Good to see you're enjoying the games at TCH. I've been in and out of Austin a few times over the last few weeks but the rake structure put me off (obviously far more worthwhile the more sessions you play and I'd only be able to play one. That + no car meant it wasn't feasible).

What do you think of Austin in general?

Yeah unless you're coming fairly often the membership fee becomes pretty crazy. I just did a month for 30usd because I'm leaving end of this month. The $10/hr I don't think is that bad considering what you pay in London, especially when you're in a bigger game. And yeah without a car it would be a total write off, that's the case for a lot of america though.

The first time I walked in a saw I guy waiting by the desk wearing all Texas Card House clothes, I thought he worked there but then he grabbed chips and sat down and I just wrote it off as being one of those passionate rec players who enjoys wearing poker merch. Well I'm on his table and some conversation starts with "oh so you're playing not dealing today". Turns out the guy is a dealer here too. Feels v weird since in basically every casino environment dealers aren't allowed to play. I feel I'd feel pretty bad stacking a dealer and then having him deal to me the next day. I can also imagine the tilt if he wins a bit pot vs you and then when he's dealing to you the next day he goes "ah I can't believed you called me on the river when I had it".

I think if you're a long term reg there the rake structure and session charge is super good.

In regards to Austin in general, my parents live like a 35min drive away from the main city, we're basically in some hillside near a lake here which is beautiful but means I haven't been that integrated in city life in Austin. The handful of times I've been there's nice green space near the State Capitol, a very good food scene (I'm a bit of a food snob and there's some very very good mexican places). The people are very friendly as well and not in an overly fake LA sort of way. Big shock the only place I've encountered pricks is at the poker table But yeah nice parks and lakes and coffee shops and I don't have much bad to say about it at all. Nice bar scene too (even though I'm not the biggest drinker I can appreciate it).

Had one hand at TCH I thought I'd share.

1/3 UTG fish limps, v big whale overlimps UTG1 (1.5keff with him), I iso CO to 20 with T8s, the BB who's bowl rolling with 250 makes it 55, the UTG calls, UTG1 calls and I shrug call.

(221) T94rnbw

The BB checks, the UTG wants to rip 300, UTG1 now snap says all in and jams for 1.5k, I rofl re-check my cards and fold, BB folds too.

Turn is a J and UTG1 whale goes "that's me", whilst I'm a bit puzzled he rolls over J9o and river bricks to beat the ATo of UTG. I tried my best to not be surprised externally but inside I was like "wtffffffffffff".

But yeah I'll likely be back here for xmas and come visit family whenever Vegas gets too much.

I originally planned to write up some long drawn out post on why I've stopped playing video games entirely. It was a fairly negative and long winded view but I guess I'll condense it a bit.

Basically throughout my childhood and into my late teens a lot of my free time was spent on a game called "Runescape". Life wasn't the easiest at times, parents separated and one moved country, I was being moved around the world a lot due to parents work commitments. A lot of my free time outside of school was spent playing, I didn't socialize much at all outside of school time, I remember summers where I would get on and play 10 hours a day, every day.

It was just an escape for me during difficult periods, it was a way to forget what was going on around me. I put in 100s of days playtime in and I guess what always annoyed me a bit is having nothing to show for it.

The funny thing is I think what normally triggers people to write stuff like this is when they reach a breaking point where they can't return and just want to move on at all costs, but I've pretty much already moved on, I have played barely any over the last year or two. Looking back I don't think I enjoyed my time playing that much either. I mean I'm sure relatively in a mental regard it got me through some difficult times.

I just feel for me it's good to pursue hobbies and goals with something tangible at the end of the road, for all those hours I don't think I have anything to show for it, and I don't mean that in the external "oh others can see I'm good at x" it's more internally I just view it a lot as dead time. I don't think I got skillful at something, I just wasted my time.

Of course you can't change the past and I think what I decide pursue on the side has changed drastically vs when I was a teenager and doing things I largely didn't enjoy. Like we all as humans need some time to switch off and escape but I think the reality for me is that poker is my escape. I genuinely enjoy it as well and I'm able to make a living from it. But when I come home or whatever I don't find the need to escape into a virtual realm. I much prefer pursuing more "present" tasks, cooking or running/walks or chatting with friends or playing/listening to music. I find myself getting a lot more back from those kind of things versus gaming where I kind of felt this dirty/guilty pleasure out of just sitting on the PC all day. I think video games are really good for many people out there, just given my current lifestyle I think there are better things for me to pursue when I'm away from the table.

I'm off to Vegas in under two weeks, I'm looking forward to getting back on the grind, it's been a bit disjointed here in Austin since I've had a lot of admin stuff which has taken a while and also I'm here with family and dinners/events etc make it hard to find good times for sessions. There's been some pretty funny conversations and games have been very playable but I'm looking forward to getting away from the family home and just focusing on work.

I'm excited.

I'm excited for what lies ahead, I think in the past couple of years my life has been fairly monotonous. I actually get a lot of intrinsic happiness from monotony, likely far more than most. I guess it feels weird (at least to me) to look forward to a new environment and adventure. I'm by no means expecting that excitement to fuel my motivation for long. I think the people who expect that are often the ones who burn out the fastest but regardless, a big moment in my life is around the corner, if you told me 2-3 years ago I'd be living in Vegas as a professional poker player I would have likely replied with "that's the dream". And well here I am.

This isn't some "I've followed my dreams and made it" post. Whilst the above "that's the dream" bit, I likely would have said, it's meant in more of a loose sense, I've never really been much of a dreamer, some of my friends have these elaborate dreams and goals which enable them to stay in nice hotels, travel the world etc. There's of course nothing wrong with that in the slightest and I myself am not opposed to the occasional nice meal out with friends, but I don't have any crazy goals, I'm genuinely content sitting at home with some tea and toast and just being able to play poker. I think in regards to my social activities I'm a very simple person. I don't do many tasks, I don't have a desire to try lots of new things but I'm really content with what I do in the present. And just to clarify, I don't think I've come anywhere near to making it and I have lots to work on both on and off the felt. Anyway, excessive self assessment aside why don't I outline some goals for Vegas (I fly in on the 29th July btw).

-First things first is put some proper volume in. Initial plan is to play 5/10 (likely at Bellagio). I'll check out some other gaffs but for the most part I imagine I'll be there, maybe Aria and Wynn 2/5. Want to try and get out of the readless phase ASAP, granted it's a tourist town and there's lots of passing trade from people who come and go but I feel one of my strengths is exploiting those I have at least some reads on. I've taken this month very easy on the poker front so I'm eager to go in all guns blazing and I've never struggled with volume in the past so hopefully all goes well on this front.

