News?

November 4, 2018
Las Vegas, NV



When things are good, you can see no other way of living; when things are in ruins, there appear a million solutions for how this fate could have been avoided.
- The Association of Small Bombs (Karan Mahajan)



I have told myself I would sit down and update this thread for a while, but my ultimate motivation came from the extra full hour we gained from daylight savings. **** the haters, daylight savings always came through clutch for me in college - getting an extra hour of sleep one random monday in fall.

The first of these three updates is actually a blast back to college (smooth segue) with my friends from BC arriving in Las Vegas during the weekend of the McGregor / Khabib fight.

Part two involves a list of bulleted list regarding my experiences in Michigan and Texas over the next two weeks.

Finally, some updates with where I am now.

Columbus Day Las Vegas Trip

SFO > LAS
JFK > LAS
JFK > LAS
TUS > LAS

There are five or six of us in all: four friends I made at Boston College and myself are in Las Vegas for the serious business, while my younger brother meets up with us for the Drake concert.

I pick up Carl from pole 1 of a very crowded passenger pick-up at McCarran Airport. With the short flight from Tuscon, he is the first of my college friends to arrive. It is 10:20pm on Friday night. One of the reasons we love Las Vegas: everyone is in the room together just after midnight and the night is just beginning.

Hard liquor hits fast and by 1 AM we ended up at the Cortez. Always a degen way to begin a Vegas trip, my friends insist on heading downtown first as it had been the source of some miracles in the past. I'm playing greens and cannot manage to go up or down more than two hundred in the double deck game. We shoot the **** over g&ts for an hour or so before realizing that people were too tired to take tonight seriously. So much for the energy in the air two hours ago.

We hit the Uber to Pho Kim Long and people-watched for two hours over pho / sake. By 4 am we came to the realization our group's relationship with the Cortez was very different just a year later; we could not find a reason to go downtown again. I ended up $40 on the night after tips and food.



The next morning starts off with college football as we watch every single one of our picks burn in flames (I distinctly recall OU getting blasted by UT and LSU as the big games that weekend screwing us).

I try to recoup some losses quickly playing $50/hand blackjack at Caesar's, but cannot get up or down too much before splitting aces twice and losing all four hands twice at $100/pop. Down $700 in BJ, and not planning to blow too much doing -EV betting since travel was upcoming, I decided to call it. The rest of the afternoon I spent relaxing at Caesar's sportsbook like a tipsy sports degen. At least I refrained from the hail mary horse race parlays this time.

Dinner that Saturday night was craftsteak at MGM - a choice made purely out of convenience as the Drake concert would be held at the MGM Garden later that night. Craftsteak really came through big time and surprised me with the value for a very good steakhouse; they have a course menu that's perfect for large groups. We ended up with an insane amount of food



Drake concert lived up to expectation. My friends knew he'd come out late, so we arrived four hours after doors opened and got there right in time for the UFC fight in the stadium streamed for us, a nice touch.




After Drake, we went back to our rooms to change and shower..

but first, we first hit the Rio. Within a forty minute stretch after the Drake concert at the Rio, I personally dust off another $600 on BJ and $500 on craps (after being up $500) and the whole group takes individual losses. I walk across the street with Andrew and I lose another $400 at the Gold Coast for some dumbass reason. We finally make it back to our rooms and I nap then shower. Drizzy ****ed McGregor and that misfortune spread to us.



Three hours later. Starting at the Cromwell down $2200 on gambling thus far. The table we sit at collectively cold decks the **** out of me and I'm down $300 playing greens within the first shoe. The dealer is taking an absurd amount of time to do basic blackjack **** (dealers: i really enjoy when you slowroll the blackjack after you see it in the mirror!) and I'm basically on blackjack tilt. My friends convince me to keep playing because it's only 12:45 and the night would end too soon without gambling.

Like a warrior, I persevere.

A quick table change gives me my perfect dealer: she was young, blonde, and ~quirky~. Naturally funny. But most importantly, she dealt fast. Over the span of her down I was +$1500, an incredible comeback to the previous two hours.



A couple hours, some pleasant lounging, and a few drinks later, two friends and I decided on that 4-am sorta-empty walk down Las Vegas Boulevard. We hit every single casino that offered 3:2 blackjack: the Cromwell, Flamingo, Harrah's, Linq, Mirage, TI, and ubered from the Venetian to the Wynn. Some highlights:

A friend going on insane tilt at the Flamingo of all places (lol) and we lost him for ~20 minutes after his phone died. He bounced back with solid blackjack wins the rest of the trip up until 10 minutes before his uber to the airport, at which point he dusted off a few hundred more. Unlucky

Me winning or breaking exactly even at literally every single casino we visited, except the Venetian. I played 0 but wasted an incredible amount of time as multiple pit bosses at the V claimed that "no casino on the strip has $50 3:2 on a Saturday night" despite all parties involved knowing that statement to be complete donkeydick. I don't mind being coy but outright lying was a bit of a turn off from those guys, so we ended the night at the Wynn playing $25 and $50 3:2 on a Saturday night.

Running like god at Treasure Island with some vino'd up middle aged women bemoaning the fact they'd have to wake up and bring their kids to school tomorrow (tomorrow being a Sunday went unnoticed in the room). Also lit was the fact that the $25 tables at TI were in the High Limit room so we got pretty good drink service.

Running like god at the Wynn and Encore playing blackjack. Once again, I do have to give it up to the Encore: even at their small sports book, they have two menu options that were both pretty solid. I particularly enjoyed the stir fry noodles - my judgment tbf may have been clouded by the fact I was up. Wynn buffet rated as slightly better than Bacchanal for me - I liked the meats, carbs, and desserts better at the Wynn, and I'm not a big seafood eater.



if u talk **** about what i get at the buffet i’ll cry

back-to-back blackjacks on $200 bets, then splitting aces to get 21 / 21 and holding. going down $500, then up $1500 at the Encore before backsliding $500 and pocketing a $1000 win in the span of 30 minutes.



Watching the NFL games with the boys. Plus, the Monday Night Special coming through.




Ultimately, no real debauchery this weekend. Mostly gambling, eating, and lounging made for a much chiller experience as we avoided the frenetic pace set by previous trips. I ended +$1800 in blackjack, even in sports, -$500 in craps, -$350 at craftsteak, -$300 for two Drake tickets, and -$300 for lodging. This came after being in the hole nearly $3000 from blackjack/sports/craps combined.

LAS > DTW > AUS > LAS




PLO at Motor City on a thursday morning. Detroit pros literally have the softest games in the world; i would actually consider living here if i were a $5/10 reg as the COL is dirt cheap, the regs are so bad, the food/bar scenes are great, and there are so many spewy degens.
in for a little, out for a lot.



PLO HHs:
$2/5/$10 straddle on
I get AA26sddh and pot/4b pot after someone 3b pot from SB. I stack off on 543sssJd vs 33 and hold.

I get in top straight with flush redraw vs bottom two pair OTT and hold.

Seeing Wisconsin/Michigan at The Big House



Finally ran bad! and spewed off over $2k at Texas Card House in Austin. was on a massive weekend bender with an old friend and the alcoholic psychos who work at Oracle. they live a very boozy lifestyle, but early 20s cest la vie i guess.



don’t remember much of this weekend at all but i do have a couple bad beats:
AA vs KK vs AQo for $2700 pot. flop QQ7 lol
get in straight / two pair vs FD and both times lose. ran $600 river 3b bluff blocking nuts and got tank called by 2nd nuts

Austin was awesome though, the BBQ is obviously on another level but the bar for every restaurant is unbelievable




Quick highlights of Austin: the bar scene up and down 6th street (including a hectic friday night in some increasingly youthful bars on dirty 6th), La Barbecue, spending all of Saturday roaming various college-themed bars and cheering for the home teams, almost winning Mega Millions (I hit two of six numbers!!), margarita festival as a way to start off our day right, and the austin water shortage forcing ppl to bring their own water bottles to restaurants.

living your best life, nice updates man!

ty for the support. first session since I got back to Vegas; I’ve been busy with tutoring as it’s law school application season!

friday evening, had a short session after dinner at the Bellagio, playing $5/10.

main hands:
4b AJss mp vs co flat / btn squeeze and I get folds

a lot of folding medium PPs that bricked multi-way

A2ss from BB. $20 straddle already mucked out of turn. BTN minraise to $30, SB makes it $85, I call, BTN fold.
842s flop. SB bets $85, I make it $230, he calls.
5r turn checks through as I intend to give up.
2 river and i suck out. SB bets $300 and i jam for a few hundred more. he tank folds after 8 minutes, and after berating me for “playing with my phone at least 5 times during the hand.” millennials and their adhd ??? he seemed upset and tilted his stack off jamming T4 otr no pair no draw a few hands later. sucks he didn’t call me with his JJ or whatever

i got moved to the main game after an hour and a half and the table seemed terrible. picked up and left before paying time.

overall felt sharp. only one or two decisions went poorly; i’ve resolved to clicking the fold button a lot more vs unknowns and it’s been very useful.

