Bankroll down to $8,5k, and its official, shark on a downswing ... how is this possible , Im playing with bad regs and whales ... 40 stacks at plo100 LOL.

________________ Hi, Im Me ______________


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DohRa9lsx0Q



I need remember myself: Im one of the best. Im not the best at $200 big blind, $200 is my full buy in , so yes I do have many leaks and make mistakes, but in the little stakes I play, Im the shark. Im good. maybe very good. I have very big winrate over million hands at plo100... Before going broke , I was a big winner at higher stakes... Im good player !

This year, while experiencing a brutal massive bad run, I still have 8evbb (8bb too) at plo100. I used to think I was invencible at plo100. And well, when you have the winrate I have, how you could think otherwise ... But I have to admit... last weeks of plo100 is eating my mind .. it hit me . Shouldn't hit me because while Im doing bad at plo100, Im killing at plo200... btw after last weeks, I got lifetime higher winrate at 1/2 than at 0.5/1... how bad I can run at 0.5/1... lol

ALL session I play togheter both stakes, both mental game and skill game at both stakes. However, sometimes I pay more attention at $200 games because the game is higher, also the regs are better than $100 regs , need pay more attention. I think the shots at 2/4 and 3/6 are also part of the reason I didn't pay much attention at plo100... Will pay more attention at a 50bbs river bet at plo100 or make a plan to a single raised pot at plo400... obvious the later . My mistake, I admit.

Today I noticed I wasn't paying much attention on $100 tables... my stats are too nit and I was fighting enough for pots. I think I played to win 6-8bb . Way too nit ... maybe the game is so easy and so small, that I was in confort zone, just waiting for fishs and regs make mistakes... but I need induce this mistakes, I need be agressive to make them do bigger mistakes.

Since Im back at poker (middle October), I played 65k hands at plo100, winning 4bb with 0evbb. (last 20k hands, I have 40buy ins downswing, brutal).

No poker for me today... just resting. by the way, slept 10hours, from 5am to 15:30pm lol. And unfortunally not ready yet to normal actives, ****ing fever !!!! Im felling good, like 80-85% healthy, but need 100% to sports , drink etc. Im 80% since Monday, I think lack of sleep is making things slow...


Tomorrow Im back at poker tables. Im back at maximum focus . The best player need handle the bad times... lets see how good I can play while being destroyed by the deck... what destroy my mind is seeing the ev line flat... this ****ing '''''''regs''''''' doing mistakes and winning lol ! ok, thats why they do this the reason I win so much, Im not a genius, i just win a lot because they are bad, but damn it, when they win is so tilting !!!!!!!!

Will be a big poker grind this weekend. 20hours of poker from Friday to Sunday. And hopefully I can go for a run on Saturday...

____________ BURNING....... *** ___________


Poker Session Review .

- skill game. 6/10.

- mental game. 7/10. I tilted a bit... Im still giving a decent rate here because I ran VERY VERY bad .

Jesus... how is this possible. day after day...

Late at nigth, around 11pm, reg won 3 all ins vs me at 1/2... and in the same time, a fish won 3 more all ins vs me ... lost $1,2k in couple minutes. crazy fish. ok, part of the game, I admit I wasn't ready to handle that stuff... should been !

btw games today was amazing, really good tables... idk how I lost. jesus. I think I lost $2k... colapse mode. how I can run so bad. 1/2 veeeeery easy...

- results. 7:10 hour, 7,1k hands, won $1k , AIEV -$200. I actually run BELOW ev, because I played decent game and in Fridays my hourly rate should be $200 ... won only $1k today . not complaining, a win is a win, just saying how patehtic this AIEV is.

I will looks like a ****** cry babe , but I won't edit/erase what I wrote above beofre seeing the results hahaha. The only thing Id edit, its my mental game note. from 7 to 4/10... I wasn't running that bad , but the loss was hurting me a lot. weakness.

ps: desotryed plo100 today. good to recover the confidence there.

playing with short roll sucks . Im trying pay debts as fast as possible but thats a mistake.

Now I will have always AT LEAST $15k poker bankroll and 3-4 months ''paid'' in my bank account .

Before this session I had $8,5k poker and 1 month... sweating ... now $9,5k and 1month.

Keep going bro, how about get a part-time job to keep your mind occupied.

