Rooting for you. Hard to stop but damn worth it .

I deal with anxiety attacks everyday, sometimes they last 20 mins but they can go as long as 2 hours, IDK what to do my medical team isn't giving me the appropriate (strong enough dose) medication to deal with this it happens more often than not when I play poker

When the episode comes I just go in my room, grab my dog on me and rest and close my eyes... IDK how long this fiasco can last before I go nuts

Why not sticking to weed only? It has some downsides but it's very good in helping you quit stronger drugs and it helps in anxiety a lot.

Weed is depleting the level of serotonin and makes anxiety much worse.

Suggesting drugs to help with anxiety while the guy is a drug addict just isn't it.

He needs psychological help. Perhaps behavioral therapy could help, but nothing will help while you're still being an active user of drugs. Even small ones like weed for a drug addict can be a large one for someone with no control.

My anxiety isn't rooted in anything concrete, it's just unpleasant thoughts that roam inside my head and don't leave, it's very hard to take mentally

Here are some hands for the session:
H1 v reg
PokerStars - $1 NL FAST (6 max) - Holdem - 6 players
Hand converted by PokerTracker 4

BTN: 123.04 BB
SB: 147.04 BB
BB: 139.25 BB
UTG: 104.72 BB
MP: 105.39 BB
Hero (CO): 100 BB

SB posts SB 0.5 BB, BB posts BB 1 BB

Pre Flop: (pot: 1.5 BB) Hero has 5 5

fold, fold, Hero raises to 2.5 BB, BTN raises to 9 BB, fold, fold, Hero calls 6.5 BB

Flop: (19.5 BB, 2 players) 6 3 4
Hero checks, BTN bets 9.45 BB, Hero calls 9.45 BB

Turn: (38.4 BB, 2 players) 6
Hero checks, BTN bets 19 BB, Hero calls 19 BB

River: (76.4 BB, 2 players) 7
Hero bets 62.55 BB and is all-in, BTN calls 62.55 BB

Hero shows 5 5 (Straight, Seven High)
(Pre 19%, Flop 36%, Turn 23%)
BTN shows J J (Two Pair, Jacks and Sixes)
(Pre 81%, Flop 64%, Turn 77%)
Hero wins 199 BB


h2 vs whale
PokerStars - $1 NL FAST (6 max) - Holdem - 6 players
Hand converted by PokerTracker 4

Hero (BTN): 412.66 BB
SB: 105.06 BB
BB: 141.15 BB
UTG: 537.4 BB
MP: 107.25 BB
CO: 218.93 BB

SB posts SB 0.5 BB, BB posts BB 1 BB

Pre Flop: (pot: 1.5 BB) Hero has 7 5

UTG raises to 3.5 BB, fold, fold, Hero calls 3.5 BB, fold, fold

Flop: (8.5 BB, 2 players) 5 Q 2
UTG checks, Hero bets 4.04 BB, UTG calls 4.04 BB

Turn: (16.58 BB, 2 players) K
UTG checks, Hero checks

River: (16.58 BB, 2 players) 3
UTG bets 16 BB, Hero calls 16 BB

UTG shows 6 5 (One Pair, Fives)
(Pre 33%, Flop 42%, Turn 41%)
Hero shows 7 5 (One Pair, Fives)
(Pre 67%, Flop 58%, Turn 59%)
Hero wins 46.15 BB

H3 vs tightish (reg?)
PokerStars - $1 NL FAST (6 max) - Holdem - 6 players
Hand converted by PokerTracker 4

Hero (BTN): 151.77 BB
SB: 120.81 BB
BB: 151.9 BB
UTG: 208.76 BB
MP: 100 BB
CO: 215.08 BB

SB posts SB 0.5 BB, BB posts BB 1 BB

Pre Flop: (pot: 1.5 BB) Hero has J J

fold, fold, fold, Hero raises to 2.5 BB, SB raises to 10 BB, fold, Hero calls 7.5 BB

Flop: (21 BB, 2 players) Q K Q
SB bets 10 BB, Hero calls 10 BB

Turn: (41 BB, 2 players) J
SB bets 28 BB, Hero calls 28 BB

River: (97 BB, 2 players) T
SB bets 72.81 BB and is all-in, Hero calls 72.81 BB

SB shows 8 8 (Two Pair, Queens and Eights)
(Pre 18%, Flop 9%, Turn 0%)
Hero shows J J (Full House, Jacks full of Queens)
(Pre 82%, Flop 91%, Turn 100%)
Hero wins 240.12 BB


vs fish H4
PokerStars - $1 NL FAST (6 max) - Holdem - 6 players
Hand converted by PokerTracker 4

