I'll be honest, I had no idea this forum even existed until this past week when I had the pleasure of meeting the legend Dubnjoy000 in Mexico City (hereafter referred to as CDMX) and he mentioned it. I figured starting a thread would be a great idea not only to hold myself more accountable, but to share experiences, and put my thoughts to e-paper. I think we have a way of seeing things more clearly once we've had time to clear our heads and write about it after the fact.

A bit about me: 35 years old, from the USA, been in online poker since about 2004. I've had a lot of highs and lows, I made Supernova Elite on PokerStars in 2010 and had a couple good years, but it's mostly been marked by mediocrity since then. I would say my biggest issue is complacency. I thought poker would always be an easy way to make a quick buck and never really took advantage of the glory days. Even now I still struggle to put in many hours of play and study.

Looking at my 2018 log, my hours played per month are as follows: 63, 37, 50, 115, 0, 25, 40, 75, 36, 52, 76, 50

It's a bit embarrassing even writing out those #s. I think a reasonable goal would be 35 hours per week or about 140 hours a month, with 6 weeks a year of vacation, but I didn't achieve that even once.

As for life events, I'd lived in the USA until Black Friday in 2011, and have traveled a great deal since then. A year in New Zealand, 2 years in Montréal, 2 years in France, and now a year + in México.

I would say I've grown much more as a person in these last 8 years, than in the previous than in the previous 27 combined. I went from a shy dude who couldn't get laid to save his life, no real life experience, no real interests, etc. To a more confident, well-rounded individual, who now speaks French and Spanish, loves travel, yoga, and meditation, with an abundance of dating options.

In a lot of ways poker has been a double-edged sword. Dating back to my days in school, I always did the absolute minimum to make sure I got As, never really exerting myself much. I saw poker as a way to make decent money without needing to put in much effort. At first I studied a great deal, but then once I reached a certain level, I went on auto-pilot. OTOH, I credit poker with giving me the opportunity to know so many amazing places across the world, meeting new people, learning new languages, and finding poker/meditation, originally to help with tilt, but later for the numerous benefits in my daily life.

Back to my present situation. I've been grinding PLO 6-max on BetOnline for a couple years. At times when I've been undisciplined/lazy with my bankroll, I've been forced to grind .10/.25 and .25/.50 and at times I've worked my way up to 2/5 and dabbled in 5/10 (which is the highest the site offers).

Unfortunately, this week I was hit with the worst downswing of the last few years. Almost twice as bad in # of buy-ins lost as my 2nd worst. I did not react well. Towards the end I felt like I was almost giving away buy-ins. My confidence was shattered and I felt like it was pointless even starting up a session. In my personal life, I had a goal to meditate and practice yoga daily, but I stopped on the 26th, also deeming it "pointless". I usually eat pretty well, but didn't want to put anymore effort into that and have been eating garbage from UberEats every meal since then.

This is all unacceptable for me. As of now I have decided to get back to my solid habits: meditation, yoga, and eating well. I spent the whole day cleaning my apartment (symbolic for clearing my mind) and reading Silence by Thich Nhat Hanh. A lot of the book resonates with me and I would like to learn to dissociate my results at the poker table with the rest of my life. The main theme of the book being that in order to experience the thing in this life that can consistently make us happy, the present moment, we must be able to clear our minds of the pointless thoughts dwelling on the past and future and experience silence in our mind to make room for the sensations of the present.

Anyway, that is my introduction. I'll get into more specific goals for this thread and my life in the coming days, but I wanted to put this out there as a starting point, turning over a new chapter, and holding myself more accountable for my negative choices and laziness.

For those who are interested in reading more about CDMX and my dating/hookup exploits over the past year and a half, you're welcome to head over to my thread in the travel forum: Mexico City Thread

If only poker grinding had been going as well as Tinder grinding. And as far as CDMX, I've fallen in love with the city. My life is solitary in many respects, living alone, playing poker, meditating, and practicing yoga in my apartment, so I feel like the sensory overload of CDMX: the sounds, the culture, the history, the amazing food, brings a perfect balance to my life.

