Updates on various things. Incoming nonspecific update..

First off, I'll give an update on the pokers. Yesterday I woke up feeling pretty subpar. I was going to play pokers, but thought maybe I should take the day off. I didn't have plans I wanted to pursue other than some sauna/reading.. so I decided to do that and then head to the casino. I was playing poker mostly out of boredom.

I show up at the casino and reg the $1100 6max. This isn't a format I play often, so it requires extra thinking on my part. To play this tournament in my mental-state was a poor decision. I was not focused on the game what-so-ever. I played my C-game for two bullets. Making mistakes and being unfocused induced some mistake tilt.

Shortly after busting the second bullet, my name being called for a 5/10/20/40 plo game. I walk over to take a look. The game had 3-5 fish, and an over aggro reg. A seat was open to the right of the over-aggro reg-- If I was playing my A-game I'd be making >$250/hr in that seat. I knew I wasn't going to play my A-game, but I decided two $1k bullets playing my C-game is still winning at a good clip. Plus, 25bb leaves less room for mistakes. I sit down and buyin for 25bbs. Mistake #2.

Early on I get into a spot where I overlimp 16 BB with AK93, and the over aggro reg pots the straddle, there is a call and a fold and I jam in the rest. Super +EV spot, AK93 was ahead equity-wise pre, and I hit an ace and 2.5x'ed up.

I then proceed to win a pot by half pot bluffing a pot checked to the river with a decent blocker. Get to 85bb, iso askxqx2s pre, flop ksjh6s, pot over overaggro regs lead/call, over aggro reg folds KJ and I get called in one spot and win versus a fishes worse draw worse pair. I win, 2.5x again.

Bust one fish, 2 other fish leave. The game is now mostly decent regs, two of which have >200bb on my left. I decide to leave. First good decision of the day.

This is the second instance of me playing a short session in horrible mental condition. The type of spot where I know I can't play my A-game, and I'm probably going to play my C-game. I don't do this often, and when I do, I have my biggest winning sessions. My second and fifth biggest winning sessions in Sydney(n=~120) have been in the top5 least prepared mind-states. Lawl.

I sent off 7 emails to permaculture communities in north NZ. I told them I'm planning to spread awareness about permaculture/mindfulness projects and I'd like to record a conversation with them for a podcast. I think this works super well because these projects are generally horrible at marketing and there are people that want to know about them. Also, I suspect if I provide value I'll have better experiences. This is going to be my plan for the next 6months-2years. I'd like to do this anyways, and I like sharing my experiences.

I bought a couple mics and an adaptor. Seems like a really good option for a travel-based amateur podcast. Starting a podcast is a fairly complex task. I'm spending some time figuring out the best way to create it. I believe the first step is to define the target market (some sort of permaculture/mindfulness/spiritual seeker). Second step is to research existing material for that market(s). Third is to tailor the name/logo/material to the target market in a way that is not being provided by media creators today.

So yeah, I'll do steps 1-2 over the next week. I suspect the third task can be done in 1-4 days on freelancer.


Also, my mind-body learnings have progressed. With more and more weed+yoga I've become more aware of asymmetries in my body. One side of my body is way stronger than the other. This is a result of a serious injury at birth, multiple injuries on one side of my body, and just having a dominant side(various small contributing factors?). Injuries are the main contributing variables to strength imbalances, and I have had more than my fair share to one side.

Barbell exercises make it hard to gauge the asymmetries-- one side can just pick up the slack of the other through the barbell. Unilateral exercises are the best way to gauge asymmetries. These are exercises where you isolate one side of the body. I tried a series yesterday and found out that, in my exercise, my dominant side can do 10 reps while my left side can do 5. This is a massive imbalance, and bad news. I only maxed out on one set in one exercise just to see. The key to rebalancing is to do the same reps for each side, which typically works the weaker side more than the stronger side. I'm only in Sydney for one more week, and I'll only be doing unilateral exercises.

In other news, I found out that I generally sleep on my side, on top of my right shoulder. This creates alot of strain over ~8hours. Plus, I over-use my right hand and often jackup my right shoulder while playing poker. Both of these habits are contributing to soreness and general tightness in my shoulders/neck on the right side.

Anyways, I've just fired off all these "issues" with body. It's funny because people see me and think I'm in pretty good shape, health conscious etc.. but I have still have these large, fundamental issues. In this sense I find appearances can be quite deceiving. If you tend to think of the body's health as being gauged by its appearance in the mirror relative to models, you can run into problems. I can't really tell in the mirror that my right hamstring is twice as strong as my left.. but yeah, its like this... and, If I exert my legs heavily for a few years/decades(Which I will).. I'll probably have knee issues. The potential pain/suffering I'll endure from that imbalance seems like a big price to pay for looking good in the mirror.