BTN: 94.8 BB
SB: 126.57 BB
BB: 100 BB
UTG: 94.41 BB
MP: 104.62 BB
Hero (CO): 104 BB

SB posts SB 0.5 BB, BB posts BB 1 BB

Pre Flop: (pot: 1.5 BB) Hero has Q A

UTG raises to 3.5 BB, fold, Hero raises to 10 BB, fold, fold, fold, UTG calls 6.5 BB

Flop: (21.5 BB, 2 players) J 5 8
UTG checks, Hero bets 6.74 BB, UTG calls 6.74 BB

Turn: (34.98 BB, 2 players) 3
UTG checks, Hero bets 22.15 BB, UTG calls 22.15 BB

River: (79.28 BB, 2 players) K
UTG checks, Hero bets 65.11 BB and is all-in, fold

Hero wins 76.78 BB


vs 2 fish
PokerStars - $1 NL FAST (6 max) - Holdem - 6 players
Hand converted by PokerTracker 4

BTN: 191.23 BB
SB: 313.04 BB
Hero (BB): 131.91 BB
UTG: 77.04 BB
MP: 139.12 BB
CO: 138.06 BB

SB posts SB 0.5 BB, Hero posts BB 1 BB

Pre Flop: (pot: 1.5 BB) Hero has K K

UTG raises to 2.5 BB, fold, CO raises to 8.5 BB, fold, fold, Hero raises to 23 BB, UTG raises to 77.04 BB and is all-in, CO raises to 138.06 BB and is all-in, Hero calls 108.91 BB and is all-in

Flop: (341.36 BB, 3 players) T 6 8

Turn: (341.36 BB, 3 players) 5

River: (341.36 BB, 3 players) 8

Hero shows K K (Two Pair, Kings and Eights)

Main Pot [231.62 BB]: (Pre 56%, Flop 72%, Turn 69%)
Side Pot#1 [109.74 BB]: (Pre 70%, Flop 85%, Turn 93%)

CO shows A K (One Pair, Eights)

Main Pot [231.62 BB]: (Pre 25%, Flop 13%, Turn 5%)
Side Pot#1 [109.74 BB]: (Pre 30%, Flop 15%, Turn 7%)

UTG shows Q Q (Two Pair, Queens and Eights)

Main Pot [231.62 BB]: (Pre 19%, Flop 15%, Turn 26%)

Hero wins 338.86 BB


H5 vs fish
PokerStars - $1 NL FAST (6 max) - Holdem - 6 players
Hand converted by PokerTracker 4

BTN: 94.23 BB
SB: 127.8 BB
BB: 229.35 BB
UTG: 254.71 BB
Hero (MP): 104 BB
CO: 100 BB

SB posts SB 0.5 BB, BB posts BB 1 BB

Pre Flop: (pot: 1.5 BB) Hero has A Q

UTG raises to 2.5 BB, Hero raises to 8 BB, fold, fold, fold, fold, UTG calls 5.5 BB

Flop: (17.5 BB, 2 players) T 9 9
UTG checks, Hero bets 5.48 BB, UTG calls 5.48 BB

Turn: (28.46 BB, 2 players) 2
UTG checks, Hero bets 19 BB, fold

Hero wins 27.04 BB

You need to fold more my friend, you should have a crushing blueline in these 100z games.

I love the weed high rapid, I love lighting a hash ball into a bottle and getting instantly high, but for the past month my anxiety attacks have been worse after smoking.

So I'll stick to coke for self-medication, one line when the anxiety strikes and it's gone

I'm a TAG like everyone else, I was pretty spicy when I played 200z but I've calmed down since my return lol

I’ve struggled a lot with anxiety in the last ten years after a really bad mushroom trip. Panic attacks just come out of nowhere and I’m forced to always have clonazepam on me just in case. Though I don’t suggest that for you as you are working to get clean. What I can say is finally more days go by between attacks. I used to smoke ounces of weed every month, and like you one day it just started to make the anxiety worse. I think going from an altered state of mind 24/7 to complete my sober will do that to you. You just have to get used to the new reality and it may take months and it may take years. Just remember it will get better and not to relapse to make the anxiety go away temporarily. You will never get better if you do. Best of luck man.