-Work more off the table, hands in the air I've been slacking at this during this calendar year. I still have friends who play a lot of online and run stuff with them, but I didn't play much 100z at all and I could feel the difference. I actually won a decent chunk but I could tell just in the space of 6-8 months that the standard had got a lot tougher, regs I used to have tagged as v bad were playing a lot better and not that I'm the oracle but it felt like the average reg had just got a lot better. Granted 100z sometimes is still an absolute zoo but yeah, things do move quickly. I'd like to break into 10/20 as my main game as a mid term goal over the next few years and I need to stay sharp and keep questioning my strategies and how I can improve if I'm going to be able to hold my own in line ups compromised of some pretty strong regulars.

-Eat healthier (cook more)/exercise. I've become a bit of a potato health wise over the past 2ish years. Being in casinos all the time basically means you eat out loads, and food clock is just weird, where I was living in London the kitchen was always fairly busy and super small but since I'll be living on my own for the most part in Vegas I have time to cook whenever. I guess I'm a bit spurred on because around this time last year my parents were both seriously seriously ill (I'll save the details but v much life threatening for my mum and she's okay now!). They went on a massive health kick etc and I've been influenced by that to a reasonable extent whilst spending some time with them. I'm definitely making an effort to eat let processed food and just eat clean, ofc I'm sure I won't turn down the occasional degen plate of french toast but yeah, we're going to be making an active effort. I've always enjoyed cooking too and it's a really good life skill too! And I was super fit in my late teens so I plan to get back into running, place I'm at has a gym too so will try and work out as well. I also really want to go trailing/hiking at red rock too so that's definitely on the cards.

-Have chill time. I mentioned this a bit in the post above but I plan to give myself a lot more time to unwind away from my phone and PC. Just reading or listening/playing music. I mean I will still be re-watching all of Bojack Horseman again before season six comes out but aside from that I won't be watching much TV either. I guess another one is keep sleeping well, I know my body well enough to know that I function extremely poorly on little sleep and on an empty stomach, there's no reason why I should be heading into a session when I'm feeling groggy and awful, there's games 24/7 etc.

Anyway once I'm here for a bit I'll be sure to keep updating about how I'm finding things.

Went to put in a session at TCH in Austin today, rocked up and snap got a seat at the 1/3. Sat down with a bag and noticed no usual players, there are a couple of private rooms off to the side and I saw a lot of some of the usual players (including whales) playing an uncapped 5/5 round of each. I don't play PLO so I was stuck in a 1/3 1keff with a fair few people, I was basically the only pro at the table, some fish regs but yeh, a printable game I was happy to be in.

1/3

Old boy limps the BTN I make it 20 in the SB with 8c8d, BB unknown 30something asian chatting a lot of bollocks calls and the old boy calls.

(60) T75hhd

check check check

(60) 9h

I bet 40 the bb calls, old boy folds.

(140) 5x

I check he bets 60 and we pretty much neck break and he says good call ace hi and we just table. Think it's interesting to think about whats optimal 3W in this spot on flop and turn.

A few hands later and I open AhAs to 15 UTG1, the guy that tried to bluff me in the hand above peels UTG2 and some unknown in MP calls.

(49) KJ5rnbw

I bet 30, our friend to our left calls other guy folds.

(109) 6bdfd (we unblock the Axbdfd)

Could easily go bananas here but I just bet 75, he called pretty quick

(259) Kx

I thought for a long time about what to do, we could block bet, issue was I felt he would definitely spazz some freq and block bet calling doesnt seem appealing when we dont block any of the Kx. I could have picked a size like 150 too, with not having the Axbdfd I just decided to check and neck break most sizes, he'd already shown himself to bluff but QT and T9bdfd are probs main bluffs, issue is I feel he peels pre pretty wide so we run into Kx a decent chunk, granted that means we can also give him more Jx but yeah. Anyway it goes check check and obvs we win.

Within the hour stacks had been flying across the table and it was a pretty splashy game.

Fish reg limps UTG, fish reg over limps CO, I make it 25 on the BTN with AdQc, they both call. You know that saying "that's the pot calling the kettle black", well ignore pot and the black part these two were complete kettles and absolutely steaming. Both doing chunks and effectively aggro whales at this point.

(79) A54rnbw

Checks to me and I check back because given their aggro tendencies think xb is higher ev because barely anyone bluff raises this board even when steamed but will definitely stab on later streets when checked to imo.

(79) 5c bringing bdfd

Check, the CO wants to bet 60, we call, other folds.

(199) Qx

He bets 140 and because he's def wide enough to have considerable 5x here I decide to just hero, he snap says you're good and we win. I've got to say it feels weird being in a live environment where people actually bluff. London is literally nit city. After this I was looking over to this 5/5 and I asked the dealer if it was a private game, the dealer confirmed it was a private game and the fish reg (basically whale) in this hh goes, "nah I don't think it's a private game, they said I could take a seat whenever I wanted". I snarkly think to myself, well that's probably because you're a spot m9


Then there was some table talk and there was a disagreement over literally **** all about is being in a bomb pot mandatory, well this asian 20something and middle aged texan get into some kind of argument which escalates and then the texan goes "you're just some angry ****ing asian aren't you", asian guy replies "you're a ****ing racist", "well that's what you are isn't it, an angry ****ing asian". Anyway I'll save typing up this whole exchange but I was internally and externally wincing at what was going on. I did hear the insult "I don't know who touched you when you were a child but you have a lot of issues" from the texan which was something. The massage girls jaw was wide open during this whole exchange. It's just one of those weird spots because the asian guy was standing up for himself perfectly well and the texan guy was so full of pride and not wanting to lose face it felt kind of counter intuitive to say anything calling out the Texan because his lid would have likely completely flung off and then things will get blown out of proportion even more (game ruined blah blah), the dealer made a nice intervention and said "let's just try and be nice you guys" and myself and a couple of others were like yep I definitely agree.

Anyway whilst this Texas guy is bubbling there's two EP limps, he limps MP, and I make it 30 in LJ with ATcc, only he peels.

(70) A67rnbw

He checks I check (I don't always x top pair guys I promise).

(70) 8bdfd

He checks and I bet 25 to try and induce some spazz and just keep his range wide. He calls.

(120)3x

He checks I bet 100 and he tank calls off and aggressively flicks his cards into the muck.

