F*** Off 2016

I can't remember a year that, from a collective point of view, am more happy to leave behind As far as poker goes though, December saw us cross the 5 digit mark (10.8k in 147h), which figures to be pretty grand considering I have been averaging under 32h/week (yesterday was my longest session (7h), as I wanted to get this over with before going to Hoi an with the gf), yet a little bit of a bummer, as we were on our way to a 15k month before last week's downswing Nonetheless :








And you thought I forgot about you, my dear old lady





I will not be posting much for the next month or so, but will be back on the grind. See you then In the meantime, run good all and be happy.

Hiatus

Time to sit down, shut my eyes and observe the breath for 3 weeks str8 Am presently in Thailand :

http://forumserver.twoplustwo.com/sh...&postcount=403

Imposed hiatus yo, see you all in Febuary

Arise Grinder, Rise

20 days of intensity, pain, emotional distress, demons, bliss and liberation left behind us. 20 days where the outside world had little to no bearing on my physical activities (despite keeping a hold on the mental ones, though...).





This said, time to get up folks, leave that monastic buddhist lifestyle behind us and grind like the mama-frackers that we are, yo





Like previously stated, grinding will not be a priority for Febuary, effectively taking the back seat to writing (a few chapters of my novel) and life activities in general.

Goals : Modest will be my targets for Febuary, as pacing along for a bigger grinding month in March will remain the sole focus. So 20h/week it will be for Febuary, before increasing this volume to 30h/week in March. As far as the monetary targets go, 8-10k will be satisfactory for those 2 months. Studying will be approached similarly with 2h/week for Febuary (Pio and RIO) before increasing to a solid (for me) 5h/week for March (will upgrade my RIO account to elite at that point).

But like stated, my priorities will revolve around life balance in which meditation (2h/day), tennis, biking, beachtime, finishing my back tattoo etc. take the front seat.

Alright folks, let the grind begin +500$ in 7h thus far


Run good all

Game Flow

Good start to the month and to 2017 in general : +900$ in 3h (1.6k in 2 days). Games seem good, have been comfortably establishing myself at 200z, and am integrating the grind in my life in a balance fashion It will probably be a few months before I start taking shots at 400z though, and curiously, am still keeping 1 table of 50z, just for the hell of it, I guess (also nice to try stuff on a stake that is barely a dent to our winrate...).

For the past couple of years I have been planning my exit from online pokerz, (like many other 2 + 2ers that quit/could not maintain a good winrate), yet, here I am, still standing tall, grinding strong and probably have another year or 2 of online left in me Gangsta style yo





In other news, am thinking of a 45k challenge for the Dawson upcoming grind... More on this later.


Run good all

UpswonginnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnngggrrrrrrrYYYYYYAAAAYYY Y

I remember at this time last year here - also in Danang -, unable to see the light (literally remember it as being cloudy as frack everyday, even though this is obviously a subjective-flashback-bias ), in the midst of what would be my worst epic of a run bad (-3000$ in 400k hands/4 months) and consequently contemplating my exit plan from da online pokerz (as many did/would in 2016), yet, here I am, the sun pouring its abundance of +EV vitamin D3 through my wide open windows :





As for the old lady, she is also accepting the gift of the sun,





It feels great (and ironic) to see AK, get it in, get taken over by a slight sentiment of disillusion when I see my opponent's AA, give up, switch tables, only to come back and realize

+2500$ in 4h (up 3.4k in 8h in 2 days after being down 800$ in the first 2h of my post-meditation-retreat-comeback ).

Really not enjoying the Pio studying and have to force myself just to sit down and run a couple of sims. I still plan on analyzing 1 or 2 hands/week, but not much more. If anything, I prefer watching some Pio videos (on RIO) while running the sim in parallel. Giving my nature and the extreme facility with which my brain naturally grasps the logic behind patterns/equations, it is easier for me to sponge the info found on the videos, moreso than breaking down hands on my own. Anyhow, good to know our own strengths/weaknesses.


Run good all

Swinginnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnggg

The swings yo, the swings!!!








After a B/E stretch, dropped 1k in 1h, only to see myself rise from the dust folks, like a mama-fracking Buddha yo!!!




