Following after reading you went to GR for Art Prize. Born and raised in GR, even though living in Chicago now....gl!

I stopped posting because I was thinking maybe this thread wouldn't be such an interesting read. Someone told me that's not what I should be worrying about, so I guess I'll continue. I'll think of it as a journal, more, and if it interests anyone, cool, and if it doesn't, at least it will be a focusing ground for my goals.

So my read on the "new thoughtful player" coming to my game was *totally* wrong. He's a total loose fish. I think I let my mubs convince me that anyone who is aggressive and scaring me out of pots, and playing hands like low suited connectors for raises is a skilled lag soul-reading everyone, when really they're usually just fishy lags.

Got my first live cash game royal flush today.

Haven't been doing very well with regard to my "mensa" routine. I find it difficult to form good habits, but I've also been trying to help the gf deal with the immense stress she's facing at work, school and her caretaking responsibilities, and it takes energy to do that.

I DID successfully cut excessive sugar from my diet for the month of october! Now the gf is joining me this month, though I'm letting myself snack a little more than last month. She's doing pretty good. Going to keep working at it.

For a while I was trying to meditate daily but that tapered off, though exercise has been off and on. Nutrition, aside from cutting sugar, has been kinda crummy. Sleep has been okay...for a while I was waking up at 11 am-noon, but that has moved back to being up till 9 am, waking up at 5 pm. Not necessarily the greatest...I like being up during the day before poker starts. Activity-wise, I have not been reading, but I have started up playing guitar again, and even did a little project for someone online, so that was cool.

I still need to cut down my internet activity. I think I may actually be addicted to it, as just a repeated ping of novelty into my brain. On the other hand, if I replaced every visit to Reddit with a detailed think-through of a hand history on LLSNL, I'd be on the right track.

best of luck, great thread title!

Yeh, dont stop posting mate put it all down in here

Gl. Yeah don't be afraid of 1/2 lags. If they were good they wouldn't be raising trash when they are too shallow and have no FE.

That said pay attention to how they play postflop. Especially pay attention to how thinly they valuebet. You should find that most bad lags hardly valuebet at all which means it's often correct to call pretty light because they are polarized so often. Especially when they make large river bets. Bad lags like to make nonsensical bombs otr and you can often call with 3rd pair because you know they would not valuebet tpgk like that.

Well, I felt tired and kinda crappy today but went to poker anyway, ended up losing 200. Sad part is that it felt like a losing night after the first 80 or so, then I lost 60 on a hand I popped preflop and C-bet against one opponent on a horrible board for c-betting. He called and I c/f turn. Then I bled down to 30 and started shoving. On my last hand, I literally just looked at one card, it was a king and I had 29 5-handed, so I shoved, got called by AQ and AK in the blinds, lol.

I will be the first to admit I probably shouldn't have gone, and the dynamic of the game at this location is changing to possibly be less profitable (or maybe I've started playing looser. I used to play super tight and moderately aggressive, but I think I've been getting impatient lately.)

Haven't meditated formally in quite a while, I should do that.

Have been burning through a book of classical guitar etudes! Quite a lot of fun.

I will basically be taking the next week off poker due to bro and his wife coming for Thanksgiving a week early and having associated events, and feeling kinda sickish. I should use the time to really push myself to reach the acronym goal daily.

GL sir.
I haven't been over to play in your location for a while.
I'll have to stop by to lower that winrate

Heh, well, you know who is still doing WAY better than I am. I've got a loooooong way to go.

As long as you can learn from that experience it's not a total loss. Poker players are stubborn people and won't believe things like "feeling bad makes you play bad" until they see for themselves.

As soon as you catch yourself spewing, things like making bad plays but also not topping up your stack, you have to ask yourself if this game is worth playing in your state.

Quitting effectively is an enormous source of profit. Think about it, 1/2 players are idiots. You are already crushing them in the strategy department (Not that there isn't room to improve, but...) Playing when they shouldn't, chasing losses, being unable to quit while tilting, grinding a short stack down to nothing, those are things fish do as well. Every one of those habits you reduce or eliminate is profit in a game where there really isn't a whole lot more profit available.

So I was sick for a friggin week and only played again yesterday.

I played one hand that is significant, for me.

