4287

Ran 3.5 mi yesterday which puts me past my 16 mi goal for the week at 17.1 mi. I still might run today and/or tomorrow as I've been enjoying it and the weather's been awesome.

Giving myself the 1h study yesterday. It was very broken apart--15 min here, 8 min there--but I plugged away at it even after I got home from work and I'm pretty sure I hit the hour mark in total. As mentioned in earlier posts I want to be thinking about poker as much as I can and when I study some during downtime at work it means poker is on my mind throughout my workday.

I'm giving up on the core workouts goal for this week. They are still important as I want a strong core and I want to counteract the atrophy and tight muscles that result from sitting for 8h; however, I'm happy w/getting in a lot of outdoor running in this week. The 8 mi run especially seemed to help my back feel tension free. I mostly run on trails and I think this helps even more (as compared to a treadmill or road or sidewalk) as it provides more variation in how I move my body and thus is good for the discs and muscles of my back.

I can still hit the 6h mark of my study goal if I put in an hour today and an hour tomorrow.

4389

Goals Report:

1) Study: I probably studied 5h. Not quite the 6h of my goal, but I'm still happy w/this. I had a busy week as I worked two extra short shifts; I got a new clutch put in my car; my sponsee is having relationship issues and thus needed to talk for some hours about that; and the usual balance of work, parenting, and NA.

2) Core Workouts: Hahaha! All I did was plank for 4min one time.

3) Running: Ran 5 days for a total of 22.3 mi. Blew my goal of 16 mi away.

4) Hands Played and Win/Loss: 875 hands played; +242.

I'm surprised to see that I didn't play many hands, but I did substitute study time for play time. As I mentioned above too, it was a busy week. I'll keep at it. Not going to set a volume goal this week. I want to continue with the theme of getting as much study as I can in while balancing everything else out. I will continue to run a lot. Instead of core workout goals my goal will be to go to the gym 3 times for >=30 min each.

Goals: 3/24 thru 3/30

1) Study at least 30 min each day and total >= 5h for the week.

2) Run at least 20 mi.

3) Go to the gym 3 times for at least 30 min each.

4) Report hands played and win/loss at the conclusion of the week.

Kept my running goal a little low, but I want to make sure I get in some core work too. I don't want to overdo it. However, I may find myself getting into it and running 25+ mi.

Don't overcomplicate things at these stakes. I couldn't click call quickly here enough even without the flusdraw. You have an overpair, he has less than a full stack. Just call this every single time and shrug off the times you are beat.

^Thanks! Yeah, played that hand a while ago. I'd like to say my game has improved a lot since then, but I don't know that it's a ton different. Going to keep working on my game tho.

Hand History driven straight to this forum with DriveHUD Poker Tracking Software

NL Holdem $1(BB)
SB ($115.32) [VPIP: 21.3% | PFR: 8.5% | AGG: 16.7% | 3-Bet: 0% | Hands: 48]
BB ($68.62) [VPIP: 37.5% | PFR: 0% | AGG: 12.5% | 3-Bet: 0% | Hands: 8]
HJ ($261.96) [VPIP: 20.8% | PFR: 16.7% | AGG: 40% | 3-Bet: 0% | Hands: 48]
HERO ($111.01) [VPIP: 27.2% | PFR: 20.8% | AGG: 35.9% | 3-Bet: 7.6% | Hands: 135543]
BTN ($119.9) [VPIP: 40.5% | PFR: 31% | AGG: 31% | 3-Bet: 13.3% | Hands: 43]

Dealt to Hero: 4 4

HJ Raises To $2.50, HERO Calls $2.50, BTN Raises To $11.50, SB Folds, BB Calls $10.50, HJ Folds, HERO Calls $9

Hero SPR on Flop: [1.52 effective]
Flop ($37.5): J A J
BB Checks, HERO Checks, BTN Checks

Turn ($37.5): J A J 2
BB Checks, HERO Checks, BTN Checks

River ($37.5): J A J 2 8
BB Checks, HERO Checks, BTN Bets $15 (Rem. Stack: 93.4), BB Folds, HERO Raises To $99.51 (allin), BTN Folds



Hand History driven straight to this forum with DriveHUD Poker HUD and Database Software

