This first post will be lengthy, hang with me!

My goal is to make poker a nice side job that will help pay for some of the luxuries me and my family want in life. With that being said.......

I am a 30 year old business owner/father/husband with a very understanding wife. I am not an alcoholic, I do not have any addictions. I could literally walk away from poker today and continue living my life just fine with just a tad less money.

I have played poker for about 8 years (maybe playing once a month at most), 7 of which I was hands down a losing player. I started taking the game more seriously around May 2017. I started winning more and in turn playing more. I started tracking EVERY session I played the first of Oct 2017. I went on the variance roller coaster from Oct-May. I would have 4-5 good sessions then 2 BAD ones, then 3-4 good, so on and so forth. I have always had an issue with tilt and discipline but was still profitable.

I started hosting a game mid 2017 which is most of where I played. I would rarely get to the casino but when I did, I normally did well "mostly due to rungood". I would randomly try shots at online only to run it up, and lose it all , run it up and cash out part of it then bust. I quit online after a few tries.

A couple of months passed and I figured I would take another shot at online because it is so easily accessible. Similar story, different day. I was very swingy with a 48% vpip / 7% pfr / 1% 3b / 58% cb / 44%w$sd but was still able to somehow squeak some profit. I continued running into a player that was destroying me every time we played. I reached out to him and we have since become friends.

He has helped me mold my game to 20% vpip / 13% pfr / 3% 3b / 40% cb / 57% w$sd. I know the numbers still need work, I am working on them . But, I had still been running into discipline/spew issues. After an extremely spewey weekend, he recommended I read a book called "Peak poker performance" by Dr. Tricia Cardner. I can not explain how much this book has helped my game and my daily life.

I immediately started implementing some of the things in the book and it is really changing how I look at poker, and life in general. It made me realize how truly important the mental game is in poker without even considering theory or strategy. It also made me realize how terribly disciplined I was in a lot of aspects of my life and game. Some of the habits I had let myself fall into were just absolutely terrible for physical and mental health all together.

The reason I say that poker will change my life is not due to money or anything monetary. It is more about the mindset path that poker has put me on, and had it not been for poker, I probably never would have been the wiser.

I plan to use this thread as a tool to help me reset my mind when I need to get away from the table, to post hands in, update my poker/life path, and be held accountable. I hope you guys don't mind that!

Cliff notes: 696 hours of play, and 1 year into my "actual" poker life after some roller coaster play, discipline issues, run good and run bad, I have built my roll to $9000. I got some coaching and read a book called "Peak poker performance" by Dr. Tricia Cardner and it is really helping with bad habits and discipline issues.

Here are some of the hands that sparked the thread and the "want" to get away from the felt so to speak...

V1 UTG with roughly 50bb 64%vpip
V2 CO with roughly 76bb 61% vpip
Hero BTN with roughly 180bb

I have a few sessions with v2 at the table, he raises almost every hand he plays and then pot bets the flop no matter how many people are in the hand. Most of the time if he missed, he will c/f the turn. He 3bets with random garbage and will gii with middle pair and a draw or sometimes just middle pair.

V1 makes it 2.5bb
V2 3b to 7.5bb
Hero 4b to 32bb with A2s (I know, sizing was too large and slightly wide)
V1 folds
V2 calls

68bb flop comes 9C 7C AD , V2 checks, hero shoves, V2 calls remaining 35ish bb and shows JhQC

Turn Qs
River Qd

V2 wins pot

V1 BB loose agro with roughly 80bb
Hero BTN with 200bb KcKd

Folds to hero on the BTN who makes it 3bb
Folds to V1 who 3b to 9bb
Hero 4b to 27bb, v1 calls

8D 9D 4D, V checks, hero shoves, v1 tank calls and is all in for 80bb.

V1 shows As Qh

Turn 10C
River Jc

V1 wins pot.

Hero 221bb opens utg with QJo to 2.5bb
V1 330bb calls from utg+1, folds around

6.5 BB Flop 6D 7D JC, Hero bets 3bb, V calls

12.5 BB Turn Qc , Hero checks hoping to induce as this player is aggressive and has shown to like to take down pots at any sign of weakness. V checks behind "sigh"....

12.5bb River 9H, hero bets 5bb, v raises to 20bb, hero calls.

Hero QJ for 2pr
V1 99 for 3 of a kind.

This hand wasn't a huge loss, but it is when I noticed my play diminishing as it happened within 15 min of the other two hands posted above along with some others not posted. So I hopped off and let my mind reset.

Good job stopping when you noticed the tilt!

Had a little home cash game today, $151 profit. Nothing major, but for being card dead and only having 3 big hands I was in, I’m happy with it. Back to the online grind this week.

Insert graph. The large spike towards the end was the entry of a lot of my online play from earlier in the year. It wasn't logged in my bankroll tracker so I basically logged it as one huge session.

