Hey yup, haha! Thanks guys, Bilesy if still relevant you can ask here or pm me your question / skype.

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I started this year shotting 500z it didn't go too well and I went back to 200. January and february have both been losing months total -4k usd & -(1k live session) in evbb Im about even (500bb up) not that it either matters so much. Its just 100k hands stretch and I feel its been pretty much bottom 30% run obviously there is plenty of mistakes / suboptimal play but that just occurs during these stretches.

Otherwise in my life not so much has changed, Im now in Philippines and stayed two months with family during christmas and newyear, that was allright but feel like staying in Asia for quite some time now, might go back to Finnland next winter and skip summer visit. Going back and front alot is quite heavy with flights to be honest (6h timezone difference and 2 days of travel if come from Phils).

Positive thing I did to myself was staying sober for 4 weeks completely during february and after that Ive been just drinking way less than used to do and actually enjoying it again but having way more discipline and control to it. Im aswell working on my mind, I have to admit I used to complain quite alot about poker especially to my girlfriend when it wasnt going well. It easily makes a cycle of manifesting negative things so that your mind gets an ease when someone listens abit, however it obviously is selfish and gets exhausting for another person and doesn't bring anything good. So I think I kind of have admit my weak spot recently and figuring that out has brought me to a better mood constanly and Im enjoying life more than I used to do. Positive thinking doesnt really come by forcing to think positive but by just thinking of something good or fun or whatever

A missconception I think many guys have is that as a guy you need to be hard and unemotional or otherwise you are a weak complainer, thats kind of how I subconsciously used to see it atleast but however numbing emotions is pretty bad and can make feel quite depressed. Meditation has helped me a lot to listen to my "heart" or innerself and not to give up when my mind is attacking against me. I think moving further with this journey is something that will benefit me in multiple ways in the future and Im excited about it


Im about to take one week off starting from tomorrow, taking my girlfriend to Bohol for a vacasion (island near Cebu in the Philippines) think it will be nice.

Goals I had:

reading, unsuccesfull , did read half of the book I mentioned

Pio: doing frequently but likely not as much as I should

phone: Still using but lately (after jetlag) have slept fine. Stopped stressing about getting sleep has helped me most with that. (going to bed and having wake up time in mind and getting worried of not sleeping makes surely not to sleep well).

Enjoying life more:

Definitely succesfull, Im seeing things in a way better light than what I used to do. Sometimes have tilt and bad days and whatever but bigger picture has changed definitely to more positive one.


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Future goals: 1) not try to force things! Think Ive been always having a problem with while getting to poker overworking myself pretty hard. I think results would be better with frequent balanced working hours and thats what I will look forward.

2) get better and keep grinding

Gl with 2018 everyone!

Yeah true, but at the same time, I think numbing emotions is super helpful for poker especially. Like not feeling over excited/super happy after a 10bi day, keeping your cool and all and acting like it's no big deal is super helpful at keeping an even keel in life.

Same thing w losing days. Being able to still go out after a huge loss or hang out w family w/o letting show how the big losing day truly affects you rly helps.

Idk, some say numbing is not good, but I think it still has some decent pros tbh.

It's definitely not healthy long-term to just take the hits and pretend like you don't have emotions. Better to work out a healthy way to unload it all.

Yes, I think what we can controll better than our emotions is our focus. Its always difficult if have really tough day or some **** happen to be happy or positive and Im not saying we should be. Its naturall to be uppset about bad things but at the same time its not good to keep up having emotions that dont really serve us. Meditating helps me to get perspective to things while having anger or stress aswell as exercise or doing basically anything else but thinking of the bad event. Spending time with people usually good aswell, anything that shifts focus as mentioned.

But yes sucking it up while really angry or while having other problems can be helpfull with poker I admit but longterm more beneficial is likely shifting focus and changing that way what we feel. Maybe I need to take my word back and say numbing emotions can be beneficial at times and if cant controll anger its pretty bad obviously.

Yeah, I for sure thing my strat ain't that good longterm wise.