Goals by next Sunday night:
Begin booking my winter tutoring schedule, play two sessions of $5/10, get in five days at the gym, and finish one new book. I’m between starting Little Fires Everywhere, Pachenko, a book on body language, or Sour Heart.

also itt, plz post pics of slips betting on BC to beat Clemson on Saturday

Found and caught up on the thread this morning, love the content and you write beautifully. Looking forward to a great year with this!

Bellagio $5/10/20



Dad: "Before you play another song, I-, I-d love to know why the pauses matter so much to you."

Lincoln: "In 'Rearrange Beds' by an Horse, there's a 2-second pause from 3:40 to 3:42, and unlike a lot of songs, where you basically know the song's not over even though the pause makes you wonder if maybe it is, with 'Rearrange Beds' it really, truly sounds like-"

"Stop!" Dad shouts. "Stop. Please. Forget I asked."

Lincoln starts to cry. His crying makes sounds like scraping...

Mom's face is white and furious. She leans close to Dad and says very softly: "The pause makes you think the song will end. And then the song isn't really over, so you're relieved. But then the song does actually end, because every song ends, obviously, and THAT. TIME. THE. END. IS. FOR. REAL."
- Jennifer Egan, a visit from the goon squad



I feel like I've been in a pause in my own life lately. My day-to-day has stabilized and I'm beginning to get into a routine. It sucks to begin making the hard / less gratifying decisions on a regular basis like choosing to read instead of play xbox, getting to the gym, eating less junk, carving out time to meditate - I go through these periodic re-adjustment habits every so often. A book, The Power of Habit, helped me greatly to identify how to built habits that sustain over the long-term; I know that in a week or so I'll feel good about my routine and can begin adding to it (ideally, yoga.)

But more generally I don't have any set goals or end-points beyond "be happy, try to make money." I'm mostly succeeding at both but highs haven't been too high lately, or they come with a catch. I like a girl who likes me back. We live on opposite sides of the country, which is its own special low-intensity form of emotional pain. The last two live poker sessions have been relatively short and nitty, but I haven't had to fade a single card for my stack and both nights were profitable. Crypto is flat.

To be fair: my lows haven't been too low, either. Suck outs are coming in pots that have been controlled and I'm not firing that third barrel when I know I'm not going to get a fold. It has been tough finding places in Las Vegas that are both furnished and have leasing options for ~6-7 months, so I may just end up using airbnb and eating the premium that comes with that service.

My friends all have jobs, or school, and responsibilities and lives. Almost all of my friends live in other cities with other lives surrounding them. The transient nature of the last few years have meant that there is not much left for me in Las Vegas. This loneliness / introspective period / panic! at the disco full-blown meltdown phase (?) contrasts with the improvements that I'm trying to make in my own life. I'm contented with this balance as I can view it as the sort of pause I needed to regroup mentally. That said, I am dreading the idea that this lulls into the holidays and winter as it becomes more difficult to travel and visit friends with the standard familial obligations.

In the straddle and facing five limps, I peek the corners of the seven/deuce of clubs. Lethal in the wrong hands, I pop it to $140. Only the button calls, but quickly gets out of the way with a groan after I continue for $100 on QJJ. I show to no aplomb. A grin from seat nine and nobody else blinks; the guy who folded shook his head but quickly got transported from the must move to the main game and racked up. Another quick session at the Bellagio with a nitty table. The arrival of two more backpack + large headphone wearing young guys to my left made me rack up after just two hours. I feel like I spent just as much time waiting for a table as I did playing.

A fitting session, a pause to build tension. Fireworks are coming in the next session.

Some other hand histories & potpourri

I opened AQo utg to $30, four callers, BB makes it $200. We're about $1400 effective and I really didn't want to play for stacks vs a player whom I had not seen get out of line yet. I made a kind of nitty fold, but maybe that's a decent spot to pop it to $510 then fold to jam?

UTG vs BB. I defend 87s, flop middle pair on A8x and it checked through. I called $50 on a 6 turn and led $140 on the 7 river. i got called and was good. don’t usually have a river lead range but the board was such that x/r was too thin with just 2p.

JJ in SB. Two limps to CO who makes it $50, I 3bet to $200, he calls. $1500 effective. Flop AT8: I check/call $140. Jh turn bringing backdoors checks through. River 7h completing a lot of weird stuff, but I still spy some value. I bet $200 and get the quick call, but I'm good.

In general, I have tried to fold to three bets, especially OOP, in spots I used to call loose; this has been saving me a lot of money at the cost of playing 2-4 fewer hands/hr. Ya it sucks to be the nit who folds suited connectors on the button facing UTG open / MP 3b, but postflop is a lot simpler. also im done spazzing with suited garbage! this is a surefire sign that my mental is in check!!

I'm happy with my tutoring but I need to grow my client base a little bit for winter. Some avenues I've explored to advertise include putting flyers up around UNLV, and tutoring-specific sites like Wyzant. Wondering if a craigslist ad is worth it and I'll probably write/post one some time soon, but if anyone has experience with this sort stuff I'd love to hear about it.

I made s'mores the outdoorsy way at my friend CJ's house last week over a fire pit. We used the standard graham cracker / large marshmallow combination but opinions on chocolate varied wildly. I liked dark with almonds on my own and found white / milk to both be a little bit too sweet. Hoping this becomes a regular activity. Possibly regressing in maturity.

Lakers @ Kings is going to be exciting tomorrow! I like how BI, Hart, and Lonzo have looked thus far, although Luke's half-court offense leaves a lot to be desired. Defense still MIA of course. Sacramento's core of Fox+Buddy+WCS is nasty, unsure of Bagley. Lakers need to start picking up wins if they want to make the playoffs. I have a SoCal trip on the horizon, but maybe I should wait to catch them at an away stadium as it'd be cheaper?



Thank you!

After Friday night’s session, I wanted to clock some more hours at the table while my game felt sharp. I was back at the Bellagio on both Saturday and Sunday nights. This post will be poker heavy; I know some of my readers are less familiar with the dynamics of live poker so I’ve tried to be descriptive beyond HHs.

Players tend to utilize a lot of heuristics to process the wide amount of information provided by other people at the table. How they play is by far the most important factor but most of the time you simply don’t know how people play as you’ve never seen them before. Some factors to consider beyond the game: race/origin/accent, body language, clothing/tattoos/hair/watches, what they talk about and with whom, how interested they are in hands they aren’t in and where they look, whether they procure their buy-in to the game with chips, cash, or with the help of a host (unusual for $5/10 at the B), and of course - what they drink. To some extent, all of these factors affect what people might variously call the mental side / feel / intuition / metagame. My perception of how others view me at the table is often important as well, although I don’t ever feel the need to take it so far as to be fake. I can at times be a little spaced out at the table though, especially if I’m up a decent amount and card dead.

Sent to one of the $5/10 feeder games, I sat down to an interesting table with: some older tourists who were up after long sessions; two friends who seemed bad; an older, wealthy, asian man who is well known by Bellagio regs; one better euro pro in a scarf and pokerstars jacket waiting for the seat he’d take later in the raised area; a man with tattoos up and down his arms and fingers. The table was exciting as far as poker conversations go - a few players drank beer and talked non-poker topics. I had hit my calorie count with my grandma’s lemongrass pork chops two hours earlier and stuck to water. The Bellagio gives players bottles of Fiji, which I always thought to be a nice touch.

The must-move ended up being pretty action heavy. The tourists were limp/calling pretty wide so there were a lot of raises and three bets to go around, and about half the table was straddling. I got stuck a couple hundred early after seeing flops and bricking with both AThh and 76s. I then 3b T9cc SB vs EP limp, MP open and BTN flat; MP four bet huge and I snap folded feeling chastised for trying to steal one. I changed my iPhone playlist, ordered green tea, and refocused a little bit. Some HHs:

$5/10/20 $1400 effective
I’m in the straddle with A7o. The older asian guy in a striped sweater raised EP to $60, I call.
Flop T84r with backdoors I check/call $90 after a short deliberation. Against some slightly tighter players, this is where I’d be putting in the x/r as my ace high becomes relatively weaker.
Turn 6x I check to see MP put out $260 with little hesitation. I snap shove for ~$1000 more, about 2x pot. I think I have a superb board to do this on from my call in the straddle. I wasn’t expecting this guy to fall so deep into the think tank; we waited at least four minutes before he openfolded a Ten.

