Copied from a separate blog. I am a long-term recreational player and, in my quest to improve, have decided to review every live session of poker I play (generally one or two a week on the weekends)

My first post is very TL;DR and dumbed down a bit for a more general audience. I have no baller goals - I just want to improve and keep poker a profitable side endeavor!

First Poker Blog! Little Creek $330 (65 entrants)
January 01, 2018
For 2018 onward I have decided I am going to blog about every live poker session I play - both cash games and tournaments. I believe doing this will force myself to really review my own play and hold myself accountable.

A couple caveats for any readers - my primary motivation for this blog is self improvement. Poker contains its own language and I won't necessarily be catering every post for a general audience. However, I will happily answer any questions and engage in discussion. I normally play at least once every weekend, but I may also be leaving to Japan for several months soon, which means there will almost certainly be a large absence of postings.

A quick intro about me and poker:

During the summer following high school graduation, I recall watching a Travel Channel special about card counters (in Blackjack). The basic premise is that one can gain an advantage over the house by memorizing which cards are no longer in play and betting accordingly. When the remaining deck is rich in cards that equal ten (and aces), while also being *low* in low to middle cards (3,4,5,6), the odds actually shift in favor to the player. The 18-year-old version of me became instantly intrigued. The next day I went to Barnes and Noble and bought three books on card counting and spent a solid month of my summer practicing at home.

When I eventually built up a little cash and felt ready to take the plunge - I learned a few things pretty quickly. One - casino personnel are well aware of card counting and have plenty of countermeasures to combat them. In order to realize a meaningful edge, you have to be willing to bet very small when the odds are unfavorable, and comparably large when the odds *are* favorable. It is fairly obvious something my be going on when a quiet kid is betting $5 a hand, and suddenly busts out a $50 bet after intently studying each card that has been in play. (Only to go back to betting $5 a hand a few hands later.) Two - the edges to be had in card counting are small. Without getting too technical, this means that the variance can be wild. That is, in order to secure modest edges, you have to be willing to go through some pretty insane money swings when, despite playing perfectly, you still get crushed. (What a perfect segue into poker!)

Without getting too detailed, card counting didn't work out. I was woefully under "rolled" (not enough money) and I wasn't willing to do what it takes to camouflage my card-counting efforts. I soon left for college...

Fast forward to 2007. I was half way done with college and, channel-surfing, happened upon TV coverage of the World Poker Tour. I was again, intrigued. Cards and strategy? A potential way to make money without actually "working"? I followed suit the same way I did with Blackjack and immediately bought a few books - starting with the Harrington on Holdem series. After playing in a couple rinky dink local card-room tournaments with awful blind structures and getting lucky a few times - I was up a few hundred books within a month of playing. This was it. I loved poker. I was competing against other people and not the house, which made playing cards much more enjoyable.

Fast forward to the present. I have never stopped playing poker, but I have always kept a day job and never really considered playing professionally an option. I do have a couple friends/acquaintances who do and I give them props - it is certainly not an easy living. The ups and downs of the game, no matter how good you are, can be extreme. That is part of the appeal of poker to me, it is not only challenging from a strategy standpoint, but also as a test of your mental fortitude.

I have always kept records of my play, because I think it is the best way to keep yourself honest. From 2008 to 2010 while still in college I profited just over $7,000, mostly from playing a TON of smaller buy-in (<$60) local card room tournaments. I didn't play nearly as much in 2011-2015 while I was adjusting from college life into the real world. (This meant prioritizing paying off a new car and student loans with nearly all my earned income) The time I did play was heavily spent on limit hold em $4/8 - from which I profited less than $1,000. I still played the occasional tournament and profited a few thousand from those. Definitely a stale few years.

Since 2016, I have been playing most weekends in some fashion with emphasis on No-Limit Hold'em cash games and tournaments. I may branch out to other games in the future, but for now, No Limit just makes the most sense for me. Since then to the present I have profited $25,000, with $18,000 of that coming from 2017 alone, mostly because I ran really hot in a handful of tournaments, but also because I upped my cash game volume and ran decently.