Would you mind sharing how you unload/cope w your emotions related to poker swings?

Walk away from the tables and do something that you enjoy to take your mind off it. Sleep is the best cure imo and, for the most part, resets the bad feelings from a session. You can vent to a spouse or friend about how you're feeling (not about how bad you're running) somewhat but I try not to.

I think it's easier to do that because we play zoom so we can start/stop whenever we feel like.

Cool, efficient easy tips to implement that don't disrupt the daily routine. Nice post.

Yeah, I try not to vent either. Obv helps you feel good in the short term but doesn't feel like a long lasting solution.

Yup.

Back to grind, got pneumonia after starting with exercise while still recovering from flu. Had no fever and felt healthy but was abit early with that. Hasnt ever happened to me earlier.. Seems like antibiotics are now working and Im feeling healthy enough to get back to grind.

Im around 1k up this month after 12k hands. Bit more in Ev, got some heat at first but now dropping buyins again. Really need to get a winning month to maintain confidence after two losing months earlier this year. However my volume hasnt been strong and without shots to 500 and above I would be slightly up and poker is poker it has variance. I dont see the games neccessarily getting tougher either and my results have been last year likely around +3bb/100 at 200 maybe bit more. So not so much to worry about I guess.

I will start to post hands here frequently. It can give away something to my opponents but it has definitely helped me to improve aswell and not to ignore hands that are worth to look for.

H1)

Vs. Nitt regg,

We have couple flushes that want to go that way so I dont think gametheoretically this is never a mistake to go all in on the river. However a size of 80-110% would likely have same foldequity. To be honest the guy is such a huge nitt 3-betting like 3-4% there that KQs type stuff I would find a fold preflop already. So would prefer the smaller size to put him on a spot with AK,AQ likely even 75-80% pot is good.





H2)

Think this is close, if have read he is loose w. cold 4-b obviously jam is good. If not have that read could just fold as this rarely really gets anywhere postfop good unless hit sets.

I think flatting like 88+ and folding 55-77 is the thing to do here. Play ability sucks post and alot of gussing and marginal plays in big pots cant be too good to look for if not having significant edge and knowledge of what your looking for.

PokerStars Zoom Hand #183867277055: Hold'em No Limit ($1/$2) - 2018/03/15 6:42:34 CUST [2018/03/15 0:42:34 ET]
Table 'Aenna' 6-max Seat #1 is the button
Seat 1: kiljusieppo ($213.06 in chips)
Seat 2: teruhisa ($254.23 in chips)
Seat 3: AndTheCircus ($235.54 in chips)
Seat 4: roccoramallo ($173.70 in chips)
Seat 5: 52_problemz ($179 in chips)
Seat 6: welshgaz ($578.62 in chips)
teruhisa: posts small blind $1
AndTheCircus: posts big blind $2
*** HOLE CARDS ***
Dealt to kiljusieppo [5s 5h]
roccoramallo: folds
52_problemz: folds
welshgaz: raises $4 to $6
kiljusieppo: raises $12 to $18
teruhisa: folds
AndTheCircus: raises $36 to $54
welshgaz: folds
kiljusieppo: calls $36
*** FLOP *** [3s Jh 3h]
AndTheCircus: bets $37.04
kiljusieppo: calls $37.04
*** TURN *** [3s Jh 3h] [Qd]
AndTheCircus: bets $144.50 and is all-in
kiljusieppo: folds
Uncalled bet ($144.50) returned to AndTheCircus
AndTheCircus collected $186.33 from pot
AndTheCircus: doesn't show hand
*** SUMMARY ***
Total pot $189.08 | Rake $2.75
Board [3s Jh 3h Qd]
Seat 1: kiljusieppo (button) folded on the Turn
Seat 2: teruhisa (small blind) folded before Flop
Seat 3: AndTheCircus (big blind) collected ($186.33)
Seat 4: roccoramallo folded before Flop (didn't bet)
Seat 5: 52_problemz folded before Flop (didn't bet)
Seat 6: welshgaz folded before Flop


H3)

Against a loose reg whome Ive seen doing quite abit weird stuff (thats normal I spew alot aswell) just dynamic thing not blaming if he happens to read this.