I think its better to approach the betterment of the body from a more functional standpoint. Injury prevention and mobility being main objectives.

Huge waitlist for cash games and MTTs I'm not interested in playing. Alas, I take the day to work on my other projects.

I figure I'll share the creation process on here. The structure/style should provide help to others interested in creative pursuits. Also, I feel that by shining the light on what I'm doing it gives people an opportunity to make suggestions(feel free to share).

Alright, so I think the first matter to consider in creating a podcast is who is the listener. Who is my target market. This makes things a little tricky, for me. I'm interested in all sorts of spiritual practices(yoga/meditation/tai chi/plant diets) and also permaculture(sustainable living/eco villages/alternative living). This is a pretty wide range of subjects, and it seems difficult to target a listener who is interested in all these topics. I think its important to note that I'm pretty well versed on a wide range of spiritual practices.. and barely know anything about permaculture. That said, I think I can provide way more value on the mindfulness side (via conversation and being able to know what questions to ask). But.. I still want a permaculture spin.

To refine; My target market would be people interested in spirituality, mindfulness, consciousness, and permaculture. These are the most relevant terms to define the target market. Permaculture and spirituality are super common terms that are flooded with content in the podcast world. Mindfulness is increasing in popularity, and consciousness seems to be the least common search term. I also feel like consciousness is the most relevant term for the content, so I think I should use this word in the title.

The unique part of this project is that I'm on-site with the various founders/teachers, and I can share aspects of my experience with the listener. This is my style, and I feel like the name should capture this element in some sense. Exploring consciousness is the first name that comes to mind. It's simple and accurate. It's also available.. so seems like a solid choice.

There are a few podcasts that are in the same space that are well established and use the same terms to market. Ascend podcast, consciously speaking, consciously speaking, modern mystics, access consciousness, and the conscious consultant hour. Those are the ones that seem most relevant that are marketed by search term "exploring consciousness"(the more popular ones are name brands-- but I wont be competing with a no-name). I'll spend some time listening to these podcasts, and researching the hosts and guests. I'll learn from what they do, and getting a sense of what part of the "consciousness" market I can serve. I think this is the key to success... being able to identify what the market wants to listen to in the space I'm in, then provide that content effectively.

After that research (which will take a couple weeks, I'll be beginning now), I'll finalize a name, podcast description, freelancer a logo designer and intro/exit musics. (few hours, couple hundo)

As part of my project I plan to leverage my blogging/writing to expand awareness. I get the sense I should change my blogging style for max exposure(sorry y'all, but this blog-style isn't exactly optimal), I suspect I'll get better coverage if I write articles for various organizations based on my experiences along the way. I believe the best strat is to get exposure and provide value before I brand myself. (Similar to what Aubrey Marcus did with "The Warrior Poet" podcast). I'm happy to link articles/podcasts here. I think this will be challenging as I'm accustomed to writing journal style.

I'll have to research media outlets in the space I'm providing content. I'll get a sense for the content/market. Then, I'll identify +EV articles that I can compose from my travels. I'll have to do this before-hand so I can snap a couple photos.

I believe I should have a few podcasts completed before I release the first one, but I should have the first podcast released at the time I publish my first article.

There is the overview.. time to research one of the consciousness podcasts and listen to an episode.

how do you intend to monetize this?

Unsure how I'll monetize at this point. It's not a focus for me right now. I imagine I'll need to be well underway with providing valuable content before I can monetize. I'm probably better off being ad-free for the first several podcasts.

I suspect the best way would be offering discount codes on products/services in the middle of a podcast which I believe are useful. I'd get some sort of kickback and likely get the products/services for free from a sponsor. A second method would be to develop an email/contact list of my target market, then send out offers periodically.

edit: I think the return for me will be difficult to measure in $s. I suspect the connections and the opportunities that will come my way from this project will be well aligned with my ambitions.

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I'm currently listening to one of the podcasts thats in the same market as me. The episode I found is with a marketing consultant about how to market. haha, great.

Busted the main, day1a. Drew the worst table, 7-8pros. I'm happy with my play. I was considering playing day1b, but ultimately decided against it due to sleep reasons. 3 days of <7hour sleep + possible 3 days of a 10-hour grind would wear me out. I may play some PLO cash tonight or tomorrow, and that will be the last of the pokers for a long time.


I'm going to do a Sydney recap. I'm leaving in a couple days.

I've been living in Sydney for 9 of the last 10 weeks. I had some intentions for my stay, and managed to perform reasonably well. quote: "Yeah, my plan while in Sydney is to stay focused on poker, fitness, and learning. Maybe I'll spend a few hours/wk online dating(okcupid)." This was my general intention, and it played out pretty well. I experimented with microdosing, time-restricted eating, meditation, and sauna/cold showers. Per usual, I tried to take on way too much and couldn't do everything, but managed to grow a lot.