+100$ in 7h



And all my actions, of course, are for the sole purpose of pleasing dat old lady :





I will be spending a couple of hours everyday in a new found cafe, thus forcing myself to sit down, focus and start that damn novel of mine Of course, I predict a ton of writer's block in the near future, so I do imagine updating this thread on a daily basis, just to, you know, get away from those self-imposed responsabilities


Run good all

Those Fracking Raptors

The grind has been peculiar for the past 2 days, to say the least... Yesterday, I found myself implementing/pushing FPS lines (like overbetting 2x vs capped ranges, which worked like a charm vs weaker regs + recs, but not so much vs the more balanced 200z regs), which is completely fine from a macro perspective, but was nevertheless instigated by the rec player in me (AKA non-professional) who wanted to just have fun This said, I do like to experiment somewhat, especially, for instance, with a range advantage vs capped range. But alas!, as far as today goes, that was a different story completely

Rare have been the signs of tilt for the past 4 months of online grinding (despite some pretty hefty swings) until... enter the Toronto Raptors!!! they had been on a tear for most of last year and this year and were considered a legit top 5 team and arguably a top 3 one... until those little-mama-freaking-frackers went on a 8-13 stretch







fwiw, Derozan was their best player...


Fortunately, I was in a meditation retreat for most of this run bad, so it did not affect me on a daily basis. But, having the NBA league pass and all, watching the Raps in the morning (after meditation) while having lunch, is part of 3-4x week ritual and a way to smoothly engage the new day... Not fracking today Not after leading all fracking game and losing it in the final minutes to the depleted-lesser-Wolves, for f**k fracking sakes Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrr, -800$ in 6h



edit : this said, none of the above will stop me from spewing away a couple of thousand sports betting during the NBA playoffs in April...

I Click Buttons

The art of clicking is apparently what I excel in Click, click, click. Click. See A6o in the SB, click it back until the end of times, trying to get the most out of a range advantage, you know, then fire flop, turn and river and watch your A high get looked up. Click, click, click. Mama-fracking CLICK, yo.





It doesn't matter if you double-barrel too wide of a range gangsta, just click, click, click -700$ in 5h

Yup, I need to focus on being more GTO in certain spots, as I have definitely have been spew-happy over the past few days...


Run good all

When the Music is Over

Pretty eventful week, me thinks, as I took my first step into my 40s , got 4h of tattooing, had some Dawson friends pop by (a couple travelling with their 9 months old baby ), did a decent amount of writing and took advantage of the sun with some beach time and biking Where my week did falter though, was uncharacteristically at the virtual tables : for some reason, the focus was just not there, FPS plays suddenly had a bearing on me, and the sound of the clicking buttons was... well, just so damn seductive : -400$ in 21h and 1h studying.





This said, while I need to add 1 more hour of studying, the volume is fine and the game focus seems to be back on track... I am still up 4k for Febuary thus far, which puts us well ahead of the targeted 2-3k for the month Also looking into changing my plane tickets to go play the 5.3k WPT in Montreal


Run good all

Virtual STDs

My PC has been acting up as of late ; nothing significant that would warrant a return to factory mode or purchase a new hard drive (I do all my grinding/banking on my mac, so no huge sweat), but it got me thinking about improving my browsing knowledge by taking an ethical hacking course (offered online). It is a 25h video course, and one in which the art of compromising a computer is stripped down Now, this new interest of mine is not only for virtual protection sakes (I have zero interest in hacking myself and have never even visited the dark web ) or because Mr Robot is the nut best show of all time , but it is simply a field in which I feel I will naturally excel (funny, I was never into geek stuff until a few years ago ).

As far as the grind goes, things are slow and steady. Now that the Toronto Raptors have put their hands on Serge Ibaka, the sun is shining again Watch out Lebron, here comes the North




+300$ in 10h


Have not been writing as much as intended, so will force myself to visit that neighborhood cafe of mine in the next couple of days...


Run good all

Winter in the Sun

Wow, was looking into my results since leaving Dawson, and while I knew that they were quite satisfying, I did not expect this : +19.4k averaging 13.4h/week @ 57$/h And they said poker is dying




Necessary for yours truly : western size chairs/benches, as the local size just want do it




The cafe is situated by this lovely ravin ; +400$ in 5h


Am really enjoying this routine of writing in a cafe in the afternoon (despite having oftentimes to force myself to come ). I still want to maintain this schedule in March, when I will increase the grinding by 5h weekly, studying by an extra 3h, especially given that I am not nearly satisfied with the volume of writing thus far

A few notes pertaining to goals to come and accomplished thus far :

- Lost close to 10kgs due to better nutrition, biking, my recent meditation retreat. Still about 5-8kgs to go, but things are looking great

- Will change my flight back in the next few days (assuming the fees are under 300$, that is...) to play the Montreal WPT.