NL Holdem $1(BB)
BTN ($30.49) [VPIP: 20% | PFR: 13.3% | AGG: 9.1% | 3-Bet: 0% | Hands: 30]
SB ($102.77) [VPIP: 40.7% | PFR: 18.5% | AGG: 12.5% | 3-Bet: 0% | Hands: 27]
BB ($108.57) [VPIP: 20.7% | PFR: 17.2% | AGG: 25% | 3-Bet: 7.1% | Hands: 30]
UTG ($138.51) [VPIP: 23.3% | PFR: 20% | AGG: 33.3% | 3-Bet: 21.4% | Hands: 30]
HJ ($93.88) [VPIP: 56.7% | PFR: 26.7% | AGG: 25.8% | 3-Bet: 0% | Hands: 30]
HERO ($124.7) [VPIP: 27.2% | PFR: 20.8% | AGG: 35.9% | 3-Bet: 7.6% | Hands: 135543]

Dealt to Hero: Q Q

UTG Raises To $3, HJ Folds, HERO Raises To $9, BTN Folds, SB Folds, BB Folds, UTG Calls $6

Hero SPR on Flop: [5.93 effective]
Flop ($19.5): J 5 7
UTG Checks, HERO Bets $11 (Rem. Stack: 104.7), UTG Calls $11 (Rem. Stack: 118.51)

Turn ($41.5): J 5 7 7
UTG Checks, HERO Bets $20 (Rem. Stack: 84.7), UTG Calls $20 (Rem. Stack: 98.51)

River ($81.5): J 5 7 7 8
UTG Bets $85 (Rem. Stack: 13.51), HERO Calls $84.70 (allin)



This hand I played midday vs non-maniac. The check-call, check-call, shove river line is pretty nutted in my experience. I think as I move up stakes and learn more about poker I think I level myself. I think I thought that Villain thought that I'd think that that line was pretty nutted and that Villain knew that I thought that and so I thought that Villain thought that it is a good spot to bluff me off op's. I need to keep my game pretty basic; I don't think I should change much from 50NL to 100NL and from 100NL to 200NL. Eventually I might work some improvements into my game. It'll first be hashed out away from the table tho. Sometimes I still fall into FPS. I think I'm being extra crafty when in reality I'm burning money and playing like an idiot. I played 2 or 3 hands last night which fell into this category. I'm going to save myself the embarrassment and the space in this thread by not posting them.

Oh yeah,

BR: 4202

despite lighting about 200 on fire last night and the bad call in the QQ hand earlier in the day. I'm grateful to still have a healthy BR. evbb/100 at 100NL is 5.30 across 31,434 hands. bb/100 is 1.89.

For hand 1, what was the thought process behind x/j the river, after it went xxx? It seems very dangerous IMO. BTN has the nutted range advantage. We might have slightly more flushes, and maybe a couple more boats, but checking all three streets makes it difficult for us to rep those hands. It worked, which is good, but it seems like a very dangerous play.

Keep up the good work though, seems like you're progressing very nicely!

^Thank you! IRT hand 1 I will continue to think about it, but AK, or some other ace are what I thought Villain had. Sure I don't think it makes a ton of sense for Villain to bet with those holdings because what are they getting value from? But it does make sense for Villain to bet those because it wasn't that long ago that my game was at a similar level. You're just not enumerating combinations and thinking that hard. I think this is common enough in regs at 100NL. If you are looking at things from more of a theoretically sound poker perspective maybe x-shoving here is wrong.

3867

Some run bad today. Dropped about 4BI's. evbb/100 is 4.81 over 32933 hands and bb/100 is a measly .85. Gii good or flips and lost. Also, Villains hit runner, runner flush and such.

Time for a change. I'm taking from now till Sunday, June 2nd off from playing. I was considering this before today's runbad. There's so much study that I want to do, but I hardly have the time for it. By only studying I can get back in sinc w/taking care of my body, and w/taking care of life's responsibilities. I've been feeling burnt out from weird sleep patterns from playing late into the night and not getting enough sleep. I've had a cold the past week or so. I haven't been going to the gym. I've fortunately been running, but I'd like to do even more of that and do a better job of getting great sleep between runs. I'm excited. Sure playing will call. A LOT. I want to stick to this tho. I will shoot for at least 10h study/wk starting next week. Btw, I know a combination of study and play is effective for improving. But I just can't fit it in and maintain my health and mental sharpness right now. Thus, this appears to be the way. I'm definitely afraid of falling off the wagon here as playing is a lot of fun. I want this tho. We'll see.