_________ Grinding.....________

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q3RE...OQyMI&index=12

Its the 1st time in my adult life (30years) that I go a entire week without weed OR sports. this is making me getting pissed with little things and Im weak mindset at this moment.

Poker Session Review

Great games, easy field, but I played bad today... tilted, didn't play good. All my fault !!! Session started terrible, losing $700 in 5minutes, 2 coolers and a 3rd hand where ......... I don't know what to say, its a cooler, but maaaaaaaaaybe I could find a fold . Also took a mini shot at 2/4 that obvious didn't end well (Lost half buy in there).

Enough to **** my session... during an hour or two I played bad and probably lost $2-3k in those moments ... then I focus focus focus, and recover my mindset and played good until 2am..

- skill game . 4/10. damn it !

- mental game. 2/10.

- results. 8:20hours, 8k hands, won $300, AIEV + $400.

Today I don't deserve win, weak mindset, not playing well, too spew... hope tomorrow I can play better .

Positive things for today:

- solid STAMINA grind machine.
- Was tilted and managed to recover the mind. obvious getting tilted its bad, but usually when Im tilting its hard to recover , so thats an improvement.

- remember that doesn't matter how bad Im running, even when really doesn't seems, this ****hole is fair and all I have to do is take the right decisions. NO GAMBLE!



edit: Bankroll $9,8k, decent bankroll, but I want $15k to feel confortable. Will have to pay $3,2k day 5th December and will have $0 at bank next month, need win something ... as I said, last time I will sweat because Im short money... from now I will pay back debts slow and make sure I have enough $ to me (obvious, following the deals $)

no way . I enjoy playing poker and not having a boss its great, free time etc. and I like to have free time. To get my mind occupied I go run (amateur, Im slow) or gym . And plenty of time left to do whatever I want. I like how my time/days/routine are.

By the way, how you doing at sports ?

___________ GRiiiiiiiiiiiinding ____________

Still a bit sick , no big deal, but staying inside house all time. It doesn't seems its me , I changed so much , but Im counting days to go back gym and run... I never did this in my life, didn't expect to enjoy so much ! (still thin as **** lol)

Poker Session Review

- skill game. 6/10. Above average, solid, standard. By the way, I consider myself a 6/10 overall poker player. Could have been playing up to $1000 tables with table selection, like most guys are doing... will do that next year .

- mental game. 6/10. They flop so many sets vs my Aces on 3bet pots... I have to pot call with 15% equity a lot. **** .

Today was a bit slow, like most Sundays, not great as Fridays and Saturdays... But decent action anyway.

results: 5:30hour, 4,5k hands, won $600, AIEV + $800.

Today I sat $1000 table... with 10 buy ins bankroll Won $1050 there. Played like a ****ing nit, I enter in the pot twice, Kings on button and KKQQds re raising !! Its so fun playing underolled, I miss this ... will do that more after I pay debts. After I re raise KKQQds, 2 calls, flop has $450 in the middle and $850 behind. Pot was so big, I win profit $300 if both fold to cbet . already a big pot for me hahaha.

praying to have a sucessfull cbet bcause already good pot . Paying attention to the hand... not that auto pilot 20 tabling small stakes ... damn I need play higher very soon . I already enjoy poker, but highstakes its so fun !!


After a tough week, Im recovering from the bad run and slowly going up increasing bankroll, now I have $10,3k . Goal is $15k to feel good and re-start paying back debts.

Weekend total 21hours of poker (Fri/Sat/Sun), 19,5k hands, won $1,8k, AIEV + $1k . To be honest, at weekends I expect to win more than $150/hour, I won a bit less than $100/hour... but Im satisfied , 3 winning days and all this 3 days I started losing... plus I was coming from a bad run, important win to good confidence. Month still terrible... but lets go, 10 more days ! (felling very tired at this moment). If roll was down to $6k would be hard to keep good posture mindset.

__________________ Grinding...... part 190 _____________

Poker Session Review

- skill game. 6/10.

- mental game. 5/10. No tilting, no major mistakes, but can't acept anymore my bad run at plo100.

- results. 5:40hours, 5,1k hands, won $1k, AIEV $0.

Bankroll $11,3k and Im recovering well from the downswing. But thats because Im crushing 1/2, meanwhile losing everything at 0.5/1 in the worst run of the history.