- Am purchasing that ethical hacking course, so will need to squeeze that in my schedule (perhaps 2-3h/week...).

- Been working on a post in my travel blog, about the striking differences in between SEA and the west. Coming soon...


Run good all

Taking Shots

things are quiet and steady in Vietnam ; the sun is shining , been binging Bates Motel as of late (solid characters, decent storyline), it will cost me 400$ to change my flight back to Montreal (which figures the be the ceiling of what I was ready to pay), been studying enough, not content with my reading and writing though... +300$ in 3h

Really liking the progress of my tattoo thus far and am looking forward to get some more work in a couple of weeks (8-12h left before completely finishing it) :





It does perhaps help that my tattoo artist is the cutest ever








Interesting article on slot machines and how the noise sensory stimulations is use to tamper the illusion of losing : http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/arti...u-winning.html

That's it for now,

Run good all

Migraines

Volume was a bit better this week , which was unfortunately direct related to my writer's block (8h) - AKA laziness : +1600$ in 26h

Can't wait for Serge Ibaka to start playing with the Raps ; speaking of which, do any of yous have any suggestion for sports betting? I want to bet a few ks during the NBA playoffs, and have chosen in the past, by default, whichever site had a healthy poker bankroll at the time of my wager (usually Party or 888). I closed my account with both of those sites and I guess I could place some bets with Unibet, could use more profitable suggestions though (even if I can already kiss that money goodbye )...

Writing iz 4 Suckahs

Outside, the sun is shining, the summer, rapidly approaching ; inside the cafe, the atmosphere is casual, laid back, favourable enough to stimulate creativity, one would think, yet, here I am, empty, with my dick left hanging in my hand I did manage to scribble a few lines to the first chapter of my novel, but alas, not enough to feel even remotely satisfied Perhaps I should focus on poker... Given my very lucrative win rate in this dying game, perhaps I should squeeze out the max out of that leftover juice... Bah, I have never been one for maximizing my EV when it comes to finances ; I figure to be closer to a monk than a businessman, when it comes to accumulating assets : +800$ in 6h





So back to the grind it is then,

Run good all

Dick in Hand

Back here, at the cafe, on what seems to be my everyday ritual of trying to write my, hummmmmm, masterpiece Of course, all I will really accomplish is to scribble a few forgettable lines, proceed to dick around, check out updates about the good ole Raptors, read about how the always entertaining Tronald Dump is pissing on minority rights...

A few notes :

- I seem to have shaken off winner's tilt... I believe winner's tilt originates - at least in my case -, from an underlined self-destructive tendency to not feel deserving enough to be successful... Hear me out : even if I sincerely believe that not 1 single human being should ever feel entitled to success, I think that part of that former sentiment to almost feel ashamed after a prolong upswing, stems from rooted insecurity (similar to be scared of beauty, as oppose to ugliness...).

- Am enjoying this online ethical hacking course that I am pursuing and plan on taking more online courses once this one is finished. This said, it does get me thinking about how much I could of accomplished thus far if I did not spend all those years drowning my sufferings at the bottom of a bottle... No regrets, really - that would defy the purpose of time wasted -, but still gets one pondering...

- Will increase my volume this week to 25h+ , since it seems a waste of financial gain not to squeeze more EV out of this still-very-profitable-yet-dying ecosystem (75$/h in 2017 thus far).

+500$ in 4h


Ok, I will try to scribble a few lines of my novel now

Posted this in Medium, which is a 3 year old travel blog post pertaining to the kitchen grind : https://medium.com/@jeansergebaril/t...5b9#.teg0aebs6

Run good all

The Hole

I have been rolled for 500z+ for quite a few years (and for much higher now), yet have avoided the high variance/low edge games, that comes with moving up, like pest And this decision lies not necessarily on a lack of skill level, but fear of not being emotionally balanced enough to cope with da titanic swings I am still moving up accordingly (it took 2 years after switching from MTTs (abi of 50$), to move up from 50z zoom and to 200z), yet manage to sleep like a baby in the evening, even after a 2k net loss day It's all about balance yo, not missing out on zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz's, you know what I mean This said, dug myself an utterly dark hole early yesterday after dropping 1400$ in a couple of hours





was momentarily shaken, tilted, couldn't see the light, logged out, meditated, calmed down, came back refreshed and ready for a new fight





and fortunately got to sit across an absolute drooler 400bbs deep @ 200z




+300$ in 9h (pretty happy with my volume this week ).


