker players are notoriously lazy and if they have to jump through hoops to play at a site or they are uncomfortable with the software they avoid it like the plague. Using Stars as a benchmark for A grade software, there isn't anything in the same grade.

2. Customer/Ownership Trust

3. Prizepools Poker players are often attracted to this game because of the "gambling aspect". The ability to win big amounts of money and chasing glory. For example a site is far better off having 1x100k GTD tourney than 2x50k GTD tourneys. Players get attracted to the big $ and getting more players funneled into a tourney creates a higher demand to play it...more recs play, more regs play, bigger prize pool created and positive cycle ensues. There is a bigger carrot to chase and user interest sky rockets. (Remember Red Spade Opens or Turbo Takedowns on Stars...flag ship tourneys players get excited for and generates traffic on the site)

-Maybe a format where there is clear and obvious "Majors" and maybe have a "2nd Chance Turbo" format of each one. Cut out the bowls and focus on a few really good/attractive games that players feel obliged to play.

4. Rewards System The old Stars system was great. It gave users a sense of "goals" and "brand loyalty". If an account went busto maybe it would re-deposit because it was close to a "stellar reward". It's kind of sad to say it but I believe the "tiered" system created addicts (that's how good it was).

5. Winning Player Treatment A player shouldn't be treated poorly or punished for being a winning player. Their results should be recognized and things like "leaderboards" or "contests" are great for giving players "goals". I remember railing "frosty012" "thelipofund" etc back in the day and idolized their grind. It's maybe what got me hooked seeing that "a dream can become a reality".

6. Action Buying It would be a cool feature to allow players the ability to sell action via the site. Instead of buyers having to trust player payouts the payouts would be deposited straight into their accounts. The ease of selling action would increase prize pools/guarantees etc.

7. Fair Fees and Prices Why does a 109 turbo have the same rake as a 109 Vanilla Freezeout? Player edges run far higher in the latter and it also takes much longer to play.

8. Huds I actually agree with the decision of Party to not allow HUDs. Part of the fun about poker at the start was gaining organic reads and being on a level playing field (which is what the game was at it's more pure essence). As long as "no huds" can be enforced properly I think it's a net positive improvement for the economy.

Anyone got any solid insights or suggestions?

A lot of people complain about how bad the online streets are becoming and I can tell you first hand the ship appears to be sinking quickly. We're kind of helpless sailors in a way but I think we're all just waiting for someone to hear us out and bail us out. There's so much market share just waiting to be stolen away and I think the solution is somewhat simple.

Thanks for reading d00ds. Time to bed, then a nice day of gym and poker tomorrow. Looking forward to it GN

GGpoker has the option to sell action to tournies. which is pretty neat imo

Oh wow the Tyler "Frosty" Frost name is a throwback. I wonder what he's up to, I enjoyed his blogs. I know he stepped away from poker after Pokerstars didn't renew his team online contract.

@ssks: yeah i've heard that too actually. never experimented with that site yet but have been meaning to as soon as WCOOP is concluded.

@tyman: big time lol i tried a little googling but couldn't find much. am curious what a lot of these type of guys have done after poker that you don't really see in the streets anymore

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yoyoyo been out in the streets grinding hard lately hence the lack of updates in here. Pretty happy to say I've regained traction and got a new gym membership at a different place to change up the routine a bit. Been eating pretty clean and keeping steady with workouts and being active when I'm not balls deep in a poker session. Had a session with a trainer at the gym which did a bunch of measurements/tests. Learned a lot of important stuff and got some better guidelines as to how many calories I should be eating per day etc.

Poker 2018 was tough when I was losing my jacket and was barely able to keep afloat. Was probably ~days away from either sacking off the grind and getting a job or selling my condo to free up liquidity. Was so difficult and had to sell action to all these low EV bowl tourneys on stars. Was so buried and strapped for liquid cash that I couldn't even find a few thousand $ to spread across some softer sites. Was sorta trapped having small pieces of myself in small tourneys until I got some traction. Thankfully the story had a happy ending

That brings me to this year where the run I've been on doesn't even feel real. Aside from losing/breaking even on Stars it feels like everything I've been touching turns to gold. Everything from buying pieces to grinding myself to punty sports betting. I've ran SICK bad on Stars for a long time now and it's kinda getting to the point that I just need to accept that the games are designed to be low EV/high variance and are infested with the best players on the planet. I'll keep trying for the remainder of WCOOP out of feelings of obligation but after that will be hitting the drawing board for a more efficient routine. No point wasting my time and money pounding sand and the time has come that I need to either A) put in heaps of study to match elite regs B) find greener pastures.