Then I'm in the BB and the UTG player wants to put on a 25 dollar straddle, I learnt the hard way that you can straddle to any amount UTG in this gaff when I didn't have any singles and put two reds which I thought would stand as six until I heard "live ten, live ten straddle". Anyway he's put the 25 dollar straddle on and it folds to me and I have A5o in the BB, we're 525eff and I just decided to open rip, he goes "ahhh ****" and shows a deuce whilst mucking and I throw over a 5 and the table loves it.

Put in a session yesterday and thought I'd post some double board bomb pots.

There was some YouTube guy who I didn't really know called Asian Andy who's some IRL streamer person, he sat to my stone left and we were 2keff. I have barely studied bomb pots at all so wouldn't mind feedback or thoughts.

A6hh I started in bb 2k eff with Asian Andy - 15USD Bomb

(120) KQ4hhx
-------752hxs

Check check, someone bets 50, call, call Asian Andy call I call

(370) KQ49hhxh
-------7524hxss

He leads 250, I just rip for 1.7k. He says, I might make a donation and folds.

Felt denying eq for the bottom board was like super good when we have nuts on the top (which is still vunerable to board pairs). If he calls off we also have a freeroll to scoop too. Seems like denying eq and getting people to fold in these double board bomb pots is super good, so much so that I kinda think even being OOP and being able to have the betting lead in a lot of post spots is more advantageous than having position.

---

Was like we have Qc9x on CO - 15USD Bomb

(135) T42ccc
-------983ddd

Check check check, messer leads 25, we make it 150, a guy in MP who originally checked calls, messer calls

(585) T428cccc
-------9833dddx

Xxx

(585) J428Accccx
-------9833Jdddxx

MP bets 200, the messer who led the 25 tank folds, we snap and he shows KTcc top board so we chop and profit a little bit.

---

Had a normal hand vs a middle aged asian guy who had basically god ran and just had it for hours, then this happened.

Utg asian fish limps fish limps MP 6handed we iso CO 20 QsTx

Both call

(64) AJ5sdd

Check check check

(64) Ks

Check, 20, me 70, Utg Asian cold calls the 70, Mp folds

(224) 8s

He leads 250 we tank fold

It's a classic spot where a lot of people will justify to pay cus Qs blocker etc etc but the guy just always has it here and I wasn't in the mood to give him $250. Granted some portion of the population will bluff diamonds here but he just wasn't one of them. On the turn when he CC it's almost always FD for the most part and I was praying but alas, life goes on.

And as a parting comment I thought I'd bring up a situation that happened yesterday. I was playing and a fairly large older gentleman comes and sits down to my left. You know the sound people make whilst breathing whilst scuba diving, well I **** you not it was that loud and sounded very similar, I wasn't the only one affected either, people shuffled away from him and put on headphones etc. I was bored in this game and doing my money and it actually got to me. I didn't get frustrated at the table but I remember I got up, went outside and tilt texted a friend that this is legit insufferable. I've dealt with a lot of stuff at the table but this at the time felt on the harder side.

What's funny though is I came back, eventually struck up some really nice conversation with some people at the table, including the large older gentleman and this noise that 20 minutes before was driving me crazy, was still there but seemed to not annoy me at all. It's just a reminder that I guess we can always decide how much we let something affect us and often with a shift of our thoughts to something else (such as laughing/conversation) can really change how we think about a certain thing.

I was told a hilarious story by someone at the table which I thought I'd share with you all.

The guy told me he was in Chinatown in Austin a few years ago on the bus. Asian woman wants to come on the bus and has a live chicken with her. Driver goes “miss we don’t allow pets on the bus”. Woman goes “it’s not a pet, it’s food”. Driver says sorry I can’t let you on. Woman shuffles around and tries to come on again driver again goes “sorry as I just said no pets on the bus”. The woman gets off the bus, breaks the chickens neck and comes back on the bus “see? Food!”

Also what made it even more jokes is there was an Asian dealer at our table whilst the story was being told and she goes, to be fair it is food.

Played my last session in Austin today before I head off to Vegas.

An uncapped 5/5 started in the afternoon which initially was an extremely good game with chips flying right from the start.

There was one spot I witnessed where a fish opens to 25 in MP, there a call in the CO, the SB who's an Irish reg decides to call and the BB who's a fish reg makes it 150, the fish calls and the reg in the SB now backjacks for about 1.8k (he's only eff with the MP fish, the BB has less). The bb calls off for his 800, and fish in MP now tank calls off for 1.8k. (The SB winces a bit and peels the T for me to see (I was to his left and we were fairly chatty etc).

Board comes JT8ddx3d3s

The Fish who put in 1.8k in MP throws over Q9dd! The SB reg throws over TT and the BB has JJ! Obviously the whole table loses it's **** and this is ten minutes into the game. Ofc we all said to the fish "how unlucky are you, you flopped the nuts and even turned the flush and the board had to pair". He then goes "I knew exactly that one of you had TT and the other JJ."...


I had a v uncommon spot in live imo vs an asian whale who'd been bluffing and did it off bluffing in a huge pot in the 1/3 before this.

5/5

He opens to 20 in EP. 2k+eff we make it 80 in MP with AQo, he mutters "hm u play" and peels.

(170) KQ5rnbw

He checks I xb because of his tendencies

(170) 7x

He bets 325 , I have a pretty strong read that he's completely full of it here so peel. Ofc vs this size we don't need to hero much but yeh I was pretty certain. Personally I really struggled to believe he would size much of his value like this at all.

(920) Tx

He checks I snap xb and he mutters Ahi and we just table.

---

We were doing 25 dollar bomb pots every orbit.

I have QQ on the BTN

(225) Q84fd
-------T62fd

Another Irish reg bets 100, the fish who put in the 1.8k with Q9s now makes it 225 (I'm 2.2k eff with him). I actually decide to rip for 2.2k, after I saw this q9s call off from before and the fact he's stuck and his raise is obv never a bluff I felt he would definitely call off a large majority of his range. Reg folds and eventually he sigh calls off...

Can't remember the run outs because my heart was racing cus it was a 4.5k pot lolol. He turned over J6s for middle pair on the bottom and a flush draw on the top and it bricked out and we scooped a pretty big one.

As the game kept going all the "euro" regs were pretty much getting the sweets and an american reg and pretty big boss in general said that you should have to have some kind of texas license to play in the games and that euros shouldn't be allowed.