T4cc in the big blind. Five limpers to me and I check to a QT6 flop with two clubs and the Ten of spades. It checks through to the older touristy guy in middle position who puts out a bet to $60. I call to see the beautiful 4 of spades on the turn. I check/call again for $140, and x/c again on the 9s river for $280. The river sizing was a little weird and left the tourist with a little less than $600 behind, but I wasn’t sure if he bet for value with worse, much less would call with worse. He showed QJo.

AQo in CO. MP has been playing super tight preflop and watching Asian-subtitled movies on his Samsung, so his open to $40 had me less inclined to three bet than normal. I elected to flat and we went heads up to a flop of AK9. He continued for $80 and I called. He bet $170 on a 7r turn and $300 on a board-pairing and ultimately counterfeiting 9, as I called off river after some deliberation. He showed A6o for the chop and my read proved off; my river call felt tough as I expected him to check behind with a lot of mediocre Ax hands.

Eventually got moved to a main game on the rail by the bar closest to the sports book. Those of you familiar with the layout of the room will know this area smells like tobacco smoke the worst. The rancor in the air extended to the table mood, as the main game had:

same older man from the A7 hand,
two poker grinders who knew each other. i use the term grinder to refer to grown men who bring backpacks to a ****ing poker room and settle into the headphones as soon as they sit down,
me,
young trendy asian woman engrossed with / typing on phone six inches from her face during the entire time i was at the table. she played one hand but sat on $5k,
two omega nits who limp folded or limp called exactly once every orbit,
bad reg,
(handsome!) european pro-type. made excellent decisions in the two hands he showed down.

I played for a while after I got moved but could not make anything happen. It sucks to get moved from a lively feeder to a quiet main game after midnight on a weekend night, but the session was solid overall.



My brother ended up down about $150 playing $1/$3. He cashed the greens and threw $100 on hard six on the way out the door. Hit it on the first roll.



Back in this B on Sunday night after the Laker game and I took a seat at $2/$5 while waiting (40 minutes) for a $5/10 seat to open up.

$2/$5/$10
96hh on the button. EP calls the straddle, HJ bumps to $50, I three-bet to $135, EP calls, HJ folds. I check behind all three streets on QJ732 and get shown AQ.

$2/$5.
AKo on the button. Wealthy Asian man to my immediate right opens to $15 over a limp, I bump to $55, he calls.
AJ7hh flop he leads $30 and I raise to $80, he calls.
5x turn he x/calls my bet of $100.
Kx river he x/tank folds to another bet of $100.

Something unusual happened when I got moved to the $5/10 game: a table of poker players acted like ****ing morons. As I’m sitting down and not yet dealt in, preflop heats up and results in a four way all-in with two short stacks and two big: AA vs AKs vs AKo vs some garbage. For some insane reason they ran a four-way all-in twice, and the second board ran out QJxxT to create a situation in which AA won the first board and both AK hands chopped the second. AA covered the table, but the confusion came when half the table started advocating for a “3 way chop” to the dealer, who was correctly quartering the pot and side-pots. It took like 10 minutes and two different floor men to sort out what should have been pretty simplistic math. The main issue lies with myself; I let the hold up affect me mentally and I certainly played frustrated and impatiently.

$5/10/$20
K4dd in the small blind. I open to $60 off $1500, BB calls and covers, straddle calls with $400 back. SB is the same PS-jacket wearing pro waiting for $20/40 to open up, straddle is some random guy playing for fun.
Flop 652dd. I check, BB bets $120, straddle folds, I raise to $360, BB piles like $2700 for good measure. I’m definitely surprised and I have to fold.

At some point I bluff shoved 76hh UTG vs Straddle for like 40bb effective, got called by KQo and we chopped by running twice and winning one board each.

Tried to shake off a bad poker night with craps like my brother had the night before. I wish I could give a better account of what happened but to be honest I have only the most basic knowledge of how craps works and don’t know any of the jargon. All I know is that every time I play craps, I end up with hundreds of $$ in chips on the table at one time and every time I play craps, I crap out.

Except tonight. An elderly woman to my left had a lengthy roll and hit three straight 4s after setting those as the points consecutively. My brother came through with a clutch string of 7s/11s as well. I did lose like $300 betting hard 6s inspired by his hit last night, but after an hour shooting dice I finished completely unstuck - even a small profit - after playing like dog**** at $5/10. Ultimately, I don’t want to celebrate the craps story too much; while I appreciate getting bailed out of a deep rut, I am trying to curtail -ev gambling.



The mental aspect of poker may be the one I have appreciated the least. I think poker skill is often conflated with flashy moves and crushing huge pots, but making a living based in part off poker requires a more expansive definition. To live comfortably, facets like bankroll management, tilt control, game selection, and volume seem like much more valuable skills than the difference between someone who is capable of triple range merge river 4 betting and someone who isn’t. Tonight I let mental frustration tilt me and I resolved to improve my worst. I need focus on playing my A-game longer and avoiding C- effort, for if I can’t conquer my own emotions, I won’t beat anyone the table.

Going to need to run good in a lot of ways this month. Expect some more Bellagio work and a personal update in the next post.

Couldn't agree more with this - it speaks volumes.

Stay away from the table games!

“Cease, cows. Life is short.”
- Gabriel Garcia Marquez (One Hundred Years of Solitude)

In this post I alternate between the hands I have played during the last couple weeks and some larger events that should place my sessions against the context of my life. It was a challenge to weave a narrative arc through the natural swingy-ness of live poker despite the organic nature with which I can write my personal stories.

Maybe I could have edited this a little bit tighter but if you’re this deep in the thread, you ought to know that I love to overwrite. To steal a line from Wittgenstein: I should have liked to produce a good post. It may not turn out that way, but the time is past in which I could have improved it.



Bellagio $5/10
November 15, 2018

I made an attempt to play poker on Thursday without going through my pre-session routine. It was miserable and I played like human garbage. I tried to lock in, put AirPods in and took AirPods out, and even went to the bathroom at one point to splash my face with water. Ultimately, I felt fried after back to back tutoring sessions and I couldn’t kickstart my brain into being useful.

QQ second hand after sitting. Middle aged man eating sour gummy bears from a large bag with chopsticks limps MP, I raise SB to $60, BB and MP call.
We go three ways to a flop of K42r and I check/call MP’s bet of $60, then his turn bet of $130 on an off suit 9, and finally I tank fold to him popping $600 on an 8 OTR. He shows A6.

Raised to $30, 4b shoved A5dd vs SB squeeze to $120 with $300 left back. He never showed as I made top pair OTF, nut flush & rolled over OTT. Probably the only hand I win all night and it’s mostly luck.

BTN opens to $40, I call from BB with AJo. I x/c $50 on a 333 flop. After an 8 hits the turn, I check/raise BTN bet of $130 to $340. After a 2 river I continue for $480 and get called by 86cc.

A couple hands later before i rebuy, i get dealt Q9hh and butcher the hand so bad I instead rack up and leave.
EP opens to $40, BTN calls, I call from the big blind.
JJ3hh flop checks through.
I lead $100 on a 5x turn, BB raises to $300, BTN calls, and I have no idea wtf to do with $700 more back. Eventually I call, brick river, and check/fold.

Overall: yikers. Some days make me feel like I just ****ing suck at poker. Some months, even...



Tuscaloosa
April/May 2018

Things fall apart in my life the way a hot glass baking tray shatters when dropped into a cold sink. That is, I’m trying to be poetic about the fact that when **** hits the fan for me, a lot of it tends to splatter across pearly white walls. On rare occasion, life will pile up things I might be able to handle individually until they feel collectively impossible. The stress with which I struggle to cope leads to a special sort of self-destruction.

Over the past spring, I taught LSAT classes while commuting between Tuscaloosa and Baltimore. Yes, TestMasters devised the worst ****ing schedule imaginable - I taught class in Tuscaloosa on Monday and Wednesday 6-10pm and Baltimore on Thursday and Sunday 6-10pm, in addition to my irregular tutoring, academic support, and god forbid I wanted to prep new material for my classes. I was paid less than minimum wage for my travel time yet those hours counted against my 40 hour cap each work week, dragging my salary down. Dragging might not be as accurate a verb as torpedoing - the travel time was the main reason I quit.

I would teach in Tuscaloosa on Wednesday until 10pm, get back to my apartment to sleep immediately, wake at 5am to drive the 75 minutes to Birmingham because Tuscaloosa had no airport, take an indirect flight connecting through Atlanta or Charlotte to Baltimore, arrive in Baltimore by 3:30ish, have to get my rental car and check into my hotel, then be ready to teach my Baltimore class Thursday at 6pm. Then I’d stay in the Baltimore hotel alone until Sunday night, at which point I’d do the same routine in reverse to get back to Tuscaloosa for Monday’s class.