______________ Rant PLO100 _____________________

Its eating my soul... how the **** I can run so bad. if I wasn't one of the best player here, Id start asking if Im good or not... to be honest, Im atually asking myself if at this moment Im playing the best I can at plo100.

I probably I did few small mistakes at plo100 while shot taking plo400-600 , because plo100 seems too small when playing higher. Also when 20+tabling i tend to focus more in the bigger pots, and pay less attention to plo100, thats true. But , I really don't know, Im thinking this only because Im losing at plo100... last year I did extcly same grind style and I destroyed plo100 w 14evbb... its not that Im tilting at plo100, because I play togheter plo200 and plo100, and my results at plo200 are good !!!! Maybe Im not playing good enough at plo100 because lack of attention, or because i crush so hard I auto pilot a lot, but I look at the tables, at the fishs, the very minimum I should be winning, even not playing the best possible, is 10bb...

I have been played diferent stakes/games over a decade and I don't remember running so bad like I am running... Now I have 35buy ins downswing at plo100, and I had some 50buy ins downswings in the past, but I had like 6-8bb edge, not double digit winrate like I have now. thats why I say this right now at plo100 is the worst ever.

Since Im back at poker (14th October), I played 80k hands at plo100 with +4,5bb and +1,2evbb . this month its already 50k hands and -3bb and -1,5evbb. it ****ing sucks !!! I didn't expect to play 50k hands without winning at plo100... always crushing there. This year (obv including this epic bad run) I played tons and tons of hands with 8evbb and 8bb plo100. In all my life I played 630k hands plo100 with 10bb 10,4evbb. how the **** I can't win here this month... last year had 14evbb... lol.

no joke, or better saying, its a joke, all time... I have 9988 , flop 982r. fish has T762... and he is favoritew that trash lol. sets over sets... Aces always floping bad... damn ****ing god !

Positive point of view: the epic bad run its at my smallest stake. Im crushing plo200, a stake that has less fish and better regs, so Im 100% sure Im playing good, just asking myself, maybe I need pay more attention... its sick how this bad runs **** our minds.

/rant.......... tomorrow more poker grind !

ps: Today woke up felling slight better about my throat.. hopefully Thursday Im back at normal routine . its annoying, very slow..... thought id be ok 1 week ago.

400k hands with 12bb true winrate, its 5% chance I win only 8bb in that sample size (147std dev). ---- I don't think I played good enough to achieve 12bb this year at plo100, but I do think my true winrate is around 12bb... I think I played this year to make 10bb...

80k hands plo100 (amount of hands I played since Im back), playing wth true winrate 12bb, theres 5% chances of having 4bb (I have 4bb since im back) . And mind blowing, theres a 0.5% chance of a 12bb winner LOSE in 80k hands with my std dev... 0,5% seems nothing, but its actually a decent chance... its 1 in 200. an airplane crashs its 1 in 7million and Im scared to fly , lol. If I had 20bb, theres actually a micro chance 0,0011% of losing after 80k hands. Thats almost impossible, but WILL happen to someone.

After seeing this numbers feels pathetic cry about my ''worst possible epic bad run'' of +4bb... but ya this blog was created to me vent and put my worst side . here its just beats, variance, fears and problems... brags and good things I don't need here, real life .

By the way, I think one major mistake Im doing should be playing too nit at plo100... will be 3betting a lot tomorrow . My std dev last year crushing was 145, this month is only 127... idk what to say.

_______________ ShArk Atack ____________

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=05V4CgSL0lw

Its oficial shark quits the downswing !!!!!! After today session Im at my peak at month ($8k) . Im happy because its beeing a hard month, playing sick/sore throat, not going outside , not the best state of mind... Also in the back of my mind, its still the shots I took at plo400 and I played bad during this shots... Would be a solid month if wasn't for those shots... whatever, all good now .........


Poker Session Review

- skill game. 6/10. FINALLY a decent winning session at plo100! !!!

- mental game. 4/10. Yesterday after I wrote my blog, I was thinking thinking thinking... I realized how weak my mindset is to play poker. Im a whale mental wise, so when I give myself a 7/10 mental, its like, a kid ******ed . From now I will be more demanding w my rates.

- results. thought I lost $1k at plo100 and won $2k at plo200...
- results. played 6hours, 5,7k hands, won $2,3k , AIEV + $2,1k. (won 1,8k plo200 and won $500 at plo100 , OMG I WON AT PLO100 !!!!!!!!!!)

