OK
So i ****ed up terribly in life. Wont go into details but it was mixture of stupid decisions and terrible luck. Running under ev i guess. This resulted in long break from poker, now im back.
I tried to get back to grind in July, didnt run too good first couple of days, then got back to breakeven for the month and went off for holidays.
August was a cluster****. I started the month with high morale and willing to put a lot of effort. 12.08 things went south. I had 2 worst days of my "career". I couldnt win a hand and kept playing. I played 7,5k hands each of these days and lost ~ 25 bi each. ****. I just couldnt stop playing because i thought that games were decent, and i was playing a lot of tables , including hu vs multiple regs at once. So silly. After 2nd day of this beating i decided to take couple days off and rethink. I analysed hands with my buddy and it turned out i made some obvious mistakes , especially in mid sized pots, but obv run was terrible. I took a look at my remaining roll online and life roll, set a limit of what i can lose and what not and started playing again, but "slowly". I dropped down to 1/2-2/4. No more battling multiple regs hu etc, now im bumhunting a lot more and i try to play up to 6 tables. Its so hard to not open another one when you see a fish tho. Also sometimes hard not to play when somebody sits me.
lol
Now when things are going the right way again I start to have these blocks in my mind, Im a bit scared to play in fear of another downswing and that I will make this mistake of not quitting early again.
Its funny but i always play a LOT more when Im losing. Like i have to prove something.
Im often angry at myself because i feel im not using my potential (I might be delusional in this part) and not putting enough work.
LeKiii_Fish if you ever come here again and want to play csgo, my login is probably first one from your list. I also have Donger now in avatar so you will know.
Last edited by Denito; 09-19-2016 at 06:55 AM.