During these months of heavy commutes, I had little opportunity to socialize or take time for myself. Time spent wasting away in ****ty hotels at 1am didn’t count toward my pay and I had no routines as my schedule and flights changed each week. I felt my weight creeping up as I subsisted on places that deliver past 11pm (mostly a LOT of pizza, if you’re wondering). I broke up with my long-distance girlfriend after I started taking her emotional support for granted. And this is just the stuff within my own control.

I had some measure of agency over whether those actions occurred. At the same time, a big pile of **** got dropped into my lap. I felt the immense pressure of wanting different members of my immediate family in jail. I have always held people who get DUIs in extremely low regard - how to reconcile that with someone so close to me and someone whom I loved getting caught behind the wheel high off fentanyl and cocaine? Roughly a month later, I discovered another family member had stolen my identity and took out a healthy portion of credit card debt. Relatives much older than me started calling me for loans / cash despite not even knowing specifics of my poker or job because I’d made the mistake of trusting these people with the simple fact I was doing well.

So I felt some pressure. I have talked about my return home to Las Vegas from Tuscaloosa/Baltimore in this space before, but my implosion during WSOP-time was spectacular. I didn’t cash a single live tournament, broke even playing $5/10, and didn’t have any work from my company. The signs of a month-long depression took hold. I stayed up later and avoided the Las Vegas summer sun as much I could.

The best way I can describe it is that I knew I was going to be angry or sad every single night when I would lay down for bed. I could not sleep without thinking about my declining poker bankroll, my family, the fact my job was going to stress me out again with an upcoming Sacramento / Spokane assignment, somehow again finding myself splitting time between two ****holes that aren’t connected by direct flight. Going to bed drunk or high seemed like a good way to avoid that problem - I might have downed more Pacificos during a four week stretch than any other gringo in history.

There is no cathartic ending to this story. I’m still dealing with the legal fallout from the identity theft today. I still get hounded for $40 here, $100 there by people who have otherwise shown me lots of love. I only stopped smoking and drinking so much because I actually had to leave Vegas for Sacramento after a month and I care(d) too much about my students to let my vices affect my work performance. I dumped what was left of my BR into repaying my undergrad loans and quit poker.



“I’m not superstitious, but I am a little stitious.”
- Michael Gary Scott

Wynn $2/$5
November 16, 2018

After my last session bombed, I resolved to come back strong the next day, and the Encore was the venue of choice after my brother and I had dinner at Mizumi. I’m not a sushi person but their oh toro was very good and I was happy with each item on the sashimi plate my brother ordered except for the salmon.

Anyway, I tried to go into the Wynn session with a better mindset than I did the Bellagio. That meant putting in the work before I got to the casino: exercise (often basketball or lifting) and meditation. I like to light a candle, set soft music, and map my vision for a successful evening/night. This is some of my favorite time in each day, whether I’m forced to rush through the steps in five minutes or I allow my mind meander through a half hour. I may start incorporating Primed Mind back into this as I did in San Diego, and thought it was effective.

ya ofc despite doing both, I still got crushed anyway

AQo in BTN. Two limps, MP makes it $25, CO calls, I repop to $110, MP calls.
T98hh flop I bet $130, MP x/calls.
Ts turn MP checks and I give up.
5s river he jams I fold.

AQo in SB. BTN opens to $15, I make it $60, he calls.
KJ7ss flop I bet $95, he calls.
9r turn I bet $175, he calls.
3x I check, he jams, I fold.

ATss on the button. CO limps, I make it $20, both blinds and CO call.
T83hhh flop. Checks to me, I bet $75, CO calls.
3x turn, CO x/c my bet of $150.
7x river checks through and I roll my hand over, he gives the meek wrist turn-to-show / muck T5ss.

AJdd on the button. EP limps, MP limps, I raise to $25, both call.
J98hhd flop. EP leads $100, MP calls. EP has $190 left behind and MP covers me. I ship $380 more, both call. Board runs out 73hs and MP instamucks, EP flips J9o. I win a small side pot.

A4ss in the small blind. I open to $15, BB (same as MP from last hand after he seat changed) raises to $90 after reloading to $400ish. I shove, he folds.

KQo MP. I open to $15, CO (same player) raises to $60, I 4b stuff his $230 eff, he calls with KK and i don’t get any dream run outs.

Overall didn’t lose any huge pots but lost every medium one and just had 0 value in each spot. I don’t want to stop firing away with bluffs just because they aren’t getting home right now, but I do think I need to focus on some of the lines I’ve been taking and reevaluating their effectiveness.

After dumping two bi on the session, my brother and I talked about how I needed to get out of my own head. Something has felt off the last couple of nights and it’s definitely not just coolers or bad luck; I’m just playing my sustained C- or D-game.

Maybe I have too much on my mind right now?



I was lucky to have some students in Sacramento, Davis and Spokane who were cool people and I developed healthy friendships outside the classroom. I got back into the gym, cleaned up my diet, and found ways to spend my alone time while sober (aka traded booze and pot for Netflix and books). And still something felt off, so I fired a text to reconnect with my ex-girlfriend, Ellen. As soon as my time in Spokane ended along with my relationship with TestMasters, I scheduled that previously mentioned trip to Michigan.

My goal with my second and final year off before law school was to enjoy it more than the first. A high bar had been set, but quitting TM to tutor individually and the resurgence of my poker / gambling bankroll ensured I’d have more fun. The only thing missing: how could I get back with the person who made the first year so great? Was it even possible?



Wynn $2/$5

AA UTG.
I open $15, get 3b by CO to $55, BB cold calls, I make it $230, both call.
T43r flop I stick $375 more, BB calls and I hold on T439K no flush runout.

AQcc in HJ. I open over a limp to $20, CO calls, BTN calls, SB 3b (aggro young German) to $120. We’re $1500 effective, I 4b to $320 and get folds all around.

Two black Queens (Tangerine!) from early position, I open to $15 and get called by the button, an old white guy who seems pretty bad. Flop J74ddd I continue for $10, he calls. 5s turn I bet $50, he calls. With the Ace of clubs on the river I check/call $55. My hand is good after he flips QJo.

T9dd in MP. UTG open to $20, I call, BTN call, SB call, BB call. A98dd flop brings me the pair + flush draw. It checks to BTN who bets $75 and I am the sole caller.
5h bringing BDFD and I check/call $150.
6d river and the flush comes home. I elect to bet into the BTN $330 and get a fold. I didn’t think I would getting a bet behind from any of his medium 1p even weak 2p type holdings, so leading seemed better.

A5cc in the small blind. UTG opens and BTN 3b to $80. I fold and am more proud of myself than any other point in the session.

KTcc on the button. I haven’t mentioned yet that this game took place on the outermost tables of the Encore poker room, those nearest the rail. This hasn’t been relevant until UTG+1 (insane spazzy drunk? guy) opens to $20 and then stands up to walk over to his wife and young child who were standing behind him with his cards live and like $160 in front. +2 calls (aggro German who would’ve 3b anything good), I squeeze $75, +1 calls, +2 folds.
AQ7cc flop I jam, he calls with AT. This hand makes more sense when you consider the very next one...

KJo in CO. UTG opens to $20, +1 calls, and I 3b the usual suspects again to $75. UTG is the lone caller and this time we see a flop of K77. We both check. He snap shoves $260 or so more on a 2h turn, I snap call, and after I show he rolls over 42ss no flush draw. Then he gets up, meets his angry wife and child, and leaves.

Overall, a good bounce back. Tutoring tomorrow, goal is to try to get in some more time at the Encore this weekend.

heart:

Corktown
September 2017

The air seemed to sparkle as stars strained to be seen, like tiny diamonds on a faraway necklace. The mood on Ottava Via’s patio was festive with an open fire and gold light bulbs stringed criss-cross to connect the dots in the night sky. Scene: modern Italian spot that puts arugula and walnuts on pizza; older people champagne drunk by 9:30.

Ellen asked me to this first date before I even knew my job assigned me a class in Detroit. We celebrated my birthday at the table next to a couple of women who were also celebrating a birthday. At the time - last September - I was crushing my job, making money playing poker, riding the high of a woman who asked me out. Conversation flowed and hours would pass between those peeks we make toward watches or phones on first dates. The two of us moved from dessert wine to cocktails at Sugar House down the street; we had a drink inside by the bar then moved outdoors to their patio. Groups of other couples came and went while we kept finding new things to talk about and watched new drinks pass by that we had to try. It was a rare perfect night.





11/23/18
Encore $2/$5

First hand at new table, $700 effective with BB. Red AA UTG, I open $15, BTN and BB call.
Flop Q84ddd BB leads $25, I raise to $100, he calls.
Turn 9s BB leads $225, I call.
River 9h BB jams, I call. This line may just be flushes too often at live low stakes for me to call with overpairs, but red AA seems like the best of those candidates with which to do so. Perhaps the big mistake was raising flop in position?

I top back off to $1k.

