so basically during the wedding after about two days of not wearing my arm cast I experienced ridiculous levels of pain I hadn’t felt since basically week one of post surgery- right in the middle of the fkn reception being in the first row next to the groom’s grandmother / mother (was drunk didn’t exactly know plus she was 80+) who was standing up and I couldn’t keep it together so had to sit down. While on the surface this sounds silly it just made it tons worse especially bc I had such high hopes for getting on with the recovery.

That fkd my mood obviously and transitioned into me learning that a bad frame of mind leads to alcohol not exactly working properly upon intake. Basically this was my first time drinking since early may and like third time max getting drunk year to date and I def woulda failed all inhaler test if pulled over yet my feeling just remained sober and sad throughout the afternoon and then later all the way until 2am. This all got worsened by a convo I had with a chick who turned out to be a physio therapist who basically said my therapist at home was spewing nonsense and that my/our approach to the exercises I do was wrong and I m doing nowhere near enough and then (both she and I with rather high blood alcohol levels mind you) proceeded to pretty much rip my arm out trying to show what I should be doing instead. It was dreadful and depressing and fkn painful and obv didn’t help my already tilted self at not getting drunk enough to let loose. And then to make conversations even more annoying that chick proceeded to hit on me while my gf was next to me with me being a sad depressed fk lol. Me being my dumb self obv realizing way too late that she was doing so (I m not the most perceptive guy as weird as that sounds)

So ya great weekend in Poland that required about 6 hours travel each way. That went over a Sunday so I got back on Tuesday and missed a bunch of sessions, I think I played once and then the following Sunday, both times not exactly being able to get into it and being tired and preferring Pokémon go over poker most days - this has gotten worse over the last couple weeks.

And then this weekend I went to a friends bday party and actually managed to get drunk and did enjoy myself somewhat but woke up with the worst of hangovers and just basically decided I m gonna do nothing to improve that and be a bum on the couch.