If you've made it this far, thanks for reading. I hope through my blog that some of you are able to learn from my travails or at least find some entertainment in some of the stories I will be sharing.

I'll leave you with a pic I took a couple days ago, 1 block from my apartment. It makes me happy to live near Paseo de la Reforma, 1 of the great avenues. And a pic of 85-year old future me.





Make it a great day!

I just wanted to share my all-time favorite quote. I was practicing a power yoga class from Travis Elliot, experiencing a very difficult pose when he said the following, which really resonated with me:

Up until now I have mostly shied away from challenges, but as I face the worst downswing of my career, instead of continuing to wallow in my own self pity, I am deciding to use it as my opportunity for growth. To continue to find what's actually important in life and to find my happiness not in the random flip of some playing cards, but in my experience of the present moment.

Of course in the grand scheme of things, a poker downswing is meaningless. It sort of feels like #firstworldproblems, but I need to start somewhere. So if I can face this downswing and come out a more rounded person on the other side, then I will be better armed to face more serious challenges that may some day arise.

For a bit of lighthearted, fun content. As far as dating, romantic conquests go, I'd say I'm finally in a more stable position and more open to the possibility of a long-term relationship. The past few years, I've kinda known that I'd only be spending a year or 2 in each country, which makes it a bit difficult to get locked into something serious. I've been in México since February 2018, and still love the country and feel like it's the place for me. I dated a Mexican girl from May to October of last year, but had to end it when our life views didn't quite align. Since then I traveled through Colombia and Perú for 3 months and met a bevy of interesting girls, and have been in CDMX using Tinder and Bumble like a madman.

My Tinder strategy is as follows: If I match with a girl and she seems really interesting and cute, then I will message normally and try to meet up for a more traditional first date (usually at a café). If I match with a girl and she's kinda cute, but doesn't quite pique my interest enough then I will tell her that I'm just looking for a FWB and enumerate the reasons why I would be a good candidate.

I've found CDMX to be a surprisingly open-minded and liberal city, much moreso than anywhere else in México. The responses to the 2nd tactic have been surprisingly positive up until now. I'd say about 60% politely decline or don't respond, 30% respond saying it sounds like a decent idea but we should get to know each first, and 10% respond enthusiastically.

So for now, my goal is to have a small rotation of FWBs who I get along with well and with whom I can blow off some steam, and at the same time go on a date or 2 each week with some of the more attractive candidates (usually cute girls who are into yoga, healthy living, and travel) with a stronger possibility of something serious developing.

As it stands now, I have 1 FWB who is just incredible. Best sex of my life, she usually stays over one night a week and I even asked her to accompany me on a 4-night trip about a month ago. I think she actually has some LTR potential and am debating testing the waters there and seeing how she reacts.

I've also seen 2 other FWBs over the past couple weeks, but they don't move the needle quite as much as the first girl and thus I've only seen each one 3-4 times over the past 3 months.

I matched with a girl who is pretty cute and has my ideal body type (I prefer girls on the slender side) who had a very enthusiastic response to my FWB proposal "I accept, let's do it. I like the idea". She's also really into sports, healthy living, and seems like a pretty cool girl. On second thought, she might actually be a FWB candidate if we meet and have good sexual chemistry.

Her pics:



The second is a LTR candidate. A yoga teacher who speaks perfect English and lives close by. In my head, I've always envisioned having a partner who shares my passions for yoga and travel. So when I meet a girl who is heavy into yoga or a yoga teacher, they have a big leg up on the competition. Unfortunately this one is going out of town, so I'll have to wait 2 weeks to meet up.

Her pics:




So that's the latest on the dating front. I'm hoping to meet candidate #1 sometime this week as well as another new FWB candidate. In keeping with the guidelines by which I hope to live my life, I'm always perfectly upfront and honest with each girl about what my expectations are in each particular relationship and respectful of her feelings and expectations as well. I would never deceive anyone to get what I want.

BTW, if these type of posts are looked down upon in the PGC forum, just let me know and I'll be happy to post this stuff in a more appropriate place.

Interesting post man, good luck with this.

This will be a fascinating journey to follow. Subscribed!