Q5hh. BTN straddle and folds. UTG ($1000 eff) opens to $30, folds around, I call from BB.
T54h flop I check/call $50.
6h/8s turn and river check through, UTG rolls T7ss. Too loose pre?

AKss UTG, I bet $15, +1 calls, SB 3b to $65, I make it $225, SB jams and I call / lose to KK.

-$1400 in an hour, didn’t win a single hand. Run good from last session evaporates within an hour and I get up for a break. A text from Ellen asking to chat saves the day; I follow my heart and leave the Encore before I punt off more.



LAS > DTW

And now we have caught up to the present, where I am sitting at my gate in McCarran wondering how I’ll run in Detroit. Life and poker seem inextricable at this point from one another, but no matter how I play this trip will be exciting. Anticipate kefta in Dearborn and yours truly bombing away at Motor City Casino in an update soon. As always, enormous thanks to all the support from my rail.

“What made something precious? Losing it and finding it.”
- Celeste Ng, Everything I Never Told You

good read as always. I know the feeling of trying to stay focused/keep a good mindset after prolonged losing. Not easy, you just have to be cognizant and do your best to power through.

Only feedback I have is the last AA hand is the easiest fold OTR with his line. Everything else seems reasonable although I'd differ in some spots.

going to post my thoughts in note form to respond to this excellent update

- 4bet jamming A5s type hands vs relatively short stacks of 300-400 once they 3bet you is disastrous imo, much rather 4b vs deep stacks to rly threaten their entire stack and force fold equity

- AQs vs aggro German, I prefer 4bet bluffing AQo combos and flatting AQs to bluff catch and it has better playability

- pacifico great beer!

- interesting how you prepare for seshs as a battle, I'm more of a card player and wheel and deal type attitude

- family issues always tough, only you rly know how to handle them best - I'd suggest distancing yourself from negative situations (easier said than done)

- keep up the exercise grind - you got it easier than the east coast snowfalls!

Also, I look forward to Law School updates, I hope you continue even though your free time will be extremely limited. Keep it up and enjoy Detroit!

Great HH review, thank you! I tend to agree with you about AQs/AQo as for unsuited hands making better 4b bluffs but I’m just a maniac when it comes to 4b% as I find it’s extremely profitable vs regs at 2/5 and 5/10.


Just curious, what do you mean by card player attitude? Is it fair to say that you don’t feel the need to energize / prepare before a session and just have the ability to sit down and feel good once the cards come out? I’m super jealous if so


I agree. Looking back that hand seems like a case of entitlement tilt; a subconscious “I got dealt aces and I deserve to win the hand” mistake. A costly one and I believe that getting station-y is my most clear indicator that I am not playing my best poker. You’re right on about the struggle to keep that sharp feeling all session and I appreciate the kind words!



Back in Las Vegas tomorrow. One day left of playing tomorrow so I don’t want to jinx anything but Detroit has been awesome. We turned things around after a bit of relationship rockiness the first weekend. A full update should come in the next couple days.

basically just sit down get dealt cards and take a couple deep breaths before making decisions that will result in having to triple off and ask myself is this necessary, is this a good spot?

david goggins talks about finding internal motivation vs external - something I agree with

DTW > LAS



Here are some sessions and HHs presented with analysis between followed by some pics from Detroit.

All hands took place at Motor City, either $2/$5 PLO or NL. Often the games were straddled to $2/$5/$10. I was only ever playing between 11am and 5pm as my girlfriend got off work at 5pm and we spent the evenings together. As a result, game selection was nil. Despite that and one day where I ran super cold then played too aggro, I was able to post a very profitable poker trip. Plus, it was a ton of fun.



Friday

66 first hand after I sit and take the big blind. MP (old white guy, headphones, hat, herbal tea, $800 effective) opens to $25 over a limp, I’m the lone caller. 753 flop checks through. Qx turn i check, he bets $45 and I call, Tx river I check, he bets $65 and I fold.

AQo UTG, I open to $20, BTN (headphones, 25-35ish, man bun) calls
Flop QTTr checks through.
Turn A I bet $25, he calls.
River T I bet $110, he calls. I chop with AQo.

KJhh in SB. $10 straddle on, one limper, man bun opens to $45, BTN cold calls, I make it $190 and get folds all around.

A4dd in CO. I open to $15, BB calls and leads $20 on a rainbow A53 with a lone diamond. I call. He checks on a 6d then and I continue for $45. He then leads $55 on a 5r river and I call to see 9 high.

No huge pots this session and the table talk was relatively friendly despite the tight and passive play. In for $1000, out for $1190.



Afterwards, we do mani/pedis at a local place. I speak my extremely limited Vietnamese with the family working there and have a good time, despite never having had a pedicure before. My nails ended up looking great to handle chips with for the next week, I guess.



First Weekend

We saw Bohemian Rhapsody, drank at UFO factory, drank at a weird disco/rave in some abandoned school (3/10), stayed in to drink wine and play board games with her friends, watched Little Miss Sunshine, Green Dot Stables (9/10, especially liked that they made the cheesesteak slider with whiz instead of cheese).



Monday

AA83 with A8dd; straddled pot to $10. I open MP to $40 and get three callers including BB (middle aged black guy, $400 stack eff) to an A92 one diamond rainbow board. It checks through. 9d turn gives me an even greater lock on the hand; BB bets $100 and I flat trying to invite action behind. The other two players don’t come along. 7d river, BB bets $200 and I jam for his last $102, he tanks for a while before sad calling with 65dd, losing both to my higher flush and top boat.

KQJ9ds, straddle on, UTG (old white guy, $1000 effective) opens to $40. I call +2, three other callers in position behind me to an AA9 flop where I have a flush draw. Checks through. On an offsuit ten, UTG checks again and I lead $115, getting folds around.

AAT7 with A7 spades in MP. UTG is an white guy on phone - seems like business or important personal call taking about finance. He just sat down this orbit with about $800 in greens & opens to $40, one caller. In position I re-pot it, UTG calls. Flop comes K73dd, I bet $150, UTG calls. I have naked Ad. 9x turn checks through, 2d river checks through and my hand is good.

Some other small pots I’d take down with a cbet or check all three streets with top pair and lose to overpairs - didn’t get in flips or pressure situations in any pots where I had more than $100ish ingested, which made for both a personal best and a very pleasant session. Light work baby, in for a nickel & out for a pickle:



In a bit of a celebratory mood, we eat at Joe Meur after dinner. Great soups and sides, ok calamari and scallops, loved the Dover sole and broiled lobster tails. Thunder / Pistons game after dinner. An excellent day



Tuesday

Fun, raucous table today. A good mix of regs and older guys chatting college football made the time fly by despite me folding a ton.

QJcc. UTG opens to $15 off $200, folds to me in BB and I call. 543c flop I x/c $20 again. On a 3c turn I lead $40 and get called, and on a 7d river I jam for the rest and he tank calls with TT. In the hole $200 early.

63hh on the button with four limps in front, I limp behind, SB completes, BB check. Flop J63ccc checks to me, I bet $20, BB (middle aged woman, just sat down, didn’t see my earlier bluff) calls. 8h turn is good for me. After her check I continue for $35, she calls. On an 8d river my hand gets counterfeited; she checks to me and I bet $150, she quickly folds.

98o in the BB. MP opens to $15, SB calls, I call. T55hh flop checks through. 7h turn brings me some equity; SB leads $25 and I raise to $80, get both folds.

66 in the big blind. BTN (super tight) limps, SB completes, I check.
Flop AK6dd comes out as I’m talking to a cocktail waitress with my back turned. BTN confusingly leads $15 out of turn but the dealer pushes the chips in front of the SB, so when I look back I raise to $55 and the BTN then calls / SB folds. The whole action was revealed to be messed up when the BTN checked instantly on a Kh turn, and then the dealer pointed out it was my action first. I then checked and BTN checked behind to an Ax river, I check/fold to a $100 bet. So I guess I lost the minimum here through my own inattentiveness.

I get QQ, AK, and KK in one orbit. AK sees two limpers to me, I raise to $30 and get folds all around. QQ and KK both see the same action; the same opponent limps, I bump to $25, he calls and we see an AJx flop. We both check to the river and here’s where the hands marginally diverge; a Q otr when I had KK allows some value to be found and I bet $20+get called by worse. When I had QQ I just checked all three streets and won.

AQss in CO. MP (portly white guy wearing Real Grinder-branded apparel, eating both of Motor City’s food options: a roast beef sandwich and a slice of supreme pizza from little Caesars. Also on bovada the whole time on his tablet) limps, I raise to $25, he shoves $210, I call to see AJ. Board runs out AQxxx and I don’t have to sweat.

66 again UTG+2, UTG+1 limps (same guy as last hand), I limp behind along with BTN and BB. Flop J54ss: BB open folds, Real Grinder bets $15, I call, BTN folds. 6s turn RG bets $40 and I call. 3s river RG bets $50 and I call, he shows J8ss flush.