I averaged 40hours/wk of play, and a couple hours/wk of study. This was below average volume for me, and I believe it was the highest of any winning reg in Sydney. Overall my play/mindset was good. Better than any 10-week stint before 2015. I'd say it was around average for my 2 year baseline. I had potential to perform my best.. but sleep problems got the best of me. Poker results were poor.

Fitness went well. I don't have a good baseline to measure my performance. This is a major leak and will have to be accounted for in future training. All my lifts have improved over 2.5 months. For 3x5 I hit new record in overhead press(99pounds). I got really close to PRs on other lifts minus deadlift where I was 33 pounds off my previous 1x5 PR. My mobility is greatly improved (this is moving weight through a range of motion). Most of all, endurance has improved. A 30 minute HIIT a few days ago was a breeze compared to my first one a couple months ago.

I'm the fittest I've ever been. I'm a bit below my lifetime max strength and endurance, but I can use my body more effectively. I'm going to be focusing even more on how to move energy effectively. Despite making gains I'm becoming acutely aware that I have tons of room for improvement, and I think improvements in the mobility realm is more +EV than being able to lift 300 pounds off the ground versus 400 pounds or looking better on the beach.

My diet has changed. I haven't eaten meat in 3 weeks. I don't expect I'll be eating much meat in the future. This isn't to say I'm a vegetarian. I cant tell a difference between eating chicken/fish a couple times a week and not. Thus far I've found it's cheaper to eat veggies, and less convenient.

I haven't really done as much "learning". I'm always learning, but I didn't do anything special. In fact, I probably did a bit less than baseline. podcasts+books are essentially entertainment to me. I know that there is a long road of learning ahead for me via meditation + plant work.

Sydney dating was pretty average for me. I had loads of fun on my trip, which was the highlight of the last couple months. I did go on a couple dates in Sydney. One was a major fail and the other was one was okay but she was only around for a week. I think this will be far easier once I'm spending 40 hours a wk in an environment where I can meet an awesome woman.

Overall it was a good trip on paper. I did what I planned. Goals were reached. Emotionally, this trip has been horrible. The run bad+microdosing was a bad experience. The construction next to my room and all over the city is a source of pain. I've had less of a social life than my normally quiet social life. Meh.

I'll probably be writing a bunch over the next few days. Gotta set some intentions for the next leg of my journey.

Right on. So, life is changing for me. Time to set some intentions. I feel like writing/expressing intentions carries some sort of force with it. It's really difficult for me to define this force. This "force" seems to have grown in strength over the last few years. I think it may also be that its always been there and I'm just becoming more aware of it and using it in more useful manners. It could be a combination of the two. Anyways.. back on track.

I'd like to align myself with my purpose. I've got a sense for my purpose, but I'd actually like to discover it in more specific terms. I think that if I'm better aligned with my purpose I will feel energized. This will be a guide.

I'm looking to learn via mindfulness practices, volunteering, and from teachers. I'd like to teach others by sharing my journey with others. I want to explore different sorts of alternative schools/institutions for learning/mindfulness. Eventually, I'd like to build my own. Ideally, I'd like a woman to join me on this journey.

Okay. Thus far I've got a 10-day vipassana meditation course north of Auckland, and a 3-week volunteering gig at kawai purapura retreat center. I've got a few other visits for NZ lined up.

For teaching I've got podcasting and writing tools. I've got to discover optimal outlets, but this is priority #2 relative to content. I think the podcasting will be an interesting experience. I'll be able to get feedback by listening to myself and improve the way I speak/teach.

I suspect the frequency of my posts on 2+2(and this blog) will decrease. I'll be seeking outlets that are more aligned with my current projects.

Mostly going to journal/complain in this post..

I had an awesome time in Byron Bay. It's an awesome spot. I knew it was a hot tourist spot, so I figured it would probably be overrated. It wasn't. Beautiful beach, goes on for ages. I think I got there at the right time-- End of winter. t-shirt/short weather during the day. Nice cool temperature at night for sleeping.

I managed to practice a few sessions of bikram yoga. It's a series of movements in a hot room. It's also referred to as hot yoga. I tried it earlier in this thread, and I found it quite challenging this time, and also had a similar experience. My shirt, towel, and mat were literally dripping with sweat at the end of the session. I put my sweaty gear in my bag with my phone and it busted my phone. Thats how much sweat there was.. I've got my phone sitting in a bag of rice. I tried to turn it on and charge it before I put it in rice, so I may have permanently ****ed it. I'll know in another 2-3 days if I need to buy a new phone in one of the most expensive phone buying countries-- New Zealand.