Villain is a pretty aggro in the straddle, raises at least 1/4 of the time. Most recently he had popped it up against limpers with a small pocket pair. I'm in BB, with pocket 8's, and he has straddled. Two limpers to me, I complete the straddle (don't want to play a big pot out of position with 88), and he pops it up the pot (8 bb's on top). Folds to me, and I figure there's a pretty good chance I'm good here. He's got about 35 bb behind, so it's shove or fold, and I feel like I really can't fold here. My mubs is kicking in, but I remind myself that he only has a pocket pair 1 out of every 17 hands, and that he has a pocket pair better than mine more like 1 out of 35 hands, and further, that he has proved he will raise with hands that are behind mine.

So after tanking (I know for most of you this would be an instant decision), I shove. He shrugs and calls, and I say twice? He says sure, we flip and he has AQo. I say, "or we could just chop right now. Do you want to just chop right now?" He agrees, and we chop.

I know that I gave up equity. I was thinking of it as a coin toss, when I know that it's really 55/45 and I should be running it all day, especially considering that the rake is going to be taken either way.

But it was my first day back after two weeks of not playing, I'd already had three pots where I ran it once, and I lost two of them (one of them to a 4-outer with only one card to come), and I've been running not the greatest lately. Also I felt like I could pick a better spot to get all in and actually run it.

Is there any merit to the thought that people might be more willing to get all in against me with mediocre hands preflop, if they know I might just chop it up without them having to worry?

One player said it spoiled the fun of the game, and he's a gambler, so I should probably never do it again...have to keep the customers entertained.

Yes, that's terrible. You should play lower if available or not at all.

Do you not include "realize your mistake and correct it next time" as an option? I'm already halfway there--I posted it, knowing it was a mistake.

I'm not going to defend my in-play decision as being *good*, but I'm not going to give up just because I made a mistake.

I think your evaluation of the chop decision as a mistake is correct. The play was correct and you got what you probably were hoping for. (other than him folding the 35 BB behind) Seems to me like you may not be properly rolled whatsoever to play right now. The earlier post you said something about bleeding all the way down to 29 dollars and essentially blind-shipping. That is lighting money on fire any way you look at it. You live at home and can realistically cut your living expenses down to ~400/month if you save money on food and cut luxuries. Working a **** job for 25-30 hours a week can net you almost a grand a month depending on pay. If my math is correct, you could save up 2,000 for a roll by April. That would be sufficient to play 1/2 profitably and without the "scared-money/chopping with 8's" factor. All just my opinion of course. Good luck either way.

Trust me, I am adequately rolled. I wouldn't have quit my job if I wasn't. And I've built more since I quit. My monthly "nut" is less than 400. I'm a life nit.

Being under-rolled can be a cause of wanting to avoid variance...but it's not the only cause.

Thing is though, now that I think of it, it's true that I'm *used* to playing under-rolled. So even though I am now well-rolled, I still have risk aversion. But I also have natural risk-aversion, simply as part of my personality. I have to work to overcome that.

You're basically free rolling yourself there. It's even worse than "just giving up equity"

Definitely +1 to sounding like you are underrolled if you can't flip for 35bb. I mean that's one of the worst cases I've heard.

Bankrolls are not just math they are a mindset. Maybe you calculate your risk of ruin using your data and it says you have a 2% risk of ruin with 2000bb and that sounds good to you. But if you get scared and change your play if you drop to 1500bb, then your bankroll is actually 500bb.

One thing that helped me when my roll was short was having a decent portion of it in cash. Maybe you have a bad session and you go home and you look at your money and you think "what the heck am I worried about?" It sounds stupid but it does work.

I don't see how it's worse than "giving up equity"...giving up equity is exactly what it is. If the pot was a total 250 dollars, and I was 55 percent to win, 45 percent to lose, then by chopping, I basically am giving up any equity that is over 50 percent, right? So I willingly gave up 12.5 dollars, that hand.

I agree that it's very bad, and I don't plan on doing it again...but I was already a bit scared money that night because I wasn't back in the swing of things. It was my first night back after 2 weeks of not playing, and I didn't feel comfortable yet.

Amen. That's definitely something I need to keep in mind.

I have a very large percent of my roll in cash. I don't know whether it really helps. Hard to say.

***

Meanwhile, I'm starting to feel like I'm getting back in the swing of things, but I'm still having trouble maintaining focus at the table. I don't know what the best solution is--I don't want to resort to ADD medication. But I feel like my brain just runs everywhere sometimes, and it's difficult for me to even remember what I'm supposed to be focusing on. I may have to get adderall in the end.