Post Series Plans

After grinding like a zombie for weeks my body/mind are demanding a nice break. It's so fkn hard to play this game for a living sustainably. Might just limit myself to a couple juicy live events coming up and sack off the online stuff til the end of the year (maybe just play Sundays).

Will be heading to Alberta to visit a buddy after the series. He's kinda dabbled in poker a bit and has a sweeeeet set up for grinding/working out. Guy is really sharp with fitness and def good influence to live with for a week or two.

After COOP til the end of the year I just want to go ALL IN on health. I'm talking like meditate every day, get massages, gym, eat like a guru etc. Ending the year with some very positive gains would be the nut way to cap off this sun run of a year imo

I don't mean to be mr. postive holly jolly etc here but finally everything is starting to come together out of what was utter chaos this time last year. After COOPs I'm also putting in new floors/new appliances/new paint in my place I'll show you guys some pictures when I'm all done with it.

Anyways, signing off for now. Hope y'all are doing well

Hey guys-been a long time since an update. Hope you all are doing well and WCOOP was lucrative!

I guess I should start off by saying things haven't been that well on my end.

As you may know I've mentioned a few "demons" that have been eating away at me for years. There isn't a day that goes by where 2-3 negative thought loops don't consume my unoccupied mind. I won't get too specific with things but there's been a few symptoms of stuff keeping me from optimal health. (I won't get into too much detail)

I have like a sick anxiety about doctor's and hospitals etc. A few times over the last few years I've convinced myself to get blood work done and speak to doctors. In those meetings really nothing was accomplished and for the most part my blood work was healthy so I carried on with life and tried to let the problems subside and fix themselves.

Flashback to a few days before the WCOOP Main Event in which I had already won my seat...After the doctor doing some advanced blood work and telling me I seem really healthy I refused to accept that for an answer this time. As you all have probably experienced-"googling" your symptoms always makes you think you have 3 hours left to live and can send you down a bottomless pit of paranoia.

I finally found something rather unpleasant that matched all of my symptoms and it sent me into a frenzy of panic. I was so sick of this stuff lingering over me and it was time to man up and face it. ****, whatever could happen it surely is better than living in this realm of fear, paranoia, and uncertainty.

Long story short I asked the doctor to run blood work for that specific ailment and he said there was about a 90% chance I was correct. However, he said I have nothing to be worried about etc. I went for an MRI test that showed up completely normal and met with a specialist for the first time today. My doctor said it was very good news that the MRI showed up clear and now he believes it's something much easier to treat. Time will tell.

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Anyways, it was the day before WCOOP Main and I'd barely left my bed let alone eat/drank anything for 3-4 days. I've never really experienced true depression in my life until that moment and was riddled with crippling anxiety. I didn't respond to a single message/call during that time frame and ultimately ended up skipping the summation of WCOOP along with the Main Event. Everything literally felt like a nightmare and all of the uncertainty/anxiety was eating me up inside.

It's been about 2 weeks since I've played a hand of poker now and I really have been completely detached from the community. It would be so much easier to just bury myself in some more tournament sessions to numb my mind but that's the easy route, the route I've always taken.

This "Long Walk to Freedom" never entailed that the walk would be easy or that the path to success would be linear. Yeah, I probably missed a lot of EV missing all those juicy WCOOP events but I've come to realize my health and happiness are so much more important to me than this stupid card game. I've had a pretty easy life to this point and have been so fortunate. Dealing with the **** that triggers/bothers/erks/pains me deep down is the most difficult yet most important step going forward.

The last couple weeks have been really difficult traveling down this deep, dark tunnel. I'm starting to see a light at the end of it...and I don't think it's a train anymore I've finally stopped being a coward and set out to find the truth, even if it may be uncomfortable.

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Anyways, I should be fine guys and if I can get these health issues tackled by the end of the year I can easily say 2019 has been the best year of my life. It's funny that the things that are the most uncomfortable for us to do are actually often the biggest key to unlocking our best self.

Sorry I haven't been keeping up the thread or putting in much of an effort to make it entertaining all year. Jus' know that your boy's out here grindin'!

Til next time, Mike

Your health and happiness are the most important things
Hope everything will be okay
Good luck

Sorry to hear that you haven't been well Mike. I hope you have gotten some help and that you will be get better soon.