The game actually got progressively worse, some of the fish were winning and left and it ended up being one whale, 1.5ish spots and the rest regs and it just wasn't that appealing when I was 6keff. Granted none of the regs actually put the pressure on but in bomb pots you can get caged pretty hard and it's rough (game also just wasn't that good). I think the double board bomb pots are pretty fun in general and definitely keep the action flowing, can just be crazy sometimes and I'm not sure if I'll miss them in vegas or be happy to of left them behind, maybe a mixture of both.

All in all I didn't even put in that many hours this month because I was fairly committed to spending time with family and enjoying Austin whilst I can. In regards to TCH I think if I played PLO as well as NLH I definitely wouldn't be going to Vegas, I feel the NLH dries up a bit in traffic because there are NLH private games which take place in the casino which I wouldn't be able to get into and they take a lot of punters from the main casino floor games. Granted people have commented the action is pretty dry right now but I'd want a tiny bit more traffic to justify coming back and grinding in austin permanently. Like there's only really one NLH table a day which I can justify sitting in (today there was 2 but legit rare to see) (1/2 isn't worth it ofc). And 3 regs from ireland who are actually decent have just turned up to camp and when the player pool and games available are so small it makes a big difference to hourly when people like this are turning up.

I do really like the vibe of the room though, you have people pool hustling right next to the tables, there's a lot of banter, relaxed rules etc. People making random props, people talking **** etc. It's what a poker room should be imo and I was worried it would be really boring here in america because of differences in humour but I've been laughing a lot and people have been super friendly.

Anyway my flight is on Monday and I'm excited to put in some volume and updating the thread from Nevada.

Not sure if you've detailed your reasons for choosing Vegas (I've been following for a while but not super-closely)? In some ways Vegas might be the nut low for a poker pro to set up shop, but in other ways it still seems like a great place to be. I have a few friends who've grinded out there for a while, and I'm sure they'd be happy to pass along advice re. where to live/grind etc. Shoot me a pm if you're interested.

Enjoying the updates as always, gl on the move!

I didn’t give much detail, I heard from friends that games are good, there’s a ladder where you can climb stakes, no state income tax, good traffic, cool environment etc. And I’ll shoot you a pm for sure.

So I arrived here 3 days ago and the first day was spent going for sushi and drinks with friends from London. I then put in a couple sessions at bellagio 5/T. I’m not a big chip porn person but since this is a new chapter for the thread I’ll throw in a picture for good measure (and yes the 500 should be ontop..)



Games seem pretty soft, ofc small sample size but I feel pretty comfortable in the line ups. I spoke to a friend before coming here in regards to being unsure about how tough the 5/T is an he reassured me I’ll be fine and yeah I do feel more than fine regardless of results I definitely feel I can hold my own at bellagio 5/T when observing how certain regs play as well as there being a decent amount of fish.

After sessions I’ve been walking around and Vegas is honestly something else, I had an uncontrollable smile on my face as I walked around on my own, which for those of you that know me personally, basically never ever happens. I guess I’m a mixture of happy and grateful to be here, time to dig deep and work hard.

I’ll share some hands because why not. Earlier this morning I think I ran the best I’ve ever ran in a 20 min span in my career, stacking the same whale 3 times. I couldn’t help but laugh due to the absurdity. Anyway those hands are boring so won’t share. We did do some of it back later in the session

One guy posts we open AhQx to 40 in HJ Asian nit calls bb

(100) KT5hhs

I bet 70 he calls

(240) 7c

He checks I bet 300... he tanks and makes it 700 and we bin

Very much like my line but he had it init.

—-

Had another hand where reg opens 30 EP we 3b MP AsQx 100, he peels

(215) T42ssx

He checks I bet 70 he calls

(355) Kx

He checks we bet 280 he tank folds.

Obvs very std hand but was gonna go all the way with this one.

—-

Then we had a stupid spot where I open QQ 30 in HJ, co whale calls, btn fish calls and SB who’s Middle Aged Asian nit that I’m fairly sure has his headphones glued to his ears makes it 270 2keff, we shrug and decide to peel and the CO comes along for the rofls too.

(850) KJ9fd

Check I check co bets 550 Sb calls we fold

(1950) 6x

Check, co jams 1.1k and Sb tank folds, co has the old QTs, fairly sure Sb had aa/ak

—-

I open 66cx to 30 HJ, nit calls the CO and blinds call

(120) 876ccx

Check check I bet 100 and the nit makes it 340, this spot is honestly so stupid because the guy is as Case as anything, I was v close to folding but 1.7eff I peeled one, don’t really think we can fold but I was pretty certain he had a straight or a set extremely often

(800) 9h

I check he jams 1.4 zzz we fold and yeah he had flopped a straight

—-

After my session I walked through the bellagio, there had just been a small storm and the weather was a lot cooler so I walked around the fountains. The family wanted a picture (I’m a bad photography Ik) so I thought I’d share it here as well.



—-

So far I’m happy and everyone is really friendly, there’s something super nice about seeing tourists enjoying themselves on holiday as well. I’ll see if my view changes in 6 months time but for now it’s two big thumbs up from me

Hey man! Yay on the good start out there! Hard not to love life out there in Vegas!
Good luck, will be following along! Would love to hear more about some boring logistical stuff like living expenses, use of comps etc too, general life stuff you know?

+1 to this

You've mentioned before you have American residency (or citizenship?) so do you have to pay tax while you're there?

Have you got any plans to travel anywhere else in the US, be that to play or just to visit?

Thanks for the good luck wishes. And good to know, I will cover some of this in future posts.

Yep I have a green card so permanent residency, so I'll be paying taxes.

Good question haha, I definitely want to go to Colorado because it's stunning. Before I left in my family's living room the Smithsonian Channel was left on all day and I saw all these places (like Maine for example) which I'm now dying to go to. I want to go somewhere with a proper autumn and winter too because I'm still a Brit who likes the crisp cold weather haha. Also NYC is a must for me. I could walk around on my own there for hours every day.

Poker travel wise maybe Florida for some WPT or other tourney stuff. I'm kind of on the fence about how many mtts in general I'll play (e.g during WSOP and live trips). If Vegas suffices I imagine I'll largely play poker here and just spend time away as a holiday away from poker.

So it's been over a week since my last update and I've played everyday. Getting to know the pool 5/T a bit better day by day. Results have been very good. I'm most impressed with how much focus I've been giving to subtle things that occur, hands I'm not in, the mood of other people etc. I think when you're not playing A game in live poker it's actually easy to make a lot of mistakes without realising and as a result have an hourly way less than you expect it to be. Of course I'm in a new environment and very motivated but I'm hoping I can keep my levels of focus and discipline up past the initial "honeymoon period".