I can't definitively say whether listening to music helps. I think it may keep me from getting caught up in what people are talking about, but it can also distract from the bets and game itself.

Tonight my goal is to keep count of the pot, every single pot that happens. I think I sadly do not do this very well, and often my bet sizes end up being too small (though still far superior to those of my opponents), and this shows in the hand histories that I post. It's a huge, huge flaw and it's as basic as it gets imo. Need to fix it ASAP.

Are yoga-ing, meditating, anything physical to keep your brain steady?

It's weird since you seem fairly solid that you're having trouble counting pots. Are you talking about to-the-dollar counting or +/- a few bucks?

So, today I was going to set a goal of being aware of it, right? I would say that for less than 10 of the pots, I was aware of the to-the-dollar amount. For maybe another 20 pots, I was generally aware. And for the rest of the pots (~70-80), I was either barely aware, or not at all aware, by the end of the hand. Maybe I did better than that and I just don't remember it. But I did pretty horribly.

I am capable of thinking "okay, this pot I'm going to pay attention", and then totally spacing out before the turn even comes. If I end up talking to someone, that distracts me totally. If I glance up at the television, that distracts me totally. Any one little distraction to cut me off from full attention to the hand, and I'm *gone*. La la land.

Meditation is an option for me, I just don't make myself do it on a daily basis. It's the same way with yoga and exercise. On a "good standard" day, I do 50 pushups and 50 crunches. I started out really well when I started this thread, but I need to figure out some way to make myself stick with it.

Part of the thing is that my girlfriend has such an incredibly stressful life that I drain quite a bit of my energy into being supportive, so when I have free time, I don't feel like doing productive things that much. But I can't blame it all on that. I also drain a lot of time, and probably mental energy, on the internet just browsing random stuff. I guess to a degree I feel depressed. I know that if I keep a solid diet and exercise, that should help..

Honestly I think a huge problem of mine is that I don't practice enough online. I ground (grinded?) for a few hours today (0.02/0.05, bottom of the barrel on Bovada), and it felt great. Actually it didn't at first. I started off losing, a bit, and realize that I have at least one form of tilt that significantly affects my attitude: "hate-losing tilt" as Tendler calls it. I think that that, combined with "made a mistake" tilt are my two worst.

I think that my "scared money" play isn't necessarily due to thinking that my bankroll can't take a loss. It's that I don't have a deeper faith in myself as a player. I don't really know for sure, even after winning 8bb/hr over ~9000 hands, that I'm a winning player, good enough to really take a shot. I know that I ran pretty darn good for a while, and some of my wins depended on villains who now know not to play so carelessly against me, and probably won't pay me off as much.

And when I go up against, say, a skilled LAG, what I'm afraid of is *not knowing what to do*.

I think that's my biggest fear. I'm not afraid of risk in the sense that I would pass up a 60/40 line for 100 bucks. I'd take it every time. I'd prefer 70/30, but I'll take 60/40. But I'm afraid that I'll be manipulated into a 10/90 situation, and I'll shove it all in. Those are the losses that really get to me. And ironically, it's my fear of that which prevents me from playing as aggressively as I should...and lets my opponents get there.

So if I can practice more online and learn how to avoid those spots and plan ahead, all the better.

Girlfriend just made a life change that should take a TON of weight off her shoulders, so that's great too.

I'm guessing you didnt realize what you wanted until you saw his AQo, but just folding to his raise is another viable super-low-variance option instead of chopping

But as you already know, the best option is to run it twice and win both

Unfortunately they ran out the cards and I *would've* won both.

The reasons I shoved:

1. there was a decent amount of dead money out there to just give up on--just by chopping I still won money
2. he could fold the occasional junk raise--he raised his straddle quite often
3. he could get all in with a pocket pair worse than mine (had gotten in with 66 earlier), or even an ace with an undercard kicker (he actually got all in with A4o vs 2 opponents for 70bb, at the end of the night).

So yeah, what I really wanted was to see him call with a worse hand, and I did know this in the moment.

I think it was definitely a +EV play, but exhausted all of my courage.

Also, hopefully the fact that I shoved with 8's widens my range in his mind, and having chopped it (taking the edge off) makes him even more receptive to getting all in with a hand like AQo when I'm killing him with AK, QQ, KK, or AA.