Unfortunately, I never really hopped into the online realm until close to Black Friday (when legal online poker became banned in the USA). That definitely feels like a missed opportunity. Oh well.

Onto the poker!

I do not play at Little Creek often, but occasionally they hold some good-value tournaments and almost always have soft fields (weaker players present). This $330 buy in NYE tournament fit the bill. 20,000 starting stacks. 45 minute levels. 25/50 starting blinds that stair step. I was a little disappointed by the turn out as last year they had almost double the amount of entries. I believe they had some competing tournaments this time around. Only 7 spots were paid this go around.

I think I am going to structure these tournament blog posts in sections consisting of notable hands during rounds, separated by breaks, which typically occurs every few levels of play or so.

Levels 1 and 2 - wherein I do not scoop a single pot

Three times I was dealt AQ. The first two were offsuit and I opened 3x was 3-bet by an older gentlemen, whom I had no reason to believe was getting out of line. Each time he was kind enough to show me after I folded preflop - JJ and AK. AQo is not a hand I typically like to go to war with out of position when stacks are deep. It is simply too difficult to win a large pot without coolering someone in unlikely scenarios.

The third time I was dealt AQs I found one caller on the button. Flop J78hh. This is definitely NOT an auto continuation bet for me. I probably cbet less than the average player, as I believe many people have caught on to its regularity and tend to float fairly light. My image was somewhat meek at that point and I tend to save my cbet bluffs for times when I can pick up additional turn barrel equity. Check check. Turn 5s. Same deal - I could fire now, but am getting called by a ton of hands that will essentially force me to fire the river again not knowing where I stand. I check, he fires, as he should, and I get out of the way.

I 3x 99 and the same older play who has 3-bet me twice already, does it again. He picks up one cold caller behind in the blinds and this is an automatic call for me. I still don't think he's getting out of line, but my suspicions are up now. Unlike AQo, 99 is a great set mining hand when stacks are this deep against a likely strong range. Flop A83, we check to him and he fires 3/4ths pot. Fold...and I fold again. Perhaps weak to fold to a single bet, but again, being OoP I think it's okay to just move on. He kindly shows AK.

99 again a few hands later! I 3x (as I do in early stages of tournaments when stacks are deep) and pick up two callers in late position. Flop 8 K Q. I again opt not to cbet, one of my opponents bets and I'm gone. Feels weak, but it just doesn't feel like a good spot.

Nothing else notable happens and I manage to lose 1/5th of my stack without winning a single hand in 1.5 hours of play. I admittedly felt a little steamy, but it is a good reminder that the first few levels of a tournament are often inconsequential. They represent good opportunities to collect from opponents who punt their stacks, but it doesn't always work out. You can't win a tournament in the first few levels - but you can sure as hell lose one.

Stack 20,000 to 16,000. (106 big blinds)

Levels 3 and 4 - limping leaks, snapping off a bluff, and getting away with one!

Sometimes I catch myself making what I'd consider to be a leak with some regularity. A player will limp up front in early position and I'll look down at a marginally playable non-pair hand like J10o and limp from early or mid position myself as the second in. I like seeing flops as much as the next person when we are 100+ blinds deep, but I simply do not believe these are profitable spots. After a *few* limpers and in late position, I can justify it. I am basically hoping for a limp fest followed by a very favorable flop I can play out of position - and that's just not good poker.

This is exactly what I did, one person limped behind, followed by a smallish raise in late position. A few people called, pricing me in. I totally whiffed the flop and check folded. Meh. Nothing exciting and not very damaging to my stack - but still not a situation I should be finding myself in.

Another not-so-damaging but tricky spot - flopping a weak top pair in the big blind with multiple limpers. Three limps, small blind completes and I check 10-3o in the big blind. Flop 10 6 2 rainbow. The small blind leads what could easily be a vast array of hands, from bottom pair to middle set. His overall range does figure to be weak, so the question is - do I raise or call? Calling invites others in, while raising essentially turns my hand into a bluff as it becomes rather hard to get called by worse. I opt for a call to re-assess (which is my default line in spots like this) and both limpers call behind. Turn Q. The sb now checks, I follow suit and one of the overcallers now leads out 3/4ths pot. We all fold. These are annoying spots - but not necessarily ones we should be going to war over.