Run good all

Textbook Stuff

Pretty decent volume this week, as we managed to put in 27h and profit a decent 1300$ ; am pretty happy with the time spent in the cafe as well (4 x 2h), despite the indulgence in fracking around/lack of focus





Gunning for 30h+ this week, will also upgrade my RIO account to elite for a month or 2, thus looking to increase to 4-5h the time spent in the lab while maintaining 8h of writing (getting tattooed on Wednesday, so cross that day off).

that's all folks





Run good all

The Month that Was

We came into February aiming for a modest 2-3k and 8k for Feb-March ; Results : 7k in roughly 100h Of course, even if we already have achieved our goal for these 2 months, we are nonetheless still aiming for 6-8k in March, hopefully bringing our 2 month total to 15k...

Just upgraded my RIO account to elite, so have been watching 1 video/day. Also bought the ebook of Ship It Holla Ballas!, the story of the rise of fame of Tom Dwan, Phil Galfond and friends. Anyhow, here are the March goals :

- 6-8k profit. Barring an absolute run bad, this should be fairly easy, as I will be putting in enough volume (120h+) and releasing a ton of RB.

- Study 20+h. I put in the same time in the lab at this time last year while in the midst of my worst ever breakeven stretch (450k hands in 5 months), which greatly polished my game. If only I had the same appreciation for Pio (that I barely use) than I do for RIO...

- Extracurricular Stuff : Given my March enhanced poker-centered grind, I will put aside my ethical hacking course and most of my personal reading for the month. This said, will maintain my present 6-10h weekly writing sessions at the cafe.

Just switched my flight back yesterday (@ the cost of 400$ ) for late April to thus attend the 5.3k Party Millions and also booked a flight for Dawson in mid-May. Not sure at this point if I will stay in Dodge until October or not, but if I do, will have a 45k challenge (which should be easily achieved).


Run good all

Arrival

Just a passage in time... Dust in the wind... Or whatever other cliche yet elegant verse we can come up with that describes our impermanent nature Truth remains, we, humans, as a species, are, as far as the Macrocosm/phenomenal world is concerned, inconsequential at best, forgettable at worst, yet still occupy an essential and interactive role in the universal GRAND scheme of things...

My journey has not been a smooth one ; depression and anxiety were a bit too eager to be part of my life from an early age , thus making my bottom-world passage a strenuous and bumpy one

Anyhow, if in the beginning, my back tattoo was an attempt at shedding some light on the duality of life (mainly based on Alex Grey's Gaia painting) :





This was used as a picture inside Beastie Boy's magnificent album Ill Comunitation


A few more painting by Alex Grey to further demonstrate his uncanny/wacky/intriguing universe :




A seemingly hybrid of the anarchist V for Vendetta mask with a Buddhist third eye chakra





So if initially I was trying to represent the duality of good and evil, my tattoo became more of a way to express my journey thus far, one that has been filled with demons and allies, both of which are intrinsic to our human experience, me thinks :





Got about 8-10h left ; the green is a bit too invasive, but if not, really liking the progression


+300$ in 16h this week thus far


Run good all

Weekend Warriors

A wise man once said - I think -, if you do not take the opportunity to face off vs the weekend warriors, you will never round up your weeks...




+1700$ in 3h


Really am starting to feel comfortable @ 200z, enough so to play deep, shorthanded, HU and feel that I am one of the best regs in the field This also means that I will be shot taken 400z in no time yo

Run good all

LOGAN

Why do we love Wolverine so much... Hint : it is not because of Hughes Jackman's charismatic persona, despite it being effective... We love Logan because like him, we feel vulnerable... In pain... Victim of a constant influx of inflicting scars... Human, too human.


