Hi all,

Im going to write my full story, so it's going to be a wall of text. i could go in detail more, but then i would have to write a book.
Im 21year old europe guy living in Chiang Mai for the last 6months, playing poker. I have a thai gf and 2 Shi tzu dogs living in a $100 apartment/month.

Since i started with poker at around age 18 living with my parents, having no bills, playing xbox360 for most of the day, staying in room all day, going to sleep in morning, waking up afternoon, eating, playing xbox and poker, this was the life i had for like 2years and a half. I had build a life roll of like only $10.000 in that time period. I told my parents i was making way more of that and i made my income a secret but made them feel i made like 50.000-100.000.

Graph all games ( made about $2000 more from my previous)




As i was someone who like to save money and not spend it, them believed me and supported me in what i was doing. I could have made that amount if i could have played on the biggest pokersite. But for me not being to play almost 2 years on those sites, i kept lying to my family about it. I hoped them would believe me and keep support me until i was 21 so i could grind pokerstars again. Luckily they did and Im now playing on pokerstars again since mid july.

A big factor of having only 10.000 roll over a period of 2years was also coz black friday and then later on the law in my country changed to min age of 21 for online poker, which made me unable to play on the big sites and had to play partypoker and then after partp was unable, move to another smaller site and so on and on till i became 21 in July.

In March 2012, i decided to change my life, i decided to visit the country that I always wanted to visit, Thailand...
I came to thailand with my dad, but he only stayed for 1week, i stayed for 1month.
I liked everything about chiang mai, but i was a bit shy to do stuff on my own as i was living alone in my room for so long time which made me not very social.
With the liferoll i had, i was planning to visit more countries for like 1 month (not need visa).
Playing poker on the side, making somewhere between $500-$1000.
But that idea changed later on.

My intention in Thailand before i go was not looking for a gf. I had never a gf before and im very shy to attractive woman. No im not a dorky bad looking guy, im actually good looking ( i think...)

The main reason i came to thailand was to explore a bit and taste the food and live cheap and being alone in my apartment playing some poker and relaxing at the swimming pool.

But this is where the love story starts.
it began with finding an online dating site in thailand (thaifriendly). I had no intention of really meeting a thai lady irl, coz i was way to shy and i know i would not become anything serious and im not the person who want short relations knowing it will end sooner or later.
I used the dating site to know new places by chatting to other ladies and feeling not alone all the time when i wanted to talk with someone.

I had a few girls i daily talked too and it became an addiction of continously wanting to talk to the ladies that really liked to talk with me.
There were 2 ladies that i liked a lot, 1 lived in bangkok and the other lived also in chiang mai as i am.
I did liked the one in Bangkok the most, but she lived to far. After chatting for 2weeks and had 1 week left in thailand, the lady from chiang mai really wanted to meet me and pushed and pushed me into meeting. I said no for like 1 week, but then after pulling my balls together and had good feeling about it, maybe i should say yes for a meeting.
Eventually i said yes, and the next day she was going to come and meet me at my apartment in the evening. It was not like i was already in love from her pictures, she was an attractive 24years old woman, but nothing that made me say woow.

So when i openend the door for letting her in, she kind of ok looking and had a good smell and she is friendly. Not that i felt in love or anything.
I decided to bring her to a very romantic place at the river for having a nice dinner with candle lights.
So i was driving her to that place, until 1km before, police catched us for not wearing a helm and we had to pay about $7 and go different way. She told me we cant go this way anymore because they will cath us again when come back. She brought me to a place she know, street BBQ, very dirty and cheap and looks really low class to what i was used to. I looked a bit stupid, i had no idea what food i wanted and how to eat as it was my first time using this typical BBQ and how to prepare my food.
Luckily i was not very shy and felt comfortable with her.

After dinner was finish, we went to a night club and danced till around 2-3am, after that was finish, i took her back to my apartment so she could stay the night. ( no have any intention of having sex ^^) But when i arrived at my door, i realised i forget my key in my room and the door was locked and at the lobby they did not have a spare key for my room, them told us we had to wait till the morning so the owner could open the door for us.

