So sick so sick of being tired and oh so tired of being sick
At the moment anyone competent on my tables probably sees me as this
I want to be more like this...a fearless, savage, terrifying being who knows no rules, no boundaries, and inspires fear in the hearts of men. That guy who makes you **** your pants when he sits to your left (Phil Ivey). Not only do I want to be like that, but I believe in my heart that I can!
Do you hear that guys? Tomo thinks he can be the best isn't that cute
Background:
I flunked out of school in 2007 (too much weed, way too much lsd, mixed with a lack of confidence and some depression) and was working at Costco when my friend Tommy/Rossi094 was all hey dood these $6.50 sit n rakes are full of morons here's tree fiddy and a link to 2+2. I had plenty of experience beating the high school 50-100nl games and the local 3/6 4/8 limit games for a good clip (Minnesota is pretty much limit only
) but hadn't played really since college started as I had made literally 0 friends out of state. Playing poker again sounded fun! I started grinding and quickly realized I was adept at multi tabling and that it was easy to beat morons by playing tight. I quit my job after a month, parents called me crazy, 3 months later they were like ok this is legit. Pretty soon moved out on my own and this is where it got bad. At 1st I had dreams of becoming good at poker! Grinding $100+ sngs and playing 3/6 and 5/10 with my roommate Tommy. Almost immediately my life became the opposite. Grinding 10-20 hour weeks so I could make just enough to pay the bills and buy entirely too much marijuana/cigarettes. In my 6 years I've probably legit studied 10 hours, 15 max. Not only that, but I've spent pretty much every dime on weed/cigs/stupid bull**** (and taxes...why did I pay the taxes so these ****ing ****stains could light my money on fire
). I improved a little over time just from playing, talking about a hand on skype sometimes, and posting entirely too much in the worthless STFF forum. Sometimes I wonder if I did that just so I could keep up with my increasingly bad/expensive habits. I've pretty much been stagnant in life and poker for 6 years now just doing enough to get by in both. That ends now. Sick of being another mediocre as **** $25 abi grinder, sick of being chubby, sick of having no lady friends, sick of not being confident, sick of my brain feeling like mush. It ends now
The Plan (wtf is a plan?)
Getting healthy and improving my life:
1 . Stay weed free, been weed free about 3 weeks now. I still have no memory and feel ******ed, think I'm gonna need to stay away for a longggg time
2. Quit cigs entirely. Went from 3/4 pack a day to ~3 packs in the past 3 weeks. Not bad, but not bad ain't acceptable no mo. Only greatness is allowed in here
3. Learn how to cook a meal that isn't a god damn hamburger and try to eat pretty healthy everyday. No junk food, no pop/energy drinks, no eating out 24/7.
4. EX ER SIZE By some miracle of God I'm only semi fat despite the absurd amount of **** I've shoveled into my body of the years. Time to whip my ass in shape! I want to exercise every single day even if it's just some 10-15 minute walk and I want to work out at least 3 days a week.
7. Figure out a plan for the future. I need to do one or both of the following A. crush people's dreams on the tables and/or B. Go to comm college and start plugging away on general classes
8. Work on OMG talking to people that aren't my best friends. The number of girls I've blown a chance with... the friends I didn't make....all because I was scared and unconfident. Unacceptable, what kind of way is that to live life
The Poker Plan
1. Approach poker like it's my 1st day playing. I'm so bad at this game I might as well know nothing about it, time to relearn/rethink EVERY aspect of my game
2. THINK I honestly can't remember the last time I thought about a poker hand lmao. I'm just a robot who reacts to bet sizes and community cards as they fall. Maybe a hand or 2 day receives some incredibly minimal thought. Part too many tables, part brain being fried, part not knowing how to think about poker hands, part not giving two ****s about anything
3. Studystudystudy I have SO much catching up to do if I ever want to crush. 10 hours a week MINIMUM. Less training videos more sitting down and getting into the nitty gritty details of this ****. My lack of knowledge is immense
4. Volume. I've been beasting volume wise the past few weeks, but I need to keep up the hours. I also need to keep table count in check, I play so much better 14 tabling than 18 it kind of blows my mind
Here are my mtt/sng results so far. I've had success in every sng format pretty much having a few thousand games played of each which is maybe one of the few things that's help kept my brain a bit active over the years. Except 45mans god I ran bad in those, but hey 45mans are ****ing stupid anyway. I also have a ~4bb/100 winrate at 50-100nl over a 1.3 million sample, some successful shots at higher and I don't want to know how many hours of live mid stakes cash/mtt.
les ****ing c0
Last edited by ikillfatboys; 07-01-2014 at 10:07 AM.