An early position player limps, followed by a 4x raise from middle position. I look down at 99 yet again and flat on the button. The big blind also comes along and the original limper folds. Jc3c6h flop. Check, original raiser cbets half pot and, unlike the other spots, this is a mandatory call. I am in position and our opponent can have plenty of worse hands on this board. The big blind comes along as well, unfortunately, and we see a 2s turn. Both players now check and this is where I think I make a mistake by checking behind. 99 is far from robust in this spot and there are a ton of river cards that will beat me, assuming I am ahead right now. We can safely fold to a raise knowing we are almost certainly beat with at most two outs. The river brings a 3h and now the small blind leads out for almost full pot. The original raiser folds quickly and now it's time to analyze. First - what is he repping? A slowplayed set seems unlikely given the flush draw on board. Would a naked jack really bet this much for value? What is he hoping to get called by with a hand as strong as AJ? The original raiser has more overpairs in his range, though, admittedly less so after he checks the turn. Which again begs the question - what is he betting for value that he thinks we will call? There are almost no two pair combinations in his range (J2? J6? 23?) I'm not buying it. Would a busted flush draw behave in this manner - you betcha. His line instills enough doubt in my head so I fling in a 5k chip. He tables AQcc - I'm good and drag my first sizable pot of the tournament.

Several hands later - three limpers enter the pot and I look down at 45dd in the big blind and check my option. Flop 6s7hQh giving me the bottom end of an open ender. I check to the initial limper, who leads out for half pot. It folds back to me and I have an easy call. The turn brings a Kh. Bad card? I don't think so! When playing draws I believe it is important to count bluffing cards as potential outs, given that you can reasonably represent them. Straight draws with a potential flush draw on the flop are great candidates, in my opinion - as I would play either draw the same way in many spots. The question is, now that I have decided to bluff - should I donk lead or check raise? Sophisticated players are more likely to view donk bets with suspicion and raise them regardless of holdings, putting us in a tough spot. I do not view my opponent as very sophisticated, and opt for the cheaper donk bluff and fire 2/3rds pot on the turn. He folds pretty quickly.

Stack 16,000 to 29,000 (48 big blinds)

Levels 5 and 6 - Don't semibluff into short stacks!

Overall a pretty boring couple of levels with few hands played. One hand of note was raising AcJs from middle position and getting three callers behind, including one player who had roughly 15 big blind to start the hand (the rest of us were over 50bbs effective). The flop came 10 6 4 two hearts and, with three opponents on a pretty unfavorable flop, no c-bet from me. It checks through and we see a Ks turn. In my mind this was a card I can reasonably represent and, given the shown weakness of my opponents along with the fact that I've picked up a gutshot, I fire out 1/3rd pot. The short stack behind me looks a little pained and pushes his stack into the middle. The rest fold and it's back to me. With about 25 big blinds in the pot and 9 big blinds for me to call, my pot odds are quite favorable. Certainly not the required 10.5-1 pot odds I'd need to justify calling for a gutshot - but if our opponent has a number of semi bluffs in his range my decision could be close. Having a close decision between calling and folding is very bad for us and very good for our opponents because we are apt to make mistakes. I land on the fold button.

Stack 29,000 to....29,000 (29 big blinds)

7 and 8 Levels - Too passive?

Again, nothing too notable. A couple spots where I arguably play a bit too conservative.

First up, a couple limps and I look down at AJo in the small blind. The average stack at this point is about 30 blinds and I'm generally not a fan of bloating the pot OoP without pretty strong hands. AJo is on the cusp, imo. Stacks are such that raising and getting in with one-pair type hands can be justifiable, but it is close. I limp along and the bb checks. Flop is AK4 rainbow, so basically Yahtzee unless someone has 44 or A4 exactly. I lead out and gain one caller on the button. turn is a 4, which is unfortunate as I am now chopping with any naked ace. Still, though, I find another small bet trying to get value from a king and my opponent calls. The turn is a 3 with no flush draws complete and I don't see myself getting a third street of value, so I check. Surprisingly, my opponent leads out for half pot, which I don't like as it is hard for him to have many bluffs here that follow a logical line. My read of this opponent is that he over values top pair type hands and could easily be betting a naked ace for value. I reluctantly call expecting to chop but instead, he insta mucks(!?). Not sure what to make of that one.