We decided to go and stay the night at a hotel close by.
Obviously i wanted to impress her and i wanted to take her to one of the nicest hotels around ( shangri-la ). but she did not want to go, i forgot why, but we stayed at a cheaper place which was also ok and had 2 seperate single beds.
So when we arrive in our hotelroom, we each took a shower alone and then went to bed and tuned of the light. We talked a bit about our crazy and funny night while we were in our own bed. Then she asked me if i wanted to sleep next to her and hug her. I said, ok and smiled .
Then we looked eachother and we kissed ( my first kiss ever ).
I felt really good, but i was thinking more about if im kissing good or bad and i had no idea. Then she asked if i have condoms, i said "no i dont have, u want i go to buy in nightstore ?" She said nevermind we can do later. So we kissed some more and i kissed all her body and gave her a special treatment below.
We were tired and so after that we fall asleep at around 5.30am and we only sleeped a few hours as she had to go work (she work for a church and teach children)

I went to my apartment in morning and she went to her work, we chatted some more online and after that she stayed all week with me and we felt in love with eachother. I felt really good, but also sad i had to go back my country as my 1 month was almost finished.

After my 1 month is finished, she brought me to the airport and we told eachother bye bye and it was pretty awkward she did not show much emotion. But i told her i will come back for sure.

I couldnt come back fast, because she still had university in bangkok and she had to go back bangkok till christmass holiday.
We chatted for 8months with a lot of ups and downs. I was also still chatting with that other lady from bangkok who i liked a lot just from chatting.
She knew about this, she didnt liked it, but she was ok as i told her she is just a friend who i never meet before and i know her since the same time i know u and its hard for me to just break a friendship or stop talking to someone i have been talking to daily.

She said its ok, but i didnt realise i hurted her a lot by still having that lady from bangkok in my contact list and who i chatted with daily.
The more and more i talked with that other lady, the more i started to fall in love with her, just by talking over the internet and doing webcam.

My "love" was started to act really bad to me, ignoring, not answering me as i was not doing anything wrong, she was just really not showing any interest in me anymore and pushed me more into that other lady. I told her i not wanted to have relation with u anymore coz ur bad habits to me and lies. I didnt fully trusted her, so i made a fake profile on that dating site and made contact with her and ofcourse she answered and said to my fake profile, she was not sure about me and was open to meet a new man. She was kind of honest about having a bf already which is me, but the fact she was still on that dating site and talking with other man and not telling me the truth, made me realize this is not the girl i want to go back to.

After that she started to become really sad and devistated and made a blog about it and it really hit me. I didnt realize she was so sad about it as i didnt feel she would feel that bad as the way she treated me in chat.
I tried to ignore it for a couple of weeks, but still had contact with her.
I had really good feeling about the other lady in bangkok and we kind of fell in love with eachother over the internet and i told her i will come to meet u in August. We were like 2 childs being in love and she send me a gift which meant a lot she did this for me and she was just really funny and was a lot like me.

Then it is 5july 2012, my birthday... Both girls wanted to suprise me, so the one in bangkok bought a cake and she ate it with her friends. Then i got an email from the lady in chiang mai, she made a video which she told me she still hope i come back for her and how much she loved me and she sang a beautiful song to me.
Even i told her its over many time, she still fought for me everyday and she was really hurt that i not wanted to be with her anymore.
That video changed everything and my life.
I showed the video to my family and they really liked it and them told me, why u leave this girl, she really loves u and u should not give up on her. So i thought about what my parents said and they were right, i left my birthday cake on the table and jumped to my computer sending her a message. I wanted her back and asap.
I didnt even think about the lady in bangkok.
So i talked with lady in chaing mai and we told eachother we belong together and she will change her bad habit to me and i told her i want only u, even she know i had something with that lady from bangkok. I promised her i will stop everything with the lady from bangkok and want only u.
She believed me and i was just in a hard situation as i had 2 girls who i really liked and i had to make a choice.
The lady from bangkok who i never meet before or the only person i had real love with but was kind of a bad gf to me.
Lady from bangkok had no idea i was back in love with her and i was continously lying to both of them till i made a final decision.

