I read this whole thread in shock and awe, and I have to say, this post really stood out to me. I'm not sure if I have laughed so hard. Halfway through point 1 where you had to quit your mission due to OP "crying for help in chat" my lungs were already hurting. This is the most absurd thread ever posted on 2p2. Your journalism is much appreciated.

Bluff catching with 5 high what a gangster.

[ ] 5 high
[x] playing the board

Definitely quitting and selling all books and poker related content. And car is something that I want to achieve some day.

gg Pasty.

I thought that too until I reread what he quoted

fml, fake news

Only 5 million bbs to go, no need to despair.

Winning poker players put in a lot of hands. The sky is the limit if one is commited to the grind. And then there is you. Do you think you can buy a car while playing such low volume like this month?

Would love to know lifetime losses at 2nl? 50k?

OP should be revered for single-handedly keeping the micros alive.

Buy a bike, deliver food and end poker. Imagine the BBs/100 won delivering food.
#GGEZ

lol, hes back.

Avarage pot 2,74 USD at 2nl

edit: achmed wins 80$ pot at 2nl lol. 3 way allin AA vs KK vs 79o. Obv paistings wins 6 $ on 568 flop.

The stacks tho

Holy ****ing ****

888Poker, Hold'em No Limit - $0.01/$0.02 - 6 players
Replay this hand on Upswing Poker

valbzbebeto (UTG): $24.04 (1202 bb)
SraMusical (MP): $24.40 (1220 bb)
MedArmy (CO): $2.23 (112 bb)
achmedpower (BU): $94.87 (4744 bb)
Paisting (SB): $2.00 (100 bb)
Dilettantt (BB): $21.47 (1074 bb)

Pre-Flop: ($0.03)
2 players fold, MedArmy (CO) raises to $2.23 (all-in), 1 fold, Paisting (SB) calls $1.99 (all-in), 1 fold

Flop: ($4.02) A♠ 9♣ 6♠ (2 players, 2 all-in)

Turn: ($4.02) 4♣ (2 players, 2 all-in)

River: ($4.02) 6♥ (2 players, 2 all-in)

Total pot: $4.02 (Rake: $0.25)

Showdown:
MedArmy (CO) shows J♠ K♠ (a pair of Sixes - higher kicker)
(Equity - Pre-Flop: 68%, Flop: 86%, Turn: 84%, River: 100%)

Paisting (SB) shows 7♣ 3♥ (a pair of Sixes)
(Equity - Pre-Flop: 32%, Flop: 14%, Turn: 16%, River: 0%)

MedArmy (CO) wins $3.77

888Poker, Hold'em No Limit - $0.01/$0.02 - 6 players
Replay this hand on Upswing Poker

Dilettantt (UTG): $15.58 (779 bb)
valbzbebeto (MP): $28.61 (1431 bb)
SraMusical (CO): $26.69 (1335 bb)
MedArmy (BU): $6.41 (321 bb)
achmedpower (SB): $91.34 (4567 bb)
Paisting (BB): $3.76 (188 bb)

Pre-Flop: ($0.03)
1 fold, valbzbebeto (MP) raises to $0.04, 3 players fold, Paisting (BB) 3-bets to $3.76 (all-in), valbzbebeto (MP) calls $3.72

Flop: ($7.53) 9♣ K♦ 8♦ (2 players, 1 all-in)

Turn: ($7.53) J♦ (2 players, 1 all-in)

River: ($7.53) 2♦ (2 players, 1 all-in)

Total pot: $7.53 (Rake: $0.47)

Showdown:
Paisting (BB) shows 4♥ T♠ (high card, King)
(Equity - Pre-Flop: 31%, Flop: 13%, Turn: 0%, River: 0%)

valbzbebeto (MP) shows A♦ Q♦ (a flush, Ace high)
(Equity - Pre-Flop: 69%, Flop: 87%, Turn: 100%, River: 100%)

valbzbebeto (MP) wins $7.06

888Poker, Hold'em No Limit - $0.01/$0.02 - 6 players
Replay this hand on Upswing Poker

valbzbebeto (UTG): $31.91 (1596 bb)
SraMusical (MP): $26.69 (1335 bb)
MedArmy (CO): $6.41 (321 bb)
achmedpower (BU): $91.33 (4567 bb)
Paisting (SB): $2.00 (100 bb)
Dilettantt (BB): $15.58 (779 bb)

Pre-Flop: ($0.03)
valbzbebeto (UTG) raises to $0.04, 3 players fold, Paisting (SB) 3-bets to $2 (all-in), 1 fold, valbzbebeto (UTG) calls $1.96

Flop: ($4.02) T♠ 8♣ A♠ (2 players, 1 all-in)

Turn: ($4.02) 6♣ (2 players, 1 all-in)

River: ($4.02) 5♥ (2 players, 1 all-in)

Total pot: $4.02 (Rake: $0.25)

