Quote:
Originally Posted by GhoulPatrol
You missed the part of my post where I specified I was talking about your mentality, not about the results. You not punting off your bankroll doesn't mean that you won't punt off your bankroll, anymore than an alcoholic abstaining from drinking on Monday doesn't mean that he won't drink on Tuesday. Without a solid foundation, you not tilting/degening can only really be choked up to positive variance.
I don't know how to explain it. It's just different now. I'm in the midst of a 5k downswing right now, for example. In the past I would be obsessing over it 24/7. Itching to get back to the casino to try to win it back at BJ or poker. It would consume my thoughts, all I wanted was to get back to even. Back to even. Now? It still hurts don't get me wrong but I'm not worried about it. I don't even have any desire whatsoever to go play poker today. Again, in the past, that would be my first thought upon waking up. Going to the casino or online and trying to get even. Right now I'm so fed up with poker I don't even want to think about it lol.
Also I'm going to move down in stakes when I start playing again. In the past, the bigger the downswing, the higher in stakes I would move. Because that's the only way to get back to even right?
Yeah Idk how to explain it well. And you probably think I'm full of crap, just another degen rationalizing their degeneracy. But, everything is different for me now. Just my entire thought process and mental approach. I attribute it to the meditation mostly. Degens are impulsive. When you stop being as impulsive and can observe your thoughts without acting upon them, it becomes much easier not to punt/tilt/degen/torch rolls.
Idk though. I'm still a work in progress. Maybe you are right and I am fooling myself. Maybe this has been a temporary moment of strength that will eventually lead to a moment of weakness and a huge crash and burn. I sure hope not. And I'm working hard every single day on my self discipline to make sure that doesn't happen. Only time will tell.