Then i made a decision, i choosed the lady from bangkok, as i really liked her more than the lady i meet in thailand before. Even i never meet her before, she was just completely like me and saw myself being more happy with her than the other. I told them both the truth about the situation im in and how this has become. I felt like a really bad man, which im really not, but everything just happened and became the way it was at that moment.

I told the lady from chiang mai that i wanted to try have something with that other lady as i think we were too different and i not see a future together as she was super religious about God and Jesus, which i am absolutely not. ( kind of funny she have love and bf's before marry with her being so religious)
So i had to hurt her again for the 2nd time which was really really hard and an emotionaly rollercoaster.

Then she didnt really fight much for me anymore, but still had some contact and said she understand my decision.

So i was exited to possible have a real relation with the other lady who i liked a lot and was going to meet her in August.
Then something bad happened, the lady from bkk ever to give me a password for her fb, and i remembered it and i had a feeling she was still talking with other man, so tried to access her skype account and as soon as i got in, i got messages from many different farang man telling how beautiful she is and wanting to have sex and all that stuff which she all answered to in the same bad way.
he had hundreds of man. I had no idea how she could always talk with me and always have time for me and having so much other man she talked to daily.
I was completely shocked. she told me this is what she like, find bad man online and talk with them dirty and then hurt them. She told me she not serious about this, she saw it like a hobby, finding bad man online, have a kind a online relation with them, and then just drop them.

I found it kind of crazy and she didnt told me anything about it. I told her to stop completely with this, she told me she did. But i know she didnt, as i saw her making new profiles on that dating sites just so i could not see it. I could not believe her anymore, even we were so close and she was always there for me when i wanted to talk and always had fun talking, but never dirty talking about sex or anything of that. I really saw she really liked me as she also changed her fb status to have relation with me( lol ).

Even i know she might be serious about me and she just talk with other man coz she think its funny, i couldnt trust her anymore and i ended the virtual relation and we stayed friends in chat. She cried a lot over webcam and tried to fight for me and she was hurt a lot, but things like that i just cant accept it.

I told all what happened to the lady from chiang mai what happened. She told me she know what kind of person that lady from bangkok really is and know this would have happened and she said i hope u learn from my mistake.
I didnt want her to feel like 2nd choice, but i wanted her back a lot. She changed the way she talked to me and she acted a lot better to me. I ask if she could forgive me and she did for the last time as she really believed im the man she want to be with even i hurted her 2 time.
She told me she was wrong to me too and understand i had feelings for other lady and hope i learned from that and never do again.
I promised her to never do that again.

So we chatted for couple more months, became really close and know more about eachother from chatting and webcam. We even started having dirty webcam session if u know what i mean. Never thought i would do that, but if u miss someone for so many months and feel horny so many time when talk with her, it just happens at one moment and then it happens again and again.

So finally it is chirstmas holiday and i go back to chiang mai for meet her again and her family and stay again only 1 month as she have to go bangkok after holiday and she stay in dormitory, so she cant go outside in week days.
We had a really good month together and we were really comfortable with eachother and i really saw a good future with her and we both wanted it. She wanted to marry with me as she had to marry with me if she wanted we stay together.
Coz her religion we had to marry and her family and friends are very pushy into marrying.
I said ok to everything, bought her a ring, took her on a special weekend, engaged her and we planned a wedding for 28 december 2013.
I thought, it will be ok, i will find a reason for not marrying that soon or maybe i will if im really sure and ready.
Obviously all her family and friends are looking forward to this wedding...

Now after being here in chiang mai with her and our 2 shi tzu dogs for the past 6 months in a row, the wedding is coming really close. I decided already i really want to marry with her as she is the love of my life, we both in love with eachother and want a future together.

But everything is now turning out bad. I started again playing on pokerstars 13 July.
I immediately started out in the worst stretch i imagine was possible at those stakes. I was playing $3.5 and $7 turbo sitngo's(18man and knockout + normal and turbo fr) with a roll of like 500-750 left as i spended my liferoll on life expenses. I thought, its not a problem i will grind this little roll back in no time as i could easily multitable 20+ tables.
But the doomswitch was on for my first 1500 games on pokerstars. I had no idea what i was doing wrong, my ev was ok, but nothing what i would expected.
My game was solid, i reviewed a lot and could only blame bad card distribution and bad beats as i was playing so low, the level of play was ridiculous and i really considered myself the best at every stake.
I kept having terrible sessions with a crazy amount of bad beats that i never thought was even possible. I really thought ps has doomswitched my account for real. I was just ahead of my opponents the whole time and getting it in good, but it seemed there was no end to this bad beat festival. I had to move down to $1.5 games. Emotionaly it was very hard and for my gf, i showed her everything.