From the GetGo, as soon as the first camera shot exposes a vulnerable/ageing Wolverine and the music score strikes a tragic cord, we know that we are in for a rough journey...





Old age... Self-destructive tendencies... Senile... The end of innocence... Pain at its raw, elemental level...





In a day and age where we, the audience, are swamped with a non-stop influx of cheap superhero movies, it has become a necessity to slow down the process, indulge in the usage of longer camera shots, in an emotionally embracive music score... In Trump's America, it becomes necessary to go back to the roots, to revisit that primary relationship of man with land... A passage in time that is gracefully executed in the movie by the portrait of a black American family instilled with simple values ; a foundation that alas escapes the Wolverine who refuses to settle down by fear of always losing/exposing loved ones.

Logan is executed with intent : each sparse action scene is charged with emotions, with an astonishing anger that is unleashed in an surge of unprecedented fury.

But when it comes down to it, the ultimate battle will always be

A must see movie.

Making Ends Meet

Well, that was quite a profitable weekend The irony of it all - irony is when everything is made of iron -, is that if it wasn't for my gf and I getting inadvertently separated on the way to the beach, I would of never came back home and grinded those 90 minutes that instantly put me on a 1.2k upswing 3.2k in 27h

Aiming for a similar volume this week (28-32h), with 4h of studying. Not getting tattooed for another 2 weeks, so that will not rob me of half a day

Run good all

Me!?!?! I don't ****ing Tilt

Strong start to the week : am running like a MIGHTY OLYMPIAN FRACKING GOD and it does help that droolers are repeatedly gifting me their stacks at 200z So anyhow, was up 2k, got hit with some fatigue, took a small break for some 30 odd minutes before logging in again, despite my depleted mental focus... I tell you folks, this is a young man's game It becomes difficult to grind even 4h daily and once you are tired, signs of tilt might pop up for no apparent reason, even when up a couple of thousand for the day




+1.5k in 7h (dropped 500$ in those 8 tilting final minutes to end my session ).


Run good all

Writings on the Wall

Unlike music, painting - to an extent -, writing loses its core essence without the participation of a reader. Of course, all forms of art demand a minimum of interaction in between the creator, the creation and an audience, but none greater than writing - me thinks -, as a lost echo is good to no one... A bottle at sea simply drowns...

I have been struggling with this contemplation for the past couple of weeks, feeling the seemingly lack of purpose in empty words, sorta speak. The observation of my gf was of no consolation neither ; "write for yourself" she simply interjected, believing that ones inner content needs no approval... I politely refuted her argument.

If one can achieve serenity through meditation and needs not to share the experience to feel complete (I rarely speak of meditation, unless directly questioned), or if one can just be satisfied with a sound hourly in poker, the same cannot be said with writing...

I guess like any form of art, the ultimate desire is to share beauty, to leave an imprint of self, or perhaps, just to belong in a moment before fading away... Everything has obviously been said throughout human history, yet we take pleasure in repeating its essence through different forms, mediums, aesthetics , forever punctuating our fleeting nature with our pleasant craft... Bah, ok, end of tangent, this digression is simply going around in circles 0$ in 2h


Run good all

All Clogged Up In Da Head Yo

The brain... You know, that darn little mysterious - somewhat - muscle inhabiting our head that can act as a MAJOR MIGRAINE at times Why is it that we lack clarity certain days, that our opponents range suddenly becomes as blurry as a Yukon misty winter morning... +100$ in 9h


The "WTF did you do buddy!?!" Hand of the Day :


200z NLHE, 144$ effective, villain has me covered

Villain, a normal (weakish) reg opens to 6$ in the CO ; Given that we are shallow (68bbs effective), I decide to 3bet to 18$ OTB with the A3. Even if our hand plays terrible post-flop, the A blocker is quite nutted for the desired result of getting our opponent to either 4bet or fold ; villain makes the call

Flop (39$)
KA4

A flop that naturally favours our range, so we cbet 13$ ; villain calls.

Turn (65$)
KA4 9

We are definitely not loving life after the flop call, so after villain checks we decide to check back in order to reassess on the river.

River (65$)
KA4 9 4

The beautiful 4 rolls up on the river, making life beautiful once again, with the birds singing, chirping and stuff Curiously, villain decides to hang himself by leading for 36$ ; I take a few seconds before shoving for 113$ ; villain goes solidly in the tank

Run good all