Showdown:
Paisting (SB) shows J♠ Q♣ (high card, Ace)
(Equity - Pre-Flop: 27%, Flop: 30%, Turn: 18%, River: 0%)

valbzbebeto (UTG) shows Q♠ A♥ (a pair of Aces)
(Equity - Pre-Flop: 73%, Flop: 70%, Turn: 82%, River: 100%)

valbzbebeto (UTG) wins $3.77

888Poker, Hold'em No Limit - $0.01/$0.02 - 6 players
Replay this hand on Upswing Poker

achmedpower (UTG): $91.33 (4567 bb)
Paisting (MP): $3.84 (192 bb)
Dilettantt (CO): $15.55 (778 bb)
valbzbebeto (BU): $33.65 (1683 bb)
SraMusical (SB): $26.67 (1334 bb)
MedArmy (BB): $4.38 (219 bb)

Pre-Flop: ($0.03)
1 fold, Paisting (MP) raises to $3.84 (all-in), 2 players fold, SraMusical (SB) calls $3.83, 1 fold

Flop: ($7.70) Q♠ 6♦ 8♠ (2 players, 1 all-in)

Turn: ($7.70) 3♣ (2 players, 1 all-in)

River: ($7.70) 3♦ (2 players, 1 all-in)

Total pot: $7.70 (Rake: $0.48)

Showdown:
Paisting (MP) shows J♠ 7♠ (a pair of Threes)
(Equity - Pre-Flop: 42%, Flop: 54%, Turn: 34%, River: 0%)

SraMusical (SB) shows 5♦ A♦ (a pair of Threes - higher kicker)
(Equity - Pre-Flop: 58%, Flop: 46%, Turn: 66%, River: 100%)

SraMusical (SB) wins $7.22

[x] Whale punished

888Poker, Hold'em No Limit - $0.01/$0.02 - 6 players
Replay this hand on Upswing Poker

SraMusical (UTG): $30.08 (1504 bb)
MedArmy (MP): $5.34 (267 bb)
achmedpower (CO): $80.03 (4002 bb)
Paisting (BU): $10.63 (532 bb)
Dilettantt (SB): $15.37 (769 bb)
valbzbebeto (BB): $33.26 (1663 bb)

Pre-Flop: ($0.03)
2 players fold, achmedpower (CO) raises to $0.04, Paisting (BU) 3-bets to $10.63 (all-in), 2 players fold, achmedpower (CO) calls $10.59

Flop: ($21.29) 4♥ K♠ 9♣ (2 players, 1 all-in)

Turn: ($21.29) 3♥ (2 players, 1 all-in)

River: ($21.29) Q♥ (2 players, 1 all-in)

Total pot: $21.29 (Rake: $1.33)

Showdown:
Paisting (BU) shows Q♦ T♣ (a pair of Queens)
(Equity - Pre-Flop: 33%, Flop: 18%, Turn: 7%, River: 0%)

achmedpower (CO) shows K♥ A♥ (a flush, Ace high)
(Equity - Pre-Flop: 67%, Flop: 82%, Turn: 93%, River: 100%)

achmedpower (CO) wins $19.96


888Poker, Hold'em No Limit - $0.01/$0.02 - 6 players
Replay this hand on Upswing Poker

achmedpower (UTG): $91.14 (4557 bb)
Paisting (MP): $2.00 (100 bb)
Dilettantt (CO): $15.36 (768 bb)
valbzbebeto (BU): $33.23 (1662 bb)
SraMusical (SB): $30.06 (1503 bb)
MedArmy (BB): $5.34 (267 bb)

Pre-Flop: ($0.03)
1 fold, Paisting (MP) raises to $2 (all-in), Dilettantt (CO) calls $2, 3 players fold

Flop: ($4.03) 6♦ 2♦ J♦ (2 players, 1 all-in)

Turn: ($4.03) 6♠ (2 players, 1 all-in)

River: ($4.03) 7♠ (2 players, 1 all-in)

Total pot: $4.03 (Rake: $0.25)

Showdown:
Paisting (MP) shows 4♦ 2♠ (two pair, Sixes and Twos)
(Equity - Pre-Flop: 33%, Flop: 3%, Turn: 9%, River: 0%)

Dilettantt (CO) shows Q♦ K♦ (a flush, King high)
(Equity - Pre-Flop: 67%, Flop: 97%, Turn: 91%, River: 100%)

Dilettantt (CO) wins $3.78


888Poker, Hold'em No Limit - $0.01/$0.02 - 6 players
Replay this hand on Upswing Poker

Dilettantt (UTG): $17.06 (853 bb)
valbzbebeto (MP): $33.27 (1664 bb)
SraMusical (CO): $30.02 (1501 bb)
MedArmy (BU): $3.71 (186 bb)
achmedpower (SB): $91.05 (4553 bb)
Paisting (BB): $3.47 (174 bb)

Pre-Flop: ($0.03)
Dilettantt (UTG) raises to $0.05, 1 fold, SraMusical (CO) calls $0.05, 2 players fold, Paisting (BB) 3-bets to $3.47 (all-in), 1 fold, SraMusical (CO) calls $3.42

Flop: ($7) Q♥ T♦ 3♠ (2 players, 1 all-in)

Turn: ($7) 9♥ (2 players, 1 all-in)