Takeaway: I should start folding more flops I think. In for ten / out for eleven.



After poker, I finally made it out to Al Ameer in Dearborn. My only trip to Dearborn ended at Cedarland last year, which was excellent from start to finish. Al Ameer has a pretty good amount of national media recognition and mostly lived up to the hype: the stuffed lamb was unbelievable and the kefta and falafel were better than Cedarland’s. But Cedarland had an edge with the bread, lentil soup, tawook, kabob, and garlic paste. The waiter was very bad and the overall service far less welcoming than Cedarland. Ultimately, I enjoyed the food but can’t find a reason to return with something better a block down the street.



After dinner, stocked up on baklava from Shatila:




Wednesday

First hand get AA55ss in BB. Six limps to me, I pot pre then x/f flop after all six call and we see a TT4hh flop, not my suit.

In the hole $500 early after flopping trips and running into a turned boat.

Down $500 more after getting in KQ98ds on K65cc in 3-way straddled pot - MP opens to $40, I call BTN, BB calls. MP leads, I jam and brick vs K652r.

I lose another hand and before I reload, I get called to the hold’em table. Last hand UTG I see QJT9ss and I open to $20, get 8 callers.
Both blinds check to me and I jam $150 on a J32r flop, CO calls, BTN repops like $600 and SB overjams for $500 more on top of that and CO folds, BTN snaps. So I’m drawing pretty ****ing dead.
The guys next to me start laughing when I show them my hand when an older guy to my right says “you know, any eight or higher helps you.” I guess even he could see how ****ing noob I am at PLO and wanted to console me. The guy to my left responds, “actually, even a seven is good.” That seven came instantly on the turn, but also bringing backdoor diamonds for the guy with a set of 2s. My own hopes relegated to a gutter. Three eights one time to save me. The dealer burns...dramatizing a Wednesday morning small pot backdoor draw is why you’re all reading this thread...the dealer turns...

“Nuts.” The eight of clubs. Even after this pot, I’m in for 1200 and out for $750.

The day turns around after we eat dinner at BESA, a beautifully designed restaurant with modern cuisine - e.g.


Drinks at a local bar; a birthday celebration for her coworker after dinner. Overall good day in part salvaged by the running straight, then a pleasant meal.



Thursday

Just a disastrous sessions, albeit a short one. Didn’t get any hands, lost every showdown, and never played a pot bigger than $150ish until my last. I just tanked in NL today, ending with the following weird hand:
86hh in CO I open to $20, BTN (aggro maniac up to this point, $350 stack) flats, SB calls, BB calls.
Qx9h4x I continue for $45 and BTN is the lone caller. On a 7h turn I check/shove after BTN bets $75 and he snaps with AA. I brick river and then leave to go to dinner down $800.



Second Weekend

Managed not to fall while ice skating, revisited old favorites in Jolly Pumpkin, Hopcat, Peterboro, Slows, Sugar House, loved brunch and extravagant mimosa bar at Bobcat Bonnie’s.

Monday

One last session at Motor City before I left Detroit proved to be a positive as I got a nice and long PLO grind in. I bought in for $700, doubled up my third hand after flopping the bit straight jamming and holding, bled back the $700, through a couple hours of bricking every flop, then got bluff happy vs a bunch of old men to run my stack to $1900ish. Eventually I got AAQJss in pre for $550 against KK44. Flop 4TT had me nearly dead, the turn Ks brought me a backdoor royal draw and my opponent an even bigger boat.... and this time I don’t find any of my three outs. In for $700 out for $1250ish.



Have another nice Seafood dinner overlooking the water then a relaxing night in to finish the trip.




I’m back in Las Vegas now and will probably increase my streaming / playing 200nlz on Bovada. I haven’t felt super sharp at the tables lately and hopefully some time watching videos + getting massive volume from zoom + database analysis will help plug a few leaks I can find.

January 8, 2019
LAS

I haven't updated this thread in a while as I tried to resolve a bunch of loose ends in my personal life and focused on expanding my LSAT prep company. I tend to write for cathartic purposes. When things are going well I find humility and introspection in narrative arc; when they aren't I can take solace and shelter my feelings within words.

Tonight, the girl from Detroit I mentioned in previous posts and I broke up. I felt blindsided and realize that she isn't exactly who I thought she was, and it hurts. Even now, I'm trying my hardest not to keep checking my phone in the hope of her sending me a text that this was all a mistake and doesn't represent how she truly felt. I know it isn't coming.

I plan to continue LSAT tutoring. I got thrashed the first few poker sessions back at the Bellagio and Wynn and haven't played or read / studied since before Christmas. There's a couple apartment complexes I have my eye on in Las Vegas and I plan to move in ASAP and begin my life anew. 2019 couldn't have started much worse, but there are still 357 days left.

Hopefully the next update is more exciting.

Keep your head up man, sorry to hear about your girl. Years are like poker sessions, you can look at them as distinct but they're all one long session in the end.

January 28, 2019
Las Vegas


You can look at a picture for a week and never think of it again. You can also look at a picture for a second and think of it all your life.
- Donna Tartt, The Goldfinch

I've failed in my effort to make $300,000 before law school. My December / January have been sparse on updates because it's been really ****ing hard to sit down at my computer and write a few thousand words on how I can't seem to string winning sessions together. Win $600, lose $1100, win $400, lose $500, win $130... you all know the cycle of stagnation that poker players go through.

Looking at my results and notes I take during sessions, two major flaws stick out: lack of volume, and I'm cbetting too wide on almost all flops. The latter is a technical issue that I trust myself to resolve. The former has been the result of me rebuilding myself.

After my ex dumped me a few weeks ago, I struggled to fill the time that I would previously be thinking about her / talking / texting w/e. It would have been easy to fall into a deep depression, and I really wanted to wake up, smoke, curl up in a ball, order food in, and watch YouTube videos all day. I have cascaded into that routine before. This time, I made the proactive decision to schedule as many things as possible to force me out of the house. The people closest to me helped me process the emotional impact of what happened.

About as soon as she left my life, my ex-step-father re-entered by returning to Las Vegas after a couple years in California. He brought back my half-brothers, 10-year-old twins whom I saw recently. I don't want to get into specifics but because of a weird situation they have not seen their mother (same as my mother) in seven years, so I feel a greater responsibility to be a positive impact on their lives.

Next, I decided to make the standard moves. Sober up, weight room 3x/week and cardio during the off-days, eat better, read more, etc... and for the first time in nearly two years, I've found the motivation to improve myself to the same extent I felt in college. I fit into the nice button-downs and chinos I haven't worn in two years; girls smile at me where they wouldn't a few weeks ago; I feel comfortable in social situations and approaching people. This is only after a few weeks, and 10 pounds!

I've accepted the next few months will be a wash for me. I don't anticipate a massive boom in LSAT tutoring, nor do I anticipate running well in poker. But I can control my body and my mind, both of which are getting stronger quickly. I'll be back at the tables soon




As I've felt some confidence and stability in life, I have wanted to re-integrate poker. I'm starting with 200z on Bovada with pretty quick stop-losses and I feel sharp. For now, here are some online hand histories:



*** HOLE CARDS ***
Dealt to Hero [As 7s]
Hero: raises $6 to $6
UTGplus1: folds
Dealer: raises $14 to $14
Small Blind: calls $13
Big Blind: folds
Hero: calls $8
*** FLOP *** [Jc Ts 5s]
Small Blind: checks
Hero: checks
Dealer: bets $44
Small Blind: raises $259.29 to $303.29 and is all-in
Hero: calls $165.45 and is all-in
Dealer: folds
*** TURN *** [Jc Ts 5s] [9s]
*** RIVER *** [Jc Ts 5s 9s] [4c]
*** SHOW DOWN ***
Hero: shows [As 7s] (a flush, Ace high)
Small Blind: shows [Qc Kc] (a straight, Nine to King)
Uncalled bet ($137.84) returned to Small Blind
Hero collected $415.9 from pot



Dealt to Hero [Jh Jc]
Hero: raises $6 to $6
UTGplus1: folds
UTGplus2: raises $21 to $21
Dealer: folds
Small Blind: folds
Big Blind: folds
Hero: calls $15

*** FLOP *** [Th Js Qs]
Hero: checks
UTGplus2: bets $22.50
Hero: calls $22.50
*** TURN *** [Th Js Qs] [3d]
Hero: checks
UTGplus2: checks
*** RIVER *** [Th Js Qs 3d] [9h]
Hero: checks
UTGplus2: checks

*** SHOW DOWN ***
Hero: shows [Jh Jc] (three of a kind, Jacks)
UTGplus2: shows [Qc Qh] (three of a kind, Queens)
UTGplus2 collected $86 from pot




Dealt to Hero [Ks Tc]
Dealer: raises $6 to $6
Small Blind: folds
Hero: raises $23 to $25
Dealer: calls $19

*** FLOP *** [4c Kh 2s]
Hero: checks
Dealer: checks
*** TURN *** [4c Kh 2s] [3h]
Hero: bets $24
Dealer: calls $24
*** RIVER *** [4c Kh 2s 3h] [Td]
Hero: bets $163.16 and is all-in
Dealer: calls $163.16

*** SHOW DOWN ***
Hero: shows [Ks Tc] (two pair, Kings and Tens)
Dealer: Mucks [Jd Jh] (One pair)
Hero collected $423.32 from pot

But the thoughts would not go away... the words they spoke. The feelings that would not take the form of words. Forgotten promises. Unrealized hopes. Frustrated longings.
- Haruki Murakami, 1Q84

With a bit of time and sobriety, I feel a much stronger grasp over my life than I did even a couple weeks ago. I'm reminded of the Dwight quote after Jim makes fun of the planned birthday celebration for Kelly: "Are you trying to hurt my feelings? Because if so, you're succeeding. Fortunately, my feelings regenerate at twice the speed of a normal man."