I had to withdraw money for my monthly expenses and had left $100 in my ps account. Luckily my family sended me money for my birthday so i was able to cover all monthly expenses and gave my roll $125 more.
I was at around $225 liferoll. Start of a new month... august...

I grinded it up till $750 playing 1.5 and 3.5 games with not that many games as i had to take care my gf and dogs aswell and do some stuff to keep them happy.
I was happy i made enough to cover all my expenses for that month.
Now we are september, i have a liferoll of around $225 again, $100 on ps and $125 in cash. And tomorrow i have to pay for my gf teeth bracelt which is $100...
Luckily she have her paycheck of $150 tomorrow for her work( she work for church, this reason she make so little)

Next week i have to go Loas for a new visa which probably going to cost me about $200(visa, travel, hotel...) it was unexpected as i had 1 more entry on my visa( good for 3 months).
But my visa was expired and i was 8 days too late( i am on my extension good till 28september) I felt so stupid i looked my visa wrong, i thought i had to cross border before 28september which is my extension expiry date, not the visa expiry date. So its an unexpted cost for this month made by my stupid mistake and which brings me a lot of trouble money wise.

Then i have to pay my monthly rent before 5th of every month which is $125 incl water and electricity.
Then i have to pay motorbike which is mothly $100
And still need money for food for me and my gf and 2 dogs.
I told myself i will be grinding all day now, but things just dont go my way, yesterday pokerstars client did not open all afternoon for people from my country, then i had some issues with tableninja not working good, now today is a new day and off to a bad beat start. Seems like im not going to make it from playing 1.5 games.
My backup plan is to give my gf macbook air from last years, with box and everything and them will give money to us and we can bring back that macbook when we have that money again.
Also the engagement ring i bought her i can sell, she allow as she understand we need money.
I told her i need money so i can play higher and get out of this money problem. As i always have to withdraw my winnings for every month, i keep stuck at the micro levels... Im happy i have such good gf who helps me and stays with me even when times are bad.

Doing that all should give me enough for cover my monthly expenses and give me a fresh start of the month and a new visa and chance to grind it up nd fast.
Reason i not ask my family for money, as i never did, is because they still think im pretty rich and no have any money problem. They always believed in me and my dream and if i would tell them im close to busto now, they will be so devistated and probably want me to come back to home country and very dissapointed and angry i lied to them. I know i can make it happen on my own, but it would be vey helpful if i have a little boost so i could play higher and make my lies not really lies but reality.

I need about $2000 for everything about the wedding, we planned a cheap wedding. I know i could easily do that by end december, but probably not from playing 1.5 games.


Monthly bills

Rent + electricity + water ; $125
Food ; $200
Motorbike + gas ; $125
Gf teeth bracelet ; $100
Internet + gf phone ; $40
other stuff that is needed(visa, washing soap, shampoo,..) ; ...


July graph ( mostly 18man and my knockout turbos are tracked wrong, should be about $100 less) ( ran ridiculously bad in 18mans and knockouts)( never had any bad luck close to this)




August graph




September graph so far



That's it, my story and i will keep my progress updated itt. I hope to make it and marry the woman of my life. Wish me luck and i want to use my one time !

I read the whole article and I cannot believe what a huge idiot you are.

- Don´t get married.
- Leave your girlfriend, because you do not deserve her.
- Talk to your parents before you sell your girlfriend´s engagement ring.