I had what I believe is the most difficult commute of my life from Byron bay to Auckland. It isn't that far or long, but everything seemed to go wrong. To kick it off, the previous 2 nights involved <3hours sleep. My phone was bust. My laptop was stalling(needed an update?). I set an alarm on my laptop (4:50am) to catch the train to Brisbane airport. I was running late and was trying to pay the fare as the airport train showed up at the platform. I decided to pass on the $4 and just jump on the train. It was only 2 stops. I get to the airport and for the first time in a long time someone is checking tickets. Of course. I end up having to purchase an $18 ticket.

I get to the airport and check-in smoothly. The flight ends up taking off late. This is bad news because I have ~100minutes for an international xfer. I get to Sydney 20 minutes late. I know my flight is ~11:15. I look at the board. There is a flight to Auckland at 11:10 and no flight showing for 11:15. I walk towards the counter and check another board because I was quite sure the flight was at 11:15, not 11:10. The other board shows the same information, only one flight to Auckland around 11am. I get to the check-in line, which is far longer than average. I wait in line for ~30minutes, get near to the counter and it turns out there is a guy a few spots in front of me that has been waiting in the line for a 11:15 flight to auckland. He says its on LATAM-- this sounds familiar. I go check the board and it shows an 11:15 flight to auckland on LATAM, just under the 11:10 flight to Auckland. That was not there before. Its 10:20. Me and the other guy run to the checkin counter. I get there, they say its closed but they will run me through. They ask when I'm returning to NZ, I tell them in 2-3months. They tell me I need to show a return ticket. ****... I tell them I'll buy one now, hold up. I open my laptop which lags to infinity. I cant connect to the wifi easily. A few minutes pass. They tell me I wont have enough time. ****kkkk.

I missed the flight. That was the first flight I've ever missed. It also happens to be an international flight. It seems like everything that could have possibility gone wrong went wrong. The board not showing my flight seems to me the most ridiculous thing ever. I almost flew back to Byron for $140, but decided to booked the next Auckland return flight for $450. I would have had to pay $200-300 for a one-way return, so I was only out a couple hundred + stress.

I was feeling amazing for the first time in a long time while I was in Byron bay. The hot yoga + beach + girls = feel good. I made some awesome connections in Byron. Given that I have a return flight to Sydney late October.. I may have to re-connect with them, perhaps somewhere else in Australia.

First impressions are that NZ seems to be really laid back-- even the city area. **** is still super expensive here. Coffees are very good, and ~$4. I was going to travel with a tea infuser + loose leaf tea to replace my afternoon $/caffeine habits. I haven't been able to, unless I want to get It was a 3business day estimated delivery. I had 7 business days before my flight left brisbane. I ordered it to that address. It's now been 8 business days, it still hasn't shown up. Sigh... #travelproblems. I'll probably return/refund(i hope) and get a $3 stainless steel flask from goodwill and a $5 cheesecloth. If that sucks, I'll upgrade.

I got evernote for a writing tool. It syncs up with my phone easily which is pretty convienent and will help in the future if I have phone or laptop breakage.

I signed up for $14 for my stay at a local gym. They have a sauna. Weee value.

My plans are pretty laid back for the next week. Gym/yoga/read/write/plan. I'd like to get a hike or two in, too.

I went on a hike along the coast a couple days ago. I was with a group of ~70, the most I've ever seen on a hike. It was a good time. Jumping/climbing on rocks and walking along the beach. I made a couple local contacts too.

I'm going to a beginners acrobatic class tonight. I haven't really done much like this before. There are suppose to be a couple other newbies, too. It's a few dollars for a workout and some fun. I heard about it through the barista at the local coffee stand. She's gonna give me a lift to the gym.

I've been informed I'm unlikely to get a spot on the next 10day meditation retreat. A few weeks ago I was recommended to stay on the waitlist as I would probably make it.. I suppose I took a risk by taking the recommendation. Had I registered a month ago for the late October retreat I would have got a spot for sure.

My iphone6 is busto. I did some research and found a great deal on a LG V20 64BG. It seems to be roughly the same as the S7 edge. LGs strat is to release a model following a Samsungs release and try and make their model slightly better at a cheaper price point. I ended up getting the V20 for $499nz, which was ~$150 off the next best price I could find.

I'm considering hitchhiking out to a big nature reserve to the west. Its around a 25km walk, so I could probably manage it with my stuff over the course of a day.. but I figure someone will pick me up. There is a highly rated eco-friendly backpackers near to some waterfalls/bush hikes. I have 10days to forge my own meditation retreat before my volunteer stint at the retreat center north of Auckland.

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In unrelated news, earlier today I was listening to Anthony Peake on the Ascend podcast. He's a pineal gland researcher and spiritual explorer. He shared an experience he had early in his journey. He shared a wild dream immediately following the "activation" of his pineal gland. He described feeling energy in the center of his forehead and having very unusual, powerful dreams. The first dream he had was of two "unearthly" snakes coiling together. I was quite surprised to hear this, as I had a very similar experience.