My heartfelt advice is to prioritize your mental health and to seek help ASAP, including mental health professionals. Making a career in poker is a dead end; at best, it can be a means to an end if you can make enough money for life, then find fulfillment and happiness in other things.

Despite having a fortunate and happy life, I unexpectedly fell into a deep, dark tunnel like you a couple of years ago. I lost motivation for most things in life, including quitting online poker after being a grinder for a decade. Having a loving family, financial security and other blessings were not enough to prevent wishing that a train would head down the tunnel to end my suffering. After trying dozens of things for the past two years, including cognitive behaviour and other therapies, meditations, exercise and books, I unexpectedly saw that there is a light at the end of the tunnel recently. It seem slow progress in climbing back up, but I think I have finally escaped the demon's grip that had buried me in the dark.

May we all find our way into the light.

What's up guys? I appreciate you guys reaching out and the kind/inspirational words. That whole ~10 day tail spin was largely caused by a big health scare that really freaked me out and essentially turned me into a nervous, bedridden wreck until I started to get some reassurance that everything was going to be ok and the world wasn't ending etc.

Last couple years I've developed so much angst about doctor's/hospitals/health and sort of avoided it as much as possible. Eventually said fk it and went into the doctor looking for answers to my problems. Yeah, it involved almost fainting and some minor panic attacks but the doctor started looking deeper which was pertinent. I don't really want to get too much into specific details here but let's just say I had reasons to be a little bit freaked out. My doctor told me I should have no reason to be worried and I'll be ok regardless-even if it was worst case scenario. The MRI tests came back and he said it's very good news that they suggested I'm normal and that I now have even less reason to worry. Anyways, I still don't have too many answers but I met with a specialist and it sounds like after a bunch of tests etc. we'll get to the bottom of it and get the problems fixed!

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My friend and I always talk about lions. You know that Eric Thomas video where he talks about "Lions vs. Gazelles"? (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YlHI1FjAhqM) We always talk about how lions are the Kings of the jungle for a reason-they like to hunt.

This was in the midst of my "tornado week" where it was approx. 4 P.M. and I'd done nothing all day outside of playing a few games of NHL 20. My friend called me and I explained to him everything and how I didn't do **** for a few days because of the paranoia and anxiety of this health scare.

After explaining my scenario he said "look man, I'm gonna give you some tough love here. For as long as I've know you, you've always been a lion and if a lion isn't feeling well he still hunts. He doesn't sit around his den all day waiting for food to come to him. You're being the "I can't catch a break guy" that Rogan always talks about. Even if you were ****ing dying how would you feel if that was how you spent your last few days?"

It didn't really make me feel too much better but I agreed that I'd go for a workout and drink a bunch of water at the very least. Last week I started to come back to life a bit and I'm almost feeling normal again but looking back he was so right. Every day that I sat in bed, ate bad, worried was a day that I wasn't working on my craft or bettering/enjoying my life. I've broken so many promises to myself I feel sick about it. On the bright side of things I faced unknown/discomfort and put myself into the abyss of uncertainty-I'm so happy for that. Facing problems is how they get solved as opposed to ignoring and running from them

Poker:

Played the odd session here and there and the trend of 2019 seems to be continuing into the later months of the year. Since I've started playing poker 2019 has been the year I've had the most disinterest in the game but the best results I've ever had. Been running like a deer. Sort of embarrassed to say that I've put in almost 0 study this year and have only put in about 60% of my normal volume. I've come to terms with myself that I don't want to play this game for eternity/don't enjoy the game as much as I used to and those thoughts definitely seep into my mindset quite a bit. Maybe this rungood is payback for 2018 when I actually worked super hard on my game but was getting crushed. Wish I could be 1/2 as passionate about some other career path but hey, I'll keep searching

PS: Thanks for the support guys/people that have reached out to me privately. It's time for a little shut-eye...even lions need their sleep

Sup d00ds hope you guys are well. Gonna break the pattern of the last few posts kinda just reiterating how much anxiety etc I have over some of the **** going on. Facing the problems head on instead of running from them for the first time in a long time and it seems like the medical symptoms I have are 100% fixable and I'm gonna be ok.
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Pokerz:
Not been grinding a tonne at all but seem to keep winning in some of the untracked sites (will show a graph @ end of year) and actually had a rare score on Stars yesterday (2nd Big 109 for 13k). Haven't been working too hard on my game more just been taking an organic approach to things and relying more on instinct first as opposed to theory. (Focusing on theory 1st too much in the past I think caused some less than desirable results). The game feels a lot more fun this way and kinda mixing theory+exploits seems to be working much better than leaning too much to one way.

