The Wheels Have Come Off

Well a day earlier I’d proclaimed that it was likely the worst day of poker I’d played for a very long time, well yesterday was probably as bad and that’s worrying. My confidence is shot at the moment, a break could probably be in order, albeit I’ve just come off a break too. Perhaps I’m just awful.

2/5zoom is usually a bread and butter stake for me but lately I’ve just been spewing stacks for fun. Let’s see what I can dig out of the database for morale…

The Winners

PokerStars - $5 PL Hi FAST (6 max) - Omaha Hi - 6 players
Hand converted by PokerTracker 4

Hero (BTN): $1,085.44
SB: $515.62 (VPIP: 20.43, PFR: 15.01, 3Bet Preflop: 4.85, Hands: 570)
BB: $533.88 (VPIP: 32.04, PFR: 19.48, 3Bet Preflop: 9.40, Hands: 742)
UTG: $1,893.73 (VPIP: 24.46, PFR: 13.73, 3Bet Preflop: 6.80, Hands: 843)
MP: $599.00 (VPIP: 22.84, PFR: 13.39, 3Bet Preflop: 7.18, Hands: 477)
CO: $852.94 (VPIP: 25.49, PFR: 7.84, 3Bet Preflop: 0.00, Hands: 51)

SB posts SB $2.50, BB posts BB $5.00

Pre Flop: (pot: $7.50) Hero has 8 8 4 4

UTG raises to $17.50, fold, fold, Hero calls $17.50, fold, BB calls $12.50

Flop: ($55.00, 3 players) 5 4 9
BB checks, UTG bets $34.49, Hero raises to $120.98, fold, UTG calls $86.49

Turn: ($296.96, 2 players) J
UTG checks, Hero bets $293.96, UTG calls $293.96

River: ($884.88, 2 players) 2
UTG checks, Hero bets $653.00 and is all-in, UTG calls $653.00

Hero shows 8 8 4 4 (Three of a Kind, Fours)
(Pre 37%, Flop 57%, Turn 65%)
UTG shows K 2 3 K (One Pair, Kings)
(Pre 63%, Flop 43%, Turn 35%)
Hero wins $2,187.88


This one felt pure vs my old buddy Isildroon. I don’t mind Leo, he’s an alright bloke of not a little weird. He stepped over the line with me last year when he kept laughing after every pot I lost in some session I was down £20k, obviously a dick move but he was drunk at the time, nowadays though that means we have to chat sh** to each other every time we play a bit pot, here he announced ‘you’re too loose so I gotta make a light call’ before calling it off…

PokerStars - $5 PL Hi FAST (6 max) - Omaha Hi - 6 players
Hand converted by PokerTracker 4

Hero (BTN): $1,040.36
SB: $535.87 (VPIP: 25.00, PFR: 14.47, 3Bet Preflop: 6.90, Hands: 79)
BB: $250.00 (VPIP: 35.34, PFR: 20.05, 3Bet Preflop: 6.43, Hands: 408)
UTG: $596.41 (VPIP: 27.02, PFR: 15.89, 3Bet Preflop: 5.89, Hands: 1,204)
MP: $2,026.52 (VPIP: 24.31, PFR: 13.74, 3Bet Preflop: 6.34, Hands: 769)
CO: $667.24 (VPIP: 23.21, PFR: 17.19, 3Bet Preflop: 7.46, Hands: 354)

SB posts SB $2.50, BB posts BB $5.00

Pre Flop: (pot: $7.50) Hero has J 9 T 7

fold, MP raises to $17.50, fold, Hero raises to $60.00, fold, BB calls $55.00, MP calls $42.50

Flop: ($182.50, 3 players) 2 8 Q
BB checks, MP bets $118.47, Hero calls $118.47, fold

Turn: ($419.44, 2 players) 5
MP checks, Hero bets $416.44, MP calls $416.44

River: ($1,252.32, 2 players) 6
MP bets $1,049.43, Hero calls $445.45 and is all-in

MP shows K A 3 4 (Straight, Six High)
(Pre 54%, Flop 66%, Turn 68%)
Hero shows J 9 T 7 (Straight, Nine High)
(Pre 46%, Flop 34%, Turn 33%)
Hero wins $2,140.22


Also vs Droon again, and probably one of my better played hands of the day albeit not a solver/Nandez approved 3bet.

