Results 5/10: -$580

Well more losing. I feel like I have been playing poorly recently. And getting unlucky at the same time. Those two things always seem to run together don't they?

Lol Flop

Hero UTG+2 ($590) KK
Villain 1 UTG+1($235) JTos
Villain 2 MP (covers) ??

V1 opens to 20 from utg1 and hero 3bets to 50, V2 calls, and V1 calls.

Flop KQ9ssx ($150)

V1 checks, Hero bets 50, V2 raises to 200, V1 calls all-in for 185 and hero jams for 340 more. V2 thinks and folds.

Turn river blank and we lose. (Won 15 in side pot!)

I played this like crap. I should just be calling the flop raise and then leading small on most turns. I shouldn't be too worried about V2 having a flush draw since he cold called 50 preflop. That should narrow his range down considerably. Of course just calling I could be giving V2 a free card to beat me but I have redraw outs should he hit. Whatever.

Why Can't I Fold

Hero UTG+1 (covers) A3ss
Villain 1 BB ($300) Q9hh

Hero raises to 20 and V1 calls. It's 5 handed and V1 just sat down.

Flop ($40) AK3hhh

Hero bets 20 and V1 check raises to 40, hero calls.

Turn ($120) 6s

V1 bets 65, hero calls.

River ($250) 4s

V1 goes all-in 175, and hero doesn't think too much and calls. Very poorly played by me I should just be folding this turn. He told me that he has beat when he min check raised the flop. It's ok to fold.


I can't I can't I can't stand losing. I can't I can't I can't stand losing. I can't I can't I can't stand losing.




Yeah I try to put my opponents on ranges of hands and sometimes I feel like I can accurately narrow their range down to maybe 1 or 2 specific hands. Sometimes an opponent doesnt play any other way and they are just very obvious about their holdings.

I was sat at the table next to you during Hand 1 and your stack was only $295. WTF man?!

Them's fighting words!

It's pretty ridiculous for someone to be certain they counted my stack when they were never at the table with me and can only have seen my stack from one angle. I know how much money I had in front of me and I don't know why I would exaggerate my losses. If anything I think I would discount my losses and exaggerate my wins. But it's whatever. Just gotta let some stuff go.

But when someone calls into question the facts as I present them it calls into question the whole validity of this thread and everything I say. Maybe I didn't really hit a jackpot? Maybe I didn't win a 10k seat in a raffle? That's why it made me mad for someone to say that I for sure misrepresented my stack when they were wrong and never at my table. I'm not gonna lie ITT, that's lame.

Ruh Roh.

More fight talk.

I don't want to fight anybody. It was all a bluff.

would you be busto if it wasnt for that jackpot score?

Rick, I’ve been enjoying your thread as entertainment and I want to say that I feel a lot of sympathy for you and because I don’t believe you don’t have bad intentions and are a good guy I want to give you some advice that you’re obviously going to either take to heart of forget and either way I wish you luck.

I’m writing this from an informed perspective as an addict who’s had a lot of the same issues you have, to either a larger or to a lesser degree. This is pertinent information for a lot of reasons.

It’s obvious that you are insecure. You’re almost manic in trying to overcompensate for this. Insecurity is something everyone deals with, and we are all just somewhere on the spectrum, but if you are in your 30’s and are insecure to the extent that you are, it is time to get serious about addressing it, and getting honest with yourself, or it is going to have serious repercussions in your life.

Find out what you’re insecure about, get honest with yourself, and talk about it with someone else - a family member, a support group, a shrink. Talk about it a lot. I got bullied some as a kid and I carried that **** around for a long time. I felt that I HAD to challenge anyone who questioned me or said something negative to me to a fight. I fought a lot and hurt a lot of people and in the end, as cliche as it sounds, I only hurt myself. I never felt better. When you challenge Gazzy to a fight, to me it looks like a cry for help. You want to ”prove” to him (and to us) that you’re a bigger man. But really, you are just hurt because a better poker player than you made fun of your ability (fwiw I think I this was pretty lame of him but he, like everyone else, has his own insecurities which made him want to make fun of you). In these instances, if you were really secure with yourself, you would just smile and not care if someone questioned something about you. The truth hurts and it’s in your best interest to figure out what the truth is about yourself instead of letting your fragile ego get shattered by it. As it is, you just want him to back down. At 5’8 and 120, you’re a dog in a fight with almost any guy who can handle himself. If you don’t want that to be your truth, then do something about it that will have a net positive in your life. Start lifting. Train jiu jitsu. In the process, you will start to feel good and confident with yourself and will lose that desire to have to prove yourself, because you know you don’t have to.