Questions: Can you post any graphs? Do you subscribe to RIO/JNandez? Do you use Monker? How bad of a downswing are you on?


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Also those are some solid catches you got there, congrats. What kind of photos/profile do you use to attract such good results?


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Been following your travel thread, didn't know you play PLO as well! I can absolutely relate to your mental state when on downswing. GL getting out of it, and tell me how you did it!

Thank you very much kind sirs!

I might post some graphs down the road.

I'm not currently subscribed. I usually drop in for a month every now and then to brush up. I subscribed again in June, but it ended in mid-July.

I've never got into Monker. Strongly debating it though, do you think it's worthwhile?

I've dropped just under 60 buyins in about 10k hands. Probably my most brutal at least in the last couple years just for how quickly I've dropped so many buyins. I'm also still at my valley, so I have to be mentally prepared that it might not be over.

Well, first of all being a white guy who speaks pretty solid Spanish and relatively tall at 182cm (which is really tall in México) with blue eyes are pretty big advantages in CDMX. There aren't too many normal gringos that live here long term and they are pretty sought after. I was in Colombia for 2 months and match quality was noticeably worse than CDMX, especially in Medellín. I think all the foreigners who have gone there for sex and drugs have really destroyed the rep on Tinder and it's more difficult to get quality matches. I also have some experience on Tinder in Lima, and you also get tons of matches there, but I think limeñas are a step down in terms of attractiveness, as well as other qualities, compared to chilangas (girls from CDMX).

My profile is nothing special, but drives home the point that I'm into yoga/meditation/healthy living and have a passion for travel, and displays my decent Spanish level. I'm of the opinion that it's better to really stand out to a small subset of women, than to have a meh profile that just kinda stands out to the general population. So I get lots of matches from other girls who are into travel, yoga, healthy lifestyles, etc. Which is perfectly fine by me b/c that's the desired result, and I don't drink much anyway and don't mind if the party girls aren't interested.

For pics I just use a couple travel photos that show me in interesting places around the world, a pretty standard photo showing my face, and a recent photo I took in a blazer nice AE shoes that seems to be pretty popular as it's received a number of comments. I think having a photo that shows you can dress well can be a pretty big boost.

I also use a line that I think is killing it b/c lots of women open me telling me they think it's funny, but maybe it's turning some women off too:

I'll stick with it for now, but hope it comes off more playful than just outright cocky.

Anyway, CDMX has been by far the best place I've ever been for Tinder (which includes a couple cities in USA, France, New Zealand, some spots in Latin America, etc.) both in terms of short-term hookup potential but also some amazing LTR prospects.

CDMX is surprisingly open-minded and liberal, much more so than basically anywhere else in México. My worry before coming here was that I would mostly be meeting poorer girls who were only interested in me as a way out or wanted me to take them back to the USA, but that hasn't been the case at all. I've met tons of very well educated girls (my ex was a yoga teacher and professor with 2 Masters and a PHD), who are well-traveled, speak 2-3 languages perfectly, and are well-versed in a wide array of cultural topics.

The stereotype is that Mexicans are very Catholic and have tons of kids, but it's been the complete opposite case in CDMX. I've met very few religious girls, it just isn't that popular here among young people and also very few women with a kid. It's way more common in Colombia or even my hometown of Omaha, Nebraska.

So, long story short, I'm very pleased with CDMX. In terms of women and food, it's been an A+. Weather is pretty solid, but not perfect. And the city is just oozing with culture and history. Sure there are rough parts, but it's easy enough to avoid them and the city is far more livable than any big city in USA/Canada. You can live very nicely on about a $1500/month budget and could probably go down to like $900ish and not sacrifice too much. I'm paying $800/month for a fully-furnished large 1BR with all bills included, located in the financial district near the Mexican stock exchage (shown below) and a bunch of nice skyscrapers (one of which unanimously won the award for most innovative skyscraper in the world last year).

Yah, it's been really brutal. One of those things where you start up a session and within minutes you're coolered or bad-beated and already kinda ****ed mentally and saying "here we go again".