In your last PGC you made 10$ pokerstars giveaway to 3 posters, and i was one of winners in the end you didnt send anything.

I feel like to fix your karma you should payout your giveaway or you will be doomed with badrun forever m8

Gl with your challenge either way m8, stay on lower limits for now while your recovering ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

And the award for "most pathetic post" goes to...

Thanks for your post

My last psychosis was induced by shrooms too, I'm never touching that **** again. I'm aware that my anxiety is the aftermath of heavy substance abuse

PAY THE WINNERS!

I need to pay for my cat & dog food before I pay the winners man

Jesus christ man. I had never heard of you before reading this thread and as I went thru it the first half of the responses seemed really harsh. But the last half of this thread put the pieces of the puzzle together for me.

I'm in recovery too and can assure you that you are straight up delusional. This really does just feel like attention whoring. As others have said nothing will get better until you get clean. Self medicating with coke is one of the dumbest things I've read but I get it. I would have said the same thing about heroin and alcohol. The truth is you won't ever end up anywhere different until you give it up. It's scary and it's tough and there's no guarantee your life will get better but mine has. I used and drank at junkie/alcoholic levels for 12 years and was essentially a functional person professionally until the very end. Life has gotten so much better in the last year after rehab for me. Idk what I'm even trying to say but what you are doing isn't sustainable and will always leave you in this exact spot. Good luck man life is tough and this **** makes it seem impossible but if you keep doing the next right thing it's crazy how much life changes

Also it's 30 bucks pay the people lol. Who knows it could be the start of something for you

i'd rather do a coke line that costs 5$ than do the bacon in my bed, paranoid and anxious and wanting to die for 2 hours tbh

Lol yeah no **** so would I but the point is nothing will ever change if you continue doing lines

no pain no gain

not leaving this thread before the winners got paid

justice!

Not sure if you tried this before but here's my two cents. Four things that could help improve life anxiety and leave drugs.

1. Improve habits. Starting with nutrition, learn to cook it's pretty fun and a nice hobby (lots of stuff on youtube).

2. Sleep. Go to sleep always at the same time.

3. Physical activity. Everyday, doesn't need to be gym or sports, long walks on nature or parks is pretty great.

4. The most important one. Get a girlfriend or boyfriend that you have a strong emotional connection longterm, not just for sex. If you don't meet people usually that you have affinity with you can use online apps. There is an imense diversity of people you can find online, same interests, etc. Someone that doesn't stress out and you feel good with all the time. This fourth one you may have to put in some big reps like in poker, but you will find it eventually.

Slowly quit drugs (illegal or prescribed), you will feel much better longterm. Also cannabis/hash can cause psychosis and altered mental states btw, for people who think they are mostly harmless.

Truth be told this guy is just a drug addict, giving advice to one is very numbing. He needs psychological help, he should seek out therapy and probably a rehabilitation clinic.

What is the point of chasing money when you're going to get older and more susceptible to increasing the habit as well as the worsening of your mental state/physical addiction

This is a sad story. There is a possibility for a happy ending but blogging on 2+2 ain't it.

yeah too bad he wasnt put out of his misery on the spot

Psilocybin psilocyin are wonderful chemicals. Would never advise you or anyone without a sound mind perfect setting to try mushrooms (psilocyin or psilocybin)

They can be a very insightful and damn right mindblowing if used right

You have to be in a perfect setting for it.. if nt the effects can manifest and ive seen sane people go a bit strange after a strong introverted trip.

Wtf cocaine makes ur anxiety go away? Usually opposite for me. Unless im talking that first hit but that feeling is gone after 30 mins. Its truly awful chemical. And expensive can be a costly habit ive seen friends spend 10s of thousands on the stuff.

Hope ur dog is ok man. Give me a message anytime. Hopefully they can give u some meds to help alleivate the anxiety in short term (clonazepam or gabapentin come to mind)

Gl with the pokers. Try not to play during these anxiety driven moments hope u make a recovery and begin doing stuff u enjoy

All the best. Jamie

Another -14 buyins night, nothing is going well

Ima go play guitar at the metro station...