I’m not going to get into whether or not I think you are lying about your stack depths or not, but if you are, it should be a major alarm bell that you have a gambling addiction. The fact that you are willing to sacrifice normal life comforts for it is already a huge one. If you don’t have a gambling problem (and I truly hope you don’t) then great. But If you DO have a gambling problem (and trust me, signs point to yes here), it will save you a word of pain, financial loss, and possibly much more if you find out sooner rather than later.

Last point - (Blah blah I know)....addictions are progressive. A number of poker players are mildly or somewhat addicted to poker in ways that aren’t harmful to them. Unchecked this can blossom into a full blown addiction. In your case, I’d try to rebalance your life and start living more of a healthy and balanced life. Healthy lives are stable ones. A healthy life allows you to feel good about yourself. As it is, you are relying on your success on the felt to feel good about yourself. I can’t stress enough how bad that is for ANYone mentally. In your case, the simple fact remains that you have played poker for 15 years and are living in your car. You haven’t had success in this game. If you want some, I’d do what I suggested above - get honest with yourself. Then I’d get a normal job and some healthy activities to go with it. Then a stable place to live.

With those things in place, I’d say you could give poker a shot and perhaps have some success. As it is now, your outlook is bleak at best.

I do think you’re a good guy and like I said this thread has been entertaining to read. GL op.

^

Thanks for taking the time to write all that in an effort to help me, I read it and I appreciate what you wrote. My stack count was definitely accurate I would bet my life on it. Thats the problem with Gazzy saying he is 100000% certain how much money I had in front of me when he wasn't at my table and he is wrong. You doubt me even still and think its possible I'm lying! He is wrong about how much money I had. I don't understand how he can say he was certain when he was never at my table and he only ever saw my stack from one angle, its absurd and it pisses me off. Never apologized or admitted he could be wrong. Efff that guy. But you can go ahead and believe his version. And I got a lot of insecurities and problems but definitely not an addiction to gambling.

I'm pissed off that you don't believe me about my stack. Like seriously you think it's possible I'm lying? Not that dumbass miscounted my stack from a bad angle and not at my table? You believe him because he said he is 100000% certain?!? Well good for him he's 50000000% WRONG and convinced you I'm a liar. Efff that. I never lied and I didn't miscount my own effing stack. Efff Gary for convincing people I've lied or there is a chance I'm lying. If you think there's even a chance I'm lying then you can gtfo as far as I'm concerned.

Like seriously all I can see now is that you think I might be lying.

If you subtracted it from my current bankroll it would be pretty close. Lame.

Sorry Oladipo I know you're only trying to help. I'm addicted to weed.

I went to see Avengers Infinity War a few days ago with my cousin. It was a good movie but I would have liked a bit more dialogue. My plan is to start going out more and do the things needed to fix my life. I'm going to see my friend's band play next Friday. Should be fun.

Here's a story of how insecure I am. Two players at the table were talking about traveling. One player was talking about how he went to high school in London and the other guy was talking about going to Peru among other places and they were saying things like how important traveling is and how most Americans don't travel enough and when there was a pause I added "Well you know what Emerson said, 'Traveling is a fool's paradise.' " Long awkward pause. I start feeling like a pos. "Sorry I don't mean to be rude". "Who said that?" "Ralph Waldo Emerson". He proceeds to look it up on his phone. "Yup"

https://emersoncentral.com/texts/ess...self-reliance/

Results 5/11: -$305

Well I managed to lose again. My emotions are too wrapped up in my results. Commerce is running a promotion where a random player at a random table wins $500 every 2 hours. My table was picked twice yesterday but I didn't win.