I figure if we both had similar experiences independently of each other it may be a common type of experience, so I shall share mine. Shortly after I started feeling energy in the center of my forehead I had a dream that was unlike previous dreams. I dreamt from the perspective of a floating observer(bodyless?). I observed two massive blue snakes coiling/dancing together. One of them forcefully bit the other, then I observed from the back side of a bipedal blue entity walking through a door. Then I woke up. The dream had a very different feel than dreams previous to it. I had the sense that I had observed the snakes before and I somehow anticipated that one was going to strike the other. Also, when I saw the blue entity walking through the door I knew intuitively that he was "the king", and that he was not pleased.

Updates on stuff..

I've been pokerless since Sydney. It's interesting to note that among wwoofers the question of what you do for a living rarely comes up. I suppose its because almost everyone works mundane jobs. When I do bring up my past profession, I often get questions from people asking if I get withdrawls and/or miss poker. It couldn't be further from the truth. It's such a common perception that poker player->gambler->addiction problems.

I've been at the yoga/meditation retreat center for 10 days. It's an interesting environment. It's similar to hostel living but its far more communal. It's a really social atmosphere here. There is a communal vegetarian kitchen/lounge. There are tons of shared/free meals and lots of food sharing. It's a good spot for me as I like cooking for others and I've been able to try out a couple new dishes.

The free yoga classes are often self-practice classes(basically, a yoga studio for an hour or two and a few people show up to do yoga). I've been doing self-practice ~daily. I've had a few meditation classes/sessions, but haven't got a consistent routine established.

There was an ecstatic dance ceremony a few days ago. There was some meditation and cacao drinking beforehand, about 90minutes of dancing, and then a sound journey. It was super awesome. I spent 50 minutes meditating before the ceremony. I was able to get loose and move around without my mind interfering. There was a mix of community residents, city folks, and volunteers. It was like 65:35 girls:guys and some of the guys were orbiting around the edges.

I feel sort of strange writing this.. but I've been doing way more singing over the last couple weeks. There are a few workshops I've been to that involve singing. I tend to start sing when I'm working or walking around.

My podcast project i going ~horribly. Shortly after my last post I listened to a podcast about the podcasting business which turned me off from the whole podcasting project. It didn't help that the owners of the last two resorts haven't been around. I'm not so sure what to do. I still want to talk with the owners of these places to learn and Id be happy to share my findings. It's going to be more difficult to have these conversations if I don't have a public image (because they will see the conversation as less beneficial). I think that some sort of writing outlet is my best bet.

I have been writing a bunch lately but mostly about more personal subjects. So yeah, I have to find an outlet for this writing/creative expression.

I'll be leaving here in 10 days. I've applied to a few permaculture projects in northern NZ on helpx. Hopefully I'll hear back from a couple and continue exploring.

Nice. Omaha ftw.
I'm trying to transition to live play. I have a 6-max background.

Hey kids. Update is in order.

So, I spent a week out on a permaculture farm. I happened to find a couple that teach a permaculture course-- so I managed to learn a ton during my stay. Of most importance, I realized I'm a total n00b at any sort of farm/building work. This was a good lesson. I may be better off learning the basics and leveraging my time towards operations and investments rather than building on and maintaining land. I would report more, but time is in short order and I have a more interesting experience to report about...


I attended a 10-day meditation course. 10days of total silence, restricted food intake, no distractions(phone/books/paper etc). 10 hours of meditation, per day. They teach a form of meditation called vipassana. There is an interesting documentary on vipassana being used in the prison system to rehab inmates (very successfully). Needless to say, they teach a technique that is extremely effective.

I dont want to share the totality of my experience here. This is the type of practice which I will recommend to the majority of people I meet and I think its best experienced without many expectations or guidance prior to undertaking.. That said, I do wish to share some information about vipassana.

The technique is an extremely effective way of purifying the mind (the most effective, in theory).Mind purification leads to wisdom, which leads to enlightenment. The path offers large benefits to practitioners on all stages of the journey. It offers progressively larger benefits to those who practice longer. 10days is the minimum time to get a taste of how the technique works.

The technique dives into the default-mode network of the mind. It teaches one to use the mind to observe sensations of the body and generate an increased sense of mindfulness. It takes one from a state of automatic sense-reaction to that of mindfulness and non-reaction. Morality is an essential part of the path, as is volition of the mind.

It's taught at a center. You get a room, 2 meals a day, and use of cushions in a meditation hall. It's run through donations.

There is much more to it than that, but its not much use explaining it on here... During the course, there is a stress in the course of the concept of intellectual understanding relative to experiential understanding. Understanding something on a intellectual level only provides a certain depth of understanding with certain subjects. The mind-matter field is one of these subjects.

I recommend it to anyone with a mild+ interest in meditation and/or spirituality. It's good for just about anyone.