Had an interesting hand one of the first days I got here.

Folds to SB who's a presumed reg (I think it's actually someone on twitter/2p2 but wasn't 100% sure). He opens 30 we 3b the BB with KQcc to 100, he 4bs to 270 and 1.5keff we peel.

(540) 654hhc

He checks we xb

(540) 6x

He checks we bet 220

(980) Qx

He checks we jam for 1k and he tank calls and we scoop.

---

Had a couple spots today vs the same villain who's a super nice asian man.

It's our first hand in the main game and we open QcQh to 30 EP, the asian man who's generally been fairly nitty 3b to 120, 1.5eff we peel.

(255) T33ddx

I check he bets 180 we call

(615) Jx

I check he bets 440 and we fold.

We're fairly jovial and after my fold I smile and him and say ahh I'm such a nit and he goes "sometimes it's good to be a nit".

---

A few hands later a messer limps the HJ, we iso the SB with JJ to 50, the same villain 3bs the bb to 150, limper folds and I toy between 4b and peel, vs more aggro villains I would 4b but we decide to peel.

(310) T94rnbw

I check he bets 200, we roll our eyes internally and think about deja vu and call

(710) Tbdfd

I check he tank checks

(710) 5x

I check and he bets 600...

I've played with him on most days and granted a lot of overpairs will xb turn in his shoes, even though from a theoretical standpoint his river size is pretty decent once we check river I just felt with his value he'd size smaller and he's just picked a **** off sizing with his AK/AQ type holding, also the chat we had a few hands before saying I'm such a nit made me feel he would try and get me to fold again. I shrug and put the chips in and he says "you got me this time", a nice thing to hear

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I had an interesting hand a couple days ago too.

Whale limps EP I iso KK to 50 in MP, the blinds call (SB is a fish) and the whale calls

(200) T93rnbw

The blinds check and the whale leads 200 playing just over 1k, I was actually really unsure since he had done very little leading prior to this hand, I just decide to call also because we'll v likely be able to play for stacks vs him anyway, the sb now also calls..

(800) 2bdfd

Sb checks, the whale now checks and obvs we now have the green light and make it 550, the SB snaps and he'd been chasing draws crazy wide in every spot for the entire session, obvs he can have Tx but v easily QJ too, the whale shrug folds (fwiw I think he never ever folds top pair here which must've meant he led some mergy stuff).

(1900) Ax

The SB checks and I expect him to lead when improved here a lot with his AT region, I jam for 700 because he's a fish and he tilt folds what I very much presume is QJ.

---

Someone posts and I open QQ UTG to 40, a nit calls EP, fish reg im MP calls and blinds call.

(200) T85rnbw

The blinds check and I see the fish reg twitching so I go for the sneak attack and check, the nit checks and the fish reg bets 60, the bb now makes it 325, he's wearing a pokerstars hat and hasn't moved a chip since I've sat down (he has around 3k), I make a pretty quick fold and the fish reg folds.

---

We Open AdKx to 30 in CO, a fish calls the SB.

(70) A66hhd

He checks we bet 20 he calls

(110) Jd

He checks we bet 80 he calls

(270) 5d

He leads 300 and with Ad blocker I don't have enough info on him being a nit to fold here, fish routinely bluff frontdoor fd here cus there's no other way for them to win the hand init. We eventually put it in and get shown the A6ss, never losing sleep over this one when we have the Ad, cuts combos down loads, I only think his made boats are gonna slowplay flop and turn this way and his trips that need prot will raise at some point.

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Had a stupid hand table starting one morning as well...

Aggro reg opens 40 CO, fish reg calls SB, we call bb 96dd

(120) J65dhh

xxx

(120) Kd

Check I check reg bets 80, SB calls I call

(360) 3d

The fish reg wants to lead for 70, I make it 300, the reg in the CO now makes it 1.1k, the fish reg now rejams, we obv fold the reg snaps with A2dd, the fish reg wanted to rejam with 78dd here? Wasn't even considering call the regs 3b because it's gonna be the goods everytime (especially with the SB in the hand).

---

I could post more hands but don't want it to be hand overload.

I might need a bit more time to comment on living expenses but I'll make some brief comments here. Luckily comps from playing basically freeroll the meal I have out, if you eat out all the time in Vegas you're going to bleed money. One morning I was walking around the casino smiling, stopped for a orange juice and pain au chocolat, 11 dollars. It was v good ofc but this isn't an everyday thing, let alone every week. Especially when juice is free at the table. After playing a session on my birthday (woop I'm 23) I celebrated with a Nutella Crepe, 14 dollars (arguably worth it, sounds like madness but yeah). I did a big food shop online so am eating healthily in the morning and have stuff to snack on when I come home. I'm here for work not a holiday so want to curb the silly spending when I can.

An interesting debate I'm having with myself is in regards to if I get a car. Currently I'm spending 15usd a day on ubers, 450 a month. I need to run some numbers on if I lease a car or buy then insurance, then running it, then what if something goes wrong. Ofc I can afford car payments and stuff it's just another factor. A car would give me more freedom to do certain errands, drive certain places etc but at least for now my head is down and I'm focused on grinding. Maybe in 2-3 months I might get one, I still need to do some research. Property in Vegas is relatively cheap, I like living on my own so I'm paying a bit more, but I have a two bedroom/two bathroom place near the strip so when friends come over they can have a place to stay. It has a gym/pool etc and location is great, when the weather is cooler I can easily walk to Bellagio in sub 20 minutes. I'm paying 1200/mo. And because I got it through friends there's no deposit or handing 6 months over etc. One month notice etc etc.

As a closing note I'd just like to put it out there that I'm so grateful to be here and to be able to play poker as a job. I've said it before I'm sure but I legitimately get to wake up whenever I want and play cards for money, I'm so content doing it and the discussions I have with people (both serious and funny) I find incredibly valuable. There's of course been a lot of dark times, lonely journeys home, internal questioning, unhappy family, **** ups etc along the way but we've got this far and have no plans on stopping.

Happy birthday, good to see things are going well for you out there.

Do the casinos charge for parking? I think getting a car has to be life +EV even if it ends up being slightly more expensive than getting an Uber everywhere. Providing you don't buy an absolute pos car you'd obviously get some % back on the eventual resale and it makes everyday life significantly easier. I spent 6 weeks in the US getting Lyfts most day and was shocked when I totalled it up and I'd spent ~800usd, those small journeys really add up over time.

great thread OP, happy that you have found happiness in what you do!