Folding Aces

Hero UTG+1 (covers) AA
Villain SB ($520) ?? - Villain is a MABG avg reg too loose preflop decent postflop.

Hero raises to 20 preflop and only villain calls.

Flop Q76ccx ($45)

Villain leads into us for $45 and we just call.

Turn Jx ($135)

Villain tosses out 3 hundred dollar chips leaving himself two stacks of yellow. My new rule is going to be if I can fold it, fold it(within reason). This just feels like 76 to me and I have the ace of clubs so I fold. Lose a small pot with aces.

Another Fold

Hero BB (~$500) 99
Villain BTN (covers) 76 -Same villain

A player opens to 15 from MP two callers then villain calls and I call in the blind. 5 players to the flop.

Flop 762hhx ($75)

I lead out for $45 (probably should go bigger) and two players call and then villain raises to $245. Easy fold, everyone else folds and villain shows 76 so I feel better about folding aces earlier.

The Pain

Hero BB (covers) 99
Villain 1 BTN($470) KTos -- same villain
Villain 2 CO ($350) A9os

A player from MP opens to 20 and V1 and V2 call and I call in the big blind.

Flop AJ9r ($80)

Hero checks, opener checks, V1 bets 40 V2 calls and hero decides to just call other guy folds.

Turn Qr ($200)

Hero checks V1 bets $190 V2 calls and hero jams all in both villains call and KT holds.

I think I played this hand wrong. Not by calling, but by not leading myself. I need to be leading this flop with 99 because it's not a guarantee someone else will bet and 3 other people seeing the turn for free is unacceptable. However since I checked I think check calling is much better because check raising will be too face up for my opponents and is going to get them off hands like AQ that are going to bet again on the turn. It's unfortunate V1 had a hand he would have paid me off if I had played it fast. Oh well.

I left feeling steamed and came back and played at a different table. Stickyrice was at my second table. He played very spewy as expected and got unlucky too. There was a pot where a guy had a straight and the board paired on the river and he lost an all-in and later he asked me "The board didn't pair on the river did it?" I lied and said I didn't remember. I don't like telling people they folded a winner, it's upsetting. There was also another player at the table who was a legit rank beginner. He folded an ace on a board with quads. Stickrice was giving him lessons lol. I like playing at fun tables and I don't mean bad players I really do want to have fun. Winning some money would be cool too since I'm so damn close to broke though.

Maybe drop down to 1/2 & rebuild your roll w/o pushing your RoR @ 2/5.

I'm playing $300-$500 buy in 5/5, I'll drop down to $200 buy in 3/5 if I continue losing a bunch. I'll just keep threatening myself with getting a job.

Damn bro this has been hard to watch. Rooting for an upswing.

I'm not a fan of having a leading range otf especially multiway. Its just so hard to balance in that spot and I think more often than not you put yourself into a big pot scenario oop and no matter how good you are its going to be hard to realize your equity. I mean its tough because you have a big hand and you want value but it gets spicy a lot.

Also I would've preferred a sqz with the 99.

Take a break dude, study a little bit, watch some training bids etc... Or drop down limits because things ate starting to spiral. I've been lurking for a while so I want to see you win bro.

GL

99 squeeze / not lead all day

You're already losing a bunch. You admit you'd be bust if not for the jackpot god's intervention. Take some good advice. If you want to stop the bleeding, you should drop down & play w/ full stacks where the swings won't break you. Period. You're not lowering your RoR enough by just buying in shorter @ 5/5. You don't even seem to consider whether or not your technical play is good enough to thrive @ 5/5.

You're a likeable guy, but you have some very serious blindspots that many people are pointing out (much to your chagrin).

Also, a part time job is not defeatist -- it will give you alot more flexibility/security/structure & you can still play/live cheaply while building toward your poker future.

Yeah been hard to live. But I put myself here, throwing away a lot of money mostly, playing over my head, etc. I can come back though.