I'm not out of it yet, but I feel like just writing out my thoughts, talking to people about it, and doing some Zen reading has helped me get my mind right. I've been on a 48-hour break from poker, but will probably get back to it tomorrow and I'm kinda excited to play which is weird b/c usually when I'm in a huge downswong I'm just dreading playing.

We'll see what happens. It's obviously one thing when I'm able to look at the situation now from a calm, balanced perspective and another once you're thrust into a difficult situation.

I played 1 session since my last post, 2 nights ago: 10 minutes, 40 hands, -5.5 buyins

Mostly standard PLO shove spots, and lost them all. Decided I'll just wait until tomorrow to get back into poker heavily and start with a fresh slate for August.

Goal is to play 150 hours for August. No set goal for results, I'd just like to play solid poker for the most part and know when to quit if I'm too tired or tilty. The results will take care of themselves as long as I put in the work.

Up and down results on the dating front as well. I was planning to meet to the baseball girl I mentioned before on Monday night. She was meeting a friend who happened to be in my area, so I was gonna meet her when she was done there then walk back to my place. At about 5:30PM she messages me telling me she was headed to her friends so I reply "cool, let me know when you're done and I'll come meet you." Haven't heard from her since.

Last night I met a girl for a more traditional first date. I don't drink much but decided to meet her at a bar. Interesting girl, I like her perspective on life and she's pretty big into yoga, which I like. 2 pretty big negatives for me: she drinks. A lot. Says she drinks 4-5 times a week and sometimes goes pretty hard. And when she drinks, she usually smokes. Smoking is a pretty big pet peeve of mine. The smell and the taste when you kiss a girl who's been smoking.

It's a shame b/c I quite like this one otherwise. She also lives alone (which is rare in Mexico) and has a great job and gets to travel a ton. But I'm not sure I can get past the smoking and heavy drinking.

Today I get to meet my FWB at 5. Pretty much the best FWB you could ever ask for. She doesn't bother me with messages, we basically only chat to set up our next meet, or sext a bit. She's always available and wanting to meet up when I ask. Absolutely amazing in bed with an insatiable appetite. Over a 24 hour period we often go at it 7-8 times. At times I think I'm exhausted, but she's so good at revving my engine that she can pull another 1-2 out of me. She's also down to do whatever outside the bedroom. I asked her to go to a lucha libre (wrestling) show with me, and she was totally down and enjoyed the hell out of it. I wanted to check out Guanajuato and San Miguel (2 cities about 4 hours from CDMX) and she was down and it was an amazing trip.

I'm really starting to like this girl beyond just a FWB and maybe wouldn't mind more, but she hasn't made any indication yet that she would like more. Sometimes when we're laying together, I test the waters a bit by making comments more on the romantic end, but usually she'll only respond with superficial comments. Oh well, for now I'm thoroughly enjoying the setup we have and not ready to say anything that might rock the boat. And at the same time, I've been testing the waters with Tinder to see what else is out there. Will probably have a date lined up for the weekend and a couple more next week. Usually I can only handle a couple weeks of heavy dating before I'm burned out. We'll see.

Good on you for quitting as soon as you recognized the tilt. Probably saved youraelf another 5.5 buyins.

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As far as this FWB goes what exactly do you mean by wanting more? Do you just wanna see her more often or do you wanna put a title on it?

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Are you independently wealthy? Do you have other sources of income? Do you have a large emergency fund?

PLO swings are very real and not having winning stretches is a real thing and I’m curious at how you deal with it.


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PLO has given me the worst downswing I have ever had and I was blessed enough to have one happen followed by another one immediately right after.

For me, the only thing to do was take a break and take time to rid yourself of all the self doubt that accumulates when nothing seems to make sense.

Then go right back and play through it.

For the winning player volume is the key.




Good luck. Mexico does seem nice.

What's the worst downswing youve had. I am transitioning from nlhe and these plo downswing stories are scaring me lol

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Great post mate keep sharing your experiences! It will be a pleasure seeing your posts.

Yah, felt like I wasn't gonna be in the right mind-state if I continued so might as well take a break

I wouldn't mind a more traditional relationship with this girl.