PokerStars - $5 PL Hi FAST (6 max) - Omaha Hi - 6 players
Hand converted by PokerTracker 4

BTN: $772.65 (VPIP: 26.84, PFR: 15.34, 3Bet Preflop: 9.17, Hands: 320)
SB: $723.51 (VPIP: 24.40, PFR: 15.36, 3Bet Preflop: 5.17, Hands: 681)
Hero (BB): $1,417.74
UTG: $515.88 (VPIP: 31.65, PFR: 19.15, 3Bet Preflop: 9.25, Hands: 770)
MP: $1,777.04 (VPIP: 23.31, PFR: 17.95, 3Bet Preflop: 10.63, Hands: 1,311)
CO: $937.91 (VPIP: 27.08, PFR: 16.13, 3Bet Preflop: 6.17, Hands: 1,281)

SB posts SB $2.50, Hero posts BB $5.00

Pre Flop: (pot: $7.50) Hero has Q Q 7 9

fold, fold, fold, BTN raises to $17.50, fold, Hero raises to $55.00, BTN calls $37.50

Flop: ($112.50, 2 players) 7 7 8
Hero checks, BTN bets $60.23, Hero calls $60.23

Turn: ($232.96, 2 players) Q
Hero checks, BTN bets $162.50, Hero calls $162.50

River: ($557.96, 2 players) A
Hero bets $554.96, BTN calls $494.92 and is all-in

Hero shows Q Q 7 9 (Full House, Queens full of Sevens)
(Pre 53%, Flop 96%, Turn 100%)
BTN shows K A 4 J (Two Pair, Aces and Sevens)
(Pre 47%, Flop 4%, Turn 0%)
Hero wins $1,544.80


Vs all time legend and all time great guy Ce$arSpa. Cesar is one of the nicest guys I’ve played with poker and one of the true boss men, rough spot for him on the river vs my image, not sure what I’d do, probably find a call also.

PokerStars - $5 PL Hi FAST (6 max) - Omaha Hi - 6 players
Hand converted by PokerTracker 4

Hero (BTN): $528.42
SB: $940.72 (VPIP: 50.00, PFR: 25.00, 3Bet Preflop: 0.00, Hands: 13)
BB: $500.00 (VPIP: 25.71, PFR: 15.34, 3Bet Preflop: 3.95, Hands: 1,941)
UTG: $246.00 (VPIP: 21.54, PFR: 15.38, 3Bet Preflop: 4.00, Hands: 70)
MP: $548.80 (VPIP: 39.80, PFR: 21.77, 3Bet Preflop: 1.64, Hands: 304)
CO: $1,014.50 (VPIP: 30.11, PFR: 18.75, 3Bet Preflop: 6.05, Hands: 535)

SB posts SB $2.50, BB posts BB $5.00

Pre Flop: (pot: $7.50) Hero has A 4 A 8

fold, fold, fold, Hero raises to $17.50, SB calls $15.00, BB calls $12.50

Flop: ($52.50, 3 players) 8 T A
SB checks, BB checks, Hero bets $24.94, SB calls $24.94, BB calls $24.94

Turn: ($127.32, 3 players) 2
SB checks, BB checks, Hero bets $124.32, SB calls $124.32, fold

River: ($375.96, 2 players) J
SB bets $372.96, Hero calls $361.66 and is all-in

SB shows 7 Q 6 7 (One Pair, Sevens)
(Pre 33%, Flop 17%, Turn 10%)
Hero shows A 4 A 8 (Three of a Kind, Aces)
(Pre 67%, Flop 83%, Turn 90%)
Hero wins $1,096.28

Some creative floating from villain here, gotta admire the heart

PokerStars - $5 PL Hi FAST (6 max) - Omaha Hi - 6 players
Hand converted by PokerTracker 4

Hero (BTN): $474.67
SB: $639.00 (VPIP: 27.97, PFR: 19.48, 3Bet Preflop: 8.18, Hands: 814)
BB: $500.00 (VPIP: 31.92, PFR: 23.01, 3Bet Preflop: 5.72, Hands: 2,568)
UTG: $525.00 (VPIP: 24.02, PFR: 15.35, 3Bet Preflop: 4.08, Hands: 259)
MP: $70.06 (VPIP: 21.24, PFR: 13.61, 3Bet Preflop: 6.38, Hands: 500)
CO: $1,571.12 (VPIP: 24.44, PFR: 13.86, 3Bet Preflop: 6.32, Hands: 777)

SB posts SB $2.50, BB posts BB $5.00

Pre Flop: (pot: $7.50) Hero has Q 9 J T

fold, fold, fold, Hero raises to $17.50, fold, BB raises to $55.00, Hero calls $37.50

Flop: ($112.50, 2 players) Q A 6
BB bets $65.00, Hero calls $65.00

Turn: ($242.50, 2 players) T
BB bets $165.00, Hero calls $165.00

River: ($572.50, 2 players) 7
BB checks, Hero bets $189.67 and is all-in, fold

Hero wins $569.50

Never will a worse played hand happen in the zoom pool

The Losers

I mean there were so many that could have been picked out here in another car crash of a session

PokerStars - $5 PL Hi FAST (6 max) - Omaha Hi - 6 players
Hand converted by PokerTracker 4

Hero (BTN): $1,000.37
SB: $1,342.03 (VPIP: 29.61, PFR: 17.81, 3Bet Preflop: 7.59, Hands: 966)
BB: $427.50 (VPIP: 50.00, PFR: 35.71, 3Bet Preflop: 18.75, Hands: 30)
UTG: $882.91 (VPIP: 20.66, PFR: 13.15, 3Bet Preflop: 6.71, Hands: 440)
MP: $828.49 (VPIP: 17.70, PFR: 11.80, 3Bet Preflop: 1.92, Hands: 319)
CO: $737.66 (VPIP: 39.93, PFR: 21.12, 3Bet Preflop: 1.56, Hands: 313)

SB posts SB $2.50, BB posts BB $5.00

Pre Flop: (pot: $7.50) Hero has Q 5 A 7

fold, MP raises to $17.50, CO calls $17.50, Hero raises to $77.50, fold, fold, MP calls $60.00, CO calls $60.00

Flop: ($240.00, 3 players) 2 K 8
MP checks, CO checks, Hero bets $70.00, MP calls $70.00, fold

Turn: ($380.00, 2 players) 7
MP checks, Hero checks

River: ($380.00, 2 players) J
MP bets $251.33, Hero raises to $852.87 and is all-in, MP calls $429.66 and is all-in

Hero shows Q 5 A 7 (One Pair, Sevens)
(Pre 44%, Flop 15%, Turn 33%)
MP shows 3 3 Q Q (Flush, King High)
(Pre 57%, Flop 85%, Turn 68%)
MP wins $1,738.98

I mean I literally don’t know what I’m doing here lol…

PokerStars - $5 PL Hi FAST (6 max) - Omaha Hi - 6 players
Hand converted by PokerTracker 4

Hero (BTN): $2,140.22
SB: $235.00 (VPIP: 27.01, PFR: 15.92, 3Bet Preflop: 5.88, Hands: 1,208)
BB: $494.05 (VPIP: 21.11, PFR: 13.52, 3Bet Preflop: 6.38, Hands: 503)
UTG: $481.12 (VPIP: 34.78, PFR: 19.57, 3Bet Preflop: 2.44, Hands: 93)
MP: $824.13 (VPIP: 24.34, PFR: 15.52, 3Bet Preflop: 5.37, Hands: 1,435)
CO: $803.64 (VPIP: 23.66, PFR: 17.18, 3Bet Preflop: 7.97, Hands: 360)

SB posts SB $2.50, BB posts BB $5.00

Pre Flop: (pot: $7.50) Hero has 8 9 Q J

fold, fold, CO raises to $17.50, Hero calls $17.50, fold, BB calls $12.50

Flop: ($55.00, 3 players) Q 8 7
BB checks, CO bets $37.62, Hero calls $37.62, fold

Turn: ($130.24, 2 players) 6
CO bets $97.50, Hero calls $97.50

River: ($325.24, 2 players) J
CO bets $322.24, Hero raises to $1,288.96, CO calls $328.78 and is all-in

Hero shows 8 9 Q J (Two Pair, Queens and Jacks)
(Pre 39%, Flop 47%, Turn 10%)
CO shows A A 9 5 (Flush, Ace High)
(Pre 61%, Flop 53%, Turn 90%)
CO wins $1,624.28

At this point you just have to get the straight jacket and section yourself..

PokerStars - $5 PL Hi FAST (6 max) - Omaha Hi - 6 players
Hand converted by PokerTracker 4

BTN: $508.50 (VPIP: 24.26, PFR: 15.38, 3Bet Preflop: 5.11, Hands: 693)
SB: $2,878.05 (VPIP: 31.71, PFR: 19.31, 3Bet Preflop: 9.20, Hands: 802)
BB: $993.05 (VPIP: 26.85, PFR: 14.83, 3Bet Preflop: 1.28, Hands: 399)
Hero (UTG): $500.00
MP: $661.12 (VPIP: 24.26, PFR: 14.89, 3Bet Preflop: 4.93, Hands: 960)
CO: $1,204.75 (VPIP: 29.46, PFR: 19.19, 3Bet Preflop: 9.46, Hands: 381)

SB posts SB $2.50, BB posts BB $5.00

Pre Flop: (pot: $7.50) Hero has 8 8 Q T

Hero raises to $17.50, fold, fold, BTN calls $17.50, SB raises to $75.00, fold, Hero calls $57.50, BTN calls $57.50

Flop: ($230.00, 3 players) 5 7 4
SB checks, Hero bets $72.10, fold, SB calls $72.10

Turn: ($374.20, 2 players) 3
SB checks, Hero bets $352.90 and is all-in, SB calls $352.90

River: ($1,080.00, 2 players) K
Players agreed to run it twice.