I'm just going to play through it and tighten up my game considerably. I've been way too loose.

Yeah I think you guys are right, thanks. I will make some adjustments to my game. 99 is borderline squeeze, def squeeze the 15 open and the 20 open prolly too. For the record I would squeeze TT here all day 99 and lower is generally my cutoff for just calling preflop but this is a good spot to 3bet.

Thanks . Yeah if I have to get a job I will. What I really need to do is quit smoking weed. It will raise my IQ by 5 points and boost my memory, level out my temperament and reduce tilt, reduce spazz factor, increase my time at the tables. Basically take me from a breakeven player to a slightly better version.

Yes I am.

Hmmm you enjoy seeing me fail huh? Glad I can entertain!

But tell us more about you BroadwaySushy... What's your dream and are you living it?

Good luck Rich. I echo everyone else in that you should play 1/3 for a little while, or get that job before you absolutely need it. That way you won't go completely busto if you keep running bad

Things looking rough, OP moving into a tent soon? Fingers crossed for upswing so you can at least upgrade to a trailer park.

Yeah thanks I'm not quite broke enough that I need to move down from 5/5 yet. And I can my last two jobs back immediately if I needed.

Yeah it's all about perspective.

You introduce negativity.

How old are you? How much did you pay for your house? How much interest did you earn on a savings account? What was your cost of living? Why do you think your in a position to judge me?

Lol.

Nah efff the tent. Been there. That's a rough journey.

Upswing imminent. According to Sinatra it's supposed to happen in June. Or I die.

Results 5/12: -$305

Lost with a set of fours to runner runner wheel today, which happened the other day too. Deja vu. Both times A5s that had nut flush draw too.

I don't think he's judging you, he's just advising you stop going down the path you're going because it's a trainwreck waiting to happen. I think that is quite reasonable advice.

This interesting thread.

Can I get cliffs on current roll and living situation?

FFS, drop down already. Your pride/ego are getting way the best of you if you're thinking all is well playing short stack 5/5 w/ a 10K roll & seemingly nothing set aside for living expenses. You don't think you're "broke enough"? Come on.

By all means, moderate your cannabis intake. But using the "weed is holding me back" argument to cover up your own shortcomings as a player (both in terms of technical play & BRM) is a lame excuse. You're not a winning player yet & you're @ serious risk of going broke -- that's the reality. You'll always be able to scapegoat something for your bad results if you don't take proper ownership of your very real leaks.

Anyway. Take care.

I think a lot of people commenting in this thread assume that not having a stable living situation is a bad thing. It’s unclear to me, Rich, whether you share this view or not. But you do seem to be getting a lot of advice that you don’t want to hear and perceive as negativity.

So I would ask you, What are your goals? If you simply want to continue living the life you’ve been living for as long as you can (i.e., until your money runs out and you’re forced to go back to driving a bus), then I guess nobody’s advice in this thread matters.

But most of us want some level of security: we want to know that our most basic needs (for food, clothing, shelter, health care, and social interaction) will continue to be met throughout our lives.

I should perhaps explain that I write this as a 57-year-old who thinks about what my life will be like in 25 or 30 years. When I was your age, I gave no thought to the future and had tens of thousands of dollars of debt to credit card banks and the IRS. I was also a losing poker player, though I've since gotten more serious about the game and have been a winning recreational player for the past 20 years.

There are ups and down in poker, as you well know. But there are ups and downs in life, too. What will happen when your car gets stolen or totaled in an accident? What will happen when you get sick or injured and can’t play poker for several months? (You’ve said that insurance is a scam; do you even have health insurance?) What will happen when your grandmother dies or moves into a care facility, and staying with her or showering at her place is no longer an option for you? What will happen when your cryptocurrencies lose 90% of their value (I, too, own cryptocurrencies, by the way, though they are only a small fraction of my investments)?

If your goal is to be a professional poker player for the long term, I would ask you to consider (as others in this thread also have) that bankroll management is an important skill to master. This was why people objected when you didn’t sell some of your action in the $10K WPT event; this is why people are suggesting that you drop down in stakes to build your bankroll, temporarily at least.