I dont know what make u think i not deserve her, i help her with everything, i give my love to her everyday, i give to her everything she needs, im close with her family and people from her church. I give everything she needs as she can't support herself much with $150 a month.
I basically almost spend my whole life roll taking care of her and myself.
Beginning of our relation she was the one who was bad gf to me and pushed me into someone else. Luckily we came back together and we are both very happy as of today we have eachother.
Yes i would rather not marry this soon, as i not have the money and im still very young and would like to spend more time as of it is now. But because of her being so super religious and work for the church, her and all her family and friends, we are being pushed in getting married asap. I was able to delay the wedding till end this years instead of April or August. I've thinked a lot about this and yes i would want her to be my wife but not as soon. But if i have the money, i would be ok with marrying her this fast.
talking to my parents is not an option, my dad is a succesful business man and my mother is pretty strict, if them would know the situation im in, they would come and get me back to my home country, put me to work and not allow i would play poker. Which is probably not a bad idea, but i want my dream happen real, i not want to lose love of my life and go do a 9-5 job while i know i can make a living from poker in thailand very easily if i have some back up money. I have to take care of her and our 2 dogs, and just running away from that situation is something very selfish and only bad people would do. There is always a way.
Engagement ring is ok to sell as she would get a new one when we marry and she would rather have a new one as she didnt like this ring completely.

its ok to call me an idiot, as i let it come so far and being lazy in poker. I would never let myself get this deep ever again if i get out of it. I know what is the safest and best way. Get to my home country, get a job and play poker on the side untill i have a decent roll to play poker for a living. This is the easy way, but not the way i want it. i should try and do it the way it is now for make my dream happen.

Btw i bought her an iphone 5, macbook air and the newest vespa 150cc. As i was trying to look high to her by giving everything she dreams of. I had to change that 3 months ago and i was open to her about it all and she understanded it and never left my side. She would even be ok to sell it all just for us being ok again money wise.
I even sold my motorbike and all my xbox360 games 7 months ago before i come thailand, just so i could buy things for her she dreamed of.
Yes i was stupid, but i learned from it and im sure im not the only one who ever did this for a girl.

This lol. OP confirmed idiot

level

No way you can be this stupid. Like your literally dumber then the dog **** I just passed 5 minutes ago.

Who would go into so much trouble for this.

OP, I sincerely hope that you live your life the way you want to and can be with your girlfriend. In some ways I can personally relate to your story and understand the decisions you made. Hope you will do well poker-wise very soon. But above all just be happy with your girl.
On the end where you are being pressured into marriage that is a bit of complicated and not something I would go through with and if her family loves you than they should let the two of you have some time. However, when religion comes into play, they CAN (emphasis on can) forget all that and tell you to get married asap.

Good luck at the tables and in life!

I'm no expert re the ladeez, but selling an engagement ring to carry on the grind can't bode well (paging King Niche )

Common people to call this guy a idiot is not nice!!!!Maybe he could do things smarted but we learn from or mistakes!!!I wish you gl sir and hope you will win some money so you can build your bankroll and pay for the things you need!!!One thing making so much money on 1,5sng will be hard but still gl

LOL i really hope this is a level.
I think its the biggest text i've ever read in an online forum, im surprised with myself

I hope it is real love, you are to young for this ****:-). I am doubtful though after reading your story. I am married to a thai woman and a lot older than you and i have been making mistakes before. I have never never met a thai woman that is good that wants to sleep with a man the first night. They not exist . I have lived in Thailand and knows a lot about their culture etc. I really hope i am wrong and that its real love and that she not leave u when u busto. My advice is take the first plane home and tell your family all. Thailand will always be there when you have a better life situation. Good luck Khap.

You sound like such a catch. I've never laughed so much reading a post before, lol.

I hope everything turns out well for you though.

Please play the 6m hyper turbo 30s, 60s and 100s on stars.
We can always use a good regular like yourself there.

Graphs look ok though...he's just a life fish is all.

Wow you're a loser lol this can't be real

Flicked through the wall, skipped some stuff but...

In b4:

- GF/wife starts to go out at night more, to "catch up with her friends" and "its ok that she doesn't come home at night cause she stays at one of her friends house."

Wow.

OP, what is your native language?

No way that's happening. GF eventually chops off OP's manhood and sells it to a street vendor.

You forgot to tell us about the autism you struggle with

Man i love the internet

This can't be real lol.

Pretty sure you can sit out at the 1.50s and get that graph.

Wow