After having been quiet and card dead for quite some time, I finally find a decent spot to mix it up and little and raise 68ss from middle position. I find one caller in the big blind and we see a flop of 10 J 7 two clubs, giving me the dummy end of a gutshot. He checks and, again, perhaps too passive, but I check behind. This board connects with a lot of a typical calling range and, with a small amount of equity in my gutshot, I don't mind waiting for the turn to see what happens. The turn bring a 3h and my opponent checks again. As a default, it's generally a good idea to bet when an opponent shows *this* much weakness. This time however, I am wrong. I fire a half pot bet and get instantly check raised. Sigh. My first out-of-line hand goes into the muck.

A couple raise-and-take-it-down-preflop hands followed and nothing else notable.

Stack 29,000 to 40,000 (25 big blinds)

Levels 9 and 10 - TOO PASSIVE??

At this point in the tournament, the average stack was about 25 big blinds. There is a fine line in tournaments between preserving your stack and being willing to gamble when the situation calls for it. Sometimes, I feel "Phil Hellmuthian" in my gamble adversity with a decent stack. Factors in favor of gambling in close spots for your stack - when your stack is short, you're still far from the money (no ICM considerations) and you feel outclassed by your opponents. Factors against - you have a decently playable stack and feel you have a decent skill-edge over your opponents.

With about 30 blinds effective, an older lady I haven't seen get out of line raises 3x from under the gun. I look down at AKo directly behind her and....flat. This is an auto 3-bet for many players. I do think AK plays decently as a call in many spots - and I have to assume my opponent has a pretty tight opening range in this spot. Even so, I cannot deny that 3-betting preflop and being willing to call all in is *probably* the most +ev play in this spot. The flop comes 10 8 3 and she bets full pot. Yawn. Fold.

Another spot, same lady opens utg 3x and I look down at 99 (again). I am not deep enough to set mine, and 3-bet, getting it in seems pretty marginal as well. Does this make the hand a fold? Seems a little crazy, but is it? I call, as does one other player. Flop comes AJ2 and I fold to a cbet. What am I hoping for? Everyone else to fold and calling her down on favorable flops where I could easily be facing an overpair? For someone to squeeze behind so I can back shove get it in? The best possible scenario is for multiple players to call and I flop a set, seems pretty hopeful. Again, in order to set mine, you should generally have at LEAST 15x the initial raise, which I did not. Assigning her a range of 77+, A10s+ QJs+, which seems perfectly reasonable yields me 47.1% raw equity with 99. Everything taken together (my read on her as a tight player, 30 big blinds effective and still in early position 9-handed) lead me to believe this is far from a fist-pump call or get-it-in situation. Feel free to disagree.

It gets even more nitty. After blinding down to about 15 big blinds, another old lady (presumed tight) takes a seat at the table. She 5x's from under the gun and I look down at pocket 10s. How can I fold this? Well, I did - and it's probably bad in the long run. In my head I can assign her a range similar to the other lady (77+ A10s+ QJs+) Against this range I am a coinflip. It is entirely possible she folds some of her range if I go all in over the top, but given her pretty exorbitant sizing preflop, I feel as though my fold equity is greatly diminished. My only justification for this play is that I felt she was stereotypically overly tight and that players on my table (generally older and nitty) would fold FAR more often than they should to short-stack shoves.

Of course I get rewarded for my spectacular nittyness by picking up KK and shoving over the top of a middle position open, who calls with 77 - I hold.

Another play I have been experimenting with - limping the button with a decent hand when the blinds are about 20 big blinds effective. The 20 big blind stack is ideal for shoving over potential steal raises. It has become so common that even recreational players seem to be catching on in some regard. In one hand, I open limped A6o on the button when both blinds were in this "sweet spot" for shoving over the top of an open raise. The flop came 2 3 J and both blind check folded to my flop bet.
This play is highly exploitative, but I think it works well against the right players. It creates an awkward situation for them wherein if they raise, they are nearly committing their stack. If they both whiff the flop, they will likely avoid bluffing and I can take it down hassle free. Few people open limp the button, which can work in my favor as it can be seen as an obvious "trap." Again, an exploitative play and certainly not a default.

