As a semi-pro who has played online for over 12 years I know that there are ups and downs in results for poker, especially in large MTTs. But I have been on what seems like an endless 3-6 month run of (again, what seems like) "Perfect Storm" bad luck that is denying me the results one would expect over some time.

To take just the most recent example, PokerStars' $1 million guaranteed $20 buy-in "MicroMillions" Main Event. Early on, with the blinds at 50/100, I tripled up to 30,000 in chips and was sitting at around 200th place out of 20,000 entrants. No guarantee of anything of course, but a great starting position to pick and choose my spots.

What happens but the PokerStars website crashes and the entire tournament is frozen for an hour. Yet the blinds continued to rise. So instead of playing multiple hands with a 100-200 BB stack, I returned to having about a 50 BB stack. In theory this could be even more of an advantage, and it was when I had AK against a shortstack (9,800 with blinds at 300/600) K-10. But it wasn't so much of an advantage when he rivered a flush against me (four to the flush). So 75% of the time I'm at 40,000 in chips, instead I'm at 20,000, it freezes again, and I have 22 BB.

I had shoved from the SB one round earlier and had K6suited the next time around. The BB had an 8 BB stack, so by GTO (and even not through GTO) that was an easy shove. He claimed to have been "frustrated" by me "always" doing that and called with...wait for it...2-7 offsuit. And hit a 2. So now I'm at 10,000 in chips and 10 BB, and then subsequently out.

Sorry for the rant, but just to review everything that went wrong here:

* With a commanding chip stack, PokerStars freezes and the blinds keep going up.
* Instead of just cancelling the tournament (in which case I'd have at least walked away with $60 or so), it resumes.
* My AK loses against K-10 (74-26) and instead of being at 70 BB I'm at 30.
* My K6s loses against 2-7o (65-35) and instead of being at 26 BB I'm at 10.
* My 4-4 shove with 10 BB in MP runs into 9-9 on the button. (18-82) and lose.

And again, it just seems like at crucial times in tournaments I'm running into 3-1 or 4-1 bad beats that make the difference between being able to continue in a commanding position or being in shove/fold mode (10-15 BB), and it's not happening either early enough that I don't care or late enough that I've already made money, it's happening right at those inflection points where it's either the difference between a min-cash and a final table-worthy stack or between bubbling and getting in the $.

Somehow through this I've managed to break even but I'm just starting to get bad feelings about being conspired against/naturally unlucky, and I know that's the worst feeling in the world to have because it will cloud my judgment and make me question my pre-constructed ranges. Probably just need a shoulder to cry on, but let me know if there are any parts of the story or adjustments that I should be making.

With this mentality, it might be best if this is your first and last post. If you want to focus on getting better, post a hand history instead of a bad beat story.

Tournaments are notorious for losing streaks, seems par for the course to me. Keep at it!

Thank you Dumbos,

As I mentioned, it was mostly therapeutic to just rant and get it in writing. Ever since that post I've cashed in 4 straight tourneys and finished 52nd out of roughly 40,000 in the PokerStars $50 1 Mill challenge, so feeling better about my game and luck.