I'd like to bring attention to a particular message/vision during my last ayahuasca ceremony. I believe I wrote about it on here... Essentially; I got a message to stop using the mind to seek knowledge from external sources and to start seeking from within. Vipassana is the purest form of developing wisdom from within.

I feel more connected with this practice for development than using the plants. It seems more effective, more practical, and would be far easier to integrate into my life.
So yes, I continue on my journey.

I hope to do occasional updates like this on here. I continue to consider a new outlet for blogging/writing in the coming months.

Thanks for the update. If you do pursue a new writing outlet, please let us know.

10 days of silent meditation sounds hardcore!

glad you're doing well bud, congrats on taking huge steps into your next adventure

Hey, I just found this thread and thought I would wish you well. It sounds like we have a good deal in common.

I have a daily yoga practice (have done yoga for a decade on and off, this is the newest installment of a daily practice), meditate, ran an organic farm for 3 years, know a lot about permaculture, and play poker. I'm also going to a consciousness/heart based grad school for a master's in counseling here in the American Southwest (Santa Fe, New Mexico). Right now I'm working hard on my online game in an attempt to quit my restaurant job. GL out there, I'll be looking forward to your updates. I have a PGC thread also if you are interested.

Are you actually done with poker or just taking a break?

Will do.

Yeah, It was quite intense for me and others... Regardless, I'll be recommending it to ~all people with decent mental/physical fitness.


ty ty

It's been a good start in a new direction.

Cool. new mexico is the motherland for earthships.. so I'm considering making a visit. gl with online pokers.. I dont know your full story.. however, online poker seems like a ~useless skill set to develop in 2017 if you are in a first world country doing a masters degree. If I hit up new mexico lets meet up.

I don't have a definitive answer to this. I find it very unlikely I will ever spend more than 6 months per year playing poker. I also find it unlikely I will never play poker again.

It's possible that in 2018 poker will be my primary source of income, as I could see myself playing 1-3months depending on a few factors.

My 9 weeks in NZ is coming to a close.

The vipassana meditation was the major highlight, as expected. I learned about my mind and body, more-so than I have ever in any previous 10-day period. It was hard work, and sharpening my discipline and concentration muscles was good.

My stay at kawai purapura(retreat center) was another highlight. It wasn't because of the actual place, it was the people. I made some awesome connections with some great people. The experiences I had were amazing, and being able to share them was great. Gaining insight into the volunteering culture was worthwhile.

I also had a really good time in Coromandel. I stayed at hostels for about two weeks, mostly in whangamata. The connections I made there were awesome. The wwoofing I did out in the farm was a great intro into permaculture. Also, I got to see that building and working the land isn't an easy gig.

I've also come to realize that "moving costs" are high and increasing for me. There are several costs involved in moving locations. The physical/mental energy required to move. The time it takes to move. The money it takes to move. While hitching is fun, it amps up energy/time costs. Busing amps up $ cost, and it still has physical/time costs. Either way, you can't really avoid these costs of moving.

There is a larger cost which is starting to take its toll on me. I tend to enjoy interactions with established friends more than with new people. Any time I move, I'll be "spending" more energy in social interactions.

I used to enjoy moving because it provided new sights and experiences. These days I value new sights and experiences less, and I put more value into relationships and my internal experience. For instance, I didn't even visit the exotic south island of new zealand during my trip.

I intend to be spending more weekly and monthly stays in the next year. Fewer 2-4 day hostel stays.

My next stop is byron bay. I want to volunteer at a yoga studio/retreat center. I was planning on staying a month, but I may stay longer. They have an off-site 2week trial period.. then they provide free yoga, 3 vegetarian meals, and accommodation for garden work(mostly).

I've begun scouting wwoffing opportunities in Australia. After byron bay, the plan is spend 4-10weeks somewhere and help with a building project.

I drove by a few communities of these buildings, they were wild. And located near Taos Ski Valley which is a pretty badass place all around.

I'm glad to see that you're doing well and slowly getting out of poker.

Yeah, I imagine they are pretty cool. It seems like a good spot to visit.

Hope you are doing well, brother. Ski trip soon would be awesome.


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I have a story(poker related!) to share.

Around 3 years ago I dove into poker backing/staking. I ended up having some unfavorable dealings back when I started. I ended up losing money with a few horses and figured I'd never see that money again.. One of those unfavorable dealings was with Richard Gayler. I wrote about it a few years ago. Here is the post:

For the most part, I'm pretty satisfied with what is written here. I was pretty harsh at the end there. I'm a bit more compassionate now and probably wouldn't refer to people as scumbags even if they effectively steal monies. In fact, I have less drastic money collection dealing going on now and find myself feeling mostly sympathy for the other party involved(and some frustration..). Anyways, I regress.