3929

I played a 45min sesh Saturday night. It was so much fun. I've been studying pretty hard when I have the chance. So still going to play though I did need the 3 days off. I pushed playing too far and got burnt out. I've been picking up as many extra hours at work as I can and between that, poker, parenting, etc I've been a little burnt out. I'm currently experiencing some sciatica. I haven't worked out in weeks. Between not working out and working the extra hours (and sitting and playing poker) it makes sense that my back is a little out of whack. Going forward I'm going to get in more workouts across the week and still mostly study and not worry about volume. I want my play to be a part of my learning process right now. Maybe some months down the road my game will be more established and I can focus on playing more. Also, eventually there won't be as much extra work at work available and that will free up a lot of time and energy.

Btw, yet another woman on my radar. I've been running into this uber hot and smart girl who likes to run. I know her from NA, but have been running into her elsewhere. She really seems like she wants to hang out, exchange numbers, etc. I was a little put off by her at first as it felt like she was coming on kind of strong, which is a turn off for me. Also, I thought she would be someone who is pretty, but w/o depth of personality. The more I get to know her that doesn't seem to be the case. She only has about 3 months clean tho. That means her life is a mess and she needs a lot help to become more established in staying clean and feeling grounded. She's the overachiever type tho and seems to have her life more together than the average recovering addict w/90 days clean. I'm hesitant to get anything going w/her because I've been loving working a lot and having some time for poker. Parenting will continue to be at the top of my priority list. So between her minimal clean time and simply not wanting a gf because I want to have that time to spend on poker and elsewhere I'm not sure what to do. We'll see.

4477

I think this is a new BR high; that's exciting. I've been continuing to study and that's exciting as well. I can see my game changing a little bit. I will likely keep at it tho I won't have much time again if I get involved w/this hottie who wants to hang out. She's into running so that's a huge plus. Seems really smart and has a good sense of humor too. But I don't know her that well so it might turn out that in a few months I complain here about all the trouble I got myself into by getting involved w/her. I'm so torn tho because I want to continue playing and studying poker. Can't I do both? I won't have much time left if I get involved w/her, but I can continue poker some. We'll see.

Oh yeah, I wanted to mention that at times since the last update I've found myself discouraged. I've run bad at times and I think the combination of run bad and the software update had me out of sorts a few days ago. I'm now more used to the new software and run bad is a part of poker that I need to accept in order to be a good poker player.

4297

evbb/100 6.26 35859 100NL hands

bb/100 2.11

So the hottie gave me her phone number yesterday. I was prepared to give her mine, but she beat me to it. I told her we should go for a run sometime when it's nice out. She got a little flirty which is cool. I'm into her, but I told myself to take it slow and it doesn't mean I need to quit poker. If I'm not keeping myself happy by doing the things I love just to try to please someone else then the relationship will crumble anyway. She does want me to do this obstacle course race in June which I think I will do. I want to be in better shape for it. Probably a 50/50 mix of running and working out would get me in the kind of shape I would want to be in. In recent weeks I've almost been solely running. Besides putting on a little muscle and looking better and being better prepared for the obstacles working out counters the beating I take sitting in the bus driver's seat. I've had some pretty bad sciatica the past 3 weeks or so and I've mostly been ignoring it. It can't be good tho and I think it's wise to do something about it(working out I think made it go away in the past. I think last time I was working out it went away and I just forgot I ever had it.) I worry that more negative consequences could come from it if I let it go.

4246

evbb/100 6.18 across 37198 hands; bb/100 2.24

Pretty slow going w/the hottie who gave me her number. That's actually a good thing. The way is to not be too stuck on her as there are plenty of other attractive women in the city I live in. Also, I find myself happiest when I'm not so stuck on a woman and simply doing the things I enjoy in life instead. Tho not everything I enjoy in life can I do alone. Just not the same.

I'm still stoked about poker and find myself wishing I had the BR to play live. It is over an hour drive to the closest casino that offers poker, which sucks, but since they no longer offer poker at the casino that was a little closer I wonder if there's even more poker being played at the one in Milwaukee. Anyway, I'm motivated to continue building my BR and my game.