Stack 40,000 to 47,000. (15 big blinds)

Levels 11 and 12 - Short stacks = formulaic play

When everyone starts getting short stacked in tournaments, play becomes fairly unimaginative and straight forward. With 20 big blinds, I'm generally looking for spots to shove over what may be light open raises and open raise strong top-pair hands myself that I can commit to on the flop. This isn't to say stealing is out of my arsenal when short - but the spots have to be pretty damn favorable. It is pretty bad from a math standpoint to raise a 20 big blind stack and then fold to a shove.

I did experience a "first" in my tournament-poker hobby. I shoved over a raise with AKo and was snap called by....AKo. I scooped the pot on a runner-runner flush. That's what we call running good.

After that double up I found close to 0 spots to make anything happen and my stack went down accordingly, save for a couple raise-and-take-it spots with strong hands.

Stack 47,000 to 64,000 (10 big blinds)

Level 13 - The importance of paying attention

Below 15 big blinds I let a little poker app called "Snap Shove" do all the playing for me. The app tell you exactly what hands you should be pushing all in with depending on your position, how many big blinds you have left and how many players are at the table. It's very unexciting, but an optimal way to play when stacks get this short.

Having said that, there were two times I ignored what Snap Shove told me to do.

In one hand, I had 22 under-the-gun, which eeked by as a shove with 13 big blinds. At this point we were a couple spots off of bursting the money bubble, so there were some ICM considerations given there were a couple players shorter than me at the table. One such player, sitting directly to my left, had cut out raising chips before I acted. Now, this isn't to say his raising and calling-a-raise range are synonymous, but given he was in early position and his short stack, I had to give him credit for a real hand. I folded...and sure enough he raised half his stack. A player behind him went all in over the top and the original raiser called it off with AQ. The other player held KK and the board ran out clean for him (without a deuce!) This was obviously very lucky for me as I would have been out of the tournament had my opponent not acted prematurely. Always look to your left before acting - you can (and will) pick up on some stuff from time to time!

The second time I ignored Snap Shove was on the stone bubble. A player lost nearly all of his chips on the hand prior and I could feel there was a good chance he wanted to put the rest of his chips in regardless of his holding by the deflated look on his face. I folded a marginal push from middle position with J10 and sure enough, the player pushed all in and was eliminated when his Q10 couldn't beat the A2 of the big blind.

After that, one more short stack busted before I ultimately met my demise after pushing with A9s with 7 big blinds and losing a coinflip to pocket sixes.

A 6th place finish good for $1015. Not a terrible way to end 2017 poker-wise.

A far longer post than I had intended. Future posts will be much more to-the-point.

Pow Wow $500 main event
January 21, 2018

This one left a bad taste in my mouth.

A quick rant on structures:

I've become spoiled playing at Muckleshoot for most of my tournaments. They really do an excellent job catering their poker tournament structures to be player friendly. They now only deal 9-handed (as opposed to 10) and generally have very good structures as far as starting stacks and blind levels go, which means more time playing with deeper stacks. As stacks get shorter, play becomes much less creative and much more robotic. This is not to say there are not skill edges to be had playing with short stacks, but I think most poker players (amateurs included) would agree that playing deeper is preferable. Generally, the higher the buy in for a poker tournament, the "better" the structure becomes in terms of level length, starting stacks and blind levels.

While decent, the structures at Tulalip have not been impressive as a function of buy-in cost. By level 6, it seemed like the average stack had fallen to approximately 20-30 blinds. Not atrocious, but it definitely felt like it left something to be desired.

I digress.

Levels 1-3

Honestly nothing interesting to report here despite being the levels where stacks were deepest. I peacefully built my stack here and there by either raising and taking it down on the flop. Or by raising, hitting my hand, and getting one street of value followed by a fold.