I hadn't given much thought to the failed staking interactions over the last few years, until recently.. Immediately following the vipassana retreat, I drove into the city and powered on my phone. I was bombarded with 11days of mail/messages. I had a brief look over them and checking for messages that looked urgent/important. I found one sent from Richard Gayler.

Richard had wrote to me that my above post was recently brought to his attention. He had suppressed the whole interaction and felt horrible when he had read what was written. The interaction happened during a dark time in his life. He wrote that over the last couple years he had been engaged in personal development.

To my surprise, he wrote that he wanted make things right. He wanted to pay me back the amount owed from the stake, plus interest. I was pretty thrilled to read this. I provided a btc address and he promptly paid me back an agreed amount. We also set up a time to chat on skype because well, what an awesome action that was just performed. I was quite curious to learn about the journey of someone that goes from such a low trough to such a high peak in development so quickly.

During the following couple days I shared the story with a few people who were inspired with a new-found faith in humanity. They were also intrigued by the timing(as was I). I just happened to be on a retreat doing deep work on my mind/body and facing bad karmas of the past. As I come out of this work, I got Richards email. To me this is timing is quite intriguing, as Richard put it, "cosmic timing".

We had a good chat the other day where we shared our journeys over the last couple years, considered our paths over the next few years and shared thoughts and ideas on various topics, mostly related to personal development/accountability.

I haven't chatted with backer friends, but I imagine this type of event is rare. I'm so blessed on so many levels..

Really glad you posted this and that I read it.

Can you talk about your views on money/happiness through the lense/ learning of your drug experimenting and meditation? And if there is a connection between that and you moving away from poker and into volunteering/ yoga etc? And what your long term plans are if they have changed recently?

I've always had sort of a morbid fascination to professional poker players/gamblers. Every once in a while an article will come about about some big online pro who got out of the game/ moved on to other things. And it's always hinted that they are moving on to much bigger things... but they don't address the real reason they left poker- because they were losing their asses/ they became the fish.

Anyways, I get the impression that that is not the case with you. Like i'm sure you can still play small-mid stakes online and mid stakes live and still do ok and save money at least for a few more years... also curious what your reasoning for grinding live mtts and short stacking live hs plo was considering how much variance is involved in both..

Yeah sure, I'd enjoy talking about these things.

Yeah, I could make decent money playing poker. Probably for a few years. live mtts and hs plo I played simply out of $/hr expectation. hs plo got tougher over the last few years. There were fewer mistakes being made for stacks, even from the fish. I noticed that people adjusted really poorly to short stacks, so I started doing this. It's quite common now, many of the good regs will short stack tough games. I like to think I started the trend.. but I think I probably just figured it out independently, as did they. The variance relative to my bankroll was quite small. I sold action most of the time.

I had similar thinking for live mtts. They are just so soft. variance was also low relative to BR. I sold action for most mtts over 1k. In the end it turns out I actually lost money in both hs plo and live mtts. I think if I ran my sample 100 times I probably ended up in the ~75th percentile. Meh, life.

Before I started drug experimentation/meditation I was under the impression that I was a healthy individual living a noble life of collecting money through a card game. I had this view challenged in my first experiences with ayahuasca. It was very sternly communicated to me that dependence on money is making me sick. This was quite a shock to me. I didn't really understand the whys/hows. There seemed to be some sort of connection between fear and love, but I didn't really understand what was up.

I went back to my standard way of life and continued being a money slave. I had some awareness that it wasn't good but I figured that my future-self would appreciate a safety net of monies.. this was my logic and it seemed to make sense; so I continued.

I spent more time in the jungle and I came to learn more about myself, and about fear/love. I came to realize that I was living a life full of fear. I was amassing money and pinching pennies out of fear. Fear that I wouldn't be able to support myself in the future. Fear that I wouldn't "be enough" if I was poor. Fear that I couldn't be happy if I didn't have a good amount of money. Fear that I couldn't make money in the future.

I came to see that acting out of fear doesn't result in happiness. In fact, it drains energy. It results in tension and sickness. It isn't efficient. It's a way to live, and it works, but it isn't optimal.

I came to understand that acting out of love is a much better way of life. It feeds you energy. I understood this intellectually at first. I did thought-experiments asking what I would do if I didn't have a need for money. I asked what I do automatically without expectation of payment. I also learned through experience. I could spend hours teaching something with no monetary gain(example; this post/blog). I'd feel good for hours. I'm happy to massage someone if they are tense. Helping people feel good is the nuts.

Another important lesson I learned around this subject was that of confidence. I tend to underestimate myself. I like to be humble and not have a big of an ego. This is because I hate people with over inflated egos. On some level I'm afraid that if I indulge in my accomplishments/successes that I will become what I hate. I also fear I will lose motivation for personal development. I still have traces of this mode thinking today, but I'm more conscious of it. It is dangerous because it contributes to the fear program and also impacts decision making. If I believe I cant support myself in the future because I don't realize my worth then this contributes to money hoarding / energy draining in the present.