Yeah good for you bro , just grind it out ! Too bad i dont play poker because its banned in my country and the deposit and wihdraw is a hassle for me on some site. I am betting small nowadays mainly on e-sport. Nba and soccer are killing me but i recovered from esport

___________ .......... Grinding....... ___________

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TT8e7i0ccLQ

Poker Session Review

Slowday at tables... started my session late, not many tables running.. thats what I thought... I didn't expect to run so bad , I never do... But im learning my lesson .

- skill game. 7/10 . Solid, good player.

- mental game. 8/10.

My favorite moment to run bad is in the middle of session, Im in the zone, with focus... starting session and late in the end are bad moments to bad runs.


Today, Again.......... Started running VERY bad , TERRIBLE, down $1,5k in couple minutes... losing all pots , everything going broke... I was extremely pissed, but not tilted, didn't do a single mistake (mistakes I do all time. I mean, because of tilt)......

It was extra tilting because I lost some big pots vs a bad reg... Bad calls, previsible bet sizes... good hands, he bets 90% of pot, good hands, but not good enough to go broke he bets 70%... bluffs he goes w 70%. His pre flop game is stupid...However, he is running like god vs me since forever. Plus he is one of those idiots who sit out when fish is sitting out, block tables, and has a cocky avatar that puts me on tilt. Today I blocked his image...


- results 5:10hours, 4,1k hands, lost $100, AIEV - $400. One of the best sessions I played since Im back. Love how I played today, specially mental game. Felling like a champion after today.

_______________ **** ____________

poker session review

- skill game. 6/10.

- mnetal game. 2/10.

Ran bad all day... in the end lost big pot $900 at plo200 , that put me on tilt. I didn't do any huge mistake, but went play zoom and other stuff, ridiculous.

Ran very very bad today. hate this game.

results. 7:43hours, 7,8k hands, lost $1k, AIEV + $1k. pathetic run.


I think i got tilted kinda easy today because i started with small bankroll today, yesterday i cashout $2,5k to me... after cashout + paying some debts, bankroll down to $9,1k. Its tilting run bad with small bankroll. After today session, bankroll $8,1k , sweating situation...

what really makes me go nuts is running bad exatcly the day after my cashout. ****ing jesus , you dont even exist, but if you did exist im sure you hate me.

In a terrible day where I ran $2k below, did the mistake to sit higher stakes, got tilted, nothing was good, I lost only $1k... thats actually a good thing .

During game I was pissed becuase I couldn't win a ****ing all in. Right now Im pissed becuase I didn't play the best possible. **** !!!!!!! I know this variance game, ok it sucks losing after cashouts/paying debts , especially in a Friday night, but its the game.

By the way, I self ban myself from sitting higher than 1/2 .

___________

I should never gamble like I did , I mean, only stop w huge debts... be in this situation Im now, so much stress... its ridiculous, I feel like in prision... thats why i get tilted so easy w small money...

and the situation is sick, because I actually didn't stop because I realized I should stop. I only stop because friends stop sending me money . and lets not forget , the very last money i got loan , I did gamble and was down to $2k bankroll ($3k total life roll )and those $2k I put in a football game that I started losing 0x1... (won 3x1 in the end).

I mean... Im an idiot.

Go broke, OK, don't hurt much. What hurts a lot is having big debts... damn ****ing god this kills my mind.

I will be happiest guy in this planet when I have 0 debts , even beeing poor, 0 debts is awesome.


what is most ridiculous about my situation... its im a solid player, the best playing 0.5/1 and prob the best at 1/2. Now Im in this prision having to grind this pathetic stakes forever...


------------- ****_____________________

I lost $2k twice in 2 diferent days last week, and wasn't even close to the tilt level Im now. I don't know why... **** .

What is your total debt (in USD) now?

I hate being in debt so i totally feel your comment. Seems like you’re a crusher with bad money management. Hope your situation gets better man.

Around $74k. Started this journey with total $92k debt . Paid $18k in 40 days.

btw I didn't realize my debt was so huge until weeks ago.... Im so stupid. lol

ya man it sucks. you know one thing that make me pissed is not everyone is like us about felling bad about hate being in debts...