I can vouch for playing micros to improve your live game. Obviously, they don't completely translate, but just the sheer volume and having to think at a higher level than live is so good for you. If I feel I'm not playing well, I'll take a couple days and just grind 4NL and it usually takes care of things.

Hey Corlath, I'm not entirely sure, but we might not be that far from one another. If so, give me a PM. I'm always down for increasing my player network. It's good for everyone.

Meditation - Haven't done this in quite a while. I think I was in a funk for the latter half of winter, where I didn't really feel like doing anything productive, including meditation (to me it counts as being productive...way more than just clicking around the internet or watching television).

Exercise - ditto on exercise, I hit a slump and got way out of shape (not really in terms of weight as I'm 5'9" and never got over 150, but in terms of the other benefits of exercise, for sure). I do yoga from time to time but really have to limit poses that put pressure on my wrists, because carpal tunnel-type symptoms emerge, or just general exhaustion in the wrist when I try to play guitar for extended periods.

However, I ran a mile today and the two days before. (Well, today was the first day I actually ran the whole time...and my time is only 8:42 which sucks but it will get better.) I already feel worlds better physically, just shaking off the doldrums of winter.

Nutrition - similar deal. Wasn't keeping after myself to eat well, although I've been doing pretty good about taking a multivitamin, and omega-3 fish oil. Could do better about eating salads and veggies in general, cooking for myself instead of a cheapo "cereal, eggs and oatmeal" diet. Being up late at night seems to increase my cravings for junk food, and apparently research backs this up. It's a bad cycle because eating junk food at night affects...

Sleep - I still seem to have little to no control over my sleep schedule. It just rotates around the 24-hour cycle, with little regard for my plans or efforts. Although exercising regularly again might do a lot to help.

Activities - still playing guitar from time to time. I have a weekly DnD (Pathfinder) group which gets me out and interacting with non-poker-degens, even if it's not the pinnacle of social networking. It's a fun time. Trying to get out more with the girlfriend, which is good for the relationship, and us each individually.

***

As for poker, I'm reading Miller's How to Read Hands, and it seems to be 100% solid material--evidenced by how hard it can be to work through. I really am very lazy about hand reading most of the time, so it's quite difficult. It would clearly be easier if I already had a good habit of trying to read hands. When I do fully focus on a hand at the table, attempting to figure out what each player has, it's fascinating to me, and when I hit a spot in the book that clicks, it's very exciting. So the potential is there. I just have to, once again, get past my sluggish inertia, I think.

Currently I'm reading through Duke's PGC. I'm up to mid-January. His life work ethic is pretty inspiring, and his willingness to own up to mistakes and try a different method. There was some noise a month or so back about him "thinking too good of himself"...I dunno. He's young, and I would say more realistic about his own abilities than 99.99% of 21-year-old poker players. I guess I'll find out if there's anything in the PGC that sparked all the hubbub.

Limp 44 MP at a juicy game, 6 to the flop, pot 12.

flop 489r, two to my right bets 7 into 12, one to my right calls, I make it 25, one fold, to my right calls, covers his face with his arm and says "I can't look!" while the turn card is being dealt.

Pot 69, turn card makes the board 489r 6r.

He checks (forget if he checked dark), I bet 50 because I think he'll pay me with 76 and JT, he c/r to 100. Of course I think he has T7 but I'm getting 4.5 to 1 to call and hit the boat. So I call.

Pot 269, river J, he instashoves 104. Getting 3.7 to 1.

I think he's never ever showing up with a set of 8's or 9's, or JT or 67. I think he would've raised 89 on the flop, either before or after I raised (probably before).

General read on the player, btw:

He's pretty wide-eyed and new, but intelligent. Is always asking me questions about the game (openly, at the table, in front of everyone--which I was trying to cull because ldo no talking strat at the table). I think I've seen him make some bluffs, but he openly says he tries to stay away from me, and I believe him. He doesn't size properly to get likely draws to fold.

Right after he shoved, he looked into the distance...and he was breathing really heavily the whole time. Last time I saw someone breathing really heavily like that, the guy had called with a nut flush draw and hit it on the turn. I really wanted to let it go due to my read on his betting, his player tendencies, and the looking away and breathing tells.

GL GL