Meditation has taught me that the root of suffering is craving/aversion to sensations. Essentially, unconscious reaction to sensations. It's easily to understand this intellectually, but you can experience this through meditation. Vipassana teaches one to experience this. Stoic philosophy and sufism teach related principles to the intellectually inclined.

The volunteering, meditation and yoga stuff is related to a shift in values. I now believe mindfulness is very valuable. I think it is the key to "happiness". I want to explore the this path(particularly the start) in many different ways and help others to get started. This is something that I do actively and naturally on a daily basis out of love. I figure Its best if I cultivate effective ways to express this energy. I figure I can make this lifestyle sustainable through opening a center for people to explore/cultivate mindfulness practices. There may be other ways, but this seems like a great option.

I arrive in Byron bay. It's not how I remember it. It's packed with people. Prices are inflated. More homeless people have migrated here. Sale items at the grocery store are sold out. Flipflops are sold out. Everyone at the hostel is either looking for work or frustrated/complaining about work. The jobs available mostly involve cleaning up after rich people-- no wonder everyone is miserable. Rooms in houses are $800-1200/mo, hostels are about the same price. Everyone is drinking and smoking there frustrations away. Ah yes, I forgot; this is city life. The grind.

I've been exploring exploits of the grind. Its not that I need to exploit the grind, its that I want to. I've been cooking up a plan for Byron bay. I got up this morning to go explore the beach area and see if there was space to set up a tent and camp. I figured there wouldn't be because of demand. I explored around and couldn't find a single tent. This is actually a bit worrisome, as it could mean there are strict controls or lots of theft. Last time I was here I did see tents. I found a good spot to set up a tent. It's near the ocean and boxed in by a couple creeks, but crossable via fallen trees. Biggest downside is its pretty far from the city, and ~20 minutes to the nearest grocery store.

I will search other areas for camping over the next 2 days. But, I at least have a decent spot for shelter. I started asking around town if it was okay to camp in that area, and locals seemed to think it was fine. Okay, great. Time to set up a camp. Luckily, I have a friend that is lending me a tent. I went shopping today and got an air mattress, sleeping bag, and pillow for $37. I may purchase a tarp for $5 if the tent is lower quality. A ~$40 setup is a good gig, but I actually spent wayyy too much money. The homeless cartel control the second-hand air mattresses market. I decided that instead of waging war on the homeless that I would purchase a new one for $30. Oh well. I figure I can resell the items for ~$20-30 at a hostel/campground in town.

I also need to purchase a used bike. I figure this will take 1-2 hours and I'll buy for $80-100 and resell for $50-80. This will cut down travel times to 5-10 minutes.

I plan to sign up for an intro month at a local yoga studio. It's suppose to be one of the better studios in Australia. They have flow classes all morning and yin/relaxation classes at night. I figure I'll go 20-40times for $50-- sweet deal. Also, I assume they have showers and power outlets so that I can wash myself and charge my electronics.

For food, I plan to mostly eat raw. Lots of fruit, bread, nuts, avocados, peanut butter, and coconut oil. I can occasionally access a hostel kitchen during off-hours. I'll get a small secondhand gas stove($10-15?) for coffee/oats and such. If I stay for more than a month I may attempt fasting for a week or two. This would be a good time to do it.

I got plenty of data for $40/mo and reception is good at the campsite. If I get a mailing address I may purchase a solar panel charger for my phone.

I plan on storing my valuables in a locker at the nearby hostel. I will leave some food/clothing(the cheapest) near the tent. I figure digging a hole is the play here? I have a small bag to carry around essentials. I think this is the largest downside risk. I'll have ~$100 of goods at the campsite unattended during the day. Not sure what my equity is here could be anywhere from 10%-90%.

This is an experiment. I plan to camp for a month, but I don't know what will happen. I expect sleep quality should be around normal or slightly better than normal. It will be quiet, but the campsite will be less comfortable than a bed. My diet will suffer a bit(more bread, less veggies), and food costs will be 10-25% higher. I suspect there will be fitness gains. I'll be walking/biking more. I'll be motivated to practice yoga 1-3 hours/day. I'll have a better environment for meditation. That said, I think I can achieve a good quality of life over a one month period for ~$1000aus($760usd). A life that most (single) people could enjoy and that would enable them to work 10-20hours/wk, rather than 20-40 hours.

Freakin awesome. This may not be where you're going with it, but I keep thinking of the frugal lifestyle -mr money mustache man etc.

Basically, I'm in the rat race with two kids and no way out til they graduate high school. I feel I owe it to them, but maybe that's bad. Your concept of not being a slave to money is a big deal, cuz I feel it, but I evaluate it all the time, and don't see a better option.