I ran 51 miles last week which is a personal record. My previous best was 42 miles. I did however run these 51 miles at a slower average pace than when I ran 42 miles in a week. It was a lot of fun tho. All of it I did on the trails and roads in and around the arboretum. I'm considering getting back into working out this week. I'd like to fix the sciatica I've been experiencing for the past 4 or 5 weeks I think. Also, I'd like to put on some upper body muscle. It's awesome to be lean(running 51 miles in a week will do that), but it'd be more awesome to be lean and muscular. I actually enjoy working out too. Not quite as easy to get into as a run in the arb on a nice day, but I enjoy the whole process of it. Also, I want to do some shoulder exercises as turning the bus steering wheel all day has wrecked many a driver's shoulders. A bus driver buddy of mine just hurt his shoulder really badly when he drove over a pothole and the steering wheel jerked suddenly. One shoulder tendon is completely separated and two more torn. So I want to do some simple shoulder exercises to strengthen those tendons. Sure, the working out I do is to focused on building strength and function over building muscle and looking good. It still has me looking good in the end tho if I do it enough.

3981

Played 7 hours 40 minutes straight last night. I only got up to pee and grab some bananas to eat. I'm pretty sure that's the longest I've ever played online w/o a break. What did I learn from it? I wasn't feeling great going into it as I currently have mild flu symptoms since last Friday. I was also feeling some emotions over where my life is at at age 38. I have some really positive and hopeful things going. Poker is one of several things that I think are a positive. (Or is poker a net negative?) I have some regrets from prior to when I got clean (11.5 years ago). Also, I still have some feelings revolving around cutting my parents and sister out of my life. So poker or no I've still got the same life to face. I found myself discouraged last night after I finished 1 BI down instead of the 3.5 BI's up that I was at one point. Really I was hoping to hit the 4.5K mark and finish there or better. That's just wasteful thinking tho. It's akin to something a buddy said to me a long time ago. He said, "What's your favorite hole card hand? I mean the one you get and you think something good is going to happen--like your lucky hand." He said something like that anyway and I replied AA is my favorite hole card hand and I didn't want to offend him by telling him how stupid it was to think that way. My point here is that when playing and thinking about poker some thinking is on track to increasing your winrate and some is not. I think it follows that if we want the highest winrate we can have we want the least possible amount of wasteful thinking incorporated in our play and study. So last night when I was feeling emotional over family stuff and stuff from the past I did at least acknowledge the fact that I was having that thinking and those emotions going on. I think I did a pretty good job of keeping it in check and then focusing on playing. I think there's some other thinking that came up probably 4 or 5 hours into the session. I started playing a lot wider and 3betting more. I think this was good to a degree, but I think I took it too far. Also, I'm still coming to terms w/the fact that while I use a HUD and pay attention to what my opponents are doing they are doing the same thing. My image matters. They will play, at least to some degree, according to my image. I ran an all-in bluff OTT w/QJ on a KTxK board in a 3bet pot. I thought I was repping AK. Villain called w/K3s or something like that. But as I type this out I know this bluff would have been better on a brick turn. The K makes it less likely I have that last K. Combine that w/a very aggro image and I think it's a good call. I still have a lot to learn and that's why I don't think it's a good idea to play that long w/o a break. I think my game was off the last 3h. I can see expert players playing at a high level for 8 or 10 hours. So much of their game is unconscious, automatic. My game is pretty raw. I need to verbalize my thoughts. I need to slow down and say that that turn K is not a good spot to bluff at. Thus, where I want to go w/my game is back to the 5 min break every hour. I also want to list all the mistakes and questions that I see in my poker journal--my paper poker journal. I recently read from somewhere that handling information via pen and paper is more effective in learning than typing is.

evbb/100 is 5.33 across 39911 hands after last night

I want to push to play my A-game every session.

Don't play 7.5 hours straight. It's not good for your brain or your game.

The top players play 8 to 10 hours of high level poker pretty much only if they're playing live. No top player in the world plays their A game online after 8 to 10 hours. In fact, I'd go so far as to say only a small percentage play their A game at the 6 hour mark.