I don’t know if this was a joke or a troll (though you keep insisting you’re not trolling us), but it would be foolish to actually try this. The risk of ruin is simply too great.

The betting decisions you make at the table are not the only things that make you a good or bad poker player. Hypothetically speaking, of course, if you go broke someday because of poor bankroll management, will you be able to recognize that you were not as good a poker player as you thought because you didn’t manage your bankroll properly?

And what are your hourly win rates in the different games you play? Winning poker players generally keep meticulous records of their results—and use those records to help them select which games to play.

I don’t play for a living, but I do keep track of my wins and losses. I had a short session last week in which I won $266/hour, and it’s not uncommon for me to have sessions in which I win $50 to $100/hour. But after I average those winning sessions in with my losing sessions and with my 18-hour break-even sessions, my hourly win rate goes way, way down.

Do you have a budget for living expenses? How much do you spend each month on hotel rooms, food, car expenses, health insurance, clothing, entertainment, etc.? Are you winning enough each month to cover those expenses? What about paying taxes or saving for retirement—or do you simply not care about those things? (I assume, by the way, that both the IRS and the California Franchise Tax Board were notified of your two four-figure scores and will be expecting their cut at some point.)

Bankroll management, money management, time management, game selection, emotional control—these are all as important, or more important, than your decisions to check, call, bet, fold, or raise a particular hand on a particular street against particular opponents in a particular game. That’s the big picture; don’t lose sight of it.

Two books I think you might especially enjoy: a short novel called Shut Up and Deal, by Jesse May, and Elements of Poker, by Tommy Angelo.

Thanks for sharing your journey with us. I wish you all the best, in poker and life both.

Great post by agamblerthen.

Just popped in to say I just read through your entire thread and wanted to wish you the best of luck. I sincerely hope to see you succeed in poker and in life.

To summarize one piece of wisdom that agamblerthen touched on and I'd been thinking for the last few hundred posts...

Being a successful/crushing professional poker player requires a hell of a lot more than just being the best player sitting at your table.

I too am not a pro player, I played for my sole income supporting my family for a little over 2 years as the sole provider and have since returned to the working world (early 2013).

I don't recall who said it, perhaps Greenstein, but someone attempted to communicate that step one in being a professional poker player is the understanding of and ability to diligently execute bankroll management to reduce risk of ruin.

I hope you carefully consider your goals and don't allow pride to prevent you from moving down in stakes. I was seriously under rolled when I played for a living and it made things ten times harder than they should have been.

to add to what you said baeventures, I think one of the most significant hurdles for exercising proper brm is that people feel that they want to earn X hourly or have the potential for Y +$ in a session from the poker they play. So if they don't think 1/2 can satisfy that, they play bigger even if they're underrolled so that poker as a vehicle for success can accomplish their (potentially unspoken/unrealized) expectations. The thing that makes brm difficult is that the amount of money necessary to have a negligible risk of ruin while accomplishing the 40-100 $/hr or be able to win 1-5k in a night is upper five figure. And for the people struggling with brm, they are the ones that don't have that money on hand and are just starting out running up a bankroll. There's some kind of entitlement issue at play most of the time, like we are seeing in this thread. The classic version I see is someone that wins big shot taking 5/10 and now they're a 5/10 player in their mind and don't want to drop back down even when they should on their next (eventual) downswing.

Another dimension to this issue is people that just need to fire off their roll no matter how big it is but that isn't relevant to this thread so I'll pass on it. I realize there's more to the subject but hopefully you guys can see how this applies to rich's situation.

I don't think Rich can actually get what he wants out of poker. He doesn't have the ability (yet) nor the bankroll to play in the games that he feels entitled to. The real path to success in this game isn't available to him because he's already tainted by playing too high and spending too much. I know a 5/10 pro that went busto and ground his roll back up at $40 cap $1/2. That is the kind of discipline and mental fortitude that it takes to be successful in poker and I just don't see it happening ITT.