Hello, first time posting I'd like to know what you guys think.

So this, in short, has been my poker journey so far:

First know that what I want to get from poker is just some extra money, say a second income. I have given a lot of thought to this, and even though I actually believe I could make a living out of it if I put the work and the hours in, it's just not for me. I don't want to be grinding out playing poker for hours everyday. As I said, I just see poker as a hobby, in wich I want to make some money out of.

I started playing poker online about a year ago. Overall, I'm up money, not much but I am, probably like $200 but I don't feel comfortable enough to say I'm a winning player, at least not just yet. And now I know what the reason for this has been: poor game selection and horrible bankroll management, period.
So, for all this time (until yesterday) tournaments had been my game of choice, what I played the most, what I even loved at one point, or not loved but you know, I enjoyed playing them, a lot of action, exciment in deep runs, the joy of winning one.
I must have made several $10 or $20 deposits along this time, ran it up to the hundreds, went down, up again, down again... it's been a rollercoaster for me, but hey, overall I'm not down money in poker, so that's alleviating.
Probably the best moment I've had poker related was like 5 months ago, I had lost around $70 in one day (probably with a $100 bankroll, yes I know, horrible bankroll management that is) and then I said whateverf*ck it, and took a shot at a $22 PKO tournament in PartyPoker, and I won it for $440 if I remember correctly. I didn't luck boxed it or anything, I played solid and ran decent, as I said, I consider myself as a good thinking player, and have had lots of deepruns in the past.
So there you go, I had been going down and up within $10 - $60 bankrolls before that, and just like that bink, a $440 win, needless to say it felt pretty good.
Shortly after that I think I withdrew the mayority of it to keep it safe really, and left just a little in my poker account, then I lost it, and had some problems to withdraw the money from my bank account to deposit again so I actually couldn't play for some months, and it was just earlier this year that I could deposit and play again. Between all this I had also played some cash games, I did quite well in them.

So I've had a love-hate relationship with tournaments. But just Yesterday I've FINALLY come to the realization that tournaments are just not for me, even though I consider myselft good at them, they are just not for me. And here's why:
(I had also made a list some time ago of why I picked tournaments over cash games, so yeah, my view on this has completely changed).

Point one, and the most important one for me, it's just too much time consuming, and also I hate deeprunning a tourney for 6 hours to then just get X3 the buy-in because I lost a coin flip towards the end that would've put me in 1st place had I won it for a lot more money.
I've also found myself in the situation of wanting to do something thing or go X place but couldn't because you know, "I'm deep in a tournament", and I f*cking hate that.

Point two, it's just a different feeling when sitting at a cash table than in a tournament for me. Yesterday (the moment wich basically got me to say, f*ck tournaments I was in a final table of a 18 man sitngo $15 buy-in (probably I had like $30 left in my account, yes again, horrible bankroll management), 5 people in the money, and well, I lost a coin flip wich would've put me in first place with a big cheap lead over 2nd place, so at least 2nd place was almost guaranteed. Pay outs were 1. $100, 2. $75, 3. $50, 4. $25. But instead I went out fifth and got nothing. Then I gambled away my last $30 or so in $15 and $7 hyper-turbos heads-up sitngoes and again, lost coinflips, I've ran pretty bad overall these last days actually.
And yes I know, you need to have a lot more buy-ins than that to not succumb to the variance of tournaments, but I was tilted I guess.

So yesterday later at night, I sat down at a f*cking NL2 table, and you know what I felt that I had not felt in a long time while playing? Peace, calmness, a sense of freedom, something I just don't get with tournaments. And not because the stakes where low for my standars but, just the nature of it, of the cash game. In a tournament it's like I'm always tight up, stressed out, I don't know, it's just that way for me. Knowing that I can stop playing whenever the f*ck I want, it's just so valuable for me.

Lastly, and this is related to point one, I just feel like "I am too good" to let my edge an skill succumb to the brutal variance of tournaments. I feel like at the moment that I register to play a tournament, it's already a -EV decision.

You know what? take back what I said before, the real best moment I've had in poker was yesterday when even though I lost all my bankroll, I FINALLY made the decision to choose cash games over tournaments/sitngoes. God I wish I would've come to this conclusion much much much earlier.
Now I'll take a break from poker, and then start fresh, anew, probably with a $100 deposit, with a GOOD bankroll management, and mainly playing cash games. I may even use HM2 to keep track of my results.

[I]Disclaimer - I'm not hating on tourmanents, nor trying to say that cash games are better or anything, and will probably even play some tournaments every once in a while, it was just liberating to finally come to the conclusion that it's just better for me to play cash games. And I know that maybe if I just put more volume in, better bankroll management, I would probably do pretty well in tournaments as well, but then again back to point one, too much time consuming for me.
Also sorry for my English, it's not my main language.

Here's a graph from me playing full time poker over the last 8 years. I only play MTT's and most of it took place in 2015-2018. I have made over 1.2 million dollars USD and I live in Canada which I do not pay taxes, and I also get rakeback of around $400K.

You made 1.2M from 1d mtts ?