Online poker is taxing. There is so much you have to pay attention to, and usually at multiple tables. And if it isn't at multiple tables, then often one has something to distract them, either on the side or in their mind.

Nice to see you start to put the volume back in though! Keep it up.

^Thanks! It did feel good to get that much volume in. You're probably right about the rest of what you said though.

4250

evbb/100 6.47 over 41034 hands

bb/100 2.28

Ran 36 miles last week. Tweaked my knee a bit on the last run. So I took Friday thru yesterday off from running. Got two like 2h workouts in yesterday and Tuesday. I love working out, but I pushed myself pretty hard and found myself exhausted and a little sore today. Got a slow 5.5 mile run in today and my knees felt fine. I know a guy who's in his 70's and he runs a couple of marathons each year. He also has run this 20 mile race in the area for like 40 years straight. He said there is one guy who's run it more consecutive years, but that was a few years ago so who knows at this point. Anyway, he swears by running on the gravel shoulder of the road or on paths as how his knees still function at that level. When he first told me this about 8 years ago I went with it mostly to be polite. But as I age I'm so glad he said this to me. I'd rather do it his way and be able to run 20 miles at age 70 than not be able to run.

My sciatica is starting to feel a little better already from the workouts. There's sometimes some attractive women there too. I'm not currently super concerned about meeting anyone. It actually seems like there's lots of opportunities to establish something with someone throughout my day. There's always dating apps too. But I just don't care enough. It usually comes back to that I like my life the way it is. I keep super busy as it is and what would I want to give up for time spent w/a woman? Poker would be the first thing. Then would be exercise and then sleep. I don't want that. I'm having fun playing and studying poker. So she'd have to be really special.

4817

evbb/100 7.53 41997 hands

bb/100 3.62

Been sun running, but also being more aggressive in spots.

Still hitting the gym some and running a little bit, but not much. I want to get organized and do more of both. I've been going to the gym around 10p at night, which I don't like because then I've found myself going to bed sometimes past 2a. I've found myself tired from the workouts and maybe I just needed to catch up on sleep. I've found myself sleeping >10h at a time if I can.

Btw, my daughter started soccer a few weeks ago. She's the worst soccer player on her team. She had her first game last Saturday and that was really clear. On at least a couple of occasions she pulled a teammate aside to engage in conversation when the ball was live. I told her afterwards that that was what I wanted to improve most of all--to at least be on task when on the field. Dribbling, kicking, and speed are the other three areas I see that we can improve. We've only gotten one practice in w/just the two of us since last Saturday. I told her if she wants to continue w/soccer we have to work at it. She's 5 now and nobody yelled at her for being so bad at soccer. But two of her teammates were very upset that their team lost. And as my daughter gets older soccer will only be more and more competitive and the way she plays now will be unacceptable to teammates and coaches. I'm hesitant to push her too hard. A lot of parents I talk to are afraid to push their kids too hard and from what I can see hardly push them at all. Maybe it's just the circle of parents I've come across from my daughter's school. I think some pushing is ok. As long as it's done in a loving fashion. The "warm-demanding" parenting style is supposed to be the best according to one of my favorite parenting books. It intuitively makes sense to me. I think so often I've forgotten to think about this style though and simply strived for the "warm" part. By losing the "demanding" part though one can let a 5 year old call the shots. It's actually very loving to demand that she does better and help guide her even though in the moment it feels like work.

4419

Had a couple bad sessions a week and a half ago and then started playing Fortnite at my roommate's urging, which turned out to be a big waste of time other than the fact that I did have a lot of fun playing it. The problem is that I haven't allowed myself to play FPS or any video games for about the past 20 years as I deemed them a waste of time. Nowadays w/professional gamers I see the draw. For someone like me it is probably more reason to NOT play Fortnite as I'm sure there's millions of people younger than me putting in a **** ton of hours each week working on their Fortnite game. I don't have that kind of time to practice/play and my reaction time isn't getting any faster. So it felt really good to play poker for 20 min this morning and feels good to come here and update my thread. I still want to work toward having a BR to play live, while at the same time leaving a BR on Ignition. I also, want to improve my game along the way. Current stats:

evbb/100 6.35 42566 hands

bb/100 2.64

4511

Played a 40+4 tourney last night. Was a lot of fun. Took 11th out of like 110, won ~50 after buy-in. Was in 1st a lot at the end, but three or four bad hands and was out. The field seemed soft. I'll probably mix in some more tournies, but mostly stick w/cash. Played 2 100NL tables alongside the tourney. Made two big, dumb mistakes there. QQ on a JTxr board, get raised otf, V bets 22 ott, shoves river. We block KQ draws there. V had TT. I think call flop, fold turn. This type of hand has been something that I've had issues w/throughout my entire poker playing. I often fold there, but it's a sign that that part of my game isn't solid enough. It was the last hand I was playing as I was towards the end of the tourney and was going to close the cash tables and so was a little distracted. I had caught a big bluff or two earlier in the session, but I'll have to go back and look at the details for the differences between the bluffs and this hand. This line seems pretty standard set though. The other mistake hand I misclicked and got myself into a hand that should have been folded pre. Glad to be back at poker after a few weeks of getting sucked into fortnite. I'm a little ashamed to admit that since it's such a waste of time. Was a lot of fun tho. But poker's just as fun and I can win money at it. Btw, might hit up the live poker scene in Milwaukee as early as next week. My roll isn't where I want it to be, but I actually have enough in savings to have a roll for it. I think my game is probably strong enough, but at the same time could be a lot better.

4818

Back at it; done w/fortnite. What a waste of time that was (despite being lots of fun). Poker is fun too and it's something I feel good about. I haven't really won enough money at it to write home about, but I'm working on my game still and we'll see where it goes.

Btw, I found a couple of live poker vloggers that I found to be a lot of fun: Ben Deach and Matt Vaughan.

5519

Took 1st in a 30+3 tourney for 884.

Way to go, that's awesome!

^Thanks! Yeah, it was pretty awesome. Going into the final table I think I had about 600K chips to a couple of 100-150K stacks and some 8K-60K stacks. So I pretty much dominated. When it was down to last 2 I had ~1.2m to Villain's ~120k or something like that. Definitely had a lot of luck, but I also feel like my tournament game is so much better than the field that I've seen the 2 tournies I played in the past couple of weeks. I haven't studied tournaments a ton (I'd like to know more about ICM), but I'd like to have a tournament game as well as a cash game. I'm thinking more and more about playing live some in the upcoming weeks and there's a more substantial (200k gtd) tourney coming up in Milwaukee in mid-July. Considering playing it. Tho I'm not aware of any tourney structure that does not reflect the dramatic variance that is so often mentioned. I think I'd have a lot of fun tho and despite the variance I think I would still make it plus ev.

After not posting here for 6 months here's an update:

I haven't played much poker between June 2019 and now. I played a lot of Fortnite (yeah, I'm such a kid, but it was fun) during free-time. Once September started there became a lot of OT available at work and the pay is so good that it's hard to turn down. I'd have to be an online crusher to outdo what I make doing OT and I have no interest in being an online crusher. I love poker, but I enjoy it most of all playing live, which I started doing somewhere last fall. I've only made the 1h 15min drive to Milwaukee to play 5 times so far. I've played around 10h each time. It's so much fun! I think I will keep doing it and may get back into some goals to track here. The Milwaukee casino appears to have a good poker scene going. It's mostly 1/3 NL, but they've usually had at least one 2/5 NL table going too. I'm not at the 2/5 level--both BR and skill set have to be improved for that--but it's an unofficial goal in the back of my mind.

I've been thinking about playing some online poker to both improve my skill and build my BR some more. In total my poker BR is about 5700. I want to have 9k to comfortably play 1/3 NL live.

I've got some adjustments to make to improve my live game. There's a few technical things that I've been learning about--seat changing, buying the button, etc. But I must say the last time I went I found myself at this dream table. This guy across the table was loudly complaining about how tight I played. He said my chips were dusty because I hadn't played a hand in so long. He started calling my "dusty". But for the most part most of the players kept playing the wide, trash range that they normally played. I was playing I think a solid tight. And I'd raise to 20 or more pre and get called by trash despite this guy pointing out how tight I was playing. He and another player were trying to get back at me. It was pretty funny. The banter, emotional swings, joking, etc--it's what I love about live poker.