Thanks Yeah I will hold out on a car for a few months, mainly because when it gets cooler (Sept onwards) I'll be walking to and from work and wont be spending anything on ubers. If the way my lifestyle is means I suddenly need to get around more then so be it and I'll lease or buy one.

Glad you enjoy the thread and thanks Currently just bought a digital piano and am spending a bit of money turning the place into more of a home, plants/lamps/shelves/art/home stuff etc. I really like coming back to a place I feel I can relax in so they'll be some initial expense there but it's definitely worth it in my eyes. I bought a laptop back in Austin and am considering having a set up with desk/monitor too as well. Right now I'm just using my laptop on the kitchen table but I have some space in my room for a desk.

Anyway poker is poker, I've never been a massive one for poker updates in this thread but will continue to post them when I feel like it, I've always enjoyed writing about my general thoughts the most and I'm sure they'll be a post like that in the near future.

So standard day for me, at the Bellagio playing 5/T. The game I'm in is okay, it's a pretty friendly jovial table in general, there's a decent amount of conversation etc.

There's a MAWG who's wearing blinged out chains and a watch, he's not a whale but definitely a pretty clear spot who will slowly do it off. There was a spot between him and a reg-thing (20something guy in hoodie and hat who covers mouth during the hand etc). Basically the situation is on the turn and the action is on the reg in position. The spot is covering cards with his hands and from the regs position you can't see his chips. The reg asks "how much does he have". There's a pause, the dealer goes and says around 700, I'm next to the spot and say yeah 650-700. Then the reg goes "doesn't his stack have to be visible", the spot then goes, (ready for cringe), "I'm oldschool kid I don't do that kind of stuff", at this point I say again yeah its 650ish, dealer says same thing. The reg then goes "I'm fine waiting". Like I kind of internally roll my eyes at this, yes the stack has to be visible but imo vs a spot this is the completely wrong hill to die on, the reg could have stood up and easily seen but he stayed sat down waiting. Obvs the spot now loses his marbles as expected. Like this is a situation where imo you just want to keep the fish happy, I get visible chips is a somewhat fundamental aspect of live poker, but when a dealer and a player are confirming it and you could just stand up and see I just keep the fish happy and do my best to reduce tension because conflict is generally pretty bad for a poker game. A lot of people get up and leave etc because uncomfortable. Anyway after this whale angrily says alright how much do you want to bet here you go here's my stack and what happens in the hh is irrelevant.

Anyway the point is internally as I said I was eye rolling and I guess a bit annoyed at the reg for not being that polite in this spot. Like there's a way you can ask if you really want to but he just came across as quite arrogant and just didn't understand the social subtleties of the situation. I kinda have these internal "ah this guy is such a goblin" thoughts, and I shouldn't really because I can't control how other people act at the table and I should focus on myself but it's just frustrating when your ev can potentially be hurt by a reg just wanting to be in control. Just to clarify it was far more the way he dealt with the situation than just the act of asking to see.

So yeah in the back of my mind I've made a fairly big character judgement about this reg, likely overly tainted due to my saltiness at having the spot potentially leave. I wasn't super frustrated at all it was more internal sigh, I'm just clarifying my thoughts with quite a lot of detail for the purpose of the story.

So there's an old man (80ish) in between me and the reg, he's one of the sweetest people I've met. The man has quite a frail voice asks for a food runner and me and the reg help him to get a menu. The man is looking through the menu and the reg tells him quietly that he has lots of comps and the man can get whatever he wants. The man orders a fruit platter from the room service menu and it arrives and him and the reg share it. I think what made it ridiculously special was that the reg sought no validation or wanted to let others know what he did (I very much doubt he realised I overheard) and imo this is so incredibly rare to see. This person who 20 mins earlier I internally labeled as a goblin did one of the nicest gestures I've perhaps ever seen at a poker table. I was chatting to the old man next to me and someone flopped a set of deuces, and he told me the time he had quad deuces, someone had a flush and the other person had a boat and he tripled up and how he'll never forget that hand, amongst other stories, we continue to talk and smile and he then whispers in my ear and asks me if I'd like some fruit and honestly my heart melted. I'm a bit emotionally stunted at times but witnessing this whole encounter made me radiate inside with joy. Poker rooms can be weird places at time, you see a lot of crazy stuff happen, you see people get angry, people get upset, people troll, people needling etc. But you still do see friendly people, genuine conversation, lots of laughs and gestures such as the above.

I think it's easy to negatively label people and I (as shown above) fall into that trap fairly often. But at the end of the day, we're all human, we all have our flaws. And a lot of that negative labeling is done to largely try and increase our own self worth. I know over the past years I've started giving people the benefit of the doubt more and trying to see the good in them (again I'm not perfect but I've improved leaps and bounds vs my cynical 17yo self). I think today for me was just another reminder that acts of human kindness go a long way and that I think the large majority of people at their core are good. We all have a story, a life and shortcomings but the world is such a better place when we try and get along instead of picking fights for the sake of argument.

10/10 story, would read again

I've never really been an anxious person. I've always been one of those people that can get to sleep with out any thoughts on their mind. As I've said in previous posts this has pro's and cons, it reduces the emotional volatility in my life so generally things are less stressful but that lack of (especially negative) emotional volatility might lead to me questioning some of my actions to a lesser extent and just sweeping problems under the carpet. I've always been a major internalizer of my emotions and problems. I don't really rely on anyone to talk to about a lot of what I go through, come to think of it, the only time I really pause for thought about my life is when I write this blog. I'm not a massive complainer either, rarely do I ***** or moan to people about how things are, which has definitely led to some of my non poker friends to assume my life is far easier than it actually is but that's besides the point.

Some of you might interpret what is about to follow as some weird cry for help or whatever but it's not really the case. I'm not sad at all, I actually feel extremely blessed to be able to wake up everyday and play poker as my job, I don't feel I have to prove anything to anyone and I'm very happy to live life on my terms. I guess right now I'm caught in a bit of a crosswind, I've largely been on my own since arriving in Vegas a month ago, I have friends visiting for a long time later this year but for now I guess I've felt a tiny bit isolated, friendships with regs is a tough one, the pool I'm in is pretty small and whilst I've struck up friendly conversation I want to keep my strategy and thoughts fairly close to my chest since I feel I'm one of the better players and on top of that I already have a very strong network from which I can study/learn/improve from. On the flip side whilst I have a good group of friends from London when it comes to things like relationships I've always been afraid of commitment and just very uneasy and unsure about things. I guess it's this kind of mindset that for a long time I've really wanted to just focus on myself and ensure I'm successful, I'm not even saying this is the rational mindset because there is definitely some ev to be gained from a relationship which would help my work which I'm not realising right now.