One hand that had me scratching my head a little occurred during level two. Blinds 50/100, I raised to 300 from utg with AKo. Two callers and then the player on the button, who I had not seen play a single hand, min re-raised to 600. The big blind called cold and it's back to me. At this point, everyone is deep. AKo does not play particularly well multiway and I honestly have no read on the player who squeezed other than "tight." Folding seems very, very weak...and 3-betting? Well, it would certainly look strong to raise, 4-bet from utg. In hindsight, I do believe this to be the correct play. That is, 4-bet and fold to another raise (which essentially has to be KK+ based on my read). AKo simply does not play great as a call here. Small ball has it's merits - but it has to be applied judiciously. However, in the heat of battle I do simply flat and we are suddenly off to see a flop 5 ways, which I'm relieved comes 2 6 5. Check fold from me.

Stack: 15,000 to 19,000 (50bbs)

Levels 4-6

A lot of being card dead whittles my stack down a bit, then this hand happens. An early-position raiser makes it 1000 and gets one caller on the button. I look down at A8ss with about 18,000 total. This would be a snap fold from me had the button not called, and I do think it is still a fold, albeit a close one, in my spot. Suited aces do well against a raiser and callers when stacks are sufficiently deep enough and when in position. I'm certainly not in position this hand and having 18x the initial raise is very borderline in terms of implied odds. Ideally I'd have something like 25x+ his initial raise. I am getting a small discount on my call from the sb, however, and I simply cannot resist peeling to see a flop...which comes 10s9h2s. With the flopped nut-flush draw and a potential over, I'm not going anywhere. I want to chose a line that will maximize fold equity. Check raise seems good to me. I check, the original raiser bets 2500 as expected, the button folds and I make it 8k to go. My opponent looks pained, looks down at his stack and suddenly I realize that he started the hand with fewer chips than me. Implied odds don't work when the odds aren't there to begin with! My opponent apparently only started the hand with 11k, which makes calling preflop on my part a big mistake. And this hand illustrates why. After raising 1k and betting 2500 on the flop, my opponent only has 7.5k behind. He looks pained, but keeps looking at his stack like, "oh well!" and sticks it in. Q10hh. A questionable open on his part, but in his shoes, I am never folding after hitting top pair with that stack size, and neither did he. I brick my flush and ace draws and he doubles through me.

A silly mistake by me that costs me over half my stack. There simply cannot be room for errors like this while expecting to be a profitable poker player.

A lot of folding and waiting for good spots after this. I did manage to get a couple streets of value with JJ on a q-high board. But not much else to report on.

Stack: 19,000 to 9,100 (11bbs)

Levels 7-9

Now everyone is getting short, but me especially. All you can do in these spots is wait for good opportunities (not even necessarily good hands) to shove all in and cross your fingers.

Well, nothing of the sort happened for all of level 7. Suddenly it was level 8 and I had 5 big blinds, which is the absolute lowest you should ever let yourself get down to. At this point, you may as well just *pretend* to look at your cards and open shove all in at any given opportunity. Doing that with a shred of fold equity is *far* better than letting yourself get blinded down.

However, due to the lack of opportunities and sudden level change, I found myself two off the big blind with 5 big blinds facing an utg raise from one of the bigger stacks at the table. He had opened up a little bit recently, seemingly leveraging his big stack, and l look down at J10o. No fold equity of course, and I'm certainly not ahead, but given the enhanced potential odds of getting heads up against the raiser with dead blind money, I'm just getting it in here with a hand that should have decent equity against his range. This goes as planned and everyone else folds, I'm up against KQo - which is about the best I could hope for. Flop comes with a jack and I hold.

Many hands later after getting blinded back down to 8bbs, I look down at K9s from MP and ship it in. The big blind wakes up with AJdd and suddenly I'm facing elimination for the second time...

Board 9 10 Q 7....7. and I get lucky once more...

More folding. More everyone getting short. Yawn.

Stack: 9,100 to 16,000 (8bbs)

Levels 10-12

Ahhhh the joy of tournament poker. I'm already living on borrowed time and then I'm gifted with this gem.

Biggest stack (about 30bbs deep for what its worth...) min raises from ep and it folds around to the small blind, who calls. I look down at Q10o (still with only 8bbs) and I call. The odds are way too enticing here to fold. Raising with almost no fold equity with this hand seems bad. I am very short, however, so I plan on getting it in if I flop anything at all...

Flop 9 K J rainbow.

Wow. Check, check, original raiser cbets, fold, and I, of course, go all in. The original raiser tank calls with 98ss...bottom pair with a backdoor spade draw. Turn 10s giving me the lose/split sweat, but the river brick a 2 and suddenly I'm sitting on over 20 big blinds.

I manage to raise and take it down a couple times preflop and we get to level 12 - the last level of play before the day ends. Another table breaks and I get sat with a couple new players. No sooner than this happens and I look down at 99 from under the gun...

And this is where it all goes down hill.

I 2.5x it and it folds all the way to a new player directly on my right in the big blind. He calls.

Flop 7d5d3h. He checks, I bet 60% pot and he nonchalantly, and quickly calls. I have no read on the player other than first impressions and stereotypes. Asian, middle aged, care-free demeanor. Seems like he could be splashy.

Turn 10d. Now suddenly he leads for the same bet I made on the flop, that is to say...a small bet compared to the size of the pot now.

That woke my brain up. This bet makes no sense. It does if he has exactly a high flush and is making a strange, value/induce type bet. Fold? It crosses my mind for a couple seconds. After all, I could be drawing stone dead. I don't have a good read on the guy. Call? If I do that, I'll inevitably be faced with a very tough river decision. More than half the deck contains a card I'm not particularly happy to see. Raise? Bingo. As I tanked....and tanked...I was literally screaming "just do it" in my head. Equally screaming was the other half saying "if you're drawing dead this is going to look terrible." Why the weak bet? A smaller pair turning his hand into a bluff? A hand that was better than mine to begin with? Why no raise on the flop? Fishy fishy....

I tanked, for well over a minute. This is nothing for a lot of people, but very long for me. I generally hate it when people take a long time on decisions if I feel like there is little to no reason for it. It's obnoxious and bad for the game. I cannot even fathom those epic tanks that apparently happen in excess of 5 minutes+

Of course as I'm tanking I start thinking about how obvious it is that I don't have a strong hand and how that can affect the hand. Honestly - it doesn't matter. If he doesn't have the flush he's representing - my hand is almost certainly good. His bet is 3 big blinds, and I have 11 behind. It is true that my hand cannot really be called by worse hands, except for perhaps a smaller pair that picked up a flush draw on the turn. But given these stack sizes and how vulnerable my hand is to river cards - I believe a shove is the best play by quite a bit.

Reeling, and feeling self-imposed pressure from my own tanking. I....call. And I hated it the second I did it. Now I'm basically in a spot where I have to hang on tight except for the worst river cards, like another diamond.

River 4h.

So the final board is 7d5d3h...10d...4h. He now leads again for 3 big blind. Puke city. This would be an absolute ridiculous bluff, but the pot odds are way too enticing. I call, leaving myself with a barely playable stack and he shows me 62o for the rivered gutshot.

I had kind of resigned myself to losing against this river bet, so it honestly didn't upset me all that much. What did upset me is not going with my instincts and shoving the turn. There are times when yes, perhaps I am drawing dead and I look like a LAGtard. For as logical and analytical and math-based poker can be - there are times when you simply have to go with a read. I'll call this the "x" factor. As you gain more experience in poker, your instincts for situations naturally improve over time. I won't say they cannot be explained - because they certainly can. It is hard to do, however, because there are many subtle factors that go into having a read and having an instinctual feel for a situation. This was one of those spots - and there are few feelings worse than going against your gut and being punished as a result.

Left with just over 5 big blinds a couple hands later I ended up shoving K7 on the button and not getting lucky once more against the small blind's A10. C'est la vie.

That's a wrap for a while. Off to Japan on Monday and I should be back in time for peak poker-tournament season. That is, summers in Vegas. Going to try and keep the rust at bay by studying in Japan, despite not being able to play.