River vs. most works likely well enough as valuebet & but vs. the shove tbh. dont think people try to get anyone off here from a hand like this / most dont and its too much to await him being so exceptional with that. So should let go vs. the shove even he has obviously potential candidates to bluff


PokerStars Zoom Hand #183865879190: Hold'em No Limit ($1/$2) - 2018/03/15 5:19:22 CUST [2018/03/14 23:19:22 ET]
Table 'Aenna' 6-max Seat #1 is the button
Seat 1: KKruchitAAs ($201 in chips)
Seat 2: endycrime ($504.59 in chips)
Seat 3: Klunken93 ($437.27 in chips)
Seat 4: geopaok4 ($1136.03 in chips)
Seat 5: kiljusieppo ($211.51 in chips)
Seat 6: HakkaZilla ($447.80 in chips)
endycrime: posts small blind $1
Klunken93: posts big blind $2
*** HOLE CARDS ***
Dealt to kiljusieppo [Jd Qd]
geopaok4: folds
kiljusieppo: raises $2.20 to $4.20
HakkaZilla: folds
KKruchitAAs: folds
endycrime: folds
Klunken93: raises $13.80 to $18
kiljusieppo: calls $13.80
*** FLOP *** [6c Tc 7d]
Klunken93: checks
kiljusieppo: bets $11.60
Klunken93: calls $11.60
*** TURN *** [6c Tc 7d] [Jh]
Klunken93: checks
kiljusieppo: checks
*** RIVER *** [6c Tc 7d Jh] [4c]
Klunken93: checks
kiljusieppo: bets $44.24
Klunken93: raises $363.43 to $407.67 and is all-in
kiljusieppo: calls $137.67 and is all-in
Uncalled bet ($225.76) returned to Klunken93
*** SHOW DOWN ***
Klunken93: shows [Jc Qc] (a flush, Queen high)
kiljusieppo: shows [Jd Qd] (a pair of Jacks)
Klunken93 collected $421.27 from pot
*** SUMMARY ***
Total pot $424.02 | Rake $2.75
Board [6c Tc 7d Jh 4c]
Seat 1: KKruchitAAs (button) folded before Flop (didn't bet)
Seat 2: endycrime (small blind) folded before Flop
Seat 3: Klunken93 (big blind) showed [Jc Qc] and won ($421.27) with a flush, Queen high
Seat 4: geopaok4 folded before Flop (didn't bet)
Seat 5: kiljusieppo showed [Jd Qd] and lost with a pair of Jacks
Seat 6: HakkaZilla folded before Flop (didn't bet)


H4)

Got kind of owned here. Think pio is raising this quite frequnt here as he cant really cb this text. with all broadway as a range bet vs. sofisticated opponent.

Facing the min3-b I felt this is flattable and we can make bluffs later on. However I start now doubting if he really use that size as bluff there. It would be kind of cheesy / asking for trouble but for value / induser makes way more sense as we can see by being results oriented.