At this moment I have some guys who owe me money ... Small debts, like $300, $200 , and $1k . It was bigger , and they are paying , slow, but paying... its obvious they don't care being in debts.

_______________ Grinding part 191_____________________

Small session today.

Crushing right and left , Im playing great. Learned a very cool bet size that really improved my game. ITs a player who plays always 1/2, butplays up to 10/20. My favorite way to improve is playing vs better players than me... people think this is bull**** good players say so they have more action, but it works well for learning.

- skill game. 7/10. They floping quads vs my aces doesn't help and ****ed my EVline...

- mental game. 6/10.

- Result. I think about even.
- results: 2:40hour, 2,8k hands, won $500, AIEV + $1,4k .

It sucks running so bad (again), but a win is a win, and its more special when its after a bad day...

Bankroll $8,7k

How i can lose again... .****. Im the best player in this stakes... last year biggest winner by far... and this isn't brag, the time i play its full of FISHS. 60vpip players !!!!

- skill game . 6/10. playing soft games... tons of fishs...

- mental game. 10/10.

- results. ****. lost $1,3k... aiev -$1,7k. how is it possible so many cooilers against me. 9hours playing... 7,7k hands.

bankroll down to $7,3k. seriously , hoe the **** I can run so bad.

Do you have skype. Can u stop sports betting?

If you need someone to vent to or just talk pm me dude

Hi mate, thanks for the support , I don't have skype.

I can stop sportbets, I already quit. Lately Im doing fine. For me its ''hard'' quit gambling while Im in the middle of a gambling season, if I lost big or won big last day, it gives huge temptation to go gamble again next day, but if im not gambling, its easy . Maybe I have wrote here that I felt addicted , maybe this thoughts crossed my mind when I was losing big and really want try chase my losses and didn't have money anymore , then the felling ''I WANT GAMBLE'' its big.

By the way, very likely I quit the sportbets grind forever.... the rake 17% is just abuse, its rape. Its so sad because watching sports its one of my favorites things AND gambling its also my favorite thing, this 2 things togheter ...its the best ever. But 17% rake... impossible. When Im back gambling im probably just do decent gambling with 5%, casino stuff, and once in a while bet at some games, but not betting 10 games per day ... sportbets eats money .

______________ HEADS UP _________________


When I finished yesterday session I was devastated. I stop playing 3am, wasted an hour staring at computer/listening music until 4:30am, wihtout believe how I could lost $1,3k ... how I lost so much at HU . Also the 6handed tables were really easy, how I could breakeven with such an easy field...Add the frustration of the last 60k hands at plo100 Im breakeven (with only +2evbb).... plus bankroll now is only $7,3k... But what really hit me was my HU results. I thought I did big mistakes, felling like a fish...devastated... I didn't even eat decent dinner, just trash... keep watching TV (suits) until 6:30am because was felling sad about my poker results... didnt even brush my teeth lol. if i didn't have such a little bankroll, wouldn't feel so bad.

Now looking back and review some hands, it was most likely extreme bad luck, and yes, mixed with some small mistakes, but the main reason, just variance.

In the end of night I played an hour with a semi fish who was tilting, he left zoom pool with $1,1k, all my money... maximum tilt, and most of hands were medium hands , which gave me the impression that I was owned hard. He seems easy money, but he ran over me like a locomotive !!!

Today this was still on my mind, I went to HM to see my HU results. Im usually very confident in my HU game, but as I said, this recent loss hit me like a truck.

Since last year I played 26k hands at HU zoom, plo100 and plo200. I got 15bb and 12evbb.. At normal tables, I played 127k HU hands at plo100 and plo200 with 15bb and 17evbb. Thats solid ... I rarely play HU with fishs because regs join fast when theres a fish, but it does happen once in a while to play few hands hu vs fishs. I think my edge vs regs are about 1-15bb, depending on the player and 30-40bb vs the fishs HU. Btw this results shows the obvious: I wouldn't be here if I was a mongoloid gambler .

I didn't check my HU results in a long long time and I was surprised I had such a good winrate starting tables, specially at zoom. I hate zoom, seems Im always losing there . Now, seeing Its a solid move to sit at zoom HU, Im not that pissed anymore... yesterday I said ''never again ZOOM HU''... now I say, I will be sitting there more often.

This post isn't exatcly a brag because the stakes are too small and good players are sitting above, but its cool to win vs regs.