I guess the best way of putting where I'm at right now is I'm just floating on the lazy river, I'm not having a bad time, I'm just very content and I'm not sure what I'll do once I get off. Life right now is kind of groundhog day-like. It's just wake up, chill out for a bit, go play poker and print the ev and go home and chat to friends, or chill, for example I'm setting an alarm to watch the gunners spurs game tomorrow morning (feels super weird watching football in the early morning haha).

There's not an exact purpose for this post and it's very much a ramble but I just felt like throwing some stuff on a page. I think to some extent we all want to externally give off the impression that things are under control but life is just really hard, there's so many weird and unusual scenarios and things to consider. I generally try and ignore a lot of things and just focus on a few things I enjoy. I hope you're all well and I'll probs either type up some interesting poker situations or record some stories in upcoming posts.

Been away for a bit so great to come back and see how far you've come and you're now in Vegas!

I wouldn't worry about feeling like you're floating along, I think a lot of people around our stage in life feel like that when they're building their future. A lot of life is building something for your future, delaying some things for when you're in a stronger position.

Regarding stuff like relationships, I think these things just happen when they happen, often out of nowhere. I think focusing on yourself and setting yourself up for your future is all you need to worry about, you can always reevaluate your plans every 6 months or a year and see if you want to switch your focus.

Glad to be back and following!

Looks like you've settled in and the excitement of the new is starting to wear off. Completely normal that you'd start feeling this way.
Maybe being from London also effects your ability to connect with people in the States. I mean,I know so many things bond Americans and Britts but there must be plenty of differences to make everything seem pretty foreign at times. Like why do these bloody Americans call it soccer!
Find interests outside of poker?

Well welcome back and thanks for posting

And I agree they often come out of nowhere and I'm not actively looking for one right now, I'm fairly content being by myself and focusing on what I have to focus on right now. I think consistent reevaluation is important and it's a sidelined reason why I've always updated this blog on a fairly regular basis. I always find it easier to question myself and review things when I'm writing something down instead of internally evaluating, it also offers feedback from others like yourself which I'm very much grateful for.



I think it does a tiny bit, I felt very comfortable playing in London etc. That being said I've got comfortable with the games here and do have people I chat to fairly often at the table but there are differences. A lot of people watch NFL here ofc, I don't. No one here really watches (actual) football, hard for me to go to a bar and watch it and chat to people there when some of the games kick off between 4-6am

I think finding interests out of poker is an important one, I probably need to start pursuing some hobbies which get me out of the house a bit more, right now I'm kind of just cooking and playing piano and chess which I just do at home, there's a gym and pool where I live to so don't need to go far for that. I was thinking of signing up for a 5k at some point to stop being an absolute potato. I think I need to do a bit more stuff besides poker to get me out of the house and meet new people and a car is definitely good for that. The good news is I chat with my friends from London on a daily basis and will see them soon, my family is coming end of this month too so we'll do some stuff together, nice food/hikes etc.

Action has been pretty reasonable as of late. Been in a lot of 5/T games where I'm the only pro so even if they're not amazing they're always very printable. I've been studying a lot more too and just being proactive about wanting to improve. I still very much enjoy poker as much as I ever have, and I know this isn't always the case as the years tick by so I do want to dedicate a lot of my time to improving so in the coming years I'm hopefully able to play mid-high stakes cash. I actually don't have much desire at all to play tournaments right now. One reason being I think a lot of the reg population has improved a fair bit. There's a lot more information out there and I'm definitely behind the curve. Also with where my hourly is in cash it doesn't make much financial sense to play tournaments unless they're over 1k and at the 1100/1600+ level is where you see a lot more people who have a clue. As I stated previously I didn't get into poker for the glory, or the pokernews articles or the trophies, I got in it for the independence merged with the intellectual and mental stimulation. If I can happily squirrel away at cash for 8 years and then drop my tools and have my name not come up on google when it's typed in I'll actually be pretty happy.

Plans for the near future are to continue playing more Bellagio 5/T, maybe in the coming months start sitting in the Wynn 5/T uncapped game a bit and then maybe within the next year some T/20. I guess I've largely always downplayed my ability and underrated myself a bit (lack of confidence has always been an issue for me since childhood). It's always been close friends who have I guess reminded me that they'd definitely take action of me in bigger games which is some reassurance. Anyway there's still lots I can improve at and it's important to never feel too comfortable in poker. I do have some funny stories which I'll have to share at some point but I'll save them for another time.

I found that being active, going to the gym etc made a HUGE difference for me. I'm not an expert but the endorphins, fitness levels etc are all good. I find there is a noticeable difference in my mood etc after having been in the gym, especially if I've been at my desk all day otherwise.

Definitely agree with you there, in my sixth form at school I used to go for long distance runs at 6am on a Sunday, after the exercise I felt in such a good headspace to take on the rest of the day.

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Well this is likely going to be one of the more personal things I've shared on the blog but it happened today and I guess I just felt an internal need to share it. Just to preface with the following, I've played live for nearly 3k hours, spent a good 2k+ hours gaming where obviously you get all kinds of **** hurled at you. Id say 99.9% of stuff goes completely over my head, there's only one prior moment in live poker where I got a bit annoyed at a situation before today and it was when some old guy was saying I cheated him out of 500 quid which was just not the case, I didn't like it because he was basically lying about what happened to other people in the casino and I felt my reputation and integrity suffered due to him fabricating what actually happened. Anyway you can find what went down in a post from earlier this year if you're interested.

So I turn up today and get in a game. There's the same few familiar faces, one of them being a guy who's maybe late 40s and runs a business locally and is very successful, he's not a whale but definitely a losing player in the game. He's quite loud and open, always getting massages and flirting with massage girls/waitresses, the occasional outlandish joke, will have an unlit cigar in his mouth sometimes, I have no major issues with this kind of stuff tbh but it's just to set the scene about who this guy is.