No, to the first 2 questions. I have enough saved up so that if I don't win for awhile it won't put me in crisis mode. I think anyone considering going pro should always have at least 6 months living expenses saved up in case they hit an extended rough patch. I can't imagine the stress one would have going through a downswing, but needing to make money just to make rent.

Totally agree with your thoughts and that's a great quote. I feel like I'm closer to getting there than I was in the past, but there's still lots of work to do on the mental game.

Glad you enjoyed them!

Thread's probably more interesting with graphs, so here's my July:



Ended up playing 60 hours. Currently on close to a 65 buyin downswing from my peak in just over 10k hands. Hopefully the worst of it is over.

FWB just left a little while ago and I'm ready to put in the work for August and hopefully the results will take care of themselves. Goal is 150 hours of tilt-free poker.

August Progress (Goal 150 hours): 0/150

Just read OTB Red Baron’s poker challenge thread. He says he went through a 70 buy-in downswing at one point. So 65 is rough but even the best can occasionally go through a similar rough patch.


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Yah, PLO's a pretty sick game so downswings like this are to be expected. Thinking about it logically away from the tables I know that it's just part of the game, but once you're at the tables, it's tougher to stay level-headed and you start to question your game.

August is off to a decent start. I lost my first 4 all-ins (2 flips, way ahead, and way behind), but it barely even affected me and I was able to grind back to a +4 buyin profit. Not a massively profitable session, but I think important from a mental standpoint to stay focused rather than immediately start thinking "here we go again" after a rough start.

August Progress (Goal 150 hours): 3.6/150

I think one of my FWBs really misses me! :/

She says "I had a wet dream. And it was you."

I feel kinda bad. I first met her a couple months ago and we've met up maybe 4 times. I can tell she would like something weekly or maybe even a bit more, but I often feed her excuses. She's pretty good in the sack, but just average looks. She can also meet up from 11PM-2AM which works pretty well with my schedule, but I think I'm never satisfied and always on the lookout for something better, even if it's just a FWB. (Except for the other FWB I mentioned before, she's incredible and I would always make time for her).

I thought I would grow out of this phase where I'm always looking for new conquests with age, but it hasn't really been the case. While I enjoy the familiarity of a consistent partner, it's proven fairly easy to find interested girls in CDMX and there's not much that can compare to the very first time with a new partner. It's like being 10 years old all over again and opening a huge X-mas present.

On Tinder some of my super likes have converted into matches, but now I just need a bit of run good and convert those matches into dates. It's very difficult to hold the interest of the top tier girls. Sometimes they give you 1 or 2 responses, but then go cold. The nice thing about CDMX is that you could have a date with a 6 or 7 (and the occasional top tier girl) every night of the week if you wanted. I go through periods where I'll have 4 dates a week and then others where I feel burned out and go 2 weeks just hanging out with a FWB or 2. Lately I've been in a picky mood and am only meeting new girls if they have an incredible profile or are really attractive, as well as the occasional FWB candidate.

Thx for the shoutout bro, and it was great hanging out as well I am pretty sure our paths will more than likely cross again as well...

Man, that sucks for this recent downswing I have been dealing with a long term one myself, albeit not a downswing, but have been running significantly under EV online for the past year and as much as I pride myself with my tilt-control, it gets to you after a while...

Your first pic in your OP is epic af GL on the lady front, the FWB seems like a cool chick. Peace

How do you answer the age old question: what do you do for a living?


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+1 do you put it on your tinder page?

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I don't put it on my Tinder profile, but usually I try to mention it early on in a convo. I figure it's better to get it out of the way early and if it weeds out some LTR candidates, better to find out she has an issue with poker now rather than after we've met. If it's just a FWB candidate, then there's no need to bring it up.

I usually try to paint it in a positive light when I mention it "I've been an online poker pro for 10 years. It's been great b/c it's given me the opportunity to travel a lot and live in CDMX b/c I can work from home".

As for August grinding (on the felt), I just had an absurdly good session. Such a sick game where you can lose and lose and think you know nothing, then immediately start hitting everything in sight and feel like a genius.

August Progress (Goal 150 hours): 9/150

Graph for the month so far: