Two Plus Two Publishing LLC
Two Plus Two Publishing LLC
 

Go Back   Two Plus Two Poker Forums > >

Notices

Poker Goals & Challenges Post your threads logging your travels up the poker ladder as you achieve your poker goals and dreams. "Challenges" does NOT mean prop bets, wagers, etc.

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 08-07-2016, 08:18 AM   #151
BigAisaOK
old hand
 
Join Date: Jul 2008
Posts: 1,462
Re: BigAisnotOK

Not Much of a Work Week

I think I played either twice or three times last week. In what is something genuinely remarkable I can't remember if it was 2 or 3 times, worrying. I scored a win playing some 1/2 game for 600 or so and then I tanked 1.4k in a soul destroying 2/5 on Friday night whilst nursing the mother of all hangovers.

I had one 'spot' during the night where I'm not even sure anymore if I think the play is ok or not. It's like limp UTG from this old guy who never ever really limp shoves. Some dude pops it up to like 25, few calls including me on btn with 8655ccdd. Folds back to UTG limper and the git does pot to 200 or whatever. Folds back to me and I'm gonna fold but then I notice the SB, some old geezer, has cut out his calling chips already the spanner. me and the old geezer are closer to 200bb effective. UTG has AA for sure I'm thinking and the old geezer, well he's gonna have a good hand to be peeling off the 40beebs pre, prolly either a big run down, or a AKK, or Abigpair connected, so these two geezers are probably sharing a few outs. I peel (could be a mistake but brain has given up now on whether this is pushing an edge or not). Old geezer sticks in his pre cut 200 in and we see a nice little J54r, with two backdoors. I'm already counting my winning when old geezer in SB checks, UTG piles his remaining 150 and I jam. Old geezer is already trying to bumble his stack into the middle before my chips have even crossed the line. Now I'm thinking 'uh oh, this actually is probably JJ or heart attack'. Not wanting to see old man die of heart attack I come to find peace that old geezer has AQJJ. LOL live poker. Still 25%+, but no love. K2 run out.

After that I should have quit the game tbh. I had no motivation to grind and was stuck in a game that was a limp fest. I played kinda ****ty for another hour or two, dribbled off an additional 100bb or so and fired towards the exit, happy to return to the comfort and seclusion of my pit in South London.

Positive stuff as always BigA.

Outside of poker we have a bit of a lads night out on Thursday. One that rendered me in excessive pain all of Friday and yesterday. Our group consists of a fair few northern lads, including myself, so we went off to Brick Lane to have a curry. I was there with my friend Matt (Perrins) who some 2p2'ers might know for his love of the nightlife and he decided everyone should eat ludicrously hot curries. So I ordered a Vindaloo, about 4 beers deep early on it actually wasn't so bad and I finished it with ease. Matt had ordered 'off menu' as he didn't deem a Vindaloo hot enough. They brought this fiery inferno thing. We all had a bit, it was hot as balls but to give Matt his due he finished it off after a shaky start of sweating, hiccuping and maybe some mild tears. In true northern fashion and a few beers more deep we asked them to bring one hotter out than the one Matt had just finished. The waiter, smiling away thinking 'these complete morons' returned with essentially this bowl of chicken covered in just smashed up chilli paste. I had a big forkfull and was immediately gg. Snap had to order a milk. Was literally obscenely hot. Matt and another friend of ours started banging back fork fulls of it and asked if the bloke could bring anything hotter, the guy politely informed us that was the hottest curry they could serve with health and safety regulation.

Bit tl;dr but felt it was a funny little story.

Plans for the weekend; dodge suicide

I guess maybe I'll go in and play some poker tonight, unsure yet. Didn't move much yesterday so unless I go for a run or something today first I might not. I played a little plo50 zoom the other day. I had been reading Urubu's challenge thread. Now I'm sure that Urubu plays low stakes online a lot better than me but I have to say, judging solely on the zoom pool I think it'll be a tough ask. I'll be rooting for him though of course like every 2p2'er should be...vammmooosss.

Aight that'll do for now, happy grinding y'all.
BigAisaOK is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-12-2016, 05:12 PM   #152
BigAisaOK
old hand
 
Join Date: Jul 2008
Posts: 1,462
Re: BigAisnotOK

GALFOND PODCAST ON MONDAY. FEELS LIKE BEN86 POD WILL HIT THE NUMBER 2 SPOT.

....I'M EXCITED
BigAisaOK is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-15-2016, 01:52 PM   #153
BigAisaOK
old hand
 
Join Date: Jul 2008
Posts: 1,462
Re: BigAisnotOK

So I think I've stopped calling myself a professional poker player. My volume has been laughable lately. I think I've played less than 50 hours live this month. I played a little online over the weekend, primarily just dicking about though, in between doing other activies.

Well what have you been up to then?

I've been mainly just reading and stuff. I think that reading is the greatest tool we have to expand our minds. Whether it's fiction or non fiction, I find that post reading I feel very relaxed but also very in tune with ideas and what I want to set about that day. I think having listened to some of the best guests on Joey's podcast one of the factors you notice amongst all the smartest ones are that they read a lot. Constantly taking in information is one of the greatest tools of our minds in my opinion.

In a very rare grind last week I brought my book into the Vic with me. It was quite funny, a ton of people came up to enquire about what I was reading etc. I wasn't aware I was amongst so many avid readers in the London poker community. I think at some point I might try and put together a poker player book group, where we can share book rec's etc. I've also messaged Joey and asked him if he could put a collection of the books mentioned on his pod's into a list on his new website.

What else you bum

Outside of reading I've been hitting some cardio pretty hard lately. I think one of the crippling things with how helpless and weak it makes you feel if you're not constantly on top of it. With that in mind and not wanting to feel afraid everyday (at 29) I have been trying to tackle procrastination quite hard and trying to either be exercising or outside in the park/sun as much as possible.

Other than that I had a pretty torrid start to my fantasy EPL season, I think i'm bottom of all the leagues I'm in #Winning. I was a bit annoyed because if I'd gone off my own intuition and stat work I would have put in an OK scoring week. However, I listened to more of the so called fantasy geniuses of the London poker scene and made changes they recommended and we got boned! Ah well.

Bore us with more real life stuff

It was my girlfriends birthday on Sunday. All in all we had a pretty nice little day, good weather, chilled in this cool lavender garden at a park near where we live etc. In the evening we were discussing the future etc. She knows that in relation to poker I've been having a super hard time and essentially been failing a ton. She's actually only ever really seen that in the year we've dated because that's really how it's been. I have to try and assure her that I was once a winning player, who had success and good life quality on the back of poker. That said the cracks are forming, my gf is American and most likely will move back there in a year or two. Living in Philadelphia isn't something I'm particularly keen on doing. If I quit poker I tell her that my possibilities of getting a good job are close to 0%. I guess we could gg it but with no poker and no gf my life would be looking kinda empty.

Ok that was all a little deep

Yeah it was. I can't complain too much, life is still reasonable. I don't think I'll be grinding any cash poker this week. I really feel that session to session my mindset is in the pits right now. Live cash is a brutal enough grind as it is and doing it with a bad mindset is a recipe for disaster. As I grinded lower than usually for a good chunk of the summer I actually qualified for one of London's softest tournaments, the vic loyalty freeroll. I'll play that and hopefully can a piece of the pie, the 20k up top wouldn't go amiss.

The blog, does is classically die again?

I will probably still keep contributing to the blog if I have anything on my mind that I think is worth while putting out there. My recent little hiatus away from playing the game all the time, each and every day has taught me that poker can really close off someone's mind. The world is much bigger and brighter than just inside the poker bubble. This isn't to discredit poker though, fwiw, I still think being a poker pro is awesome but it's easy to lose sight of everything on the outside when in pure poker mode.

Albeit I go out of my way to eventually listen to nearly all of the ChicagoJoey podcasts it's rare that i'll go out of my way to listen to one live. I will be changing that tonight with my poker hero, and the poker hero of many I would imagine, Phil Galfond being on Joe's pod. That should be awesome and I can't wait to hear what he has to say.

So that's all for now, my grinding has been replaced with cooking and reading so the poker content might be a little low for a while. That said, the next session is always just around the corner. Happy grinding y'all and run good.
BigAisaOK is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-21-2016, 01:48 PM   #154
BigAisaOK
old hand
 
Join Date: Jul 2008
Posts: 1,462
Re: BigAisnotOK

Thread Update:

Had panic attack.

Walked home, felt better.

Feel like i've been going to have a stroke for 3 days.

Wanted better $2100 starting table:

WizoWizo
Kjunia
Mexican222
Pmahoney
yurasov1990

4/10.
BigAisaOK is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-21-2016, 08:38 PM   #155
BigAisaOK
old hand
 
Join Date: Jul 2008
Posts: 1,462
Re: BigAisnotOK

Hiiiiii Everybody

So it's been a while since I properly updated the blog, I've been playing a lot of poker lately so now seems as good a time as ever.

I had some downtime in the summer, I had been playing a little lower after a bad run and really wasn't enjoying poker. I had no interest in grinding low live and didn't back myself to put in any online grind. I took a few weeks off doing some funky stuff.

First and foremost I got into a few other gambling ventures. I was at a casino playing baccarat in Leicester square. A friend of mine and me split action on a promotion there where you were allowed to bet up to 500 a hand on banker commission free for certain hours a day throughout August. You could also multitable it up to 3 tables increasing the hands per hour and edge. Pretty sweet promotion! We started off hot and we were like _25k min month. The variance train caught up a little however and we started losing a little back. Going into the last session of the month we were up roughly 20k and we ended up losing 17k on the last session to end up close to even. Pretty annoying. Other friends of ours doing it (pro gamblers) ran worse than us strangely enough, not quite sure how, or at least by so much and they ended up losing between 15-25k, so I guess we got off light.

Taking that time off reinvigorated me a bit. I fired back into playing poker at proper stakes and now have made about 50k this month in the live games. I think I've done a pretty reasonable job of playing my A game at all times this month. I've played solid and above the rim and have been rewarded with some run good, hoping it continues.

I'm about 0/10 now on WCOOPs, that sucks. I've played most of the 4card stuff. Tonight really sucked because I finished 55th in the 320 omania high roller with 53 paid and then finished 95thish in the $2.1k 6max plo with 65 paid. As usually I walked away absolutely hating tournaments.

I've balanced by tournament losses by winning a little online cash during the month.

http://imgur.com/a/DXQIw

I think I'll take a little break after this tilting night of tournament poker. I felt a little frustrated and deflated going semi deep to bust both before the money and have played a ton lately so i'm a little burnt out.

My health hasn't really been great. At least my mental health. I'm still alive and kicking so my physical health is probably alright. I keep fixating on weird physical symptoms and convincing myself I'm about to suffer a stroke or heart attack etc. Feeling random numbness and stuff, very annoying. Still constantly dizzy and still lacking energy. Consensus still seems to be in the anxiety disorder court but it's frustrating that the improvement is minimal to non existent despite whole scale lifestyle changes. It's not easy feeling like crap and trying to maintain a life as a high stakes poker player.

Aight, be good. Au revoir (I also spent August learning French - Duolingo, it rocks!)

Last edited by BigAisaOK; 09-21-2016 at 08:40 PM. Reason: too retarded to post graph
BigAisaOK is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-22-2016, 04:28 AM   #156
partywme
adept
 
Join Date: May 2012
Location: UK
Posts: 956
Re: BigAisnotOK

Re; your health, it does sound a lot like anxiety you're suffering with. I would go and visit a doctor and see if they can prescribe anything (they will if they feel you're not managing day to day life) might also be worth trying some yoga as I've been told it's really good for problems such as anxiety. During these "panic attacks" do you feel like you start to breathe fast? That would explain the tingling your feeling. You should start to lose sensation (similar to pins and needles) in your fingers and toes which will gradually work its way into the arms and legs (dependant on how long the attack/hyperventilating lasts)

What I would say is try to coach yourself into changing your breathing pattern when you feel like you are having an 'attack' (deep slower breaths inhale hold for 2-3 seconds an then exhale) I think this is where yoga would be good for you.
partywme is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-22-2016, 05:13 AM   #157
RaydeN08
centurion
 
Join Date: Feb 2009
Posts: 123
Re: BigAisnotOK

Heya,

I don't know you, but I have been following the thread. You seem like a cool dude, so here is my advice: quit poker.

Anxiety, stress, and most of your problems are probably increased by the effect poker got in your health. Come on, you can't be playing live poker, online or whatever, with the swings and all the stuff and having panic attacks, wtf.

I dont think that stress, anxiety and all of those disorders are something that has no treatment, but the treatment is you. I mean, if your mind is weak as ****, obviously you wont overcome it. If you are like this being in your mid 20s, imagine when you are 4x.

And most important stuff, your girlfriend will eventually dump you because you are ev- for her.

So, get your **** together.

Take care and keep posting, best of lucks.
RaydeN08 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-22-2016, 06:13 AM   #158
LeProtagonist
adept
 
LeProtagonist's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2011
Posts: 1,052
Re: BigAisnotOK

RaydeN08 your heart is in the right place, and I somewhat agree with the comments about playing poker, but it seems you have no experience with mental health problems so don't realise how ignorant your comments are.

Quote:
I mean, if your mind is weak as ****, obviously you wont overcome it.
To some extent this is true, in that you need to be determined to fix it. However anxiety disorders aren't caused by being weak minded, they are caused by your mind not developing the correct coping mechanisms to deal with stress. Further to this, overcoming panic attacks isn't about being strong minded, it is about recognising how you are feeling, identifying things in your life that cause you stress and really considering why they are stressful. The way you think about situations is key.

Quote:
And most important stuff, your girlfriend will eventually dump you because you are ev- for her.
To say that someone with mental health problems is -ev to their girlfriend, solely for their condition is such a narrow and poorly considered thought process, that I strongly encourage you to take a moment to reflect. Fortunately the world is full of people who value relationships in more subtle and intangible ways than an ev calculation. Many people at the top of their profession struggle with mental health and for you to try to place such low value on a person struggling shows how little you know.



Quote:
Consensus still seems to be in the anxiety disorder court but it's frustrating that the improvement is minimal to non existent despite whole scale lifestyle changes

I completely agree with one point RaydeN08 made, the treatment is you. These lifestyle changes are only going to make a difference if you are consciously doing it. For example, if you have poor sleeping routines then you are more likely to struggle to deal with your anxiety, because we are naturally more sensitive to our emotions and less capable at coping with them when tired. Anxiety isn't someone that you catch, it is entirely in your head and overcoming it is a slow process of self reflection and recognising stressors and injection logic into situations.
LeProtagonist is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-22-2016, 07:12 AM   #159
BenaBadBeat
5 or a 9... 5 or a 9...
 
BenaBadBeat's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: 50 shades of grey
Posts: 4,602
Re: BigAisnotOK

Absolute on point post protagonist. Couldn't agree more
BenaBadBeat is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-22-2016, 06:30 PM   #160
BigAisaOK
old hand
 
Join Date: Jul 2008
Posts: 1,462
Re: BigAisnotOK

Quote:
Originally Posted by LeProtagonist View Post
RaydeN08 your heart is in the right place, and I somewhat agree with the comments about playing poker, but it seems you have no experience with mental health problems so don't realise how ignorant your comments are.



To some extent this is true, in that you need to be determined to fix it. However anxiety disorders aren't caused by being weak minded, they are caused by your mind not developing the correct coping mechanisms to deal with stress. Further to this, overcoming panic attacks isn't about being strong minded, it is about recognising how you are feeling, identifying things in your life that cause you stress and really considering why they are stressful. The way you think about situations is key.



To say that someone with mental health problems is -ev to their girlfriend, solely for their condition is such a narrow and poorly considered thought process, that I strongly encourage you to take a moment to reflect. Fortunately the world is full of people who value relationships in more subtle and intangible ways than an ev calculation. Many people at the top of their profession struggle with mental health and for you to try to place such low value on a person struggling shows how little you know.






I completely agree with one point RaydeN08 made, the treatment is you. These lifestyle changes are only going to make a difference if you are consciously doing it. For example, if you have poor sleeping routines then you are more likely to struggle to deal with your anxiety, because we are naturally more sensitive to our emotions and less capable at coping with them when tired. Anxiety isn't someone that you catch, it is entirely in your head and overcoming it is a slow process of self reflection and recognising stressors and injection logic into situations.
Hey bro, echoing by 2p2 hero Ben, I thought this was a lovely and well thought out post. Agree with all of it.

As for Rayden's post, I wasn't offended, albeit it was a little brash. I think there could be a correlation between poker and my mental health issues. However, you have to understand and appreciate my position. I'm playing daily in games where I can win 50k+ in months, also in a situation where the eco system seems strong and games don't seem to be slowing down. It's much easier said than done to walk away from such an opportunity. On top of that I think with my struggles I was able to use my time wisely to elevate my game to a level where I'd consider myself one of the strongest in my current games, it's hard to walk away from that potential and seeing what that could go on to be.

It's tough re: the health issues. I think actually that i'll be going for a brain scan soon. I think whilst many might consider this a little 'crazy' or see it as the anxiety acting up or being out of control I think it'll be a good and beneficial decision in the long run. It's also worth noting that I have continued to have physical symptoms all year that could be linked to a range of illnesses. It's probably better to rule everything out that I can along the way.

I have changed my lifestyle a lot due to the issues with my health this year. I used to be a heavy drinker etc, now I drink perhaps 3 times a month and often to extreme moderation. I've probably done recreational drugs twice this year. I meditate daily, I monitor what I eat, how much water I drink etc. So I feel i'm giving it a fair shot to be operating optimally and I think this has shown in an improvement in my mental and meta game/soft skills.
BigAisaOK is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-22-2016, 08:07 PM   #161
XFlopRRiver
grinder
 
Join Date: Dec 2015
Location: Long term everyone's drawing dead.
Posts: 440
Re: BigAisnotOK

I'm rly happy for you for your recent success.
XFlopRRiver is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-22-2016, 08:51 PM   #162
busticator
grinder
 
busticator's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: Vegas
Posts: 681
Re: BigAisnotOK

In
busticator is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-25-2016, 08:33 PM   #163
BigAisaOK
old hand
 
Join Date: Jul 2008
Posts: 1,462
Re: BigAisnotOK

END OF WCOOPS

So, as of now, 01:15am UK time, having just busted the warm up for a cool $624, I can reflect on a WCOOPs that I think inevitably was a little disappointing but taught me a little about myself.

How I did and what I learnt

So I spent roughly $5k on buy ins. Played the $700 Sunday as my biggest NLH and played most of the PLO's, including the $2.1k 6max where I played my most disciplined poker of my life...at least potentially. I cashed for $2.1k overall for a close to $3k loss on the series in tournaments.

I haven't played any cash really after posting the graph the other day where I ended up roughly $7.7k. So overall I made close to $5k during the Coop's with cash and tourney's combined. I think I'm reasonably happy with this.

Was pretty disciplined in general, played one short 10/20 zoom session when the pool was good and played a few k hands of 2/5zoom. Most of the time however I just stuck to grinding 1/2zoom where I believe my edge is big and tried to grind out profit to put towards tourney buy in's. This worked quite successfully.

I didn't play a huge amount, however I played about 8 events I think, which is fine and good enough considering I've played 140 hours of live poker this month also.

I was happiest with my performance in the 2.1k plo 6max and the 700 hu plo. I didn't cash in the 2.1k, fell short by about 30 ppl or so but I never really had chips in it and managed my stack really well. I ended up losing a 55/45 for chips that would have most likely have been a cashing stack. In the 700 HU plo I felt like my edge on the field was big. Way more pigeons than I expected and a noticeable absence of some of the big boys. I won 3 matches and cashed for $1.4k. In my bust out match I felt like I was decently better than my opponent, had him on the ropes early but lost a cooler to even up stacks and then lost a 60/40 for all the money. Walked away from that disappointed as I think it was clearly by best chance to go on and win a WCOOP but was really happy with my performance throughout that tourney.

Life After WCOOPs

I look forward to having a nice break from tournaments now. Like I say I've been grinding live cash reasonably hard this month as well as dabbling in these WCOOPs so I'll just be back to the grind starting tomorrow. Last week I had a pretty swingy week live, losing 10k Monday, winning 14k Tuesday and then losing 10k Friday (can anyone guess my stop loss haha) to book a small loss on the week. The action has been pretty frequent lately and seems the games are playing pretty big so hopefully that continues. London has a pretty vibrant PLO economy and it seems to be where a lot of the action and money in navigating so should make some ok longevity.

Lifestyle and Health

I think maybe all the online to go alongside playing live has been a little detrimental on my health this month. I haven't exercised anywhere near as much as I did during the summer and I've been feeling kinda unwell. It culminated with me seeing my GP on Friday and he put me on a pill called Sertraline (or something like that). Wants me to try it for a few weeks and we'll see how we go. Hopefully it'll be ok and i'll start feeling better. Outside of the medication I'll be aiming to just work out a little harder and be a bit more chill in my downtime. No online poker for a week will be a start, I just want better balance.

Alright, gl to my mates still in the Main, hope one of them ships it and gl to whoever reads this .
BigAisaOK is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-30-2016, 07:26 AM   #164
BigAisaOK
old hand
 
Join Date: Jul 2008
Posts: 1,462
Re: BigAisnotOK

Losing my Groove

I was pretty happy with WCOOPS ending, my edge online is much smaller than live or probably none existent if I don't game select, so it was nice to have the temptation end and I felt happy I could get back to focusing on what I do best, crush live poker.

I started the week really well, played super solid monday and tuesday, ran really good tuesday having big hands at the right time and I was +15k heading into Wednesday.

However, Wednesday was probably the worst I've played for a long while, probably a month. I don't think I played Z game but probably only scraped around C game at best. Felt I ended up taking way too many marginal decisions in the end and variance went against me in some of the bigger pots. I got really tangled up in a spot vs a fish where I ended up getting chunks in on turn with 30% on a semi bluff, probably not that wise and certainly not that ideal.

All in all I walked away -10k on Wednesday, a little disheartened, I expect better of myself than to be putting in C Grade performances nowadays.

I took thursday off, caught up on a few things, booked some stuff I'd been putting off for a while, did a little online retail therapy. Feeling fresher today so will likely go in, health permitting. Friday's always a decent game in general so can hopefully put up a nice result.

A change of approach

So in my last update I was saying I hadn't been feeling great lately. I went from dinner earlier in the week and stuff and he was saying that sportsmen like Ronnie O Sullivan had had bad anxiety and overcome it sticking to a regimented fitness regime. Therefore I forced myself into the gym tuesday and bashed out 4km, aiming for 5km, on the treadmill. I felt happy to have just got in there so wasn't overly annoyed to come up 1km short. Weds I did 5km, I was ecstatic but then in my warm down I basically almost collapsed and felt really bad. My friend had also suggested I go see a private GP, pay some s and get a full MOT for the human body.

So after that episode post run I fired into the beany Private GP in Victoria and saw this bloke for a while. Discussed the year, discussed the way I felt everyday, about how everyday was a battle, never feeling healthy at best and feeling like death at worst. He looked me over and decided he wanted to refer me to a neurologist. So next wednesday I'll be seeing a neurologist and we'll take it from there.

I've also been given this drug called Sertraline however, because if it isn't anything physical and if it is only mental illness then I need to start taking something to get me back on the straight and narrow, with the consensus i've gone past the point of no return with natural remedies. I read up on this drug though and it seems pretty hardcore, with some fairly rough side effects for the first few weeks at least.

If I do start taking the drug and the side effects are bad then you sharks will have the pleasure of having old Infestus in the zoom pools for a few weeks, as I imagine live poker will be off the table
BigAisaOK is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-30-2016, 09:13 PM   #165
HMJ
grinder
 
HMJ's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2014
Posts: 483
Re: BigAisnotOK

just caught up with your thread

i check twitter for the vic action and always see 5-10 plo running, i would assume you're a huge favourite in almost any lineup

hourly wise, the fact that it's not taxed means that if you're doing OK in poker, comparatively to even the highest end finance jobs, poker comes out way on top

just gotta deal with that variance ;D
HMJ is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-30-2016, 11:27 PM   #166
BigAisaOK
old hand
 
Join Date: Jul 2008
Posts: 1,462
Re: BigAisnotOK

Quote:
Originally Posted by HMJ View Post
just caught up with your thread

i check twitter for the vic action and always see 5-10 plo running, i would assume you're a huge favourite in almost any lineup

hourly wise, the fact that it's not taxed means that if you're doing OK in poker, comparatively to even the highest end finance jobs, poker comes out way on top

just gotta deal with that variance ;D
Yo, hey HMJ. Long time, hope you're well brother.

Yeah 5/10/25 runs pretty seamlessly Monday to Friday in London. Seems to be feeder games everyday also, just a mini boom of PLO punters and action in London. It's pretty delightful.

Mini Updatee

All in all I felt better today so I fired in early, eager to get into the action. It was another bad night though sadly. -10k again. I wasn't particularly displeased this time though as I played pretty damn well tonight and just lost a bunch of huge pre confrontations vs both regs and fish.

Funny little story actually. So this hand goes down tonight. Ep 90, call, I flat CO with AAxx96ss with some squeeze happy guys in the SB, BB and straddle. SB doesn't disappoint and pots to near 500, original raiser flats and first caller does and I pot to roughly 2500. SB goes all in for a little more like 2.8k and EP calls, other caller folds and I call.

Flop comes KT7sss. I'm loving it. I only have like 1.3k back. Now this EP player, who is a regular fun player but who thinks he's a genius kinda often bets 400...I literally was so steamed. I mean there is 9k in there or something [pdwklwamc;lksa;'xsl. I actually almost wanted to make the sickest explo fold ever tbh, I don't tho and go all in for the small amount more and he kinda sighs it off (he sighhhhs it off). The mofo has KQhhJ2ss and we're basically dead, such is a life but what a super tilting thing to do to go ahead and bet the flop for 400 hahaha.

Anyway, game was so fiery that I really didn't wanna stick to my stop loss but decided to be disciplined. Good games basically run everyday in there so whatever. Headed home early but with my gf going off for early sleeps I ended up playing some 5card on Stars and won 20 buy ins! What a luckbox indeed.
BigAisaOK is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-01-2016, 01:03 PM   #167
Sol Reader
The Situation
 
Sol Reader's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: See PG&C Thread. @IsoAcq
Posts: 9,380
Re: BigAisnotOK

Just got caught up.

Curry story is funny. Galfond is the hero of all time!

Hope you've been feeling better lately.

As the master of long distance relationships, and dating people who don't know much about poker lifestyle and stuff, I can agree that it could be tough. Hope you figure something out.

Do you play any HU PLO btw? Played a little bit of round of each and it's so fun. God I've missed playing HU online, too bad it's dead.

Speaking of anxiety, I have wanted SO long to start meditating. Even downloaded headspace from a year ago but haven't tried it once. Procrastination is real.

Quote:
RaydeN08 your heart is in the right place, and I somewhat agree with the comments about playing poker, but it seems you have no experience with mental health problems so don't realise how ignorant your comments are.

Quote:
Quote:
I mean, if your mind is weak as ****, obviously you wont overcome it.
To some extent this is true, in that you need to be determined to fix it. However anxiety disorders aren't caused by being weak minded, they are caused by your mind not developing the correct coping mechanisms to deal with stress. Further to this, overcoming panic attacks isn't about being strong minded, it is about recognising how you are feeling, identifying things in your life that cause you stress and really considering why they are stressful. The way you think about situations is key.
Yeah man that's completely out of line. I know you mean well, but meaning well doesn't mean jack if you say things like that.

The entire means by which we value and quantify "strength" and "weakness" is biased to preexisting temperament.

What exactly does saying "that is weak" help achieve? You genuinely think saying things like that will make someone buck up and just improve? are you kidding me, have you read this entire thread and decided "wow OP clearly doesn't realise he has a problem that he should try deal with let me tell him!"???

Quote:
And most important stuff, your girlfriend will eventually dump you because you are ev- for her.
****, are you for real. You decided of all things this is the most reasonable to tell someone who is clearly engaging with their mental health and anxieties over it? Telling someone he's ****ed, and his life is going to implode, yeah that's nice.

For what it's worth, as OP knows, I have, and many of my close friends, have dealt with mental health issues our entire lives (me most prominently last decade or so), and while it's basically inescapable that we have moments of lows, life is not about being perfect all the time, and overall we're able to lead happy lives. Our low points don't define us, it is just one fragment of our existence.

It's not up to rando online people who know nothing about the situation to decide if someone who has mental health issues is +EV or -EV to be dating. To suggest that people who are neurodivergent or mentally ill or have problems of any sort are intrinsically "worth less" at least in the dating aspect, that they are unloveable or less loveable, or second pickings... wow are you serious? You don't realise this is basically hate speech?

Of COURSE these issues can make a person less compatible dating-wise. So can anything, so can being a successful lawyer, doctor, or any profession. It's about compatibility, and I can tell you there are plenty of people who understand or relate more to people with mental health issues than those who do not.

You might think this is no big deal, but **** like this being said to OP and people all over dealing with anxiety is what makes it hard for many people to face these issues head on and not be ashamed or embarrassed about it. It's okay to have what most consider "flaws" as long as you work with them or around them to have a happy life style.

**** like this is what causes people do do stuff like suppress issues, or not take medication, etc, because they think it's "weak" to be "one of those people" who are mentally ill or need drugs. You might think I'm overreacting, but sentiments like that literally gets people killed.


Anyway back on track, won't be at the Vic for a week or two since my partner is visiting, take all the money while you have the chance to not get cold jammed on
Sol Reader is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-01-2016, 01:35 PM   #168
RaydeN08
centurion
 
Join Date: Feb 2009
Posts: 123
Re: BigAisnotOK

My main language is not english and Im too lazy to give deep rational thoughts written, it takes too much time and is not worth the effort, but I wanted to be as clear as possible:

The solution is not about eating half a dozen of pills a week -at least-. Diazepam, alprazolam and all the benzodiazepines are drugs, and they are not the solution to any anxiety or stress problems. Just find the problem, talk with yourself, and solve it.

Believe me, long term those "medicines" will be worse than better for you.

And about the girlfriend part, well, I dont know if we -all- live in the same world, but come on, love is about being happy, enjoying, going out, getting drunk together, sharing experiencies, travelling, meeting new people, knowing new people, and enjoying your live with the other man/woman as much as possible. You can call me a bad guy, but I would never date a woman that is just taking more benzodiazepines than me beers, because long term it will make her miserable, and me as well.

I could reword it in non aggressive ways, but come on, get your **** together. You write like a smart and a good guy, thats why I wish you best. Im out of the thread, but I will keep reading. Good luck!
RaydeN08 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-02-2016, 06:55 AM   #169
bumpnrun
veteran
 
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: lol imo
Posts: 2,838
Re: BigAisnotOK

I think you were more or less spot on Rayde, especially with the overall message. OP .....u need to quit poker. It's obvious your mental n psychical issues and lifestyle are linked

This thread is interesting in a train wreck kind of way. Sad idiots big upping you when it's clear your life is pretty pathetic. Sooner or later your girl will get sick of dealing with it. I Feel like your a good guy deep down who's got a lot of offer, but you're trapped as a gambling degenerate.

Wake up. There's more to life then poker. Much more. You want to spend the rest of your life inside casinos pondering equity and variance of a -****ing card game? What a waste. Quit poker and investigate your options before it's too late
Gl


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
bumpnrun is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-02-2016, 08:12 AM   #170
thegreatone87
journeyman
 
Join Date: Dec 2008
Posts: 246
Re: BigAisnotOK

One of the mindsets that a lot of poker players have is to always look at $ ev -that should only be one of a number of considerations when choosing what to do. First and foremost you should enjoy it as that is where you will be spending most of your time. Another point to consider is that the longer you put off entering the real world the harder it will be and the less likely you will be successful. I'd take a step back and think about what you want to be doing 5 or ten years down the line especially if you want to have a family.
thegreatone87 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-02-2016, 09:43 AM   #171
_jimbo_
old hand
 
Join Date: Apr 2011
Posts: 1,361
Re: BigAisnotOK

Best of luck OP. I would advise getting a mod to ban those two clowns from posting in your thread in the future. They're not trying to help at all, just looking for attention.
_jimbo_ is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-02-2016, 09:59 AM   #172
Fayth
veteran
 
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: Quebec
Posts: 3,134
Re: BigAisnotOK

yeah I think you're wrong about the dating part rayden, most likely right about meds... sometimes you try a lot of stuff and nothing works and you feel desperate so you turn to meds, It's not going to cure him but it may ease the pain temporarily so he see things more clearly and figure out how to proceed with his overall health
Fayth is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-02-2016, 11:19 AM   #173
BigAisaOK
old hand
 
Join Date: Jul 2008
Posts: 1,462
Re: BigAisnotOK

Quote:
Originally Posted by bumpnrun View Post
I think you were more or less spot on Rayde, especially with the overall message. OP .....u need to quit poker. It's obvious your mental n psychical issues and lifestyle are linked

This thread is interesting in a train wreck kind of way. Sad idiots big upping you when it's clear your life is pretty pathetic. Sooner or later your girl will get sick of dealing with it. I Feel like your a good guy deep down who's got a lot of offer, but you're trapped as a gambling degenerate.

Wake up. There's more to life then poker. Much more. You want to spend the rest of your life inside casinos pondering equity and variance of a -****ing card game? What a waste. Quit poker and investigate your options before it's too late
Gl


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
Ouch

You do understand this is a poker forum though right? We all love pondering the equity and variance of a card

Otherwise we'd be in an office pushing paper.
BigAisaOK is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-02-2016, 02:51 PM   #174
HMJ
grinder
 
HMJ's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2014
Posts: 483
Re: BigAisnotOK

yeah pretty sure i'd rather have a bit of a ***** and moan about losing 10k in a day than slave away for somebody else and earn 10k in 4 months (if lucky)

mental illness affects more than just poker players, if anything being a poker pro makes you mentally stronger to deal with all the other **** life throws

pretty sure the other posters must be trolls, only reasonable explanation in my eyes
HMJ is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-02-2016, 11:07 PM   #175
p2 dog, p2
Carpal \'Tunnel
 
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 7,537
Re: BigAisnotOK

Quote:
Originally Posted by bumpnrun View Post
I think you were more or less spot on Rayde, especially with the overall message. OP .....u need to quit poker. It's obvious your mental n psychical issues and lifestyle are linked

This thread is interesting in a train wreck kind of way. Sad idiots big upping you when it's clear your life is pretty pathetic. Sooner or later your girl will get sick of dealing with it. I Feel like your a good guy deep down who's got a lot of offer, but you're trapped as a gambling degenerate.

Wake up. There's more to life then poker. Much more. You want to spend the rest of your life inside casinos pondering equity and variance of a -****ing card game? What a waste. Quit poker and investigate your options before it's too late
Gl


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
why do you read this forum(insert "does not compute" jpeg here)?
Quote:
Originally Posted by BigAisaOK View Post
Ouch

You do understand this is a poker forum though right? We all love pondering the equity and variance of a card

Otherwise we'd be in an office pushing paper.


but ya, maybe cut back on the pills.
p2 dog, p2 is offline   Reply With Quote

Reply
      

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off


Forum Jump


All times are GMT -4. The time now is 06:51 AM.


Powered by vBulletin®
Copyright ©2000 - 2021, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Copyright 2008-2020, Two Plus Two Interactive