River: ($7) A♣ (2 players, 1 all-in)

Total pot: $7 (Rake: $0.43)

Showdown:
Paisting (BB) shows 7♠ 8♠ (high card, Ace)
(Equity - Pre-Flop: 40%, Flop: 7%, Turn: 9%, River: 0%)

SraMusical (CO) shows Q♣ K♥ (a pair of Queens)
(Equity - Pre-Flop: 60%, Flop: 93%, Turn: 91%, River: 100%)

SraMusical (CO) wins $6.57

888Poker, Hold'em No Limit - $0.01/$0.02 - 6 players
Replay this hand on Upswing Poker

valbzbebeto (UTG): $33.27 (1664 bb)
SraMusical (MP): $33.12 (1656 bb)
MedArmy (CO): $3.71 (186 bb)
achmedpower (BU): $91.04 (4552 bb)
Paisting (SB): $2.00 (100 bb)
Dilettantt (BB): $17.01 (851 bb)

Pre-Flop: ($0.03)
3 players fold, achmedpower (BU) raises to $0.04, Paisting (SB) 3-bets to $2 (all-in), 1 fold, achmedpower (BU) calls $1.96

Flop: ($4.02) 6♥ 5♥ Q♣ (2 players, 1 all-in)

Turn: ($4.02) 2♥ (2 players, 1 all-in)

River: ($4.02) K♦ (2 players, 1 all-in)

Total pot: $4.02 (Rake: $0.25)

Showdown:
Paisting (SB) shows 8♠ 4♦ (high card, King)
(Equity - Pre-Flop: 26%, Flop: 27%, Turn: 15%, River: 0%)

achmedpower (BU) shows A♠ 4♥ (high card, Ace)
(Equity - Pre-Flop: 74%, Flop: 73%, Turn: 85%, River: 100%)

achmedpower (BU) wins $3.77


POST FLOP MASTERY

888Poker, Hold'em No Limit - $0.01/$0.02 - 6 players
Replay this hand on Upswing Poker

Paisting (UTG): $3.91 (196 bb)
Dilettantt (MP): $17.01 (851 bb)
valbzbebeto (CO): $33.18 (1659 bb)
SraMusical (BU): $33.06 (1653 bb)
MedArmy (SB): $3.80 (190 bb)
achmedpower (BB): $90.54 (4527 bb)

Pre-Flop: ($0.03)
Paisting (UTG) raises to $0.08, 1 fold, valbzbebeto (CO) calls $0.08, 2 players fold, achmedpower (BB) calls $0.06

Flop: ($0.25) J♣ 3♠ 6♦ (3 players)
achmedpower (BB) checks, Paisting (UTG) bets $0.18, valbzbebeto (CO) folds, achmedpower (BB) raises to $0.48, Paisting (UTG) raises to $3.83 (all-in), achmedpower (BB) calls $3.35

Turn: ($7.91) A♣ (2 players, 1 all-in)

River: ($7.91) 4♥ (2 players, 1 all-in)

Total pot: $7.91 (Rake: $0.49)

Showdown:
Paisting (UTG) shows 5♣ 3♣ (a pair of Threes)
(Equity - Pre-Flop: 37%, Flop: 26%, Turn: 32%, River: 0%)

achmedpower (BB) shows 9♥ J♥ (a pair of Jacks)
(Equity - Pre-Flop: 63%, Flop: 74%, Turn: 68%, River: 100%)

achmedpower (BB) wins $7.42

Paisting: JUST UNBELIEVABLE

I feel bad for you. Please get some much needed help.

Honestly I think that after 10years doing this(from what I've noticed from other threads) I can say it is here that we draw the line from what is acceptable, even in an online poker forum.

This thread should be closed, stop promoting this.

Next step would be to notice all major poker rooms, even mental institutes from Finland. This is a human being that is slowly languishing, that needs someone to talk to and some guidance to make his existence on this world at least tolerable.

Guys, it's not funny. It's been 10years.

The idea of people constantly bumhunting OP makes me sick. It's not like your average Friday night chinese whale or whatever.
This is, from what it seems, a 10year period doing this. It's like a football player always accepting the bet from some mentally ill crippled guy challenging everyone in the neighbourhood for his pension's $$.

If this is a troll, well you got me. If it's not then it's up to you where you draw the line.

To OP: Man, you have million activities that I'm sure you would enjoy doing, even if you're not good at it, maybe you could also get along and even make friends that also suck at those activities but at least you would have fun with it.
I wont even suggest getting a job atm, everything that involves money would not be the best move now.
I believe you'd be better simply looking out what's going on out there. I think buying a bike with your next paycheck and do some trails or simply ride around places near you would do wonders for you.

I wish you all the best

LOL, lets call coca cola too because of all the diabetes caused in the world.

I dont have much more to say here Tjobim. It's been 10years throwing coins into the abyss. If you want to promote it, like I said, it's up to you.

Have a good night

unbelievable - paisting. Punish the whhales!

Paisting why do you think you'll ever win the money back if the site is rigged against you?

He's doing the lord's work, leave the man alone.