Ultimately, I can point to this past winter, roughly Oct / Nov to January, as the culmination of a couple years' worth of mistakes. I neglected serious personal issues and suffered the consequences.

I had some very serious tension points in my family life. Tbh there's no clean resolution on these. I had to file a police report against my father. My mom's side of the family is a trainwreck unrelated to myself and not very present in my life. I believe that neglecting those issues and their impact on my mental state was the source of much stress in my own life and affected my decision-making. Thankfully, there's really not much more damage they can do to me any further.

My college BFF and I ceased regular conversation after an awkward situation in Nashville last summer. I decided to suck up my ego and apologized - now James and I are back to how things used to be. Right when his employer sent him off to Germany for 6 months. Maybe I'll run it up and get a chance to meet him at King's in Rozvadov

I had no real financial planning. This is by far the most objective of my mistakes, as tbh I would've preferred to play less poker or smaller stakes if that meant that I would have maxed my IRA contribution in 2017 / 2018. This is also the mistake that I worry the least about right now because I'm an ignorant 20-something who doesn't need long-term savings goals.

Finally, I put a lot of thought and care, time, and blew a decent chunk of my savings on a woman who didn't really love me back. I've tried somewhat unsuccessfully to avoid analyzing that relationship and wasting any more time thinking about her, but the truth is that she was one of the best people I've ever had in my life. I was honest with her to an extent that it made me vulnerable. Too vulnerable, it turns out. So these things go.



The only way I've been able to cope with these things is to take them as an implicit rejection of myself. It's easy to view the world as a place full of ****ty people and things out of our control, but that mentality feels so defeatist. I prefer to think about the things I could be doing better - making my own luck, for lack of a better phrase.

I have probably written difficult threads to follow because of my erratic behavior, goals, and lifestyle during the past year-plus, so I do want to thank the wonderful readers that remain.

Here are my 2019 goals and my progress on each of those. The rest of this thread will focus on each of them.

Get to the best physical shape of my life.
I peaked at 202 pounds. For a 5'7'' man who has always taken pride in his relatively minor athletic ability, seeing the scale >200lbs was the last straw. I woke up every day and felt obese. I'm now back down in the 170s after an excellent January. Even after shedding nearly 15% of my total body weight, I'm still as heavy as I ever was at BC. This required more than a diet or workout plan - I've been very careful to treat getting in shape as an overall lifestyle change. Couch to 5k, yoga, and precise calorie counting have all been essential additions to my routine.

Read More
Another common new year's resolution, this is actually the easiest possible goal for me because I am the most voracious reader of fiction that I know. I'm trying to integrate some nonfiction to make this a bit more challenging and beneficial to myself. In addition, I want to read something longer than I have ever read before. Infinite Jest was 1050ish pages, and technically with the footnotes probably more verbose than 1Q84, but Murakami's epic weighs in at 1157 pages. I'll probably read 150-200pp/day over the next week.

I tend to enjoy almost every "great" book I read, but Pachinko was something special. A beautiful epic about four generations of a Korean family, the superb writing of characters reminded me of One Hundred Years of Solitude . I wish I had someone with which to discuss this book - maybe I should find a book club?

Jan / Feb goals:
Jesse Itzler: Living with a SEAL (complete, 1/21 - 1/22; 280pp.)
Tony Robbins: Awaken the Giant Within (1/24 - present; 544 pp.)
Pease & Pease: The Definitive Book of Body Language (1/29 - present; 380 pp.)
Min Jin Lee: Pachinko (complete, 1/30 - 2/4; 500 pp.)
Haruki Murakami: 1Q84 (2/5 - present; 1157 pp.)
Robert Penn Warren: All the King's Men (not started; 661 pp.)
Mark Manson: Models (not started)
Kate Fagan: What Made Maddy Run (not started)

Find a new girlfriend
This one is pretty self-explanatory. I have not had a girlfriend in Las Vegas since high school - my last few relationships all took place in Boston or on the road as part of my tutoring. I tend to spoil people that I'm dating, and I haven't ever had the opportunity to do that in my hometown and favorite city. This isn't too important to me in terms of effort, though, and should come naturally as I continue looking and feeling better.

Begin studying for law school
A few different opinions exist as to whether it's beneficial to study law before you start school. A prevailing consensus amongst high-ranked students at elite schools who have posted on the TLS forum is to read Getting to Maybe before I start, but I might also read the examples & explanations books for each of my first semester subjects. I've got nothing but time.

Last but never least, let's return to the original purpose of this whole ordeal: running my bankroll the **** up. HHs below.



Dealt to Hero (BTN) [Ts Ac]

UTGplus1: calls $2
Hero (BTN): raises $8 to $8
Small Blind: folds
Big Blind: calls $6
UTGplus1: calls $6

*** FLOP *** [6c 3d Th]
Big Blind: checks
UTGplus1: checks
Hero: bets $12.50
Big Blind: folds
UTGplus1: calls $12.50

*** TURN *** [6c 3d Th] [5s]
UTGplus1: checks
Hero: bets $50
UTGplus1: raises $206 to $206
Hero: calls $153.03 and is all-in

*** RIVER *** [6c 3d Th 5s] [3c]
*** SHOW DOWN ***
Hero: shows [Ts Ac] (two pair, Tens and Threes)
UTGplus1: shows [5h 5d] (a full house, Fives full of Threes)

I think I'm allowed to fold on the turn? Maybe my sizing is way too large as well



*** HOLE CARDS ***
Dealt to Hero [Ac Ks]
UTG: folds
UTGplus1: folds
UTGplus2: folds
Dealer: raises $5 to $5
Small Blind: folds
Hero: raises $18 to $20
Dealer: calls $15
*** FLOP *** [5s 5c 4d]
Hero: bets $14.50
Dealer: calls $14.50
*** TURN *** [5s 5c 4d] [Qd]
Hero: bets $41.69
Dealer: calls $41.69
*** RIVER *** [5s 5c 4d Qd] [6s]
Hero: bets $182.37 and is all-in
Dealer: calls $139.76 and is all-in
*** SHOW DOWN ***
Hero: shows [Ac Ks] (a pair of Fives)
Dealer: shows [7c 6c] (two pair, Sixes and Fives)

Yikes lol he put me on AK



Dealt to Hero [8h 8d]
UTG: folds
UTGplus1: folds
Hero: raises $6 to $6
Dealer: folds
Small Blind: folds
Big Blind: calls $4
*** FLOP *** [Ah Qd 8s]
Big Blind: checks
Hero: checks
*** TURN *** [Ah Qd 8s] [4s]
Big Blind: bets $13
Hero: calls $13
*** RIVER *** [Ah Qd 8s 4s] [5s]
Big Blind: checks
Hero: bets $39
Big Blind: calls $39
*** SHOW DOWN ***
Hero: shows [8h 8d] (three of a kind, Eights)
Big Blind: Mucks [4c Ac] (Two pair)

just bet flop you idiot

Hey man, best thread on 2p2 imo. I love how you really go deep on your writings, I believe that you are the only one that does that. Keep it up and GL in your life man!

Thank you for the compliment, it means a lot.

I’ve been slacking on updating this thread but I promise I’ll have something soon. Life and poker updates, a traveling story, and a first time playing poker in LA?

I can squeeze one poker session in...any opinions for $2/5 or $5/10 on a fri/sat/sun night?

Subbed GL!

Nice to hear that man! unfortunately I've never played any live poker in the US, I'm a brazilian 200zone and 200zoom grinder (ignition and stars), but I'm planning a trip next year to stay a month there playing cash games across the country (road trip) with a friend that plays the same stakes as me and end up on the WSOP, for more cash games.