Posting an update because I am not one of those people to only post good news. lol.

Since posting this thread I have had a WHOLE lot of run bad mixed with some bad play.

-Ran AA into 74 on a 742 flop. Ran it 3 times and he makes a boat all 3 times including one that the 2 paired the turn giving me the better 2 pr.
-Ran AA into QQ, elected to run it multiple times and he chose not to, he got he Q
-Ran KK in A8 off, ace on the flop.
-Ran ATc into 72o after the v raised and I 4x 3b pre. 2c5c7h flop. Ran it 3 times, got my flush twice and he boats on both of those boards. lol

These type of hands just kept coming and coming. Then I ran through a spell of raising with good hands and trash hitting the flop and opponents getting suborn with middle pair bad kicker and calling down so I basically had to go into raise pre, c/f almost all flops. Then mix in some spells of folding 30 hands in a row, raise with QQ and the flop come ak4 and either c/f or cbet fold lol.

After continuous hands like that, I punted off some money due to tilt and frustration.
So needless to say, I am trying to recuperate a little and reset my mind.

I may take a week or so off and just enjoy some other things besides poker to reset. Luckily, poker is a hobby that I can make money at so the NEED to play is not there .

I will post an update when I jump back on the horse!!

Played a couple of live sessions this weekend. Home game Friday night with a +$240 win. Let boredom tilt get to me and played a speculative hand in late position and decided to make it a bluff. The V apparently made a very thin call on my river shove after he made the statement of what he thought I had. I mucked as I literally could not beat anything.

Came back from $80 to a $527 cash out.

I was down at my camp on the coast working this weekend so I figured I would pop over to the Beau rivage and try and get a small 1/3 session in since it is rare that I can actually play when I am on the coast.

I played pretty well for being card dead. I was up about $150 and was dealt AA in the sb.

3 people limped, I raised to $15 with about a $550 stack(a little smaller than I wanted but that was my standard raise). BB calls, hj calls, co calls.

Flop comes K73 rainbow. I lead for $45, bb calls, hj raises to $100, co folds. I tank for a minute to replay and think what could be going on here and what I should do. I really wanted to raise here but something felt off, and if I could pick up an ace on the turn it would put me in a spot where I could gii comfortably being as deep as I was so I decided to call.

BB declares all in and pretty much instantly, the hj guy calls all in. I stated that bb shove may not be enough for him to raise, but it was by $3. So he is able to raise all in for another $330 and I tank fold as I am not seeing him doing this with less than 2pr or a set and he could literally have ANY combo of those here with his playing style.

Board runout does not help me anyways, hj shows 77, bb shows AA. So the fold saved me $330. But had the BB just 3b me pre I think we could have avoided all that anyways. lol. Ended up leaving up $140 after 3 hours

Probably going to stick to live sessions until I build my roll back up a little bit before jumping back online. My roll being diminished was affecting my online play big time.

In the mean time I will be substituting a new audio book called The One Thing by Gary Keller in the time I would normally be playing online .

Had a big fishing trip planned this weekend so we were down at the camp on the coast. After our fishing trip I decided to pop over to the Beau Rivage and get a short session in. I was physically tired but mentally I was ready to go.

I played for an hour and 15 minutes and left with a +$567 win.

I made $100 on my first hand after everyone limped and 4 people called my $25 raise from the bb with aq off. Flop came q high and I cbet and everyone folded.

A few hands later I made an off kilter type play and limped ep with ajs. There was a stumbling drunk whale in lp that raised and all the limpers called. Flop was Ks Ts 9h, it checks around to the whale and he makes a cbet, I call and one other player calls. Turn is an off suit 8. Checks around to the whale who bets $50 into about a $150 pot, I raise to $150, other player shoves for about $180 on top of my $150, whale folds.

I wince call the shove mainly because I didn't feel like going home if I missed, but with an up and down straight draw, a royal draw, and the nut flush draw, I can't fold for that much. There was also a $300 high hand promotion so there was a little more implied odds if I spiked my Qs. River was a 6s and I won the pot and doubled up on that hand.

In the hour and 15 minutes, I think I only vpip 6 hands, 5 of which I opened the action, and I won 5 of those 6 hands. Only 1 of those 5 went to showdown and I double up on that hand so it was a pretty good night.

The table was really too juicy to leave but I decided I was up enough and that the tiredness was setting in too hard and fast for me to stay and play longer so I decided to head back to camp.

The last couple of weekends playing at the casino again has really made me realize how soft and profitable those games can be as there are soooo many limp callers that you can take down pretty big pots without having to have a massive hand.

So all in all, a great weekend of relaxation and poker. I have a little home game today also, so I will update later! Enjoy the pics!

No live sessions this weekend, spent time focusing on finishing up the house we are building. I did manage to get a little time in online. Here was a hand that stuck out.
.5/1 6max
Hero $391 SB 99
V1 $235 UTG

Action completely limps around and hero makes it $7, V1 is the only caller.

Flop $18

498

Hero checks hoping to check raise, v checks behind.

Turn 4

Hero checks hoping v has a 4 (unlikely) or a flush, v checks... Ugh

River Q

Hero overbets to $24 in attempt to look like I am trying to steal the pot with ak or similar.

Villain raises to $62. I figured maybe he has AQ and is trying to squeeze a little value with it.

Hero raises to $164, v calls....

After looking at this hand afterwards and going over it with a friend, I believe overbetting the flop would have been better than river and setting up the sizing for a really nice sized turn bet or turn shove (a little harder being we started $235 effective).

I believe I have been checking my flopped sets too much and trying to get too trappy with them rather than trying to get money into the pot. And in turn I am losing value with them as most of these players I am playing against will float flop bets with literally almost any hand they start with but then fold out by the turn/river if they don't make a strong hand. I think changing up and trying to extract money early in the hand is better than what I have been doing. So this is something I plan to work on a little and try and at least mix it up some.

Played a live session at the Beau Rivage this weekend. Man what a terrible session..... I was extremely card dead, and on the good starting hands I did have, I either didn't make a hand or if I did make any hand I lost it.

In 4 hours I only made 1 hand better than one pair and it was a limped pot and I was in the bb and I only got one bet out of the v before he folded to my raise.

<15 hands into the session I am dealt KK utg and I raise to $15
v1 Young asain guy calls mp1
v2 Very lag headphone/glasses, hustling hat wearing mawg calls from bb.

Flop comes 456 rainbow, v2 checks, I lead for $35, v1 folds, v2 snap calls

Turn 3, v2 checks, I bet $50, v2 raises to $150. I knew I should have folded this spot, but I had literally play 15 of the 15 hands since I sat and he showed 3-4 times he took down a pot with absolutely nothing. And I knew he could be doing this with a single pair putting me on ak or something similar. But I called anyways.

River was a random brick which even if I binked a K I would still be behind the hand I was really worried about anyways. He shoved and I had about $180 left, I called. He showed 77 for the straight.

Terrible play on my part and I knew it. So I was stacked withing the first half hour. Rebought and continued bad play and bad cards just dwindled me down.

Moved tables and there was an agro maniac 2 people to my left. I knew that I just needed to wait on a big hand to catch him. He was straddling 50-60% of hands and playing 80-90%. I limped AA on the button with the maniac in bb. (smh, terrible I know). Guess what!!!! No raise. We go 4 ways to the flop which is a dry 10 high board.

SB (solid Tag) leads for $12, mp calls, I call (should have raise).

Turn is a Q. Sb leads for $50 ( I am putting him on scared/big 10 trying to end the hand there) mp folds, I raise to $150 and he gives the speech to the dealer about "are you really doing this to me" etc. He shoves against my remaining $100. I KNEW I had to be behind but had already committed 2/3 of my stack. I felt like he may have had some weird 2pr or was trying to re-apply pressure to fold out a "move making" hand. I wince called and he showed QTo and river was a brick for me.

I am still up 5k in my poker playings over the last year, but the majority of my losing is happening the more and more I study. IDK if it is because I am trying to call too thin and make too many moves, or play too tightly so when I do make a huge "stack someone" kind of hand I don't get action, or discipline issues causing losses, or maybe a combination of them all.

Either way I feel like I need to take a decent break and try to get rid of some of the entitlement thought processes that I have been having!

I know this is not a thread like 6betme's or anything so there isn't as much degen excitement, but it does help me to get this out and "on paper" to remind myself that sun runs don't last forever and it takes constant work, and self control to be a good poker player.

Checking back in with an update. I have only played one live session since my last bad one at the beau, but I have put in about 9k hands online with a current profit of $900. I am playing better and not running badly so it helps. The last couple of months have been busy finishing up a house we were building, and now I am starting the remodel of another so live sessions will be few and far between for a couple months at least.

I will keep you guys posted every so often!

Here is a hand from today that I realized I played wrong and most likely left money on the table.

.3/.6 nl 6max
Hero BB $130.70
V1 HJ $29.40
V2 BTN very agro just recently sat $112.57

V1 calls .6
V2 raises to $2.4
Hero 3b to $9.6 with KcKd
V1 fold, V2 calls

Flop $20.10 : Kh8c7h
Hero checks
V2 bets $5.
Hero raises to $13.3

I feel like this action was not the best play here. I think maybe making a small cbet or check calling would have been better because.

A. A small cbet could very possibly get this v to bluff raise
B. Check calling could put us in a better spot to stack off on the turn if v puts us on any sort of draw.