PokerStars Zoom Hand #183867342548: Hold'em No Limit ($1/$2) - 2018/03/15 6:47:02 CUST [2018/03/15 0:47:02 ET]
Table 'Aenna' 6-max Seat #1 is the button
Seat 1: Lhtb007 ($200 in chips)
Seat 2: Plutsch ($405.39 in chips)
Seat 3: kiljusieppo ($200 in chips)
Seat 4: Matthew101 ($345.79 in chips)
Seat 5: knopfler_MAR ($209.40 in chips)
Seat 6: geopaok4 ($200 in chips)
Plutsch: posts small blind $1
kiljusieppo: posts big blind $2
*** HOLE CARDS ***
Dealt to kiljusieppo [6d Ac]
Matthew101: folds
knopfler_MAR: folds
geopaok4: folds
Lhtb007: folds
Plutsch: raises $4 to $6
kiljusieppo: calls $4
*** FLOP *** [7s 7d 5d]
Plutsch: bets $4
kiljusieppo: raises $9.70 to $13.70
Plutsch: raises $9.70 to $23.40
kiljusieppo: calls $9.70
*** TURN *** [7s 7d 5d] [4s]
Plutsch: bets $25.22
kiljusieppo: calls $25.22
*** RIVER *** [7s 7d 5d 4s] [Jh]
Plutsch: checks
kiljusieppo: checks
*** SHOW DOWN ***
Plutsch: shows [7h 9h] (three of a kind, Sevens)
kiljusieppo: mucks hand
Plutsch collected $106.49 from pot
*** SUMMARY ***
Total pot $109.24 | Rake $2.75
Board [7s 7d 5d 4s Jh]
Seat 1: Lhtb007 (button) folded before Flop (didn't bet)
Seat 2: Plutsch (small blind) showed [7h 9h] and won ($106.49) with three of a kind, Sevens
Seat 3: kiljusieppo (big blind) mucked [6d Ac]
Seat 4: Matthew101 folded before Flop (didn't bet)
Seat 5: knopfler_MAR folded before Flop (didn't bet)
Seat 6: geopaok4 folded before Flop (didn't bet)



H5)

Vs. fish: think this is wp. Im not really keen on trying to get him off Aces when its not out of the question he would call down with them in case FD miss. & he never folds 8x which he has abit aswell. If he floats other pairs we alot of times freeroll some equity aswell. Frustrating to fold to a gay bet on turn but happens .




H6)

I cant see a really nitty guy betting the flop a lot w. AK without draw or backdoor. He just x/fold them and uses that size for value I think and is unbalanced there. Aswell Im having two sets there and even AK is same here as the JJ so letting go of the JJ is fine I guess


I think for villain the board plays as a range check tbh.






Enough hands for today.

This month became a decent +4k month. I got back to solid exercise and Im getting more fit. Big picture looks good, however today when I started grinding I somehow ended being not disciplined and played 500zoom. Moved back to 200 after a while but basically whole day I was really unfocused, making poor plays with mindset of trying to win every pot. Such a weird day..

I made a change on my schedule by starting to take two day offs instead of one in a week. I think I need them to be able to recover and play better and have energy and passion to poker. My motivation to poker has always been strong and coming from inside, enjoying the game a lot, however lately ive felt like being burnout and getting constantly sick physically after turning pro and especcially while living in Asia. I think key factors are getting into healthier eating, reducing alcohol alot and getting proper rest. Aswell my social life in Asia has been quite poor. Other than seeing my girlfriend and sometimes going to casinos Im barely spending time with other people. Therefore I think its healthy to go home time to time for few months to be with family and friends.

Im starting to understand better how my outcomes are causes of longterm actions and how for being successfull I need to know what I want and know who I am. I think best outcomes come when your happy with your life. Ive been eager to win and make money but neglected my health and wellbeing a lot of times. Today how I played and how I read forums while grinding brought to my mind how I used to always do when I was breaking even zoom 50 player.

Some thoughts :

1) important is to enjoy life on a daily basis that gives energy which is important for everything

2) winning at a limit is easier than remaining as a winner. Thats why need to be humble and focused and work constantly to improve.

3) Im very results oriented and have a "cashier syndrome" checking my graph of session and daily results constantly. Have removed sessions report multiple times but never had discipline to keep it away. I want to have a strong mindset of seeing hands as a never ending "flow" where Im just like a captain who controlls the longterm flow with improving myself but who doesnt really mind the waves that rock the boat..

4) making promises to myself usually ends failing and causing dissapointment. I think building solid thinking patterns to figure out whats good for ones self helps more to change overall directions and becoming better with whatever it is you want to improve.

5) people who play similar limits or anyone who is keen to think and discuss whats important in life is welcome to send me a PM or share thoughts here!

Hope you had a great month and Gl in april!