Here's a few hands for the lurkers (for old time sake):

https://www.boomplayer.com/31743610_17C55C5BA2
sometimes ya gotta put the cape on and see if it fits

https://www.boomplayer.com/31743501_E5CC6F2BA9
not sure i even like this bluff really. in theory i think its standard/fine but just think fold equity isn't there cuz villains seem to be stationy in these spots (especially when I over bet turn his calling range prob becomes a lot tighter). in a re-entry tourney when the jam doesn't hurt him too much to make a curiosity call idk if its great. didn't even expect to get folds much lol.

https://www.boomplayer.com/31741152_D9257262F4
same as above lol

https://www.boomplayer.com/31736454_9B30521F78
if the cape fits wear it

https://www.boomplayer.com/31735263_F58B5712B8
like 10 off ITM. whats our thoughts here? guess it varies by villain quite a bit?

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Poker Thoughts

I wanna talk a little bit about something that bugs me in the poker community regarding "action selling".

Beginning of this year I was liquid broke. Yeah, I own my place and have some decent assets but I'd been steadily losing at poker for ~10 months straight and cash was grim to say the least. I was faced with this decision to either 1) sell my assets 2) get a job 3) make poker work even though it hadn't for so long. Bills were stacking up and cash was drained...I had to figure something out QUICK.

The Fallsview Classic was approaching and in the back of my head I sort of thought I was gonna quit the game after the tournaments and move on from poker or sell off my assets and stay within the game.

Regardless, I calculated worst case scenarios and left myself some survival money for the likely event that I bricked the 1100, 2500, and 5200 events. I devised a plan to sell to the events at a high-ish markup so I could take on very little personal financial risk. (I was in a spot that I was literally scavenging to pay bills).

Anyways, my back was against the wall and I ended up winning the first tourney I played there for 250k. Considering that I was a guy going from liquid busto to robusto I couldn't be more happy with myself and fortune. In hindsight it felt kinda gross having to pay out a decent portion of the score to investors but my decisions were very responsible and thinking about bankroll in a strategical way like that has allowed me to stand the test of time in this game. "Broke pros" come a dime a dozen in this game and most of the time it's from poor bankroll management or not beating their games.

I met up with my friend for a few drinks that night after winning and he was telling me he ran into a few "haters" who were calling me a bankroll nit and that I'd take 20% of myself in the Main Event the next day. (Don't think I'd ever have that small of myself in a 5k but w/e).

Remember that scene of Andy Dufresne crawling out of the **** pipe in Shawshank Redemption? That was essentially me after winning that tourney. One of my biggest poker accomplishments and people are shitting on how much % I sold of myself? My friend told me "fk those guys they don't know what you went through and you had to do what you had to do to play".

Where would these guys be if I busted my bankroll on 3 tournaments and couldn't afford a tank of gas to drive home? Where would they be if I got kicked out of my condo because I couldn't afford the fees? Would they be there to help me out? Or would they be chirping saying I was a busto-degen?

Life continued and around most poker settings guys who I didn't even know would ask "how big of a piece of yourself did you have?" or "I hope you had a big piece of yourself."

"I don't know bro, how much do you make an hour at work and I hope you're saving diligently for retirement."

Ironically, their question and mine are one in the same, but the latter is considered completely unacceptable. Poker is my livelihood and what makes it ok to ask those interrogative questions or to tell me how to manage my bankroll?

I really don't mean to sound like a deuche here but murmurs still go around about this and in a way I think haters just wanna hate. Haters can hate but just know that even without the live score, 2019 has been my most lucrative year to date...and I had a big piece of it

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To a recreational player who plays a 1k tournament for fun 2-3 times a year they would think it's sheepish to sell action. I can promise you grinding 1k buy in tournaments with 100% of yourself with a 5k bankroll is a sure fire way to go broke 95% of the time. As a professional your liquidity is vital because as a poker player it's extremely difficult to get credit and banks/lenders will laugh in your face. If you have a 20% ROI and sell at 20% markup you achieve your long term ROI with "0 variance". If you have a 20% ROI and can't actually play the tournament because you lost your roll on a downswing you achieve 0% of that ROI

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Not sure why I felt the need to make that post. The thoughts of the haters means less to me than it ever has but it still gets to me a little bit I guess! Thanks for reading fam and best of luck

-Mike