River #2: ($1,080.00, 2 players) 2

SB shows K A 6 A (One Pair, Aces)
Board #1 (Pre 68%, Flop 86%, Turn 95%)
(One Pair, Aces)
Board #2 (Pre 67%, Flop 85%, Turn 95%)

Hero shows 8 8 Q T (One Pair, Eights)
Board #1 (Pre 32%, Flop 14%, Turn 5%)
(One Pair, Eights)
Board #2 (Pre 33%, Flop 15%, Turn 5%)

SB wins $538.50
SB wins $538.50

I might be responsible for all of Shuller’s next $70k, I spazz to the man for fun..

So another car crash and another ugly graph…




Finished off the day firing off $7k to Cobus at 25/50hu PLO 5card. Good game selection.

Need to try and dust myself off and find my confidence prior to Barca because right now I don’t even want to go. The sun is shining here in London today at least so perhaps some good times on the horizon.

I've been following your blog for a while and enjoy your content. It seems to me that you are in somewhat of a vicious circle where by if you are winning you need to keep playing as the games are too good to leave and while if you are losing you need to keep playing to hit the magic number so you can retire. It is clear that you are very good at the game and it makes sense to keep playing but as a full time option it is not something that will ever make you happy regardless of hourly etc. At the end of the day money is only a means to an end anyway and it is more important that you enjoy the process. Why not dip your toes into something else for a month or two to see if that alleviates some of the pressure/ anxiety you are feeling? I experienced some similar issues before and took a job (which I have now quit) but was honestly great for providing some perspective and working out what you truly care about

^Disgaree. PW clearly is in love with the game and the gamble (otherwise he wouldn't be playing 25/50 5card or just randomly sitting when Berri Sweet is playing). Agree about maybe taking a break though and I guess that's what Barca is for.

Some of those bluffs were a bit ambitious but you got a lotta heart kid
Don't sweat it, just a part of variance imo. You were soaring for like 2 weeks straight for, what, +$150k? So it's just normal to have these sessions hah, you'll be back in no time

Obviously you cherry picked some of the bad hands as an example, but it seems like you might be pressing too hard in some of these spots. I don't play online short handed anymore so I'm sure this advice should be taken with a grain of salt, but it looks like you are deciding to not give people credit and bluffing in mediocre spots.

I think the hand you ran into the nut flush is a good example. So in a spot like that the guy is already likely to call your river raise a little lighter given your image (I'm deriving your image to be loose from comments in posts and player comments to you in hands). So you are trying to force the issue in a spot where he shouldn't be pot folding to you.

I'd suggest not playing online for a bit, and grinding it out live to regain some of your composure. I'm a big fan of the thread, wish you luck sir.

Back to Sanity

The blog waits for no man, today is my birthday so I would hope that poker will hit the back burner but yesterday I was back in at the live arena.

The return of an old face and old legend from Germany seems to have generated a little higher stakes action back in the live arena and that was the case last night. We managed to get a little £5/10+ going and it was eventually morphed into a £5/10/25, which was nice and a huge breath of fresh air.

Now this blog used to be about some live HH’s, some damn funky ones at times, so I’ll delve into a few of the bigger ones and try and dissect what went down:

Hand 1) Spot in the game opens off £2.2k to 90, flatted by a few and I squeeze A9ssQThh out of the straddle. I think it general this is a hand we can be squeezing, double suited, decently connected and with two strong suits. Unfortunately the opening villain, who’s vpip was probably 90% at this point finds a dreaded repot. The first caller now calls this bet of £1500 and it’s back to me. Villain1 £700 back and Villain2 £1600 back. I think we have a pretty standard call here and it going 3way probably benefits us. I think villainA despite being a spot is going to have AA a lot, obviously not great for us but 3handed our strong suits and connectivity will play well in this small SPR situations. Flop comes down T75hh and we open jam, again standard and both Villains call off. Villain A predictably had the AA with AA88 and Villain2 has 7543ddcc. We run twice and they end up chopping me up as I fade a bunch of equity. -£3100

Hand2) I’ve reloaded to a random £2.7k and we find ourselves with J987hhss. Folds to HJ (VillainB from Hand1, who is one of the most active regs in the game) and he opens to 90, CO flats and I decide to 3b the btn to 400. I think this is kinda dicey as a norm, I think like a JT98hhss is going to be an absolute slam dunk 3bet but this is probably on the cusp, certainly vs earlier opens I’m flatting but given this is HJ and CO, CO in particular being a very passive reg who will folds to 3bs etc I felt it was ok spot. VillainA pots to 1300 playing 5500 and CO now surprisingly jams and is the covering stack. I call off vs what is likely to be two AA or an AA and AKK. Think I get a good price here and our double suited and connecting hand will be pushing a positive EV vs these hands in general. VillainA actually goes into the tank and this is probably bad for us obviously. He eventually calls off with strong Kings and villainB predictably has AA with AA32. So I would suspect I’m in a decent equity spot here dependant on villainA suitedness. I manage to run good and win both boards with a flush each time. +£5200

Hand3) So this was probably a hand I’ve butchered a little and definitely highlights why I’d take a different line live vs online. Limped pot, 3 limps I believe and folds to me in the SB with KQT9ss. I pot to 130 and we go 4way to a 992r flop. I decide to check here, in general live you can continue here sometimes but in this game I think my image is actually pretty snug where I’ll perhaps make moves on later streets. So I check and it checks to BTN (solid reg, good winner in the games) and he fires 175, I flat and the spot in the game flats. Good situation. Turn comes Qc bringing a club fd. I decide now that I think the hand always checks to btn and this spot is sort of a passive caller so I don’t expect him to bet ever here and expect him to call a bet a lot but probably not if BTN bets and I flat or raise. I also think BTN could be stabbing a lot given both me and this guy have called so I lead turn for 1/3rd pot which isn’t my default but I don’t hate it at all. So I lead 325 and they both call pretty quickly. River comes 8x and it’s an interesting one. I think perhaps in general I should maybe check here, I think BTN is a guy who perhaps over value bets river, as a lot of live guys do but will make big folds. Then again I think with the spot sandwiched in the middle I just don’t expect him to find folds with any boat 22/98/92 and if he has like a JT9 JJTcc I think he’s calling. I think the spot is bet big or check and given I decided to bet I go ahead with this and bet £1650 and the spot folds and the BTN makes a big tank fold, which I suspect is 98xx, so good fold him and disappointing for me. +£1400


Navigated a few other small pots here and there and the game just lost it’s gas and wheels when players started taking the straddle off (literally what annoyingly always happens) and I decided to quit fairly early with a £3600 win. It’s been two days in a row with 5/10/25 (I missed yesterday but apparently it was very good) and hopefully this is the start of a little run of higher stake action in the live games again, which would be very very good for morale.

I’ll be out tomorrow for my birthday and don’t know about today I might even go in and play cos I have nothing planned and tbh I don’t really care about birthdays, then again it could just be a little too sad.

OP loves the game, and that's good, he just needs to love the degen a bit less.

happy bday!

Thanks brotherman.

Do I love the game or does the game love me?

Call Off the Bells

I’ve been a little slack in updating lately and albeit it’s an uncomfortable topic to discuss it’s been partially due to my struggles with depression.

Depression is a strange thing. It affects everyone differently, it often affects the most unlikely of candidates. I don’t want to discuss depression as an umbrella topic though, I’m not qualified to and find it kind of offensive when non experts type out generalisations over mental health. I will describe my issues with depression however.

I’m someone who has always struggled to get excited about things. Through poker, and other facets of my life, I’ve been incredibly fortunate. Been able to travel to places many never will, been able to be involved in hijinks and adventures that’d be desirable to a huge number. Have good family and friends. I certainly, in a nutshell, would have nothing to complain about. However, I’ve always had a fairly prominent emptiness and this runs in two ways. The lack of excitement I alluded to earlier and a lack of empathy or an inability to really feel things in the world. I wouldn’t call it a lack of emotion as such because I probably am quite emotive, in the values I hold, the music I listen to, the fact that I write a blog…

Depression has been a hinderance in many ways, it certainly effects poker. Recently I had a huge upswing online, was battling players I respect, in comfort, not heavily underrolled like the past, yet I still felt pretty empty. I still couldn’t shake that emptiness every single morning I wake up and every single night I went to bed. I don’t think being depressive means never enjoying anything. There are plenty of spots in life where I derive enjoyment, I find many small parts of the day, or hanging out with friends and family in specific situations where I really have a great time. Eventually though I’m left wondering and asking ‘what’s the point in any of this, is this really so great, is it really worth being excited over this?’.

For me it’s definitely a battle to get up and get at it each morning. I’ve probably tried every fix under the sun, medication, meditation, yoga, drinking, exercise, routine, freedom, travel, binge eating, starving myself, reading and the list goes on. Part of coming back to writing this blog was an attempt to rediscover purpose in my life and to share my mental experiences with the world in an attempt to shake off this loneliness, this emptiness.

Anyway, I don’t write this out, as often, as a cry for help but more just to share and see what happens. Sometimes you find others in the same boat, sometimes it’s good for me to just pile out all the ****e that’s compiled and built up in my mind.]

Authors Note: Depression really can affect anyone and it’s got a incredibly durable mask, anyone who’s ever played poker with my live for instance will likely say I’m one of the largest characters you’ll likely to meet on the felt, I make a lot of jokes and am usually extremely jovial (many a therapist has told me that I mask sadness through humour, textbook I guess..). I think really in the end it’s about keeping an eye on one and other and accepting that we’re all human at the end of the day and everyone is dealing with and going through their own ****, no matter how much we like to focus on our own.


Ok, so that is a poker blog and that was a fairly heavy start but I just wanted to share that and explain why I’d been absent for a few days.

Poker

Due to the aforementioned feelings of depression, combined with some food poisoning I had over the weekend it appears unlikely I’m going to go to Barca. It’s funny, life gives and takes and whilst I think perhaps I’m missing out on some good opportunities not going we’ve had some really good games live again. Last night was no exception, unfortunately I’m sort of in a rut lately and couldn’t shake playing awful and ended up breaking even after being up a bunch, annoying but it happened and probably could/should have been worse. Disappointing to not get it done in such a gin line up though.

As with zoom lately there were a procession of terribly played smaller pots that I could pick out, check raising 832ddd in a 3b pot with AKT7black vs a good friend and good reg probably being the tip of the iceberg for instance. Then just open mucking before the turn even fell.

One big pot that went down.

Few limps and I end up jacking up the KK22ddcc, fairly premium holding. Friend of mine jams for £450 behind, guy is never jamming super light, probably actually doesn’t jam these stacks as lightly as he should actually (we’re playing 5/10/25) and one of the original limpers who’s a reg, flats the £450 playing £3800. Folds back to me in the SB and I end up potting and the flatter jams behind and I call off. I mean I don’t think it’s horrendous and wouldn’t mind some feedback. To be honest given this reg’s style I assumed that there was a strong chance he was laying this trap with an AA hand but I also knew he’d have some other holdings in his range and KK22 double suited init bruv. As it turned out he had AAAT rainbow so not in horrific shape, shorty jammer has JJT7ddhh and in classic me fashion I found a K high board to scoop the big pot and ended up chopping vs the shorty who made a straight on one of the boards in a smaller main.

Like I say, if I hadn’t burnt them from my memory for how absolutely appallingly I played them there were many other hands that could have entered the blog in an effort to shame myself but sadly the fire inside burned them up in the dark of the night.

Likely no play today as going to watch City vs Liverpool with best friend who’s over from Holland for the night. Back at it tomorrow, thanks for reading.

Keep going man! Who do you support yourself? Out of those 2 and overall?

Someone once said that existential angst is a luxury. I'm not sure if I believe that or not, but sometimes I think about that quote when I'm feeling empty, and it puts things into perspective.

This relates remarkably well and is a term I had let slip by. Thanks for the comment.

Very happy I found this blog again, thanks for reigniting it.

I have really enjoyed reading your threads mate. I feel pretty much the same way to, I know you already mentioned it, but something that has improved my mental health as been going to the gym for like the last 5 weeks, I dont have any goals or anything, just hoped it would improve my mental health and it has, its kinda weird I just feel compelled to go, like finding some excuse why I cant go is not an option.

Something that I really want to do when my financial situation is better, is to get into volunteering, think having someone to be accountable to, that depends on you, think would help us with the emptiness.

Good god, that post hits home very very hard.

I just wanted to say that I have been reading this thread from the start and I really appreciate it, both the poker and non-poker parts of it.

Regarding depression, part of it might also come from the knowledge that you are spending your talents essentially on praying on people´s weaknesses, degeneracy etc. Of course, your brain is wired in a depressive way and I think you would be depressed even if helping orphans in a poor country ("Why has this world so much suffering? I can only help but a few of them. What makes this child less entitled to a decent life than Joey from Exeter?"), but at least doing something more fulfilling could probably help a little.

If I was in your shoes, I would probably look into spending part of my roll on some small side-business. No, not "investing" in crypto or playing some other zero-sum game like Forex or stock markets, but starting up a small firm providing a service, or maybe a shop, or something related to a hobby or whatever. It would give you other outlets in life and also keep you busy and who knows, in time maybe you can grow it to provide a stable income.

Building one´s business is fulfilling and interesting and it also contributes to society in a way poker never will be able too.

Welcome back brother.

Yep gym is a great release, I have been going a lot but perhaps not going hard enough so a good goal could be to push myself more.

Hopefully not too hard my man.

Not a bad idea but I'm skeptical against this 'start a business' plan without having the right platform (ie knowledge, qualifications etc) in order to do so. It's definitely something I bare in mind though.

A night of Live but little life.

I played bad last night. I am not a good poker player when my A game deserts me.

Let’s dissect two bluffs and see how to dust off a good car in the space of a few hours:

Villain in this hand is Jacky, the bald Asian man of Poker After Dark fame from a few weeks ago. My prior knowledge of Jacky were as such, Bellagio reg, has played huge and hung in there for a long time. Thought he might rofl at these ‘lower’ stakes, know he’ll have an ego vs me and vice versa as we were both sat so insanely deep.

Hand 1)

Villain limps, another limp and I iso the AKK6hh, King high suit, and folds to Villain who calls, other dude folds so we go HU to a turn. Game is 10/25/50. Effective stacks £30k.

Flop is JT8hh. Villain checks. Hero? So hero checks back here, which I would say is standard and I expect the solver to check here. I find it interesting though whether we want to deviate to exploitation when stack sizes are this deep and live dynamics kick into gear. Villain is going to be very aggro I think vs perceived weakness and our hand has good durability on turns. I think with nut hearts I would have bet on flop and been happy to build a large pot with position and great front door nuttiness.

Turn is JT86hh. So brick turn and Villain unsurprisingly comes out betting. I remember planning to fold to pot size bet but he bets 600/750, still a sizeable bet and I’m not in love with the spot but I think we have enough equity and enough visibility on rivers that we can peel profitably here.

River JT869hh. River is amazing card for our range and I was preparing to happily bluff river here, however to my surprise Villain comes out full potting. What happens next is just the dangers of not playing with full clarity (see: Depression blog post recently). I think when this spot arises where he chooses the full pot sizing we have two very clear options A) Call B) Fold. Obviously folding being the higher % play. I think the call KK we choose don’t want to block hearts. I do think Villain can be weighted to a bunch of QQ choosing to limp in EP vs choosing an open raise, ie: I expect him to open raise a good amount of his good rundowns, rundowns that will have the nut straight here and although he’d been using a lot of EP limps it was definitely not 100% and he seems to have a mix strategy on limping/opening.

I decided, brainlessly to go with option C) which was to raise to £8k. I think this is just simply awful and I really beat myself up about it after the bluff because it really defies logic in my opinion. I think we’re simply getting better to call and getting his bluffs that we already beat to fold. Brainless play and way too much money to be making such a silly mistake. Unsurprisingly Villain clicks it back to 15k and I have to make a silly and embarrassing fold.

Hand 2)

This one I don’t mind as much and is likely closer to being solver approved but I think given live factors, importantly game flow, I have donked hard again.

UTG limps, I limp UTG1 with AAJ6ss, nut spade, reason being that there was no 3betting happening in the game but a decent amount of iso’ing and obviously my hand was going to play fantastically as a back raise vs most of the stack sizes on the table. Unfortunately it limped around we go like 5 way to a flop.

Flop is KJTss. Great flop for us to apply pressure and obviously we have a good hand with a ton of equity. Old school reg, who donks around in smaller games but plays better when stakes are raised leads for 200. We pot to 800, I think this is fine when we’re super deep, we’re in a nice spot where we never ever get raised here and just get to pile pressure with great equity. Folds back to villain who flats.

Turn is KJT9ss. I think a friend makes a good point that Villain probably doesn’t lead many none AQxx hands on the flop. I agree in theory but feel he should lead some set + straight draw etc and top set, set +fd, this could be inaccurate and wishful thinking. Anyway we’re going to continue with our line on the turn and it’s not a bad turn to do so as it’ll encourage him to fold these sets etc. My range unfortunately only straights + fd’s and flushes so I expect a reasonable amount of turn resistance. Villain checks and I go ahead and pot, which again I think is fine, like sizing, maximum pressure and villain sticks around which doesn’t surprise me.

River KJT95ss. River bricks off and villain checks. I think given game flow, the fact I’d already been shown up in the previous £8k river bluff, combined with the fact we block spades and villain has a ton of bare AQxx means that I should have bitten the bullet here and checked back and swallowed my medicine. That said I end up at river with stone bottom of my range with absolutely no showdown and therefore theoretically it’s not the worst bluff spot and we have the AA blockers. I go ahead and bomb for pot again and the guy ships for like £500 more and again I have to fold.

Author note: Earlier in the night I’d won a £30k pot (bare in mind 10/25 game). To go on and lose is mightily worrying.

After that bluff I was -£13.5k, after being up £12k and I decided that my decision making wasn’t at it’s best so just to swallow the loss and comeback another day.


So there we go, another bad day in the life of the Goose and mainly self inflicted I’d say. This is life, this is poker and perhaps I’ll do better today. Good luck all.

That's a redline nightmare right there.

Being solver-approved is overrated

Live @ The Vic

Another day, another 5/10/25 (progressing into 10/25/50) in London. Hurray and rejoice, hopefully this continues.

My own form has been poor lately but last night I was back in the groove last night, wheels were firmly on and just played a solid game all night, unfortunately the deck didn’t co-operate and I booked a really small loss.

Just gonna dive into a few hands and then wrap up with a little pet peeve of mine at the end.

Hand1)

So arguably this would be on the border of my only mistake of the night and I don’t hate and think the solver doesn’t hate it either but I’ll fire it out and see if any PLO aficionado’s chime in with a thought or opinion (no one either does but alas it’s cathartic nonetheless).

Game had a little fire in it at this point and VillainA is an active opener and VillainB is solid but not great, however was getting bashed up at the time and definitely had a little steam in the system. VillainA opens HJ playing 1.2, BTN 3b’s off similar stack and I find A7ddQTss in the SB. I think from a range and positional perspective it’s a decent hand to cold 4 but would probably be nice to have them a little deeper to increase fold equity. If not fold equity then it’s a little iffy. I like my hand as it doesn’t block a K and I think this leads heavily to BTN having KK a lot as a 3b here. I think BTN, albeit a little steamed, is a long time pro and could see him folding KK here if it goes HU. Unfortunately my boy and former housemate, tight player, now jams behind me for 2k total, original opener calls off, BTN calls off and with us calling 950 in a bajillion we call off too. Both active opener and BTN had KK and my boy had the AAQJ. Found a lot of light at the end of the tunnel with a J94dd flop but alas didn’t hit on either run out. -2000

Hand2)

I’d been a little card dead for a few hours and then found this weird spot. Long time rec/weak reg opens UTG, usually gonna be tight but game flow he’d just been stacked so was definitely liable to be wider than usual. Folds to us in the CO with AKT8hh (nut heart of course) and we flat the 90 and the straddle comes along too.

Flop is J88r with one heart. Checks to me I bet 175, a little large in reflection was perhaps auto piloting a little, and straddle folds and original raiser calls.

Turn is J886hh. Great card, think it’ll make villain a little more sticky with additional draws out there. He checks and I bet 450 and he calls very quickly. In live poker I realise that I don’t put enough work into these timing tell spots and need to pay more attentiion/makes notes in future if hands are seen at showdown. I’m still liking the spot at this point, think villains is going to still be sticky on this turn.

River is J8865hhh, flush completes. Villain, to my surprise, open jams now for like £1.6k. Villain takes these ‘weird’ lines a lot and really is usually value heavy but will occasionally have a spazzy bluff. I don’t think he’s jamming flushes here and I hold both the Ah and Kh. I had to look to my blockers, blocking 8 but not blocking J, so unlikely bare 8x turning itself into a bluff, blocking both big hearts so if he’s jamming a flush perhaps it’s most likely to be one fo these two. All in all I decided that my blockers were pretty poor to justify a call when beating no value range and so I made the tight fold. After the hand villain immediately claimed he had a flush but couldn’t say which one when I asked him and said that he was trying to get called by an 8 that’d check back, this made me happy and I’m fairly certain he had a boat here. -700

After that didn’t really have many hands of note, ran a little bad in a big showdown with top set that would have put me up a ton on the session and in reality I was playing so tight that my stack barely fluctuated. Lost an annoying little pot towards the end and swallowed my medicine for a meagre £400 loss. Much more palatable than the previous night’s loss at least

Pet Peeve

Later in the night Jacky, from Bobby’s Room and PAD fame, was back in the game and given he’s accustomed to very high stakes wanted to crank the stakes up again. I obviously didn’t mind this and it seemed that most of the regs didn’t so we bumped it up to 10/25/50. All this is fine.

However, once this happened Jacky and his buddy just were absolutely glued to their phones, I mean literally if they were ordering the situation in a restaurant it’d have been the ‘Staring into my phone all night with a side order of a poker games we’ve asked to make bigger please’. It made me realise that phones at a poker table are just a really bad tool for action. The game hadn’t particularly been great action anyway but all of a sudden it was just awful action now, totally dead and tight as anything. I think if you’re two guys who sit and persist in stakes being banged up then you should be engaged in the game at least, not that I’m trying to scapegoat anybody here but I just think that’s not the done thing to do. I remember when I used to play huge games in Sydney the casino had a rule where you couldn’t use phones at the table and although, as humans tend to do, everyone complained a little it was AMAZING for the action. Literally the most fun and action games I’ve ever played. I suspect I’ll drop the no phones in the suggestion box at the Vic but don’t expect it to have an impact.

Not grinding tonight cos I’m going to see arcade fire at Wembley. Should be awesome.

Is this Jacky? pretty lol vid https://www.reddit.com/r/poker/comme..._shoot_on_pad/

Jesus wtf

Lol yeah

Farrah: if looks could kill