I drove out to Milwaukee Wednesday night and played 1/3 NL cash for 17 hours straight--830p to 130p Thursday. It was funish--an experience. And it helped me gain more experience at the live scene there. Lots of regs. Some reg Degen gamblers. Some retirees. Some seemingly solid players. The most solid players seem to be the ones who are just waiting to get in the 2/5 game or coming to play 1/3 after the 2/5 table busts.

I think I've said this somewhere in this thread or at least one of my threads, but it's been what I keep coming back to: I like that poker provides me with something to think about when I'm not playing poker. What I mean is that a lot happened at the table over those 17 hours and there are hands that I've been still processing. Sometimes I think I see things better a while after the hand has played.

I'm not entirely sure that I want to commit to a year or two of solid poker study and play. But I'm leaning toward that. It's fun playing it and fun studying it. This may sound weird, but I feel like it anchors my life. I have something to work on so that I don't get bored. It's like the dysfunction I grew up with and have been working on outgrowing--life's played out in a way that the path that I'm on has me working a job that I love and that pays well, but had I not had hippie parents that encouraged me to abuse substances as well as provide terrible life advice and an emotionally cold, loveless childhood I wouldn't be doing. I mean had I at least had one loving, parental caretaker I think I would have graduated from college and been on what I think could be called a more traditional path. But maybe I can enjoy how my life has turned out. And maybe I will become much better at poker. The only way to do that would be to put in the hours away from the table. Experience at the table is needed too, but it's the hours away that I need to put more effort toward to achieve. I need to set time goals for each week. So that is where I think I am going with this. And what I want to create is a poker game that wins at 2/5 NL. It'll take a lot of work and probably a couple of years. But when I spend my time on politics, dating sites, texting a girl too much, etc. I feel like I've wasted my time or at least wonder if that's the best I can do with my time. It's important to ask if poker is the best I can do with it too.

I do see the dark side of it as one of my favorite 2+2er has pointed out in his thread. The other night there was this reg Degen who was acting heartbroken, saying he was already 1100 down. He kept pulling out a hundred dollar bill and roughly spewing it in a few orbits. Man I felt for this guy. I felt for some other players too. I got probably the most friendly I've ever been playing poker. I think it probably affected my play a bit. Definitely talked way too much poker with a few of the regs I was getting chummy with. I think in regard to feeling bad about taking peoples' money--I think it's a matter of focusing on playing the game well. I want to be better at poker. I hate doing things half-ass. I used to play a lot of pick-up basketball around town. I'd almost always play like it was a game-seven play-off game. The few times I didn't play that way because the other players weren't playing hard I felt like I just wasted my time. Also, the degens are going to continue to go to the casino and lose money regardless of whether I play or not. I guess I could become sort of a missionary and go to casinos and try to drag degens to 12 step meetings. But that's not me. I'm ok with not being perfectly nice. I like to compete. That's me.

Some thoughts on my poker game:

1) Don't effing talk poker at the poker table. Just Tommy Angelo it and just silence when confronted with poker discussion. Talk about anything else you want tho. I actually think the poker table at 3am is a pretty awesome venue to talk about pretty much anything...other than poker. Just not poker. Silence or other talk instead.

2) I've been trying to get reads during heads-up hands by talking to my opponents. I don't think this helps. I think staying silent outwardly, but running through poker logic inwardly is the way to go.

3) I've been making calls in spots where I know I'm beat, but getting pretty good pot odds and not wanting to appear exploitable. I don't think I need to do this vs like 80% or more of the 1/3 population. When I know I'm beat I can fold even if the call is only 30 more and I'm getting 6:1.

4) I tried taking a ~10 min break every 1.5 hours during one of these 10 hour grinds. It felt so humane. So much better for my body and mind. I think my back needs it. I want my body to be healthy for decades. Ten min break every 1.5 hours is the way to go. Otherwise it feels like my body is devolving into a pile of mush and mentally I can feel more impatient and agitated. I take the break. I take the break. I take the break every 1.5 to feel more alive.

3924 2000

That's online BR and live BR respectively above.

I just dropped 5 BI's in one hour playing online. Dropping that much in such a short time used to be an issue for me. I love how it's not. I played at least C-game. Lost a 46:54; a 77:23; and a chopped a 91:9. Think I ran into tops of ranges in some other hands too.