Las Vegas, NV
June 04, 2019

https://youtu.be/viimfQi_pUw

Home isn’t where you land; home is where you launch. You can’t pick your home any more than you can choose your family. In poker, you get five cards. Three of them you can swap out, but two are yours to keep: family and native land.”

- Tayari Jones (An American Marriage)

College, then life as a roving tutor, were hectic on a daily basis. Life has slowed down the last few months now that I’ve lived in Las Vegas full time. I don’t like it - I’m anxious to get to New York City and begin my studies, my new life. Summer days move like molasses and I cannot break the cycle of life breakeven-ness right now, but I don’t care much. I’m content? This isn’t very interesting content, I realize. Not much is happening!

$2/$5 at the Bellagio
V has been kind of talkative and weird but weak-passive.

I open to $20 and SB calls, then V calls from BB.
Flop KQ8 checks through.
Turn 7 checks through.
River J SB leads $25, V flats, I raise to $100, SB folds, V jams. This super confused me so I tank folded. I get QQ in for $450 vs AKo and lose a few hands later.


$1/2 at the South Point
My brother is at the table in seat eight, I’m in seat four.
Seat seven opens to $10, Zac calls, five more callers, I check 75cc from the big blind.

Flop 986hhh checks to seat seven who bets $20, Zac folds, seat nine insta shoves $350. It folds to me and I wanted to call it off very badly before realizing that it’s $1/$2 and seat nine never bluffs here. I folded before seat seven surprised me with a snap call. They roll over straight flush (seat seven) vs black TT (seat nine). Got lucky to dodge one I guess



Nina and I went to Teppenyaki at Mizumi and loved it! The scallops could’ve been seared crispier though. Also visited Lotus of Siam’s moved location, which we rated 10/10. Next locations of interest include the new Palms restaurants (Mabel BBQ?), Bardot, and Bazaar Meats. Any other Vegas recommendations?



I have never cashed a WSOP tournament. Not even the cheap deepstacks the Rio runs at the same time as the WSOP. Not even a tournament in Las Vegas at other casinos during the WSOP. I’m 0/15 spread across the Rio, Venetian, and Wynn.



Event #1, Day 1:
1000/2000/2000(bb ante)
V opens to 4500 from CO
Hero jams 31000 from BB with AJo
CO calls with AQo
Hero spikes a J on the turn

Event #1 being the casino employees event, your correspondent was not the hero of our first WSOP story. My younger brother went deep into the money - top 18! - in his first ever WSOP event. In 12th, Zac busted with AJs < KK aipf for 10bb. CO jam, SB call.
He‘s a real estate broker who moonlights at the SLS bar and ran pretty hot to a nice four figure cash. This represents the culmination of a lot of hard work for him and hopefully the beginning of a good summer for the family



I haven’t written much this year. I am ashamed of how quickly I let my life spiral out of control at the end of 2018/beginning of 2019 and many good habits I’d built up went down the drain. Writing - formerly a cathartic exercise - became laborious then impossible. Hopefully I have more material as WSOP season is in full swing here in Las Vegas.

I have a couple tournaments to play in this month, but don’t expect fireworks until July.

Much love to anyone still reading this thread

Las Vegas, NV
December 1, 2020

It is all falling indelibly into the past.
- Don Delillo, Underworld

I’m back. After a hectic year for the whole world, a tumultuous 1L fall in New York, and a spontaneous cross country road trip back to Las Vegas, I’ve returned to my hometown for online 2L classes and the home poker turf.




On the year, $20/hr playing NL isn’t bad.. but between 2/5 and 5/T NL I would’ve liked to see a better bb/hr. It’s humbling to know I am not crushing the way I believe I am capable of. Too aggressive still and my game selection has never been good - when I show up, I will play.

I don’t have many life updates - I live with my girlfriend and her dog in a 2br/2ba in Vegas while I’m attending online law school. I haven’t done much due to the virus, but I’m also one of the dumb ones who still goes out to restaurants and the casinos. Get rich or die trying, if you will.

I’ll jump right into some recent HHs.



WSOP.com NLH $250 6-Max
97s in BB.
Mid stages of tournament, 250/475 left.
I have 80500 in 500/1000/100
UTG opens to 2000.
CO calls.
I call.
Flop JJ9r, I have bdfd.
I check. UTG bets 3200. CO calls. I call.
Turn Ko.
Checks through.
River 3.
I check, UTG bets 11200, CO folds.
I raise to 32990. Gets a tank fold.

Right before the bubble in H4H play:
I have 346550 in 3000/6000/600
I open JTss in the CO to 7200. BTN cold calls, BB calls. Both players cover.
Flop JT6hh. I bet 21000, BTN calls, BB calls.
Turn 7s checks through.
River 6. BB bets 12000 (?), I call, BTN jams and BB rejams. They show TT and 66 respectively, I dodge a huge bullet.

37/475 left, well ITM now.
I open KTss from EP and 4b jam over BTN 3b. He folds.

8/475
I triple up with AQss on the button jamming off 7bb when I’m called by both blinds. Board runs out Q732K and they both check down. I’m good.

3/475
I lose AKhh to AQo as the chip leader to the second stack. I am now a little shorter than 2nd place.
I lose TT &lt; AA the very next hand to the same player. Out in 3rd, my best event all summer.






Like any dweeb spending too much time inside, I also picked up a new video game during quarantine. Teamfight Tactics is a fast-paced auto chess-type game and I quickly got hooked. It took me a bit less than half a year to reach top 100 NA. Maybe if this law school thing doesn’t work out...



$2/5 at the Wynn • Black Friday 11/27/20
In for $1300 out for $997
I open 99 in LP to $20 over an EP limp and get called from SB by middle aged Asian man, and by EP limp.
Flop J74hh, checks to me, I bet $35, SB raises to $70, EP calls, I call.
Turn 4x SB continues by jamming $210, EP folds, I call.
EP shows T8hh and hits the river flush.

I open ATo to $15 in CO. BTN calls. Online grinder (?) three bets SB to $75. We’re $1300ish effective. He’s squeezed a couple of times and I feel he’s making a move so I 4b to $190.
He five bets to $470 and I fold, he shows A5ss. First time I’ve ever been 5b bluffed in 2/5 - I couldn’t even be mad.

Overall a good session for my first live game at a casino in covid-era. I felt strong and got my money in good a few times, including this lucky pot:

Eff. Stacks of $675
I open 44 from EP to $15 and BB 3b to $60. I call.
Flop T66. BB continues for $110. I call.
Turn 4, yahtzee. I check, BB jams and I have an easy one. He flashes KK after the river whiffs.



$5/10 at the Bellagio • Sunday 11/29/20
In for $1500 out for $2735

I open T8o on the button to $30. BB older white man calls.
Flop (Pot 65): J87 checks through.
Turn (Pot 65): 4 bringing fd. I bet $20 and BB calls.
River (Pot 105): T and flush bricks. I bet $80 and get raised to $210.
I call and get shown K9cc. Bad river bet and bad call.

I look down at two black Kings.
MP opens to $30, I 3b him a couple times in the past two orbits. I 3b him again on the button to $110, he four bets to $330, and I five bet jam for $1000. He calls and does not flip after a 742JThhh board.

BTN middle aged man with headphones and sunglasses (cmon dog) opens to $30, I three bet to $120 out of BB with A7o and get called. $1500 effective.
Flop (245): 986r, I continue for 110 and get called.
Turn (465): J bringing bdfd checks through.
River (465): Ax bricks flush. He bets $230 and I call to see Q7o as a bluff.

SB vs BB. I open to $30 and get 3b to $90, I call with A7o.
Flop AK6dd I check, he continues for $80, I call.
Turn Ah bringing a second flush draw, checks through.
River 3x misses both flushes, I check and he bets $260. I call and get shown 75dd.

SB vs BB after getting promoted to the main game. I open to $30 with 85o and get called by an older Asian man.
Flop AQ7hh I bet $40 and he calls.
Turn Jd I bet $120 and he calls.
River 4h completes flush, I bet $220 and he calls. He rolls T9hh for the rivered flush and I meekly show my bluff.

Solid session at the Bellagio builds on what I felt was a good Wynn session on Friday. I’m feeling really good about my game right now between crushing some 2/4HUNL on wsop.com (albeit in a very limited sample size) and two positive live runs.



More will be forthcoming, as I look forward to a new year but the same soft games. I’ve been virtually externing for a judge in New York City, juggling volunteer activities, schoolwork, and reading, but some time should free up for me as the semester comes to a close.

Goals for 2021:

• Find a summer 2021 job
• Keep grades at a reasonable level
• Read one book for pleasure per month
• Try running again - I‘ve been doing stupid ass aerobics in the apartment and they have just not clicked for me. I’d rather die than dance to LMFAO! again
• Crush the tables one more time baby

Let’s get it and spin up a happy new year.