So I'm in a hand within the first five minutes of sitting down, I take no more than 15 seconds on the river and he goes "Harry Potter it's on you there's nothing in the pot", now this ofc I didn't care about at all, actually found it quite funny, I acted and life goes on. Then I'm in a pot where HJ reg opens 30 I 3b 88 in CO to 100, he peels, comes JT7rnbw xx turn is a 9rnbw and the reg bets 100, I call, river comes a 3 and the reg checks, I take no more than 10 seconds debating a river size and the guy is just rustling his chips looking frustrated, anyway eventually the hand is over.

Again I understand the importance of acting quickly in a poker game, I think I take slightly more than the average person but I very rarely get many complaints or people getting annoyed. Anyway after the hand the guy shakes my hand and says I'm X, what's your name? I reply Tom, he goes nice to meet you Tom. You seem like a good guy, you seem to look after yourself, good head on your shoulders, polite, have probably come from a good family, but... when you take long amounts of time in hands it makes me want to hurt you in multiple ways. I was taken aback by this and just semi mumbled out, oh okay. He then quickly asks me "what does your dad do for work", versus some people I would try and shut this kind of stuff down but again he's a bit of a spot and I try and avoid confrontation and not be rude when I can so I replied "he worked in banking/finance". "So a no nonsense kind of guy then", I reply with a "yeah pretty much", he then goes "what would your dad feel if he was me right now". Again I'm taken aback by the absurdity of the scenario and I eventually stutter out "I imagine he would tell me to act faster with my decisions", he then goes "obviously, but like how would he be in this situation. I'm taken aback for like 20 seconds and he goes, "don't worry I'll give you some time", this is me now thinking oh wow hopefully he just forgets about this a moves on.

Now to some of you reading this you might be thinking what's the big deal etc. But from as young as I can remember to around the age of 13/14 I was consistently verbally abused by my father (pretty much a weekly basis), I was always told how useless I was, how I was an idiot, I would get scalded with abuse over even things like my shoelace being untied, or my earphones being tangled, a grass stain on my jeans etc. There was one time where we were having a roast on Sunday and I must've been around 6 years old and I spilled a tiny drop of gravy on a dining room chair and he went completely insane, like seeing red and hurling abuse. Even having to type these up is painful enough. These experiences are very much part of the reason I can't remember the last time I've been in an argument, why I haven't raised my voice at anyone in maybe 10+ years and why I internalize a lot of the difficult times I go through, no one at that time was there for me, my mum didn't try and step in and say anything or be there for me, I just absorbed it all and never responded or got angry when I was receiving the abuse, I just went into a shell and stayed quiet.

Anyway the main point of this all is even having to think about how my Dad would be in a situation like this concerning me was already giving me some PTSD back to my childhood. I was already feeling extremely uncomfortable and almost a bit locked in, now a couple minutes go by and he looks at me and goes "so have you had a think", I stutter out "I imagine he would be annoyed", and he goes "Of course he would, what kinda stuff would he say". Obviously at this stage nothing is coming out, I remember looking at the dealer and she had a very "what the actual ****" face on. There's a pause and then he raises his voice a bit and goes "Would he not tell you to be a man instead of a child and realise that you're disrespecting peoples time by taking so long?....Would he not tell you to not only think about yourself and realise there are other people around you", basically he continued for a bit and then said "that's enough for today, we'll continue with this tomorrow". I didn't really say much and my head was spinning a bit and I felt a bit sick really, I mentioned in a relatively recent post that I can't remember the last time I cried, now I didn't cry or anything but I definitely felt like I wanted to. The thing is with this kind of stuff is that I'm not really sure how it's perceived from the outside, the dealer looked pretty disgusted but a couple other guys were clearly bum licking him over this and making jokes about it (which were 100% not at him).

The point of this post wasn't to throw this guy under the bus, is he a knob? Sure, he's a knob. But he's not an utter scumbag, I imagine if he knew what my reaction would be to this situation he would have never gone down that exact avenue. Again I'm definitely a stark minority as I'm sure many people wouldn't have been affected the way I was. Like after this whole encounter I was in no mental space to play poker, I felt a bit dizzy and just not having much focus. I let 10 minutes go by to see if it goes away but it doesn't, the guy actually then gets effectively stacked and leaves and I then pick up 5 minutes later and just go home only playing two hours for the day.

I guess today reminded me that I obviously still have some issues, I mean I knew I did anyway but there's nothing like having some PTSD-esque attack to bring them to the forefront. The thing is with the way by life has been, I guess I've subconsciously avoided these scenarios by not surrounding myself with hot heads and generally never annoying people to the extent where they lash out at me. I mean those of you that know me personally are aware I'm fairly mild mannered, I might crack an occasional joke or two but I don't do anything to stir up confrontation or get into arguments. I think that's a fairly GTO strat for life anyway since most arguments are extremely pointless but yeah. Even when I got home I felt very uncomfortable still and a bit in shock. I mean it's without question I'll see him likely tomorrow but if he brings up a similar discussion line I'll just say I don't want to talk about that kind of stuff and hopefully we can just leave it there.

I guess I just feel a bit uneasy, it's not like I've been held up at knifepoint and mugged or had someone scream in my face yet this is the most I've been emotionally effected by something in a long long time (part of me feels a bit silly saying that but it's true, like I can lose for 2.5 months straight in poker and not be annoyed but this small encounter legit completely ****ed me for the entire day). I guess I just can't deal with confrontation towards me even in tiny ways which is why I've molded myself into who I am today. I do feel though that I can definitely deal with constructive criticism, I think it's the main reason why I'm still in poker today tbh, if I didn't listen to anyone when they tell me I was making mistakes or doing something wrong I would 100% be skint, I just really can't deal with shouting or abuse, it literally makes me feel like I shrink into myself and am defenceless. I don't really know what to do or say but I kind of just wanted to get this off my chest and share it on the blog.

I guess I'll end on a sentiment I shared in a recent post, we all have our individual struggles, the things we're insecure about, the bad moments we've been through. I do genuinely think it's important to try and look for the good in people and even in periods of bad behavior a lot of people have their own issue's. We all have bad days and ofc we can't excuse every bit of bad behavior, there are definitely toxic people out there. I guess what I'm trying to say is we don't know what other people have gone through, whether that be strangers or even some close friends and I think it's important to keep this in mind when interacting with others, I think remembering this allows one to come across in communication from an angle of respectfulness and kindness more often.

Hey man, thanks for taking the time and writing that up, it can’t have been easy. Sorry you had to put up with that, some people are just arseholes and cannot comprehend other people’s life experiences and how what they say might affect people differently.

I’m glad you feel you can talk freely here and I’m sure everyone here is behind you and here if you want to talk more.